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Train Journeys
It's a common occurrence for me to spend at least two hours on the train every week as I commute from country to city. And I've always found this time, is where I do my best thinking.
Ideas, curiosities, inspiration and wonder all dance around my mind like moths to a flame. I start off in the country, and as the train makes its way along the tracks I am spoiled with views of wild rugged countryside in between small towns dotted along my route.
What beauty there is in the outdoors. Rain pours and Winter calls and everything turns from green to brown. Dormant, damp, dull and old yet the pure freedom of the growth in the trees and hedgings. No rules no guidance. Just as free as life can let it be.
There is a certain liberty I find in watching how life is within nature. How it grows and developes unique and bold in its own way.
Then as I near the city that freedom disperses and a new form of natural growth appears. The growth of civilization. Houses are in orderly rows making way for roads and greenery for children to play on. Town centres, churches, streets and shops grow in numbers and size. And everything we touch as people, becomes organized and fixed.
Now I had a friend who is a strong believer in saving the planet (which I 100% support) but in her beliefs its sad to say, she has become lost in her understanding of life and the appreciation we should hold for it.
According to her thoughts we are parasites on the World. Ruining it with our selfish acts and greed. And although I can understand her views in one aspect what I disagree with is her hate towards people. How can you be human and hate humanity?!
Does a lion hate another lion for his larger consumption of meat on the wild planes of Africa?!
I think to view humanity as a parasite is only damaging our understanding of life in itself and in our role on the planet. Yes, population has grown and there has been a huge increase in the ugliness in the World. But I still believe we are as natural as the wild trees that grow in the fields I pass on the train.
Why do we have such ways of living? Why do we build houses, and shop for an abundance of food, and dispose of our rubbish? Why do we garden in such cultivated ways when the natural world can grow so free?
I believe it's down to a very natural instinct we were created with. Survival.
We set standards, expectations, belief systems, ideals, judgements and all the rest in some shape make or form to survive.
Now we have come a long way from our forefathers who were hunter gatherers and lived with a great appreciation and respect for the natural world around us. But to say we are parasites.......well by definition there is fact. But it is viewing life in a sense of "Nature is beautiful and people are not" "Animals are beautiful but insects and parasites are not"
But is there really a them and us? When we are all part of the same circle of life. Albeit with different psychological programming going on in our brains.
To speak with such disgust on one or the other shuts us off from being able to appreciate all aspects of life. And as people we are far from perfect, but perhaps that was the way we were meant to be?
I like to run these thoughts through my head. I think naturally as humans we should be curious. When we stop being curious we limit ourselves to a much smaller World of understanding. And by hating anything or anyone so strongly, we only cause ourselves anguish.
Well, that's all my rambling thoughts for today. My train is crossing the Shannon and I am nearly at my destination. If you have any thoughts to share please feel free to.
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The Happiness Trap
Feeling like a deflated balloon lately? Like you need some happiness or excitement or you're missing out on something?
I've been there. Scrolling on social media looking at everyone's portrayed happy living wondering "Why am I not happy?" " I should be, but I just don't feel it!"
Well give this a watch. I wish I had watched it sooner, because it really helped clear up a few misconceptions I had over that sunny little term "Happiness".
And what it is to us compared to what we expect it to be.
youtube
#thehappinesstrap#drrussharris#mental wellbeing#expectationsvsreality#happiness#greatexpectations#feelingshit#feelinggreat#happyasapiginshite#understandingthepsyche#interestingpsychology#Youtube
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Power of a Friend
"We're born alone, We die alone. And in between we spend our lives looking for something, connection. That's all we want. Every once in awhile we might find it in a true friend. Many friendships will come only to fade as quickly as a firework, but some, a rare and precious few, will turn life up to eleven and keep it there.
You gotta hold onto friends like these because just like air you'll miss them when they're gone. No one else gets it. But they do!
Cause they know what's in your soul, your heart your mind. They'll blindside you, come out of nowhere, but you'll know them right away, you'll click. As perfectly as a jack plug into an amp.
They'll know what you're thinking before you've thought of it, Anticipating your every move.
They'll understand the demons as well as the angels inside of you, never judging you for it either.
And together you'll encourage a thrill that makes you surge with life."
Christopher Walken
#friendship#connection#mental health#lifelessons#magic of life#christopher walken#real life#purpose in life#strength#appreciation#friends#soulmates#soul connection
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"Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day."
-Glen Cook, (Sweet Silver Blues)
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Reflections From 2022
Every so often things in life happen, and we have no control on how they happen to us.
We spend our lives surrounded by constant reminders that life is full of the unexpected and that change is inevitable. Yet we continue to live our lives under the belief that we can control what goes on around us.
Last year at this time I was no different. But 2022 came and with it a flurry of changes I never foresaw or imagined happening.
We decided to up and move to the tranquil countryside from a busy city. We traded in our shift work jobs in an airport for work Mon-Fri with steady hours and a social life again. We lost a beloved family member to cancer. And for the first time I experienced the numbing and all consuming feeling of grief. We became an Aunt and Uncle for the first time not long after this too. My health declined, transitioning on different Epileptic medications resulted in more seizures than I've ever had in a year. And as disbelieving as it sounds I lost my job due to these health issues.
But despite all the emotional ups and downs of the year past. It ended as best as it could have. Surrounded by the family we are still blessed to have, new and old friends and an appreciation for all we have in the moment.
Its funny. In the past I have spent nearly every New Years making a list of my resolutions. (I love making lists!)
But this year for the first time,...I feel instead I need to focus. Just focus. On each day as it comes and goes. The good, the bad, the dull, the bright.
Not to do anything in particular with them except acknowledge them as they come and go.
I have been given an opportunity to go to college and finally study what I have wanted to for the last five years. And its not to be forgotten, this opportunity only arose when I was let go after my probation in my new job. Something that put me into a deep depression (this had never happened to me and there was really NOTHING I could have done differently to prevent it)
But when things happen that we really don't understand or expect I like to think it is faith directing us back into a place we are meant to be in.
And considering the fact I will be studying counselling and psychotherapy. I figured why not start up a blog to document this coming year as best as I can. Returning back to education is beginning to feel daunting. I've never been to college before.
Going straight into the working world when I was 18. And to be truthful back in 2013 when I began my leaving cert in the September, I really didn't believe I had the intelligence for getting the right amount of points or being accepted into a college of my choosing.
My classmates would have told you different. But I upheld a very careful "clever" front. I never stood out as intelligent compared to my sister so I figured why bother, less stress if I choose I'm not interested in college from the get go. And by earning my own money I could escape my small town world tucked away in Irelands countryside.
And with high hopes I could see the World.
I did. I still haven't seen it all. But I saw as much as I had hoped for. I met the love of my life. I made friends I will hold close forever. I learned a great deal of things and came face to face with the difficulties in mental health in the people I cared for. I believe had things not all unfolded as they had I would not be here right now.
So after a lot of reflection I hope to go forward in this New Year open minded, wide eyed, and attentive to life and each day it gives me as I go forward.
With full intentions to focus. Appreciating every day for what it is good or bad. Because without the good and bad we would only exist in a mere flatline. Its those ups and downs that give us life as it is.
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