lethargicmouse
*internal stuttered screaming*
(: ig: lethargicmouseSW, THG, Peaky Blinders, the 100, AWAE, and other assorted fandoms <3
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VENTURE HAWAI'I
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sometimes i just sit here and think that one of my favorite characters is played my one of my most hated characters.
like wdym finnick is also mosley. go home.
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I'm not having a good day so neither will you, so please remember:
• there might still be people who used Finnick when he was 14 in The Capitol who went unpunished
• Gale's name doesn't make Katniss smile anymore
• Haymitch and Effie didn't actually end up together and he probably never saw her again
• Madge died and will never get her happy ending
• Gale will never go to the woods he used to hunt it
• Haymitch has no family and did not recover from alcoholism
• Johanna was alone when she got back to 7 and probably never got over her hydrophobia and will sink into deep depression and alcoholism and die alone
• Enobaria was also probably tortured like Peeta, Johanna and Annie but nobody ever mentions it just like they don't mention the fact that most/all of her friends and family are dead
• one day Katniss will have to explain to her kids where auntie Prim is
• Katniss and Peeta got a boring ending but were too exhausted to search for a better one
• Beetee had to watch Wiress, his wife, die and most likely will never recover
• Lavinia, the red haired Avox girl, had the most traumatizing life than any other character and yet still died with no one even knowing her name
• Haymitch lost Chaff, his best friend
• Finnick died not knowing Annie was pregnant
• Pollux heard Castor's screams as he was getting ripped apart and Annie heard the cries of other tributes as they were drowning around her
• Tigris saw Lucy Gray in every rainbow
#i saw a post somewhere that said like after haymitch katniss and peeta finish the book#that haymitch either dies or he kills himself#book verse obvs#but that’s the only way i’d think of it bc him not being with effie literally pains me to think about#like his body just gives out finally. his purpose was to mentor and he doesn’t need to anymore#so he can finally rest#the hunger games#haymitch abernathy#haymitch abernathy x effie trinket
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Effie’s second year <3
also haymitch just ripped her wig off for the first time and is going to explode
are they healthy? no. is it sexy? yes.
Inspired by guilty as sin? from mother taylor
#haymitch abernathy#effie trinket#the hunger games#hayeffie#haymitch abernathy x effie trinket#haymitch x effie#thg haymitch#hayffie#ttpd#ts ttpd#the tourtured poets department#guilty as sin?
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I’ve only seen up to season 3 of Peaky Blinders but I have such a hankering to read a fic where Lizzie gets her lick back. Like I need a long, grueling and honestly cruel love story between them where Tommy has to redeem himself. He did her so unbelievably dirty and I would just love love love to see some well deserved comeuppance.
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the sun sets
BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM FHAHRHJSHFJSJSBDJWJFHWJAKSNWHSUEHHSHDHDHWISJHDUEJEHRJ
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hello friends welcome to GRADING TORTURED POET SOCIETY SONGS BASED ON HOW EASILY I COULD TURN THEM INTO A HAYFFIE FIC (PART ONE) i hope u enjoy.
(for those interested but also my own future reference when i eventual do turn them into hayffie fics hehe)
i. fortnight: 5/10. potential post-war effie reflecting on their pre-canon and during-canon situationship. the "i love you / it's ruining my life" vibe is very Them but i'd have to write my way around all the wife lines.
ii. the tortured poets department: 8/10. good early-to-mid-situationship hayffie. good moments for haymitch trauma angst stuff. "who's gonna hold you like me?" is them. the wedding ring line could be just them messing around while drunk one night during games season; it's when effie realizes it's Real.
iii. my boy only breaks his favourite toys: 9/10. excellent endish situationship hayffie vibes, 74th + 75th era. has good lines for effie as doll / toy / trinket (ha) imagery. also good imagery for effie and haymitch both being pieces in The Games. also "he runs because he loves me" and "he was my best friend" and "there was danger in the heat of my touch" ... need i go on?
iv. down bad: 7/10. good for their relationship between the end of the war and when effie actually moves to twelve. "how dare you think it's romantic / leaving me safe and stranded" literally them. also lots of good stuff for effie's post-war isolation in the capitol.
v. so long, london: 3/10. has the potential for a (book-verse) post-war angst fic where effie and haymitch try their absolute hardest but ultimately have too much trauma + damage to make it work. idk if i wanna do that tho.
vi. but daddy i love him: 9/10. excellent song for pre-canon hayffie all around. effie's relationship to her womanhood / escorting in the capitol? check. effie's inner conflict over her feelings for haymitch vs. her capitolborn beliefs? check. "dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid" but oh no haymitch ruined them! we cheered! joking that she's having haymitch's baby to her parents just to piss them off... very effie behaviour. excellent song for that Haymitch Is Unlike The Capitol Dandies Effie's Been Raised To Love theme that i like. "i know he's crazy but he's the one".
vii. fresh out the slammer: 7/10. good song for smack in the middle of their situationship. winter vs. summer parallels. effie's seasons without haymitch vs. games season. restriction with her capitol bfs vs. freedom with haymitch. "all those nights he kept me going". the end is good for a post-war hayffie happiness moment.
viii. florida!!!: 8/10. really good song for a Effie's Relationship With The Capitol fic. the isolation, the beauty covering ugliness, etc. "this city reeks of driving myself crazy". "at least the dolls are beautiful" that's literally about the escorts. "you home's really only the town you'll get arrested in" okayyy book-verse effie angst.
ix. guilty as sin?: 10/10. HORNY HAYFFIE ANTHEM. i need to get back in my writing proper smut era i fear. so so much material for haymitch worshiping at the altar of effie's hips and thighs. a song for people who believe that like a good 65% of their relationship is based on the fact that they're both incredibly hot and they both love having incredible sex. true love tbh.
x. who's afraid of little old me?: 9/10. excellent fic for the Effie's Relationship With Her Escort Career stuff that i love. "so tell me everything is not about me / but what if it is?" self centered queen! the general backstage horrors of escorting. "i was tame, i was gentle, till the circus life made me mean" ... "you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" ... "i am what i am cause you trained me" .... yeah.
xi. i can fix him (no really i can): 4/5. potential for a very very early situationship hayffie. general haymitch being a traumatized mess and effie trying her very hardest to help vibes.
xii. loml: 6/10. the first half is excellent for post-war hayffie coming back together. "who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames" yeahhh. but the second half ... the "you're the loss of my life" vibe ... could fit into the (book-verse) No Matter How Hard They Try They're Too Traumatized To Make It Work narrative but idk.
xiii. i can do it with a broken heart: 10/10. THE PERFECT SONG for 75th era effie being the perfect escort despite the fact that the world is falling away beneath her feet. "I cry a lot but I am so productive! It's an art!" is sooooo her. "i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like a plague" is haymitch avoiding her in an attempt to save her from Rebel Stuff but effie knows their relationship is only becoming more serious. she's miserable! she's hitting her marks! eyes bright! chins up! smiles on! everyone she loves might die! it's fine!
xiv. the smallest man who ever lived: 1/10. not a hayffie song at all. BUT potential effie + seneca relationship study fic?? mayhaps???
xv. alchemy: 7/10. good song for book-verse post-war post-torture effie going to haymitch in twelve. she's ditching the capitol, she's going back to her man! who are they to fight the alchemy? how could they ever deny it? his heart is reserved for her. the soulmastism! (not that they would ever admit that lmao)
xvi. clara bow: 10/10. ANOTHER PERFECT EFFIE CHARACTER STUDY SONG! the rose imagery? snow's impact on her life. "this town is fake, but you're the real thing". effie's relationship with the capitol / escorting / womanhood / fame / youth / patriarchy / etc. "flesh and blood amongst war machines" literally the escorts amongst The Games. "hell on earth is to be heavenly" + "promise to be dazzling". sexualization has liberated effie (given her a career, money, freedom) but at what cost? it's also her gilded cage.
anyway. thank u for coming to my extensive ted talk.
#crying this is perfect#haymitch abernathy#effie trinket#hayffie#the tortured poets department#haymitch x effie
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Loved your post about Peeta "Send It" Mellark about him being buried in the hole for days. I've seen the interpretation that Peeta saying "Oh, I don't care if you see me" is canon that Peeta has (or at least believes he has) a huge cock, i.e., I got nothing to be ashamed of, Katniss please look at what I can offer you. I think this interpretation is also where a lot of fics got that he is very big, in girth and length. I'm curious where you come down on this. Do you think this line alludes to canonically saying he's hung like a horse? If not, do you headcanon that he's large? Basically talk to me about Peeta's cock lol. Please ignore this if it's too ridiculous.
In response to this post.
Peeta was on deaths door but he was going to go out with a bang AND die trying.
As far as Peeta's Baguette goes, I'm going to go ahead and quote @waywardangel-wilds from a conversation we had about this earlier today (I promise you all don't (desperately do) want to see our conversations.)
"Peeta's got girth. idk about length but when he puts it in your mouth goes O"
Fucking SHAKESPEARE. Please write my eulogy, Cassie.
And, you know what? she's absolutely RIGHT. man is a whole sandwich that, when you look at it, you're just like "ain't no fucking way i can fit that whole thing in my mouth, something's gonna slide out the sides."
i'm not going to put his length in inches, but i will say that his length is exactly both of Katniss' fists and some of her mouth long. use that information how you will. just tag me when you do, you fucking heathens (affectionate)
... nobody asked but i'm going to put this here anyways. biggest dick of the series? big zaddy slaymitch. mans is PACKING. Peeta got like 8 eyefulls the day he bathed him on the train. When Peeta and Katniss have sex for the first time, Peeta's going to be thinking about Haymitch's giant fucking cheek slapper to help him last longer. works better than ANY grandmother or baseball stats.
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Loved your post about Peeta "Send It" Mellark about him being buried in the hole for days. I've seen the interpretation that Peeta saying "Oh, I don't care if you see me" is canon that Peeta has (or at least believes he has) a huge cock, i.e., I got nothing to be ashamed of, Katniss please look at what I can offer you. I think this interpretation is also where a lot of fics got that he is very big, in girth and length. I'm curious where you come down on this. Do you think this line alludes to canonically saying he's hung like a horse? If not, do you headcanon that he's large? Basically talk to me about Peeta's cock lol. Please ignore this if it's too ridiculous.
In response to this post.
Peeta was on deaths door but he was going to go out with a bang AND die trying.
As far as Peeta's Baguette goes, I'm going to go ahead and quote @waywardangel-wilds from a conversation we had about this earlier today (I promise you all don't (desperately do) want to see our conversations.)
"Peeta's got girth. idk about length but when he puts it in your mouth goes O"
Fucking SHAKESPEARE. Please write my eulogy, Cassie.
And, you know what? she's absolutely RIGHT. man is a whole sandwich that, when you look at it, you're just like "ain't no fucking way i can fit that whole thing in my mouth, something's gonna slide out the sides."
i'm not going to put his length in inches, but i will say that his length is exactly both of Katniss' fists and some of her mouth long. use that information how you will. just tag me when you do, you fucking heathens (affectionate)
... nobody asked but i'm going to put this here anyways. biggest dick of the series? big zaddy slaymitch. mans is PACKING. Peeta got like 8 eyefulls the day he bathed him on the train. When Peeta and Katniss have sex for the first time, Peeta's going to be thinking about Haymitch's giant fucking cheek slapper to help him last longer. works better than ANY grandmother or baseball stats.
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Chapter Twenty-Six
“Rude, inconsiderate, smart-mouthed, arrogant—”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, sweetheart.”
Effie glared at Haymitch with all the force she could muster. He stood in the doorway, hands tucked into the pockets of his slacks, and an unreadable expression on his face.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Haymitch,” she spat.
Happy Fine Line Friday! I'll just let this chapter speak for itself. :)
#when i tell you i SCREAMED AND READ IT THREE TIMES OVER#SCREAMING#hayffie#haymitch abernathy#haymitch x effie#effie trinket
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I can see why he would be good for Haymitch, whose thoughts run so darkly.
i can just about imagine the amount of jokes chaff has had to make to pull haymitch out of his usual slump or try and lighten the mood and that's so important to me. sooo important. in fact, the jokes would be ass enough that they're hilarious whilst drunk and agonizingly stupid (lovingly) whilst sober.
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Haymitch's games paired with Little Man, What Now? By Morrissey
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Padmé has top tier self control in ROTS I would have fucked this man every day of my LIFE there would be no "not here"
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A snippet of Natasha O'Keeffes S6 interview. Knight telling her at the start of S2 Lizzie will be there till the very end
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now @mirixmoya released this awesome new fic and i’m screaming because baby haymitch and after stalking her pinterest for it this is him in my brain. and the new chapter itched my brain so well and it’s him. HE punched the peace keeper AHDGANJAHSBBS
baby haymitch my love. also short hair haymitch my love.
i think this is probs like the year after his games, before the heavy drinking and becoming a hermit.
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“You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know,” Haymitch says.
The girl arrives at his door, weighed down with a basket and heads straight for the table. “Peeta will be over in a bit. He’s fielding a call from Effie,” she says, answering his unasked question.
They’re always bringing food by; the girl, like a cat, dropping dead things at his door, and the boy, like a retriever, stopping daily with smiles and bread. But a couple days a week, they’ll both show up with a meal and they’ll all eat together.
Apparently it’s one of those days.
“May be a while. He’s got a lot of groveling to do to cover all of our asses,” she looks at him meaningfully.
He knew he’d forgotten something. It’s been.. three months? He guesses, since he last spoke to Trinket. Not long enough in his opinion. The kid’s call should buy him another three if he’s lucky. He’ll have to think of a way to thank the boy.
She must be thinking something similar of herself because she says, “I know I know; I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve him.”
It’s said in jest, but he can tell she’s repeating something said of her before. Something she believes despite her levity. It irkes him, “Who said that?”
“You. After the Quarter Quell announcement.”
He curses under his breath, “really?”
“At this very table,” She knocks on the wood.
It does sound like something he’d say, “Why is it that you remember that shit and not the good advice?”
She shrugs, “I remember that stuff too. Just sometimes I ignore it.”
He grunts and she goes back to unloading her basket. He could leave it there, but it doesn’t sit right. He knows he has plenty to regret that he doesn’t remember, but now that he know… “I didn’t mean it.”
She turns toward him, looking skeptical.
“Alright, maybe at the time I thought I believed it,” he clears his throat, “but i was wrong.”
She looks away, but not before he sees her guard drop. It’s too much, too raw, so he adds, “He’s just as big of a pain in the ass as you are. You deserve each other.”
She rolls her eyes but she’s biting back a smile, “yeah, well I guess that means you deserve us too.”
Now it’s his turn to look away.
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