Dear Ava

Author: Ilsa Madden-Mills

Published by: Little Dove Publishing

Pages: 376

Format: Kindle Unlimited

My Rating: ★★★★★

“Our lines got a little blurry along the way, through broken hearts and time lost, but in the end, we made a full, complete, beautiful circle.”

My Thoughts:

This book is absolutely nothing but perfection! I do not typically read, let alone fall in love with, romance novels. I’m not the biggest fan of authors like Nicholas Sparks, Kristen Ashley, or Jenny Colgan - their take on the romance novel feels so typical and predictable. This book defeats any stereotype you may have going into it. 

Knox Grayson isn’t your typical popular, football athlete with a sensitive side. He is so much more. He is the perfect idea of a “hero.” He is patient, compassionate, caring, kind, and he lets Ava take her time to trust and love him. He’s had a difficult life: losing his mother, taking care of his brother, father always out of town for work. He’s forced to become more mature than any of his other popular jock friends. 

Ava Harris isn’t your typical bookish, nerd, quiet girl. She’s forceful, powerful, and badass in all the best ways. She, too, deals with way more than she should have to at her age: taking care of her little brother, living within the foster system and a group home, and dealing with (TW) the fact that she was drugged and assaulted at a party. 

Together, they create the most beautiful, surprising, and passionate romance. I’ve never seen two characters more meant for each other. They help each other slowly heal wounds. They grow together. 

The story, while heavy at times, carries grace and strength. The writing is phenomenal. The descriptions are vivid. The characters are extremely well developed. I fell in love with this novel, fast. I was smitten with both characters. I haven’t read a romance novel quite like it in a VERY long time! It was beautiful and everyone, literally everyone, should read this book! 

If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood

Author: Gregg Olsen

Published by: Thomas and Mercer

Pages: 415

Format: Kindle Unlimited with Audiobook

My Rating: ★★★★

“When she found a punishment that worked, she looked for ways to make it even more effective, more brutal. The act of beating her children seemed to fuel her and excite her. She seemed to savor the rush of adrenaline that came with being on the attack.”

My Thoughts:

I JUST finished reading this heartbreaking story. 

Reading this book was a serious mind-fuck to say the least. In a strange way, I related to Tori, Nikki, and Sami. I understood why they would still love mother and wish for nothing bad to happen to her, even given their childhood. These were young girls who, from the moment they were born, were subjected to horrible abuse. As a victim, you always hope for change and better times because they happen - they're just few and far between. That is why you stay. You love the person, but you hate the things they do. You have seen them be "good people" and you hope their actions will again reflect that "good person" you once saw. Of course, I wanted them to hurry and get away from Shelley as soon as possible, but I also knew they were young and victims of severe abuse.

However, I am baffled that this book takes place between the 80s and early 2000s, and teachers who saw the children on a daily basis never reported a thing. That completely blew my mind. It's one thing for a child to hide their bruises, scars, and cuts. It's a completely different thing when a child comes to school wearing the same item of clothing they've worn for 3 days, you can tell they haven't bathed, and they smell like bleach. As a future teacher, it's my job to educate students, yes, but it is also my job to make sure they have a safe environment. These children had the very opposite. If school personal did witness and report something, it was never brought up in the novel and that extremely disappointed me. The person I can't come to terms with is Dave Knotek. As a grown man, he too, falls victim to Shelley's abuse and I can understand him staying. But, even after all of these years, he can't keep the stories straight in his mind. One moment he claims Shelley made him do these awful things and he regrets every one, the next he's professing Shelley and his innocence like the abuse never even happened. It completely messes with my head. How can you do the things you did, to your children, to your nephew, to your friends, and then act like it never even happened? It's one thing to claim innocence, it's another to mix the story up. I hated Dave Knotek. He was not to be trusted. I could never tell when he was lying and when he wasn't, unlike Shelley. Overall, this book was thrilling and yet, so upsetting to read. There were moments I ran to the bathroom because the setting detail was so strong I thought I might puke. It was a lot to handle, but it was a great story. I hope more people find this book and make it known. These children, their story deserves to be heard and lord knows, when 2022 hits we all better make a run for it.

I Know Who You Are

Author: Alice Feeney

Published by: Flatiron Book

Pages: 288

Format: Paperback

My Rating: ★★★★

“Sometimes you have to fall hard enough for it to hurt to know when to pick yourself up. You can't start to put yourself back together if you don't even know that you're broken.”

My Thoughts: 

Let me begin by saying this book was a WILD RIDE of emotions! If you like mystery/thriller novels that keep you guessing at every turn - this book is meant for you!!

Aimee’s husband, Ben, has gone missing. He’s left all of his belongings, including his car, inside their home. She contacts the police to find her husband, only to learn there has been $10,000 taken out of her bank account. She quickly assumes it was Ben, but detectives say it was her who withdrew the money. All signs point to something incredibly bad.

As the novel combines two stories into one, we also learn of Aimee’s childhood before and after she ran away from home. 

Alice Feeney does an incredible job weaving the two together to make for a seamless story line that will have you second guessing every other page. The book immediately resonated with me as fast as I approached the second chapter. I could not put it down. The side characters seem unreliable, the narrator seems unreliable, who are you trust? You will not know until the final pages of the book! 

I have recommended this book to my friends and family. It is a magnificent and quick read. If you love the mystery genre and second-guessing, you will not regret this read! 

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It’s spring, you’re young, you’re lovely, you have a right to be happy. Come back into the world.

Shirley Jackson, We Have Always Lived in the Castle (via luthienne)

I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them

Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Author: Mark Haddon

Published by: Vintage Books

Pages: 226

Format: Paperback

My Rating: ★★★★

“Sometimes we get sad about things and we don't like to tell other people that we are sad about them. We like to keep it a secret. Or sometimes, we are sad but we really don't know why we are sad, so we say we aren't sad but we really are.” 

My Thoughts:

Christopher Boone is a young, 15 year-old boy with high-functioning autism or Asperger’s Syndrome. He is extremely skilled in math and often uses mathematical equations to logically understand the world. After finding out someone murdered his neighbor’s dog, Christopher sets off on a journey to find the killer, unravelling family secrets and overcoming personal fears along the way. 

The book has three main plot points. The first, the dog murder mystery. The second, Christopher’s family struggle. The third, Christopher’s personal struggles with his Autism. Since this book is written from Christopher’s perspective, it makes the book a very literal read. There are not long, drawn-out descriptions of people or places, unless Christopher is fixated on them. It is straight-forward and to-the-point, making it an effortless, quick read. 

In contrast to many other reviews for Haddon’s book, I’m rating it a solid 4 stars. While I love the perspective of a narrator with Autism, Christopher is a middle class, young, white male with the stereotypical perception of Autism. He focuses on mathematical equations, does not like being touched, and struggles showing empathy for others. Not every person with Autism exhibits the same, stereotypical struggles, that is why it is called the “Autism Spectrum.” With that being said, I loved that Christopher’s personal struggles were not simply solved by the end of the book. Autism is not meant to be solved, or by all means, cured. Many people are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. It just means they think differently than those not on the spectrum. Christopher learns to embrace his authenticity and not hide behind it. He fights to be “normal,” and later discovers there is no “normal.” 

It is a beautiful and tender story that will not make you cringe. It will teach you patience and empathy for others in a way you would not understand before. It is by no means a perfect depiction of children or young adults with Autism and Mark Haddon is no expert in the Spectrum, but it will nonetheless, teach you consideration and resiliency.