HAIR â N. RIKI
riki has a few things to say about your hair. ft. non-idol!riki x gn!reader genre! one-shot fluff
âyour hair is so long.â riki remarks, his fingers delicately toying with the stray strands that spill on his bedsheets.
you frown, uncertain whether his comment was intended as a compliment or an insult to the length of your hair. his deadpan, monotone delivery makes it challenging to decipher his intentions. something you often struggled to grasp throughout the entirety of your friendship.
âdo you not like it?â you ask, a hint of sadness in your tone.
riki shoots upright in bed, panicking when he realizes that the lack of ethos behind his words led him astray from what he intended to do: compliment you.
ân-no! itâ thatâs n-not what i meantâŚâ he sputters, failing to properly console you of his mistake. if thereâs one thing rikiâs good at, itâs acting a fool when it comes to being around you.
âsorryâŚâ he murmurs under his breath.
you shuffle against the sheets to sit up, hugging your knees close to your chest as you look to your best friend with a pout. the pitiful expression on your face is akin to a kicked puppy. riki finds himself at war with his mind to keep it from wandering into dangerous territory, areas within the deepest parts of his brain that he refuses to unlock or acknowledge.
but itâs extremely difficult to not lean in and do something about those lips of yours that are calling to him.
his gaze shifts to your hair, slightly tousled from the past hour of lounging in his bedroom together. he reaches forward to brush the loose strands into place while also tucking pieces behind your ear.
âi like your hair the way it is, actually.â he says softly, his voice an octave lower in your ear that it sends a shiver down your spine.
you concentrate on drowning out the sound of your erratic heartbeat, striving to mask the crimson hue creeping across your cheeks under rikiâs intense stare fixed upon your face.
âeven if it was purple?â you meekly ask, trying to lighten the tension with playful banter.
riki chuckles and nods his head, âeven if it was purpleâŚâ
âwhat if i had a mullet?â
he makes a face before agreeing, âsure, why not.â riki shrugs.
âoooh! what about pink?â you giggle, imagining the myriad haircuts and colors of the rainbow your hair could sport.
âpink is fine, too.â riki laughs.
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my name. | nishimura riki
PAIRING ⸠nishimura riki! x reader
GENRE ⸠detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN
WC ⸠15.6k
SUMMARY ⸠you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now youâre stuck in an alternate universe and technically, youâre supposed to be dead.Â
AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.
AN/NOTES ⸠mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...
wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading â¤ď¸
a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.
you squint but for some reason, you still canât make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a personâa blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he mustâve gone to your school âŚwas he your classmate?Â
you frown. youâve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his-Â
the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open. you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default.Â
it wasnât a nice napâjust one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete.Â
you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside.Â
it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rainâpart of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in classâand you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible.Â
you werenât sure why, but it wasnât just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn.Â
not to forget the fact that you didnât have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you.Â
you couldnât put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason⌠you didnât belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world.Â
that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today.Â
you shrugged it off though. those âphasesâ werenât uncommon, right?Â
though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, âhey.â
it doesnât take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you.Â
âyou okay, y/n?âÂ
you debate internally, reminding yourself that theyâre your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. youâre allowed to do that. even more so, arenât you supposed to do that?Â
but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, âitâs nothing. itâs just been a weird day, you know?â
they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, âyeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. weâll see you tomorrow, okay?â
âbe careful on the way back! the rain doesnât look like itâs stopping soon.â she calls out before they continue, leaving you behindâstill as soaked as ever.Â
you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you couldâve cared less.Â
the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didnât have to be in this situation anymore.Â
the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet âexcuse meâsâ to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen.Â
after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train. although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere.Â
you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. thatâs fineâyou end up drifting off anyway.Â
you donât know how long itâs been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once.Â
so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you donât pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown,Â
wait a second-
something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?
youâre knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fallâand obviously, your butt as well.Â
you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the⌠boy in front of you.Â
you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your headâ
have you met before?
you donât voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boyâas far as you can tell, he looks around your ageâ simply stares at you. heâs in a strikingly similar uniform.Â
a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.
âitâs rude to stare, you know.â you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings.Â
his only response is a blink. Â
it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment.Â
you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. âhello? did you hear me?â you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it.Â
ây-youâre not supposed to be here.â he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, âwhat do you mean? this is my stopâŚâÂ
you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasnât your stop.Â
that wouldnât have been a huge issue- if it wasnât for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances. Â
âno!â he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes.Â
âyouâreâŚ. youâre supposed to be dead.â
your mouth drops open.Â
âwhat a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..â you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands.Â
the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively.Â
âyouâre dead. you died. i swear-â
you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, âi dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. iâm not dead. iâm literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. iâm-âÂ
again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away.Â
the strange boy shakes his head. âthereâs no way. i know exactly who you look like.â
his next words make your blood run cold.Â
âyouâre exactly like y/n y/l/nâwho died a week ago.â he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists.Â
âwho are you? and why do you look just-?â
âbecause thatâs who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.â Â
you hold up a hand, you didnât have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he mustâve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction.Â
it just seemed too real, like he couldnât have been that good at acting.Â
he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like heâs just trying to reassure himself. youâre about to protest, so utterly confused at whatâs happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that youâre dead. none of it makes sense.Â
his face looks pale and grim, and youâre sure yours look exactly the same. âyou canât be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.âÂ
âi will scream like a little girl for help if you donât let me go at this-â
âp-please. this isnât a joke. you canât be here. we need to get out of hereâwhere everyone canât see you.âÂ
before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off.Â
you can call me niki, his words echo in your head.Â
his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panicâto which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucinationâ
you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision.Â
all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid youâve never seen before wouldnât let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong.Â
you donât know how to describe it. it was right but⌠at the same time, it wasnât.Â
to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores werenât.Â
and the bus stopâthe bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was.Â
things werenât right and you had no idea what was going on.Â
following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe⌠youâre just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasnât raining anymore either, which wouldâve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldnâtâno, it couldnât have dried up that fast.Â
It wasnât physically possible.Â
you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didnât live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died.Â
nikiâor whoeverâleads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.
niki seems surprised, but he doesnât say anything, only taking the seat across from you.Â
âokay.â you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes.Â
âif whatever bs youâre spewing is true, explain.â
he raises his eyebrows.Â
âme? explain?âÂ
you nod and he scoffs, âi think youâre the one who should be explaining. after all, youâre the one thatâs supposed to be dead-â
âiâm not dead.â you grit out, rolling your eyes.Â
âokay, okay,â he raises his hands in surrender, âbut you still need to talk.â
you sigh, rubbing your temples.Â
âwhat do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-â
he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore.Â
â-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?â you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you.Â
the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.
his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. âsorry. that was bothering me.âÂ
you exhale, glaring at him. âare you serious?â
âyeah. are you?âÂ
âno,â you deadpan, âiâm a ghost and iâm haunting you. of course iâm being serious!âÂ
he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, âiâm y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now weâre at the library that doesnât open on thursdays. Â
you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform.Â
âand by the looks of it, we go to the same school.â
his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, âbut iâve never seen you before at school. how do i know that youâre not some imposter? that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?â
he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.
âobviously not, because thatâs dumb.âÂ
you scoff.Â
âi live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-âÂ
he glances at you and you tense, Â
â-kid like you? youâre the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, itâs like you appeared out of nowhere,â he counters.Â
you place your palms flat on the table, âokay, itâs obvious we arenât getting anywhere. we both donât have answers and weâre not even close to one. all i know is that iâm alive,â you shoot him another look, âand that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?â
thereâs a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. âi already told you, you canât be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.âÂ
you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around?Â
he grumbles something along the lines of- âdonât want to be seen walking around with a dead person.âÂ
the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place.  except, you know exactly where heâs taking you. because itâs the same neighborhood you live in.Â
âwait,â you call out, âthis is where i live.â you point to your house, and niki grimaces.Â
âi know. there were police here for days.âÂ
you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when?Â
you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened?Â
âcome on,â niki calls out and you move to catch up. youâre starting to think niki may be telling the truth.Â
soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if youâve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away.Â
âthis is my house,â he tilts his head while opening the door.Â
you like the fact that itâs messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books.Â
you pause, âyearbooks?â
he nods, âyeah, our schoolâs.âÂ
strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home.Â
but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this yearâs yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page.Â
âthatâs me,â he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.
âhuh. so we are in the same year. but iâve never seen you in my yearbookâor at school before. i swear i wouldâve seen you at least once before...âÂ
you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name,Â
nishâ
he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones-Â
ones that youâve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you.Â
just like niki. you were actually speechless.Â
eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches.Â
âno wayââÂ
ââand thereâs you.âÂ
it is you. you can confirm, itâs a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but⌠itâs not you.Â
almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo.Â
according to niki, this you is dead?Â
you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on?Â
the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. âi might be tripping, but have you ever heard of⌠alternate realities?âÂ
you shake your head firmly, âdonât even get me started on that-â
he cuts you off, âi know, i know. but just hear me out.âÂ
you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer,Â
âwouldnât it make sense? thereâs really no other explanation. maybe itâs because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how youâre alive right nowâwhen in this world, youâre dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelinesâthe butterfly effect and stuff like that.â
you donât know what to say.Â
could it actually be?
what other explanation could there be?Â
âplease say something,â niki mumbles and you release a breath you didnât even know you were holding.Â
âokay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did iââÂ
you do air quotations,Â
ââswitch dimensions to another world?âÂ
niki shrugs, âno idea.â
he scratches his head, âitâs weird to think about but i mean, maybe thereâs a reason why you came here.â
his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, âyou know, the timingâs a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.â
you clear your throat, âletâs not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?âÂ
âwhat?âÂ
you glance at him questioningly, âwhat?â
niki raises an eyebrow. âwhatâs there to focus on? you died.â
you donât have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath.Â
âshouldnât we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?â
you roll your eyes, âsure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i donât make the same dumb mistake back home.âÂ
â-if you ever get home,â he corrects and you huff.
âwhatever, just tell me. we donât even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.âÂ
âokay,â niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation.Â
âwell, it actually happened last thursday.â
you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up?Â
âat school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we donât have any exact answers. but from what Iâve heard,â he gives you a cautious glance,Â
âthe police are about ready to call it a suicide.âÂ
at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise.Â
at first it doesnât hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in.Â
you?Â
a suicide at school?Â
what about your family, your friends-
âno,â you whisper, shaking your head.  âi⌠i would never-â
you slam your hands on the table, âi know myself. i would never do that.â
his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. âiâm really sorry⌠thatâs the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everythingâs still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.âÂ
unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not. Â
that niki really didnât know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-
was just a stranger to him.Â
yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesnât know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits.Â
itâs only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression.Â
âniki,â you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.
âare you sure that i-i did it?â
you canât bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs,Â
âno. no oneâs sure. but from what iâve heard, the police havenât found any other motives so⌠a suicide seemed most likely.â the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got.Â
your face hardens.Â
âso thereâs no proof? the police arenât doing their freaking job and investigating?âÂ
his eyes widenâsurprised at your sudden outburstâand you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.
âdid i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?âÂ
something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.
even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, âiâm sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really donât knowâŚâ
despite the awkward look on nikiâs face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you.Â
you bite your bottom lip. âi-i have to get to my house.â
he stiffens, âwhat?âÂ
you stare at him, eyes sharp, âif no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.âÂ
you need to. for yourself.Â
niki scoots closer, ây/n, you canât just-â
âi know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,â you rub your face in frustration, âsomething doesnât add up. i have to check. itâs like i can feel it deep within me.â
he sits there wordlessly. when you donât get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, âw-where are you going?â
you cross your arms, âwithout or without you, iâm going to my house.âÂ
he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. âjust how stubborn are you?â he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him.Â
âthanks for the help i guess,â you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the doorÂ
âwait! youâre being serious?!âÂ
his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, âyeah. do you need something?â
âno, but you doâ a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.â he clasps his hands together behind his back.
you shrug. âokay, and? iâll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. iâm not even supposed to be alive.â
he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.
âidiot. iâm trying to say that iâll help you. i-i want to help you.â
âi didnât ask,â you raise your hands in mock surrender. Â annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.
âsure, but i know plenty of things you donât. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?â
âyou wish you did,â you retort, yet you canât help the small smile that grows on your face, âbut⌠i would appreciate it. just be grateful that iâm accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.âÂ
niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe.Â
âwhatever you say,â he holds out a hand,Â
âmiss imposter.âÂ
you take it gladly, harshly. âdonât call me that-â
âmy name is y/n y/l/n.âÂ
you spin around in nikiâs chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your âvisit.âÂ
to which you almost punched him.Â
but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful.Â
âiâll grab extra blankets and pillows. and iâll sneak you food and whatever you need.âÂ
âwhat about clothes and toiletries?â
he yawns, âeasy. iâll steal some from my sisters.âÂ
you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here.Â
a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation.Â
âso basically, iâm like a secret pet youâre hiding from your parents?âÂ
âtechnically⌠yes,â niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.
âbut i like to think that youâre like eleven. youâre differentâyouâre special, like her.â
you hold back a laugh at the words.Â
clearing your throat, you try to play it off. âfrom stranger things? your world has that show too?â he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle.Â
âof course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didnât have stranger things?âÂ
âapparently a horrible one,â you snort.Â
after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation.Â
âso youâre saying the police taped off my house for further examination?â
âuh, yeah? thatâs how it works?â he raises a brow.Â
you stuck your tongue out at him, âokay, smartass. then how do we get in?âÂ
âclearly, thereâs only one way: sneak in.âÂ
âi donât think this is a good idea?â niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him.Â
the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldnât be deemed as patient of any sort.Â
niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard.Â
obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents werenât home judging by the darkness.  you wondered if they were staying with other family.Â
or were they at work? so soon after your death?Â
you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.
the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now. Â
you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you donât fallÂ
you glance down at niki.Â
âcan you make it?â
he scoffs, Â
âeasy.âÂ
it was easyâ easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point.Â
you were sort of scared the tree wasnât going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down.Â
you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,âeasy, huh?â
âyeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we donât have all day, grandma.â
âdonât call me that,â you mutter while stretching out towards your window.
nikiâs eyes widen.Â
âbe careful, y/n.âÂ
âi got it,â you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion.Â
without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you donât notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didnât want another dead you.Â
your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt youâre able to push the window open.Â
âyou got it?âÂ
âyeah,â you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window.Â
finally, you can breathe.Â
itâs the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didnât mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the policeâs investigation.Â
after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you werenât not sure what you were expecting. this was the other youâs room.Â
all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you.Â
a part of you feels like youâre invading someoneâs privacy. but then you realize that itâs literally your own privacy that youâre invading, with the addition of niki. you actually canât believe the absurdity of the situation.Â
at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room.  not what you expected for yourself, but thereâs not much you can see. you turn to niki,
âthereâs no shot weâll get caught right?â
he gives you another sympathetic look, âweâll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldnât be them catching us.â
âoh.â
the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. âguess we should look around?â
he nods and begins to snoop around. Â
âwait,â you call out hesitantly.Â
niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.
âitâs still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.âÂ
he rolls his eyes. âyeah. i got it.âÂ
you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more. Â
youâre appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-
âten days to love,â you voice aloud with disgust written across your face.Â
you werenât one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading? Â
niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen-Â
wait a second,Â
your closet with clothes? possibly includingâŚ. more personal things?Â
you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasnât already seen something that he shouldnât.Â
âdonât!âÂ
his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesnât move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view.Â
âyou didnât see anything, right?â you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows.Â
âno? am i not supposed-â
âno reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.â
you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for nikiâs eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.
he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile.Â
âyou can proceed!âÂ
he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didnât seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one.Â
you pull outâŚÂ
a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room?Â
and even more so, why was it hidden?Â
niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open.Â
âa box of chocolates?âÂ
he scoffs, âyeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.â
âitâs not even the good brand,â you mutter.Â
niki laughs, âmaybe you had secret admirers from school?â suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance.Â
âwhat makes you say that? you sure you werenât one of them?âÂ
he side eyes you, âtrust me, you wouldnât catch me within five feet of you at school.â
you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep nikiâs comment in the back of your mind.Â
after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspiciousâÂ
like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasnât your style. but you supposed this worldâs you was just different.Â
just because you werenât particularly into those things didnât mean another you couldnât be.Â
âdid i have a diary? what about my phone?â
niki frowns, âthe police wouldâve taken it. itâs their evidence now.âÂ
you suddenly get an idea, and itâs probably wasnât a good one.Â
âhey, niki?â you call out. he hums in response. Â
âwhat day and time is it, currently?âÂ
âuhâŚâ he checks his watch, âsunday. 8pm. why?â
âwhen does the police station close?â
dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?
luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here. Â
niki scratches his head, âin ten minutes? why are-â
his mouth drops open, âno. no. no.â you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, ây/n, thereâs no way that weâre going to sneak in.â
you dust off your hands, âiâm all ears for any other ideas you have.â
you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. âwell⌠i might have a way.â
you grin. âonwards, then.â
âwait, so how did you manage to get access again?â
he coughs, âmy friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief⌠so i may have called in for a favor.â
âhe managed to sneak in with his dadâs keys and get the files to my case?â you finish.
he nods.Â
âillegally?â
he nods again.
you tap your chin, âwould we get arrested if we got caught?âÂ
he shrugs, âprobably.â
âgood thing iâm not from this world.â
perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwonâs house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.
âdo you want to open it?â to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft.Â
you gulp, âi guess i should.â
you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didnât show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead.Â
you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.
âiâm fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?â
âare you sure?â
âyes.â he doesnât protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice.Â
niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.
âhold on a sec,â he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.
âwe should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possibleâwe donât want them noticing that your stuff is missing.â
you curse, âthatâs right. we canât risk taking anything.âÂ
âthen what?âÂ
you pinch your nose bridge, âwe snap pictures and hope itâs good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.âÂ
you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-
it wasnât finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-
you squint.
the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you canât make out whoâs name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-
your thoughts are interrupted by niki.Â
ây/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk weâre at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.â
he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone.Â
but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.
âthe phoneâs dead.â you sigh again and niki bites his lip.
âmaybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,â he suggests
you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day.Â
âthatâs right, you have school tomorrow?â
he groans, âyeah. i guess youâll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while iâm at school, so you donât have to worry.â
you nod, âokay.â
it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another worldâin a strangerâs room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead.Â
were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops?Â
more like, if anyone cared?Â
while you get ready for bed in nikiâs bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror.Â
yes, you affirm, youâre alive.Â
youâre staring back at yourself, dressed in one of nikiâs oversized shirts and basketball shorts.Â
but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink.Â
everythingâs fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. youâre okay. youâre breathing and-
a knock on the door makes you jump.
ây/n? everything okay?â nikiâs voice sounds out hesitantly, âit seemed like you were taking a while so-â
the door swings open.
you stand there, face emotionless. he doesnât say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it wonât seem to go away.
âgoodnight, niki.âÂ
you slowly walk over to the temporary bed heâs set up on the floor for you. he blinks,Â
ânight, y/n.âÂ
itâs surprisingly comfortable, or maybe youâre just so exhausted you donât seem to care or question anything anymore.Â
you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights.Â
in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.
you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.
âniki?â you say quietly.
another shuffle.Â
âyeah?â
âthis may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?â
thereâs a pause.Â
âabout you?â
âyeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? letâs say,â you swallow, âany guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?â
niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure.
ây/n, what are you trying to say?â
you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter.Â
ânevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and donât worry about waking me up. you wonât be able to.â
âwasnât planning on it,â he snorts.Â
you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face.Â
the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when itâs supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you.Â
especially about what you said.
niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.
he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused.Â
why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didnât get it.Â
meanwhile, you stayed at his home.
thinking.Â
thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead.Â
you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously.Â
you donât even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasnât niki.Â
you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.
however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, âniki!â
he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. âwhatâs wrong?â
you laugh awkwardly, ânothing! nothing at all!âÂ
he gives you an unconvinced look but doesnât press further.Â
âyou mustâve been bored without me.âÂ
that was the niki youâve come to know (in the span of a day or so). sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, âsure.âÂ
but you knew he was right and he knew it too.Â
âi spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldnât find much else,â you frown.Â
âsame here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usualâŚâÂ
âi mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,â he pauses, âleft. but nothing out of the ordinary.âÂ
you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. âi talked to jungwon and he said heâs going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.âÂ
you nod, âthatâs good.âÂ
âbut, donât you have work to do? what about your family?â
you realized you didnât see or even hear of them yesterday.Â
âoh, they usually stay late at the dance academyâme included. but my grades havenât been good recently, so theyâve been forcing me to go to home and studyâŚâ
you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look.Â
âyou know, while weâre waiting, iâm not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?âÂ
niki rolls his eyes, âthanks, but no thanks. i donât need another person on my back about my grades.âÂ
instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof.Â
âdonât worry, iâll manage. letâs just talk about our next step.Â
âstep? as in, my case?
âyeah,â his eyes glint, âi have an idea.â
you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were.Â
âokayâshoot.â
what was the worse thing he could suggest?
âwe should sneak you into school-â
your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. âexcuse me? werenât you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?âÂ
niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did.Â
âhear me out firstâwe sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. thatâs better than waiting for jungwon.â
âdonât you think the police would have already looked through my locker?Â
âwell, he looks around nervously, âas far as iâve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didnât care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.âÂ
you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didnât mean you were going to be stupid about it.
âfine.âÂ
niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,
âhow in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?
he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.
âi didnât miss a whole chem lecture for nothingââÂ
confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about?Â
âwho said we had to know the combination?â he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket.Â
you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.
you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly.Â
âyouâre actually being smart...âÂ
his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation.Â
you stand up straight again, âhow did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?âÂ
he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at schoolâŚ
âitâs a secret. donât worry about it.âÂ
âyou sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?â you squint accusingly.Â
niki chokes on his spit, âhow in the world did you know?âÂ
you falter. âhuh? it isnât?âÂ
he clears his throat, âanyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.âÂ
you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, âusually iâm up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you arenât surprised.
âtomorrow night,â he says shortly after. âiâve got a planâyou just have to trust me.â
turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice.Â
niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger.Â
meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair.Â
you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him.Â
on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for nikiâs quick reflexes.
he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms.Â
instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart.Â
after a couple of secondsâthat felt like foreverâ niki lets you go with a shake of his head.Â
âmy god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please donât ever do that again.âÂ
please donât ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort.Â
you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. donât get distracted, you remind yourself. âyeah-thanks. letâs uh, just hurry.â
you donât have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways.Â
âhow do you know which oneâs my locker? i thought you said we didnât really know each other?â you eye him suspiciously.
he scoffs, âdonât get too excited. mineâs just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.âÂ
he hands you the keys and you gratefully acceptâyour hands slightly trembling. you didnât know what to expect.Â
niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.
with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. itâsâŚ. normal?Â
normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends.Â
on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive?Â
âthereâs no way,â you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes.Â
âwhat?â niki starts to panic, âwhat is it?âÂ
âam i actually loaded in this world?âÂ
niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. âjesus, you scared me. i mean, you didnât seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiarâŚâÂ
you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know.Â
âhow much are you talking?âÂ
he taps his foot on the floor, âwell, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since itâs a seasonal limited edition, so itâs somewhere in the thousands-â
you truly forgot how rich nikiâs family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed.Â
â-whoever gave that to you mustâve really cared.âÂ
you frown, âsure⌠or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?âÂ
heâs shoots you an amused look, âyou wanted to get yourself the valentine dayâs collection necklace?Â
âwhat?âÂ
you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, âare you implying what i think you are?Â
âyes?â he responds with a raised eyebrow, âsomeone mustâve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?âÂ
then niki pokes your side playfully, â-or a secret admirer?âÂ
you donât answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, âbut where is it? itâs so valuable iâm certain we wouldâve seen it in the policeâs evidenceâŚâÂ
suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. thatâs when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide. panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes youâ
straight into the locker.Â
your own locker.Â
you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonderâcould this be considered a crime?Â
in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of nikiâs silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise.Â
no way. park sunghoon was in this world too?Â
you hold your breath when you hear him call out, âis someone there?âÂ
really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out.Â
âsorry. that was me, pres.âÂ
it was nikiâs voice.Â
you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon.Â
âi was staying back to study and catch up on workâyou know already,â he adds hastily.Â
sunghoon nods coolly, âi was just checking. making sure everythingâs good before leaving.âÂ
niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, âi promise to clean up after iâm done. no need to worry, class president.âÂ
âalright, see you later.âÂ
you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave.Â
but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker.Â
your heart rate picks up. did he notice you?Â
however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back.Â
you frownâwhat was that?Â
after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms.Â
âthat was the only thing i could think of in the moment!â he immediately defends himself.Â
âseriously? i couldâve-like-â you trail off and niki smirks.
âsee? nothing bad wouldâve happened.â
âdoesnât change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. itâs not even mine, for crying out loud.âÂ
âwhatever. just be glad you didnât get caught by park sunghoon, our schoolâs super rich, smart, and handsome-â
âi know him from my world. heâs irrelevant, letâs continue on.â you wave him off.Â
you canât help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and⌠boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed.Â
everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace.Â
you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. âthatâs itâŚâ
one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace?Â
âhey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-theyâre automatic and we didnât bring any flashlights.âÂ
you sigh. next time.Â
it feels like youâve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didnât seem like it.Â
the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to thinkâwith one of nikiâs hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldnât go out much, mainly at night, were nice.Â
tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis.Â
niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven.Â
niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused.Â
he yells as his character dies and you canât hold back your laughter, âyou kinda suck-â
all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door.Â
âbro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-â
the door handle begins to turn.
you and niki share a look of panic.Â
your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath nikiâs bed. you ignore the fact that itâs as dusty as youâd expect for a teenage boyâs room and hold your breath.Â
âmom said dinner is ready. also, whatâs with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.â a girls voiceânikiâs older sister, you presume.Â
ânope. just me.âÂ
you cringe at the fact that nikiâs voice is octaves higher. it wouldnât be that much of a problem if his voice wasnât as deep as it normally was.Â
âit was just probably the video i was playing.âÂ
ââŚsure,â you hear his sisterâs footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her.Â
you let out an exhale of relief.Â
ây/n?â you hear soon after.Â
âunder here.âÂ
you turn to see nikiâs head peeking down underneath the bed.Â
you meet his curious eyes. cute.Â
âjeez.â he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off.Â
âjeez, indeed. who knows what horrors youâve been hiding under there.â
âhey,â niki defends himself, âiâll have you know i am a very clean person and donât-â
âoh really? then whatâs this?â you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it.Â
âhey! havenât you ever heard of privacy?âÂ
he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp.Â
you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he mustâve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours.Â
niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but itâs still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead.Â
is this what the movies mean when your heart⌠skips a beat?Â
niki snaps out of his trance, âs-sorry,â he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere.Â
âso, uh, i had an idea.â
âyeah? whatâs up?â
âi was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.â
âcome on,â you take nikiâs hand. it was habitual by this point.Â
âyou got the charger, right?â
niki nods, taking it out of his pocket.Â
it was risky asking nikiâs friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end.Â
when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing.Â
âthanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dadâs back like that.âÂ
âitâs fine,â niki shrugs, âi promised to buy him lunch for the next week.âÂ
you snort as you take out âyourâ phone and plug it into the charger.Â
âokay. now we wait.âÂ
niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. âis there something wrong?â
he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, ânothing, nothing.â
you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id.Â
as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth.Â
âwhat?â niki jumps up, âwhat did you find?â
you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and thatâs when niki sees it.Â
âoh my god.âÂ
âdonât even-â
âi was secretly dating park sunghoon?!â
you cup a hand over your mouth. âi think iâm gonna be sick.âÂ
niki scoffs, taken aback. âb-but how? you- and him-?â
you rub a hand over your face. âdonât ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering⌠i just didnât expect it to be him.âÂ
niki notices the sour expression on your face.Â
âoh. you donât like him?â
you shake your head vehemently, âbro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.â
you think about your worldâs sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him.Â
besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words.Â
âgood to know.âÂ
âi wish i didnât,â you sigh.
but that was besides the point. you still didnât know how it all added up. did sunghoonâunfortunately, your boyfriend in this worldâhave anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace?Â
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldnât rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didnât believe it. you couldnât rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind.Â
âso, now what?â niki watches you carefully.Â
âyouâve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?â
âyeah,â he cocks an eyebrow, âwhy?â
âwell, iâve got a task for you.âÂ
niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most heâs ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public.Â
he had nothing against themânothing against your choice of friendsâbut he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldnât put his finger on it, but he just didnât vibe with them.Â
and yet here he was, talking to your âfriendsâ because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you.Â
danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. âwhy are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?â
âplease,â he sighs in exasperation, âi just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.â
haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. âthereâs no one. canât you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.âÂ
she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielleâs ears.Â
niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it.Â
you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing.Â
everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this worldâs you suddenly died.Â
the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhereâin the policeâs hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone.Â
you couldnât even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness.Â
you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost donât realize how long itâs been until you hear a faint call of your name.Â
ây/n? y/n, whatâs wrong?â niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side.Â
his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.Â
what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion.Â
âniki⌠i donât think i can do this anymore,â your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind.Â
âiâm trying my hardest, but itâs so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.â as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace.Â
âi want to go home,â you whisper in an small voice.Â
his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kidâyou looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world.Â
he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again.Â
niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep.Â
you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although youâve basically never drank alcohol before.Â
somehow, youâre not sure exactly when, you ended up in nikiâs bed. as soon as youâre able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table.Â
11 am. niki must be at school still, you note.Â
you wonder what heâs up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass?Â
niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay.Â
when he knocks on his own bedroom door and thereâs no response, he frowns. all thereâs left is a pink sticky note on his desk.Â
went out for fresh air. donât worry and donât look for me.Â
niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud.Â
heâs breathless and exhausted by the time heâs arrived back home. niki knows his family wonât be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day.Â
heâs scared.Â
niki hasnât felt this feeling in a long timeâhe can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure.Â
he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.
tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected.Â
you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall.Â
you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.
niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged.Â
then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. âi wasnât going to do it.âÂ
he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. âokay.âÂ
you donât see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, âyou donât have to say anything.â
âokay,â niki repeats.Â
itâs not said in a sarcastic way. itâs not sad, either. itâs just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that nikiâs presence is here by your side.
suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain.Â
the rain doesnât stop.Â
and niki doesnât stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly.Â
âwhere are we going?â you ask breathlessly.Â
âout. like most people our age. weâre still kids.âÂ
âwow, i had no idea,â you mutter sarcastically.Â
he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self.Â
âyou need a break. youâve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.â
âbut-â
âcome on,â he leads you on, ârelax. itâll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.âÂ
youâre hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. âwhat if someone sees me? what if they-â
niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. âweâre here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?â
a challenge was a challenge.Â
you laugh at nikiâs rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun.Â
âjust so you know, i technically won.âÂ
you playfully shove him, âin your dreams. youâre just saying that because you donât want to-â
you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified.Â
niki almost cackles, âi guess thatâs a sign.â
âitâs not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,â you pout.Â
âwhat do you want to eat?â
âanything. iâm serious.âÂ
niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food.Â
âeat any faster, and youâll make a new record.â
you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly.Â
âthereâs one last thing i wanted to do,â he mumbles while avoiding your gaze.Â
âhowâs this one?â
you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on nikiâs head.
âi think this one fits you more.â
as he grumbles, you laugh.Â
âfine, but i get to choose yours.âÂ
he ends up picking a frog headband for youâwhich you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, âyou remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.â
you splutter, âbut that means-â
âyes. iâm the princess.â
âobviously,â he adds.Â
in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow.Â
âiâve never done this before, soâŚ"
instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. youâre frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes.Â
âwhat now?â
niki glances at the screen, âwe still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?â
youâre at a loss for words.Â
niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. âhow about a heart pose?â
âo-okay.â
you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, youâve never laughed harder. youâve never been so happy in your life with someone else. Â
âhey, this photo came out good!â
âbut what happened to the first one?â
you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling nikiâs breath on your cheek.Â
it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way.Â
it was something you had never felt before.Â
â..-y/n?â
âhuh?â you snap out of your trance.
âi said, you can keep this copy.âÂ
you look at the pictures and then at niki. âwhat? no, itâs fine-â
âi said keep it,â he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay.Â
you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked goodâŚtogether. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off.Â
on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with nikiâs.
âwhen we arrive, iâll let you in through the back, just to be safe.â
âwhatever you say, mr. responsible.âÂ
he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.
that night was the first night youâve felt content. almost like you could stay hereâlike you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events.Â
âniki?â
you hear his bed shift. âyeah?â
âi just wanted to say thanks. for everything. youâve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. iâm grateful for everything. i donât know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.â
âwhatâs with the sudden sappiness?â his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, âbut yeah, of course.â
âi dunno, i guess iâm just not used to this type of treatment back home.â
âwhat? what do you mean?âÂ
even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you.Â
âi mean, iâm usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, theyâre nice and allâŚâ
âbut you don���t feel a true connection?â he finishes, and you roll over.
âyeah. i donât really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?â
niki grimaces.Â
âuh, yeah. i donât know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?â
ânope. what are they like?âÂ
he shifts again, and the bed creaks. âyou see, i donât really talk to your friend group. itâs nothing personal, i just donât want to associate with them.â
âdang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.âÂ
you hadnât thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps.Â
now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking.Â
your specialty.Â
niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesnât hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart.Â
as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielleâs name. it doesnât take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didnât come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed.Â
and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photoâa picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers.Â
thatâs your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielleâs arm. youâre sure of it.Â
you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off nikiâs phone as soon as you hear the door turn.Â
âhey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..â
you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. âhuh? no. what are you talking about?â
âwhat were you doing on my phone?â
you look away sheepishly, âtrying to see if i could call my mom?â maybe nikiâs acting skills were rubbing off on you.Â
âoh, and?âÂ
you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face.Â
that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear nikiâs soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldnât, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone.Â
you feel like youâre on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-
it was so close.
the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night.Â
he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, âw-uh, w-what was that.. for..?â
you shrug, âiâm just proud of you for getting your grades up. itâs your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?âÂ
he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.
and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.
it was time to confront the truth.
you canât believe youâre sneaking into through the school boyâs bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielleâs locker. the same one from the photo she posted.Â
this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it.Â
you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you donât find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor.Â
you huff, taking it and opening it up. itâs a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasnât just an ordinary pictureâthere was a big, red âXâ scribbled over your face, with the words âfinally doneâ written next to it.Â
and hearts next to sunghoonâs face.Â
horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth.Â
during a break at the dance studio, niki doesnât expect to open his instagram app and see danielleâs instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up?Â
just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts.Â
and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. itâs so strikingly familiar.Â
he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesnât expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops.Â
you sit on the floor next to the lockers with your head buried on top of your knees. youâre sure you could get caught, but you donât care.Â
the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket.Â
you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you havenât eaten or drank anything the whole day. youâre not sure how long itâs been.Â
ây/n!âÂ
great, now you were hearing things as well?Â
furious footsteps stomp towards you.
âwhy did you leave without telling me? you couldâve gotten caught-it couldâve been dangerous?!â
ân-niki?â your eyes widen.Â
before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet.Â
âwhy would you come to school without me?â
for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, âwhat? like i canât take care of myself?âÂ
he groans, âthatâs besides the point! if someone saw youââ
âi donât care! so why do you care soââ
a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. âthe custodian comes on weekends to clean.â
you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction.Â
he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you donât stop until youâre inside the.. natatorium?Â
âwhy are we-â
âthere are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you wouldâve known that.â
after he speaks, thereâs an awkward silence.Â
niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. âwell, are you gonna tell me?â
you feel the frustration flow through your veins, âand what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i canât take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who canât go anywhere or do anything? iâm sick of it all!âÂ
âyou donât understand,â his voice raises, and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him.Â
âyouâre right, i donât. i donât understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!â
at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down.Â
âi do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!â he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter.Â
you donât know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always caredâmore than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life,Â
you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you.Â
and this was the first time you felt wanted.Â
you donât know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him.Â
when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think heâs gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.
without a second thought, niki pushes you.Â
he does it lightly, although itâs still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwardsâ
straight into the pool.Â
your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then thereâs a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later.Â
he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago.Â
you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually canât breathe anymore and you have to smack nikiâs arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air.Â
after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, nikiâs raspy voice fills the air.Â
âat least heâs gone. iâve always wanted to do that.â
you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. âseriously? after we got almost got caught? we couldâve drowned!â Â
you splash him again, âalso, you couldâve given me a heads up!â
he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. âand whereâs the fun in that?â
you shake your head in amazement, âyouâre actually an idiot. i canât believe you, niki.âÂ
âan idiot who saved us from getting caught.â
after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind canât help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part.Â
growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of nikiâs hands running through your hair, you almost donât hear him when he says, âall done.â
you thank him and he looks around awkwardly.Â
âwhat is it?â you squint at him.Â
âwell, i wanted to apologize. i didnât mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didnât tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?â
you soften, eyes falling to the floor.Â
âiâm so sorry, niki. i didnât mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone elseâs help.âÂ
you exhale, âthe reason i left today was for thisââ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can.Â
nikiâs hands fall to his side. âoh god.â
âit was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.â
âw-what? but how?â
you shake your head. he goes to hug you.Â
you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you wonât waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face.Â
âyou have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.âÂ
niki stares at you deeply, âare you sure? because if you are, i wonât stop.â
he wonders why you say you and not we.
at that, you falter.Â
âno. i never be sure because she isâwas my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.âÂ
nikiâs hold around you tightens, âand what about you?â
you smile, albeit sadly. âyou know i canât stay here, hiding away forever. i donât belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.âÂ
it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you donât belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home.Â
âitâs not something i can explain, but i know it,â you look at him with determined eyes.Â
and he looks back at you with pained ones.Â
niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in.Â
the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your schoolâs rooftop. the same place where it all started.
itâs a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway.Â
you didnât tell niki, but you had a good feelingâlike the world was patting you on the back and saying, âyou worked hard.âÂ
the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were.Â
you kiss nikiâs cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears.Â
âthere was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.âÂ
he bites his lip, ây/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.âÂ
if this was a dream, you wouldnât want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world.Â
âwhat will happen when i leave?â you whisper.Â
âhow will you even get back home?â
you shrug, âi donât know how, but i know that i will.â
niki laughs, âthatâs the y/n i know.â
as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky.Â
the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket.Â
you donât recall having bought one, and you donât question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.
while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. âwill we still remember this once you go back to your world?â
your body trembles, âi donât know.â
âthen⌠will i ever see you again?â
you donât want to meet his eyes, because you know youâll cry.Â
yes, you want to say. instead, you say, â i donât know.â
niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you donât even know how you reached your stop already.Â
âthis is it,â he says.Â
but neither of you move.Â
âdonât worry, even if i donât remember you, youâll always be in my heart. weâll meet in your world,â he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces.Â
âdonât forget that thereâs another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.âÂ
you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.
âi promise iâll find you again.âÂ
he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.
crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for nikiâs full name. his real one.Â
you never knew nikiâs name.
and then everything fades into nothing.Â
thatâs the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for youâall for you before you go.Â
then, youâre gone.Â
in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together.Â
all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everydayâeven if you didnât know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldnât help but find cute. you made his days interesting.Â
but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you werenât there anymore.Â
and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, thatâs how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers.Â
you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform.Â
niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now heâs just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second.Â
when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why heâs standing there.Â
he also wonders why it feels like thereâs a piece of his heart missing.Â
after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didnât even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time.Â
when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he canât help but get this sense of peace, like everythingâs resolved.Â
and then heâs free.
epilogue...
you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that.Â
there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldnât remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy.Â
ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, youâve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you canât tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. itâs strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.
even after graduating, it never left you.Â
you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto.Â
âiâm sorry,â you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in.Â
they were familiar, youâve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other. Â
you slowly smile, extending a hand. âi apologize if iâm mistaken, but have we met before?â
he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled.Â
âi-i think you may be mistaken,â he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize.Â
âare you sure?â you quickly introduce yourself, âand you?â
you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldnât help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy. Â
âme?â
he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile.Â
âmy name is nishimura riki.â
first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!
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ă´ CHERRYđ ăą : Lee Heeseung
pairing : pervert!heeseung x virgin!reader
cheeries to pop this semester : Y/N (Heeseung's pick)
Warnings : toxic heeseung, manipulation, coercion, morally gray characters, dub con, infidelity, angst, filthy smut, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, body image issues, body shaming, family issues (it gets heavy), unprotected sex, cum eating, violence, dacryphilia.
Wc : 23k+
a/n : IT'S FINALLY HERE OMG, this is my first full length fic on here and I really put my all into it, please reblog and leave feedbacks, it's really really important for me, I cherish all of your words so much<3
!!!!!!! READ PREVIEW FIRST !!!!!!!!
You're quite literally the most stuck up thing Heeseung has ever laid his eyes on. Itâs the way you stick out like a sore thumb; Your ponytail is meticulously braided, the grandma skirt that you chose to wear cascades down, stopping just beneath your knees in a habitual fashion and your pressed pink silk blouse is impeccably buttoned up to the collar, not one inch of extra skin in sight.
The book clutched tightly against your chest ties your entire look of âaustere sophisticationâ together.
"Microprocessors", the title reads. Pfft. Typical of you. Only you can clutch onto such a demonic book like it is some quality literature. Heeseung nearly fights the urge to scoff.
You're peak virgin demonstration if Heeseungâs ever seen one. Your embodiment of purity is unparalleled, and it feels like a personal attack on his masculinity that he hasn't been able to get you under him yet. Keyword : yet.Â
As he backs you up against the wall, your eyes downcast and your free hand nervously fiddling with the button of your blouse, he thinks you look pathetic. You exude an air of pitiful vulnerability, and it ignites a primal desire within him to consume you entirely.
You're nervous and itâs palpable. He can see it in the way you don't even meet his eyes, refusing to face him at all. The blush adorning the apple of your cheeks is adorable; fuck, you're cute. And Heeseung doesn't like cute things. But something about you makes you the exception to his usual preferences. Your innocence only provokes him more, acting as a catalyst, intensifying his desire to unleash all his darkest fantasies on your inexperienced body. He wants to explore you, peel off your layers and dive in deep like no one has ever done before. This need, this innate urge to taint you; it drives him absolutely feral.
"Did you watch the video I sent you last night?" he asks, unable to stop himself from leaning into your space, taking a deep whiff of your vanilla perfume. You even smell like a virgin. Fresh and untainted. And, oh so tempting.Â
Your head shakes meekly, but the discreet way you bite your lower lip tells him that you did watch it. Fuck yeah. He was high and horny when he recorded that nut video. Pressing send wasnât on his agenda but his head was filled with the sinful thoughts of you and your pretty pink lips, and what better way to testify his desire to you than making you see how he looks in throes of pleasure, chanting your name like a literal dog in heat.
You yelp when his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer to himself. God, you feel good against him.
He nuzzles his nose into your warm cheek while your tiny fist makes contact with his chest "let-let go" you squeak out and it only makes him chuckle in amusement. You're so fucking cute.Â
"you liked it baby? Bet you liked how I stroked my dick nice and slow, just for you" He watches in glee as the red in your cheeks spreads all the way down to your neck. He loves how responsive you are, loves how even the littlest of words make you falter in front of him, like a frail flower caught in a sudden gust of wind. Then you look up, and Heeseung feels his breath leaving his chest, as if the air has been vacuumed from his lungs .Your big, captivating eyes meet his dark ones and he can't help but let his perverse curiosity take over his sick mind. He wonders how your pretty orbs look when you cry.Â
Scratch that. He wants to see you cry.Â
What makes this thought more unsettling is that fact that Heeseung isn't apposed to seeing you cry in pain. As long he gets to see your eyes brimming with tears , he cannot give less of a fuck about their source. He'll fuck you missionary, Heeseung decides, staring deep into your eyes while he slides deep inside your tight little pussy. His cock chubs up at the thought alone.Â
"you c-can''t send me stuff like that, it's inappropriate" you mumble shyly. He snickers and squeezes the fat of your waist, making another pathetic squeak to leave your mouth.Â
"What can I do darling, there's not one appropriate thought in my head when it comes to you. wanna do so many inappropriate things to you, youâll let me wonât you?" He whisper asks, and watches how your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact before you succumb to your shyness, choosing to look down instead.
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"Heeseung, man, itâs time to go " Jake's panicked voice interrupts the filthy words he was about to mutter in your ears again. He turns his head slightly towards the entrance of the hall and sees Jake's brown mop of hair, rustling right outside. Heeseung sighs and turns back to face you.Â
"Looks like we'll have to cut our fun short, you'll wait for my call tonight won't you baby? wanna hear your voice when I cum" He tells you, reveling in the way you only curl into yourself at his words, chewing your bottom lip raw. Fuck he wants to kiss the fuck out of you. But he can't. Not yet. Heeseung is aware of the boundaries heâs been crossing by touching you and sending you intimate stuff without your consent, and he doesn't want to push it, not so fast.He lets go of your body reluctantly and winks at you before making his way out of the hall. Jake's frantic eyes meet his once he's outside, and he rolls his eyes, already sensing an incoming lecture about morals and respect.Â
"I'm never gonna be your guard dog again, it's risky fucking business" Jake spits,brows furrowed in distress. Heeseung merely shakes his head at him "you won't get it" he mumbles as he walks ahead, leaving Jake to run to catch up to him
"Yeah, I don't see the fun in being suspended, but hey, maybe that's just me" Jake replies sarcastically ,making Heeseung give him âtheâ look. "Dramatic much?" He asks, rounding the corner to the cafeteria and making his way inside.Â
"I'm being dramatic? You're the one risking your reputation for some pussy, we can both be in jail for sexual harassment". Heeseung tunes out his friend's baseless rant and plops onto his designated seat. Jake slumps down right next to him.Â
"Man I'm just saying, that if she ever decides to go to the dean about this, your messages will be proof enough to land you in big trouble" Jake explains. âand me too because you drag me into every unethical thing like the good friend that you areâ he adds, sarcasm dripping from his tone, and Heeseung wonders when Jake fell victim to the sassy men apocalypse.Â
But you won't, you love the chase as much as he does, he can see it in your eyes, Heeseung wants to say, but he doesnât, choosing to stare at you instead. His eyes trace the movement of your figure when you enter the cafeteria sometime later. You're still hugging the book to your chest, making your way to the seat that's the farthest away from everyone else, as always. Your skirt makes his hands itch, he wants to know what lies underneath so fucking badly. He wonders if you know the effect that your modesty has on him, wonders if you know that your body being covered from head to toe gives more space for fantasy and yearning than any naked girl ever could.
"Stare any longer and your eyeballs might fall out of their sockets" Sunghoonâs berating voice brings his attention back to the table. He was so lost in you that he didn't notice sunghoon flopping down in the seat right across from him, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it unceremoniously on the table.Â
"She's gonna be the death of me" Heeseung bemoans, running an exasperated hand over his face. Sunghoon laughs and kicks his leg under the table.Â
"She already saw her name in that list that day, she knows what you want, and I don't think she'll let you anywhere near her anytime soon". Jake snorts, masking it with a cough when Heeseung shoots a glare in his direction.
He looks over at you again, finding the way you fiddle with your pen oddly erotic. He thinks he might be losing his goddamn mind, because the way he jerked off right after you angrily threw the âcherries to pop this semesterâ list on his face and stormed off , was shameful to say the least. That was the first time he had seen pure heat and raw emotion in your eyes, and damn you looked sexy as hell when you were angry.Â
"She won't be a virgin by the end of this semester, write it down" Heeseung challenges, meeting Sunghoon's eyes. His friend only shrugs in response and turns around to look at you over his shoulder.Â
"Sure, but by the looks of it, you won't be the one doing the honors" Jake snorts again , but Heeseung doesn't spare him a glance this time, his entire attention pivoted to the raven haired boy making his way over to your table. Heeseung doesn't like the way your eyes light up and you instantly sit up straighter in your seat, fixing your hair as if looking to impress. He scoffs. Loudly. Fucking park jongseong.Â
"Does she really find that dweeb attractive?" He can't help but ask, jaw clenching when he sees you blushing, genuinely blushing and smiling at someone who's not him.Â
"I dunno man, girls love that whole nerdy gentleman thing jay's got going on, some bullshit about being a green flag and all" Sunghoon supplies.
"They're friends too, lover boy's got game" Jake adds, smiling cheekily when Heeseung shoots him a dark look, yet again.Â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You're in a trance like state when you walk back home. With the whole hall incident with Heeseung, and jay approaching you at lunch, today doesnât seem real, as if belonging to a different reality altogether.
What you feel for Heeseung isn't something that you can describe in words. He.. He harasses you. He touches you and grabs you and gropes you, but within limits. His actions lie in a murky territory, perplexing the norms of acceptability, and yet, you only yearn more. does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't to normal people, but in your touch starved brain, it perfectly makes sense. Some days you hate him and some days you crave him, always oscillating between the extremes of loathing and longing. You suppose that's because he's been the only source of thrill amidst the barren landscape of your existence for a very long time. He excites you, he flusters you, but ignites flames beneath your breastbone with mere words. His gaze unnerves you and yet, you can't bring yourself to push him away. Some would call you crazy, and you won't have any convincing arguments to defend yourself.
You have been a little desperate all your life, desperate for someone to want you, desperate for someone to see you, a ceaseless yearning for recognition, for acknowledgement of your existence and you're not ashamed to admit it. After all, how far can you lie about the very thing etched into your bones and skin? And to what end?
More, more, more, the intense craving, an insatiable hunger for it defined your very being. You were an unattractive child and grew up into an even more unappealing adult , at least that's what your mother used to tell you before she eventually passed away. Her echoes of criticism resonated through your subconscious, shaping you as a mirror of her own insecurities.
That would explain why you can't meet your own eyes in the mirror, and crave attention like a drug, seeking solace in the fleeting attention Heeseung bestows upon you. He's akin to a drug that leaves you high and delusional for a while, intoxicating you with fleeting moments of desirability.
You aren't stupid though, you harbor no illusions regarding his intentions . You know what he wants from you, you are aware that you as a person don't mean a thing to him, he just wants to take your virginity and flaunt it around like a badge of peak male prowess or something, you're just another challenge to him, reduced to a mere conquest for his vanity. But you haven't felt like a person in so long, you don't think you are in any position to make demands.
When you've been parched long enough, when the thirst reaches fever pitch, threatening to push you over the verge of insanity; the yearning for satisfaction eclipses the rationality of self preservation. The moment of brief satiation held such a twisted appeal, that you were willing to embrace pain and self destruction if it came along with a fleeting sense of fulfillment. The need for validation clouds your judgement, and you become nothing but a mindless puppet of your desires.
That might also explain why your crush on park jongseong is still alive after being brutally rejected in the first semester. Jay and you had developed a friendship really quickly at the very beginning of college, but both of you had never really talked outside of the university hackathons and coding competitions. His knowledge was what drew you to him, and the way he was able to come up with solutions to the most complex problems while you were fighting for your life, it just left you with no choice but to watch him with heart eyes. He was always polite to you too, and what were you if not a sucker for gentle and soft spoken men.Â
He stopped talking to you after you confessed though, not completely because you still had to work on projects together, but conversations became more one sided and short, and so eventually, you just grew apart.
But ever since you got grouped together for the Cp techathon, he has started acting different; thereâs so many lingering touches and subtle flirty glances that sometimes youâre sure youâre imagining everything in your head. Maybe you should get checked out for maladaptive daydreaming. Just a suggestion.
You're pulled out of your thoughts when you reach the curb of your house and don't see your dad's car parked inside. You breathe out a sigh of relief at the sight and proceed to make your way to your neighborâs house. Suzy, your 60 year old neighbor, might be the only good thing going on for you. As you ring her door bell, you can't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing your brother after an entirety of 2 whole weeks. Pitter patter of slippers approaches the door , and Suzy's wrinkled face greets you with a warm smile, as if she was already expecting you.Â
"Hi" you smile, and she motions behind her, at the loud chatter of your brother.Â
"Jihoon has not stopped asking for you for a second" She says , and you can't help but laugh as you make your way inside.Â
The four year old stops talking to his toys as soon as he sees you, his blue orbs staring at you for a whole minute in amazement, and then , as if snapping out of a trance, he sprints towards you at the speed of lightening. "Y/n! " he squeals.
You giggle when he tackles you with a hug, sighing in contentment at finally feeling him so close. You're hit with a sudden urge to cry, feeling his tiny arms wrap around your neck, being away from him never gets easy no matter how many times you have done it. You coo as he tells you how much he missed you, burying his tiny frame further into your chest. You press several kisses to his face and tell him you missed him just as much.Â
"Will you be taking him home today?" Suzy asks, coming over to sit down on the couch in front of you. You caress the back of jihoon's head, rocking him back and forth in your embrace, and meet her eyes, nodding a little. "Dad won't be home for a few weeks, hopefully, his car isn't there" you tell her. She nods in understanding and pats your arm, letting you know with her eyes, that she'll be here if you need her.Â
You're grateful for her, she's the only person you can entrust your little brother with when things start to get bad at home. On the days your dad decides to get shit faced and break everything in the house, succumbing to bouts of inebriation, you're grateful that you can keep jihoon away from the violence. You honestly don't know what you would do without Suzy, the only steadfast refuge from the chaos that is your life. In some way, you are aware that having jihoon over alleviates her loneliness too, fulfilling her own needs of companionship that she deeply craves in her old age.
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Occasionally, you're hit with a wave of inevitable jealousy at jihoonâs sheltered innocence, wishing that someone had kept you away too; from the violence and the pain. But you guess you were meant to be the protector instead of the protected, healing your inner child every time you see jihoon smiling brighter than the sun. If you had to live through all the suffering again , just to preserve and shelter his infectious smile, you would do it in a heartbeat.Â
Suzy hands you a box of home made food when you make your way outside. "I promise to be back for you in a few hours sweetie, you will behave right?" you coo at jihoon's snotty, red nose as he clings onto your leg, begging you to take him with you. You sigh and watch in helplessness as Suzy picks him up in her arms, shushing him down so you can leave. It never gets easier.
Returning home, you dodge the broken pieces of glass and frames, quickly get out of your college attire, throwing on a pair of worn out jeans and a discolored top. There's still an hour for you to be at your part time job , and so you start cleaning the house instead. You don't know why you bother, to be honest, but there's an innate need that craves normalcy. When the house is clean, that means everything is going to be okay. Cleaning serves as a ritual of order amidst chaos, offering a sense of control amidst uncertainty.
Your shift at the cafe ends in a daze, countless customers come in and go out, some rude, some decent but you have learnt to take everything in a stride now. First month you had started working this job, you were a crying mess after the end of almost every shift, your sensitive little heart unable to comprehend why people were so rude. However, just like everything else in your life, you adapted to the demands of the job pretty quickly. As you stare at the now almost deserted cafe, save for a handful of students engrossed in their laptops, you pray that no one else comes in. Fatigue weighs heavily upon you, youâre exhausted out of your mind and just want to get out of here as soon as you can. Yet, as the familiar chime of the entrance bell resounds, signaling the arrival of yet another customer, you resign yourself to another interaction.
Your head snaps towards the door and your jaw quite literally falls to the floor. For as long as you have worked here, you've never run into any of your classmates. However, today out of all days, when you look like the wall mart version of the walking dead, park fucking jongseong is here. Because of course he is, your life has to be a social experiment.Â
You pull yourself together when you realize that he's smiling at you, and you aren't smiling back. "Hi" you squeak out, fairly sure that you sounded pathetic. He grins at your flustered state, and leans closer to you on the counter.Â
"Hi" He whispers back, your heart beating faster at the look he's giving you. You stare at his perfectly parted raven hairs and mentally pass out when he fiddles with his lip ring.Â
"Um-so- what can i get you?" You stutter out, finally coming to your senses and realizing that you have a job. His eyes travel down to your chest , and he leans further into your personal space, his expensive cologne filling up your senses.Â
"I'll take you" He replies smoothly.
"I-, what-you huh" you splutter, not quite trusting your own ears. There's no way Jay is flirting with you right now. The crush that you've harbored for the boy blooms in full glory as he continues to smile at you, a suggestive glint in his eyes. His smile is so damn pretty.
Â
"I'm kidding pretty girl, I just saw you from across the street and thought I'd say hi, and ask if you need a ride back home" He explains. Your lips tug into a shy smile at the nickname, and you peek outside to see his gray Volkswagen parked across the street. Oh wow, Jay thinks you're pretty AND he wants to give you a ride back home. Why does that sound so familiar? Youâre pretty sure you saw this same scenario playing out in one of your lovesick dreams last week.
"Oh-um- i don't wanna cause you any trouble" you mumble , hoping that he doesn't see the way your back is ramrod straight all of a sudden. You never really prepared yourself for the possibility of him , or anyone for that matter, wanting to drop you at your house. You're not ashamed of your neighborhood or the life that you live, but you despise the looks of judgement and pity more. You have managed to maintain this facade of a properly put together person for so long in college, and it has saved you so much mental torture that you know would ensue once everyone gets to know about your humble abode, and how your scholarship is the only reason youâre able to afford your college.Â
"come on sweetheart, would I really walk all the way across the street if I really didn't wanna see you?" He asks, fiddling with his lip ring again. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looks sort of nervous. But why would anyone be nervous of you. Of all people.Â
You nod meekly and mumble a quick "my shift gets over in 5 minutes", trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jay wanted to see you. HE wanted to see YOU. Jay winks at you and makes his way outside. You follow him with your eyes as he crosses the street and goes back inside his car, waiting for you.Â
HE'S WAITING FOR YOU. What on godâs green earth.Â
Seeing that there's only one customer left, you hurriedly make your way to the ladies toilet and wash your face, trying to get rid of the tiredness and grime off of it. What if he kisses you? Your own delusion makes you laugh. You do have some nerve at coming up with such insane scenarios in your head. He's just being nice, and here you are, hearing wedding bells.Â
You reapply your lip balm and take off the apron you were adorning over your tee. You look okay. Well. There's not much you can do in the current situation anyway. You do hope that he overlooks how unkempt you look compared to your college appearance. Should you untie your hairs? But, wouldn't that be too much? He just saw you with a ponytail... fuck it, it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway. You untie your hairs and let them fall in cascades over your shoulders. This is better.
Â
You clean up behind you and inform the remaining customer that it's closing time. Handing the keys to Ralph, the security guard, you quickly run across the street, not wanting to make him wait any longer. Jay opens the car door for you from the inside even before you can reach it.
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"Hop in" He says, a grin in his voice and he doesn't have to ask you twice.
Â
This might be the most expensive car you've ever had the opportunity to sit in. The leather is soft against your skin, and it smells of fresh citrus. Even his car smells good.Â
"So, Where to darling?" He asks, running his eyes all over you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze but manage to utter your address nonetheless.
The entire ride is mostly silent with little conversation that he makes, asking you for directions. It isn't awkward, and you're so grateful for that.Â
"Is this it?" He asks, stopping his car in front of the building whose name you blurted instead of your real address.Â
You nod and thank him, ready to get out of the car when he grabs your wrist, pulling you into him. The middle console digs into your stomach but you honestly couldn't care less with the way his hot breath falls on your face.Â
Your cheeks are warm and you are sure that you represent a tomato with the way the heat only increases when he tucks your hairs behind your ear with his other hand.Â
And oh god, he's leaning in, his eyes fixed onto your lips as he inches closer and closer and-Â
As if on autopilot, You push him away. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment at how taken aback he looks by your sudden reaction.Â
"I-im sorry i- i don't-
"I thought you liked me" He says in a hostile tone, and you can hear the annoyance in his voice, can see the indignation in his eyes.Â
You can't believe you just pissed off your longtime crush because of your inability to be normal. How could you have fucked up so badly?Â
"I-i do, I do like you" You mumble quickly, trying to hold your tears at bay when he scoffs at your words. The shame weighs heavy on your chest as he stares at you a bit longer before looking forward towards the road.Â
"Goodnight y/n" He replies sharply, in the most coldest voice you have ever seen him use towards you.Â
Your lips quiver as you wrack your brain for something to say but you don't think you can say anything to fix this now. You've made a fool of yourself and embarrassed Jay all because you can't be fucking normal about anything.Â
He presses the horn aggressively, and you jump, mumbling apologies and scurrying out of his car hurriedly. Your ears burn in humiliation when he drives off without sparing a single glance towards you.Â
Well done y/n. Your habit of being self sabotaging never really will go away. You cry all the way back to your house, not understanding the abrupt downturn of promising events. It was going so well. He was going to kiss you. You were so close to having your first kiss.Â
You wipe your tears dry when you get close to your house. Jihoon is fast asleep in Suzy's arms when she hands him over to you. You thank her for her kindness and make your way to your house, cradling jihoon's sleeping form. When he cuddles into your neck, his innocent embrace evokes a flood of pent up tears; all that you've been pushing back today, comes flooding out. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to sleep this carefree in someone's arms. If there's love meant for you,then you have never felt it once in your life, and you wonder if it's too late now.
You're crying when you tuck him tenderly into bed, crying when you leave a wet kiss on his forehead, caressing his soft cheeks. You're crying when you try to eat the food Suzy gave you in the afternoon, and you're crying when you rub off all the evidence of today from your body inside the shower. At one point, you arenât even sure what youâre crying about.
Thankfully, when you come out of the shower, the tears have ceased. You embrace the numbness which spreads all over your body after a soul crushing sob session. Itâs funny really, how quickly you seem to turn your emotions on and off like a flip switch, like they arenât even real at all.
Once your emotions are out of the way, and jihoon is asleep, you can't help but relish in the feeling of your skin under your fingertips. You aren't particularly horny, you just want to feel better and sleep with an empty mind. Masturbation always seems to work.
Â
You throw off your towel and crawl onto the bed, spreading your legs and rubbing small circles on your clit, trying to get yourself wet. You rub and rub, and whine when it starts to feel somewhat good. Still, it isn't good enough to get you soaked thoroughly, so that you can cum again and again to your heart's content.
You groan frustratedly and reach for your phone, feeling extremely ashamed when your finger hovers over heeseung's chats. Your pussy tingles in excitement when you read his lewd words, attached to the video he sent you yesterday.Â
"Gonna fuck you so good if you give me a chance baby, look how hard you make this dick"
You bite your lower lip and press play, rubbing your thighs together at the wet sounds coming from the video. His dick is so thick and girthy, curving upwards in excitement. His fingers look so long wrapped around his cock, you canât help but squeeze your thighs at the thought of feeling them inside of you.
The way he moves his palm, up and down, up and down, moaning and groaning your name in pleasure, it has you writhing in no time. You will never admit it to heeseung, but he's the only person you ever think of while touching yourself. He turns you on beyond belief. He turns you on in a way that feels wrong. Almost Taboo.Â
You continue to rub your clit to the sight of him jerking off, hoping that you could see his face in the video too. You wonder what he looks like when he's feeling good. The thought alone is enough to have you dripping in no time. You throw your phone onto the bed, but before you can start fingering your leaking pussy, your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance.Â
You reach beside your head to pick it up and almost drop it on your face when you see heeseung's name flashing on your screen.
Fuck. What the fuck.
When he told you in college that he was gonna call, you really didn't think he actually will. But the phone is ringing and your body lights up in excitement. Is he really going to jerk off on call? Is he really that perverse?
Curiosity gets the better of you, and you swipe right, chewing on your lower lip as you press the phone against your ear.Â
"Hey baby, I didn't think you would pick up, missed me didn't ya? " His cocky voice blares through the speaker and you blush. How was he making you blush over the phone, get a fucking grip y/n.
He chuckles when you don't say anything, finding your silence cute.Â
"At least say a hi for me baby, so I can know that I'm not about to jerk off for your dad" His words make you wince, why was he so vulgar?Â
"Heeseung!" You whisper shout, trying to convey through your voice how scandalized you are.
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"There she is, fuck pretty, you're gonna stay with me on call while I beat my meat for you yeah?" He grunts and you gasp, feeling violated by his language alone.Â
You rub your thighs and fiddle with your pebbled nipples "c-can you not use such words? " you ask quietly, hoping that he doesn't pick up on the silent whine that leaves your mouth right after.Â
You hear a little shuffling on the line and your face feels hot. So he really is getting ready to jerk off? What will he say if you tell him how wet you are for him right now?
Heeseung can't believe you haven't hung up on him yet. His dick getting harder and harder the more that he hears your cute fucking voice.Â
"Nah baby, I'm a nasty motherfucker, you should know that. If you ever let me fuck your cunt, I'll show you what real nasty sex feels like" He says, groaning when he hears you whimper at his words. Fuck. Why the fuck are you so fucking cute.Â
He hisses when he wraps his rough palm around his leaking prick, he hasn't even started jerking off yet and he's already leaking so much precum.
Heeseung doesn't like cute things, but fuck does he want to fuck into one, wants to pound your cute little pussy while you make those cute little sounds for him.Â
His ears perk up when he hears the wet squelching sounds coming through the speaker. Fuck. Fuck are you--?Â
"baby, are you touching yourself? I can hear your wet little cunt through the phone" He grunts, as if in pain.
The moan that you let out tells him all that he needs to know. And damn he's never been so fucking hard before.Â
"fuck yeah baby, fuck yourself with your tiny little fingers, make yourself feel real good for me" He groans, stroking his cock at a rapid pace, unable to stop himself from going feral. This is the first time that you have given him the taste of what it really could be like if he was buried in your wet snatch. It's driving him batshit crazy.Â
"H-heeseung" you mewl, making him fuck into his fist faster. God, you sound so sexy. The heat spreads all over his body, making him feel so damn good that he starts bucking up his hips into his hands.Â
"Y-yeah? Feels so good yeah , baby? Fuck, I wish It was my cock buried in you right now, I would pound you all fucking night -ugh fuckk" he grunts, panting as he feels the knot in his stomach tighten. He wants to cum so bad.Â
Your whines reach a fever pitch and the intensity of the wet squelch increases. God, the filthy sounds of your wetness as you play with your pussy, make his tongue loll out of his mouth. He needs to bury his face in your juices before he dies.
"g-gonna c-um im-ah" you moan, whining and panting as your orgasm gets closer.
Heeseung curses under his breath and jerks off furiously, squeezing his engorged dick head and hissing in pure pleasure.Â
"Oh yeah, cum all over my fucking cock baby, make a fucking mess, I'm gonna give you my cum too" He moans, thrusting up into his fist, again and again and again, chasing his high desperately. His palm is a wet, sticky mess of precum while he strokes his shaft to your whiny voice. You make him so fucking horny, the brutal way he's fisting his dick is a testament to that.Â
A loud moan on your end makes him cuss, his own eyes rolling back as he hears you cumming. So fucking cute, god you sound heavenly. His hips buck up into his fist a few more times before he's spurting thick strings of his cum all over his chest and palm. He plants his feet onto the bed, and thrusts up into his fist over and over to drain himself of all that he has to give.
Fucking hell, that was probably the best jerk off session of his life. Before he can tell you that, however, you hang up on him.Â
Heeseung chuckles in exhaustion and doesn't even bother cleaning his body, laying on the bed in pure sexual satiation.Â
You're so cute.Â
The events of yesterday hit you hard in the morning. Your eyes are swollen and red because of the crying session you had after masturbation. When the high of the orgasm wore off, everything else came back and it hurt like a bitch.Â
You can't believe you let heeseung talk you through your orgasm, you can't believe that he made you cum without touching you, and what you can't believe the most is how much you liked it.Â
Your mind drifts off to Jay, and a sudden shame fills you up again. No matter how hard you try, you're unable to forget the look of disappointment on his face, looking at you with so much annoyance etched onto the creases of his face, it almost reminded you of your mother.
Your gaze goes to the clock and you can't help but heave yourself out of the bed. As much as you'd like to stay and rot in extreme self pity, you don't have the option. Jihoon will be up soon, and you have a limited one hour stretch to make his lunch and get ready for college. You're not ready for the walk of shame to college, but being an academic weapon is your only achievement in life. You wonder what you would be if they take that away from you. Have you ever done anything else? Gone out, made friends? Got drunk at parties, had sleepovers? You haven't, you realize with a throbbing pain at the back of your head. It never was an option for you.Â
You take a shower and fix a quick breakfast for your brother and yourself, getting ready in your prim and proper attire, reverting back to your put together front.Â
Waking up jihoon is a work of lost art that you've mastered over the years, and so it's easy work. What isn't easy, however, is to convince him to let you go.Â
"Why can't you stayy" He whines, tears already filling up his big, brown eyes as he clings to your leg like always.Â
You kneel down to come face to face with him and quickly wipe his tears away "I'm going to bring back chocolates, you like them right?" you ask, cooing when he nods, his brows still furrowed in defiance.Â
"Then someone will have to go and bring them right? so be a good boy and let y/n go"Â
His little brows furrow further and he shakes his head again "suzy can go" He declares, and you can't help but be endeared. All the time that you stay away from him, you'd started to believe that he'll develop more of an attachment with suzy and eventually forget you. But these little things, these are the things that keep you going.Â
You plant a big kiss on his puffy cheeks and he's back to grinning in no time, giggling as you tackle him in your arms.Â
"Just a few more hours baby, I'll be back and we'll play together, I promise" you assure the little boy and his eyes shine at your words, "swings! at the park!" He exclaims, as if remembering the most important treasure of his life. You nuzzle his nose with your own and intertwine your pinky with his tiny one in a promise. It's so easy to make him happy, your perfect little baby.Â
You pepper jihoon with a few more kisses before dropping him off at Suzy's.
Your heart tugs when he starts to cry for you again, but this is your life, you suppose.Â
You keep your head down the entire way to class, lest you run into Jay and embarrass yourself again. Luckily for you, Jay isn't in his designated seat in the automata class, and you canât help but breath a sigh of relief.
The relief is tremendously short lived tho, because Lee Heeseung is sprawled on the seat right next to yours in his full glory.Â
Your cheeks turn red when your eyes meet his cocky ones. He smirks and raises a suggestive brow when you don't make a move to come any closer.Â
"Do you plan to stand for the entirety of this two hour lecture baby?" He asks, suckling on the pop sickle that he always seems to have somehow. You quickly scan the seats around you, deciding fuck it, and plop onto jay's seat instead. There's no way you will be able to spend two whole hours under Heeseung's lecherous gaze. After last night, you have no idea how to face him. Even on normal days he leaves you extremely flustered and a clumsy mess.Â
You can feel his gaze burning holes at the back of your head for the entire duration of the lecture. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, a crumpled paper hits the back of your head. You turn around, shooting heeseung an annoyed look. At least you try to look annoyed. The blush is still prominent on your cheekbones so you can only imagine what you look like to him.Â
He motions his head towards the ball of paper lying near your feet. As much as you want to ignore his shenanigans and focus on the lecture, curiosity always gets the best of you.Â
You unfold it quickly, tucking it inside your book so that nobody else can catch the words scribbled on it.Â
"Wait for me in the janitor's closet"Â Â
You shoot a defying look towards heeseung and crumple the paper back to land it near his jordans. It's equivalent to you saying "I won't"Â
Heeseung only grins at you, shooting a wink in your direction, as if to reply
"I know you will"
He has some audacity, you think, as you make your way to the janitor's closet after class. A slave to your desires, you suppose.
A part of you is nervous and ashamed when his 6 feet tall figure enters the limited space of the closet, caging you against the wall. However, the other part of you, the desperate part of you , preens in the attention, almost feeling a sick pride in the fact that you made him cum too. And maybe even harder, if the way he was moaning last night was anything to go by.
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His large hands circle your waist , and your breath hitches in your throat when he pulls you closer to himself, his nose touching yours while his hot breaths warm your mouth.Â
"have sex with me" He says, leaving you speechless, yet again. It's not that he hasn't said those exact same words and even worse things to you before. It's the bluntness that never fails to take you by surprise.Â
You shake your head, trying to push yourself out of his grasp. He's stubborn tho, and so damn strong, his hold like an iron grip around your body.Â
"Cmon- he groans in frustration- you can have sex with me on the phone but not in person, how is that fucking fair? "
You whimper when he squeezes the fat of your waist harshly, as if branding your body in his hold. You aren't used to being touched so wantonly, and it makes a sick shiver run down the length of your spine.
"W-we did not have s-sex" you splutter, staring right back into his orbs. His heavy lidded eyes travel down to your lips and he leans in, making you gasp loudly when his pink tongue comes out to taste your lower lip, licking it tentatively. Almost experimental in how he runs it all over your lower plump lip. He pulls away before he can steal your first kiss, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat disappointed.Â
"Yes we did have sex. Your tight little pussy came for my fucking cock while you were moaning my name" He supplies cockily, his words sending a wave of heat rushing down between your legs.Â
He buries his nose in the crook of your neck and presses his body flush into yours, grinding the proof of his desire against your leg.
"Look what you do to me, fuck baby, if you won't let me fuck your cunt, at least take responsibility for your own actions" He grunts into your skin and you can't help the pathetic moan that leaves your mouth.Â
"H-how" you ask, feeling yourself getting wetter the more that he humps your leg.Â
Heeseung doesn't reply to you, instead, takes your hand that's clutching his shoulder and press it against his hard on instead.Â
"fuck yeahhh" He hisses, apparently craving your touch like a drug.Â
you're sure your face can't get any redder than this. If it wasn't for his tight hold on your body, your knees would have buckled and given up a while ago. The feeling of a dick underneath your palm is foreign but so arousing, the fact that you did this to him. Heâs hard for You.Â
"Come on baby, squeeze it like you mean it, make me feel fucking good" He hisses, groaning into your neck when you squeeze him softly. The hardness in his jeans seems to get thicker and thicker, it fascinates you.Â
He ruts his hips into your palm, desperately,trying to chase the delicious friction while he pants into your soft flesh.
"Fuck, it's not enough" He curses, pulling back from you to unbuckle himself.
You bite into your lower lip in arousal and squeeze your thighs to alleviate some of the pressure you feel between your legs.Â
He looks up into your eyes, licking on his lips as he plays with the band of his boxer briefs. He watches in amusement, the way that your eyes can't seem to focus on one single thing, jumping from here to there, so nervous,so pretty and . God, you're cute.Â
He takes your hand in his own again and slips it inside his boxers, covering your palm with his own while he uses your soft hand to jerk himself off.Â
The hot and heavy feel of his leaking length has you whining. That only makes him chuckle and groan. "Mhmmn baby that feels so good"
The wet and messy way in which he uses your palm to stroke his length up and down, it's addicting, your palm feels soft and his whole body shivers when he sees how desperately you're squirming, your eyes wide and glossy. He wants to fucking ruin you.Â
He presses his body further into yours, taking your earlobe into his mouth, small whimpers falling from his mouth while his movements get faster. Your palm is slick with his precum, it should gross you out but everything is so hot and heavy in the small space.Â
"Are you wet? Just from feeling my dick? Desperate little thing aren't you? " He muses. You shake your head meekly, averting your gaze from his sweaty face and looking down to observe the rapid movements of your combined hands inside his boxers.Â
"M'not wet" you mewl, eliciting a mocking laugh from the boy. He trails his kisses down the tempting length of your neck, the touch so sensual, it leaves you gasping.Â
"I can feel your pretty little body squirming against me you know, makes me wanna force my dick inside you, where will you run if I do? " he asks, biting your collarbone when the slide of his dick gets wetter and squelchier.Â
His words, instead of scaring you, make an inexplicable heat to ignite your insides. You want him to, you can't believe how bad you want him to act on his desires because you know you don't have the courage to act on your own.Â
"f-fuck, pretty, moan for me baby, wanna hear you when I cum" He sighs into your neck, nipping at your skin and planting kisses in between his moans.
Hearing his words make you keen and he curses under his breath. The hold of his palm is brutal, your hand hurts but God does it feel good to hear him so desperate and needy, whining so hotly in your ear.
"fuck I'm so close so -ugh god-" His voice fades into a delicious moan and you can feel yourself dripping, your juices running down the length your thighs.Â
You don't hold back on your sounds, letting small whimpers leave your mouth when he digs his teeth into your skin again.Â
"Why won't you let me fuck you baby, wanna be the first to get inside your virgin little pussy so bad" He pants, supporting himself with a hand planted beside your head on the wall while he continues to masturbate using your flesh.Â
It's exhilarating, it's hot, and it's so scandalous.Â
"H-heeseung! " You moan when he lathers the skin of your neck with his saliva, tasting your skin like his life depends on it.Â
"Sh-shit" He stutters, the lewd way you cry out his name make his eyes roll back to the back of his head. You gasp when you feel his hot length twitching repeatedly, warm, thick liquid covering your entire palm along with his own.Â
His hips stutter a few more times inside your hold before stilling, a large sigh of satisfaction leaving his lips.
"Fucking hell baby, you always make me cum so hard" He whispers, chuckling to himself.Â
He pulls your hand out of his boxers and wipes his hand off on his jeans, while you watch in silence with face turning crimson. He dresses himself and winks at you before walking out of the closet, leaving you standing there with your palm covered in his sticky, gooey cum.Â
You feel used, but at least youâre useful for something.Â
To say that you are sick of yourself would be an understatement. You feel violated, but some sick part of you enjoys being desired so wantonly. It turns you on. Heeseung doesn't love you, scratch that, he doesn't even like you but here you are, letting him use your body like some mindless sex toy anytime he damn well pleases. You wonder what that says about you. Sure, he's a jerk, but what are you?
You're lost in thoughts, walking home when a loud honk makes you jump on the sidewalk. You turn towards the car honking at you and come to a halt, facing the very familiar Volkswagen.Â
Thereâs no way.
"Come on sweetheart, get inside" Jay grins at you from the inside of his car. You blink at a him a couple of time to really make sure that he's here. After the complete fiasco last night, you really weren't expecting to hear from him so fast. Or at all for that matter.
Nonetheless, he is here, and he's asking you to get inside his car. With your eyes downcast, you crawl towards it and slip inside the passenger seat, playing with your fingers while you avoid looking at him at all costs. He doesn't start the car, but you can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face.Â
"I'm sorry about last night" He begins, and you can't help but look up at him astonished. Why was he sorry? You were the one who royally fucked up.Â
He smiles at you apologetically and reaches out a hand to caresses your cheek by the back of it. If you weren't mentally screaming, you're sure you would have said something, and assured him that he has nothing to be sorry about.Â
"I just, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast, at least not without taking you on a date first. it's just that we've been friends for so long, and we both like each other, so it just seemed like the right thing to do" He explains, remorse dripping from his tone. You start to node your head in support of his sentiments when his words click inside your brain.Â
Wait.Â
"Y-you like me?" You blurt, cheeks flaming when his gaze falls to your mouth and he traces your bottom lip with his thumb.Â
"So much that i forgot how to behave" He mutters in a trance, all his attention focused on fiddling with your plump and fleshy lower lip.
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You blush at his words and avert your gaze back down to your lap, and he pulls his hand back. You want to whine at the loss of contact, enjoying too much being caressed so softly. When was the last time you were touched so gently?
"Before I try to kiss you again, because I will, you're too pretty to resist- he chuckles, and you try to bite back the smile that's threatening to break free on your face- would you like to go on an aquarium date with me? A little birdy told me that is your dream date" He grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows when you look into his kind eyes, and you let your giggles take over your body. The fact that he remembers your random rant from months ago shoots a giddy feeling through your heart. It feels good being remembered.Â
"How about tomorrow? Skip college and let me take you out? " He suggests and you nod rapidly, almost detaching your neck from its socket. Jay only laughs at you endearingly, and it makes you blush even more.Â
He drops you off at the same building as last night again, and both of you are grinning from ear to ear when he drives off. You're sure you catch a few stray looks from the passerbys when they see you beaming and giggling like an idiot as you walk back home with an obvious skip in your step. Itâs ridiculous, really, but it feels good to have something to look forward to in a very long time.
You sigh loudly when you remember the promise you made to jihoon this morning. You're mentally calculating the time you have prior to when you need to be at the cafe, when Suzy's door opens before you can even knock on it, and out comes your little brother, bounding, and giggling in a high pitched scream.
You squat down to catch him in your arms before he can collide with your legs.Â
"Looks like someone missed me" You giggle, hugging the little life close to your body, sighing upon inhaling the familiar scent of his baby powder.Â
"Missed yew" He mumbles into your throat, his little hands wrapped around your neck, and you canât help but coo at him in adoration. "Missed you too my baby, y/n loves you so much"
"He has been so excited the entire day, he wouldn't even eat until I told him you'll be mad if he didn't" Suzy tells you, coming out of her house with jihoon's water bottle in her hand. You laugh at her words, and pick your brother up in your arms while he continues to nuzzle into you.Â
"I'll take him to the park for a bit, I have about an hour before my shift starts" You inform her and she nods at you, running her experienced warm eyes over your face.
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"You look happy darling" She notes and you can't help the blush that dusts your cheeks at her words. She apparently notices , cooing at how shy you are all of a sudden.
"is it a boy y/n, yes or no?" She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice and you bite your lower lip, nodding in a giddy manner.Â
"It is, I have a date tomorrow" you admit, unable to conceal the excitement in your voice. She gasps and pats your head "what a fortunate man he'll be to have someone as amazing as you darling" She whispers, pure emotion shining in her eyes.
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You swallow the lump forming in your throat at her words, averting your gaze and mumbling a small thank you. No, you refuse to cry today, you had your fill of indulging in your emotions yesterday.
So, you push her words to the recess of your mind, where you securely encase them in a metaphorical box, stacking it up on a bunch of age old boxes. Emotions that you adamantly refused to confront and deal with, a stance that you still maintain.
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As you sit staring at your wardrobe, a sense of urgency washes over you and you come to two stark realizations.Â
Firstly, you need to buy more clothes. The sparse collection of garments hanging before you testified to this necessity.
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Secondly, and perhaps more pressing, was the acute awareness that none of what you have is remotely suitable for a date.
Jay is supposed to pick you up in a mere hour and you don't have anything to wear. Well, there's a blue halter neck dress that you wore for freshmen party in your first year, which you're sure doesn't fit you now. There's 3 silk pressed shirts which you alternate at your college, a handful of skirts and a scattering of sweaters.Â
And that's it.Â
You're about to cry when you feel a wave of panic rising within you. Youâre o utterly unprepared for this moment.
As the crushing clarity threatens to overwhelm you, a pang of longing sweeps through you. You wish you had a girlfriend. It's not like you don't have friends, you talk to several people in school, be it for work or just casual chatting , but that's about it. Your relations with other people end as soon as you step out of your university building. Of course, you know that it's your own fault that you don't have anyone in your life, you never really put in the effort to keep up with someone, a casualty of your own reluctance to invest in deeper connections.
Whenever someone tries to delve deeper into your life, you just push back, and you push back hard. You are too consumed with your own life, you suppose. It's not that you have never had any friends either, you have had quite a lot, in fact, you even had a best friend in middle school. Time really changed you as a person though, its not to say that she didn't change either, time changes everyone, but your change had been tangible. You just let everyone go, choosing to stay in your own miserable bubble, blocking all attempts of reaching out or any support that you so desperately needed. Each flicker of friendship extinguished, each bond severed, bore the weight of your own self imposed isolation. You did this to yourself, you weren't a victim of circumstances no matter how much self pity you reserve for yourself. You were the architect of your own solitude, barricading yourself within the confines of your melancholic safety. You tell yourself that itâs better this way, that you donât need anyone, but how long can you fool yourself?
The halter dress is the only option left for you it seems.Â
The dress is not tight, but anyone looking at it can tell that it's not made to fit your body either. It's not revealing, but you can't call it modest either, at least by your standards, you don't think you've ever shown so much skin before. The blue one piece ends smack in the middle of your thighs, your chest is covered for the most part, and the long sleeves cover up your arms. If it's not for the unfamiliar sight of your bare legs, everything looks quite normal, you don't look hideous so that's a relief.Â
You opt for leaving your hairs open, because last time you did that, Jay tried to kiss you.Â
You wait for Jay at the entrance of your false residence. If he finds it odd that you're already outside, he doesn't comment on it, and you're grateful for that.Â
"Wow" Jay says as soon as you enter his car â you look so hotâ, making your ears turn bright red.Â
"T-thank you" you mumble, trying not to be bothered by how blatantly he is ogling at your exposed thighs, or how his eyes linger due to your dress riding upwards when you sit down.Â
You both make casual conversation during the drive, and it's comfortable, the casual back and forth just like old friends. You can get used to this, you tell yourself.
The aquarium that he takes you to is bigger than your entire university building, so pretty and so enchanting, you almost lose track of time. Ever since you were little, you have dreamed of visiting one, you remember writing the same in one of your introductory papers in second semester, a paper that was discussed in class as well. How jay managed to remember that is beyond you tho. Throughout the date, he keeps you updated on every thing that you come across, and it feels good to have his attention completely focused on you. You almost combust when he takes you to a restaurant after the aquarium date, thoroughly flabbergasted because you've never been on a date before.Â
The experience is something you will never forget, your first date, the thought makes you feel ecstatic, the wide smile on your face which refuses to go away is a testament to that.Â
Turns out, your first kiss happens in the same night as well. As soon as Jay parks his car outside your trademark building, he's all over you. He doesn't ask you, he just leans over to you and smashes his lips against yours, tasting your hot mouth eagerly. You don't know what you're doing, your hands are placed awkwardly over his chest while you try to move your lips against his, mimicking his movements to the best of your ability. He doesn't seem bothered by your lack of skills tho, just diving into your mouth with his tongue, one hand cupping your face while with the other, he gropes your thighs.Â
You push back your discomfort and revel in the feeling of his touch, gasping when he bites into your lower lip. He tastes like the wine you drank at the restaurant and you wonder if you taste the same to him.Â
The kiss ends too soon for your liking, but, the feeling of his dark eyes and rough hands running all over the length of your body shamelessly, follows you back home.Â
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You ignore heeseung's calls for the next few days, almost contemplating blocking his number once and for all, but for some reason, you canât bring yourself to do it.
Your dates with Jay continue, and you do manage to buy yourself a new dress. Youâre doing well for your first relationship, if you can even call it that.
Even though Jay does seem to love kissing you, never in a million did you ever think that you'd find yourself in such a compromising position. However, here you are, sitting on Jay's lap in the middle of class while he eats your face. Yes, he's actually devouring your mouth, tongue buried so deep into your throat that the feeling has you arching your body into him.Â
What makes the experience more thrilling is the audience you have. Your classmates had collectively gasped when Jay pulled you onto his lap seemingly out of nowhere. But, it isn't them that you are worried about. It's the boy at the back of the class with a perfect scowl etched onto his handsome face as he watches you make out with someone that's not him.Â
Heeseung looks livid and you wonder why. Is he upset because he thinks you aren't a virgin anymore?Â
Jay lets you go with a smirk when the professor announces his presence, and you rush to your seat that's right in front of the scowling boy, in a daze. It's actually amazing how he ignores you the entire lecture, something that has never happened before. what's more unsettling is the fact that you are mildly disappointed by that.Â
You want to ask him what he's upset about, but you aren't able to gather the courage to. As much as heeseung's a constant itch at the back of your head, you remind yourself that you're dating Jay now, so you can't be thinking about other men.Â
You're dating Jay now. You're dating Jay. You're dating.Â
None of those sentences sound real to you.Â
However, the giddy feeling inside your chest dwindles as Jay gets more and more touchy throughout the entire day. You can't tell if it's normal to grope your chest just a few days after you had your first kiss, but you don't want to make him upset again. You donât like seeing him angry. Besides, isn't this what you always wanted? Someone to want you, someone to love you?Â
And haven't you let Heeseung do worse things to you anyway? Why haven't you ever felt such discomfort when Heeseung used your body to get himself off? . But the truth is, has Heeseung ever touched you this way? Sure he sends you inappropriate messages that are borderline harassment, sure he used your hand to jerk himself off once, sure he wants your virginity and he has made his intentions clear, but has he ever ventured beneath your clothes before?Â
He has never groped your body before, not like Jay is doing. Now that you think about it, heeseung has never even kissed you before. Your mind makes countless comparisons between Heeseung and Jay, and you wonder why you do that to yourself. Were you really comparing the guy whose whole purpose of pursuing you was to pop your cherry and wear it like a symbol of achievement, to the boy that likes you and took you to your dream date?Â
A gasp leaves your throat when jay grabs your ass, smacking it and making you yelp between harsh kisses. You're glad you're in his car and not outside, glad that people aren't there to witness you being touched like this.
"You're so pretty" He whispers in your ear, and so you latch onto his words and overlook his actions.
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Now that you have someone who likes you back, do you really want to push him away? Do you want to let your useless self doubt and trust issues stop you from living your life yet again? No.Â
Thus, you push your discomfort to the back of your mind when his hand travels under your skirt at one point.Â
"It's normal y/n, don't make a fool of yourself" you chant in your head, trying to enjoy the feeling of being wanted.Â
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âWe never really talk.... There's so much we still don't know about each other" your voice is meek, feeling hesitant to say your thoughts out loud in case you end up upsetting jay; which you seem to be doing a lot, to be honest.Â
The said boy groans from the seat in front of you where he's busy on his phone, completely facing away from you.Â
"We know plenty" He quips, not even sparing you a glance, and you bite your lower lip to stop yourself from thinking too much about it. Maybe he just isn't in the mood today? But again, when is he ever in a mood?Â
All you do is make out, and when things get heated, you always pull away. Then he gets agitated, and doesn't talk to you for days. It fucks with your head, but you go along, and even though you don't feel comfortable, you start letting him touch you more, and even though your body is taut with tension, he never seems to care.Â
You want to tell him about your brother, want to share little things you do together and what makes you happy, and ask what his favorite color is.
However, the opportunity never seems to come.Â
Your mind drifts off to heeseung, and the little notes he used to throw at the back of your head during last semester.Â
"Do you like roses or lilies?"
"Do you sleep on your stomach or side? "
"Are you going to the town fair?"
You remember ignoring him back then, but now your heart constricts. Even if he was just trying to bother you, those questions were probably the only time someone had tried to get to know you. You don't know what it is about heeseung, but everybody just looks at you, he's the only one who has ever made you feel seen. Maybe in another universe you would push aside your shyness and answer those notes. Maybe in another universe you would throw some notes back at him, asking things that you wanna know.Â
"I like tulips... But lilies are good too"
"I sleep on my back, sleeping in any other position makes me sore, I don't know why tho"
"I'm not going to the town fair, I have to stay home with my brother, he's really small"
But it's too late now, and you swallow down your words, squash the need to talk to someone, and resort to the heavy silence that is your life.Â
Heeseung is about to fly off the handle. The sight of you in another man's arms shouldn't bother him this much and yet, it does. The fact that you're ignoring his calls and messages makes him feel slightly insane. It shouldn't be like this. You are just a bet. A pick. Just another name on the list.Â
Then why the fuck is he this close to smashing jay's annoying face in. It isn't even about your virginity anymore, and that's what bothers him the most.Â
He hates it, hates that he's so affected by you, but he should have seen it coming,to be honest. With the way he stays up late just to jerk off to your pretty face, no girl has ever drove him this close to insanity before. The lust he feels for you is blinding and all consuming. It burns him, the desire he feels for you scorches him from the inside. It unsettles him how badly youâve managed to turn him into a slave to your big, doe eyes.
Therefore, when he catches you alone in the classroom after three whole weeks of you ignoring his presence, he just can't help himself. Itâs unfair how fucking pretty you look standing near the while board, scribbling something down onto your notebook while trying to setup the projector for your presentation later.
The sound of the classroom door being shut makes you jump, but the reason makes cold dread run inside your chest. Heeseung looks like a predator as he advances on your figure, eyes dark in lust and the vein in his neck throbbing with anger. His hands itch with the desire to touch you, it's been way too long for his liking since he last felt you close.Â
Before you can say anything or do anything, he's on you. The feeling of his lips against yours is electrifying,it feels like your entire body comes alive at the contact. His kiss is surprisingly slow and more bruising than you've ever been kissed before. His hands wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to himself, tilting his head to trace your lower lip with his tongue, waiting for you to let him in.Â
You should push him away but you don't. You can't. Your head is dizzy with a passion you've only ever felt with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you push yourself closer to his firm body, opening your mouth and letting him tangle his tongue with yours. The moan that leaves your mouth at the feeling makes his slacks tighten, his dick hard and throbbing inside his trousers.Â
You taste so fucking addicting, Heeseung doesn't wanna stop kissing and tasting your warm mouth.Â
When he pulls away to breathe, you're both panting heavily, his forehead resting against yours, dark eyes staring into your soul.Â
"I don't like when someone ignores me y/n" He growls, his voice sharp and hoarse from desire. The feeling of his hard on digging into your stomach makes you squirm.Â
"I - I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be talking to you" You manage to let out, biting back another moan when he grinds a bit into you.Â
Heeseung feels hot rage flash across his chest at your words.Â
"Oh yeah? He got his dick inside you yet?" He asks, his words making you blanch. How was he always so vulgar?
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"That's, that's none of your business" You splutter, looking anywhere but his eyes.Â
His hold tightens around your waist and he continues to grind his hard on against your soft flesh.
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"I'll take that as a no, fuck, still a virgin aren't you baby?" he guesses.
You avoid looking at him and it only spurs him on further, his hold tightens around your body the more that you try to maintain some space.
"What a loser, if I was him, I would have buried myself into that tight little cunt of yours on the first night of our date" He whispers, and for some reason, his words excite you instead of disgusting you. A sick tingle runs down your spine and throbs between your legs.
"H-he's not like you" You quip, looking up into his eyes to get your point across "he doesn't want me for my body, he loves me for me"
Your words seem to make him angry, if the slight clench of his jaw is anything to go by.Â
He stops moving against you and scoffs.Â
"Loves you? What do you know about being loved y/n? "Â
His tone is mocking, and eyes full of unfiltered rage, the words spoken with an intention to hurt. And hurt, they do. You wonder how he knows the exact place to strike to make pain ricochet so wildly inside your ribs.Â
What do you know about being loved? Nothing, you suppose. How do you recognize love if you have never seen it before? or do you just accept everything that comes to you as love because you don't have any option to? do you just cling onto every act of kindness because of how much you want it to be love?Â
What do you know about being loved indeed.Â
Seeing your face fall makes heeseung regret his words almost instantly, the sight of your big eyes blinking up at him so solemnly makes his heart twist uncomfortably. What the fuck?Â
Before he can apologize, however, your small hands slide down to push against his chest, and he lets you go. He doesn't stop you when you collect your assignment that you'd been working on when he barged in, your gaze downcast and shoulders slumped as if heavy from the weight of his words.Â
The urge to pull you into his arms hits him as he watches you leave, but he's too much of a coward for that.
Because no matter how much he wants himself to believe it,Â
You aren't just a name on the list, you never have been.
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The atmosphere feels different today. You took a day off from college just to spend time with Jay, and although it makes you feel guilty that you left jihoon with suzy for the entire day, you can't help but be selfish for once.Â
All of this feels like a fever dream and you want to enjoy it before your alarm rings and youâre thrust back into the harsh reality once again.
Jay took you back to the aquarium, then you both went to the beach that his dad owned, and you were having so much fun that you just couldn't say no when he asked you to stay the night at his place. "No funny business" He assured.Â
But that didn't last long.Â
You whined into his mouth as his rough palms travelled beneath your silky sundress, sundress that he brought for you. "The yellow really suits your skin, wanna kiss you stupid" He had said, leaving you a flustered mess.Â
"I'm gonna take this off baby" Jay whispers into your mouth, sitting back up and sliding your dress up your legs without waiting for your answer.Â
You squirm in anxiety and embarrassment when he exposes your panties to his curious eyes. You want to cover yourself, you want to hide, but his firm hold on your waist keeps you down and under his mercy.Â
He slides your dress further up your stomach and then it happens. Your worst nightmare comes true. His eye brows furrow and you watch in dread as his entire face shuts down.Â
"Let's turn the lights off" He says, and you don't know what's worse, the way he eyes your body in distaste , or the way he pulls your dress down to cover you up.Â
"Why? " You manage to ask, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. You know why, you just want to hear it. You want to hear him say it so that your illusion can shatter once and for all.Â
Jay looks away and sighs, his jaw ticking in frustration "because that's how I like to have sex" He replies, his tone smooth, but you are anything but stupid.Â
You sit up and bite on your wobbly lower lip, smoothing down your dress on your thighs with shaky hands.
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"You donât like what you saw" You whisper, barely audible, but he hears you alright. His nostrils flare as he finally turns to face you, looking angry and terrifying.Â
"Do you have to be so damn difficult all the fucking time you stupid bitch? I'm trying not to be mean but you wanna hear how much your body's turning me off to your face? " He grits, hands coming down to grab your thighs and spreading your legs open. A sob escapes your lips at his words and you hit his chest to push him away
"I w-want to go home" You cry, sobbing more when he grunts in anger and slaps your face, pinning you down by your throat while he pushes you down onto your back, and straddles your thighs.Â
"Wasted so much of my fucking time on you, and now you want to go home? Right when I'm this close to being the first one who's gonna scratch your name off the list? "
Your heart stops at the implication of his words, pure disgust and terror runs through your veins.Your eyes fill up with more tears and you start using your full body strength, squirming and flailing, somehow managing to hit him in the shins with your knee. He howls in pain and rolls off of you , cussing you out.
"Fucking bitch" He growls, but you don't stay or look back, grabbing your phone and running as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps chasing you, but the adrenaline pushes you forward even though your vision is blurry with how much you're crying.
How you managed to open his house's main gate is beyond you, but once you are out in the open, the night air hitting your wet cheeks, that's when you come to a halt. You don't know how far or how long you ran, you don't see any people around, just luxurious houses standing tall, and it makes you sob more. You don't see Jay chasing you down the road so that calms your heart a little, but soon, the gravity of your situation sinks in. You almost got raped.Â
The thought makes your knees wobble and you unceremoniously collapse onto the sidewalk, your back resting against a cold metal pole. Your hands shake and sobs wrack your entire body, feeling intense pain coursing through your bones.Â
You were jay's pick too. How could you have been so blind to the signs? Him approaching you out of the blue, just a few weeks after the list got released distributed. if you weren't blinded by your stupid feelings, you would have seen it as clear as day. He wanted your virginity. Just like Heeseung.Â
He didn't like you as you had deluded yourself into thinking.
The disgust on his face when he saw the stretch marks littering the lining of your stomach, it was so palpable it made you flinch.
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Was he going to fuck you just for the sake of winning the game? Is your virginity really all that? But who are you kidding, all this time, you have held onto your virginity so desperately because you know that it's the only thing that makes you desirable, doesn't it? It's the only reason Heeseung wants you, it's the only reason Jay pursued you, what even are you without your virginity? Once you lose it, you'll fade into the background again.Â
No more delusions. Just plain, cruel reality.Â
The hurt you feel is something that you brought upon yourself. Did you not know yourself? How could you ever, even for a second, except someone to love this version of you? When even you can't look at your body without disgust, why did you expect Jay to?Â
As your sobs quite down and turn into small sniffles, you dial Heeseung's number and let your phone ring. This is it, you think to yourself, heart oddly calm when he picks up on the second ring.Â
"Hey sweetheart, this is the first time you have called me on y-
"Do you still want to fuck me? " You ask, your voice hoarse and monotonous.Â
You hear a sudden clatter of something falling down on the other end of the line, like he dropped something, taken off guard by the suddenness of your question.Â
"I-yeah-i mean what? are you okay baby? " He splutters, and your head throbs, you look around yourself and don't even recognize where you are.
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"can you pick me up? I know it's late, but i think I'm lost, you can fuck me as payment, I'm still a virgin" You explain. And somehow, hearing you talk about yourself like a commodity rubs Heeseung the wrong way. What's going on with you? You don't even sound like the y/n he knows.
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"Where are you baby? " He asks, and if you didn't know any better, you would say that he sounds concerned.Â
"I don't know.. there's a beach nearby.... and the area looks expensive, but i can't tell what street-
"send me your location from the maps baby, I'll be right there, just stay where you are " He warns before hanging up.Â
You want to smack your head against concrete, so much for being an academic weapon, why didn't you think about sharing your location before.Â
You rub your bare arms to keep yourself warm. Apparently, the dress isn't as warm against the night cold as it seemed to be inside the warmth of the house.Â
Somehow, this decision feels right. Heeseung has been the only person who has been honest about his intentions with you from the very beginning. Although it was the exact same thing that Jay wanted, but still, it feels right to let Heeseung take your virginity instead of anybody else. You want this miserable fallacy of want and desire to end. And for that, you are going to give away the only thing that makes you special. Sounds like a perfect plan to you.Â
After what seems like an eternity, a blue Toyota stops right in front of you.Â
You don't even glance at it twice, just staring blankly at your feet, until you hear the driver's door open, and shoes come into your line of vision. You don't even have a chance to look up before heeseung's gathering you into his arms
"Holy fuck you're freezing baby" He exclaims, picking up your numb body as you cling onto him for life, you can barely feel your legs. Heeseung lays you down in the back seat, and instantly turns the heater on. A cold shiver runs up your spine at the sudden temperature change, your eyes falling shut on their own, and everything around you fades into darkness. You want to sleep a very long sleep.Â
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Heeseung looks at your body in his back seat, anxiety coiling in his stomach at the sight of you being curled up into a fetus position. Even as he drives, he can't concentrate on anything else, because he's pretty sure he saw a red mark on your left cheek, like someone hit you. Hard.Â
He's hoping he's wrong, because the rage building up in his chest is inexplicable.
There's dry mascara tracks running down your cheeks so he figures that you must have been crying, and he can't help the sick jolt he feels in his cock at the thought.Â
The yellow dress you're wearing is riding all the way upto your thighs, and Heeseung can feel his throat getting parched. So much skin. He's never seen you this exposed before. He wants to touch you, wants to run his palm over
your smooth skin and kiss you till you're moaning into his mouth , and he wants to take you up on that offer you made on the phone, he wants to see for himself how pretty you look while crying.Â
He curses himself for having such thoughts when you're clearly not okay, but Heeseung's no saint. Heâs never claimed to be one either.Â
He knows that if you asked him to take your virginity to his face, he will ravage you on the spot, it won't matter that you seem to be in pain. He'll make you forget everything and fill you with pure pleasure the entire night.Â
He's not a man of morals, and he's never pretended to be one.Â
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You wake up with a start, breathing heavily while your eyes adjust to the view around you. The unfamiliar soft sheets, the tasteful and expensive decor of the room, it all intimidated you somehow. You called heeseung, that's all that you remember, everything after that is a blur. Is this jay's room? Did he find you again?Â
Your heart's beating really fast, threatening to give up on you as you look down and see yourself in a white linen shirt instead of the dress that you were wearing instead. What the fuck happened.Â
You instinctively reach between your legs and it doesn't hurt, your panties are dry and intact. So, this isn't jay's house or clothes. The familiar cologne fills up your senses once you take a whiff of the shirt you're wearing, and it all makes sense. Heeseung.Â
This is heeseung's house, and his room probably, definitely his shirt. Did he change you out of your dress? Was he as disgusted as jay when he saw the mess that you were underneath your clothes?
You look around yourself and sigh in relief at finding your phone on the bedside table, exhaling the breath that you didn't know you have been holding.Â
Before you can reach for it tho, the door to the room opens. You pull the sheets closer to your chest when Heeseung peeks in. He seems a little taken aback at seeing you awake and sitting up , looking like he caught you in the middle of doing something.Â
"Thank god you're up baby, thought youâd die on me" He grins, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, the room feels small for just the two of you, your fingers wringing nervously when he takes a seat next to you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks.Â
You bite back a pained whimper at the pressure against your left cheek, Jay must have hit you really hard, the skin still sensitive and stinging at the slightest of touch. Heeseung seems to notice your discomfort and removes that hand instantly, choosing to caress the other side of your face instead.Â
"I need to know that you're okay sweetheart" He says, urging you to speak. But you don't know what you're supposed to say, you aren't okay, obviously, but this is better than everything else so you suppose you are. You choose to nod instead.Â
He hums and slides more closer to you, forcing you to look into his eyes, his face so close that if you leaned forward just a bit, your lips would collide.Â
"Do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" He asks, and you are taken aback by the softness in his touch and words. But you'd be a fool if you fall for that again.Â
Hence, you take hold of his free hand instead, watching how his eyes immediately fall to your tight grip, watching in rapt attention as you guide his hand under your shirt, and between your legs. Heeseung's eyes instantly darken when his hand comes into contact with your panty clad pussy, a few choice words leaving his mouth when you gasp at his touch.Â
Fuck. He likes this bold version of you.Â
His eyes meet yours, and hot arousal pools in his lower stomach at the way you're looking at him, eyes blown out in lust and desperation.
"It doesn't matter" You whisper, inching closer to his face, and planting a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "just want you to fuck me and show me how good sex can feel"Â
A deep grunt leaves his chest at your words, and the next thing you know, his hungry mouth is latched on yours, the force of his actions making you hit your back against the bed sheets while he mounts your body, his palm still cupping the centre of your legs. He kisses you like he's been deprived of you for so long. All thoughts of your well being leave his mind, focus locked onto the sinful words you just whispered into his ear. His tongue dives into your mouth and you give him free access, both of you exchanging spit messily. You mewl into his kiss, your body squirming pathetically when he starts rubbing your clit from above your panties, applying just the right amount of pleasure to leave you gasping.Â
You're just about to thread your fingers in his silky strands when the familiar ringtone of your phone makes you jolt. He ignores the sound like he can't even hear it, tongue too busy sucking yours, the movement of his thumb getting faster and harder.Â
You can't ignore the sound tho, there aren't many people who call you. So, when your phone rings for the second time, you know it's important. You push against his chest, and he pulls away, panting heavily while he stares at you, brows furrowed in confusion.Â
You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth as you watch him gathering your saliva coating his lips and sucking it into his own. How does he make everything seem so hot and nasty?
"Sorry, i- i have to take that" you whisper, motioning towards your blaring phone. Heeseung grabs it from the nightstand and hands it over to you instantly "make it fast baby" He grunts, retreating his hand from between your legs and settling on groping the soft flesh of your thighs instead.Â
You nod, and curse when you see Suzy's name. Fuck. Fuck. You never thought about informing her of your whereabouts. She must have been waiting for you. Jihoon must be waiting for you. With an apology on the top of your tongue, you swipe right.
"Hey suzy, I'm sorr-
"Y/n, your dad is back and you need to come back right now" Her terrified voice cuts you off. Panic takes hold of your spine, and you instinctively get out of the bed, standing up to calm down your heart. You can feel heeseung's inquisitive gaze on you, but you can't be bothered with keeping up appearances right now.Â
"What do u mean? Why do u sound scared?" You ask her, tears gathering at your waterline, because as much as you want to stay calm, the terror grips hold of your heart. Itâs never good when your dad is back.
There's some shuffling on the other side, and your heart drops when you recognize jihoon's sobs, and Suzy's coos trying to shush him down.Â
"What's going on?!" you can't help but raise your voice, even though it quivers.Â
"Listen y/n, I think he came back a few hours ago, but when he didn't find you at home he came banging on my door, asking me where you were. And he was drunk out of his mind, but he heard jihoon's voice and now he is not leaving. He keeps banging on the windows, and asking for his son, I don't know what to do. I kept calling you, and you didn't pick up. I'm going to call the police, but jihoon is not my child y/n, you have to come back right now" More shuffling, and a loud thudding sound cuts the call off, making your heart beat out of your chest.Â
"Suzy??, suzy?!" No response. You look around in panic, meeting Heeseung's worried eyes.Â
"Pants, can you lend me some pants please" you ask him, tears dripping down your face. You're panicking so hard right now, your fingers feel numb. Heeseung scrambles to his feet immediately, and noticing your shaking hands, he helps you inside them himself, folding them so they donât restrict your movement.Â
"Thank you, can you- you fret- can you please, please drop me to my house. I know I promised I'd let you fuck me but I really need-
His soft lips interrupt your rant while he kisses you tenderly and cups your face, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs "address, baby"Â
And this time, you tell him your real one.Â
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You keep dialing Suzy's number the entire ride home but she doesn't pick up. If Heeseung hears you quietly sobbing, he doesn't mention it. You guide him to your house, and are thankful for the distraction his fingers provide as he draws random patterns on your thigh with his free hand.
You don't believe in God, you never have, but somehow , in this moment, you pray to whatever power is out there, if there is any, to keep your brother safe. You don't care about anything else. Just keep your little love safe.
Heeseung doesn't make small talk, doesn't ask questions, and you find that so comforting, it makes you wanna sob your heart out in his car.Â
The way he doesnât look even slightly disgruntled by the state of your house or your neighborhood makes you want to tell him all about that you've been going through while he says nothing at all. It's been so long since someone listened to you, you know, just for the sake of listening, to take some burden off of your heavy heart.Â
You don't question it when heeseung gets out of his car with you, letting him follow you to Suzy's house. You don't even trust heeseung like that, but knowing that he's right behind gives you a silent strength.
Your dad's slumped on the front porch, one baseball bat clutched in one hand, and rubbing his face with the other. To say that he disgusts you, would be an understatement. How could you have ever loved this man? You haven't seen your father in so long, he got lost behind the violent person with red raging eyes a very long time ago. This man in front of you isn't your dad.Â
His bleary eyes fall on you, and he instantly stumbles onto his feet, pointing the bat at you.Â
"Where have you been you little whore" He hisses, his red eyes looking at you in pure hatred.Â
"What do you want dad?" You ask, fighting away any shakiness that manages to creeps into your words. Your heart is beating fast, you need to make sure that jihoon is safe, but the lack of noise from inside the house scares you.Â
"Where's my money?" He demands gruffly, taking a few steps towards you. You don't stumble back like you usually do, trying to hold your ground.Â
"There's no money dad, there's nothing for you here" You quip. Your words seem to anger him more, his nostrils flare, and he points the bat at the house "bring that little bitch out, I know you're hiding him inside, if you won't make me money, he will" He spits, and you can't believe your ears, hot tears dribble down your cheeks, blurring your vision of him.
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"What the fuck is wrong with you?? Have you got no amount of shame left in you? "
A yelp resounds from your throat when your father grabs hold of your wrist all of a sudden, pulling you close, boring his threatening eyes into yours. You wince at the smell of alcohol on his breath.Â
"The fuck did you just say to me you little slut- he twists your arm, making you cry out in pain, you try pulling yourself away but he only tightens his hold on your arm- do u want me to break your ribs like I did with your whore moth- it all happens so fast, the grip on your arm loosens, a scream rips through the air, your dad falls to the ground. And then there's silence.Â
You stare in disbelief at the boy straddling over your dad's unconscious body, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. He punches your dad's face twice more, then kicks him to roll him over while he stands back up.Â
At that point he turns to you, and you start sobbing. Heeseung is about to open his mouth to apologize for punching your dad unconscious, panicking that he did something wrong when you're pulling him into you, smashing your lips against his, kissing him with all that you've got.Â
Heeseung is taken aback, his eyes widening when your taste invades his mouth, but he recovers almost instantly and pulls you close to his body, kissing you back just as hard. The kiss is wet and salty because of how much you're crying, but he couldn't care less.
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You're both breathing heavily when you pull apart, eyes widening when you hear Suzy's door click open. Jihoon!Â
You leave Heeseung standing on the porch, running to suzy when she comes outside "jihoon?" you question, your voice out of breath.Â
She glances at Heeseung, and then at your dad, before looking back at you.
"He fell asleep while crying, I think he got one of his seizures y/n, all the shouting really scared him" she explains, and you cup your mouth, more tears prick your eyes, feeling your heart break all over again.Â
It's been years since your brother got his last seizure attack because of trauma triggers. You have managed to keep him away from all his triggers, except this time. All because you were selfish, and wanted to stay the night away. Your life has to be one long, never ending sick joke.Â
"where's he?" you ask, your voice feeble, you're afraid you'll start screaming if you aren't careful.Â
"In the spare bedroom, go, I'll take care of him" She says, motioning towards your dad.Â
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The time span between carrying your brother home to tuck his sleeping figure inside his buzz Light year sheets, while suzy takes care of informing the police and calling the ambulance for your unconscious, and injured dad is a blur for you.Â
Heeseung doesn't get in trouble because you vouch for the attack being in self defense, your dad's history of abuse and drinking helps your case.Â
After all cars are gone, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief, you realize that Heeseung is still here. Your heart feels full when you look at his unruly appearance, and you don't want to admit the yearning you feel for him right at this moment. He's the first person besides suzy to witness the shit show that is your life, and you wonder why isn't gone yet.Â
And then you remember. Right, your virginity. How can you forget.Â
You find him leaning against your kitchen counter, hands in pocket as he waits for you. He looks so out of place standing in your small kitchen, the light bulb swinging above his head makes his skin glow, and you can't help but be attracted towards him like a moth drawn to the flame. His eyes find yours as soon as you round the corner to your kitchen, and they stay. This look is different.
He's looking at you like he's seeing you for the first time.Â
You take tentative steps towards his figure, fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt that you're wearing. You don't even get to open your mouth before he's pulling you closer to him, his one hand wrapping around your waist while he cups your cheek with the other, swallowing the gasp that escapes your lips at the sudden touch.Â
He kisses you like you're the air that he breathes, his tongue dipping and tasting all crevices of your warm mouth. You fist the shirt on his chest, and tilt your head to deepen the kiss, whining into his famished mouth.Â
The kiss is everything you've ever wanted. It's not rushed, but it's needy. The passion dripping from his lips renders you boneless, and you lean further into him. The exhaustion seeping inside your bones seems to get heavy with each languid stroke of his tongue, and you don't realize when the tears start falling down your cheeks. He doesn't pull back tho, just trails his kisses upto your face, swallowing your tears as he pulls you flush to his body, dissipating any ounce of space that was left between you two.Â
When you pull apart, your mouths are connected by a string of saliva, hot pants escaping your chests. He rests his forehead against yours, and caresses your face by the back of his hand, cooing when you bite your lower lip to stop the tears from falling again.Â
You're exhausted. You're dead tired and his touch seems to be your undoing, setting all your emotions free, the severity of all the events that happened in the last twelve hours hitting you all at once.Â
"Let me fuck your pain away, baby" He whispers, and in that moment, you can't seem to resist falling into the familiar comfort of delusion. You know that once you let him fuck you, he'll lose interest, but you need it now. You want to bask in his affection and call it love. You want to experience feeling loved and wanted before it's inevitably snatched away from you.Â
"fuck me" you whisper back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when he groans and leans into your mouth again. Heeseung feels like a fucking jerk, but seeing you so helpless, and in dire need of his touch makes him delirious.
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This is a new feeling. This desire to be needed by you.
He would not admit it to you, but he relishes in the fact that you're alone, and in so much pain. It makes it easier for him to show you how much you need him. He wants you to keep him, crave him like he does you.Â
You gasp into his mouth when he hoists you up into his arms, your tiny figure melting into his touch. He loves it, loves how easy you are.Â
He might be taking advantage of your pain and vulnerability, but he only wants you to want him just as badly as every bone in his body wants you.Â
Your back hits the couch, and you stare up at him with wide eyes as he hovers over you, a lustful glint in them that drives him nuts. Your hands bunch up the shirt on his chest, and you pull him back into you again, not getting enough of his lips on yours.Â
You love how dizzy his touches are making you, your body arching into him when he gropes your curves, his hands all over you.
"Wanna see you naked" He whispers, and your heart plummets into your stomach. A sinking feeling beginning to form a pit inside your chest. No, it can't be happening again.Â
He must see the hesitance on your face, because he's caressing your cheek again, so softly and so gently, you almost mistake it for genuine care, but you know better.Â
"What is it?" He asks, planting few pecks on your pouty and swollen lips.Â
You twiddle with the button of his shirt, and avoid eye contact.Â
"C-can we turn the lights off? looking at me might turn you off" you manage to mumble, the words burning your throat on their way out .However, you're done lying to yourself.Â
Heeseung doesn't say anything, and you peek up to see his face. He is looking at you like you've grown two heads. It makes you feel self conscious, your ears burning in humiliation, feeling like you ruined the mood already.Â
"You're beautiful" He blurts, eyes still fixed on you in disbelief, he can't fathom you thinking such a thing about yourself. Him? Getting turned off by you? He has not heard a more ridiculous thing in his life before.
Your eyes snap up to him at his words and you furrow your brows in irritation.
"You don't have to lie to get inside my pants I al-"
"I've jerked off to your face" He cuts you off. Your mouth splutters like a fish as you blink up at him, trying to process his words.Â
He's still staring at you, eyes dark and deep.
"Jerked off just to your face. Not even your body. you're so beautiful I get hard by the mere thought of you"Â
You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Only Heeseung can say such things and make them feel like a compliment. You can't help the giggle that escapes your lips, and you hide your face into your hands.
"God, you're unbelievable" you groan between your giggles, unknown to the fact that heeseung's currently losing his damn mind on top of you. In that moment he realises, that he's never made you laugh before. You have never looked up at him and giggled before. The sound shoots straight to his hardening cock and spreads a warm feeling inside of his chest. He can't believe how overwhelming this sudden emotion is, and he isnât sure where this sudden influx of affection for you is coming from. However, thereâs one thing heeseungâs sure about, and itâs the fact that he loves this sight more than he loves to see you crying. And that's saying a lot.Â
He swallows thickly when you remove your hands from in front of your face, and smile up at him, chewing on your lower lip as the blush on your cheeks darkens
"This might be most romantic thing someone has ever said to me" you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck again.Â
Heeseung leans down to press soft kisses to your jaw, preventing you from seeing the softness in his eyes. He trails his kisses down towards your neck, loving the way your breath hitches.Â
"Do you wanna hear the other romantic things I have to say about you?" He asks, mouthing at your collarbone, and you whine when he digs his teeth into your soft skin.Â
"Y-yeah" you mewl, your body squirming as he squeezes your ass in one hand while he supports himself over you with the other.Â
His hand travels inside your (his) shirt, touching your skin, caressing it. You bite on your lower lip, eyes fluttering when he reaches your bra covered breasts. Your nipples are already hard and pebbled, and you moan loudly when he pinches them.Â
"fuck" He groans, your erotic sounds making him leak inside his jeans.Â
He mouths hotly at the hollow of your neck, and squeezes your boobs harshly, making you cry out again. Fuck, he loves playing with your body like this.Â
You tangle your fingers inside his hairs, your toes curling at the attention he's giving to your chest.Â
Heeseung sits up to unbutton your shirt, manhandling your body to take it off of you in a lust driven frenzy. As soon as itâs off of your body, he instantly goes back to squeezing your soft flesh again, watching with dark eyes how your soft skin turns red in his hold.
"Ah-heeseung" you whimper, feeling exposed at how he greedily drinks in your uncovered skin.Â
He unbuttons your (his) jeans, and slides them off of your legs in one go, discarding them on the floor. He bites his lower lip, his eyes running across your uncovered body, and he can feel how hard and heavy he is inside his jeans. He fights the urge to squeeze his junk when you bite on your finger, doe eyes staring up at him, your body squirming as he gropes you.Â
You're so naively sexy, your innocence drives him batshit insane.Â
"I almost jerked off to you while changing your clothes you know? you just looked too fucking sexy to resist" He grunts, his fingers running over your stretch marks. Before you have a chance to feel self conscious about the fact that he's seen your body before, or feel apprehensive about his touch on your stretch marks, he leans down to kiss them. You gasp when he runs his hot tongue over them, kissing and licking like he can't help it. He traces your panty line with the tip of his tongue, hands groping your thighs mercilessly.
He's so close to your pussy, and your face burns.
Â
"H-heeseung" You squeak out, and the boy instantly climbs up your body to come face to face with you, pecking you softly as he hums.Â
"I-i haven't shaved" you tell him shyly, your ears heating up in embarrassment. But you need to tell him now before he recoils in disgust later.Â
What you don't expect is the way he chuckles, leaning down to nibble on your cheek while his hand cups your breast again, squeezing and groping.Â
"you worry about the things that don't even cross my mind baby- he pecks your nose and stares into your eyes- you think I'll care about some hairs when your warm pussy is right there? that I'll be able to think about anything other than sucking and fucking when my dick's about to fall off?"
Your face is so hot you can feel the heat radiating off of you. Though his words are vulgar, and so obscene, they do placate your worries for a bit.Â
Keyword : a bit.
You're still apprehensive about him being down there. What if you smell bad? and taste even worse?Â
You gasp when he roughly pulls your boobs out of your bra cups, and takes one in his wet mouth. You tug on his hairs, and moan when he bites your nipple too harshly, the sensation making you arch your back into his mouth.Â
You don't notice when his hand travels between your legs, but a deep whine falls from your lips when he runs a finger over your panty clad slit.Â
"you're fucking dripping baby" He groans into your flesh that he still has in his mouth, sucking and biting both of your boobs till they sting.Â
You try to close your thighs around his hand but he tsks in faux disappointment, and parts them again, trailing his kisses down towards your centre, leaving no portion of your skin unmarked.Â
He kisses your pussy from above your panties, slurpimg your wetness through the sheer material, burying his nose into your slit.
"fuck baby, taste so good" he groans, rubbing his nose in your wetness, tracing the outline of your pussy with his mouth. You bite your finger, and squirm in his touch, feeling yourself dripping more.Â
He trails his kisses down to your inner thighs, making you squeal when he digs his teeth into your sensitive flesh. He chuckles into your skin, and does the same to your other thigh. He seems to be enjoying this more than you are. He leaves more bites marks up your leg before burying his face between your legs again, making your thighs close around his head.Â
The action makes something in him snap, and heeseung sits up on his hunches, stares straight into your eyes while he licks his lips for your juices, and starts sliding your panties down your smooth legs.
âwant you in my mouth before we fuckâ
Your breath hitches when his heavy lidded eyes snap down to your nakedness, and he closes his eyes to groan.Â
"shit" He curses, parts your legs open, and dives straight between your legs, not even bothering to take off your panties all the way off as it hangs on your ankle obscenely. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth,and you moan so loudly it has you slapping your palm over your own. The overwhelming sensation makes your eyes roll back, only ever feeling your own fingers down there, it's a heady feeling to feel someone else.
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You tangle your fingers in his hairs, tugging harshly when he slurps your wetness, parting your pussy open with his fingers,and thrusting his tongue inside your virgin hole,running it all over your vulva like a starved man.
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You thrash in his hold, a shiver running down your spine when his nose bumps your clit, and he starts applying pressure, rubbing it back and forth. The obscene squelch that you can hear from between your legs has your face burning, you can't believe how wet you are. You aren't ready for the sudden feeling of his finger sliding inside your pussy, and you scream. Heeseung looks up at you from between your legs, and increases his movement, eyes dark as they watch you lose yourself to pleasure.Â
"How does that feel? " He asks, voice so deep it makes your pussy throb.Â
You moan, and nod your head rapidly "s-so good" you whimper when he dives down to suck on your clit again. The combined feeling of his fingers and mouth pushes you closer to your orgasm.Â
"Yeah baby? Your pussy's so tight, can't wait to get in there, wanna feel good too" He groans, thrusting a second finger inside your warm cavity, and probing inside your gummy walls in come hither motion that makes you mewl.Â
"So wet" He mumbles, licking into your pussy again. And God do you taste addicting, heeseung can spend the whole day buried in between your legs if you would give him a chance. The way your walls flutter around his fingers has him leaking copious amount of precum in his jeans, and he has never been so turned on before.Â
"pleasee" You moan, and he's crawling up to you again, his lips capturing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. He fucks you with his fingers rapidly, lust filled eyes watching in rapt attention at how your eyes flutter shut, and your body arches into him, so ready to getting lost in pleasure.Â
He curses under his breath as he watches how you grind your hips on his fingers, trying to chase the pleasure theyâre giving you
"yeah? Gonna cum and make a mess baby? " He asks into your mouth, swallowing your moan, and licking the drool escaping your lips.Â
You nod your head and dig your nails into his neck, holding onto him for your life. Heeseung ruts his hard on against your thigh as he watches you come undone on his fingers alone, moaning his name unintelligibly. Watching you cum is the hottest thing heâs ever seen, he decides.
"Cum on me, make yourself feel good" he sighs, the pleasure filled expression on your face has him close to cumming untouched. You gyrate your hips while his fingers get covered in your juices, drenching his palm as he helps you ride out your orgasm. You sigh out in relief, coming down from your high, your hold loosens on his neck and you squirm while you watch him sucking his fingers, tasting your juices. It's so hot, you don't even realize when you lean in. His lips meet yours and you moan upon tasting your cum, sucking on his tongue like he sucks yours.Â
"Made you feel so good yeah?" He asks, his voice hoarse in desire, and you nod, pushing yourself into him again. He wraps his arms around your body, and unhooks your bra, finally taking it off of your body, and discarding it somewhere.Â
"My turn" He grunts.Â
You rub your thighs together while he unbuckles his belt, ogling your naked body like a pervert. Your eyes widen when he pulls his boxers down unceremoniously, just enough to let his dick flop out.Â
It's bigger in person,even bigger than you remember while touching him and you whine. There's no way that can fit inside you. His eyes darken as he strokes his cock, fisting it to the sight of your naked body lying so helplessly, ready for the taking. And God does he want to take you.Â
If you weren't a virgin, he would have been pounding your hole by now, but as much as he's impatient, he wants to make this experience good for you too.
You're sucking on your finger again, your eyes fixed on how he moves his palm up and down his shaft, the real life version makes you drip more than the video he sent did.Â
Heeseung hovers over your body again, and grabs your hand, pulling out your finger from your mouth. "No hiding your sounds from me, wanna hear you loud and clear while I fuck you stupid" He growls, and you squirm under his gaze.Â
You yelp when you feel him running his dickhead against your slick pussy, wetting it in your juices for a smooth slide. You dig your nails into his shoulders, staring up at him with your big doe eyes as you utter the words which make Heeseung finally snap.
"p-please don't make it hurt" your voice is the sweetest thing he's ever heard, and God, does he want to hurt you. He wants to roughly push himself inside till there's nothing but tears of pain and pleasure running down your pretty face. He wants to make you scream, and show you how pain only heightens the pleasure.Â
You're so naive, looking up at him, trusting him, but heeseung is lost in his dark desires and pushes in without a warning. You turn him on so badly.Â
You scream at the way his length bullies itself inside your tight hole, scraping against your walls and your body feels like it's being split in half. Tears blur your vision and you push against his chest, sobbing through the pain that makes you want to run away. It's too much.Â
"h-hurts please-oh-" his hips push inside and then he's balls deep into you, groaning in satisfaction while you scream again. The feeling of your hymen tearing apart makes you sob uncontrollably, and you try to angle your hips away from him. He doesnât fit, heâs gonna tear you apart.
Heeseung holds your hips in his bruising grip, and starts moving in and out. He's too damn turned on to think about anything else other than how good your virgin pussy feels around his dick.Â
"Stay still baby, let me feel good" He grunts, pulling out of your hole to the hilt, and then pushing inside again. In and out. In and out. His hot pants fall onto your wet cheeks. Heeseung reaches down to rub on your clit, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. It feels more pleasurable for him when you start getting impossibly wet.
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Soon enough, Your pain filled sobs start to subside, and pleasure filled sobs start to leave your lips instead.Â
That's when he starts fucking in earnest. Once he hears you moan in pleasure, heeseung lets go of all his inhibitions, and straight up pounds into you.Â
"Fuck yeah baby, so fucking tight for me" he groans, snapping his hips against you at a rapid pace. His balls smack against your ass every time he pushes in, and the skin slapping sounds make your head throb in pleasure.
You didn't know sex could feel so good.
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"Heeseung please, oh my god" You moan when his dick rubs against your sweet spot, his hot pants fall on your mouth while he slots his lips against yours in imitation of a kiss
"Yeah? Just like that?" He asks, his own eyes rolling back when you clench around him. So deliciously tight.
The slide inside is so deep and so wet, it makes his hips pick up speed.Â
"Warm little cunt, waited so long to get inside" he groans, biting on your lower lip, and grinding his pelvis against yours.Â
The sheer ecstasy running through your veins at the way his cock makes out with your cervix, makes you thrust up your hips against him. You buck into his hold, pressing your body closer, rubbing your chest against his clothed one. It's then that you realize that he's still wearing clothes.Â
Heeseung curses under his breath when you whine and tug at his shirt.
"You wanna feel me naked baby?" he asks, running his hands over your curves as he pounds into your warm hole. It's too good to stop.Â
You nod and tug on his shirt again, trying to get closer to him.
"Fuck" Heeseung mutters, and sits back on his hunches, his hips still grind into you while he strips himself off of his clothes. He pulls himself out of you for a split second to discard his jeans and boxers on the floor, then he's thrusting into you again.Â
"This is so much fucking better" He moans, loving how your naked body arches into his own, rubbing yourself against him so desperately. The delicious friction of your grinding sexes makes you both delirious in pleasure. Heeseung digs his fingers into the fat of your waist, and buries his face inside the crook of your neck, kissing and moaning along it while his thrusts become
merciless. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and throw your head back, exposing more skin for him to dig his teeth into.Â
The obscene way your naked bodies buck and thrust against each other to reach pleasure high is a sight to behold. The skin slapping, and wet squelching sounds fill up the space between your heated bodies, and you never want this feeling to stop.Â
"tight fucking cunt, so good, wanna keep fucking till my dick aches" His filthy words travel deep inside your core, and warmth spreads inside your womb, the knot starting to form in your stomach.Â
"oh my god" You moan when he slows his hips into a slow grind, hitting all the right spots inside your swollen pussy.Â
"Yeah? fuck yourself on my dick like a slut, grind your virgin little pussy on my meat" He growls, coming up to capture your lips in his own, groaning into your mouth when you dig your nails painfully inside his flesh, enough to draw blood.Â
The sweat drips down your bodies, as you rut against each other in pure pleasure. You moan into heeseungs mouth as he languidly licks against your open cavity, sucking on your tongue, and exchanging spit.Â
The pace of his thrusts fasten, and he pounds you into the couch, fucking into you like his life depends on it. Your words are reduced to mere moans and babbles, your tongue lolling out at how good he feels.
"gonna cum inside this cunt baby, gonna let me fill you up right? flood your insides with my fuck cream?"
You nod in a lust filled haze, and heeseung licks the saliva that pools in the corner of your mouth.
" Yeah? Real deep baby? Fuck-so fucking good Jesus" He growls, his spit and sweat falling into your mouth as he starts rutting into you like an animal. He can feel himself getting closer. the knot in your stomach snaps when he presses his palm into your lower stomach to trace his outline. You gasp into his mouth, and your body convulses uncontrollably.
"Fuck yeah, god you're gonna make me cum, god im- his hips grind a few times inside your pussy, and then he's stilling inside of you, the tight clench of your pussy pushing him over the edge, shooting his thick cum inside your womb.Â
It feels so good that Heeseung keeps moving inside you till you whine and cry out in overstimulation. You're grateful when he listens, and pulls out, but the very next second, he's getting down there and burying his face between your legs again, slurping your combined juices from your pussy. Your toes curl at the feeling, and you can't help but open your mouth when he comes up to slot his cum filled one against yours. It's nasty, but you can't stop licking into him, tasting your mixed release together.Â
"Fuck, you're nasty" He chuckles, finally turning your body around, and wrapping you into his embrace.Â
For the first time in your life, you fall asleep nuzzled into a warm and comforting body against you.
 ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Heeseung has always prided himself in the fact that he doesnât get attached to people easily, doesnât feel certain emotions until he allows himself to. Heâs not a good person, heâs always known this, thatâs the reason why he has always kept himself at a distance.
Watching. Observing.
Nothing in his life is unpredictable, heeseung works according to the plan, always predicting and preparing himself for situations that can happen. Thatâs just how he operates.
Watching. Observing. Executing.
You, however, caught him off guard. Heeseung was never ready for you to barge in his life the way that you did.
You think you know him from third semester but heeseung knows you from way before that. The first time heâd seen you was on the very first day of college, waiting right outside the registrar office, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you stepped aside for people to pass.
There was something about you that stuck with Heeseung. He couldn't figure out what it was no matter how much he thought about it but you soon became a constant itch at the back of his mind.
It wasn't like you were strikingly pretty. Heeseung had been surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Almost desensitized to extravagant beauty. It all seemed vague to him.
You were not extraordinarily pretty, no.
But you were enchanting. it was the type of pretty that stuck with you, that stayed with you, the type of pretty that might not capture your attention in the first glance but the second or third glance might have you hooked; the type of pretty that was made up of hesitant smiles and solemn gazes and fidgeting hands.
Heeseung watched you from afar for a long time, observing, learning. That was until he saw an opportunity to be in the same lecture as you. Thatâs when he started executing.
And then you made him fail. At his own game.
Heeseungâs sickness identified and craved yours, rendering him powerless when he realized that maybe,you were even sicker than him, a thousand times more depraved. You just didnât know it yet.
He didnât realize when you became the very thing he breathes, carving yourself a home inside the darkest parts of his heart.
Ever since he fucked you into your sheets, his craving for you has increased tenfold. He is way past pretending that you are some stupid bet, or a mere name on the list. Seeing you vulnerable, and yet so strong , made something shift in him. He's always been sick in desire for you, but over the past few months, you have managed to infiltrate your way inside his brain.Â
"How's the mission " Cherries to pop" going for you man?" Jake's voice interrupts his thoughts, and he doesn't have to think twice about his answer, eyes fixated on your slumped figure as he replies
"Take her off the list, I won"Â
Numerous gasps are heard around him, sunghoon laughs in shock, eyes meeting Jake's in disbelief "you can't be serious, was she any good? " He asks, nervousness creeping in his voice, because heeseung did look serious.Â
Heeseung turned his eyes towards sunghoon,face void of any emotion
"the bet's over. I don't want to talk about it, but if I see any of you fuckers around her after this, it's going to get bloody " He warns, sweeping his eyes over the shocked faces of the boys around him. And with that, you are taken off the list forever.Â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You hear the whispers, you aren't deaf, but something inside you disassociated when you woke up in the evening after losing your virginity. Cold and alone.Â
Heeseung had cleaned your body and clothed it before he left, but not having him near stung more than you ever thought it would. It was to be expected tho, wasnât it? He got what he want, there was no reason to stay.
"can't believe heeseung really did it"
"Man, she doesn't look like she must have been a good fuck"
"A win is a win"
You don't dare look up the entire day, ignoring all the folded papers that fall beside your leg. Curiosity doesn't get the better of you, and you don't pick them up to read what's inside. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. All this buzz will die down in a week, and you will finally resort back to the dark corners, and shadows where people will no longer look at you, just past you.Â
You don't dread the reality of your situation anymore, a small sigh leaving your lips as you gather your stuff, and walk past the inquisitive stares.Â
Settling down at the farthest seat in the cafeteria gives you a sense of relief. This seat has been your safe space through all ups and down. The only constant in the chaos of your existence.
You're busy swirling your food around the plate when a sudden quiet falls over the cafeteria. All the chitter chatter, and noise dies down. It's almost eerie. Eerie enough to finally make you look up to see what's wrong. Your eyes turn towards the entrance as you follow everyone's collective gaze, and what you see makes your heart plummet in your stomach.
It's Jay. But he's wearing a cap, his head is slumped down as he makes his way towards his seat but it doesn't hide the black and blue wound blossoming around his left eye, several deep cuts on his lower lip, and scratches on his cheek. The high neck he's wearing sticks out like a sore thumb in mid July, and you wonder if there's more that he's trying to hide. You don't have to worry about facing him, looks like he's not going to be looking up anytime soon.Â
Realization sets inside your throat like a lump, and you instinctively snap your gaze towards heeseung's table. His eyes are already on you when you find him. They're dark, and tender, if that's even possible. You feel like you're drowning in them. Your throat feels full, and your eyes burn the more that you look at him, and you can't help but follow your instinct to get out of here as soon as possible. It's too much. This sudden influx of emotion is too much for you.Â
Murmurs follow your leave, but you don't stay behind to hear or care. Your steps are heavy and purposeful as you stride forward, away from everyone and everything. This feels like a fever dream. Why the fuck would Heeseung do that? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even find out?
But you know exactly how he found out. The location that you shared. It isnât rocket science to figure out who lives nearby. Of course he knows. What confuses you is the fact that he cared enough to look it up and avenge you in his own sick way.Why does he even care?
You can feel a breakdown coming, and so without wasting time, you rush home in a frenzy. By the time you reach your threshold, your throat hurts, the tonsils burning in pain. Your body is begging for you to let it out, but you're a slave to your habits. Holding everything inside until it chokes your airway.Â
You're tapping your leg frantically as you stir a spoon haphazardly in your coffee cup, swallowing down copious amounts of caffeine to push back the inevitable. You hate breakdowns, hate feeling so out of control and vulnerable. It shatters your facade, makes you come face to face with the pretty lies that you tell yourself.Â
"It's going to be fine, you're fine"
But are you?Â
A loud honking in your front yard makes you drop your cup, spilling all of its contents on your shoes, jumping back as you get startled out of your mind.Â
Who the fuck?
You step over the mess and make your way to your front door, watching in disbelief as Heeseung's car idles in front of you. He's looking right at you from his window, and you wonder what is it about his eyes. There's something about his eyes and the way he looks at you. It makes you feel naked. Body and soul. It seems like he looks right through you, and you don't know if you like that.Â
Your feet move on their own and he doesnât even have to say anything. In no time, you find yourself sitting inside his car, your back against the expensive leather seats, while you play with the stray threads of your blouse.Â
"What do you want now?" you ask, deciding to break the silence. It's only fair to stop beating around the bush and get this over with. Whatever this is.
"You" He answers almost immediately, making you scoff. You don't look at him but you can feel his gaze burning into you.Â
"I'm not a virgin anymore Heeseung, you won, thereâs nothing more that I can offer you" Your voice feels scratchy against your throat, and you wonder if it's because of the tears you keep pushing back.Â
There's a heavy pause of silence, and then you hear him chuckle, almost in pity and contempt.Â
"You don't get it do you?" He asks, voice laced with disbelief.Â
When you don't look up, and don't respond, he laughs hollowly.Â
"Ask me why I did that" He says, his tone a tad bit deeper now. It's a demand. "Ask me why I smashed pretty boy's face in"Â
You swallow the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Not now please.Â
"Why" you whisper ask, almost inaudible if it wasn't for the pin drop silence in the car.
"because it gave me a sick satisfaction to see him in pain. I'm not sorry about how your old man ended up either. If I could, I would shoot both of their skulls open for putting their hands on you"
The anger and pure hatred in his voice makes a sob to rip through your chest, eyes finally snapping up to meet his. They're dark in anger, and disdain, and you wonder why he cares so much. You look over to his wounded knuckles which are turning white due to how tightly heâs gripping onto the steering wheel. The sight of his anger mirroring your own ignites a spark of recognition deep within you. The raw intensity of emotion emanating from Heeseung stirs something inside your vacant soul. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, you feel seen. Validated. All this time, you had told yourself that you got what you deserve. You were fundamentally flawed, and all of this pain was your own fault.You never allowed yourself to be angry, burying the rage beneath your stoic facade, but seeing Heeseung angry for you makes your own walls crumble one by one.
"I want to cut open anyone who's ever hurt you baby, I want to be the only one who gets to hurt you" He declares.
You gape at him while tears run down the slope of your cheeks
"that's-that's not normal" you whisper, but his expressions don't crack, eyes wide and pupils dilated. In this moment, he looks insane, and it scares you how much you want to get lost in him.
"You don't need normal" he replies.Â
His words hit heavy and get stuck inside your throat. You look away and wipe your tears, swallowing another bout of sobs threatening to escape your chest. The walls are cracking, the sound of them breaking and destructing can be heard as you let his words sink in.Â
"Quit your part time job and let me take care of you. Your every need, I'll satisfy it. You won't even have to ask me for it and it will be done" He says, leaning forward, as if trying to make you see the reason in what he's saying.
You shake your head, eyes brimming with anger and tears as you stare right into his own.
"I don't need you to take care of me. I've always done it myself and I have managed to do it just fine, I donât need you" you seethe, feeling rage at his implication that you can't hold your own.Â
His expressions soften as he runs his eyes over your angry tears, his hand coming up to wipe them with his thumb. Itâs pathetic how this small caress makes you lean into his touch.Â
"No you don't. But I need you. I need to take care of you. I wonât be able to live with myself if I don't" He confesses.Â
More tears run down your cheeks as sobs rip through your chest, and he continues to caress your face.Â
"Is this a declaration of love?" you grouch through your physical grief, watching how his eyes gaze into yours, as if he wasn't expecting you to ask him that.Â
"Does it have to be? I promise to keep you happy and protect you from all harm, should that not be enough?"Â
You stare into his orbs and your heart skips a beat at the raw vulnerability you find there. He's just as scared as you, if not more. Turns out, you aren't the only one who is bad at confronting feelings.Â
You crawl your way onto his lap, and he instantly wraps his arms around you, like you belong there. You take his hand into your own and press tender kisses onto his knuckles, and he watches you do it. Then you look up, and smile. That smile seems to be his undoing. Heeseung instantly leans down to kiss you fervently. You tangle your fingers in his hairs, kissing back just as deeply, and he groans into the kiss. The collision of your mouths is desperate, as if trying to convey all that's left unsaid.Â
"It's enough" You mumble into his mouth, and he swallows your words greedily.Â
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stuck with me: park jongseong
pairing: jay x afab!reader
word count: 26.2k
synopsis: in the middle of the apocalypse, you and jay find each other in a situation of life and death, using the protection of each other to get to the next safe zone. unfortunately for the both of you, things take a turn once secrets get revealed and the fight for survival becomes greater.
genre: enemies to lovers, zombie apocalypse!au, blonde jay, smuggler hyung line + smuggler txt, riize members + jungkook and namjoon make appearances, smut.
warnings: swearing, blood, weapons(guns and knives), drug mentions, make-out session, multiple unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f. rec), gun goes pew pew, mentions of d**th, MINORS DNI, lemme know if I missed anything âĄ
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me,â Jay said, the barrel of his shotgun pointing straight ahead, his heart rate racing faster than just a second ago, index finger twitching as his whole hand shook.Â
You stood across from him, pointing your pistol right back at him, aiming directly for the middle of his forehead.Â
Unfortunately for you, you had three other shotguns pointing directly at you.Â
Your glare didnât relent as you eyed each of them.Â
âYouâd be wise to drop your weapon,â you darted to the one who spoke, his dark red dyed hair hung slightly over his eyes, a sure sign that he didnât trust you. Which was fair. You didnât trust them either.Â
âFour against one,â one smirked, his natural fangs showing, âBe smart, girl.âÂ
âI was here first,â you snapped, eyes darting between the four of them, âFind another place to ransack.âÂ
Jay glanced to his left as Jake took a step ahead of him, âAs if! Drop your fucking weapon!â he yelled at you.Â
You scoffed, raising both hands up, slowly backing away. Vampire fangs was right, it was four against one. There was no scenario where you would win this fight. Not when four shotguns were being pointed at you with the low amount of ammo you had left. It was a loser situation. They slowly lowered their guns slightly, obviously still on edge.Â
Jay watched you carefully as you backed away. Watching as your long-sleeved shirt forsaken you, revealing the white bandage wrapped around your forearm with blood soaking through. His heart raced faster, eyes widened.Â
âSheâs been fucking bit!!â the redhead snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you.Â
âShit,â Jay hissed.Â
You lowered your pistol back at the blonde, gritting your teeth.Â
**5 HOURS BEFORE**
You stuffed your mouth with the extra shirt from your backpack, biting down as hard as your jaw let you, and rolled up your sleeve to your elbow, the bite mark on your forearm still looking as gross as ever.Â
The bottle of medical alcohol you found at the hospital sat to your left on the counter as you dangled your bitten right arm over the hospital's sink.Â
You grabbed the bottle and took a few massive deep breaths in before pouring the alcohol down onto the bite.Â
Your grip on the shirt tightened as you hissed in pain, doing everything you could possible to keep your groans to a reasonably quiet level to not alert any living or undead beings that could be stalking the hospital to your current location.Â
Once the last of the alcohol dripped from the bottle and onto your arm, you grabbed the paper towels and gently dabbed your skin then tossed the towels behind you. You then picked up the tube of ointment, spreading enough on your fingers to rub gently on the bite. Adding the finishing touch of wrapping the white bandages around the bite and securing it tight.Â
You got lucky to have found all these supplies when you did or else youâd be dead soon due to infection and loss of blood.Â
You quickly pulled your long-sleeve back down then tossed your extra shirt, along with your newfound medical supplies, into your backpack and threw it over your shoulders.Â
In all honesty, besides just being lucky enough to have found these supplies, you were lucky to still even be breathing.Â
Itâs been three years since this hell started. Since the so-called âcureâ for some wack-ass disease was created for treatment that ultimately backfired and turned anyone who took it into a man-eating monster. And as the world failed to contain the outbreak, if anyone who was affected by the treatment bit or even scratched someone else, it too turned them into man-eating monsters. Or zombies if you will. Maybe even runners, clickers, or bloaters if you played the famous âThe Last of Usâ video game before the world went to shit. The walking dead, walkers, lurkers, the infected. Basically, any term you can think of for zombies is literally what was happening.Â
Before the world knew it, everyone was thrown into this universe of kill or be killed to survive. The strong-willed were the only ones who survived. Or unless you were lucky and packed up with others. Or even extremely lucky and live inside one of the safe zones and not have to worry about leaving it.Â
Unfortunately for you, you were all the above, minus not getting to leave the comfort of the safe zone.Â
The safe zone you lived in was small and quiet. Not a lot of people, maybe a little over three hundred. So when supplies ran low, teams were sent out to gather more. Your safe zone wasnât lucky enough to have military aid, and even when the military did come by to give supplies, it never was enough. Guess they saw your safe zone as a waste of time.Â
Youâve ventured out of the safe zone multiple times for supply runs, so when you were picked to be a part of the team to head out, you thought nothing of it. Thought of it as just another scouting and supply runâŚbut it wasnât. Clearly.Â
Your luck had to run out at some point, and that day just so happened to be where the luck ended.Â
Your team was stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally, actually. The rock technically being a wall and the hard place being the undead had your team surrounded with no chances of escaping. Two of your team members were already killed, one got bit and killed themselves to spare the pain of changing, leaving just you and four others. One got scratched on the leg and had no other chance of escaping. Bless that man because he used his last bit of flares and bullets to part the sea in a chance to let you and the others make a run for it.Â
You held onto the hand of your best friend as you both booked it on the small clear path. And once the sea started to close, you knew it was over. Your friend was ripped from your hand, her screams filling your ears along with the others who were being torn apart. You wanted to give up. You should have given up. You were surrounded, and the smell of death from the unliving as they were only nearly inches away from you. But some spark of hope kept you moving forward. Some unrelenting force pushing you towards the window. Your best friend yelled at you to keep going. If you were honest, her voice wasnât the only thing that gave that hope. Something else was drawing you to stay alive, and what could that have been? You didnât know. But you wanted to find out.Â
You guarded your neck and face with your arms as you jumped through the window, the sound of breaking glass being loud enough and the smell of your blood that now ran down your arms surely alerted any other zombies in the area. But you kept moving once your feet touched the ground and started sprinting. You kept moving even as the tears streamed down your face as you left your teammates behind.Â
You were the lone survivor.Â
It didnât take you long to notice the bite on your forearm just above your wrist once you got to a water stream and soaked your cut and bruised arms from breaking the window. You thought you were done for. That everyone elseâs sacrifices were all for nothing. You wouldnât be accepted back at the safe zone if you even made it back to the safe zone. Once youâve been bit or scratched it takes roughly twenty-four hours before you start turning. The safe zone was two days away. You wouldnât make it.Â
Except you did.Â
Itâs now been a month since youâve been bitten and nothing about you has changed besides the fact you have a random ass zombie bite mark on your arm that is slowly, but surely, healing. It will be one hell of a scar.Â
You knew returning back to the zone wouldnât work. Theyâd kill you on the spot. Or if they let you back in and notice youâve survived a bite markâŚyouâd just become an experiment. Just like in every zombie video game and movie.Â
So you took to the life of being a lone wolf. Doing everythingâand meaning everythingâyou needed to survive.Â
You continued your search of the hospital, gathering more medical supplies and any food left behind. Along with more ammunition(even if it was just a few bullets) for your pistol and any other weapons to add to your arsenal. As you passed by a window, you noticed just how low the sun was setting, meaning you needed to either get to a safe place within the hospital or attempt to find a nearby building or house that was safer.Â
Because letâs be honest, who knew who or what was in this hospital still. And you sure as fuck werenât going to be sticking around long enough to find out.Â
You lifted up your sleeve to check your bite, seeing a small amount of blood staining the bandage. You quietly cursed, knowing you had to leave as soon as possible before something detected your blood smell. The only thing that sucked about the bite being slow healing, is the fact it still bled and was still infected. You needed to get treated, but that came at a cost that wasnât worth it.Â
You quickly and quietly slipped out the same way you came in, darting into the overgrown nature the world was now, your pistol in hand and knife strapped at your thigh.Â
**3 HOURS BEFORE**
âAre you being serious right now?â Jay scoffed, staring down at Heeseung as his hands, and parts of his face were stained red.Â
Heeseung smirked as he looked up at his younger friend, âObviously.â he chuckled, âWe are in the zombie apocalypse, If I want to dye my hair red, I will dye my hair red.âÂ
Jay stared down at the hair supplies surrounding Heeseung on the floor, âWhere the fuck did you even find all this?âÂ
Heeseung shrugged, âI found them a couple of months back the last time we left the zone. Only just now decided to put them to use.âÂ
Sunghoon let out a low laugh. He was sitting at the kitchen table with an old Polaroid camera in his hands. The old thing was broken, but that didnât stop Sunghoon from wanting to fix it and use it, âYouâd think being in the zombie apocalypse, dying your hair would be the last thing on your mind.âÂ
Jake agreed, âWe should be stealing supplies that are needed.âÂ
âAnd this was needed!â Heeseung rolled his eyes, âWho says fashion had to die with the world?âÂ
Jay always loved how positive his older friend was. How unaffected he was by this fucked up world. But with the way his world came to an end, Heeseung kind of had no choice but to grin and bear it. To shove the past away and live in the now and for the future. Also being the oldest and taking up that mantle to be the sole source of happiness and good vibes for the group, he was better than the rest of the boys living in this cabin.Â
Jay knelt down beside Heeseung on the floor, eyes wandering between all the supplies, âDamn you used up all the red.âÂ
Heeseung just smiled, âWant me to dye your hair?âÂ
Jay lifts his hand to run it through his black hair, debating if it even would be worth it. It would add some fun to his life. But ultimately he declined, âWe are going out.âÂ
Jake groaned, and flopped himself down onto his bed, âAre we seriously sneaking out tonight?âÂ
Sunghoon leaned back in his chair, draping his arm over the back, âWhat are we smuggling out?âÂ
Jay shook his head, âItâs what we are going to smuggle in.âÂ
Heeseung kept his eyes pointed at the small square mirror he had propped up against a bike of old books on the floor as he continued to run his red dye-stained hands through his hair, âWhat could we possibly be smuggling in?âÂ
âDrugs, obviously,â Jake said, rolling onto his stomach, âWhat else could we smuggle into the zone that isnât allowed to be here?âÂ
Jay shrugged, âI got a tip that a building about an hour south from here, someone from a neighboring safe zone dropped the drugs off there. We smuggle that in and sell that shit, weâd have enough money to last us for months.âÂ
âAnd who the fuck tipped you off?â Sunghoon scoffed, hands going back to fiddling with his camera.Â
âI swear to god if you say Yeonjun,â Heeseung said with a click of his tongue, âMan is higher than a kite half the damn time.âÂ
Jay just smiles, âNah, it wasnât from Yeonjun or his crew.âÂ
âThen who?â Jake asked with pure confusion on his face.Â
âProbably Jungkook,â Sunghoon guessed, âHeâs the only other person who would care enough about smuggling drugs into the zone. He probably got someone in the jail to run their mouths to even pass on this information.âÂ
Jungkook was one of the local police officers in this safe zone. He wasnât a dirty cop or anything, he just understood that sometimes people need a getaway. That getaway is either hard-core drugs, or even the lesser ones. Ones that either get you fucked up, or higher than a kite like Yeonjun is half the time. Either way, Jungkook allowed these four to sneak in and out of the zone as they pleased as long as they didn't get caught or bitten. Because once they got caught, Jungkook would hold no power to protect them.Â
Jay just nodded and stood up, âWe leave in an hour. Like I said, it would take us an hour to get to where we need to go.âÂ
âOh, good!â Heeseung cooed, âThat gives us plenty of time to bleach your hair.âÂ
Jay scrunched his nose, looking at the box of hair bleach sitting beside Heeseung.Â
âThereâs a pretty cool blonde color you can use, I sure as hell wonât use it.âÂ
Jay rolled his eyes and sat down beside his friend, âMake it quick.âÂ
**10 MINUTES BEFORE**
Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon all carefully walked into the small village that is said to have the drugs.Â
Each of the boys kept their eyes open for the building that was described to them, guns locked and loaded and ready to fire in case of any trouble.Â
The moonlight and the few shitty street lamps that still somehow worked were the only source of light they had to light the village.Â
It was quiet, a bit too quiet for Jayâs liking but a blessing nevertheless. The last thing he needed was having to actually fire their weapons and alert any zombies their way.Â
âWhere the fuck is this building,â Jake softly snapped, âI do not like being out here.âÂ
âThat makes two of us,â Heeseung agreed, âI donât like the vibes here.âÂ
Most of the world has been overgrown with grass, plants, vines, etc etc etc. Each city or town or village outside the safe zones wouldnât be well kept and taken care of. But this place? The grass was cut. Only a select few houses and buildings had vines covering them. Someone or a few people were taking care of this place. Jay could only imagine it was whoever dropped the drugs off here. Or so he hoped.Â
You also found the small village, taking a mental note of how clean it was when it shouldnât be. You didnât like it, but you needed to eat, clean your bite, and sleep. This place would have to do until the sun comes up.Â
Most of the houses or buildings were locked or covered in vines, and since the undead stalked around more freely at night, you didnât want to risk breaking a door or window and settled for finding one that was already broken into.Â
You found your way into a building where the door was barely holding onto its hinges. You walked in, seeing that it used to be an old convenience store that was yet to be raided.Â
Your heart quickened at the sight, wasting no time to pile what food, medicines, and other supplies you could into your backpack. It was like you hit the jackpot, your luck showing off.Â
Your luck brought you an old tin box sitting on a small shelf under the register (that unfortunately had zero money in it). You gently shook the box, hearing what sounded like a plastic bag shifting about. After opening the lid, your eyes widened at the contents.
Drugs. Hard ones. Ones that would knock you on your ass and get you high as fuck. You dug through the plastic bag, seeing some of the drugs were for pain in high dosages, which was perfect for your bitten arm. God damn were you lucky.Â
You shoved the tin into your backpack, ready to find a place to sleep when a noise coming from the back of the store jolted you to a stop. Your heartbeat quickened and your breathing became unsteady. Your hand on your pistol tightened, shaking as you quietly walked towards the back. You prayed and prayed it was just some animal, or the wind blowing through the broken windows.Â
You turned the corner towards the bathrooms, only to be met face-to-face with an undead monster.Â
The thing hissed and groaned as it saw you, lunging forward, arms stretched out and drool dripping from its opened mouth. The smell of rotting flesh was enough to make you want to toss up everything youâd eaten that day. You only had enough time to take a few steps back before tripping over your own feet falling completely on your ass.Â
You havenât felt fear like this since you and your old team members got cornered. The flashbacks of watching your friends get eaten and torn about filled your brain. You started to panic, thinking this was it until that sparkle of hope filled you once again. You raised your pistol up, aiming at the zombie's head, and pulled the trigger twice.Â
âPlease tell me you all heard that too,â Heeseung whispered, the sounds of a gun being fired echoed across the village.Â
âYeah,â Jay took a deep breath in, âI heard it too.âÂ
The boys quickly went in the direction of the sound, eyes glancing in every direction to keep watch of any trouble until they found the building they were looking for and found something they werenât expecting to findâyou. Â
You barely got to your feet and turned around when the four men approached you, shotguns aiming directly at you.Â
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me.âÂ
And thatâs how you all ended up here, guns pointing at each other with every intent to kill.Â
âSheâs been fucking bit!!â Heeseung snapped, all four of the boys' weapons locking back into place pointing at you.Â
âShit,â Jay hissed.Â
You lowered your pistol back at Jay, gritting your teeth, âItâs not what you think.âÂ
âLike hell it is!!â Sunghoon yelled, âI should put a few rounds into you right now!âÂ
Jay couldnât explain it, but something felt off about this, about you. Your wrap was soaked in blood, but you can clearly see the blood has darkened in some areas of the wrap. Usually, a person who has been bitten turns within twenty-four hours. Your wound looks older than that.Â
You whipped your weapon back to vampire fang, narrowing your eyes, âShoot me and Iâll sure as hell make sure to get some rounds into you too.âÂ
âSunghoon,â Heeseung sternly said, âStand down.âÂ
Sunghoon locked his jaw and took a few steps back. Heeseung noticed it as well. The longer he stared at you, the more he could tell your bite looked too old.Â
âHoon, Jake,â Jay said, barely turning his head to look at the younger too, keeping his weapon pointed at you, âGo find what we came here for so we can leave, I donât want to stick around long enough to find out if she has more friends here.âÂ
The younger too nodded, slowly backing away and then turning on their heels, running in different directions to find what they came here for.Â
Heeseung and Jay kept their eyes on you. You knew once they got whatever they came for they would leave you here or kill you.Â
You preferred the first option.Â
âFuck!â Jake yelled, finding the whole place empty, âNothing is here!âÂ
Heeseung and Jay narrowed their eyes at you, you could read it all over their faces that they came here for what you found and shoved into your backpack.Â
âFucking bitch, plan to take those drugs to knock your ass out while you change? Maybe kill yourself in the process?âÂ
You showed your teeth, âWhat is it to you?â You snapped, âI found it first, fuck off!âÂ
Jay took a step closer to you, and you took two back, âWe have a lotâand I mean a lotâof money riding on those drugs, hand them over before I kill you and take them myself.âÂ
âMight as well just kill her,â Heeseung scoffed, âItâll be a blessing compared to what sheâll feel once the change takes over.âÂ
âIt's not what you think!â you yelled again.Â
Heeseung wasnât listening, not really caring either. Heâs had enough. They needed those drugs, needed that money to keep his brothers alive. So he stepped toward you quickly, sliding his shotgun tied to the strap behind his back, one hand gripping your wrists and the other at your backpack.Â
He was too quick for you to process or make a move. It was obvious at the way your pistol left your hands and was kicked to the blonde, the way his knee bent into the back of yours buckling you to the ground, that his man had done this plenty of times. Has been in plenty of fights and probably killed multiple people.Â
But youâd be damned if you were going to go down this easy.Â
You slammed your weight to your back, to knock his hand off your backpack, then moved to the left, putting all your force into his side to push him off you. But his grip on your left wrist was unrelenting, his fingers held just above your wrap, slowly sliding it off.Â
You managed to get him off you, sending him to his ass. You quickly stood to your feet, only to be met with your pistol touching your forehead, the blonde's eyes like fire burning into you. Jake and Sunghoon standing back behind him, pointing their guns at you again.Â
âHeeseung,â Jay said, âYou good buddy?âÂ
Your eyes darted to the redhead, watching as he stood up, eyes piercing.Â
You looked back at the man in front of you, raising your hands back up, âTake the fucking drugs, this shit ainât worth it.â It really wasnât worth it. Even if you got away these four would chase you down until they got the box and killed you. You needed to survive for the sake of the friends youâve lost.Â
You kept your eyes locked with the blonde as Heeseung was now at your back, digging into it to pull out the tin box. Â
Jay was about to pull away when his eyes darted back to your wrist, seeing the bite. Without thinking his free hand gripped your bitten wrist and pulled it forward, lowering the pistol to lift your sleep up higher.Â
âShit,â he hissed, âGuys, come look at this.âÂ
You were now surrounded by the four of them looking at your wound, every single one of their eyes widening.Â
You also glanced down at your bite, it was obvious it was infected from it not being taken care of, but it was healing. And it was obvious that it was.Â
âYouâre immune?â The redhead said, his eyes now lifting to examine your face, âHow is that possible?âÂ
Jay locked eyes with you again, then with his friends, âWhat the fuck have we gotten ourselves into?âÂ
â
Sneaking out of the safe zone with four people is one thing. But sneaking back in with four people while SMUGGLING another life and illegal drugs is another.Â
The safe zone might be one of the biggest in the world, but everyone knows who Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon are. So with you standing in the middle of the four as you all climbed up through a hole that leads into an abandoned broken-down home and the face of a military officer staring back at you, your heart sank. And the looks of the four boys around you were evidence enough that you all just got caught.Â
âWhat the actual fuck is going on?!â the officer snapped, his eyes filled with such a fire that I made you want to duck under the boys and back down to the hole and escape into the free world.Â
âJungkook,â Heeseung said, raising his hands up, letting his shotgun dangle from his chest, âListen, man, we didnât plan this either.âÂ
âYou know they keep count of every mother fucker in this safe zone!â Jungkook snapped
âWe know!â Heeseung snapped back, âBut youâre going to want to see this.âÂ
Heeseung whips around to you, reaching his hand out for you to take it, nodding his head to move closer to him, âCome here, YN.âÂ
You glare at him, shaking your head. You still didnât trust these four boys, why would you willingly hand over your secret to a military officer?Â
Jake nudged you forward, stumbling over your feet and reaching for Heeseungâs hand anyway.Â
Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest and it made your heart sink even more. The man was BUFF. His big strong arms flexed naturally and the tattoos that ran from his hand and up his right arm made him seem even more scary, like this man could snap your neck without breaking a sweat.Â
Heeseung barely lifted your sleeve up to expose your bite and Jungkook was five steps back with his pistol drawn out towards you.Â
Whatâs with everyone pointing guns at you today?
âYou brought an INFECTED here?!â he yelled, the hell fire burning in his eyes raging more, âI should kill each of you right now for bringing her here.âÂ
Heeseung rolled his eyes and pulled your sleeve up further, âFucking look!âÂ
Jungkook stared down at your arm, his gun slowly falling to the floor, âHow can that be possible?âÂ
A question for you.Â
You just looked down at the bite, shaking your head, âI donât know.âÂ
Jungkook silently looked between you all, âFuck!âÂ
He shoved his pistol back into the holster at his hip and paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair.Â
âGet her back to the house, NOW!â he growled, pointing a finger at all four of them one by one, âDo not let anyone see her, you understand?â They all nodded, âGood, and make sure she fucking bathes and gets that wound cleaned up and wrapped. Iâll come by when I get my head straight.âÂ
You now walked even closer in between the four boys than what you were earlier, wandering your eyes to every person you walked passed, scared youâd be discovered. That feeling eased up a bit as they led you down an alleyway, then across another street before quickly shuffling you inside what you assumed was their home.Â
Once the door was closed and deadbolted, you scanned their home. It was small, but big enough to house the four of them.Â
There werenât any rooms, so their four beds lined up against the west side of the house, with a couch across from it with a small table and a radio beside it.Â
Their kitchen on the east side of the house was also small, fitting enough space for the normal kitchen essentials and a table for eating in the middle, a bathtub sitting in the corner.Â
You were scared for a second about how these four use the bathroom but noticed outside the kitchen window an outhouse.Â
âThis used to be a storage house,â Jake said, dropping his body onto the couch, âThe four of us fixed it up and made it our home. Itâs not much, but itâs something.âÂ
It was definitely better than the places youâve been sleeping in recently.Â
Jay was now handing you a clean pair of clothes, âWear these after you bathe, weâll find you some that fit better tomorrow.âÂ
You thanked him and walked to the tub, dropping your backpack into a chair at the table. You stared at the tub with excitement. Youâve been without a proper bath since being bitten and the thought of getting a warm bath made your heart sink.Â
You turned the hot water knob, watching as the clean water flowed into the tub. Most safe zones were lucky if they had clean running water and basically electricity. The bigger zones obviously are the luckier ones. Yours, on the other hand, had no electricity and water was so scarce there were designated days when people were allowed to bathe.Â
Without another thought, your hands went to the hems of your shirt and slowly started lifting.Â
âWoah woah what the fuck are you doing?!?â Sunghoon snapped, his heart racing at the sight of barely seeing your belly.Â
âIâm fixing to bathe? I stink?âÂ
âAnd you are just going to strip in front of us?!?â Jake said, the clear blush settling in on his cheeks.Â
You scoffed, letting out a laugh, âThe world is ending as we know it and youâre worried about seeing a female naked? Shouldnât you be glad to see it?âÂ
Jake sat in silence, his eyes now wandering to Heeseung and Jay, who kept their eyes on you, their reactions haven't changed since you first met them.Â
âWell, Iâm not about to be labeled as a pervert,â Sunghoon said, rushing back to the front door, âIâm going to sit outside.âÂ
âYeah same here,â Jake jumped from the couch, following his best friend out.Â
Heeseung finally looked at Jay, who was already staring back at him.Â
You watched as their eyes communicated with each other in a silent language that you didnât know. Then with a nod Heeseung turned and followed Jake out, closing the door behind him.Â
Jayâs eyes were back on you, his facial expression still not changing.Â
âWhat? Not going to follow your friends out?âÂ
He shrugged, âSomeone has to make sure you donât steal our shit and make a run for it.âÂ
You glared at him and scoffed, âI survived for months with less than what you have here, my safe zone didnât have anything and I made it perfectly fine even after I was bit and couldnât return back. I have no need for your stuff.âÂ
Which was true. You survived perfectly fine without the gifts the bigger safe zones had. And then with you having to hunt for your food and survive on less than your safe zone. You didnât need his shit. You were perfectly fine.Â
Jay just shrugged again, crossing his arms behind him as he kept his eyes on you. And you took it as a challenge.Â
You slid your shirt from your body and let it hit the floor, keeping eye contact with him as your fingers went to your jeans, unbuttoning and dropping them to your ankles.Â
Jay was completely unfazed as he looked at you with nothing but your sports bra and panties on. He was more focused on the scars that covered both your arms.Â
âWhat are those from?â he asked. You already knew where his eyes were looking.Â
âHappened the same day I was bitten,â you said, now looping your fingers into your sports bra and pulling it over your head, âI had to jump through a window before I got killed by our lovely undead friends outside the safe zone.âÂ
Jay wanted to ask about how you even got into the situation that led to getting bitten and jumping through a window. Shit had to have been rough.Â
Jay continued looking over your body, eyes stopping at your breasts and then back up to your eyes. You smirked at him, âNot going to turn around?âÂ
He once again shrugged, âLike you said, I have bigger things to worry about than seeing a naked woman in front of me.âÂ
You quickly scanned him up and down, not seeing any signs that your almost completely naked body was affecting him, âDoes it not bother you?âÂ
âItâs just skin, YN.âÂ
Fair enough.Â
You dropped your panties to the floor and climbed into the tub, stinking your body in completely, letting the hot water fill you with warmth for a few seconds before turning the knob to stop the flow of water.Â
Jay watched you relax, watched as your hands rubbed up and down your scarred arms. He wanted to press more about them, to ask how it was possible you even survived whatever happened, mostly with how your bite is clearly infected from not being taken care of properly.Â
âAre you going to keep staring at me or what??âÂ
âWould you rather I sit down and whip my dick out?â he narrows his eyes at you.Â
âFucking prick,â you scowled.Â
âDonât ask stupid fucking questions then.âÂ
âWe just met and youâve already seen me naked and it had no effect on you yet you keep staring at me. I think I deserve to ask the âstupidâ questions.âÂ
You just stared back at him, trying to read his face but getting nothing.Â
To be honest, sex was the last thing on Jayâs mind. Heâs been through way too much bullshit to let some random woman and her cunt affect him that easily. Itâs not even that he was disinterested in sex, he had plenty of women around the safe zone that would drop to their knees so fast for him. Plenty of women heâs taken to his bed and pleasured them all night long. But sex wasnât something he needed to survive like how so many other people in safe zones act like and turn to in a way to forget that the world went to shit. Jay couldnât afford to let that happen with him.Â
Plus Jay didnât even know you and wasnât some asshole to force you into sex with him all because you stripped in front of him.Â
You eventually looked away from him, giving up on trying to read him, âCan I have a washcloth and soap?âÂ
Jay walked to one of the cabinets, pulled out a new bar of soap, a washcloth, and some old shampoo, and then handed them all to you, you mumbled out a thanks.Â
You all of a sudden felt guilty, thinking maybe Jay possibly had a girlfriend or even a wife and you just bared yourself to him. But then wiped that thought off the table, there was no way. Because if he did he would be with them, not some smuggler. Then another thought came into your head and it was so simple: maybe he just didnât find you attractive.Â
You felt your self-esteem plummet and any confidence you had was out the window. You already figured you had a fair body, curvy hips, and busty breasts. The boy back home you used to fuck around with was always finding ways to bend you over. It boosted your ego, but maybe it boosted it too high if some random strangerâs dick didnât get hard at the sight of you stripping in front of him.Â
Jay read your expressions like a book, getting more confused than anything at why youâd let what he thinks affect you. You clearly were strong-willed and a survivor, already proving enough that you didnât need the fancy things to keep surviving. So why let those small stupid thoughts affect you that way?Â
Jay went to confront you, but the knocking at the door pulled him back, turning his head slightly to listen, âJungkook is here,â Heeseung called from the other side of the door.Â
Jay looked back at you, âYou can go deal with whatever that is,â you said as you ran the washcloth over your arms, âI promise I wonât steal anything or go anywhere. Donât know my way around this zone anyways.âÂ
Which was true, you were so focused on not being seen that you wouldnât remember the way to sneak out.Â
Jay just nodded, turning around and heading for the door, âJust so you know,â he said stopping at the door, âI might seem like a pervert for saying it, but you do have a sexy body, and donât let anyone tell you differently or make you think differently. Donât take it not affecting me personally, I truly have more important things to worry about than getting laid.â Â
Then he slipped out the door, leaving you alone in the house.Â
Jungkook stood on the grass with his hands on his hips, eyes wandering everywhere, making sure no one else was about to hear what he was fixing to speak about.Â
âWhatâs up?â Jay asked, standing beside Heeseung.Â
âHer bite mark,â Jungkook started, âIt looks about a month old, ya?âÂ
All four men nodded, âItâs what she told us too, on the way here,â Jake said, âDonât know how true that could be though.âÂ
âThereâs been some rumorsâstrictly just rumorsâthat thereâs been a few others that have been found immune,â Jungkook said barely above a whisper, his eyes continuing to dart around the area.Â
âHow is that possible?â Heeseung asked, âThree years and there has yet to be a cure to stop this madness and now youâre telling me there are others like her that are immune?âÂ
âThere were others like her,â Jungkook sighed, âThey either were killed before they got to the capital or killed themselves before being taken there. But again, itâs baseless rumors. No proof, until her.âÂ
Sunghoon scoffed, âCan we please get to the point of all this?âÂ
âHoon,â Heeseung said with a warning.Â
âI contacted the capital and told them we found an immune,â The four men stood in silence, staring at Jungkook, not knowing what to say or expect next, âSo,â Jungkook was smirking now, âI have a job for you four.âÂ
Jake chuckled, âYouâre fucking crazy, man.â
Jungkook shot him a warning look, a silent reminder of who he was and what his rank was, âAt least hear my offer first before calling me crazy,â Jake crossed his arms and waited for Jungkook to continue, âOne million. Each. If you drag her across the country to the capital.âÂ
One million. Each. Thatâs four million dollars. They would be fucking set, no longer having to worry about fighting for money to buy food and survive. No longer having to leave the safe zone to smuggle shit in and out for money. They would be safe to finally just live. But the problem lies in the trip. And that trip wasnât worth it.Â
âNah,â Jake laughed, âYou got me fucked up. I am a smuggler, not an escort. Make the government come pick her ass up. Not my circus, not my monkeys.âÂ
Everyoneâs eyes were back on Jungkook. He shrugged, âThey have other things to worry about besides making that trip to pick up one individual. Plus it would make a scene if they flew in here and just took her. It would make it obvious that there are immune in this world. It would cause a panic, give the people false hope for a cure.âÂ
Jay watched as each of his friends shook their heads, saying how it wasnât worth it to drag a stranger across the fucking country to hand you over just for the possibility of a cure being found.Â
They all talked over each other, Jungkook trying to convince them with all the money they would have, and the three others not accepting it.Â
âFucking hell, Iâll go alone,â Jay said without even realizing he was opening his mouth.Â
âJay, no!â Heeseung snapped, âThat bitch ainât worth it! We stick to our normal jobs!âÂ
Jay looks at Jungkook, âIf I take her alone will we still get four million total?â Jungkook nodded, and thatâs all Jay needed.Â
âYouâre fucking stupid, man!â Sunghoon hissed, âWhat are you thinking?!âÂ
âThat we would be fucking set and not have to beg ever again for food or work our asses off in this stupid prison for money and food. To never have to worry about stepping foot outside this zone. To remain safe,â Jay didnât realize he was holding his breath as he said that, taking a massive inhale in and clenching his fingers against his biceps, âWhen would we leave?âÂ
âTomorrow night, Itâll give me enough time to let the capital know you accepted their offer and to gather enough weapons and materials for your journey.âÂ
Jay just nodded, âI am doing this, and you canât stop me.âÂ
Heeseung gritted his teeth, âAnd what if they kill her the moment you hand her over?âÂ
Jay just shrugs, âNot my circus, not my monkeys. But at least weâll have four million dollars.âÂ
â
You covered your hands over your ears, closing your eyes tightly. Your breathing was uneven as you heard your heartbeat in your ears, Jayâs voice was muffled and drowning out of the sound of your heartbeat and the screams of the undead surrounding the area.Â
âYN!!â he said loud enough for you to hear him but quiet enough for the undead to not hear him, âYN, calm down!âÂ
You couldnât hear him, you just knew he was speaking to you. The memories of being cornered in the building resurfaced. The sounds of your friends screaming, the smells of the dead, and the blood dripping from everyone. The visions of you feeling your best friend being ripped away from you. Everything was replying over and over.Â
You started to hyperventilate, your every breath loud enough to draw the undead in your and Jayâs direction.Â
Jay grabbed both of your wrists, trying to pull them from your ears, him repeating your name over and over again but nothing worked.Â
âFuck,â he hissed, taking a look around. The two of you were in a safe enough spot that the zombies wouldnât be able to reach you, but once they found where you both were hidingâŚit was over.Â
Jay placed his hands on top of yours, âYN, look at me.â But you didnât respond, your breathing getting worse as the time ticked by.Â
He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low.Â
Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward.Â
**A WEEK BEFORE**
Jay forced you to get as much rest as possible to be awake enough for the start of the journey to the capital.Â
Jungkook said it would be a five-month walk there if everything went smoothly and no hiccups on the road on the way there. Or ya know, the two of you donât get killed.Â
The moment Jungkook knocked on the door to the house, Heeseung quickly answered, swinging the door open to let him slip in before anyone could see.Â
He carried two backpacks filled with food, medicine, and weapons and ammunition.Â
âThis should last you both the five-month journey,â He said, pushing his tongue into the side of his cheek, âThat's if you ration the food and the ammunition. Just donât put yourselves into situations to have to use too much.âÂ
Jay scoffed, sliding the backpack onto his shoulders, âDonât you know who youâre talking to?âÂ
Jungkook chuckled, pulling him into a quick hug, âSafe travels.â
Jungkook didnât say another word as he darted out of the house, Heeseung closing and locking the door behind him.Â
âYou donât have to do this,â Jake said with a shake of his head, âThereâs no need to do this. Weâve survived perfectly fine before.âÂ
Jay has been weighing out his options ever since agreeing to do this. Always leaning toward taking this trip. He didnât want to watch his brothers suffer anymore. Yeah they all werenât struggling, but they would be so much better off once that money was in his hands.Â
The amount of food they would have to fill their bellies, not having to worry about rationing. Not having to shove money away just to save up for the food, more clothes, and the other bills this safe zone forced on the residents here. They wouldnât have to smuggle ever again. Jungkook could get off their backs about certain jobs. They would be free.Â
âI have to do this,â Jay breathes, âI want to do this.âÂ
And hey, who knows? Maybe giving her off to the capital will make a cure and the world could be saved. Maybe.Â
Sunghoon pulls Jayâs shotgun from the hidden closet, âJust donât do anything stupid, ya?âÂ
Jay chuckled, âIâll leave the stupid here with you three.âÂ
Everyone laughed but you and Heeseung, who stood at the door still and leaning against the wall, arms crossed and his face filled with worry.Â
You have only known these guys for a short time, but you can tell each of them rely on each other for everything. Whatever terrible things these four had to endure before the outbreak and even afterâŚthey became family. Inseparable. Bonded for the rest of their lives.Â
Jay pulled the younger two into hugs, saying how heâll be back within a year.Â
Heeseung pushed himself off the wall, dropping his arms to pull Jay into a hug, the older locking his jaw when he looked at you, âYou come back in one piece, got it!â
Jay rolled his eyes, âYou know I will Hee.âÂ
Heeseung pulled away, finally looking away from you, âShe better be worth all this fucking trouble,â he whispers, eyes quickly darting to you to see you adjusting your backpack on your shoulders, âWhat will you do if they actually kill her the moment you get there?âÂ
Jay just shrugs, âNot my problem once the money is in my hands.âÂ
Heeseung sighs, âSheâs still a human being. I can only imagine how life has been since finding out she was immune.âÂ
Jay tilted his head back to look at you, to look at the wrap that barely stuck out of your long-sleeve shirt. âShe probably has been through hell to keep it a secret.âÂ
You look back up at them, âReady to go yet or are you two going to make out before we leave?âÂ
Heeseung rolled his eyes, âGood luck with that attitude man,âÂ
Jay sighed, âYeah. Iâll need it.âÂ
It didnât take the two of you long to leave the house and quickly and quietly make your way back to the same tunnels and escape route you used to get into the safe zone.Â
Jay helped pull you out of the manhole then kicked the metal plate back over it and locked it tightly.Â
He swung his shotgun from his back to his front, positioning his hands in the right places before walking ahead of you, âCome on, letâs get this over with Miss Immune.âÂ
You snarl at him but follow behind anyway.Â
This was the last thing you wanted to happen. To be turned into the capital. To be used as some experiment and plaything for scientists to gock over.Â
âMight as well just kill me and get it over with,â you scoffed, keeping your eyes on the ground, stepping over everything Jay was, âThey will just kill me eventually.âÂ
Jay shrugged, âYouâre worth four million to them, they can do whatever they want after they have you in their hands.âÂ
âSuch a gentleman,â you teased, âDid your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?âÂ
He chuckles, âMy manners went out the window the moment you pointed a gun at my head.âÂ
You glared at the back of his head, âSays the one that surrounded me with four shotguns and then pointed my pistol directly to my forehead.â
Jay said nothing in return and kept walking forward. Eventually slinging his gun back around his back, shoving his hands into his pockets.Â
Neither of you spoke for hours as the night pressed on. The woods were quiet, a bit too quiet for your liking and the only thing making you feel at ease was the fact Jay kept his gun resting on his back and hands shoved into his pockets. He obviously knew these woods better than you. He was a smuggler, after all.Â
Even after all the sleep you received back at the house, drowsiness found you anyway. You yawned and rubbed your eyes, âCan we find somewhere to sleep?âÂ
Jay didnât realize how tired he was either until after hearing your voice, a yawn escaping his lips as well, âThereâs a small shed weâve used when our smuggling routes take a couple of days, we can stop there to eat and sleep.â
âHow far is it?â you asked, not knowing how much longer you could actually go.Â
Jay looks at the surrounding area before he answers, âAbout another hour.âÂ
You groaned but accepted it. Soon enough the small shed came into view. It was overgrown with vines and weeds but still stood strong.Â
Sleep hit you the minute you dropped into the dusty cot, not caring enough to clean it. Jay did the same.Â
The moment the sun started to shine through the shed, Jay woke you up and started the journey again.Â
The whole day passed in silence, only speaking when spoken to and only stopping for food, bathroom breaks, and to rest.Â
A week has passed when the two of you approach an old factory building. A long chain-linked fence surrounded the area.Â
âShit,â Jay scoffed, âWeâll have to cut through.âÂ
âCanât just, like you know, go around?â it was such a simple question, yet Jay looked at you as if you asked the stupidest question in the world, âFine!â you snapped, holding your hands up in defense, âYouâre the one who knows better, right?âÂ
âWeâd waste time going around,â Jay locks his fingers around the holes of the fence, âEvery second counts, plus this place might have materials we can gather.âÂ
And there he goes, climbing up and over the fence, carefully dropping himself back to the ground and turning to face you, âWell?â he raised a brow, âGet your ass moving.âÂ
You roll your eyes and attach your fingers and toes of your boots in the loops, lifting yourself up, crawling to the top, and swinging your leg over the top, âCatch me?âÂ
Jay narrowed his eyes, âYou survived by yourself for god knows how long before meeting me, and now youâre acting like you need help?âÂ
âIâm scared of heights,âÂ
âYouâre fucking joking.âÂ
You smile, clearly loving how he reacts to your teasing, âYeah Iâm fucking with you,â you dropped down to the ground, Jayâs hands quickly resting on your shoulders to keep you from losing balance, âLearn to live a little, okay?âÂ
His glare was unrelenting as you walked past him, âI lived plenty before the world ended.âÂ
You watched as he hurried past you, wanting to ask what he meant. To know some part of how he was before the world went to utter shit. You were stuck with him for five months, might as well get to actually know him, right?Â
You opened your mouth to ask him, only to be met with his hands now on you. One covering your mouth and the other pulling you to his chest, backing the both of you up against a truck, âKeep quiet, we have company.âÂ
Your eyes wander to where he was looking, seeing the few undead friends that lurked around the entrance to the factory.Â
You pulled his hand from your mouth, catching your breath and assessing what to do.Â
âWe need to find a way around without alerting them.âÂ
âI already know that, YN,â he whispers, âThe question is how.âÂ
Jay searched the area, pinpointing every safe spot that led to the door.Â
âOkay,â he released you from his grip, âStay on my ass.âÂ
You followed on his heels, holding your breath the entire way until his hands touched the handle of the factory door and pushed it open.Â
You glanced around at your undead friends who stalked around, their bodies bunched over as they slowly dragged their feet with each step they took, grunts leaving their mouths.Â
Jay peaked into the factory, the only light showing was from the windows, barely giving off enough light for him to confirm the opening at least, was clear.Â
He carefully and quickly slid between the doors, reaching back out to pull you in behind him, closing the door and locking it for extra protection.Â
You both took in the factory. It was a complete mess. Tables, papers, machinery, torn clothes, and everything in between covered the floors. The smell of this place was disgusting. The mixture of oils, grease, blood, and dead thingsâprobably both humans, zombie, and animalsâfilled the air.Â
You tried to not throw up your lunch, covering your mouth with your hand, âI donât like it here.âÂ
âThat makes two of us,â Jay said softly, âTaking a flashlight from his backpack, âLetâs get moving, and keep quiet, we donât know whatâs in here.âÂ
You followed behind him at a distance, eyes wandering over everything possible, looking for any material that could aid you both. But so far, nothing. Everything was either broken or just couldnât be used. Nothing of help or a service to either of you.Â
Jay had a bad feeling about this place, like whatever happened here was a lot worse than the remnants of this place give off. It was way too quiet to just be abandoned. His gut feeling told him to look for anythingâand everythingâpossible that would stick out. Things that shouldnât be here. He swallowed hard, flashing his light down to the floor, seeing scratch marks going in every direction, dried blood staining the tile.Â
Then it clicked in his head. Everything made sense.Â
This whole factory was a trap.Â
This place wasnât abandoned. Not even close. It was purposely left like this to lure in survivors, making them think they found a safe place to hide. Whoever ran this factory obviously wasnât here, or else something would have already gone wrong. âYN,â he whispers, âThis place is a trap.âÂ
âI know,â you said with a shaky breath. Jay was alerted to the tone of your voice, whipping around to see the tears swelling your eyes. He traced his eyes down, seeing the cord youâve stepped on, âSomething clicked when I stepped on it,â you tried to hold back the tears, to look brave in front of him, to look like a survivor. But you failed, the fear washing over you too quickly, âJay,â you cried.Â
âShhh, no, hey,â he quickly gets closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, âCalm down, let me figure out what to do.âÂ
You nodded, feeling a tear slide down your cheek. Jay lifted his hand and wiped away the tear, cupping your face and tracing his fingers along your jaw as he walked away from you, following where the cord led. It was plugged into one of the machines. He wandered his eyes back to the other end of the core, following it back to your feet, and then continued to where it was plugged into the wall. Jay wasnât stupid, he knew if he just unplugged the cord it would make the machine react. He and Jake have rigged multiple machines to still set off if unplugged. The only way would be to cut the cord completely.Â
Jay knelt to his knees, setting the flashlight to the floor and sliding a folded knife from his pocket, whipping it open. He took a deep breath, counting down from three before folding the cord and cutting it.Â
You cry out and drop to your knees, covering your hands over your ears at the ringing alarm that Jay set off.Â
âFuck!â He screamed, quickly standing back to his knees and rushing to you, âWe need to fucking go, NOW!âÂ
Whoever this bastard was that rigged that trap was a damned genius, an absolute asshole, but a genius. To rig a machine to set off an alarm when cut? The more Jay thought about it as he dragged you back up to your feet, the more he realized the alarm would have been set off either way. Cutting the power in either way would have set the alarm off.Â
The two of you barely took a few steps when the sounds of the undead surrounded the factory outside, because, of course, it would. That damn alarm just alerted whatever was outsideâand insideâthis factory. He needed to get that alarm off, and now.Â
Jay dragged you with him to what looked like the office of the building, not wasting time checking for a button or way to turn it off. He whipped the shotgun around and sent bullets into every control panel until the alarm went silent.Â
But unfortunately, Jay letting some rounds into the panel only sent whatever dead friends that were in the building to their exact location.Â
Jay grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the office, running as fast as he could and praying your legs could keep up with him. This wasnât the first time heâs had to run from these monsters, or even hide from them. It wasnât a skill he wanted to mark off his checklist of survival but had no nevertheless. Youâve only had to run from them the night your friends were killed while you fled. Your legs felt like they were led to the memory coming back.Â
You started to lose your breath, the fear covering every inch of you as you tried to focus on Jayâs back, on the warmth of his hand wrapped in yours. It worked for a bit as he dragged you down every hallway to find an exit. Worked until you both ran past a door, that just so happened to have zombies crawling inside it, who watched the two of you run back.Â
You heard the crack of the door first, Jay heard it the second time. His head whips around to see the wood of the door barely breaking and see them pile out of the room.Â
Jay acted fast, shoving you into an office room he prayed was safe. His eyes worked their magic, scanning as quickly as he could and seeing the room was in fact, clear. His hands only left you for a few seconds to close the door carefully, praying they didnât hear it. But obviously, and because why would they not, heard the shut of the door anyway, alerting them in this direction.Â
They ran past, obviously not knowing which room you two snuck into, but their loud groans, hisses, and whales were loud enough to send every zombie on this side of the factory toward this hallway.Â
Which is how you ended up here. Back pressed to the wall, hands to your ears as you hyperventilate.Â
He was running out of ways to calm you down and get you to be quiet. His heart was racing faster as fear was overtaking him and his options running low.Â
Jay slides his hands to your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing over the back of your hands at your ears. Without another thought, he moved forward.Â
He connected his lips to yours, taking in every breath you let out. You opened your eyes quickly, seeing him staring back at you. You focused on the brown of his eyes, focused on the way his lips felt against yours. Your heart rate slowed, and the shaking of your hands stopped. It wasnât even like he was kissing you kissing you, he just held his lips to yours, unmoving.Â
You waited for him to pull away, to pull away and tease you for being a scary cat. But he didnât.Â
His eyes slowly closed, quickly removing his lips and connecting them again, pressing his lips harder to yours. You also closed your eyes, kissing him back. Your hands at your ears, slipped down to his wrists, squeezing them tightly as he shifted his hands to the edge of your jaw, fingers gripping the back of your head.Â
Jay doesnât know what came over him, he only planned to kiss you once and have it be long enough to steady out your breathing. But something drew him in and he couldnât stop.Â
Jay licks your bottom lip, waiting for your mouth to open and let him inside. His tongue explored every inch of your mouth as you sucked on the muscle, savoring the taste of him.Â
His grip on your face tightens as he softly groans into your mouth, clearly losing himself. Knowing he needed to stop but not being able to. The feel of your lips being addicting.Â
You need to stop, you need to stop, you need to stop.Â
The sounds of the zombies outside the door faded, the world finally becoming quiet and it was enough to make him stop.Â
Jay quickly pushed away from you, sliding himself across the floor and to the other side of the office, completely out of breath. He brought his knees to his chest in hopes of hiding the raging boner in his pants, dropping his face into his palms, then running them through his hair.Â
You took a few deep breaths, not taking your eyes off him.Â
âWe will give it time before leaving, to make sure everything is clear to leave,â he said, doing everything he could to not look at you.Â
You nodded as if he could see it anyway. And not another word was spoken.Â
â
Itâs been two months since heâs kissed you. Two months' worth of him doing everything to not look at you, to not touch you. He barely has been able to even speak to you. Reminding himself over and over again what his true mission was: to hand you over to the capital, get paid, and get his ass back home. Nothing else mattered.Â
Nothing.Â
You dropped to your knees, wiping the sweat from your forehead, âJay?â he ignored you and kept walking forwards, âJay!â silence, âASSHOLE!!!âÂ
Jay turned around, piercing holes into you with his eyes that were also on fire at you calling him an asshole. At least it finally got his attention.Â
âI am tired,â you breathed, wiping the sweat that was already recollected on your forehead.Â
âOkay, and?â he said calmly. If it werenât for the fire burning in his eyes you would have thought he was actually calm. But Jay couldnât afford to be nice to you, not when heâs fighting every demon within himself to not press his lips against yours again. Not when he has four million dollars waiting for him.Â
You glared back at him, âI need rest? Weâve been walking for days straight and only took a couple of breaks to sleep for an hour.âÂ
âHow the fuck did you survive alone for so long?â he questioned, starting to think maybe you just hid the entire time before they found you, âwhat happened to that attitude when we first met?âÂ
You stood back to your feet, quickly walking past him and shoving your middle finger in his face, barely grazing his nose, âWant my attitude? Here it is asshat.âÂ
Jay smirked as he watched you walk ahead of him, eyes without his permission moving from the back of your head down to your hips, watching the way they sway. Jay scoffed at himself, quickly dropping his eyes to the ground and rushing after you, âSmartass, you donât even know where you are going.âÂ
You stopped walking, staring straight ahead.Â
But Jay didnât stop, and ran right into you, almost knocking you over completely, his hands quickly grabbing your shoulders. His rage settled in again, âWhat the fuck! Donât just stop waââÂ
âLong time no see, Jay Park.âÂ
He moved on autopilot, hands rushing to your waist and shoving your behind him in the same motion of wiping his gun from his back to front, finger itching to pull the trigger, âSame to you, Choi Soobin. What are you doing so far out from your zone?âÂ
The blonde smirked, âWas on a smuggle run, but shouldnât I be asking you that question, Jay?âÂ
 A laugh from behind, âYeah, arenât you the one who is a little too far from your zone?â
You pulled your pistol from its holster, facing your back to Jayâs and pointing it at a blue-haired man.Â
Jay narrowed his eyes, snaking one hand behind him to grab your shirt, pulling you closer to him, back to back, keeping his shotgun aimed at Soobin, âI am also on a smuggling run, Huening Kai, just passing through.âÂ
âYou know,â a voice to his right, âThis is our territory, there is just no passing through here.âÂ
Jay was barely able to glare to his right, seeing Beomgyu pointing a rifle at you and him.Â
Then another laugh to the left of him, his eyes darting to see Taehyun walking closer, also pointing his rifle, âJay, did you really think we wouldnât have seen you two when you got close to our zone?âÂ
Jay just chuckled, not because of the fact they were even close to another zone, but because he let themselves get close to another zone. He was so caught up in trying to ignore you and push down his demons that he didnât realize how close he pulled you both here. But he kept laughing, âWhat I think is Yeonjun is missing out, isnât he? My feelings hurt that he isnât here.âÂ
Soobin just smiled, âYou think my brothers would just leave me behind?â Yeonjun said, finally making his appearance from behind Soobin, âThat wounds me.âÂ
Jay just rolls his eyes, âAre we done here? I have important shit to do.âÂ
âLike what?â the blonde leader asked, his eyes darting behind Jay to look at you, âWhat are you smuggling, exactly?âÂ
You pressed your back harder against Jayâs, feeling his hand tighten at your shirt.Â
Soobin just tilts his head, his smile growing wider, âDonât tell me itâs the girl.âÂ
Your heart stopped and Jay kept quiet, not having a damn thing to say as a comeback. The only thing on his mind was to protect you, to keep you so close to him that he could fuse with you if possible.Â
But Jay knew telling the truth, or well parts of it, was the only way to get around when it came to these five. Jay has dealt with them enough in the past to know how they work, âIâm taking her to the capital.âÂ
âJay!â you snapped.Â
âShut up!â was his reply to you, âSheâs important to the capital and I have been tasked to get her there. We honestly were just passing through, itâs my bad we got too close.âÂ
Soobin looked between the eyes of each of his brothers, each of them giving him nods and shrugs, âItâs getting late, donât want you getting caught up with ourâŚwalking dead at night. Stay in our zone for the night.â
Jay wanted to say no, to say they were fine. But the death truth was they were running low on supplies. Needed clean clothes and showers. Your bite mark needed to be cleaned, which is why Jay thinks youâre been more out of it the last few days than normal. He knew you also needed some proper sleep and not being able to find any safe place in days to actually give you that rest killed him, âFine. We leave at first light.âÂ
You wanted to protest, turning around completely to yell at him, to reject their offer for him. But all he did was grab your waist and pull you to his side, lowering his gun over to his shoulder and giving you the look of warning to keep your mouth shut. So you didnât fight him. You needed to stay alive anyway, who knew what would happen to Jay, Heeseung, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jungkook if Jay failed to get you to the capital. And you didnât want to think about it. So you clung to his side as everyone walked forward, Beomgyu and Taehyun standing at yours and Jayâs side as Kai stayed behind you, and Soobin and Yeonjun leading the way.Â
âWhere are your three stooges at?â Yeonjun asked, barely turning his head around to smile at Jay, âNot used to seeing you as a lone wolf.âÂ
You tuned out their conversation, keeping your eyes locked off into the distance, biting your lip to keep from talking. You don't know how Jay knew these five or why they obviously seem to be on bad terms, the last thing you needed to do was open your mouth and make it all worse.Â
Huening Kai kept eyeing you and Jay, looking for anything possible to tell him more about what was actually going on with the two of you. Jay isnât ever by himself without the other three. And Jay isnât the type of person to smuggle a human, drugs and weapons were more his and his friend's forte, so why did he have you attached to him as if they were going to rip you away from him?Â
âAhhh,â Kai giggled, thereâs feelings involved. He kept his eyes wandering, barely glancing over to your arm and back up to your shoulder before tracing them quickly back down, seeing the bandage peeking out from your long sleeve, âHaha! Holy shit guys! Sheâs been bit.âÂ
Just as quick as the five of them turned to face the two of you, pointing their weapons, Jay was pulling you to his chest and snapping your pistol from its holster at your hip and pointing it straight ahead at Soobin and Yeonjun.Â
âHoly shit is right, man,â Yeonjun laughed, âNo fucking wonder youâre out here alone, Jay. Going to the capital, my ass.âÂ
Fucking Huening Kai.
The grip on your waist tightened, Jay snarling at each of them, âItâs not what you think it is.âÂ
âOh? Itâs not?â Soobin hissed, his friendly cute persona being replaced with his cool, hard, leader persona, âGive me a reason to not kill you both right fucking now.â
âBecause she was hurt,â Jay said quickly, âWeâve been traveling for two months. We had to climb a fence and she got herself caught. Thatâs it.âÂ
You could hear how fast Jayâs heart was racing in his chest, how hard his body went the moment Kai opened his mouth. He pushed you even closer to him, leaving no room between the two of you.Â
The rage Jay felt course through his body was scaring him. The thoughts he had in his head on the ways he would kill all five of them just by pointing a gun at you. It was scaring him at the things he was willing to do to protect you. Scaring him because he didnât understand why.Â
âWhat does the capitol want with her then?â Soobin asked, clearly not believing the story, âWhatâs so special?âÂ
Jay just shrugged, âBeats me. And nor do I care to know. All I know is Iâm getting a fat paycheck for getting her there.â The hurt you felt at his words when his actions towards you right now were the opposite. You felt confused. First, he kisses you the way he did back at the factory, then turns completely cold and now heâs got you pressed to his chest, grip unrelenting as he points your gun at the threat in front of him. Maybe all he really did care about was the money.Â
To Jayâs surprise, each of them lowered their weapons, âThereâs the Jay I know,â Soobin teased, âLetâs just get back in the zone before the dead decide to get us to join them.âÂ
Everyone walked in silence the rest of the short walk to the safe zone and to your surprise, they didnât sneak back into the zone, their military guards justâŚlet them in? You looked up at Jay, him already answering you in a whisper without looking back at you, âThis safe zone is full of smugglers and corrupted police, itâs how they survive here. The normal citizens and police donât know how corrupt it is. They are very very sneaky. Itâs one of the most dangerous zones right now.âÂ
You didnât answer. Just put your eyes back in front of you as you all entered the zone. Jay pulled you closer to him again, his eyes darting to every person who looked his way, who looked your way.Â
âWe have one room available for you two to share,â Soobin said pointing at the small building to his left, âWe will come by tomorrow to let you back out of the zone. Until then I suggest you stay inside, or at least keep her inside. There are clean clothes and some fruit in there too.âÂ
They still donât trust us.Â
Jay pulled you along with him, the other five watching as the two of you entered the building.Â
âWhat are you thinking?â Soobin asked Kai, who had his arms wrapped tightly across his chest, blue hair blowing in the wind as he narrowed his eyes at the building.Â
âIf she wasnât bitten, then what could be so special that Jay protected her like that? Besides the obvious attraction, he feels. But something is off. The caption doesn't want just anybody, not anyone from this side of the country at least,â Kai took his chin between two fingers and looked up at the dark sky. Picturing the way your bandage was wrapped around your wrist, there was no way you werenât bitten. It was wrapped in a way to hide what was there, not to cover up some woundsâŚunless, âShe is immune.âÂ
Jay let you bathe first, him keeping his eye pointed out the window as he popped a grape into his mouth. He didnât trust the five boys either, not when they stood in a circle in the same exact place, clearly discussing what to do about the two of them, âIf you keep staring at them youâll just give them more reasons to not trust us, we just need to get through the night.âÂ
Jay looks over at you, seeing the way you dangle your arms over the bathtub, resting your chin on white porcelain, âNeither I nor them trust each other and youâre worth a shit ton of money, Iâll keep him eye on them if I want to,â without another word, he looks back out the window. You sigh and resume your bath then get out and quickly change, letting Jay now soak in the tub.Â
You fell asleep faster than you thought and it pissed Jay off. How could you sleep so easily? But the more he looked at your sleeping body, eyes darting to your bite mark, the wound no longer continued to bleed or be filled with pus but now red and irritated. The longer he looked, the more he relaxed, realizing youâve been through enough shit. You deserved some actual rest.Â
Jay couldnât afford to rest though. He left the room, breaking the doorknob once the door was shut, securing a way no one else could get in to hurt you. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he left the building in search of food and other materials to replenish what you and he had used over the last two months.Â
He hated being here. Jay spent enough time over the last couple of years smuggling shit in and out of this place. Itâs the main reason why Soobin and his dogs donât like him and his friends. One major rule of smuggling in this world is to stay out of other smugglers' zones. But hey, if the money was good, Jay and his team did it.Â
Jay was barely able to walk away from a stall selling canned food when he ran into Yeonjun, âWas wondering if Iâd run into you,â he smiled, folding his hands behind his back, âShould have known youâd be out restocking your supplies.âÂ
Jay just rolls his eyes, âWhat do you want? I have sleep to catch.âÂ
âHmm,â Yeonjun hummed, following behind Jay, âI want to ask you again about your girl.âÂ
âSheâs not my girl,â Jay hissed, âJust someone I am taking toââ
âI know sheâs immune.âÂ
Jay turned on his heels quickly, pointing a finger into Yeonjunâs face, âShut the fuck up! Keep your fucking mouth shut!âÂ
But he only smirked, âSo our suspensions are true?âÂ
âNo!â Jay scoffed, dropping his hand, âYou canât just throw around the word immune without it causing chaos, you know this, you dumbass.âÂ
Yeonjun shrugs, âYouâre willing to turn your girlfriend into the capital so easily? When she has a gift everyone would kill to have? She isnât safe out there.âÂ
Jay narrowed his eyes, trying to read Yeonjunâs face for any hint of what he was trying to pull. But then it clicked with him. Soobin is the one who usually is the head of the battle. The first to step up and say or do anything. Yeonjun is also attached to Soobin as his second. But the fact Yeonjun is here right nowâŚwithout SoobinâŚJayâs heart nearly stopped. He slowly backed away. They were planning something and Yeonjun was being used as a distraction.Â
âYou know the capital will kill her, Jay!â he chuckles, âThey will kill her the moment you hand her over. Your precious love will die.âÂ
Jay stopped listening as he made a full sprint back to the room.Â
â
Jay didnât continue breathing until he stepped foot into the room, seeing you sleeping peacefully.Â
He took a couple of deep breathes, placing a hand on the wall to steady himself, giving him only a few seconds of deep breathing before pushing off the wall and packing up both backpacks, âYN,â he calls to you, his heart rate increasing with each second longer you stayed here, âYN!!âÂ
You jolted awake, slowly lifting yourself from the bed and seeing Jay rushing around the room in a hurry, âWhat?â you barely were able to get the words out without a yawn creeping out afterward.Â
âWe need to go. Like now.âÂ
You didnât like the desperation in his voice, and you sure didnât like the way he was rushing around to gather all your things into the backpacks. Something was wrong and it made your stomach drop, âWhy? What happened?âÂ
Jay told you about the encounter with Yeonjun, and how he thinks they are planning something, explaining how Soobin and his team work. You didnât understand it.Â
âHow are you so sure they are even planning anything?â You asked, now following him around the room as he paced to gather everything, âThey let us stay here?âÂ
Jay stopped pacing, his hands immediately grabbing your face, âThey know youâre immune. And they are smugglers, YN. I know how they think. They are going to keep you here and probably sell you to the highest bidder, the thing those people would do to youâŚâ Jay didnât even want to think about what those nasty people would do. The worst thing is to use you as experiments to find a cure on their own without the capital which will result in killing you, or them using you as their own plaything, forcing you to produce offspring in hopes of more people being born with the immunity. Either way, he wasnât going to let it happen.Â
He couldnât let them take you from him. Couldnât let them harm you in any way. He was going crazy just thinking about it all. He stepped away from you, âGet your boots on and quickly.âÂ
You did as you were told, slipping your feet into the boots and taking your backpack from him as he walked to the door, peeking out the windows before waving you to follow him. Jay already secured an escape route. Heâs slipped in and out of this zone enough times to know every escape route possible.Â
He kept you tugged tightly to him as you both left the building, quickly slipping into the alleyway. To say you were scared was an understatement. You still didnât fully understand what was going on, mostly on Jayâs side. He seemed so ready to hand you over for the money, what difference would it make if he just left you here? Why go through the trouble of getting you out of this place?Â
âJay,â you called for him, but he ignored you. Just gripping your arm tighter as he led you in and out and around different buildings and alleyways. Stopping anytime someone walked by or got too close, Jay held his breath every single time as if it would help hide the two of you. But before he knew it, you both were approaching the fence, seeing the hole he and his team has used to get in and out was not patched up, âFuck,â he cursed under his breath.Â
Jay ran his hands through his hair, then grabbed your arm again, pulling you down the fence line. Eyes searching for an opening. Every safe zone had one. A little door in the fence that would lead out in case of evacuation. Youâd need a military card to get access for it to open, but Jay had ways to break it.Â
You both finally reached that door, the keycard scanner blinking green, showing it was working. Jay dropped the backpack to the ground, pulling out some tools.Â
âWhat are you doing??â You whispered, eyes darting to her surrounding area, âWhat if you set off an alarm like last time?âÂ
Jay chuckled, âIâve done this before, the factory was rigged from the start.â It was the first time even talking about the factory. Jay used the screwdriver's flat end to pry open the lid, looking at the series of wires, âTime to get to work.â You watched as he cut wires and replaced them, the little flashing green light turning red, then flashing back to green and the door unlocked and slowly opened, âMagic.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, âWe donât have time for this.âÂ
Jay threw the tools back into the backpack, quickly standing up and reaching for your hand. The two of you were barely three steps out of the zone when five figures with tickets pointing directly at you two appeared. Jay flung you behind him, aiming his shotgun at Soobin.Â
âShould have known youâd try to escape,â the blonde boy hissed, âCouldnât leave well enough alone, could you?âÂ
âIâm NOT letting you keep her here,â Jay barked back.Â
Taehyun chuckled, âWhy does it matter to you what we would do with her here? Donât you only care about the money sheâs worth?âÂ
âI donât see four million dollars in your hands, Kang,â Jay snapped, eyes burning holes into Taehyunâs chest but kept his gun aimed at Soobin, âAnd since I donât see the fucking money, weâre leaving.âÂ
âJust think what the capital would do,â Yeonjun said, âFar worse than her staying safe here.âÂ
Jay gritted his teeth, âYou wouldnât keep her safe. Youâd use her!âÂ
The smile on Soobinâs face told him everything he needed to know. They were going to use you in any way possible and you werenât going to survive it and if you did, you wouldnât be the same.Â
The five of them took one step closer and Jay felt like he was about to combust, âTake one more fucking step and Iâll shoot!â He yelled, darting the barrel at each of them.Â
âItâs five against one,â Kai teased, taking another few steps forward, âWhat the fuck are you goingââÂ
One moment Kai was standing, the next he was on the ground, blood pooling from his thigh. His hands were quickly covered in his own blood as he put pressure on the wound, his blue hair sticking to his face from the sweat he had just broken out in. Teeth gritting and eyes that could kill were staring right back at Jay.Â
Kaiâs four friends rushed to him, each of them now looking at Jay as well, âI fucking told you to not take another step. Iâll kill you all if you so much as lay a finger or come near her!!âÂ
Soobinâs smile was gone and replaced with pure rage, âGet the fuck out of my safe zone before I blow your brains out and feed you to the zombies out there.âÂ
You locked your jaw, gripping the barrel of Jayâs gun and forcing him to drop it, âLetâs fucking go!!â You snapped at him, fingers gripping the sleeve of his shirt, and pulling him away.Â
âYouâre going to regret your choices, Jongseong Park!â Huening Kai yelled, his voice echoing into the woods, âROT IN FUCKING HELL!!âÂ
Jay stopped listening as he was now the one gripping your waist and leading you into the dark dangerous woods, the sounds of Kaiâs screams and yelps becoming a distant noise.Â
Once Jay felt like it was safer, he removed his hand from your waist, and quickly walked ahead of you, âWhat the fuck was that, Jay?â You asked harshly, moving your legs to keep up at his pace.Â
âI told them to not take another step, and he did. Heâll suffer for his actions.â Jay didnât know what you wanted to tell you, he did what he had to to get you out of there and he didnât care if you agreed or not.Â
âYou could have killed him!!â Jay just shrugs and keeps on walking. You clenched your fists at your side, digging your fingers into the fabric of your jeans.Â
âThis is life as a smuggler,â Jay finally said after a few moments of silence, âYou sometimes have to pull the trigger to survive.â
âWe could have just run out!!âÂ
âNo,â he hissed, âThey wouldnât have allowed that! I did what I had to!âÂ
âAnd it was wrong!âÂ
Jay stopped to turn and face you, the clear desperation and anger still on his face, âI donât regret doing what needed to be done in order to protect you. I wasnât going to let those assholes hurt you.âÂ
You tried to read his face and look for any signs of the truth. There was more to this than him just protecting you for the money. You were filled with more confusion as you looked at him, trying to read his cold eyes, but still found nothing. Jay quickly turned away from you and continued walking. You tried multiple more times to get him to explain his actions, but he kept ignoring you. And you eventually gave up for the night.Â
â
To say over the next few days youâve wanted nothing more than to bash Jayâs skull into the next tree you see would be an understatement. His attitude towards you got worse. He started to ignore you even more and only spoke to you to ask and make sure you were okay, if you were hungry, tired, or needed any rest. Outside of that? Itâs like you didnât exist.Â
You tried asking a few times about his actions at the previous safe zone, to see what even prompted him to make such a choice when you could have just run out. The gate was already open, so shooting Kai wasnât needed to survive. There could have been another way.Â
Jay tried to fight off every feeling he felt. Specifically towards you and the other five back at the zone. Half of him wanted to go back and kill them all for so much thinking about using you, the other half of him wished he didnât have to pull that trigger. He struggled to understand his feelings for you, the protectiveness he felt, the need to hold you close to him and keep you in his eyesight the entire time, the want to kiss you again, to feel your warmth. Everything mixed so deeply within him and confused him. Where did the lines blur? And where did they not? Is he wanting to protect you for that fat paycheck heâll receive? Or is it because he actually wants to protect you? Does he want to keep you close because he wants to close or because to make sure youâre safe and unharmed once youâre handed off to the capital? Does he want to kiss you again because he hasnât felt that sort of affection in a while, or because he actually wants to? He couldnât wrap his head around it. Or maybe he just wanted to shove the feelings away.Â
Jay was still deep in thought when something wet landed on his face. He stopped walking to glance up at the sky. You also looked up, a sigh leaving his lips, âLooks like itâs fixing to downpour.âÂ
âWe need to get somewhere safe,â you said, looking back at the man in front of you, still trying to read his face.Â
Jay just nods, then looks at the surrounding area, âThere should be a cave around here. Let's go.âÂ
You wanted to ask him how he just knows that there is a cave nearby. It makes you question how many smuggling missions heâs gone on. How many times he risked his life out there time and time again? From his attitude and cold demeanor, itâs obvious heâs done this more times than he probably wanted to even count.Â
You followed him nonetheless, followed alongside a mountain that eventually a tall chain-linked fence got attached to, leading to a gate that was already opened with vines and grass growing around it.Â
âWas this a safe zone?â you asked, âit looks abandoned.âÂ
âBecause it is,â Jay sighs, âIt was a smaller one, could only fit a couple hundred. Itâs a shame what happened to it.âÂ
You followed him past the gate and slowly to the hole in the mountain where a massive steel door stood at the entrance of the cave, âWhat happened?âÂ
There was a panel on the wall beside the door, showing that it needed a code for the door to open. You were about to lose hope, thinking youâd have to find another place, but Jay reached his hand to the panel, pressing 0428, and the door slowly opened.Â
âHow do you know the code?âÂ
âUsed to make smuggling runs here when it was still an active zone,â he doesnât so much even glance at you as he walks inside, âThe people who arenât a part of zones, who are against the government and zones altogether, a band of them came through here, tearing the place apart and left no survivors.âÂ
Your eyes dropped to the cave floor, âHow could humans do such a thing.â
Jay sighs, âI wish I knew. Iâm not any better, being a smuggler and doing my fair share ofâŚanyways, what happened to these people, to this zone, it haunted other smaller zones, forcing them to leave and join the bigger ones or flee to the capital.âÂ
You watched as the cave floor turned from rough stone to polished stone, your eyes lifting back up to take in your sleeping stop for the night. Jay hovered to the right of the wall, finding the power box and flipping the switch. Small lanterns covered the walls and ceiling. Multiple areas of the cave held beds lined to the wall along with showers, tubs, toilets, and kitchen appliances. There were a few areas that were for the children, toys lying on the floor and tables, and some of the beds.Â
Children were murdered here.Â
You grasped your hand over your chest, feeling how your heart clenched at the sight.Â
Jay turns back to look at you, his cold eyes softening, âIt was terrible. Heeseung and I got here just in time to see the bandits leave. It took everything for us not to fight them ourselves,â the look in your eyes told him enough how badly this place affected you already.
You took more glances around, âWhy does it not look likeââ
âLike it was torn apart?â Jay finished for you, dropping his backpack to the floor in front of one of the beds lined to the wall and setting his weapons onto the bed, âBecause my team came here and cleaned it up, hoping someday it can be lived in again. We come back every so often to make sure everything is fine and clean.âÂ
You watched as he sat on the bed, dropping his face into his palms. The rain finally touched down and thunder sounded, the lanterns flickering softly. Jay sighs and quickly stands back up, digging through a drawer to light a couple of candles in case the power does indeed go out. You continued to watch his every move. How can this person be so confusing? So cold and so selfless and full of love all at the same time. You could see it in his eyes how it hurt talking about what happened here. Jay was barely able to sit back down on the bed before you started talking.Â
âWhy did you shoot Kai?âÂ
Jay rolled his eyes, âCan you shut up about it? Thereâs that cold again.Â
You shook your head, âNo! I need to understand!âÂ
âWhat is there to understand, YN? I warned them what would happen if they took a step closer, and look what happened.â Pure rage filled his eyes once again, his jaw locking tight.Â
âThere had to have been another way! We could have just left!â You took a deep breath, clenching your fists, âYou could have killed them!âÂ
Jay scoffed with a smirk, shaking his head, âI could have, should have.âÂ
Now you were pissed off, âWhy? Huh? Explain that to me. I am NOT worth killing over!âÂ
Jay shot to his feet, pointing a finger at you, âDonât you fucking say that! Youâre worthââ
âFour million dollars, I fucking get it, Jay. All I am worth is that four million,â he swallowed, not saying a word and he flexed his fists at his sides. It was your turn to scoff and smirk, âNot worth anything more than just to get your damned money.âÂ
âSTOP talking like that,â he snapped.Â
âWhy should I?â You scoff again, âYouâve done nothingâNOTHINGâbut tell me and everyone else how much money I am worth. All you fucking care about is the monââÂ
Jay couldnât take it anymore, couldnât think straight as his feet dashed to you, hands cupping your face and lips attaching to yours, slamming his body into yours with such force that it startled you. His lips moved quickly against yours, brows furrowing and eyes closed tightly as he was trying his damndest to slow his heart rate, to not take out every emotion he had into kissing you, but his body failed him as he stayed connected to you, your hands slowly reaching up to touch his wrists, and it was enough to send him over the edge.Â
âYouâre worth so, so, so much more,â he said between kisses, his hands dropping to your waist, âI canât hold myself back when it comes to you, I want you near me all the time. Itâs taken everything in me to not jump your bones every second of every single day.âÂ
You leaned more into him, accepting him and his truth that he was finally spilling to you after so long.Â
âI donât give a fucking shit about that money, the capital can fucking keep it. Youâre worth everything to me and I am so fucking crazy about you.â Jay slid his mouth from yours and down to your neck, leaving small bites as he trailed down to your shoulder, his hands now under your shirt and quickly lifting it up and over your head. Your hands rushed to pull his shirt from him, needing to feel him skin-to-skin.Â
You barely had his shirt on the floor when his chest connected to yours and lips back on yours, âI canât get enough of you,â he whispers, âI canât stop feeling for you. I want you. All of you. Please give yourself to me.âÂ
Jay never was able to call someone his own. Heâs had girlfriends and flings, yeah, but never someone that was actually his. Someone he could protect and love with every ounce he had. And it took kissing you in that factory for everything to make sense. He met you for a reason, whether that was some wack chance of fate or luck. He was meant to go through the hell he did to find you. And he wasnât going to let you go now.Â
âIâm yours,â you whispered back, âI am all yours.â Youâd be lying if you said you didnât have feelings for him. That you longed to feel him kiss you again, to touch you, hold you, and everything in between. Heâs driven you crazy since day one, you should have known how hard you would have fallen.Â
Jay deepened the kiss even more, slowly pulling you back with him until reaching one of the beds against the wall, one hand reaching back up to your neck, then the other wrapping behind your back as he swiftly turned you around and laid you on your back, âSay it again,â he asked, his fingers tracing down your shoulders, pulling the straps of your bra down then sliding his hands underneath to unclasp it and toss it off to the floor, âsay it again please.âÂ
You swallowed, staring up into his eyes. And for the first time, you were able to finally read him. He wanted you in every way, âIâm yours.âÂ
He slides his hands down to your jeans, unbuttoning them and looping his fingers between the fabric of both your jeans and panties and your skin and pulling them down, âAgain.âÂ
You bit your button lip and smirked up at him, âShould I?âÂ
Jay stood on his knees, slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, âIf you want this dick, I suggest you do.âÂ
You watch him with lust in your eyes as he slides out of his pants and boxers, his hand wrapping around his cock as he leaned back to hover over you, pumping himself slowly, âI said again.âÂ
âI am yours.âÂ
Jay tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, hands going to your thighs and lifting them up, wrapping them around his waist and lining his cock up with your cunt.Â
âYouâre mine?â he breathes.Â
âYours.âÂ
Jay slides his hands up your body, clasping his fingers around yours tightly, pushing his hips forward until his cock is buried deep within you, âMine, all mine,â he whispers into your ear, slowly sliding out and pushing back in.Â
His lips kissed down to your neck as he picked up his pace, using your hands pressed into the mattress as his leverage to kiss your cervix with the tip of his dick, grinding into you hard. Your moans sent chills down his spine, edging him to fuck into you faster. God, you felt so good. He only dreamed what your pussy would feel like wrapped around him. It was as if your pussy was made for him, made to fit and take his cock so fucking good. His. All his.Â
âJay,â you moaned out his name, your hands now tangled in his dyed hair as one of his hands grasped your thigh, and the other on your face, âAre you mine, too?âÂ
âOh, baby,â he groans into your neck, âIâve been yours.âÂ
Thunder crashed outside, flickering the lights a couple of times before shutting them off completely. The candles are the only source of light. But it couldnât have been more perfect. Yours and Jayâs moans mixed with the sound of the rain. His cock works against your sweet spot and nails dig into the plush of your thighs. He was going dizzy at the feeling of you, of the emotions youâve made him feel. Your sex felt like heaven, you felt like heaven in this hell.Â
âIâll never let anyone hurt you,â he kisses your neck, âWonât let anyone touch you,â kisses your jawline, âIâd kill for you,â finally kissing your lips, âYouâre mine. All mine.âÂ
You kissed him back harder, pulling him as close as possible to you as you reached your climax, squeezing your legs tighter around his waist.Â
âFuck,â he hisses, âIâm gonna cum too,â he pumped into you faster, âcall me yours, say my name, f-fuck, please say Iâm yours.âÂ
You tightened your legs around him, kissing from his lips to his ear, âJay, youâre mine. Mine, mine, mine.âÂ
He clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut as he cums, âShit, baby,â he slowly lays on top of you gently, breathing in your scent, and wraps his arms underneath you to hold you against him. He took a couple of deep breaths and chuckled, âI am so glad you stole our drugs that day.âÂ
â
you lay in his arms as he traced his fingers up and down your bare back, the rain still crashing down to the earth, it being the only sound you could hear besides the beating of Jayâs heart in your ear from laying against his chest.Â
Jay leaned against the wall the bed connected to, his eyes scanning the empty safe zone, trying to remember how much life was once held here. How life sits here now. Jay let his brain wonder about the different possibilities and outcomes of this zone, debating what to do and how to do it. His train of thought derailed when you shifted yourself up further, laying your head into his neck, âI thought you were asleep?âÂ
You gently shook your head, âI donât want to sleep and miss out on this moment.âÂ
Jay chuckled and leaned his head against the top of yours, âYou need some rest, Iâm here and wonât leave you.âÂ
âThatâs not what Iâm worried about, I just want to savor the moment for when you go back to being cold towards me once we leave here.âÂ
Jay chuckles again, âBaby, I wonât. I was cold to keep the lines from blurring and my heart from feeling, but look how that turned out?âÂ
You giggled when he slid his hands under the blanket you two shared and squeezed the fat of your ass, âDidnât think you ever felt anything for me besides the money, you confused the hell out of me, Jay.âÂ
He pressed a kiss to your forehead, âI know, I am sorry.â You shivered, so he pulled the blanket up higher on your naked body, running his hands up and down your back to help warm you.Â
Even though youâve spent enough time with this man to know how he is, you still donât know a lot about him besides the things heâs willingly shared with you. And since curiosity consumed you, mostly now that heâs accepted his feelings for you, maybe heâll be more inclined to talk. Here goes nothing, âWhat did you do before the outbreak?â you softly asked while still treading on eggshells, âHow was life for you before it?âÂ
Jay takes a deep inhale, holding his breath for a couple of seconds before letting it out and wrapping his arms tighter around you, âHeeseung and I were best friends before all this. Grew up together actually. His family lived across the street from mine, and being the only child, I attached myself to Heeseung fairly quickly.âÂ
You could see it. With how Heeseung and Jay relied on each other back in their home zone and even when they cornered you when you stole the drugs they were supposed to smuggle, the two of them stuck to each other.Â
âHe became like my older brother, and I am a younger one for him. When the outbreak first happened, Heeseung and IâŚâ he took another deep breath in, and you felt how tense his body became under you. So you reached a hand up to his chest, feeling that tension loosen, âWe were fucking around with a few other kids in our town, shooting hoops at the court while passing a blunt between each of us. I was actually supposed to be grounded, I smart-mouthed off to my parents. I stuck out my bedroom window and jumped into Heeseungâs car and we went off to the basketball court. We were there for roughly thirty minutes before the first bomb dropped to take out the infected.âÂ
You remembered the bombs very well. Remembered the sirens going off. People were going crazy to try and leave town to escape it. Only very few were lucky to get out. And since the two of you were lying here together, it was obvious you two were part of the lucky ones.Â
Jay continued, âHeeseung and I never ran back home so fast, only to see our street was completelyâŚgone. We lost our families, and if we didnât sneak outâŚwe wouldnât be here right now. The only thing that kept me alive to this very day was Heeseung. If I didnât have himâŚâÂ
âJay,â you whispered, lifting yourself up to press the side of your face to his, âyou have him, donât think about what could have happened. You have him, and always will.âÂ
He took a couple of deep breaths, leaning more into you, âI know. Iâm lucky to have him as a brother. Same to Jake and Sunghoon.â
âHow did you meet those two?âÂ
Jay laughed, âWe found them in an abandoned grocery store.âÂ
You tried to not giggle, but let it out anyway, âAre you serious?âÂ
âI am being so deadass,â he laughed more with you, you falling in love with how he smiles and the sound of his laugh. This Jay right here, this was his true self, âIt was roughly about four months after the outbreak, so still before the safe zones. Heeseung and I were running low on food and we stumbled into a grocery store praying for food but finding Jake and Sunghoon with every food item possible shoved into the back corner of one of the offices hoarding it all for themselves.â
You just nodded, âYeah from the small amount I know about them, that sounds about right.âÂ
Jay agrees, âIt was a sight to see thatâs for sure. It took them everything to not kill us. They were held up there for a couple of weeks before we found them. But eventually, we got them to share their food and they justâŚfollowed us out of the grocery store when we left a day later. The four of us have been together since then.âÂ
âSounds like you guys found each other at the right times. They say you always find the people you need for your life at the right time regardless of the situation.â You slid back down, lying your head back on his neck, âJust like how you found me.â
Jay squeezed you tightly, âI have to agree with that statement. Itâs like I am your god or something.âÂ
You playfully slapped his bicep, âOh shut up! You needed me just as much as I needed you.âÂ
âI did, I needed you so bad and it took me meeting you to realize it.â Jay now slid down the bed, lying his head on the pillow and pulling you fully against him, resting his forehead against yours, âThe four of us traveled for days to get to the safe zone we are at now. It was still newly built and just redeemed safe to let people in. Been there since, obviously, and eventually, we are where we are now. Being smugglers to keep our place and food in our bellies.âÂ
You looked into his eyes, seeing all the hurt and pain heâs been through and even put himself through to continue to survive. To keep breathing. Jay kept fighting to stay alive for his brothers and kept going for someday finding more of a reason to keep his heart beating. He found that reason the moment he saw you. Even though you were pointing a gun to his head.Â
âYouâve fought long enough, Jay,â you whisper, brushing your lips against his, âPlease take the money when you hand me over.âÂ
Jay scoffs, âYNââ
âNo,â you interrupted, âTake it. It would help you and the others. You all donât need to fight anymore.âÂ
Jay just looks back at you, wondering how the fuck could he just take that money and run. To leave you with the capital. He couldnât do it. He wonât do it.Â
âIâll find a way to get the money and bring you back home,â it sunk your heart hearing him call his safe zone your home. You had a home again. With him, âThat way we can be set and I donât have to leave you.âÂ
You softly kissed him. Moving your lips so gently against his. His hands moved from your back to your waist and pressed your body against his.Â
Jay was home. Jay IS home. And youâd take up his mantle of fighting to protect him now. To keep him safe. Jay deserves it more than anything.Â
â
To both your and Jayâs surprise, the next three-month journey was actually really smooth. Jay didnât know if he should be worried or relieved that everything had gone smoothly. Heâs tried to keep a positive mind, to push out that smuggler mindset heâs been in for years, wanting to be a better man for you. But Jay knew even if he wanted to drop that life, he was going to have to keep up that fighter persona. That protectiveness. Thereâs no doubt Soobin and his dogs already ran their mouths about you being immune, spreading the word to anyone and everyone they could. Probably more than likely putting a bounty over Jayâs head because of him shooting Kai. Jay had to start thinking more clearly about his future, about yours, if he wanted to keep the both of you alive for that future. Because he canât live without you now, and he refuses to let anyone take you from him.Â
You walked ahead of him, your palms facing outwards, brushing your fingers over the flowers and grass that grew tall, loving the way it tickled your hands. To say youâre happier than before would be an understatement. Jay finally confessing his deep feelings flipped a switch within you, like you have something more to live for besides just simply surviving for your fallen friends. At the start of this journey, you refused to let the capital take you, to use you as a curse for everyone else. But after meeting and falling in love with JayâŚknowing that if he somehow gets bitten one of these daysâŚthe cure that would come from you would save him. You didnât care about saving everyone else, just as long as you could save him, thatâs all that mattered.Â
You glanced up ahead, and the building you assumed was the capital, came into view. It looked like an old hospital. Overgrown with vines and weeds. If you didnât know what to look for, you would have assumed this was just like any other normal old abandoned building like the rest of the world. But Jay gave you details on what to look for.Â
âLooks like we finally made it,â You said, turning to look at Jay. He looks at you, then at the building, giving a nod. You started to shake, the fear of going inside taking over. You didnât know what to expect. How will they treat you? Would it be filled with old doctors or politicians who think they know what is best for the world? Many more questions rolled through you and it took Jay taking your hand into his for your train to derail.Â
âItâs going to be okay, I wonât let them hurt you, I promise,â And Jay meant it. He will stand beside you every step of the way. Letting the capital take what was needed then getting the hell out of there and back home.Â
Jay leads you to the entrance, staring up at the camera that hangs from the ceiling above the door. Jay waved a hand at the camera, âHello?? How do you expect to get people in and out if thereâs no way to fucking knock??â Glad to see Jay didnât completely go soft on you. You giggled at his straightforwardness, squeezing his hand.Â
The door sounded with a click and opened. Jay squeezed your hand back before taking a step in, leading you in behind him. The entrance was dimly lit halfway, completely colored gray with hospital signs hanging to the walls. If you didnât know any better, you would have figured this place was a disaster waiting to happen, that no soul would be living here. But that changed once the entrance expanded out into what looked to be the lobby of the hospital. The gray turned to white and bright lights filled the room. You didnât have time to process the new brightness when seven men appeared in front of you and Jay. Not like magic or anything, your eyes just couldnât adjust to the bright lights in time to see them approach.Â
Jay gave each of them a nod, âNice to see you again, Shotaro, Sungchan, Wonbin, Sohee, Seunghan, Eunseok, and Anton. Been awhile.âÂ
You followed Jayâs head movement to each of the seven of them, taking in their names and faces before looking over at Jay confused for a solid few seconds before remembering that Jay has been to the capital a few times in his life, of course he knew the people here.Â
âPleasure to see you, as always,â Shotaro said to him, giving a nod back, âSee the trip here didnât kill you.âÂ
Jay just chuckles, releasing his hand from yours, âItâs going to take a lot more than some zombies to take me down.â Jay knew joking with these people would be the best way to fit in and get things done. Shotaro and his crew were different from Soobin and his. Two different types of personalities here.Â
âI am assuming this is the immune one?â Sungchan asked, tilting his head. His eyes scan your body up and down then stop at the bite mark on your wrist. You ditched the wrap and long-sleeve shirts back at the cave zone, the summer weather being too hot to keep up with it. Your bite was pretty much healed, no longer infected, and just looked like a normal wound in healing.Â
âI have a name,â you growled at him, âIâm not just some âimmune oneâ or whatever.â
All seven of them smirked at you, making you cling to Jayâs arm, âFeisty one, isnât she?â Wonbin chuckled with a raise of his brow, âYou sure know how to pickâem, Jay.âÂ
Jay just tried to give them his best smile, âThis is YN. And yes sheâs the one Jungkook called and talked to Namjoon about.âÂ
Namjoon?
âJoon is busy in a meeting,â Sohee sighs, âHe told us to apologize on his behalf and welcome you into the capital.âÂ
Seunghan added, âHe had to step in the moment you walked up to the door. He truly wants to meet you two here.âÂ
âWe were expecting seven more of you thoughâŚâ Shotaro said with his eyes scanning the two of you, âWhere are your other six?âÂ
Jay shrugs, âThey had other important matters to take care of, so I volunteered to make the trip myself.âÂ
âAhhh,â Eunseok cooed, âI sometimes forget the seven of you are the best smugglers down in the southwest.âÂ
âBest of the best,â Jay awkwardly smiled, wanting to get this small talk over with, âAre we going to stand and wait for Namjoon to finish his meeting or???âÂ
Shotaro bowed a bit, âMy apologies, you two must be exhausted from your long trip,â He stood back upright, âAnton, please take our friends to their rooms.âÂ
âWeâll share one, thanks for the thought though,â Jay was quick to say.Â
Shotaro just looked back and forth between the two of you, and then the realization hit, âAhh! You two are a pair. ThatâsâŚinteresting considering Jay was a lone wolf when it came to mating.â
Jay just rolls his eyes at the comment, âPeople can change. Youâd know if you left the capital more.âÂ
Shotaro just keeps his wide smile on display, âAnton.âÂ
Anton nods, waving the two of you towards him, âWe saved the best rooms possible for you,â Jay leads first, dragging you close behind him, âWeâve also given you badges with access to every floor and room in the building. Given as a thanks for your sacrifice, YN. Youâre doing the world a massive favor by coming here.â You just nod, confident that youâre only doing this for Jay to protect him, âWe have a meeting set up for you to keep with one of the doctors later this evening, to kinda help ease your mind about all this.âÂ
You didnât care and stopped listening to Anton explain everything. All you cared about was getting to the room to shower off the outside smell, dirt, and grime. To get in fresh clothing and get a much-needed nap before this place runs you left and right with tests.Â
Anton finally let you into the room, handing off the badges to Jay, and with a nod, he left, closing the door behind him. The room was obviously small, being that it was an old hospital room. But it was still cozy, very bedroom-like. Paintings hung on the walls along with a medium-sized dresser with a mirror atop sat in the middle with the queen-sized bed right beside it and the bathroom sitting off to the left of the room. You made your way to the dresser, opening the first drawer to see plenty of clean undergarments for all genders, the second drawer was sleepwear, and the third and fourth drawer was filled with normal everyday shirts and jeans. You pulled pieces of clothing from each drawer and rushed to the entrance of the bathroom but stopped.Â
âCan I shower first?â you asked, turning to look at Jay who was sitting at the edge of the bed, holding an envelope, âJay? Whatâs that?âÂ
He looks up at you, âIt was slipped under the door after we walked in. Itâs the money they owe me for bringing you here.âÂ
You swallowed, watching as he opened the envelope and pulled out the cash. Jay felt like his heart nearly stopped at the amount of money he held in his hands, fingers slipping through each bill to make sure it was real and the actual amount they said they would give. And sure enough, it was.Â
Jay looked at the cash and slowly put it back in the envelope. You could see the gears turning, âDonât you even dare think about not taking it.âÂ
He looks at you, was he that obvious? âYN, baby, I canât take it.âÂ
You quickly rushed to him, grabbing the envelope and shoving it deep into his backpack, âYou came all this way for this, donât back out of it now.âÂ
Jay stood to his feet and pulled you to him, âI donât care about the money! Iâve told you before that youâre worth so much more than money.âÂ
You cupped his face, âYou and the six back at home need this money, think about the life you can give them once we go back. Please donât give it up.â Jay knew you were right. He made this trip in the first place all for his brothers and the money that would help give them a better life. So he nods, giving you a soft smile and picking you up into his arms, carrying you to the bathroom.Â
âWeâre both stinky, letâs wash off, ya?â He said, placing kisses all over your face and kicking the bathroom door shut.Â
â
The rest of your day was filled with following around one of the seven boys to multiple different stops with Jay close on your heels. The first stop was the cafeteria for lunch, eating the best chicken sandwich you think you ever had. The second stop was to one of the labs for some doctors to draw your blood and give you some juice and five minutes of sitting before sending you on the way. The third stop was the meeting with the doctor who explained the procedure of the blood being drawn from the first stop and how taking from the bone marrow during the procedure and then talking about somehow mixing other things to create the cure? You were no scientist nor a doctor and you couldnât remember how they find cures in all the horror and survival movies youâve seen in your life to even get close to knowing how it would work. Jay looked just as confused as you did. At least you all were on the same page. Somewhat. The fourth stop was back at the room, where you and Jay cuddled and took a good hour nap before Sungchan knocked on the door saying it was time for dinner.Â
You two ate with the seven boys, them explaining how Namjoon was once again tied up and couldnât make it to the meal to greet us. Jay just waved it off. He didnât care about any more meetings, he just wanted to eat and go back to the room. The day was tiring, the whole trip was tiring. Tomorrow would more than likely be another busy day and all you wanted to do was change into your pajamas and hit the sack. The seven of the boys talked a lot, made a lot of jokes, and continuously teased Jay for being in a relationship as if it was such a hard thing for their minds to process. You tried to laugh at everything, to understand the jokes. You werenât sure if it was the nerves or your exhaustion making it hard to play along. Thankfully dinner finally ended and you found yourself back in the comfort of your temporary room.Â
âThereâs only silk lace gowns in here?â You sigh, digging through the whole drawer to find a pair of pajama pants and a shirt, âWhy are there ONLY silk lace gowns???âÂ
Jay peeked over your shoulder, his hands reaching around you to pull an emerald green gown out of the drawer, âI mean this is the capital, everything here is probably fancy in some form.âÂ
You take the gown from his hands with a sigh, âItâll have to do I suppose.â Jay just gives you a small smile and nods as he backs away and sits on the bed, untying the laces to his boots.Â
You glanced back at the silk gown on your hands and up to Jay. Maybe you were reading a bit into it, but why did he choose this color? Out of all the pretty colors in that drawer, his eyes went to this one. You tried to push down the thoughts, remembering the time back at the safe zone when he said your naked body was just skin. How he didnât have time to deal with these types of things. But he was also in a relationship with you now? The two of you never discussed what you were after sex that one night. Heâs made love to you multiple times since then but still never once said what you both were. Maybe he was just bullshitting when he saw you naked the very first time, but then again he didnât see you in that light before. Maybe again you were just overthinking it. Heâs never seen you in such clothing, so maybe thatâs why he chose this color, maybe he wanted to see you in it.Â
You decided to stop thinking too much about it and slowly stripped out of your clothes, dropping them down to the floor with a thud, causing Jayâs eyes to lift up to you as he started on his second boot. You kept eye contact with him as you slid the straps of your bra down your shoulders and unclasped the back, holding the bra in place on your breast as you pulled your arms through the loops. Jayâs eyes left yours and went to your breasts, watching as you dropped the bra to the floor. His body tensed. You had him wrapped around your finger. His eyes shot back up to yours, his face still so calm and collected. You finally pulled the laced emerald silk gown over your head and onto your body, fitting strangely well to your frame and tight in the right places.Â
You slowly crawled into the bed and laid down, his body shifted to face you as you got comfortable on the bed. Jay was losing his mind and was fighting his demons to keep from jumping you and ripping that pretty little gown off your body. His mind wanders to all the things he wants to do, where he wants his hands, and where he wants his mouth. He stood from the bed, sliding his feet out of his boots, and pulling his shirt from his body. You bit your lip at the sight of his torso, how his tan muscular skin moved as he reached for the button on his jeans, the tint in his pants was enough to tell you that you did affect him. That this color was chosen on purpose.Â
Jay dropped the jeans to the floor then crawled onto the bed and hovered over you, âYou look way too damn good in green, you should wear it more often, baby,â all you could do was nod and rub your thighs together. Jay glanced down at your legs, a smirk falling to his lips, âWant me so bad you canât form a sentence?âÂ
âJay,â you whispered, âPlease.âÂ
He bent down and kissed you, his right hand already touching the ends of the gown, âYouâre so sexy,â he breathed between kisses, âYou know that?â You didnât have time to respond as his lips left yours to trail down your neck and then to your shoulder, biting softly at your skin, loving the way you squirmed underneath him. His hand was now under the gown, slowly riding up your thigh. His moved down lower, leaving opened-mouth kisses down to your collarbone, between your breasts, and down your stomach, both his hands were now under the gown and sliding up and up, bunching the gown at your waist, âIâm craving dessert, and you look just like something I want to eat.âÂ
You gasp at his words, feeling your slick pool in your panties. Jay slid down to your heat, spreading your legs apart, clicking his tongue at the wet spot, âAlready so wet for me? I havenât even touched you yet.â It was driving him crazy seeing you already soaked for him. How much more perfect could you get?? He rubs his knuckle against your folds, pushing the lips apart as he digs his knuckle further in, âSo wet for me, baby,â he coos, licking at his bottom lip. Jay didnât think he could wait much longer, he needed your taste in his mouth. To devour you. To make you cum against his tongue. God, itâs all he wanted at this moment. Jay looped his fingers at the hems of your panties and you lifted your hips up as he slid them down and threw them to the floor to be completely forgotten about.Â
Jay lifted your legs onto his shoulders as he settled back between your legs, using his index and ring fingers to spread your cunts lips, âfuccckk,â he groaned, loving how some of your slick was slowly dripping out of your cunt. Your hands flew to his hair when you felt his tongue press flat to your heat, licking up and stopping at your clit and wrapping his lips and tongue around the sensitive bud.Â
âShit, Jay!â you moaned, gripping his hair tight between your fingers. His hum of pleasure vibrated against you, making your toes curl into the sheets. With his other hand, he slid two fingers into your hole, pumping in and out of you slowly. Jay could get lost in your pussy, could stay here for hours if he didnât need oxygen to continue breathing, licking up every ounce of your juices you could offer to him. You clenched around his fingers and gripped his hair even tighter, letting out soft moans at the feeling of him on your clit and cunt.Â
âBe louder, baby, I want to hear you,â he breathes, taking a few deep breaths in before attaching himself back to your clit, sucking on it softly and pushing his fingers in and out faster, keeping your lips spread with his other fingers. You were getting dizzy at the sensation, brain clouding and his fingers and lips being the only thing you could focus on as you chanted out his name over and over. It was magic to his ears, truly. The best sound heâs ever heard next to your normal voice.Â
He detached from your clit and replaced his fingers in your hole with his tongue, reaching so far into you that his nose was now rubbing your clit along with his middle finger. The knot of your climax was about to snap. You tried to hold on for as long as you could, waiting to savor this feeling but also wanting the sweet release it would give you. Jay wasnât giving you much of a choice, not with how he worked his tongue in your cunt and his finger on your clit. His whole job here was making you cum on his tongue, and he wasnât going to stop until he got what he desired. So you gave in, letting the knot snap in two and your body shuddered. Jay moaned against your cunt, licking up every last drop of your cum with his tongue, âFuck you taste so good.âÂ
He left soft kisses on your heat and both your inner thighs before hovering back over you completely, âYouâre such a good girl for me, my sweet, continue being good and take this cock, ya?â you quickly nodded, reaching for his boxers to slide them off him. He chuckled as he helped you remove the last bit of his clothing, âimpatient are we?âÂ
âJay, just please fuck me already, I need you.âÂ
He clicks his tongue, smirking at you, âGotta give the lady what she wants, right?âÂ
Not another word was said as he slides into you, fucking you already so hard and fast it made your overstimulation way worse. But it was soâsoâgood. He kisses you, forcing his tongue down your throat, getting a taste of yourself as you sucked on his tongue, wrapping your muscle around him in a perfect dance. Jay wrapped your legs around him and pinned your hands above your head, squeezing them tightly as he continued to rock his hips against yours, kissing down from your lips to your ear, âYouâre stuck with me, understand?â he breathes, his breath sending chills down your body, âI love you, YN. I am so in love with you.âÂ
Tears filled your eyes as you wrapped your legs and released your hands from his and wrapped your arms tightly around him, squeezing him so tight against your body, wanting to feel every inch of him against you, âI love you too. Oh god, I love you too.âÂ
Jay moved faster, âSay it again, tell me you love me again.âÂ
You did, you chanted how much you loved him over and over until he was spilling his seed deep within you. So out of breath but continued to kiss all over your face and slowly rock his hips against yours to chase out his high. If this is what it felt like to be in love with Jay and be loved by him, you didnât need any other emotion ever again.Â
â
Jay rolled over, stretching his arm out on your side of the bed, surprise took him when he didnât feel you there, running his hand up and down the spot you should be in. He fluttered his eyes open, the early morning sunlight shining against the paintings on the wall and the gray wallpaper. Jay lifted himself on his forearms and elbows, the cool air sending chills down his bare back as the blanket slid down to his waist. He looked at the spot you slept in, tracing his hand back over it and realizing the sheets were cold. Youâve been gone for a while.Â
âYN?â Jay calls, thinking maybe you were in the bathroom, seeing that the door was closed, âBaby?âÂ
No answer. Jay lets out an uneasy sigh, clearly not liking the silence of the room. He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of the bed, pulling his boxers off from the floor and stepping into them, and snapping them at his hips, âBaby?â He tried calling again, walking to the bathroom door and carefully knocking, âYN, this isnât funny.â Jay quickly opened the door, seeing the bathroom was empty.Â
Panic started to settle in.Â
Jay tried to keep calm, hoping you were just at the other labs the doctors and other officials of the capital have said. But all the hope was gone when Jay turned around, barely catching his naked top half in the mirror, seeing the red and irritated skin at the edge of his back right under the shoulder, the small puncture wound still clear and visible. He was drugged. And you were taken.Â
Jay quickly rushed back into the room, pulling his clothes onto his body and picking up his backpack from the floor, noticing yours was still sitting in the same spot. Jay felt the panic deep in his core. You wouldnât have just walked out of the room without telling him or bringing him with you. Jayâs suspicions only got confirmed after seeing the weapons from your and his backpack was missing.Â
âShit,â he mumbles, looking in the corner to see his shotgun was also missing from where he placed it against the wall. Jay dumped out everything from the backpacks and drawers, trying to find any weapon possible that they might have overlooked. But everything was gone. The only thing he found was the snacks and other foods and water the two of you had been carrying the whole trip and the white envelope with the money in it. Jay wanted to tear the money into pieces, to burn this whole place down from them taking you from him. He was going crazy and needed to find you, and fast. He pulled everything back into the backpack, combining your stuff with his. Jay took one last look at the envelope and then shoved it into the backpack.Â
It was one problem after the other when he tried to walk out of the room to find the door was locked from the outside, âFUCK!â he screamed, taking multiple steps back and rushing to the door, connecting his shoulder to the wood. Step back, ram the door, step back, ram the door. repeat. repeat. repeat. Jay shook out his hands and arms, giving it one last final shove and the door pushed open, the locks and doorknobs falling to the floor.Â
The hallway was dark except for the sunlight peeking through the windows. Not a damn soul was around. It was so silent you could probably hear the tectonic plates shifting within the earth. Jay treaded lightly, locking his jaw and clenching his fists as he slowly walked down the hall. This hospital was so full of life just yesterday, and now itâs like everyone is gone. This place once again looked abandoned before the capital officials took over. Jay figured it was before everyone knew the minute he woke up and saw you gone, all hell would break loose. Jay should have known. Should have listened to everyone who told them what would happen once he got you here. They were going to kill you. And he needed to stop it.Â
First, he needed his weapons back. Following the signs on the walls leading him to the armory. There were two guards on watch when he reached it, âFucking typical,â he whispered to himself, âAll for little ole me?â Jay knew Namjoon was more than likely on high alert, knowing what moves Jay would be making and how heâd make them. Jay and his team arenât the best smugglers around for nothing. He crouches down, slowly inching himself to the guards, assessing them before making another move. They both had knives and pistols attached to their hips with rifles in hand. Jay didnât have a lot of time to come up with a solid plan and acted quickly. All the years of surviving had led to this. All the years of killing before getting killed. Learning how to be sneaky and how to lie through his teeth as he stole and picked pocketed his enemies. The person he had to become because of this apocalypse. All led him here. Once Jay was close enough, he quickly stood and broke out into a sprint. The first guard didnât know what was happening by the time Jay reached him. His hands wrapped around his head and twisted, his body going limp at the crack of his neck. Jay worked fast before the guard's body hit the floor, stealing his knife and shoving it into the other guard's side between his ribs.Â
âNow you will give me the information I seek out, got it?â he hisses, âOr you will end up like your friend over there, ya?âÂ
The guard trembled in Jayâs hands, his eyes darting to his now-dead friend on the cold hospital floor, âWhat do you want?â he tried to snap back, but it was not having any effect on Jay whatsoever.Â
âWhere is she?â Jay growled against the manâs ear, âWhere. Is. YN?â Silence. Jay pushed the knife in further, the guard gritting his teeth to not scream at the pain, âWhere the fuck is my girlfriend?!â Jay was yelling now, no longer playing these games.Â
âSecond floor, last room on the right side,â the man grunted out, âBut itâs too fucking late,â Jayâs heart stopped, âThey already began the procedure before sunlight even came, busted in right after you two slept,â youâve been gone a lot longer than he thought. His panic sank further, âThey took from her blood until she passed out and drugged her to stay asleep,â the guard chuckled, âShe was a walking cure factory.âÂ
Jay shoved the knife deeper, âIs she alive?â The man groans in pain, âI SAID IS SHE STILL ALIVE!?âÂ
âYES!â he hissed, âBut not for long. Her blood was only doing so much. They are going to go for her bone marrow now. Going to use every last drop she can give until sheâs no longer breathing.âÂ
The man started to chuckle, but those chuckles changed into gurgles and he gasped for air before tipping over to the floor. Jayâs hands were trembling as he looked down at them, seeing the dark red tint staining his skin and the pool of it now covering the floor where Jay shoved the knife into the side of his neck. Jay swallowed and released a few deep breaths, recollecting himself and noticing his clothes now stained red. Jay sized up the first guard, thank god he looked to be about the same size as him.Â
Jay was quick at changing into the guard's uniform, stealing his pistol, knife, rifle, and keycards. Always take the keycards, you never know when youâll need them. He rushes into the armory, finding your pistol, his shotgun, and both your knives, shoving the smaller items into the backpack, and sliding his shotgun over his shoulder. Before Jay realized, he was stepping over the two dead guards and was up the stairs, making his way to the second floor. His legs shook all the way down into his boots. Trying to push out the images of the two lives he just ended. Jay has killed before during smuggling runs, but it never will get easier or something heâd get used to. This world created all this chaos and turned everyone into monsters. No one had a spot in heaven. Hell was the only final destination.Â
The jitters left once both feet touched the second floor, and the rifle pointed upwards. The only thing on his mind now was you and praying he wasnât too late. The floor was silent until he reached the corner of the building, where four guards were stationed outside the room. This was it. You were just behind those doors, hopefully still breathing. Jay didnât want to think about what would happen if he went in there and saw you dead. The things heâd doâŚ
You barely blinked in and out of consciousness, the bright lights shining on you from the ceiling were blinding, only being able to see white and the blue of the two doctors' lab coats. They talked between each other, not being able to make out any of the words they spoke. Your body hurts. Your head spun. Were you fixing to die? Where was Jay? Why did you feel so cold? Why did they take you from him the way they did? So many questions piled up in your brain. Jay is the main source of the questions. The main one was that he was safe. That he takes the money and runs so far away from here. That you died for this fucking cure in hopes if anything happened to him he wouldnât turn into the undead outside. He could survive and have a better life than before. Your thought process was interrupted when both doctors looked down at you and asked a question. You didnât know if you answered them or not, or couldnât remember if you did. There was a poke on your wrist, and everything went fuzzy and your eyes closed.Â
âSheâs asleep again,â one said, setting the syringe down on the table behind him and checking your vital signs on the monitor, âVitals are normal and steady, we canââ the doctor stopped speaking, whipping his head to the entrance of the room.Â
The other doctor looked at the one across from him, then turned to look at the door, then back to him, âWhat's wrong?âÂ
âYou didnât hear that?â he asked, his eyes widening.Â
âI think youâre being paranoid, letâs continue.âÂ
He didnât take his eyes off the door. Nor did he even have time to think about what happened next as Jay kicked the door open, his rifling pointing directly ahead. The doctor barely had time to see the dead bodies as the door closed behind Jay. Blood coated Jayâs face, hair, and clothes.Â
âJoon said heâd be out the whole fucking day!â the doctor closer to Jay shouts, reaching for the surgical knife on the small tray table.Â
âDonât fucking move!â Jay snapped, âBack away from her!âÂ
The two doctors moved, their hands raised above their heads. Jay looked at you. Your skin was pale and your lips purple. Bruises covered your arms and bare legs, proof enough that you didnât go down without a fight. You were hooked up to multiple different types of IVs. Jay tried to find any sign that you were breathing, eyes whipping to the monitor, watching as your vitals dropped. All Jay saw then was red. You were dying. He was losing you by the second. He couldnât waste any more time. So he pulled the trigger. Their screams and voices were muffled out by the buzzing in his ears from the anger and the fear of losing you. He canât lose you.Â
He dropped the rifle to the floor once the room stopped spinning, his legs dragging him to your side, hands immediately grabbing for you. Your skin was cold to the touch. He hissed out from the pain in his chest, the pain of his heart clenching thinking you already were between the lines of life and death. Praying you werenât.Â
âBaby,â he whimpered, tears swelling his eyes, âCome on, YN, please wake up.â Jay softly shook you, placing his ear over your mouth, feeling your breath push out. It was weak. So, so very weak. âBaby donât leave me, please.â Both his hands cupped your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks, âI canât live without you, please.â Jay searched the room, removing himself from you to pull open all the cabinets and drawers in search of some drug to get your heart pumping normally again. Anything to get your vitals back up. He found what he needed and rushed back to you, with an empty syringe, âForgive me, please,â he begged, pulling out the drug with the syringe needle, and filling it up, âForgive me for bringing you here. For gambling your life like this. I am so so so sorry.â With shaky hands, he finds a vein in your wrist, âI love you,â and gently pushes it into your skin, injecting the clear liquid into your body. Jay whips his head to the monitor, watching your heart rate pick up and your vitals start to normalize. He drops the syringe and falls to his knees, running his crusted red-stained hands through his blonde hair.Â
He doesnât know how long he sat there like that. It wasnât until you shifted on the table that he jumped back to his feet, coming back to reality and needing to get you out of there. Jay removed the IVs from your arms, bandaging them up and brushing your hair from your face, âBaby?â you fluttered your eyes, still too out of it to really open them. You knew Jay was finally with you, or that you were dreaming. Or even dead. You felt the warmth of his touch, heard his voice, and were barely able to make out his face. But he was here, nevertheless. Jay pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, âLetâs get you out of here.â Jay found your clothes and redressed you with them, tossing the hospital gown across the room. Jay took a final look at the room, seeing the vials filled with your blood and other chemicals. There were at least thirty of them. All were marked with tape that said âcureâ. âThose bastards.â he hissed in his brain. But the longer he stared at them, the angrier he got.Â
He carried you in his arms, rushing down to the ground level of the hospital, looking for a quick and easy way out. It was easy. A bit too easy. It was unsettling for Jay, something was off. It shouldnât be this easy.Â
âJay?â you softly whisper, feeling his strong arms squeeze you tighter. Finally becoming more aware of the drugs slowly wearing off.Â
âShhh, Itâs okay baby, Iâm right here,â he whispers back, eyes darting in every direction, waiting for something to happen. And then it did.Â
âLeaving without so much as a goodbye?âÂ
Jay stopped walking, his jaw clenching. You both were almost to the door, so close to leaving. But he turned anyway, seeing Namjoon standing there with his dimpled smile and hand folded behind his back. Shotaro, Eunseok, Sungchan, Seunghan, Wonbin, Sohee, and Anton standing directly behind him with guns pointing at Jay and you. Jay gritted his teeth, âNice to see you finally made your appearance.âÂ
Namjoon chuckled, âI am a busy man, what can I say? Being the leader of this operation is very time-consuming. My apologies for not being there sooner.â Jay just stared at him, holding you tighter to his chest, âI believe you have something of mine,â Namjoon said with a sigh, stepping forward, âGive it back, please.âÂ
Jay barked out a laugh, âShe doesnât belong to you. Or anyone for that matter. And weâre leaving.âÂ
Namjoon inhaled, held his breath for a few seconds, and then released it, âYou donât understand whatâs going on here, Jay.âÂ
âOh like the fuck I donât!â Jay yelled, taking a few steps back, âYouâre killing her!!âÂ
âA sacrifice that I am willing to make,â Jay hated the straight face Joon was making. Hated how he seemed to be okay with ending your life, âShe is special, Jay. She is so important to finding a cure.âÂ
âThen go find someone else thatâs immune!â Jay snapped, âLeave her out of it!âÂ
Namjoon smiles, âShe can save so many lives. Think about the people we can save, at her sacrifice. Think how the world can and will heal because of the sacrifice. Everything can go back to normal and she will be so worth it.âÂ
Jay clenched you tighter, âThe world can fucking burn. Sheâs worth more than whatever righteousness you think you have by doing this to someone innocent.âÂ
âWe arenât innocent,â Joon sighs again, âThis world made us into hunters, killers, and survivors. No one is innocent.â Jay didnât want to hear it anymore. He wanted out, now. So he took more steps back, giving his glare locked on Namjoon and the seven guys behind him, âYouâre making a mistake,â Joon said, following Jay, âJust give her backâŚâÂ
Jay quickly shifted your body to his side, pulling out the pistol at his hip, âTake one more step and Iâll fucking kill you.âÂ
âLike you did to my guards?âÂ
Jay said nothing, his fingers going numb from the grin he had on your belt loop to keep you pressed against him. You whimpered, the pain finally settling into you as the drugs wore off more. You clenched your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his leg, trying to hold yourself up against his hold, âIâll kill who I have to to keep her safe.âÂ
Namjoon could see the desperation on Jayâs face, and just gave him another smile, âGo then. Just know youâre a wanted man the minute you walk out of those doors.âÂ
âJoon!â Shotaro quickly said, earning Namjoon to hold his hand up to silence him, then waving Jay to go forward. He slowly took the steps back, waiting until his back touched against the doors, and pushed it open, the pistol still pointing directly forward. Namjoon continues smiling even after Jay closes the door, leaving them in the lobby alone. Namjoon had enough samples of your blood to create copies. He also knew Jay would be heading back to his safe zone quickly. Namjoon will get you back. But this time by force.Â
â
Jay slid the open window carefully, using his strength to push and pull himself up through the kitchen window, carefully climbing his way into the house. Jay barely touched his feet to the floor and turned around to see Heeseung pointing a gun in his direction, âWhat the fuck! Itâs just me!â he whispers, âWatch where you point that thing!âÂ
Heeseung groans, âWhy the fuck are you climbing through the window!!â He snaps, pointing to the front door, âYou know how to use that right!!âÂ
Jay just looks at his brother up and down, being able to tell heâs lost weight since heâs been gone. The three of them all probably lost weight. Heeseungâs red hair was now completely washed out, leaving some patches of a soft pink color and some blonde streaks. Cuts and bruises covered Heeseungâs arms. He looked rough, and Jay could only imagine how the other two looked, âYouâve been struggling, havenât you?âÂ
Heeseung scoffed, âYeah, no thanks to you, Mr. Wanted man,â Jay raised a brow and Heeseung just sighed, âWe know what happened at the capitol. Iâm sorry for what they did to YN. We all should have gone with you.âÂ
Jay just shakes his head, âNo. I almost lost her. I wouldnât know what to do if I lost her AND you three.â Jay didnât want to think about what could have happened. He was back home and was safe and thatâs all that matters. Jay asked Heeseung how they found out. Namjoon apparently wasted no time in radioing to Jungkook. Which Jay already figured, hint why he climbed through the window. But Jungkook was furious. The whole safe zone went on lockdown for a few months, but when Jay didnât return directly after five months, everyone assumed he was either dead or not coming back. Jungkook limited the access Hee, Hoon, and Jake got to outside the zone. Not giving them many smuggler missions and even halving their paydown. The three of them struggled all in terms of punishing Jay.Â
Heeseung sat at the table and Jay sat across from him, âWhere is YN?âÂ
Jay took in a breath, âAt the caved safe zone.âÂ
âThatâs where youâve been for half a year?â Heeseung didnât mean to add the venom that came out when he snapped at Jay, âYou settled down with your girlfriend and decided we werenât worth it?âÂ
Jay slapped his hands on the table, âThatâs NOT what happened!â Jay looks over to Sunghoon and Jakeâs bed, seeing them still sleeping, and relaxed in his chair, âI knew theyâd be coming for me. And I needed to protect her. Needed to give it time before leaving to come back to get you three.âÂ
âGet us?â Heeseung asked, folding his arms over his chest.Â
Jay nods, âI already figured this place would be on a tougher lockdown. Had to find our other secret way that even JK doesnât know about. Mostly after I saw our main hole was drilled shut,â he sat back, âI kept the money they gave me to take her there. And I stole all the vials they filled with her blood for the cure. I have plans, but I need you guys with me. Those two months in that cave were only to help YN recover better. The three months of getting her to that cave were hell on her. After what they did.âÂ
Heeseung nodded, only being able to imagine what you went through, âSo you want us to leave and go back to the cave with you?â Jay nodded, âWhy did you even leave her alone?! What if Namjoon finds her?âÂ
âShe knows how to use a gun,â Jay quickly said, âWe both know that. I showed her all the exits and safe places to run to just in case. It was a bigger risk bringing her with me than leaving her.âÂ
Heeseung thinned his lips in a line, staring at the table and weighing out the options, âWhatâs this plan?âÂ
âWe sell her cure blood to those in need. Sell all we have and keep our refuge in the abandoned zone a secret. We use the money we have from the capital and from selling her blood to use for goods, clothing, weapons, and whatever we need. We find another zone to smuggle for, probably with Soobin and his team, and just survive.âÂ
âJust like we always have,â Heeseung softly says, looking at Jay, taking a few more seconds to think it over, âWhen are we leaving?âÂ
âRight now,â Sunghoon said, dropping his backpack to the table, âYou guys really donât know how to fucking whisper.âÂ
Jay chuckles, seeing Jake right behind him with his backpack, âAbout time we spread our wings from this hellhole,â Jake joked.Â
You stood outside the metal door, rocking back and forth on your feet, itâs been months, they should have arrived already. You walked in circles, then went back inside just to walk in more circles around the cave. You cleaned up a bit and laid down to take a nap, just to barely close your eyes but not fully being able to sleep.Â
You stood back up with a sigh and walked back outside. Standing there for what feels like forever until you see them. You couldnât hold back the smile as Jay, Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jake walked past the gate. You broke out into a sprint. Jay dropped his weapons and backpack to the ground, bending his knees and spreading his arms out, catching you as you jumped onto him. His arms squeeze you tightly and his lips connect to yours.Â
The smile his brothers gave you two makes your heart feel warm. Jay sets you down and pulls his three friends into a big hug before snapping orders for everyone to get inside.Â
These people were your home now. Your family. Jay gives you a smile as he tangles his fingers with yours, after everything you two have been through, he was worth it and more. It was just your luck that you stumbled into his world.Â
âtags: @alvojake @simpjaes @itachisloverlol @minseongsworld @heeseungshim @allysluvsworld @nyxtwixx @jjaeyunist @in-somnias-world @zeeloveshee @sunpov @xiaoderrrr @butterflywonie @sundoie @cmoundiamante @jentlecoeur @reign-reads @parksunghoonsgf @sparklovespink @wannieepisod @crimnalseung @ilikekpop-c @capri-cuntz @jwnghyuns @kimsunoops @blackhairandbangs @jjongswannabebae @lazy-miya @m3chigo @en-happiness @wonniethepoo @ikeuverse @woninluv @desistay @erehkinnie30 @peachystels @jinspinkflipphone @abysofsteel @randommmmmmvheusbs @minjaexvz @soobywiththebooty @wonryllis @shinrjj @star4rin @iheartjayke @0ctav1asstuff @jakeswifey @hanjisunginc @jinspinkflipphone @jungwonsbabygirl
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training wheels | k.h.j
pairing : Professor!Hongjoong x innocent!reader ft!Wooyoung
âĄâË( wrote this listening to âtraining wheelsâ by Melanie Martinez)
summary: Too innocent for your own good, your professor's little hidden crush only grows the more he could spend time with you. You were so pure before his eyes. A sweet young woman who deserves the sweetest kind of love but still had trouble in paradise with her boyfriendâŚbut heâll be there for you. After all, he only wants whatâs best for you and to protect you.
wc: 10.7k
cw: University AU, smut, coquette-ish fem!innocent reader, virgin reader, slightly older Hongjoong, manipulation, obsessive stalker-ish behavior, yandere behavior, corruption kink, cheating , frat boy behavior from Maknae line, oral!male receiving, there'll be more spice in the next part
REMINDER : my works do not represent the irl members in any way, this is purely a work of FICTION.
a/n: hello so itâs been awhile and this has been cooling in my drafts for so long. Special thanks to @songmingisthighs for helping me whenever Iâm stuck with writing and for being one of my favourite persons on this app đi wanted to write something that isnât apart of the Sway With Me universe just for a change and a breather ( I hope you guys donât mind that). I just wanted to write.
- this is will be a two part series!
READ CONTENT WARNING BEFORE READING!
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE, OR OTHERWISE REPURPOSE ANY OF MY WORK HERE. I DO NOT NOR WILL ALLOW IT.
Note: Hongjoong is a couple years older but heâs still young for a professor. Maknae Line is in their last year of Uni and is part of the Universityâs Varsity baseball team.Y /N is innocent ( smh). Kinda coquettish vibes but yuh, sweet girl.
The rain storming outside made anxiety bubble in your chest as you clutched your laptop bag and books tight. You glanced at your phone, the bright red bar of the little battery icon glaring at you. That just made your situation even worse and it didnât help that the last message you saw was the reason you were stranded here in the first place.
âIâm so sorry sweetheart. The team meeting is going overtime tonight. Get home safe. Please message me when youâre home.â
You waited for him. You should be angry at him but instead, you were only heartbroken and sad that he didnât keep his word. You were frustrated that you couldnât even hate him the slightest bit for forgetting to pick you up and the sudden downpour was just the cherry on top.
âMs. L/N, is that you?â
That voice. That familiar tone that you heard every Monday and Wednesday from 8 am til 10 am. The voice that made your Art Appreciation lecture so interesting that youâre excited to come early every morning to learn sounded from behind you.
You turned around and quickly bowed your head in his direction out of respect.
âMr.Kim.â
The young professor frowned at your presence.
âIt is you. What are you still doing here?â He asked, extending his arm a bit to glance at his silver watch. âItâs almost 11 pm.â
âI-It started rainingâŚâ was all you could say. You couldnât nor want to admit to your university professor the real reason why you were stranded on campus.
âIndeedâŚ,â he gently grasped your arm and pulled you into the covered shade of the hall. âDo you need a ride home, Ms. L/N? I was just about to leave and go home but I can drop you off at the nearest bus stop or if youâd like, your home.â
His offer made your heart melt. Mr. Kim Hongjoong has always been so kind and sweet to his students. He has always shown such care and patience to their studies and well-being, and as the many girls in your classroom would whisper amongst each other, he was also very handsome. Which was a fact everyone in the whole campus knew.
âI donât want to be of a hassle to you, Sir. I can wait for the rain to stop.â You tried to kindly turn down his offer, not wanting to bother him but also you felt it was inappropriate for a student to be in any proximity to a professor alone.
âMs. L/N, itâs late and the rain doesnât look like itâs going to stop anytime soon. I assure you it is not a bother to take you home. Iâll be worried if I just left you here.â
He was right. Both about the rain and the time, and youâre never out this late. Well at least not alone and it made you antsy. Mr. Kim looked at you with so much care in dark brown eyes that it felt impossible to say no to his kind offer.
âO-okay.â
And thatâs how you found yourself in the passenger seat of your professor's fancy car.
You looked around subtly observing the luxurious interior of the vehicle. It smelled like new leather and Mr. Kimâs cologne. Your phone buzzed breaking your little observation as Mr. Kim typed in the location of your apartment into his phone GPS.
âBaby? Are you home? Please let me know.â The text message notification shone brightly.
You let out a little sigh.
Hongjoong couldnât help but notice your rather wilted demeanor. He looked over you in the corner of his eye as he started the car. Little did you know, he was admiring your look today. You didnât have class with him on Fridays so seeing today was ratherâŚrefreshing. Baby pink always looked so pretty on you, he thought to himself. Your blouse almost had a ballet-like aesthetic to it, it wrapped around your torso so elegantly and gently accentuated your curves. It was matched with a very pretty flowy white skirt that wasnât too short nor too long, and there was a thin pink ribbon in your hair, the finishing touch to your very sweet ensemble. You always dressed so cute.
âAre you okay, Ms. L/N?â He asked his voice so calm and gentle that it calmed your silent frustration.
âNot reallyâŚâ you muttered your gaze down at the hem of your skirt, your books, and your laptop sleeve on your lap.
The defeated expression you wore made the older manâs heartache for you. He didnât like to see you like this. You were like a ray of gentle sunshine whenever you entered his classroom, a doe in a beautiful blooming field of flowers that radiated warmth that made anyone and everyone around you comfortable and calm. It was odd to see you like this.
âIf you want to talk about it Iâm all ears,â he offered with a smile, reaching behind the head of your passenger seat and glancing behind as he reversed up his car from the parking lot.
Your heart raced at the gesture. You didnât know what about it was making you feel all flustered and small. His kind words and warm tone made it hard to keep your emotions in. Maybe you can just tell himâŚa little bit.
âI waited for my boyfriend to pick me upâŚbut he didnât come.â You murmured, heart aching as you said those words.
Hongjoongâs heart dropped, and he raised a brow at what you just said. Your boyfriend didnât show up?
âI know I shouldnât be so upsetâŚitâs just he promised. I understand he has obligations to his teamâŚI just feel like he forgot about me.â
Your sweet voice was so small. Hongjoong wanted nothing more than to soothe you and reassure you. Underneath all of that, he was bubbling with irritation. He kept a softened and caring expression on his face as he listened to you, gripping the stirring wheel to hide his annoyance.
âI-Iâm sorry to hear that,â he said so sympathetically. âYouâre such a sweet girl to be so understanding of your boyfriend. If I remember correctly your boyfriend isâŚâ
âWooyoung.â You whispered his name, your lips between your teeth as you tried to hold back your disappointed tears and hurt.
Hongjoongâs jaw tightened.
Right.
Jung Wooyoung.
âAhâŚyes. The universityâs baseball star.â He was also a student in one of his classes. A heartthrob along with his best friend and Baseball Vice Captain, Choi San.
âIâll feel better when I get home and sleep it off.â You didnât want to talk about him forgetting to pick you up any longer.
âIf you donât mind me asking, Ms. L/N, how long have you been together?â He asked, hoping his question was not so out of the blue as he continued to drive.
âAlmost three months now, Mr. Kim.â You replied, the idea of being with Wooyoung for so long making you a little happy despite tonightâs disappointment.
Lucky bastard. âOh, thatâs very recent.â
âI knowâŚbut heâs very sweet to me. He takes care of me and he really makes me happy.â You listed the good things that always made your heart flutter. Your sweet loving boyfriend who had pursued you and never pushed for anything you werenât ready for. If you were to describe your relationship with Wooyoung, it was like the love you see in the movies.
âThatâs good to hear. Youâre one of my sweetest students and Iâd be worried if you werenât happy,â Hongjoong smiled, earning the reaction he wanted and expected from someone as innocent as you.
Your pretty eyes widened at his words and you looked even shyer. He wondered if thatâs why your boyfriend was attracted to you.
You didnât know what to say but there was a small smile on your face when he called you one of his sweetest students.
âThank you, sir.â
Sir.
Hongjoongâs night was getting better than he could ever imagine. First, the surprise of seeing you still on campus alone as he left, then you accepting his offer to drive you home, and now, Sir? For a long time, he loved how that name slipped from your pretty glossed lips.
âIâm sure your boyfriend feels really guilty about not having shown up. Sometimes these things happen.â Hongjoong tried to reassure you, not really wanting to defend the University senior you were seeing but he needed to say what you wanted or needed to hear.
You take his words as it is. He was older than you so he knew about these things more than you. He was wiser. He was right, these things do happen. Wooyoung did apologize too. So maybe itâs not as bad as you were making it out to be.
Hongjoong noticed how you sat up a little, no longer sulking so cutely in the passenger seat. He smirked a little to himself, his eyes on the road. Did you trust his words that much? Was that how much power he had over you?
You were too innocent it concerned him.
You were truly a doe in a field of flowers. So pretty and so completely oblivious to the wolves hiding in the tall grass. He was sure your boyfriend was one of them and that he too had a deep dark desire for your innocence.
âIs this your place?â He pulled up outside an apartment complex, people passing by in the street as he looked up at the building observing it.
âYes, it is!â You chirped, happy that you were able to get home safely and it was all thanks to your kind and sweet professor. âThank you so much, Mr. Kim. I really appreciate it. I really cannot thank you enoughâŚand talking to you made me feel better. Iâm really lucky that you were here tonight.â
Hongjoong smiled, holding back from reaching over to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. He didnât want to scare you away.
âIf you ever find yourself in any kind of trouble, Ms. L/N, you can come to me okay? Here,â he reached into his pocket, getting his card but writing down his personal phone number in the back of it before holding it your way.
Like he expected you didnât think much of it, what a sweet girl.
âMr. Kim youâre so kind.â You took the pretty name card with his phone number in the back. âI donât get into trouble but I appreciate this. Thank you.â
âLet me help you get inside, okay?â He got out of his car with an umbrella, going over to your side to open the passenger seat door and to hold the umbrella over you and him so that he could escort you to your apartment lobby.
You stepped out of the car and blushed when you felt his arm wrap around your shoulders to gently guide you to the sidewalk and your apartment lobby. He made sure you were dry and safe and also took note of how an access card is needed to get in. He was glad you lived somewhere so safe.
You thanked him again, unable to look him in the eyes because the warm smile on his face was making your heart flutter.
âNow I can go home without worrying if you got back safe,â he lightheartedly teased, making you giggle. He was such a kind person. âTake care of yourself, Ms. L/N. Iâll see you on Monday.â
âEnjoy your weekend, Sir.â You bowed your head respectfully, appreciating how handsome he was in his coat and suit. It made him look like a character from the dramas you see on television.
Monday rolled around quicker than you thought while Hongjoong found the weekend went by agonizingly slow. As he set up his laptop in the lecture hall as other students filed in, he couldnât help but anticipate your arrival. He kindly smiled and greeted the students who had the energy to wish him a good morning, he even kept glancing at your seat that was still empty.
Were you not well? Did you catch a cold over the weekend from the rain on Friday night?
âYou really didnât have to walk me, Woo.â
Your gentle soft voice made the professor perk up and his heart race a little. Subtly, he glanced at the door, more students entering but behind them in the hall was you.
âHey, I still feel guilty about not having picked you up on Friday. Iâm gonna make it up to you.â Wooyoung placed his hand on your waist, feeling the soft fabric of your skirt. âYouâre too nice if youâre just gonna let me off the hook. Iâm gonna be extra attentive, okay baby?â
Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at the young dark-haired boy, his varsity jacket telling everyone that passed who he was and the status he had in the university. He zeroed in on the hand on your waist, Wooyoungâs thumb caressing you gently and his fingers even playing with the cute ribbons on your skirt.
âO-okay,â you blushed, trying to fight back the giddy smile that was forming on your face.
Wooyoung grinned at your response and glanced left and right before pulling you closer til you were pressed against him. Your wide eyes looked up at him in surprise and you got your body tingling when both his hands rested on your waist.
Your fluster only made your handsome boyfriend grin even more with that twinkle in his eyes that always made you feel special.
âYou have a nice day, okay?â He whispered and before you could respond, without a care in the world and with no shame if any other student passing would see, he leaned down and kissed your glossed lips.
Heat bloomed in your cheeks. This was different from the soft pecks and quick kisses heâd give, these were the kisses you liked from him. The deep ones that made your head feel all hazy. The one that made heat pool in your lower belly.
Wooyoung pulled back and pressed another kiss on your forehead. âIâll see you for lunch.â
âO-okay.â You murmured, feeling everyoneâs curious eyes on both of you and wanting to remain hidden by Wooyoungâs form.
Wooyoung smiled and then licked his lips. âOh? Strawberry?â
The mention of your flavored lip gloss made you look up at him, a cheeky smile plastered on his face.
âYouâre gonna have me craving you all morning, baby.â He dramatically placed a hand over his chest. âHow will I ever survive? One more.â He tried to go for another kiss and you squealed as he pulled you back.
âWoo, I have class!â
âBut strawberry!â He pouted as he kept you in his embrace, some students rolling their eyes at the two of you and some finding the two of you cute and amusing. Wooyoungâs teammates from down the hall caught wind of the two of you and hooted.
âSorry to interrupt but Iâll be starting my lecture soon.â
The voice of Mr. Kim made your eyes widen as embarrassment made you want to hide from his gaze.
âOh, Mr. Kim,â Wooyoung spoke his professor's name with no shame of getting caught being affectionate with his girlfriend. âMorning!â
Hongjoong could only manage a nod to his greeting before turning to you, still in your boyfriendâs hold and unable to look him in the eyes.
âMs. L/N, class starts in five minutes.â He spoke sternly, his tone making your lips form a small pout.
The way you reacted to him made the older man before you swoon. God, you were too cute.
âYes, sir.â
There it was again. The way you said âsirâ all defeated and cute.
âSorry, Mr. Kim.â Wooyoung apologized. âMy bad.â He removed his varsity jacket and draped it over your shoulders before kissing your cheek. âIâll see you at lunch, baby.â
Then Wooyoung sauntered away with a swing in his step and his bag over one shoulder, on his way to his respective class.
âSorry, Mr. Kim.â You murmured, keeping your gaze down and hugging your books to your chest as you went inside the room along with the last few students who arrived.
Hongjoong watched as you made your way to your seat. Your pretty skirt swayed with each step and he wondered if skirts made up most of your wardrobe. It must be such a delight for your boyfriend.
Loosening the grip he had on his pen as he watched the whole interaction between you and Wooyoung, he smiled at his students. What mattered the most to him was you were safe. You were here and you were safe and well. Never mind the fact that you and your boyfriend easily made up from Friday nightâs incident.
You were here.
The lecture was an enjoyable one not only for the students but him as well. As he discussed the significance of art during the Roman Empire, his students were all hooked in with his explanations and discussions, and even he got carried away excitedly with every question and topic.
âMr. Kim is so hot.â A classmate beside you, Jennie, whispered to her friend, the two of them giggling as your professor shared his knowledge with the class.
âAnd heâs so nice too. You think heâs a virgin?â Minsol whispered back and you felt your heart grow hot listening to them.
You fidgeted in your seat and tried to block them out, focusing on Professor Kim.
âHeâs so young to be a professor. Maybe he spent all that time studying to the max, you know! Maybe he is!â
âHeâs so cute.â Minsol chuckled. âBut then heâs so sexy when he pushes his hair back.â
And almost as if on cue, Mr. Kim ran his fingers through his dark brown locks, pushing them back as he smiled at his students in awe at the discussion.
He was handsome. You admitted that a long time ago. Attractive? Yes. But he was your professor. It was wrong to think of him the way Jennie and Minsol were.
Til now, their voices couldnât be blocked out completely.
âIâd gladly blow him for a good grade,â Jennie whispered, her eyes looking Hongjoong up and down.
âJennie!â Minsol playfully smacked her friend, her voice still hushed.
âWhat? Just think of it. Goody two shoes Mr.Kim so kind and worried that your grades are slipping, and then you tell him youâd do anything to raise your grade.â Jennie described the scenario so vividly. âNo one needs to know what goes on behind closed doors.â
Your heart was racing in your chest as you listened to the fantasy. It didnât help that Mr. Kim was right there before your eyes as Jennieâs voice whispered discreetly to her friend such a scandalous scenario.
âBut it wonât stop there.â
That piqued your interest and you felt ashamed to have been so curious.
âHe has a nice car too. Imagine fucking in the backseat of that luxury car way past campus hours in secret.â
Your heart thumped strongly at the mention of his car. You had been in his car and the dirty thought of Mr. Kim being all over your body and kissing you in the spacious backseat crossed your mind.
You couldnât help but rub your thighs together.
Hongjoongâs eyes scanned all his students, happy that they were enjoying the class but paused when he saw you. Your body was swallowed by your boyfriendâs big varsity jacket and you looked flustered, even biting your glossed lips, fidgeting in your seat.
Then he saw the two girls next to you giggling and gossiping. What were they talking about that was making you blush so much? Briefly, your eyes moved from your notebook and locked with his but you immediately looked down when you saw that he had been looking your way.
Hongjoong could only assume they were talking about him. In what way? He wasnât sure but it was a way that was making you look even shyer and could he dare say, hot and bothered?
Then the bell rang.
âAlright, weâll continue the discussion on Wednesday and Iâll hand you all your Renaissance art period essays that I already graded then. Have a nice day.â Hongjoongâs elegant and calm voice echoed in the lecture hall, as he made his way behind his desk, sitting out the papers.
A chorus of thanks was sent his way as the students little by little exited the lecture hall. He looked your way, watching as you packed your things and gathered your books.
âHey, Y/N!â Jennie turned to you. âHow are you and your stud of a boyfriend?â
âOh, m-me and Woo?â Your lashes fluttered so prettily as Hongjoong pretended he couldnât hear you and the girls.
âYeah! We saw you two being all cute and kissy out in the hall.â Minsol chuckled as she touched up her makeup with powder.
âWeâre great.â You couldnât stop the happy smile on your face as you thought of your boyfriend.
âHeâs your first boyfriend, right? Have you twoâŚyou knowâŚ.â
Your brows furrowed. âHave we what?â
Hongjoong fought his sigh at how oblivious you were.
Minsolâs eyes widened as she snapped her compact closed and leaned over. âYou guys havenât?â
âWhat are you two talking about?â You tilted your head like a puppy.
The two girls exchanged looks of shock.
âY/NâŚâ Jennie leaned closer, lowering her voice even further but Hongjoongâs ears were sharp. âAre you a virgin?â
Immediately, your face was burning as you hugged your books to your chest, wanting to cover your face with Wooyoungâs jacket.
âHoly shit!â Minsol exclaimed then realized she had been loud. She looked towards the whiteboard and saw Mr. Kim looking at the three of you questioningly. âUhâŚsorry Mr. Kim!â
Hongjoong only smiled and he shook his head, returning to his papers and was glad that he was sitting behind his desk as the idea of you never being touched morphed from shock and into desire. He kind of guessed you wereâŚbut dating the star athlete and heartthrob of the campus made him second guess that you were.
âGirl, you need to come with us!â Jennie hooked her arm with yours and Minsol on the other as the two of you made your way out of the lecture hall.
âBye, Mr. Kim!â They chimed as they dragged you out with them.
âB-bye, sir.â Your little voice reached his ears as the three of you finally left him alone in the empty hall.
Hongjoong hunched over, crossing his arms on his desk as he groaned.
You were driving him insane.
Whatâs worse was that you didnât even intend to do so.
He wanted you.
He needed you.
As the afternoon passed, Hongjoong made his way to his office. The hall was empty as students were in their classes or their club activities. It was peaceful til he heard hushed whispers ahead from an empty classroom, the door only slightly ajar.
The professor frowned. Were there students doing another weed deal on campus? Before concluding, through the very small gap of the wooden double doors, he took a peek.
âS-someone could walk in.â
Was that his sweet Y/Nâs voice? Hongjoongâs heart began to race.
âBaby, I promise no one is. This room is always vacant at this hour.â Wooyoung reassured you, kissing your neck as his hands roamed your body, specifically caressing your thighs that were parted as he stood between them.
Hongjoong swallowed the lump in his throat.
Perched on the large mahogany desk, was you. Your skirt was hiked up higher as your boyfriend pressed against you, his paws all over your soft body, feeling you through your clothes.
âYou look so sexy in my jacket,â Wooyoung whispered in your ear, his hand moving lower til they were under your skirt. âI couldnât stop thinking of how good you looked during lunch.â
You softly yelped when his fingers pressed against your core through your cotton panties. âW-woo!â
âAwe, baby, are you getting wet? All for me?â
âW-woo,â you whimpered when he traced his fingers along your slit, embarrassed at the dirty talk.
âFuck, youâre soaking through your panties, baby. Tell me you want me to touch you. Ask me and Iâll make you feel good, baby.â
You wanted him to keep touching you but you felt a little guilty. You had started to feel hot way earlier than your boyfriend knew. Jennie and Minsolâs hushed whispering from class about Mr. KimâŚashamedly had made you ache.
âM-make me feel good, Woo.â
Your boyfriend groaned against your neck, rubbing you through your panties. âMy pretty baby. You deserve so much.â
Your back arched when he applied more pressure to your clit.
âIâll make you feel good, baby. I promiseâŚ. but I wonât make your first time here in a classroom.â He kissed your neck messily, licking your skin.
âBut YoungieâŚâ you didnât want him to stop touching you. He has touched you like this many times before when he came over but it never went past that. He didnât want to force you into something you werenât ready for but as time passed and the more you fell for him, youâve been wanting to go all the way with him.
âDonât worry, baby. Iâll make you cum. Iâll be a good boyfriend and let my pretty girlfriend cum.â He kissed your forehead, slipping his hand under your panties to truly feel you. âYouâre so wet, baby.â He moaned, collecting your slick and spreading it all over your pussy.
âYoungie,â you whimpered, gripping his shirt as your thighs trembled at the delicious friction.
âI love it when you call me that,â he sighed, repressing the urge that he indeed in fact wanted to ruin his pretty untouched girlfriend. He loved you and he wanted to treat you right as best as he could. You werenât like the other girls heâs been with. He liked how you looked at him with stars in your eyes.
Your thighs squeezed at his sides unable to close as he continued to play with your pussy, touching you heavily and the way you liked. You couldnât help but softly moan and pant at the intoxicating pleasure.
Hongjoong was burning with jealousy. A part of him wanted to disrupt the two of you and scold the two of you for misconduct as he had every right as a professor to do so. ButâŚyou looked so pretty falling apart for your boyfriend. Brows furrowed as your lips part and sigh, the setting sun hitting your skin in such a way that the lewd imagery before him was like a movie. He could feel his desire straining in his trousers. He wanted to watch.
âYoungie,â you whimpered so prettily.
Hongjoong took note of how your back arched when Wooyoung nibbled and kissed at a spot on your neck. You must be extra sensitive there. He also imagined how soft your breasts would be if he was the one cupping them through your cute blouse.
âYou close baby?â Wooyoung rasped against your ear, rubbing your clit faster, making you lean your head forward to rest on his chest.
âNuh-uh,â Wooyoung clicked his tongue, his right hand leaving your breast to grab you by the chin, making you look at him. âLet me see your pretty face, baby.â He swiped his thumb over your lower lip and bit his lip when you suddenly took his digit into your mouth, softly sucking on it. Where the fuck did you learn to do that? âCâmon, baby. Cum. Cum for me.â
You released his thumb with a soft pop, your lips even glossier from your gloss and saliva. You were panting and moaning so cutely, Wooyoung felt he was going to cum in his pants just at the sight of you getting off his fingers. He massaged your clit faster, watching the way your lids began to droop as you blinked up at him hazily and your lips part in a cute little âoâ.
âYoungie!â You cried out, back arching and thighs trembling as you reached your high, your pussy dripping more arousal all over your boyfriendâs fingers.
âThatâs it, baby. Such a pretty baby.â Wooyoung cooed, enjoying your fucked out expression. It was addicting really. His sweet innocent girlfriend falling apart for him. If you were this fucked out by just fingers, he canât imagine how fucking delectable you looked when he finally fucked you.
Hongjoong bit his lip as he watched you come down from your high. How your arms wrapped around your boyfriend as he slowed his circles on your clit. He wished he could see how your pussy looked, how wet it was, and how sweet the nectar it produced.
Wooyoung took his hand from your panties and brought his fingers to his lips, your eyes widening. His hand left its grip on your face.
âW-woo!â
That didnât stop him from letting his tongue dart out to lick his digits. âYou taste so sweet, baby. Maybe Iâll come up tonight once I drop you off and really have a good taste of you.â
You blushed at his words and felt heat spark in your lower belly at what he hinted. Did he mean that he was going to kiss and taste you down there? With his tongue? The idea made your cheeks grow hot but that only made your boyfriend grin.
âOh? Youâre not opposed to it?â He teased, enjoying the way you only huffed and pouted your pretty lips. âHere, baby. Taste yourself.â
Hongjoong watched as you wearily, so curiously, poked out your cute tongue to lick your boyfriendâs fingers. How did you taste? Did you like it? You batted your lashes up at your boyfriend who awaited your verdict.
âSo? How do you taste?â He took your hand in his other one, just relishing the moment you two had in the orange sunset-lit classroom.
âG-good.â
âAtta, girl.â Wooyoung grinned, taking you into his embrace and kissing you again.
Hongjoong felt his head pound from how hard he was in his pants. He wanted a taste. He needed a taste.
How was he going to get close to you when you and your boyfriend were all fine and dandy again?
âWhat do you say, baby? Friday night? Iâll come over and weâll watch a movie. Iâll bring your favorite strawberries coated in chocolate. Then maybeâŚâ he caressed your cheek. âWe could go all the way?â
âW-wonât it hurt?â
Wooyoung and Hongjoongâs hearts ached at your sweetness.
âWell, when Friday rolls around, and youâre not up for it. Itâs okay. Weâll just have a cozy little date and make out. Iâll wait for you when youâre ready. Okay?â
His gentle voice along with his care for you made your stomach flutter. âO-okay.â You leaned your cheek into his palm. âI love you, Woo.â
âI love you too, baby.â
While you and Wooyoung basked in the moment you two found yourselves in, Hongjoong made a beeline to his office and locked the door. He glanced down and saw the bulge of his cock poking through his tailored trousers. He threw his head back, slamming it against the door as he groaned.
He was going to have to take care of it himself cause it wasnât going to go away til he did.
He didnât know when the stalkingâ okay, in his defense, following and keeping an eye on you, started.
All Hongjoong knew was, he needed to get to know you. He needed to get closer somehow, be a friend. Someone you could turn to and cry to. Plus, you lived alone, away from your parents. You needed someone to protect you.
From all the wolves that surrounded you, including that boyfriend of yours.
As he passed the baseball field from where he parked his car, he couldnât help but overhear a group of young wolf pups gathered and talking beneath the morning sun. They all wore the same varsity jacket, making Hongjoongâs pack of wolves analogy even truer.
âSo? Did you and Y/N go all the way yet?â The Vice Captain of the team asked, the young and handsome Mr. Choi.
The rest of the boys began to nudge and tease their Captain who had been tossing the baseball in his hand nonchalantly.
âYeah, have you and little Miss all prim and proper done more than just second base?â The tallest of them, Song Mingi, joined in the teasing, the boys all grinning and tossing ooâs and ahâs. âYour girl has a nice ass.â
âHey,â Wooyoung harshly hissed at his teammate. âYeah, and thatâs my girl youâre talking about.â
âCanât blame Mingi. Youâre with the campusâs dream girl.â Jongho added, running his fingers through his brown hair.
âDream girl?â Wooyoungâs brows furrowed.
âYeah! Sure sheâs lowkey and literally the nicest person on campus. Hell, she even helped me with calculus. I even thought of asking her out on a date.â San chirped. âBut you got to her first. Anyway, thatâs beside the point, did you guys finally do it? Friday night?â
Hongjoong remained hidden behind the shadows of the bleachers, needing to know the answer to Sanâs question.
âWe didnât. She got nervous and you know, I have to be a good boyfriend and wait. I donât want to pressure her. Sheâs a nice girl.â Wooyoung finally responded, his answer earning a groan from his friends.
Mingi stared at him for a moment. âYou should be a saint. That amount of self-control is crazy.â
âWell, good things come to those who wait, Mingi.â Wooyoung grinned. âIâm a hundred percent sure my girl is worth the wait and more.â
âYouâre really down bad for her, huh?â Jongho laughed softly, actually admiring the fact that Wooyoung was becoming a better guy with you.
âY-yeahâŚshe is. I really love her.â
âI just canât believe she fell for you. After all the girls you slept with in the past and the parties. She still fell for Jung Wooyoung. Anyways,â Jongho clapped Wooyoung on the back. âI hope you get some soon.â
San wouldnât relent though.
âHas she at least beenâŚyou knowâŚ.giving? I know you worship the fuck out of her in different ways but has the pretty princess given back?â
Hongjoong should head back to his office before heâs caught butâŚhe needed to know the details.
âSan, she doesnât know how.â
Wooyoungâs response made San groan and Hongjoong fought back his own.
âSheâs a fucking angel your girlfriend.â San huffed his crush on you not concerning Wooyoung as he knew San would never cross the line.
âDude, when you get to teach her, itâs gonna be so fucking hot.â Mingi sighed, thinking of who to contact for his next hookup. He needed to fuck.
Hongjoong couldnât help but agree. To teach someone as beautiful and pretty as you, how to use your cute mouth and delicate handsâŚthe fantasy of you between his legs while he sits on his office couchâŚguiding you while you look up at him for him to lead youâŚthe young pups have a point.
âOkay, can you guys chill and not talk about my girlfriend like that?â Wooyoung lightly scolded his friends. âAnyways, you guys better be on your best behavior for tonightâs practice. I'm driving Y/N home for our date and I really donât want to have to bail again because Coach isnât happy with our performance.â
âWeâll do our best,â San spoke for them, sending a pointed glare to Mingi and Jongho, theyâre bickering always getting their Coach to overtime their practices. âBut coach hasnât been in a good mood as far as I know.â
Wooyoung swore under his breath, worry bubbling in his chest when he imagined your disappointment and the way your eyes become glassy as you fight back tears. He really didnât want to make you feel like he didnât care about you againâŚhe knew you understood his obligations to his team. He just hoped he wouldnât forget to update you this time and keep you waiting for him.
Hongjoong didnât stay long after that. He went off his merry way back to his office, wondering if tonight would be another chance to have some time with you again. Be your knight in shining armor if your boyfriend doesnât pick you up again.
All he needed to do was stay in your good graces.
After all, he just wanted to take care of youâŚ
It began with longer conversations after class, asking how you were doing and if you understood the lecture or not. Then when midterms started to round the corner he would casually stay past campus hours just so that he could âby chanceâ be finishing up late at the same time you were finished up studying in the library.
But this time, when he found you, the sun was beginning to set and you were in one of the library aisles, in the sections students donât frequent, on the floor hugging your knees to your chest. Your back was against the tall wooden bookshelf and you were by the window, your head below the window pane as you softly sniffled.
Hongjoong felt his stomach twist. What did your boyfriend do?
âMs. L/N?â As softly as he could, he called out to you and he saw you visibly stiffen.
âM-Mr. Kim?â You kept your head down, too embarrassed to look up at him because he would see the tears and puffiness in your eyes.
âAre you okay, Ms. L/N?â He slowly approached, observing your body language if you would shrink away from him. He kneeled before you. âDid something happen? Why are you crying?â
You bit your lip, fighting back the way it quivered as you wanted to tell him exactly what happened but you were crying over something so silly.
A gentle warm hand softly patted your head, your heart stopping at the touch. Maybe you could tell him everything. BesidesâŚhe has been so kind to you and only ever wanted to make sure you were okay. When the two of you spent time together and talked, you would sometimes forget he was your professor and not just a friend.
And yet, your heart couldnât help but want to be in the palm of his hand, knowing heâd be gentle with it.
When you lifted your head to look at him, the tears in your eyes had Hongjoong almost falling to his knees and wanting to embrace you right then and there. âIâll take you to my office okay?â He offered, taking out his handkerchief and putting it in your trembling hands.
âO-okay.â You murmured.
With a guiding arm around your shoulders and making sure no wandering eyes would see the two of you, the likelihood being low since it was past class hours, the varsity teams were training and it was a Friday, he led you to his office.
You stood awkwardly in the middle of his office, clutching his handkerchief in your hand, a part of your brain contemplating the idea of being vulnerable in your professor's office. It was highly inappropriate. Should anyone find outâ
You were torn from your thoughts when a pair of warm arms wrapped around you so gently. You blinked a couple of times unable to process what was happening and the beating of your heart. Hongjoong cradled the back of your head as he held you close to him, your cheek brushing against his neck.
âIt hurts to see you cry.â He whispered, unable to hold himself back from soothing you then he pulled away and led you to the leather couch in his office.
You sat on one end while he was on the other, the gap between you reminding you of the intrusive thought of the distance you and Wooyoung might have soonâŚ
âWhatâs wrong, darling? You can tell me, you know. Iâm always here to lend an ear. Whatever it is I wonât judge you, especially when it hurts you this deeply.â
Hongjoong tried to meet your eyes that were cast down on your fingers on your lap, fiddling with his handkerchief. Was it your boyfriend? He swore if it was Jung Wooyoung he was going to teach that boy a lesson.
Hesitantly, you allowed yourself to speak freely to him.
A moment of weakness?
âI-I overheard Youngieâs friends when I was in the libraryâŚthey were about to leave for practice andâŚâ you felt that lump in your throat creep up higher, making you want to sob again as you remembered what they said. âThey said that they felt b-bad for him.â
Bad for him?
âItâs a bitâŚtmiâŚsir. Iâm sorry itâs hard to speak about it.â You stared at the edge of your skirt, feeling the shame and embarrassment you had felt earlier crawling on your skin.
âAh? TMI.â Hongjoong crossed his arms over his chest, trying to play it off as if itâs nothing to make it comfortable for you to tell him. âWell, Ms. L/N, we are two adults, arenât we not? Plus, itâs after university hours. Iâm here for you right now as a friend and Iâd like to help soothe your troubles if you would let me.â
It was almost too easy the way you caved into his words. Jung Wooyoung did not deserve a sweet girl like you.
âYoungieâs teammatesâŚsaid they feel bad for him because I havenâtâŚâ you paused, heat blooming in your tear-stained cheeks. âI havenât slept with him.â Then you felt that ache in your heart return. âI donât want to lose him, Mr. Kim. I love him so much. I-I want to be a good girlfriend.â
Hongjoongâs heart broke. His beautiful wilted rose. How dare those dumb boys speak so ill of you?
âYouâre a good girlfriend Iâm sure, Ms. L/N.â He reassured you with such calmness, his words made you perk up a little. âYou didnât hear these words from Wooyoung himself right?â
You nodded.
âBut even thoughâŚI still want to make him feel good. He always makes me feelâŚâ you trailed off, realizing that you were talking about the intimate things you and your boyfriend do. âItâs not that I donât want to be with Wooyoung like thatâŚI justâŚI donât want to disappoint him.â
âDisappoint him how?â
âWooyoung has been with girlsâŚwith experience. Heâs my first boyfriend and heâs the first man to ever touch m-meâŚkiss meâŚâ
Hongjoong was fighting back the attraction grew the more you spoke about your lack of experience. He couldnât believe those boys had you questioning your worth all because you were scared to go all the way with your boyfriend.
âI-I even tried watchingâŚvideosâŚon how I can do things for WooyoungâŚbut I just am too scared to initiate it. What if I do something wrong and it goes horribly?â
âYou shouldnât need to worry about that. Iâm sure yourâŚâ Hongjoong held himself back from saying what he said with jealousy. ââŚboyfriend would be more than happy to teach you. Has he offered to?â
You shook your head.
âAhâŚI see.â Hongjoong sat back, trying to think of what to say next. âIâm pretty sure what you lack is practiceâŚâ he trod carefully, gauging your expression with each word he was choosing. âYouâll never know til you give it a try. With everything in life, you learn as you go.â
He watched as you took each word seriously, a rather sweet pensive look on your face as you nodded at his advice. Hongjoong hoped he didnât cross the line by saying that and made things awkward between the two of you.
âIf I may speak as another human being helping another,â Hongjoong continued, hoping to calm your stormy mind. âI just hope you donât feel pressured to do anything with your boyfriend or anyone. Itâs very sweet of you to want to do something this intimate with someone you desire but Iâd rather you wonât do anything youâre not comfortable with.â
You fiddled with the hem of your skirt, going over all the caring and sweet affirmations Mr. Kim was giving you. How was it you felt so safe with him? He was too kind to youâŚyet you enjoyed the company he gave.
When Wooyoung wasnât able to take you home from extended practices and last minute cancellations and texts, Professor Kim was always there to somehow salvage the day. To stop the breaking of your heart with his warm smile and effort to get to know you and make conversation.
âM-Mr. KimâŚâ
You finally spoke. Hongjoong smiled warmly at the call of his name. He observed how your cheeks began to flush. Your teeth sink into your lower lip as you hesitate to continue. You suck in a shaky breath, forcing yourself to be brave and look him in the eye.
âCould you guide me?â
Nothing but your voice rang in his ears at this moment. Hongjoong was shocked by the question. Was it a question? With the way your eyes were bleary and glossy, how your lips were trembling, and how flustered you appeared. It was a plea.
âMs.L/NâŚ.â He tried to resist as much as he could, knowing that if he were to cross the line, he wouldnât be able to go back. You were his forbidden desire. If he were to take a bite, he would want nothing more than to consume you.
You knew what you asked was silly and inappropriate, and a part of you regretted asking but if you were to leave this room right now, all you would be able to think about was how Wooyoungâs friends talked about you and wonder how much Wooyoung shared to his friends about yours and his relationship.
Mr.Kim looked speechless and flustered from what you asked of him. Maybe you shouldnât have asked.
âMr.Kim, I-Iâm so sorry,â you quickly blurted out, trying to salvage the odd atmosphere. âPlease forget everything I said. Thank you so much for comforting meâ
"Are you sure you want me to help, Ms. L/N?â Hongjoong stopped your rambling, taking your hand that you hadnât realized was trembling from nerves but the moment he spoke and he touched you, your body found a sense of calm. âI just donât want to make you do anything youâll regret.â
Oh, he wanted to help.
âI-I wouldnât have asked anyone else but you...I feel safe with you.â You mumbled shyly, staring at his pretty hand holding yours, his thumb rubbing soothingly over your knuckles.
âYour trust in me is something I shall cherish and I wouldnât dare break it.â He looked you in the eyes as he said that, the warmth and intensity of them made your heart flutter. âI promise Iâll keep it strictly professional and Iâll make sure to put your comfort first.â
Your heart fluttered again. âO-okay.â
âHow would you like this to go?â
âI-Iâm not sureâŚWooyoung usually takes the lead whenever we do anything more than kissingâŚâ you were speaking so softly, it was pulling at Hongjoongâs heartstrings. You were so precious. âI wouldnât mind you taking the leadâŚteach me how to make Wooyoung feel good.â You squeezed his hand nervously and he kept his soft smile on his face, hiding his excitement.
Youâll let him take the lead?
âOkay, sweetheart. I promise I wonât do anything youâre not comfortable with okay?â He caressed your cheek fondly, forcing himself to not brush your lips with his thumb. âTell me to stop when it gets too much.â
âThank you, sir.â You whispered, feeling all tense as he got closer.
Sir? Were you trying to kill him? He scooted closer, your knees touching his own. âDo I have permission to touch you, darling?â
The pet name made you feel just a little bit more hotter. The way he said it, his voice a low purr, made you feel things you thought youâd only feel with Wooyoung.
âY-yes, sir.â
Experimentally, he slowly glided his hand up the side of your thigh, the sweet gasp falling from your lips making him smirk against your neck. He brushed his lips against your neck, before whispering in your ear. âYouâve watched videos as research, correct?â
You stuttered out your response, feeling your body grow warm with the way his hand smoothed up and down your thigh, never going higher than where your skirt stopped. âI didâŚâ Was it wrong that you wanted his hand to move higher?
Hongjoong held back from kissing your neck, testing the waters of what exactly he could do to you. His hand moved to your waist now, caressing the curve of your side then stopping so that his thumb was just below the underside of your bra covered chest.
âWhy donât you show me what you learned, hm? Then Iâll guide you along the way.â He suggested, his tone going just a little lower than usual.
And thatâs how you found yourself on your knees, between your professor's trousered thighs, your eyes looking at him with such uncertainty and the willingness to learn.
âDonât be shy. Iâm sure you won't disappoint,â Hongjoong reassured you, petting your head lovingly while his thoughts were going wild at the mere sight of you all cute and demure between his legs.
âO-okay.â
As you had watched and observed, you placed your hands on his thighs. They trembled a little. What if you messed up here too? You shook the thought away. Professor Kim was going to guide you. Youâll be okay and then youâll be able to make Wooyoung feel good too.
All of this was for Wooyoung.
You slowly slid your hands up his thighs feeling the smooth fabric of his trousers as you recounted the videos you had seen. You remembered how the woman in the video would trace her fingers over the manâs groinâŚbut was Hongjoong evenâŚturned on?
You remember how stiff Wooyoung would get when you were on his lap as you two made out, his hands running up and down your sides then over the curve of your ass, squeezing it.
Do you need to kiss Mr. Kim too?
Before asking, you experimentally softly placed your palm against his groin, blushing to find that he was hot and rather stiff through his pants. A shaky breath escaped him and you retracted your hand.
âW-was that not okay?â
âIt was fine,â he managed a smile for you, getting hard at just how shy and sweet you were. âYouâre doing fine.â
âO-okay,â you swallowed the lump in your throat, gliding your palm over his clothed groin before sliding higher, your other hand joining to unbuckle his belt.
Each gentle and inexperienced touch or ghost of your fingers over his crotch was making his cock twitch to life. It was so easy for him to be turned onâŚwellâŚbecause it was you. It was endearing how focused yet nervous you were and once you tugged his briefs down low enough for his cock to spring up, your eyes stared at his length.
From his reclined position on the couch, his legs spread to accommodate you, he was able to notice the way your thighs squeezed to tether at the sight of him.
Your face was hot as your eyes took in the sight of his cock. It was way more intimidating to see one in person than on a screenâŚwas it odd for you to think it was rather pretty? The head was a soft pink and it glistened with something that made your tongue somehow itch to want to try and wrap your mouth around him. Would he fit in your mouth? Would he fit inâ you stopped yourself from thinking that. You canât go all the way with Mr. Kim, you were going to do that with Wooyoung.
Feeling his warm gaze on you, you gently wrapped your hand around his length. The feeling of him hot and heavy in your palm, the girth of him, made your core pulse.
Hongjoong bit his lip at the gentle touch, the smoothness of your palm, and the dainty way you held him making him sensitive to whatever you were doing. He knew it wasnât on purpose that you were prolonging any sort of movement, you werenât sure what to do next.
âTell me what you learned,â he managed to speak calmly. âOr what you observed.â
Squeezing your thighs together and inching closer to get into a comfortable position, you thought of what to answer. âIn the videosâŚthe girls take their partner in their mouthâŚand some just move their handâŚI'm not sure what to do next, Iâm sorry.â You looked away, embarrassed.
This was exactly why you never initiated it with Wooyoung. If you did and you messed up or did not even follow through, he wouldâve mentioned it to his friends somehow in their talks.
Hongjoong saw how nervous you were and tried to suppress the desire to command you what to do and how you should do it, he placed his hand over yours that was softly holding his cock. He couldnât be mean to youâŚas much as he wanted to completely control you and make you feel pleasure that would have you falling apart for him, he wanted to be gentle with you.
âIâll guide you, okay?â His other hand petted the top of your head, making the nerves yo I had been feeling dwindle. You nodded.
âYou have to spit on it first, sweetheart.â
His words made your eyes widen. The dirty notion was embellished with a sweet term of endearment. Hearing it from him, from the mouth where only kindness, care and knowledge was all you heard come out of it, made you feel warm.
âSpit on it?â
âI know it sounds odd but itâll help. Iâll guide you on how to use your hand first. Donât be shy, darling.â
His encouragement only made you want to do as he says. You told yourself it only feels weird because youâve never done it before and Mr. Kim was kind enough to help you be more confident when the time comes for you to do it with your boyfriend.
Leaning over, you collected your saliva and spat softly. Hongjoong bit back any sound that dared escape him at the moment not ready to break the promise of being professional for your sake but the warmth of your spit and how shyly you did it turned him on even more.
âNow,â he guided your hand. âSpread it around with my precum like this.â He loosely moved your hand, letting your dainty fingers be covered by the mix of your spit and his precum. âItâll be easier to move your hand this way, itâll feel good.â
You nodded, feeling the slickness against your palm and how it now easily glided along his length with his hand still over yours.
âYou have to hold it just a little tighter.â He closed his hand over yours a little tighter but not too tight but just enough to tell you how much pressure you should be applying.
âL-like this?â You adjusted your grip and slowly while your hand moved in slow up and down motions, he removed his hand and a deep sigh of bliss left him.
âJust like that, sweetheartâŚjust like that.â His voice dipped lower and his head rolled back a little, giving you the perfect view of his sharp jawline and pink lips.
Your eyes kept shifting from his face and to his cock in your hand, entranced somehow by the idea of how he was feeling good by just your hand. Watching a video was completely different from actually doing it. You recalled the way a girl in a video would twist her hand as she glided her hand up and down, and you decided to try the motion.
Hongjoong hissed out a curse at the new movement. âThat feels good.â His hips bucked up a little, pushing his cock up in your hand.
Feeling a little braver, you leaned forward to press your lips on the head of his cock, kissing it and feeling heat surge to your core at how warm the tip was against your lips.
Hongjoong lifted his head from its thrown back position to look at you, the sudden sensation of your soft lips on his cock turning him on further.
âYou want to try that already?â He asked, his hand gripping the armrest of the couch when your doe eyes looked up at him so innocently, your lips wrapped around the head of his cock, and nodded, it was driving him crazy. It was getting harder and harder to retain any sense of composure. âGo ahead, sweetheart. Show me what you learned. Youâre already doing so well. You look so cute like this too.â
His words of praise and compliments made both your heart and core throb. It made you try even harder to please him. You wondered if it was okay that you were getting wet. You could feel your slick sticking to the gusset of your panties and against the lips of your pussy.
Hongjoong moaned softly when he felt your hot tongue swirling around his cock head. He twitched within your hand continued their rhythmic twisting and up and down rhythm. He watched as you tasted him. He could see the way your brows furrowed at the taste and when he felt you take more of him in your mouth and suckle at the sensitive tip of his cock, you were making it harder for him to not buck his hips up into your pretty mouth.
âYou doing okay?â He asked, gently placing his hand behind the back of your head, caressing you.
You nodded, humming, the vibrations of your sound adding some extra pleasure to the way you were giving him head.
âF-fuck, youâre doing so good, sweetheart. Such a good girl.â
The way he said that made your pussy clench. Why did that have some effect on you? It sounded so hot coming from him and it made you want to please him even more.
Eventually, you took what you could of him in your mouth, fighting back your gag reflex and bobbing your head shallowly along his cock. Your hand continued to jerk what you couldnât fit of his length in your little mouth. You were aching so bad, you couldnât help but let your free hand slide between your thighs to find your pussy, surprised at how wet you were. It was easy to spread your arousal all over your cunt and begin massaging your clit the way you liked, settling for the friction of your fingers.
Hongjoong noticed your dainty hand between your legs. The sight of you suckling and bobbing your cute head up and down along his cock, and touching yourself was sending him to the edge. Plus your lips tinted with pink gloss were mixing with your saliva as you continued to suck him off. You were so fucking cute.
âIâm close darling. Youâre doing so well. You had nothing to be so nervous about. F-fuck.â He shuddered when he felt the head of his cock hit the back of your throat and you squeaked so adorably, the sound muffled. What a cute little slut you were touching yourself as you stuffed your little mouth with his cock. Though he was saying such sweet praises, deep down he wanted to fuck his cock into your mouth and watch you cry from taking him. He was betting youâd look up at him with wide pleading eyes with tears as you let him use you as his personal cock sleeve.
The mere thought of that sent him over the edge and without warning, he came. A small squeak left you as sudden hot spurts of cum spilled into your mouth. You latched off of him in surprise, your hand still pumping him as he came. His moans and the way his head was thrown back, made you stop touching yourself so you could focus fully on the way he climaxed all over your face.
âFuck!â He groaned as his hand that was cradling your head gripped your hair and his hips bucked up into your hand, riding out his high. You whimpered as he tugged at your hair, the sensation making your clit throb. Why did that feel good? Why did having his release on your cheeks and in your mouth, turned you on?
âOpen up, darling. Let me see.â Hongjoong tugged your hair back almost forcibly, his gaze almost predatory, it scared you a bit. Youâve never seen such a dark, menacing yet charming expression on your sweet and kind professor.
You parted your lips and he smirked.
He wondered if you knew just how cute and ruined your look right now. Pink gloss smeared over your lips and your cheeks flushed and stained with his white sticky cum, and the best of all, his seed was on your tongue.
He wished he could take a picture.
You didnât realize you were breathing slowly as your heart was racing and he stared down at you with a glint in his eye that you couldnât quite place.
âYou look so pretty like this, darling.â His grip on your hair loosened and his hand moved to cup your cheek, his thumb dipping into your mouth as you still obediently kept your lips parted for him. He smeared more of his cum all over your lips and chin, finding the idea of him on your skin so hotâŚitâs like he marked you. âSuch a good girl.â He cooed and you didnât know why you did what you did but you swallowed his salty release, and his reaction made it all worth it. âWhat a perfect girl you are.â
His praise only made your heart flutter, his words only feeding that part of you that wanted to please himâŚto please Wooyoung.
âD-do you think Woo will like it?â You asked, your voice a little hoarse as you sat there on your knees, looking up at him so sweetly.
Hongjoong held back from rolling his eyes at the mention of the boy who didnât deserve you. He masked his annoyance with a smile. âHeâll like it, darling. You did really well. I mean it.â He took his handkerchief and began to clean you up, gently dabbing your cheek.
Despite the ache between your thighs, you couldnât stop the way a smile grew on your face at the approval from your most trusted mentor.
âThank you so much, Mr. Kimâ
âHongjoong.â He cut you off with a gentle smile, looking at you lovingly.
âWhat?â You stuttered that same feeling you felt earlier, the confusion of the same way he made your heart flutter like Wooyoung does.
âYou can call me Hongjoong when itâs just the two of us, darling. I think with how close weâve gottenâŚIâd like you to call me by my name. Donât you think weâre rather close?â
There was something about his eyes that captivated you. It was so magnetic it was hard to not be completely wonderstruck and in control of that powerful gaze.
All you could do was nod.
âThatâs a good girlâŚâ he cooed, smiling warmly. âPerhaps, you need more guidance. You want to be a good girlfriend for your Wooyoung right?â
You did, you wanted to be the best girlfriend for him.
âI doâŚâ
âSometimes what you see online is not entirely reliable. Iâm offering youâŚprivate lessonsâŚdoesnât that sound good for you?â
You nodded, letting him pull you up on and onto his lap, gasping when your core pressed against his thigh.
âIâll teach you all there is to know. I want what's best for you and for you to know exactly what youâre getting into.â He ran his hand up and down your thigh, slowly. âYou donât want to disappoint Wooyoung, right?â
âI donât SirâŚâ you said so quickly.
So innocent. So naive. So dumb. So perfect for him to ruin.
He never thought heâd get to this point.
All this time, he has only ever admired you and desired you from afar. He kept his reputation as a well-loved and kind professor so that no one and you, especially you, would ever question his motives.
âNow, I think we should try this again. You did really well but I can teach you a little extra something that will make your boyfriend so, so, so happy.â
feel free to scream in my askbox about the fic I will gladly fangirl with you and I love feedback. It keeps me writing.
special tags : @khjcs @skteezcursed @caityelise99
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Gods & Monsters (p. sh, l. hs)
pairing. step-brother sunghoon x female reader x step-brother heeseung
genre. step-siblings AU, pwp, dubcon, fluff smut humor angst etc
warnings. morally grey characterizations(mostly Sunghoon), profanity, toxicity, mentions of body/weight, sibling rivalry, cheating, mentions of death, full smut warnings under cut. minors DNI.
wc. 23,000+
now playing. Gods & Monsters//Lana Del Rey
a/n. dear readers, I know you have waited and waited and waited, and I want to say thank you for that, I appreciate the patience𫶠please remember to be nice, I hope it was worth the waitđŠˇ
ps- apologizing now for reblogging this to tag everyone, and double apology to anyone I did not get, forgive međŠˇđŠˇđŠˇ
smut warnings. Sunghoonâs mean⌠Heeseung isnât, coercion, blackmailing, dirty talk, use of âprincess/baby/good girlâ, degradation, praise, throat/breast-fucking, oral, spitting, spanking, choking, desperation, overstimulation, unprotected sex.
âI still canât believe theyâre related.âÂ
The brothers in question exit from the same car, the older of the two coming out of the backseat drowning in a black hoodie that hangs past his fingers, masking his eyelids where the hood droops over his head. Some old vintage band hoodie perhaps, the logo too tattered and faded to read. He moves like a black cloud amidst the drizzle of the beginning of a storm. Slow, dangerous, impending, waking shivers up bystanderâs spines with his presence.
The younger strides statuesquely in all his glory, head held high flaunting his perfectly sculpted 90 degree jawline that could cut through glass windows. His steps move in a sleek stride, akin to floating in the way he moves as if no crack, rock, or rigged ground could break his model-like Paris fashion week runway walk. His steely gaze never deters, not once distracted by the many calls of fawning and giggles following his lead.
âTheyâre so opposite.â Your friends continue to chatter, whispering in front of you where you stand by the schoolâs parking lot sharing your morning greetings; most of the time before class is consumed by gossip and recounts of the weekend, the usual banter you mindlessly sift through. âI guess they look somewhat alike, both tall.. slender, similar in build.â
They shrug and turn to face you, eyebrows lifting curiously and deviously grinning. âYou probably know better than anyone now that your momâs dating their dad.â
Your friends chortle back and forth for a minute about how even Mr. Park is still attractive at his age, and itâs a shame that both brothers donât take after their father. âWell? Come on,â one of them pokes at your arm. âDonât be selfish, spill!â
They want to know more about the Park brothers, details you canât divulge into, because really you donât know much yourself. No more than every other student that may share a class here and there with one.
âBet she has a crush on one of them.â You hear between a giggle, a round of laughs bursting and vocals rising in pitch.
âHeeseungâs so her type, bet sheâs already hooking up with him.â
âNah, Sunghoon has something about him behind that cleancut preppy image, you can tell heâs hiding some secrets.â
âIâve only met them once,â you interrupt before they can continue to dissect and assume. âThey seem..â shrugging you fail to come up with much else, heading off to class unable to tear your thoughts away from the two brothers.
Opposite from each other would be an understatement. Theyâre completely unlike, a scale weighed down on one end as the other lifts high, lit up by light and praise.
The first and only time you met the boys outside of school had been over dinner, your mother had been a nervous wreck; spinning and running around in a frenzy, forcing you to wear some high-collared prim and proper dress that hit below your knees. âCanât have Mr. Park thinking Iâve raised some floozy now can I sweetie?â
Meanwhile, a frown etched your face as you gazed across the table where two men sat uninterested, phone in hand, still sporting their same attire from school earlier. Nonetheless their father showed up dapper as ever, crisp suit and tie, hair coiffed back neatly away from his face displaying every feature even in the candle-lit all too fancy restaurant heâd dragged you all to.Â
âIâll order for us.â Mr. Park carried himself with a confident arrogance, one passed onto only one of his sons from what you could tell.
âNow boys, put the phones away.â He said shortly, lips pursed together glaring daggers at the two. âAnd sit up straight would you? What have I told you about hunching over Heeseung? Remove that damn hood while youâre at it, this is a fine dining establishment not In-N-Out.â
Mr. Park snapped quickly, his demeanor immediately altering when taking in your mother, speaking to her in a sugary sweet tone. âYou look absolutely breathtaking tonight my love.â
She flushed, making your nose twitch in disgust and divert your attention away to the menu, anything to not stare ahead at Sunghoonâs flawless side-profile, not that you hadnât taken the time to while he scrolled engrossed through his phone, fingers tapping and tapping while a smirk grew on his lips.
The evening had been uneventful for the most part, your parents gushing about their trip to Greece last month; the one that your mother came back from squealing and proclaiming âI think heâs the one.â
Mr. Park had quite a bit to say about Sunghoon though, clasping his son on the shoulder with a pride-filled smile. âOne day heâll be my senior VP, my Hoonâs got a bright future ahead of him. Real smart boy this one, got offered a free ride through university without even needing my help or a generous donation.â
Sunghoon laughed deeply, waving off his fatherâs praise. âItâs all thanks to you dad, seriously what good would I be without your aid to finance the best education.âÂ
A pearly white sharp smile had your mother gushing, letting out a cringe-worthy sigh with her palms pressed together. âOh, all my hard work to provide the same and here mine is failing three of her easiest classes.â
âMom!â
âAh, yes, it seems you can deliver the ingredients on a silver platter, even hand feed them and your children could still disappoint you.â Mr. Parkâs eyes thinned, head tilting in the direction of his elder son. Heeseung avoided him, continuing to lose himself in some mobile game with his phone hidden beneath the table as he had all night. âBut you know, Hoonâs a great tutor, so good that Iâve had teachers beg me to let him work over summer. Education comes first of course, donât want him to stress and take on too much while interning at my company over break.â
Mr. Park motions toward you, cocking an eyebrow. âMaybe he could help you this school year, Iâll even allow him to do it for free.â
Sunghoon hid a grimace behind his smile, nodding and blinking rapidly at his fatherâs suggestion. âWould love to.â
Heâd made you swap contact information, but Sunghoon never bothered to reach out and set-up any sessions. Not as if he had the opportunity to approach you in class, not that he even knew you shared any classes.
Deep in thought you strolled to the back of the class, slumping into your seat to tune out and lose yourself, much like everyone else who opted to hide out from questions and eye-contact with the professors.
Heeseung always loomed back here as well, the corner preferred, an oversized hood tugged over his head to shadow the upper half of his face leaving his lips mostly visible. Most likely as unaware of your presence as you once were of his, at least until that dinner.
You could say something to him, reach out and tap his shoulder, start to wave to greet him when you enter class.. something about that night crossed your mind time and time again, pivoting the sour thoughts away; your mom and Mr. Park could always break-up anyway.Â
Momđ: âHave important news tonight sweetie, come home right after school!â
âI wanted to tell you before the official announcement gets sent out.â Your mother smiles wide before you as if a clothes hanger has gotten lodged between her cheeks.
âWhat announcement?â
âAs you know, things have escalated quickly between myself and Mr. Park.â She continues, grabbing a hold of your hands to control the anxious tremor rolling through her limbs. âI know you loved your father more than anyone, as did I, but you know how happy Mr. Park has made me.â
The rest of her words blend with white static noise filling your ears. It was inevitable that this day would come eventually, from the first time you peaked through your window blinds and caught sight of her flirting with your next door neighbor as they pretended to water the bushes and shared sneaking smiles, the itch up your spine resembling a warning.
âWeâre moving in together.â She finishes, chewing at her lower lip nervously. âAll of us.â
All of us.
Mom. Mr. Park. You.
and his two sons.
âSunghoonâs really smart.â Your mother forces a smile after reading an e-mail from your professor over your shoulder. âIâm sure Jinyeong mentioned something about one of his sons tutoring to make extra money, couldnât have possibly been about Heeseung.â
Typing out a response to your professor about her jam-packed schedule and that she will outsource educational assistance for you, she huffs, leaning back after hitting send. âThat Sunghoon is a God-send if you ask me.â
I didnât ask.Â
âIâll have to beg him to help you out, maybe his father can encourage him with extra incentive.â Frowning at you, she tugs on the flimsy string of your tank top. âWhat have I told you about covering up more around the house? We live with men again, you canât walk around displaying all of your body so carelessly anymore.â
Your mother could really care less if you feel offended by her commentary on your appearance, evident by her gaze scanning downward with an irritable tweak tugging her lip. âYou know, I donât pay for all these cute little gym sets for you to use as loungewear. Whenâs the last time you worked out? Slacking off in school and doing a poor job of maintaining your figure? What type of honorable hard-working man do you think youâll be able to attract with no brains or looks to your advantage?â
âYes mother.â
âYes what?â
âUh.â Sitting up ramrod straight, you frazzle, having tuned her out some minutes ago. âIâll study harder and workout more.â
âAnd?â She nods to a baggy full of grapes by your side, cocking a snarky eyebrow at you.
âOh..â youâre tempted to mutter something about how youâve only had a handful, not even having time yet today to eat a proper meal. She wouldnât care anyway. âEat less.â
She grins, reaching over to tuck loose tendrils behind your ear. âYou should pop into Jinyeongâs home gym downstairs, thereâs even a sauna, itâs lovely.â
Unfortunately for you, sheâs right, your step-fatherâs home gym is lovely.
âRich people really live differently.â You mumble, popping your headphones on to warm-up with a walk on the treadmill. You canât complain about your new living situation, Jinyeong, as he insists you call him now(because you both know dad would be too weird) has been extremely welcoming and accommodating to not only your mother but you as well. His sons on the other hand, too soon to say much about.
Heeseung has hardly spoken more than a few words, just as closed off and quiet as he comes across at school, and Sunghoon, well Sunghoon is perfect.
10 minutes of humming along to your sweat playlist and bouncing random thoughts around, you walk the gym contemplating if today should be an upper or lower body day, one accidental glance at your backside in the mirror solidifies your decision to focus on your lower half today.
âDeadlifts it is.â You groan to yourself, wiping your palms free of moisture before adjusting the weight. âNo way Jinyeong lifts 150âŚâ
âHe doesnât.â A loud deep tone passes beyond the low volume of your music, making you gasp and turn around in your bent position too fast, easily losing your balance and landing on your ass.
Sunghoon glares at you from the entrance, trudging in with a loose muscle tank and sweats on. âWhat the hell are you doing in here?â
âUhm, working out?â
He scowls, watching you struggle to get back up as he steps around you to steal your spot before the barbell. âAnd why pretel do you think you can be here during my time?â
âYour time?â You guffaw, tempted to roll your eyes. âWell damn, I didnât know we had a schedule to adhere to?â
âYou think youâre funny.â Continuing to glower, he shoos you away with one hand, directing his chin toward the door. âHa ha, now leave.â
âI just got here?!â
âI could care less.â Sunghoonâs jaw tightens, fully flexed in all its sharp glory. âAlexa, play Hoonâs Workout.â
To your disgust, Jay Park blasts through the speakers hung from corner to corner, the familiar beat of MOMMAE plays around you.
Of course he listens to Jay Park.. douche.
âI said get lost.â He rasps, stretching his digits out to wrap around the barbell.
Allowing your eyes to roll up, you shrug and glance around opting to set up on a yoga mat to stretch while he occupies the squat rack area. Sunghoon snarls behind you, annoyed that you wonât take the message heâs stated loud and clear to leave.Â
What are you even doing here? Do you even workout? He grunts, hoisting the barbell up with a burn building up in his thighs and calves, peering out of the corner of his eye where youâve begun to stretch.
Nice ass.Â
Wait.Â
What.
Shaking his head, he turns away to take a swig from his water, rubbing the heel of his palm against his eyelids. Licking his lips, he throws his head back for more, turning casually to watch your ass push out as you stretch your waist and back on all fours.
What the fuck.Â
Sunghoon coughs, clearing his throat before returning to his lifting stance, adrenaline pumping faster with each sneaking look he steals as you twist and groan with a crack coming from your back. The stretch has you faced away, a perfect opportune moment to get a real good look, taking in a deep gulp as he squints to admire how obscene your workout shorts are; scrunched deep enough between your ass to show off everything, absolutely everything.
He groans, half from the ache in his lower back, half from the ache forming between his thighs. Sunghoon shakes it off, whatever it is, toying with the ring suddenly tightening up on his finger. âHey, you.â
He says, intending to come off rude. âIâm done over here now.â
Without much more, he turns to the free weights, going for the 50 lbs to warm up his triceps. An excited jump swoops through his stomach as you get up and make your way back to the squat rack, adjusting the weight to less than half of what he normally does his reps with. His tongue clicks upon noticing that from the mirror where he watches you get into position, moving away from the barbell on the floor to lower your shoulders beneath the rack.Â
âTerrible form.â He mutters, unknowingly too loud with your music paused for this very reason.
âExcuse me?â You snap, turning at your neck to glare at him. âYou still have more to say?â
Sunghoon drops the weights obnoxiously, loudly landing on the foam mats. âYour form looks like shit.â He smirks, turning around and snapping his fingers. âWho taught you to curve your spine like that? Thatâs a sure way to hurt yourself, princess.â
âDonât call me that.â You say with a disgusted sneer. âMy forms fine.â
âItâs trash.â
âYouâre trash.â
âOooh, you get a lot of reaction with those comebacks?â His tongue clicks repeatedly, stepping up behind your back to grab your hips. âThis.â He smacks the side of your thigh, igniting a jolt up your back. âSqueeze your ass and stomach in, at the same time princess.â
Against your better judgment and that little irritating voice squealing in the back of your mind at the close proximity youâve landed yourself in to the Park Sunghoon, you do as he says, albeit struggling to hold in your core and glute muscles. âGood good.â He says in a low whisper much too close behind you, palms dragging up to your waist to squeeze. âNow bend your knees, the back of your ankles better be hitting your ass if youâre doing it right.â
âYou canât be serious.â
âAs a heart attack.â He grins, pressing closer until his groin meets your bottom. âEventually you should be able to hit that, if youâre doing it right.â
Sunghoon would know after all, slowly licking his lips behind you, he focuses on the low groan vibrating out from your chest as you push back up to stand and huff.
âSee how that felt different than that weak shit you were doing?â
âWhatever.â Rolling your eyes, you squat for the next 10 minutes, thighs on fire from engaging your muscles in a new, different way. Dumb jerk was right, of course he was.
âNot too shabby.â Sunghoon says, handing you a water bottle from the mini-fridge, because yes, even their gym has a fridge. âBut you could be better.â
His pointed teeth protrude at the next roll of your eyes, wrapping long fingers around your upper arm before youâre able to get away. âThis wasnât an invitation by the way, I better not see you in here again during my gym time.â
He winks, smacking your backside as he shoves your arm away. âAnd I mean that!â
Grunting, you pat off the sweat from your back, ready to hit him with a round of offensive drags about his form.
Sunghoonâs back muscles greet you as you turn back around, jaw falling to the floor with each twitchy flex they give as his triceps burst and he groans with each lift.
Right.
Things could be worse.
Things could definitely be worse.
Things are definitely worse.
After another email from your professor, your mother begged over dinner for your step-brother to help you pass the classes youâre lacking in. Much to his reluctance and added bribery from his father, he agreed with a forced wide smile, glaring ominously at you from the corner of his eye
âThis is such a waste of time.â Sunghoon hasnât tried to make any qualms about his disdain for your current predicament. Moaning and groaning more than actually bothering to assist you or answer your questions in any type of way, at least when heâs not fixing his perfectly blown out hair if even a strand moves out of place.
âI took this class last year.â He continues to whine. âWasnât even hard, well..â his eyes drag over to one side, head shaking at your less than flattering hunched over position. âWasnât hard for me, but I suppose for someone like you.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Youâre quick to snap back, leaning away from your study guide to stretch your arms above your head. Sunghoon doesnât bother to hide taking in the arch your spine lifts into, chest pushed upward the more you lean back to loosen your shoulders. He even hums appraisingly, pursing out his lips pleased.
âWhen we were working out together the other day, I noticed something about you.âÂ
âBefore or after you chewed me out for invading your space?â You snicker, rolling your eyes and settling back to sit comfortably. âI told you, Iâll join a gym again and leave you to be at peace.â
âItâs not that.â Sunghoon waves you off, nodding to the stack of study guides. âYou need to pass these classes, right?âÂ
âThatâs why Iâm here, genius. Taking up your sweet precious time.â
He doesnât miss the snarky attitude you add, not sparing him attention as you return to rereading the same question for the fifth time.
âI was my high schoolâs valedictorian, top of the Deanâs list for the past 2 years, scouted by every Ivy League in the world really.â He shrugs, motioning to the display of plaques and honors hung up on his bedroom wall. âYou know that though, you canât be that stupid. Even extraterrestrials wish Iâd visit to share my wealth of knowledge.â
âGood God man, get to the point.â You glower, ready to snap the mechanical pencil in your grip in half.
âThis tutoring thing is pointless.â He pauses, deciding to leave out the part about you actually being stupid. âGirls like you have no purpose in excelling academically, especially not now with my fatherâs last name attached to yours.â
âWhat the fuck does that even mean? Girls like me?âÂ
Sunghoon smirks, nodding slowly as his gaze drags from your crossed legs up to your torso and the less than fond grimace you stare him down with.
âGirls like you..â he reaches for your knee, walking his index and middle finger up your thigh. âThis little emo baggy clothes aesthetic, youâll grow out of it someday. Itâs what your mom wants, right? Judging by the way she scolds every move you make, fixes your hair, makes you wear those drabe goody church outfits around my father to impress him.â
Sunghoon leans in closer, falling to a whisper as his digits reach the top of your thigh. âWho knew what you were hiding under all this,â he tugs on your t-shirt, biting down on his full pink bottom lip. âThereâs a standard to uphold now that our parents have wed.â
He licks his top lip purposely, leaving behind a coat of spit that accentuates how perfectly shaped his pout is without even trying. Distracted by his hand playing with your top, you realize too late how close heâs moved his chair to yours. âMoney changes people.â
âWhat? You think I can be easily swayed by a bunch of stuck-up rich assholes like you who think youâre superior just because daddy keeps your bank account full?â Your hand circles his wrist, not without feeling your heart rate spike upon contact. Sunghoonâs as cold to the touch as he looks, grinning when your grip tightens around him.
âI have sure-fire way to find out.â He splits into a smile, gingerly tugging your fingers off his wrist before twisting and rubbing the skin dramatically with a hiss. âHereâs the thing,â Sunghoon stands up, moving to a cabinet full of paperwork, all ordered and labeled much too neatly.Â
âYou want to pass these classes, right?â He stops to look over his shoulder at your confused face. âOr what was that again? Mommyâs not going to fund your European summer vacation trip? That one youâve been dreaming about and making Pinterest boards for since middle school?â
âShe told you about that?â You grumble, whispering to yourself. âThat bitch..â
âShh, thatâs no way to speak about your mother, sheâs a lovely woman.â He winks, snapping his fingers. âHere it is. I took these courses my first year of college. Top grades in my class, of course.â Sunghoon shrugs, pulling out two thick folders. âYou see because of tutoring, Iâve saved all my study guides, assignments, tests, quizzes, cheat sheets, wellâ you get the point. Right here, I have everything to help you pass these courses with minimal effort on your part required.â
âWhy didnât you just say that to begin with?â You say annoyed, standing up to snatch the folders from him.
âNuh-uh-uhââ Sunghoon has the nerve to laugh, lifting the files high above him and throwing back his head to cackle when you jump up in an attempt to steal them anyway. âWhy would I make it that easy for you?â
âWhy not??â You grunt, slapping his arm. âYou donât want to tutor me! I donât want to be here! Letâs do us both this favor so my mom can get off my ass.â
Sunghoon snorts, flicking your chin condescendingly. âFirst lesson in Economics, everything has a price.â
âYou want money??â You ask completely bewildered. âWith all the money your dad gives you, you really need more from me??â
He analyzes the distraught anger building up between your wrinkled eyebrows, nodding and smirking. âI didnât say anything about money.â Sunghoon waves the folders in your face, smacking them lightly on the top of your head before laughing again when you swing at him again.Â
âI said a price.â He thumbs through the stacks of paperwork, biting back a smile. âYou have something I want.â
He steps closer to you, reaching for the hem of your shirt again. âSomething youâve done a real good job of hiding.â
âWhaââ
Sunghoon tilts his chin in, eyes half-lidded with his head angled lower, grazing a thumb across the waistband of your shorts. âHow much are you willing to do for me to get what you need?â
âYouâre not serious.â Your palms itch by your hips, ready to slap the growing smirk off his face.
âMaybe I am..â he trails off, dipping his thumb past the button of your shorts. âDepends..â he tugs, pulling your hips to his. âHow serious are you about your dream summer vacation? Because if I was you.. I wouldnât fuck up this opportunity Iâm offering you.â
âYouââ stammering, you pull away until theÂ
backs of your knees meet the edge of his bed, cursing under your breath. âYou want..â
âWanna fuck you?â Sunghoon says flatly, eyebrows raised to patronize you further. âA lot of air passing through that head of yours?â
âMan, fuck you.â
âIâm giving it my all.â He shrugs, throwing the folders onto his bedside table. âListen, youâre giving me virgin vibes. Is that what this is about?â
âWhat?!â
âAh, I should have known.â Shrugging, he points a finger up and down your figure. âYouâre one of those prudish types. Thatâs why you cover up so much, yeah?â
âIâm not a virgin.â
Sunghoonâs shoulders fall, squinting at you apprehensively. âThen whatâs the deal? What, youâre the only girl within a 50 mile radius that hasnât thought about my dick?â
âYouâre actually insufferable.â You say, stunned that youâve even found yourself having this conversation. âBesides, our parents are married now.â
Sunghoon smiles, not a charming or genuine smile, a vindictive terrifying one at best. âExactly, little step-sister.â
Who knew that the Park Sunghoon is really nothing but your average typical perverted horny young-adult man. You frown, taking in his clean-cut pristine appearance, that shallow sinking sensation of realization melting between your chest.
All men are the same.
âYouâll really help me pass?â
Sunghoon nods greedily, moving into your personal space to nudge your chin. âTrust me, you couldnât fail even if you tried with my help.â
âOkay.â You whisper, scanning his room for a fast way to escape.. if you need to. âWhy me?â
Sunghoon laughs breathily, reaching for the end of your t-shirt to slowly inch up your torso. âWhy not you.â He pokes your navel, index finger dragging upward, tracing the center of your stomach up to where your bra lays.
Whiplash hits hard between the churn in your stomach and a shiver rippling up through your limbs. Given any other scenario, one where you werenât being threatened so-to-speak to pleasure your step-brother, you canât deny that youâd give in willingly either way.Â
Sunghoon in every sense is fatally attractive. From his deep voice, to the aromatic musky sweet cologne wafting off his clean soft exfoliated skin, to his, well, devastatingly gorgeous unflawed face; you have to tell yourself once again, things could be much worse.
âWhat do you want me to do?â
He grins, tapping your forehead with his free hand, index finger prodding condescendingly. âNot that dumb after all. Knew you had it in you princess.â
Sunghoon cups your breast, thumb pushing at your nipples through the cup of your bra. âTake it off.â
He takes one step back, motioning with his chin for you to hurry up. The easy part is pulling your shirt off, not as if he hadnât seen you in a sports bra the other day. Crossing his arms, he nods for you to continue, biceps bulged out from where they clench against his chest. Â
Heat of embarrassment traces up your neck, smoothing the straps of your bra off your shoulders as you look away and reach back to unhook the clasp, dropping the garment down to your feet. Sunghoon pouts his lips, quietly whistling and returning to his spot, much too close, close enough to lodge one of his thighs between yours. âThat wasnât so hard now was it.â
Cupping your hips, he peers down, taking in your chest up close with the top row of his teeth searching for his bottom lip to dig into. Unbeknownst to you, itâs been awhile.
Four weeks actually, Sunghoon realizes at the first twitch of his length against his pants, lodging himself closer to your center for you to feel it.Â
âVery pretty.â
Fastening your waist, his digits dig into your sides, forcing a gasp to spill from your mouth. âI was right.â He says smugly, tickling up past your chest and now hardened nipples. âNoticed those pretty lips first.â
Sunghoon gets your heart racing easily, splaying a palm over your throat as his other hand cups your chin, dipping his thumb into the fat of your bottom lip. âBet $1000 theyâd look even prettier struggling to take my dick.â
His thumb sneaks in past your lips, pressing against the center of your tongue until you whimper, chest pushed up against yours. âShow me how pretty that mouth can look.â
He keeps whispering about your slutty mouth and breasts, thumb shoved into the hilt allowing for you to mimic a blow-job around him. Lips circled around the digit obscenely as you slurp his thumb and dip your head up and down. âThatâs it, suck me real fucking good just like that until I cum all over these pretty tits.â
Sunghoonâs thigh jerks up between yours, digging up higher until his muscle flexes against your warm crotch. âNo gag reflex princess?â He grins, neck bending in close to lavv at the mess of spit pouring free from your lips suctioned around his thumb. âMessy messy messy.â
The grip on your neck tightens, forcing a burning itch up your throat, eyes squeezing shut as you cough and unintentionally bite down on his hand. âFuck!â
Sunghoon hisses, tearing his hand away with a shake to get rid of the sting, glaring at you as he returns to grab your jaw roughly. âWhat the fuck was that?â
Bleary wet eyes stare back at him, bottom lip drawn out innocently, his tongue clicks, shaking his head annoyed. âDonât fucking do that again.â
Sunghoon rumbles deep within his chest, pushing down on your shoulders until you drop to your knees in startlement, recuperating quickly to get between his thighs as he sits and manspreads before you. He slaps your hands away faster than you can say âouchâ, drawing them to your chest with a dramatic pained hiss.
âNot like that,â he tuts, unbuttoning his pants and nodding to the zipper. âIâm even giving you a head start, say thank you.â
Tight-lipped, you crouch in closer and mutter a âThank Youâ, burning head to toe from the embarrassment, because whether you want to admit it or not, Sunghoonâs hot. You can always fib the truth, but the damp material between your thighs will give you away each time; having to clench your legs together for a bit of relief.
âGood, now remember what I said, no biting.â Sunghoon warns you again, pinching your chin. âNo hands either, get me off with that pretty mouth only.â
Lazily, watching you with hooded eyes, Sunghoon reaches lower to run the pads of his fingers down the zipper of his pants, taunting you further. âIâm waiting.â Continuing down, he traces the prominent shape of his cock, starting from the base and working to the tip as he lines the shape. The chubbed up girth clearly visible this up close, already swelling your throat just from looking at it.
The silver zipper gleams back at you, dangling a bit as if to mock you more. Thickly swallowing, you scoot in on your knees, nose brushing the shape on your way to catch the zipper between your lips and struggle to pull it down, his pants tighter from the stretch of his hardened cock ready to rip through the material.
Sunghoon chuckles when you finally manage to get the zipper down, wishing to further humiliate you, if only his cock agreed. âLittle princess doesnât know how to suck dick, huh?â He coos in a fake sweet tone, shifting up to push down his pants past his knees. âWhat do you say?â
âThank you..â
âFast learner, I like that.â He laughs mirthfully, nodding to his hard-on once again. âLetâs see what you got.â
âYou said no teeth.â You say, growing annoyed the more you watch his cock throb, confined by the tight material of his briefs. The wet spot at the tip indicates more than enough that heâs tired of waiting. âTake it out!â Rolling your eyes, you slap his knee, demanding he at least do that.
âNo wonder youâre failing so many classes.â Sunghoon mumbles, rolling his eyes back at you and shoving his briefs down past the wet head of his cock, widening your gaze as you take all of him in, all.
âTwo classes..â you trail off, suddenly antsy as he circles the base of his length and strokes upward fully displaying the full thick long size of his girth. âYouâre huge.â
Sunghoon snorts, squeezing under the head for his foreskin to pull back around the bulbous tip, glistening with precum. âDonât look so terrified, itâs unbecoming.â
Even his fingers brighten with a shade of pink, the whites disappearing as he strokes and tugs against the tip. âNow.â Biting down on his lip he adjusts for the head of his cock to hover near your parted mouth, dragging the wet head slowly along your upper lip. âLetâs see if that gag-reflex is actually nonexistent.â
Without waiting another second he reaches for the back of your head, tangling his fingers through your hair to push your face toward his lap and glide past your lips. The intrusion throws you off initially, coughing around the fat stretch pulling the corners of your lips apart further. âFuck, feels real good.â
The heavy weight of his cock rushes spits down your chin as he builds up a pace, balls hitting your chin the more he works you up and down while simultaneously lifting his hips up to hit the back of your throat. Sunghoon groans, teeth clicking together from biting down hard to keep his voice low, thrusting harder and rougher until your throat gives and loosens up around him allowing him into the back of your throat. âOh fuck!â
Finding the perfect angle to have your mouth constricted around his length, he holds you down; ripping tears from your eyes from the constant burn around your lips, incessantly stimulating the inside of your mouth and suppressing your breathing.
Itâs agonizing at first, making Sunghoonâs abdominal muscles lock up and suck in from the lack of sound coming out of you. His eyes roll back, circling into your mouth easily in disbelief.Â
âYour throats such a perfect little fuckhole for me, huh?â He babbles, finally pulling out. The release pouring out wads of spit down your chin and neck, wide-eyed as you catch your breath.
âIs that pussy wet?â Sunghoon bends forward, reaching to pinch and tug on your stiff nipples, twisting the buds between his fingers. âDonât lie to me, I can see it all over your face.â
âY-yes..â succumbing to the invisible weight against your chest, you nod; head dropping shamefully in a weak attempt to hide what you can only imagine the mess looks like all over your chin; staring down blearily at the river of spit and precum running down your chest, meeting in the middle before splitting off under your chest.
âDoes it hurt?â Slapping your breasts, he grips one, digits kneading into the fat and pushing it up higher on your chest; his other hand wrapping around your neck to lift your gaze back to him. âPussy hurts so bad doesnât it?â
Gulping beneath his grip, your eyes fall shut with a whimper, tears streaking down the sides of your cheeks. Huffing for a breath under his choke as you crumble and canât find your voice to say more.
âCome on,â Sunghoon shakes your neck, jostling your head, making your eyes snap open. âFucking look at me.â He bites, reaching his other hand up to stroke your hair away from your face and examine the wads of tears clumping your eyelashes together. Swollen wrecked lips hung open desperately panting for air, lines of wet and dried tears racing down under your chin. âTell me exactly what your pussy wants.â
Itâs more than degrading, because he knows you donât want it, not really. Not your mind, your heart, but just like the rest, your cunt will always be your downfall. Greedy for cock like any common whore.
âY-you,â you cry, fitting your hand around his wrist as a silent plea to loosen his grip on your throat. âWants you.â
Smirking to one side, his gaze sparks with a different type of vindictiveness, one that lets you know that you wonât be getting none of that. Holding your neck back, he scoots forward until his ass nearly hangs from the bed, gripping around the base of his angry blood-filled cock to slap angrily between your chest. The sudden smack of hot flesh on your wet breasts has you arching up, coughing with another squeeze around your throat. âThink I donât know that princess? I bet you could cum from this alone. You know how big of a slut you have to be to get off just from sucking cock?âÂ
Sunghoon drops your neck with a wide pleased smirk, releasing his hold on you to scoop under your breasts, pushing the fat mounds together for his cock to perfectly sandwich between with a guttural groan. âOh fuck, thatâs it.â
He thrusts viscously, pumping between your breasts, eyebrows bunched together releasing short breathy hisses through his pursed lips. âFuck, look at the way those tits bounce, better than a pussy.â Sunghoon groans, slamming his cock in and out, losing his hold on your breasts the more ferocious his movements become.Â
âHold your tits for me.â Sunghoon growls, snarling when you donât move fast enough. âPush them together, squeeze around me real tight baby.â Grunting, he wraps around the back of your neck, hips moving on their own to fuck between your jiggling breasts, spit and precum guiding the way for his cock to slip right through, the tip hitting the hollow between your collarbone.
Each thrust has you jerking under his control, his hand gripping your nape rougher for more command over his movements. Ramming his girth in and out, he mutters multiple curses, hips twitching up with one last thrust before reaching up into your hair, gathering enough in his hands to create two pigtails.
âBack in that slutty mouth.âÂ
Sunghoonâs pull on your hair snaps your neck back, mouth popping open for him to freely shove the entirety of his size back inside. The tip of his cock slides past your tonsils, finally making you gag and lurch around him, coughing out copious amounts of drool around his size as he relentlessly hammers in chasing after release.
 âThatâs it, thatâs it, thatâs it!â He shouts between gritted teeth, hips angled to stretch your mouth wide open. Balls deep with every inch of his cock drenched in a mess of spit, the heat and suction from your lips grows overbearing; burying as deep as he can with your nose struggling to breathe against his neatly trimmed pubic hairs. âUgh!â
Pulling hard enough on the tufts of hair balled up in his fists, he shouts behind sucked in lips, eyes wrinkled shut to stop himself from screaming out loud. Between panted breath, Sunghoon orders you to swallow, grinding his hips forward leaving you with no choice but to comply. Mouth locked around his cock as long streaks of cum shoot inside the back of your throat, gurgling around his length as he fills you up. Tightening his grip on your hair almost punishingly, he pulls the tufts tightly into his fist; cock buried deep ensuring you take every last drop.
âAll of it.â he croaks, tone breaking into a rasp. âSwallow all of it.â With one more deep grunt, he pulls out, the last bit of cum spilling out onto your chin. Wet cock dragging down your cheek with a satisfied cocky smirk on his face.Â
âYou look way too good with my dick on your cheek, could seriously get hard again just from looking at you.âÂ
Sunghoon sighs, collapsing back on his bed with a long-winded sigh, head dizzy from the aftermath of his orgasm still passing through his limbs. âFuck that was too fucking good.â He says more to himself, sounding elated, completely missing the grimace painting your face as you lick between your teeth, nose scrunched up.
âDone?â
Sunghoonâs hand lifts, waving your question off. âYeah yeah.â
He pushes up to stand just in time to see you use the inside of your shirt to clean off your chin and chest, tongue clicking because he should have made you swallow that too.Â
âIâll let you know when we can have our next session.â Sunghoon winks, standing up to wave the packet of completed aced quizzes and assignments over your head. âIf only you took school as serious as you take sucking cock.â
Snatching the packet from him, you leer, ripping open his bedroom door ready to run for the bathroom to douse yourself in shower gel and scrub the fuck out of your skin, halted as you come face to face with the other Park. Thankfully not your step-father.
Heeseungâs eyes go wide as if heâs been caught, eyes shifting back and forth up and down the hallway for a way to sneak off.Â
âWhat are yoââ
âI can explain!â Heeseung whispers urgently, running a hand through his hair anxiously, grateful that you closed the door behind you. âI mean, I didnât hear anything.â
âWhat?â
âI meanâââhe stutters, waving goodbye and shaking his head dismissively before jogging down the hall to his bedroom.Â
âWeird.â
A much needed shower keeps your mind occupied from delving too deep into what Heeseung could have been doing out there, passing by more than likely. Maybe. Scrubbing your forearms and stomach down until your skin burns, you hiss, replaying the sounds of Sunghoonâs moans and pleasured breathy whines. What the hell did he mean by ânext sessionâ, did he really plan to make this a recurring activity?Â
Why would he want to start up some type of fuck-buddy situationship with you either way? As the bathroom mirror clears up of fog, you brush at the backs of your teeth roughly, swearing that you can still taste particles of his tangy cum. Leave it to some dickhead to be the first to spill his load inside of your mouth, heâs lucky you didnât regurgitate it and spit it all back in his face.
Itâs no worse than the random hot frat guy youâve hooked up with at a party, or bartenders that slipped you their number at a club to meet up at the end of their shift; other than you know, the whole parents married to each other: siblings through matrimony aspect.
Thatâs one way to make yourself feel better about what just happened, shrugging it off as you exit the bathroom and make way to your bedroom, paused on the way down the hall to glimpse in the direction of Heeseungâs room. A low murmur of music drifts from his cracked open door, focusing on your hearing at the familiarity. âIs that?â
Too nosey for your own good, you creep toward his bedroom, lighting up at your correct recognition. âYou like Deftones?â
Heeseung jolts up in his computer chair, dropping the vinyl record in his hands at your surprise entrance. âShit.â
âOh, sorry.â You flinch, hoping your presence didnât crack the record as it hits his bedroom floor. âShould have knocked..â
âMy fault my fault,â he waves calmly, internally screaming with quick a fast analysis of the record and vinyl for any damage. âAll good.â He breathes, finally getting a look at you only to choke on his spit at the towel wrapped around your chest. âOh uh..â
âI love this song.â You nod, moving further into his room to read over the various posters hung up from wall to wall. âWow, you have good taste.â
âWait,â he sits up, ignoring the lack of clothing beneath that towel. And the sweet scent of vanilla and peach now filling his room, the driblets of water still clinging to your skin; glowing in a ridiculously unrealistic manner where you stand..Â
âDid you say you like Deftones?â
âLove them.â You correct, moving inside to sit on the end of his bed, thighs pressed together tight. âMy favorite band actually.â
âNo way.â Heeseung looks down to avoid making it glaringly obvious how hard heâs fighting to not stare at every inch of your exposed skin. âThatâs crazy.â
âWhy? Because Iâm a girl?â You scoff, making your step-brother shake his head.Â
âOne of my favorite bands too, maybe my all time favorite.â He informs, coughing to clear his throat and stand, moving to a crate full of records. âWhatâs your favorite release?â
âProbably Diamond Eyes, I wonât lie. This Place Is Death is like the best song ever.âÂ
Heeseung can feel his ears burn, swallowing as he turns to show you an original copy of the first release of said album. âYou have good taste too, I really like Beauty School.âÂ
âGreat choice.â
Heeseung nods timidly, moving to the record player to play your favorite track. âThereâs something really out-of-body about this song.â
âRight? Itâs like floating, weightless. The vocals and music harmonize together so good, it's like Iâm in a dream.â
Heeseung does his best to ignore the suggestive lyrics for now, returning to his seat. âHave you seen them live? I went to their last tour, great setlist.â
Pouting, you shake your head ânoâ, gripping the connected top of your towel to adjust the tightness over your chest. âI wish, my moms kind of.. strict, I guess. Iâve stopped asking her about concerts after hearing no a handful of times. Donât need another lecture about how this type of music is for the low lives of society, bottom feeders, boot licââ
âOh woah woah.â Heeseung interrupts with an uncomfortable chuckle, trying not to take any of it personally. Your mom does seem like a hard ass..Â
âSorry.â
âNo no, Iâm sorry, that suckâs seriously.â
Shrugging, you give him a playful frown. âNothing you could do about it. All she cares about is my looks and grades, and my role in society.â Even if itâs just to end up becoming some wealthy man's stay-at-home housewife to be cheated on someday. Not that you need to bring up that part.
Heeseung pinches his bottom lip in thought, nodding along to what youâre saying, choosing to shove aside the sound of his brother's grunts and heavy panting at the mention of your grades. âTheyâre playing next week actually, maybeâŚâ
âOh really? Are you going?âÂ
He hums, going on about how many concerts heâs been to this year alone. âIf thereâs a tour in town, Iâll be there.â
âAh, Iâm jealous.â Digging your toes to the floor, you sit up straight and clutch your towel with a mortified expression. âOh my God, Iâve been sitting here this whole time like this?!?â Rushing to stand, you skitter quickly for the door, turning to bow apologetically. âMy heads all foggy, I wasnât even thinking.â
Heeseung laughs softly, muttering off a âno no no it's all goodâ.Â
âMy doors usually open,â he shrugs, jokingly mentioning to knock at least so he doesnât end up wailing out a loud high-pitched scream that heâll never be able to live down. âWhenever you wanna hang out and listen to music or whatever.â
âIâll make you regret that.â You grin, waving before making your way out.
Heeseung lets out a long sigh, mostly from releasing the tension in his back after trying(and failing) to fight off his perverse thoughts.
Sheâs fucking Sunghoon anyway, he reminds himself. Of course she is. Everyoneâs favorite Park brother, even their parents.
Heeseung shoves that aside in the meantime, laying back on his bed to enjoy the faint traces of your body wash left behind.
Heeseungâs been on edge ever since overhearing his brother on the phone, almost forgetting himself of the youngerâs relationship. He sits stiffly against his headboard, gnawing at his lip to quell away his nerves. Theyâd be back soon from picking her up, and luckily luring you to his bedroom had become easier the more you realized how many bands you both listen to.
âSo, what are you doing later?â
Even from the side of your face he can tell your eyebrows furrow, confused that heâd even ask. âMom didnât tell you about the dinner?â
Bile rises in his throat at the casual way you say mom, swallowing down the need to correct you. Shaking it off, he repeats to himself to focus before time runs out.
âI had plans to meet up with a few friends tonight, we scored some last minute tickets to the Deftones concert a few towns over. Might go explore this new record store beforehand, youâre welcome to come.â Heeseung scratches his nape apprehensively, focused on you thumbing through the crates of vinyls lined up along his bedroom wall. âMy friend Jake, he uh.. he canât make it tonight, change of plans. I offered to buy his ticket off of him if you wannaâŚâ
âA concert tonight?â You frown, ending your search when one of the album covers catches your eye, gently drawing it out and delicately freeing the record. âThis is one of my favorites by them, you have good tasteâ
Heeseung silently agrees, lifting the record player's needle for you to set it in place. âYeah, we can go out to Rickâs Rockinâ Records too, I havenât been since they moved to a new location out there. Maybe grab something to eat, or.. whatever you want to do. I already asked dad if I can borrow the car tonight.â
âHmm,â music thrums from his speaker set-up, the volume low blending in well with the darker atmosphere heâs built in his bedroom. âCanât do that today, mom said tonightâs really important. Something about meeting Sunghoonâs friend, I donât know she wasnât super specific.â
Heeseung sighs, chewing on his nail as he sits down on his bed and watches your hips sway slowly to the beat of the music. âAbout thatââ
âI should probably get ready actually,â you groan, turning to look at him with an annoyed sneer. âIf not Iâll never hear the end of it over dinner. Surprised your dadâs letting you go out?â
âWell..â Heeseung stands in an attempt to distract you and try to keep you in his room longer if possible. Not that it would help to keep you away from heading downstairs at some point..Â
âWhat if I talk to your mom? You said you never get to see them when they tour.â Heeseung says in a rushed panicked tone. âI donât want this free ticket to go to waste.â
âYou would do that for me?â You squint back at him confused, from barely having more than a few run-ins and conversations over music in the last few weeks; his eagerness seems misplaced, unusual even.
âI mean,â Heeseung can feel his mouth drying up, patting his palms down his sides to calm his nerves. âItâs not a big deal.â
The telltale sound of a car engine shutting off outside of his window steals both of your attention, cursing under your breath as you peer through his blinds. âI have to get ready.â
âWait wait!â Heeseung blocks the door before you can manage to leave, awkwardly stretching his arms out. âThe other day, with my brother..â
âOh.âÂ
âItâs not like that.â His hand waves, reaching to massage his temples. âThereâs something about him that I think you should know.â
âNo no, itâs okay. Iâm not into him like that.â You lie, avoiding his gaze. âMy momâs making him tutor me, thatâs why I was in his room. I mean like, when you saw me.â
Heeseung nods, mouth opening and shutting repeatedly. âDo you like him?â
âWhat? No.â You answer too fast, huffing out a laugh while peering around him for an escape. âWhy would I like him? Heâs..â
âEveryone likes Sunghoon.â He says factually, expression drooping as he nods and steps aside.Â
Yeah. Everyone. Including you.
The shout of your name breaks your thoughts, saved by the bell as your mothers tone rings out akin to an alarm. Lifting up onto the balls of your feet you apologize and scamper away to rush out of Heeseungâs bedroom.Â
âYou better be ready!â She follows, making you work urgently to race through your closet for an outfit she would choose for you. Something to make you seemingly presentable enough in the presence of whomever your mother considers âimportantâ.
What if itâs one of Sunghoonâs attractive friends? Heâs good looking, good looking people tend to know each other, right? He seems to prefer when you show more skin.. but a deadly glare from your mom may not be worth it only for a few fleeting glances of interest.
A knee length high-neck dress canât make her mad, youâre positive she purchased this for you at some point anyway.
Another shout of your name has you jogging toward the stairs while hopping into a pair of flats and attempting to zip up the back of your dress all at once, the extra hobble down the last few steps drawing a round of attention your way right as you land with a deep breath and smooth out the wrinkles down your front.
âThere you are.â Your mother glowers, eyeing you disapprovingly and reaching to tug on one of your earlobes. âNot even a pair of earrings? Could you be more of a slob, darling?â She whispers, wrapping an arm around your back and leading you into the living room.Â
Sunghoon stands near his father, back facing the both of you as he nods and laughs at something obscured by their combined size.Â
âOur guest just landed an hour ago and still had the decency to at least wear a pair of high heels. Whatâs your excuse?â
High heels?
âAh, there you are.â Your step-dad turns, unveiling a petite blonde, still small in stature despite the 5 inch pair of stiletto Chanel pumps pinching her toes. Perfectly feminine and radiant where she stands close to Sunghoonâs side. âThis is Miyeon, Sunghoonâs girlfriend.â
Heeseung leans near one of the entrances, gaze bouncing back and forth from his brother, to you, to Miyeon. The air is heavy enough to shatter through glass, freezing you in place with wide eyes. âGirlfriend?â
Sunghoon clears his throat, avoiding your questioning glare as he reaches to pull Miyeon in and places a kiss on top of her head.Â
âYes, theyâve been together since middle school, can you believe that?âÂ
âNo. I canât.â You say stoically, going fully ignored by your step-brother.Â
âMiyeon attends school in New York, but sheâs back home for the week.â Your step-father informs, smiling lovingly at his son and his presumed future daughter-in-law.Â
âMiddle school.â You repeat under your breath, eyes darting around for something to distract you. Heeseung comes near, not missing your surprise.Â
âHey, Iâm heading out soon if youââ
âYes!â You pipe up abruptly, reaching for his arm, aggressively nodding. âRight, the concert!â
âWhat concert?â Your mother asks, tongue clicking annoyed. âWhat have I told you about concertsâ
âI invited her.â Heeseung states confidently, excusing himself to stand in front of you. âIf thatâs okay with you, dad? Theyâre her favorite band and she never gets to see them. I had an extra ticket so I offered..â
âThatâs awfully nice of you Hee.â Sunghoon says with a sleek gaze, hugging Miyeon tighter into his side. âWhat about Jake?â
âHeâs feeling sick.â Heeseung snaps back at his younger brother, returning to his father who looks contemplative.Â
âThat is nice of you.â He reiterates, humming and reaching for his wallet. âGet something to eat too, since youâre not staying for dinner.â
Your motherâs eyes widen at that, biting down hard on her teeth to force a smile. âAh, I cooked enough for all of us.â
âIt will be good for the kids to spend time together.â He shrugs. âLeftovers never hurt anyone darling. Here Hee, donât stay out too late or your mom wonât be able to sleep.â
He hands over a rolled up wad of cash, reaching for the keys in his pocket. âTake my car, Hoonâs going to need his to drive Miyeon home later.â
âI thought I was staying over?â You hear her whisper to your step-brother, the scowl between his eyebrows unwavering as he glares back and forth from his brother to you.
âSince when have the two of you been close?â He asks, ignoring Miyeonâs question.
Heeseung shrugs, wringing the keys around his fingers. âLearn something new everyday, donât we?â He subtly peers from his brother to the girl by his side, fast enough to go unnoticed to anyone other than Sunghoon.
âI think itâs nice.â Your step-father speaks up. âIâm happy to see you kids getting along like real siblings.â
Heeseung forces a smile, unable to explain to himself why that comment even bothers him. âWeâll be safe.â He says to your mother, nodding for you to follow him.
âUhm,â matching his pace you smooth down the dress you wore specifically with your motherâs judgemental glare in mind, not bothering to even say goodbye to Sunghoon nor his girlfriend. âShould I change?âÂ
Heeseung shrugs, scanning your figure swiftly and scratching the side of his neck. âIf you want to feel more comfortable? Itâs a general admission show so..â
âGive me a minute, yeah?â He nods, adding that heâll get the car started as you jog up the stairs and burst through your closet, ripping off the stuffy drab outfit from your skin. âWhat should I even wear to a concert?â
âWhat the fuck is this about?â Sunghoon surprises you, jumping up with a gasp and tugging a sweater in front of your chest. âWhy is Heeseung taking you out?â
âWhy didnât you tell me you have a girlfriend?â You snap back, hissing under your breath after hearing the faint sound of conversation bustling downstairs, Miyeonâs charming laughter sprinkled between. âI wouldnât have..â
âWouldnât have what?â He steps forward, crowding into your space inside of your closet. âSuck my dick the way she never would?â
He smirks, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck and lifting his other to show off a silver band snuggly fitted on his ring finger. âWeâre promised to each other.â
Sunghoon whispers, grazing your upper lip. âThat means waiting until marriage.â
âYou cheated!â You hiss, shoving his stomach. âYou made me cheat with you!â
âI didnât make you do anything you didnât want to do.â He says in a mean-spirited tone, flicking your chin. âBesides, you think Iâd ever treat my future wife like some slut?â
âFuck you.â
âSoon.â He nods, inching in to lay a soft kiss on your Cupidâs bow. âAnyway, thatâs not why Iâm here. Whatever this thing is you have going on with my brother, cut it out.â
âThereâs nothing going on between us.â You shove, digging your palms against his stomach. âHeâs nice, unlike you.â
âYeah. Heâs a real good liar.â Sunghoon grits, easing off you. âI have to get back to dinner, disappointed you wonât be joining us.âÂ
âSure you are.â He reaches for your neck again, large palm engulfing most of it.Â
âReally wanted to see you try to cover up your guilt.â His tongue clicks, tilting his head to the side to smile. âThe look on your face when my dad introduced you,â he sucks in a breath between his teeth, dimpled cheeks sinking in. âIt was priceless.â
âGet away from me.â You try to push again, digging your nails into his waist.Â
âYou thought..â he strokes down your cheek, forehead resting against yours. âThat I like you, right? Already dreaming of your step-brother turning into your boyfriend?â He hums, pinching your cheek. âCute.â
âSunghoon! Whatâs taking so long!â Your mother calls from downstairs, halting your next snide remark.Â
âOne second!â Rolling his eyes, he turns back to you, thumb smoothing under your eye. âTake what I say seriously.â He sighs, pecking your chin and bottom lip. âDonât piss me off.â With a fake smile and lit up eyes he lays one more kiss atop your mouth, pulling away enough for his words to trace across your lips. âBecause Iâll find out, and whatever you think youâll get away with hereâ you wonât.âÂ
Straightening out, he winks, patting your cheek and laughing when you look away with a clenched jaw. âAsshole.â You mutter, quickly pulling out an oversized old t-shirt and shorts to throw on. Having made Heeseung wait long enough, and now even more annoyed than before you forgo the idea of picking out something cute.
Itâs just your step-brother anyway, heâs seen you look worse.
Running out of the house before your parents can try bother you with a lecture doâs and don'ts you apologize, hopping into the passenger seat short of breath.
âSorry sorry, my mom,â you wave, giving your mind a second to conjure up a lie. âYou know, doing her mom thing.â
Heeseung smiles, nodding to your seatbelt and backing out of the driveway. âDonât think weâll have time to grab a bite before the opener, if thatâs okay with you?â
Ignoring the rumble in your stomach, you nod and shoot him a thumbs up. âItâs fine, seriously thank you for getting me out of there.â
Taking in a deep breath you start to settle, watching the road and listening to the soft tune of what you recognize as Deftones latest release, stealing a glance at Heeseungâs phone to confirm. âCan I ask you something?â
âWhatâs up?â His lips pout, drumming along to the beat as you enter a freeway.
âWhen you invited me to come with you tonight..â Heeseung clears his throat, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
âDid you know?â Chewing your lip nervously, you sit up straight to watch his side and the blush rise from his neck to the middle of his face. âAbout.. her?â
âIâve known about Miyeon for years.â He says, focused on the road. âI knew she was in town too.â
âDid Sunghoon ask you to keep me distracted?â
He blinks surprised, eyes going wide. âSunghoon doesnât speak to me unless he has no other choice.â He says flatly, gripping at the steering wheel tightly, losing interest in the change of song. âI invited you because..â
âYou saw what happened the other day?â You ask, turning away remembering the awkward silence you shared with your step-brother after your tutoring session.
âWell no.â He trails off for a moment, letting out a long winded sigh. âI know how my brother is. Wasnât hard to put two and two together..â
âAre you going to tell our parents?â
Heeseung shakes his head out of the corner of your eye, seemingly flabbergasted youâd even ask that. âIâd never do that. I really mostly invited you hoping to.. yeah, completely avoid this from happening.â He laughs nervously. âIâm not too good at this, whatever this is.â
âNo no itâs okay.â You try to emphasize itâs not a big deal, even if the invisible weight crushing your chest says otherwise. âI really appreciate that you thought of doing this for me. Iâm excited! This is way better than sitting around eating my momâs terrible cooking and listening to your dad rant about how amazing Sunghoon is for the hundredth time.â
Heeseung grins, loosening back up, fingers returning to tap along with the music. âHe does tend to do that.â
As much as you canât fight off your thoughts from racing back to Sunghoon, you keep up conversation with your step-brother, both doing your best to avoid bringing him up again. Heeseung made the effort to get you away from a possibly ugly situation, the least you can do is at least try to have fun. Sunghoon will have to be dealt with later.
âLines not too bad.â Heeseung parks, directing his chin to the front of the venue. âWe can probably get barricade.â
âCool.â You shrug, not wanting to give off how clueless you are about concert culture as you make your way to the line of fans noticing many seem paired off, couples mostly.
Standing by your step-brother lamely attempting to come up with a topic to talk about, you bump into his side to relieve some tension. âIâm seriously so excited.â
Heeseungâs eyes meet yours, soft and large as he takes in your face up close and nods. He contemplates a reply, sorting from âIâm happy to hear that.â and âthatâs good, Iâm glad.â Before looking away and muttering.
âShould be a lot of fun.â
When Heeseung had mentioned getting a spot on the barricade you hadnât realized he meant being front row, as you passed the ticket check and made your way inside he pointed out an empty spot the two of you could squeeze into, albeit a bit tight you managed to get in together and celebrate. âI canât believe weâre in front!â You squeal, hopping up and down slightly.
âWe really lucked out.â He glances around, wishing heâd at least had enough time to hit up the bar for drinks before the opener. Usually Jake could handle holding down a spot for them but given your naivety he opts to stay by your side. âI know you havenât been to any concerts before but just a heads up, the crowd can get a little rough.â
âOh, a lot of pushing?â
âYeah.â Heeseung notices youâre surrounded by mostly larger men, a few girls sprinkled around here and there. At least the audience had a good mixture of both in comparison to the usual show. âIf youâre uncomfortable at any point, let me know okay?â
âAh, I donât want you to worry about me.â You say, anxiously fixing your hair, only now realizing just how crammed in and close you are to everyone. The warmth building against your back grows suffocating as minutes go by. âIâll be fine Hee.âÂ
Heeseungâs cheeks warm up, blaming it on the crowd filling out and getting heavier around him; not the shortened nickname that youâve never used with him before. The opener finishes setting up, riling everyone up with their introduction and fast paced music. True to your step-brotherâs warning, the pushing shocks you initially, throttled forward to be stuck against the top of the barricade railing. You smile through the sting of pain hitting the top of your ribcage, mentally noting to check for bruises later.
âDefinitely need to check them out after that.â Heeseung swipes his phone open, tapping to follow the band. Showing no signs of discomfort he turns to you, smile falling. âYou good?â
âYeah yeah, uhm Deftones go on next?â
He shakes his head, full on frowning and snaking his arm around your shoulder. âHey, itâs okay if you donât feel good up here, we can move to the back.â
âNo!â Draping your hands flat on the barrier, you push up to straighten your spine, cringing at how it aches already. âI want to watch from up here.â
Heeseungâs mouth shifts to one side in thought, eyeing the area around you before bracketing his arms on the barrier. âGet in front of me.â
âWhat? Why?â
âIâll stop the shoving.â
âBut youâll get pushed..â you hesitate, hearing snickers from a group of guys behind you.
âIâll be fine,â Heeseung motions, encouraging you to move in front of him. Easing into the space he created for you, a sense of relief washes over you, taking in short breaths of air without 3 bodies crushed against you.Â
He taps the top of your head with his chin, leaning to the side of your face with a smile. âBetter?â
âYeah, thanks Hee..â you offer an embarrassed smile, already feeling ashamed that your step-brother did all this to end your humiliation in the first place.
Heeseung does his best to ignore the bickering and scoffs around him, especially the group behind whispering about how the two of you should move to the back. âItâs not our problem that your girlfriend canât hang.â
His neck prickles with sweat, ears perked up listening to the rest of their conversation. âPretty prissy girls like that have no business up front anyway. Dude needs to leave his little girlfriend at home next time.â
Biting down on the backs of his teeth he has to stop himself from twisting around to yell that youâre not his girlfriend, saved by the next band that starts up; he relaxes and keeps the crowd away from you; accepting the brunt of the pain himself.
This is something a guy would do for his step-sister too, right? Why assume youâre his girlfriend, you could easily just be a friend..
Everythingâs mostly smooth from there until Deftones attack the stage and guitar riffs blast through the speakers, swaying the crowd unanimously to follow along with the beat. He curses, clenching his fist on the barrier to keep you from following the force of eager bodies.
âHee, are you okay?!â You ask in a panic, placing your hands over his fist. He nods fast, biting on his tongue as your fingers loop between his to hold him closer to you. His slow reaction allows enough space for another body to squeeze its way through the front, plastering his chest to your back with a gasp from the extra lack of space.
âIâm good! Iâm good!â He says, trying to keep his cool with a smile and focus on the show that youâve been waiting for. âItâs your favorite song!â
Heeseung nods ahead, too worried about keeping you safe to even take in that youâre fully crushed under him, the barrier digging into your chest. Trying his best to enjoy the show he shakes his head and sings along with the words he can remember, breath caught when your head lays back on his chest and you smile up at him.
âI love this song!âÂ
This isnât Heeseungâs favorite song, but he remembered that itâs yours, and right as you pull your conjoined hands to lay against your stomach; this song sounds better than ever.Â
âI love it too.â
âThat was soooo much fun!âÂ
The two of you managed to squeeze through the crowd fast, your step-brother mentioning wanting to check out the merch before you head out. âIâm sooo sweaty.â you say, shaking off your shirt.
Heeseung looks over the tour shirts hung up, digging out the money his dad gave him. âWant one? We have enough.â
âOh yeah, that one's really cute!â
âWeâll take two of those.â Heeseung points at the t-shirt, counting enough cash out for both.
âMatching couple tour shirts.â The merch guy says with a laugh. âSo cute how many of you think of concerts as date nights.â
âWhat?â He says with a gulp, peeking from the corner of his eye at your surprised reaction. âWeâre noââ
âThatâll be $50, knocked off $10 for the good looking pair.â He winks, passing you the shirts. âNow make this guy go buy you something to eat honey, and whatever you do after, itâs none of my business.â
âUhh..â
âT-Thanks.â Heeseung stammers, hooking your elbow to drag you out of the crowd toward the exit. The air suddenly a lot tighter and harder to breathe in.
âThat was weird, right?â You ask, following him to the car. âWell,â you pause, eyeing him over. âI guess we donât look alike at all.âÂ
âPeople donât assume the opposite sex can be just friends anymore I guess.â He scoffs, opening the passenger door for you. âHe was right about one thing though, you hungry?â
âStarving.â You reply, tossing your bag onto the seat. âBut first.â
Heeseungâs eyebrows lift, taking a step back as you begin to remove your shirt, mouth hung open confused. âWhat are you doing??â
âTold you, Iâm drenched.â You say, fanning your chest. âIâd take off my bra too..â you shyly smile, shaking open the new shirt your step-brother just paid for. âPretend I didnât say that.â
Tugging on the shirt, you reach around beneath to pull off your bra straps, struggling to unclasp the back. âSorry Hee, can you help?âÂ
He swallows, eyes gone wide and nodding. âUh, yeah sure..â
Heeseung moves behind you, pushing the shirt up to your shoulder blades and biting down on his tongue to not comment on how soft your skin feels. No. Thatâd be weird, right?
âI think the clasp is stuck..â he mumbles, nervously toying with one of the bra clasps that wonât unlatch.
âUgh, fuck.â You sigh, swatting the air behind you. âJust rip it off.â
Heeseung tightens his lip, air pushing out of his nose to not groan. âOkay.â
He pulls the connected material apart, the sound of seams snapping and popping open under his strength following.
âJesus, get a room man.â A drunk concert goer slurs out as he passes by, your bra coming undone finally right as your step-brother curses and presses in close to hide your exposed lower back.Â
âFuck off.â
âYou know what? He has a point.â You laugh, shaking the t-shirt down your torso. âMy step-brother removing my bra for me should probably be done behind closed doors..â
Heeseung can feel his chest rumble from your laughter, shoulders and upper back shaking against him. Instinctively taking a step back before vibration can travel lower as he imagines exactly that.
âPizza sounds good.â He changes the subject fast, moving to get inside and get the engine warmed up. âYou down?â
âPizza sounds great.â
The two of you fall into easy conversation, excitedly discussing your favorite songs and parts of the concert. Easily finding a place open for 24 hours on the way home, albeit the slices of pizza more stiff and cardboard-like at this late hour with only one employee working the night shift.
âI hope it wasnât too hard on you, having to watch out for me.â You say apologetically.Â
âWasnât a big deal, seriously, donât mention it.â
âI felt really bad though.â You lament, helping him by carrying the box of pizza. âYou still got to enjoy the show, right?â
âAre you serious?â Heeseung waves you off, reaching for the passenger door again before you can open it yourself. âBest concert Iâve ever been to.â
âRight?!?â You joke, settling back into your seat with a laugh. âI say as if Iâve ever been to any others, but I have a feeling this will be one of my favorites.â
âIâll take you to more concerts.â Heeseung hums, tapping the steering wheel before taking off. âDo you wanna go home right now? Or like..â
âNah, mom will kill my dopamine high if I have to talk to her right now.â
âYouâre right.â Snapping his fingers, he mentions the time. âThereâs a park not too far from home, itâs empty by now. We can go there to eat and rush home fast if our parents get mad about the hour.â
âSounds good.â
The parks nice and quiet, a few street lamps barely lighting up the small area where you settle at the top of the jungle gym and sit facing the street with your legs dangling from the top level of the structure.
âPizzas not that great.â Heeseung laughs, shrugging, stuffing his mouth regardless.
âItâs perfect for a midnight snack.â
Agreeing, you fall into a comfortable silence, attempting to hide your shiver as a chilly breeze passes through. Itâs too nice to head home now, unwilling to unless your phone starts to buzz with your mother shouting on the other end.
âCold?â Heeseung removes his hoodie before you answer, leaning over to lay it down on your shoulders.
âNow youâll be cold.â
âDonât worry about me.â
He nods, looking away to admire the speckles of stars scattered between smog and clouds. Heeseungâs really nothing like his brother. No, because Sunghoon wouldnât wish to spend time with you in this way, unless it involved his dick in your mouth or wherever..
âHee, can I ask you something?â
Turning to face you, his lips tremble a bit from the rising crisp night air, raising goosebumps along his arms. âWhatâs up?â
âThis is probably..â you hesitate, pulling his hoodie in tighter to your chest. âI mean, you donât have to answer if you donât want to..â The skin between his eyebrows folds together, head bobbing up and down for you to continue.
âItâs just, Sunghoon..â
Heeseung sighs, leaning back on his palms and dropping his head back. âI donât know what he thinks about you, he doesnât talk to me.â He says calmly before you can finish, laying back down flat with his eyes shut. âSorry, canât help.â
âItâs not thatâwell I mean..â you lower, laying on your side to watch his eyelashes twitch against the tops of his cheeks. âYou guys really donât talk and I guess Iâm nosey..â
âOh.â Heeseung blinks, eyes going wide at the realization of how close you are. âYou mean like why we donât talk?â
âYeah.â
He shrugs, nibbling his bottom lip from side to side nervously. âWe used to be really close, inseparable until our parents got divorced.â His eyebrows furrow, smoothing his palms together onto his stomach. âHoon lived with our mom for a few years, he was always her favorite.â
Regret begins to seep through your chest, feeling like an asshole for even asking now. Of course their rift had to be more personal than some petty feud between brothers..
âWe were still somewhat close during that time, but much like now, dad favored Hoonie too. Heâs the baby, you know how it is. He needed more attention and coddling I guess.â Heeseung shrugs again, mostly to keep the topic light. âWhen we were kids he really looked up to me.. at least I always thought so.â
His breath deepens, releasing longer exhales and shutting his eyes again. âMom got sick, really sick..â
âIâm sorry Heeseung, you donât have to tell me..âÂ
âItâs okay.â Tucking in his upper lip, his eyes squeeze tightly, taking deep breaths before continuing. âI kind of dealt with her illness.. maybe improperly? I donât know, I was a kid..â
âIâm sorry..â
âHoonie..â his eyes stay shut, squeezing together at the mention of his brother. âWhen she passed away, I think he really needed me. I couldnât be there for him.â
Silence thickens between the two of you, laying back down fully by his side in hopes of offering some type of comfort, a silent one of upper arms flushed together.
âI sort of lashed out..â Heeseung goes on, voice more strangled. âI blocked him out when he needed me the most and when the time came that I needed him,â he shrugs softly, huffing. âHe wasnât there for me anymore. I canât blame him.â
Anything you can think of to say evades your mind, coming up blank with words that would be enough to show your sympathy. Without much thought other than how nice your step-brothers been, you reach for his hand and loop your fingers between his; bringing them down between your sides with a squeeze.
âHe looked up to me when we were younger.â Heeseung at least sounds less tense, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes relaxing. âIt didnât really help that he was getting bullied at school too back then. He was a runt, small thing.â Thereâs an evident smile in his tone now, small enough to barely lift the corner of his mouth.
âI should have stepped in and defended him but..â he grips your hand tightly, thumb brushing back and forth. âDonât think I regret anything more than those years.â
âItâs not your fault.â
âIn some ways.â Heeseung clears his throat, lips pouting. âThe least I could have done was take care of him, heâs my baby brother after all..â
âNothing could have prepared any of you for what happened. Someday heâll understand that..â
Heeseung wishes he could agree, but while his mourning period led to sadness and a crushed sense of hope, his brothers landed him in darkness. A cold bitter darkness, gradually day by day stripping away the last specks of light that once made up all of Sunghoon.Â
âYeah.â He lets out a tired sigh, head shaking and forcing a smile. âIâm sure someday weâll live our own lives and heâll see me as his trustworthy older brother again.â
âThank you for sharing that with me.âÂ
âHavenât talked about this in such a long time honestly.â He smiles, lifting your hands to rest on his stomach again. âDad would be shocked by how much weâre getting along right now.â
âItâs weird, right?â You laugh meekly, eyes drifting to your conjoined hands. âThat youâre likeâŚâ drifting off, your nose crinkles; recalling your friends joking about which of your step-brothers youâd be hooking up with first. âMy brother.â
Heeseungâs eyes open up, stomach folding in from shooting up, letting out a hollered laugh. âOh that was really weird, especially after having to hear that youâre my girlfriend from random strangers for the past 3 hours.â
He sits back up, easing his hold out of yours to smooth a palm down his nape out of nervous habit.Â
âI can understand them.â You sit up with him, grabbing onto one of the steel bars to lean in closer to him. âWe donât make a bad looking couple.â
Heeseungâs thankful for the lack of lighting as heat rushes up his neck and burns its way under his eyes, cheeks more than likely bright pink full of blood. âAhâwell, good thing Iâm not your type.â
âWhat?â
âYou like Sunghoon.â He says nonchalantly. âEveryone likes him, heâs my brother so likeâno I donât get it.â He chuckles awkwardly. âI see the way everyone fawns over him though, pretty used to it by now.â
âI donât like Sunghoon.â You grumble. Thatâs a lie, possibly, or maybe a conversation youâre not ready to have with yourself, let alone your step-brother. âAnd honestly, youâre way more my type than him.â
âRight.â
âIâm serious!â You shriek, reaching for his bicep. âOh my god, youâre freezing!â
âItâs not that bad, feels good after being stuck together in that pit.â
âCome here,â scooting closer to him, you pull him into your chest, arm wrapping around his back to draw him into your warmth. âCanât have you getting sick on me, we have concerts to go to now.â
Heeseung blinks furiously, tucking his chin in to ignore the rapid pace his heart gains, beating against his chest fiercely enough to fear that even you can feel it. âYouâre right.â He keeps it short, lips trembling more due to his nerves than the temperature.
âThis feels nice.âÂ
He nods, shifting slightly to rest his arm around your lower back and make the position youâve ended up in more comfortable. âWe should probably head home though, before your mom realizes youâre not safely tucked in bed.â
âI donât know Hee.â You murmur, digging your nose into his now dried head of hair, a tangy scent of sweat and shampoo left behind. âI donât want this night to end.â Or to have to see your brother again, let alone deal with whatever that was all about earlier..
Heeseung shivers against your chest, more from his excitement, but accepts the coo you let out and soothing rub down his spine. âOkay okay, donât want you to catch hypothermia. Youâre right, itâs getting late.â
âSorry,â maintaining eye contact with his lap, he removes himself from your hold, taking deep breaths to ward off his thoughts.Â
Sheâs your sister. Sheâs your sister. Sheâs your sister.
Step-sister.
âBefore we go, I really do want to say thanks for everything.â You say, completely unaware of the mental war your step-brothers battling with. âFrom getting me out of the house, the concert, this cute shirt.â You lean back, pulling at the hem, only pronouncing your breast more through the material; not allowing him much of a choice but to look and notice how hard and obviously perked your nipples poke through. Right.. your bras currently residing in the backseat of the car..
âThe pizza, bringing me here.â You list out everything, sporting a giant smile. âI seriously havenât felt this happy in awhile. I kind of.. really needed this before losing my mind.â
Heeseung returns the smile, sharing your sentiment silently. âIâll do my best from now on to make this a part of our routine.â
âItâs really a shame.â
âHmm? What is?â
âThat our parents ended up together.â You mumble, scanning his face anxiously. âYouâre better thanâI donât know.. kind of lame to admit but I tried to picture different scenarios in which weâd somehow get to know each other.â You struggle to say, sucking air between your teeth. âAh, I guess I kind of had a crush on you? Not really? But kindââ
Heeseungâs thighs bounce against the jungle gym, resisting the urge to lunge at you and smother you in kisses. The need grows harder and harder the more you go on and demurely shift around to avoid his gaze. Itâs the whiny pout you fall into while saying you may or may not have had a crush on your step-brother that sets him off; pushing his upper half toward you and dropping the weight of his mouth upon yours with heated urgency.
Itâs harder and sloppier than he intends for, swatting away every thought and emotion that could fully develop since the day you stepped inside of his bedroom with a curious glint in your eye. Beyond physical attraction, Heeseung canât stop the annoying itch in his chest, the one warming him up from inside out everytime youâve looked at him tonight. His nose crushes into the side of yours, the seam of his lips engulfing more of your top lip than managing to act out an actual kiss.
Drawing away with flushed cheeks, he licks his lips and begins spewing out an apology, shaking his head embarrassed. âFuck, Iâm sorry, Iâm so fucking sorry, Iâmââ
The back of his head bounces against the metal walls behind him, hissing against your lips shoving into his. Mouth more commanding than his as you scramble to invade his space and drop your bottom onto his lap.Â
âSorrââ
âShh, kiss me back, kiss me.â Between rushed bated breath and a messy lock of lips, you rock further into him, reaching for the holes scattered around the jungle gym walls to bury your fingers in and cage his head between your arms.
Heeseungâs hands flail for a minute, slapping down on your hips to grab onto something with a groan as your tongue probes between the line of his lips for access. The wet slip of your tongue glides through easily, making him gasp inside of your mouth as you wiggle a way through to taste the spit gathered at the sides of his tongue.
âWoah,â he draws back, lips already swollen from the short kiss. âWhatâwe canât!â
âWhy?â Your eyebrows lift, concerned but dropping your bottom onto his lap hungry for more. âYou donât feel it??â
âWhat?!â Heeseung sits up, belting your waist to keep you in place, regrettably as you swivel in place right against his groin. âWhat do you mean?â
âDonât you like me?â You say pathetically, nearly ready to give up the more humiliating this becomes.
âOf course I do!â He laments, massaging up your sides. âI think I like you way more than Iâm supposed to.â
âHee, youâre not my brother.â You state, tucking his cold hands inside of your shirt to warm up against your stomach. âThereâs nothing wrong about us kissing.â
Heeseung swallows, telling himself- well thatâs simply not true. Other than that fact alone that you are⌠sleeping with his younger brother.Â
âItâs late.â Heeseung sighs, pretending to yawn. âLet me take you home and we can talk about this after a good night's rest.â
âYou canât be serious.â Half offended and with a last stitch of effort you grab onto his hands, pushing them up your stomach, brushing along the underside of your breasts. âI know you feel it.â
Heeseung gulps, head dropping back against the jungle gym with a groan. âYeah I.. I feel that..â
âItâs okay Hee, I want you.â Leaning in, you capture his mouth once more, sucking in his bottom lip as your hands encourage him to squeeze your chest.Â
As hesitant as he feels, Heeseung canât stop himself from squeezing your breasts, eyes fluttering shut as his length throbs inside of his boxers. âI want you too, you have no idea how bad I want this..â
âLet me see,â you say between kisses, rubbing your tongue against the roof of his mouth. âShow me, do anything you want with me.â
Heeseungâs stomach sinks, unable to stop his mind from drifting to the rough sounds he heard coming from his brotherâs bedroom. What if youâre expecting him to be like Sunghoon..
âPlease, let me take you home at least. I promise..â he breathes between your lips, softly layering kisses. âIâll show you.â
âUgh, fine.â Reluctantly you agree, it is cold out here after all and anyone could walk by, not that youâd mind the idea of getting caught..
Heeseung struggles to tear away from your mouth on the way back to the car, spending another extra 5 minutes with you pressed up to the door and his hands roaming freely under your shirt again. âIf you donât drive me home right now I am going to take off my clothes right here.â
âOkay okay.â He chuckles, running around after getting you inside and clicking your seatbelt. Heeseung mentally pats himself on the back for choosing a park not far from home, especially when you pull his right arm away from the steering wheel to guide him between your thighs.
âIâm so wet for you Hee.â
Practically crashing as he turns into your neighborhood, he coughs, squeezing your inner thigh and speedily parking to get out as fast as he can. âMy room.â
Heeseung wraps your arms around his waist, a soft smile spreading across his lips as you both struggle to get up the stairs with your limbs locked around each other. âYour room because you wanna play DJ?â
He blushes, turning the doorknob behind his back and draw you into his bedroom.Â
âThat obvious?â
âYouâre really cute.â You confess, bunching the sides of his shirt up in your fists to keep your bodies close. âLike really really cute.â
Heeseungâs cheeks could alert the fire department, burning up his face hot enough to make his eyes water up. âAh, you think Iâm lame.â
âI think youâre..â the two of you shuffle toward his bed, slowly lifting his top up to his waist. âSexy..âÂ
He pulls it off the rest of the way for you, tossing the shirt aside, feeling shy even in the dim lighting entering from the window; breath caught in his throat as you duck to lick his chest, lips trapping one of his nipples with a gentle suck. Fingernails trail down his abdomen, grabbing onto the waistband of his jeans.
âNo no..â taking a hold of your hands as you start to unzip him, he stammers taking in your mouth falling to a frown. âNo! I mean, feels really good, but..â
Heeseung squeezes your hips, lifting you off your feet for less than a second to set you down on his bed. âLet me show you.â
Running a hand through his hair, he blushes furiously, positive you can feel the heat radiating off his face. He makes fast to the record player, dropping the needle in place to start the album heâd been listening to earlier, your favorite one.
Bending over your body, he bites down on his lips, softly pushing your shirt up your torso as the gentle hum of music reverberates around you.
Donât wanna take it slow, I wanna take you home and watch the world explode from underneath your glow
Heeseung leaves your shirt just beneath your breasts, hovering over you to kiss along the top of your ribcage, following a path downward to your navel until his mouth meets the button of your shorts. The slow rise and fall of your chest calms his worry, unbuttoning you and easing your bottoms down to your ankles for you to kick away. He shifts down to his knees, prying your thighs open gently, allowing him a perfect view of your drenched through panties completely molded to your core.
âYouâre sexy.â Perfect even, Heeseungs says to himself, planting kisses up the sensitive skin lining your inner thigh. âCute, pretty, hot.â Kissing his way up, he takes extra time to suck on the tender skin where your thigh meets your center. âSo so so sexy..â
A low whine sounds above him, your back arching upward the more he teases, tracing the dip between your center and shoving the material of your underwear into your entrance. âHee!âÂ
âShhhâŚâ he licks the dip, tongue stiffening to push your underwear between your slit, tracing up to your clit to suck on through the soaked ruined fabric. Heeseung canât take it anymore, innate hunger winning against his willpower as he holds your thighs open, planting them to spread out on his bed and drag his nose between the seam taking in a deep inhale. Slurping up the mess of wetness that seeps through the material of your underwear, most of it hitting his chin, trickling down onto the bed.
The groan vibrating against your core has your hips lifting, seeking a way to close your legs out of embarrassment that he could be smelling everything. âHee, thatsââ
Greedily sucking the rest of the wetness thatâs smeared along the insides of your thighs, he has to shove aside how hard and painful his cock throbs. That can come later, figuratively and literally.
Playing with the trim lining the waistband of your underwear, he rubs the fabric between his fingers before rolling it down past your knees with practiced finesse; quickly clutching your thighs in a firm grip before you can manage to shut them, he pushes them down as wide as theyâll spread, fully exposing your core.Â
Heeseungâs breath catches, nearly groaning at the up close visual of your swollen aroused cunt, dripping a lewd amount out all the way down to his bedding. âSo pretty.â He blows, sending a tremor up your thighs. âJust as pretty down here as you are everywhere else.â
Leaning in before you can let out another shattered cry, he licks a thick stripe from your entrance up to your clit. Humming in the back of his throat as your arousal pours down to the back of his tongue. Velvety engorged folds spread out against the pressure of his wide tongue working back and forth to touch each crevice between your legs.
Heeseung can hear your breath quicken and grow louder, plunging into your pulsating wet hole with his nose rubbing against your clit. He groans, dizzy, drunk and brainless as he rubs his face back and forth. Lapping past the resistance of your muscle, he licks and sucks, collecting the wetness pouring from your dripping pussy to swallow down like water. The fingers reaching into his hair pull him to bury in deep, jaw stretching until he hears a crack. He grunts from the pulls on his scalp, slipping free from your cunt to lick up the sides, between your folds, outside and in until his tongue has tasted every inch.Â
âOh my God Hee!â Your feet kick, just barely under his unrelenting hold to keep you spread open. Dragging his tongue up and down repeatedly until a mess of slick covers him from chin to forehead. âSâtooâtoo much, ahââ
His lips press to your clit, sucking the fat nub between his lips with extra force that has you biting down on your hand to not scream. âYouâreâno, IâllâIâll cum!â Whining, you grow more impatient, unable to stop your hips from twitching up even under his large palms pressing you down. Heeseung could care less,Â
lost in the scent and heat of your cunt, he sucks and licks your clit mercilessly, flicking the bud roughly with the tip of his tongue.
âOh!â Your face squeezes tight, head pushing off from the bed, arching against his mouth giving you no rest. âIâm cummingâIâm cumming!â You chant, mouth hanging open without breathing as an intense orgasm rips through your body, choking on your breath and finally writhing free from Heeseungâs hold when he doesnât stop; lapping at your freshly spilled entrance like a thirsty dog.
âE-enough.â You tremble, shutting your thighs and turning onto your side, shirt drifting up under your neck and armpits leaving you mostly bare.
Heeseung sits up on the bed, kissing up the side of your thigh to your hip. âWouldnât have stopped, you taste so good.â
Now itâs your turn to hide, tucking your face into one of his pillows with a whine. âAhh, donât say that.â
âItâs true.â The clink of his zipper lowering follows, turning back around to lay flat and remove your shirt just in time to see Heeseung kick away his pants and boxers, cock standing hard against his stomach; high enough for the head to hit his navel.
Heâs big too.Â
Biting your lip, you sit up to kiss him, making a face at the amount of slick still coating his chin. Heeseung had no plan to clean any of it off.Â
He stares at you wide-eyed and breathless, leaning over you until you lay flat on your back again, brushing hair away from your face. Going in for the kiss first this time, he opens your mouth up with an aggressive push of his tongue; licking inside of your mouth similar to the way he ate you out, messy, greedily drinking the spit that escapes past your lips. More swollen and bitten raw once he settles against your chest and scoops the back of your thighs around his hips.
Leaving your knees bent to cage around him, Heeseung smooths a palm down between your breasts, down past your stomach to grab a hold around his length. He bites down, already covered in your arousal in less than a minute of your lower halves touching. âSo wet.â Mumbling to himself, he delivers a few strokes to his length, spreading your slick down to the tip, not that you need the extra lubrication.
Heeseungâs hand trembles around the base of his cock, a reminder of how nervous he actually is as he drags the tip between your folds, dipping in and out of your entrance just enough to have your head spinning. Pawing at his chest to give you more as he teases and groans at how loud the sound of your wetness radiates; pushed in and out against the kisses meeting his cockhead.
âHee, please, please fuck me.â You say, feeling delirious with each empty deceived clench from your body, chasing after the stretch only his cock can give you.
Finally pushing in past the tip, his chest lays flat against yours, stealing the gasped moan you let out with a fierce kiss. Burying in deeper until he meets obstruction and lets a broken cry inside of your warm wet mouth.Â
âF-fuck me baby,â you moan, sucking his bottom lip in with hard bite. âShow me, show me.â
Heeseungâs forehead wrinkles, biting down and grinding his teeth to not whimper between short staggered breaths. He wonât last if he fucks you the way he really wants to. The way he needs to.
Nodding rapidly, he tries to memorize every squeeze that your soft wet wall's pulse around him. Wet, so insanely wet, pouring down to his balls, forming a mess between even his thighs. Heeseung lifts back with heavy eyes to watch your face fall apart, tongue lolled out with nothing behind your eyes but unruly lust. âFuck me.â
He lets go, rolling his hips forward as hard and deep as you can take him.
âOh fuckkk!â Heeseung gasps as you arch against him, slapping his chest with balled up fists. Itâs better than either of you could have imagined, chasing a fast release off instinct alone while still holding back to make each sensation last longer.
âYouâre so tight,â Heeseung says with a linger of pain in his tone. Taking a hold of your wrists, he pins them to your chest, gently shushing your cries. Slowly dragging his cock out halfway and back in to ease the stretch. âYou okay?â
A choked moan passes through your lips, nodding fast. âS-so big.â
Kissing your chin, Heeseung nods and loosens his hold on your wrist, easing your hands to lay flat by your head. âRelax for me,â taking a deep breath, he pushes in to the hilt, lower back aching the more he holds himself back from fucking you in earnest and pounding you through his bed. âCan you do that for me?â
A faint âyesâ shudders out, losing your breath as he starts to drag his dick out, hissing with each reflexive clench you give him. Heeseung tries, he really tries to hold back, pushing through your heated resistance slowly, but with each glide back in a mess of slick wetness drips out past the intrusion of his size. The smear of wetness leaking down to his thighs in fat wads now, coating the back of your ass and thighs, making each collision of your meeting skin more debauched.Â
Another squeeze around him has a broken cry ripping from his throat, moistening the backs of his eyes as he finally breaks and snaps forward to bury in balls deep, making you feel every inch. Heeseung rides through your clamped heat, thrusts turning erratic with his digits finding purchase in your wrist; painfully digging his nails into the soft skin hard enough to leave behind marks of crescent moons.
Rapid tightening pressure around his cock draws more effort on his part, planting his knees on the bed to fuck you with more strength behind his hips. Through the wet layer fogging his gaze he finds your eyes, blown wide with your mouth hung open pouring saliva from the corners. His heart jumps fiercely enough to make him fear it could erupt, ears gone numb to all other than the wanton sounds of your whimpers traced between the song playing.
No one else has a hold over me like you do
You open up the covers, you lure me in
Tackle me anxious, back into bed
Well, I hope to discover all of your ways
This place is death, I know you feel the same
He canât stop the embarrassingly desperate noises that drip from his mouth as he fucks you with renewed urgency, pressing down until you are chest to chest to snake his hands under your ass and push your hips against his. The new angle gets him in even deeper somehow, nose scrunched up as a strong wave of heat runs rampant in his stomach, tightening up the heavy weight between his thighs. âC-closeâIâm so so c-close.â
Struggling to keep up his thrusts the more you tighten up, Heeseung shifts, smoothing down the side of your thigh to wrap around the back of your knee and push your thigh up. The mind-numbing pleasured cry you let out has him fucking into you with abandon, desperate to get you off before he can finish.Â
âCome on,â he grits, fingers digging into your leg, calve jostling by your head under the force of his weight pummeling against you. âCâmon baby.â He hits deep, the head of his length kissing your cervix, grinding with a low growling moan.
âP-pleaââ breaking off, your neck bends back, eyes meeting the back of your skull letting a silent cry fly free. Heeseung tries to fuck you through it, beginning to sweat down his face as he grips onto your leg harder and rams forward.Â
âFuckmefuckme,â you babble deliriously between whimpers, tears spilling down your cheeks. âW-want it, cum inside me, f-fuckâwant it, want it!â You moan, half pained by over sensitivity the longer he goes, reaching to run your fingers through his hair in search of something to pull on.
Heeseung grunts, leaning in to lick the droplets of salty tears dangling from your chin, gone senseless beyond the addictive warmth sucked around his cock. âI-Iâmâfuck!â
A handful of sloppy thrusts more has his balls clenching up, so heavy where they slap and land against the crevice of your ass. He curses, burying himself as deep as your body can take to spill inside. Cock thrumming madly with each shot of hot streaks of cum pouring out. âC-cummingâ he gasps, mouth gone dry with spit covering his chin, slumping down onto you with a long sigh.
âHee..â you cough, leg dropping from his weakened hold. âCanât breathe.â
âSorry sorry..â Heeseung bites his lip, pushing his upper half up on numbed arms, slowly drawing his hips back. âUgh..â he has to look away as white creamy release chases after his length, cock throbbing from the sight of your needy hole gaping open and shut. âSorry for that..â
âItâs okay.â
He reaches for your shirt before settling back next to you, eyes heavy with sleep and cheeks bunched up from a lazy smile.
âI should probably go to my room before my mom wakes up.â You say sadly, dragging a finger down his lips. âDonât want to.â
âDonât want you to.â Heeseung kisses, chasing after your finger with an open mouth. âWe can just tell her the truth, that you slept in here.â
âThe whole truth?â
âWell, no..â he says, capturing the tip of your finger to suck around, slowly sliding off with a wet pop. âSheâd probably never let you out of the house again if she found out about..â
âYeah..â you share a look, sighing sadly. âTry not to dream of me too much, lover boy.â
Stepping back into your underwear with a grimace, you throw your shorts into his hamper, winking at him and ordering that he wash them for you before you exit.
Heeseung can feel his cheeks itch with heat again, covering his eyes with a smile. How can he still feel shy after all of that..
âGoodnight.â
âNighty.â You say, cheeks aching from smiling so much.Â
âWell well well.â Sunghoon stands across the hallway as you do your best to quietly tiptoe your way out of Heeseungâs bedroom, jumping up and covering your mouth to not scream at his shadowy figure looming nearby. âWhat do we have here?â
âHoon?â You say after a night of listening to Heeseung use the nickname over and over again. âWhat the hell are you doing out here? Itâs like 3am.â
âI should ask you the same thing. What the hell are you doing sneaking out of my brother's bedroom in the middle of the night, huh?â Sunghoon steps into the small streak of light coming through the hallway window, jaw flexed tight. âI told you that Iâd find out.â
âWhat? By standing out here with your ear pressed against the door like some creep? What the hell is wrong with you?!â
âDonât change the subject.â Sunghoon corners you, pushing your shoulders against the wall. âAnd keep your voice down, youâre lucky our parents room is on the other side of the house with those dying animal squeals you were screaming out.â
âYouâre such a dick.â
âAnyway,â he traces down the side of your face, flinching away from his touch only for his hand to cup around your jaw and keep your eyes on him. âNo more of this, Iâll let it go just this one time because youâre pretty dumb.â
âI donât need to listen to anything you say.â
âOh, but you do, donât you?â He speaks softly, thumb brushing your bottom lip. âAnd you will.â
âWhy? Because youâll run and tell my mommy that you made me suck your dick for some test answers?â You sneer, slapping your palm on his forearm.Â
âIâm giving you a warning.â Sunghoon pecks your upper lip and Cupidâs bow, leaving out any mention of why. Not because he likes you or anything, not Park Sunghoon. âTake it seriously or donât. Either way youâll learn to listen to me.â
Pressing a firm kiss to your lips, he lingers, pecking the top and bottom over and over again. âHate to think you let him defile that pretty mouth, almost repulses me to kiss you right now.â
Sunghoon backs up, raising an eyebrow and grabbing onto your elbows. âLetâs get you washed up before you go to sleep at least, you smell like cum.â
âHoon, stop!â You whisper, panicked as he leads you to his bedroom. âWhere are you taking me!â
Sunghoon kicks his bedroom door open, maneuvering you to his personal bathroom. âYou canât be this stupid.â
âLet me go!âÂ
âShut up.â He snarls, pushing you toward the shower door. âGet in there, and make sure you clean yourself good.â
âWhat the fuck is your problem?!â You whine, forced inside as he barricades the open glass door and leers at you, nodding his chin at your shirt.Â
âTick tock, Iâm waiting.â Sunghoon eyes the shirt hanging on your frame, reaching for the collar to pull on. âIs this Heeseungâs?! Youâre wearing his clothes now???â
âLet go! Youâre stretching it!â
Ignoring you, he pulls more, not even fazed by the slaps you deliver as he reaches for the hem and pulls the material up over your face leaving you no choice but to let him take it off. He lets out a sound of disapproval, reaching for the sides of your underwear. âYou didnât seriously let that asshole bust a nut inside of you.â
âStop!âÂ
Sunghoon growls, pushing himself inside the shower until your back meets the chilled tile wall with a shiver. âYouâre more disgusting than I thought, when did you start fucking him? Before or after our parents got married.â
He doesnât give you time to answer, turning the shower on with the water beating down on your head. âCanât believe he fucked you before me.â He mutters, shoving your now completely soaked underwear down. âYou probably think heâs so fucking nice, donât you?â
Tears well up in your eyes before you can blink them away fast enough, slapping the heel of your palms on his drenched shirt. âYou are the only asshole here.â
âYou fucking like it.â Sunghoon smirks, uncapping a bottle of body wash to squirt on your chest. âClean it all out, itâs bad enough I have to fuck you after he did.â
âWhat?!â He throws a brand new washcloth at you, stepping back to the door dripping water all over the bathroom floor, head snapping with command.Â
âHurry up, my dicks getting hard watching you act so helpless.â He winks, reaching for the shower head to aim between your thighs, focused on the remnants of thick white cum seeping out from between your clenched thighs. âYou let him fuck your ass too?â
Sunghoon asks as you turn away from him to reach between your legs and push out the last bits of Heeseungâs cum, nose scrunched in disgust from his comment. Pinching your buttcheek, he laughs, moving back to discard his wet clothing into a dirty hamper. âI guess you werenât lying about not being a virgin after all, shame.â Licking the backs of his teeth, he scoffs. âMy dicks bigger than his anway.â
âIâm going to my room.â You say, turning off the shower after rinsing the soap off of your skin. âAnd you are going to leave me alone.â
Sunghoon lets out a slow fake laugh, dropping his pajama bottoms when you turn to look at him. The white bathroom background illuminating his porcelain complexion, defined muscles flexing as he reaches for the top of the shower door, showing off his bare naked body. âAm I now?â
âWhy do you even want me?â
He hums, making slow movements to bring down his arms and circle the ring on his finger, leisurely sliding it off and setting the silver band down on the bathroom counter. âWhy do you think?
âYou can have anyone you want.â
âExactly.â Sunghoon tips his chin in, fitting his gaze down your wet chest and stomach. âAnd I want you.â Stepping back into the shower, he moves forward, a smile growing on one side of his face with each step back you take until you hit the wall again, chest rising and falling more rapidly as he looks over your figure. âHard to believe, right?â
Tapping your nose, his index finger drags down from there, tracing the outline of your lips to your chin and the center of your neck. âHeeseung and I have always shared a similar type though.â
The mention of his brother makes you flinch, stomach churning with guilt as his finger lowers and flicks your nipples, breathily laughing the more you twitch under his taunting touch. âOr maybe he just always wants what I have.â
âYou donât have me.â You seeth under your breath, turning away from his steely gaze.Â
âDonât I?â Continuing to trace, he circles your navel, smoothing the pathway lower to the heat between your thighs. âYou want me to stop?â
Lack of response and eye contact pulls another laugh out of him, crawling his digits down past your mound to your upper thighs. âIâll take that as a no.â
Lack of air clears your lungs, finding it impossible to breathe, shutting your eyes to ignore the guilt clawing through your chest from inside out. Sunghoon hums, sliding a knee between your thighs for access to your center. âLook at me.â
With a gulp, you blink, slowly lifting your gaze to find his eyes. Black large pupils stare back at you, ridden with lust and desire, he leans closer, mouth hovering yours. âGood girl.â
The middle of your chest caves, shoulders slumping in as he cups around your core and groans, lips pulled over his teeth. âCanât say no when youâre already this wet.â
Sighing, you accept your fate knowing in the back of your mind that you could have tried harder to stop him, you should have tried harder to stop himâŚ
Sunghoonâs eyes stay locked on yours, tickling lower until the tips of his fingers find your entrance and scoop up the embarrassing amount of slick thatâs already begun to pour out. Itâs only because his brother just fucked you, thatâs what you say to convince yourself.Â
His hand raises between your faces, mouth dropped open letting out a dramatic gasp. âLook at that, so fucking wet itâs dripping down to my wrist, you dirty little..â he breaks off into a grin, shoving the coated fingers to your lips and pushing inside for you to gag around. âTaste it, thatâs all for me. Thatâs your body begging for me.â
Itâs not your fault heâs right.. even as you choke and spit around his digits finding the way to the back of your throat, you canât deny the spike of heat building from your lower belly.Â
Sunghoon swipes his fingers clean of your wet arousal and spit over your chin and cheeks, further adding to how degrading he treats you. The way your heart hammers through your chest makes it hard to convince yourself that you hate it..
He lets out a throaty chuckle, licking the mess off your chin and biting down on your bottom lip. âYou really are something.â A smug smile pulls at his lips, reaching up to move your wet hair behind your ears. âYou even look pretty out of the shower, you know that?â
â..really?â
Sunghoonâs tongue prods between his lips, licking at one side proudly, eyebrows furrowing as what he just said settles. âYeah..â stifling his breath, he backs away with a fake cough, stepping out uncomfortably. âIâm not going to fuck you in the shower though.â
Silence hangs between the two of you for a minute, telling yourself you could still try to leave⌠you could..
He backs up to the door, grabbing onto the sides halfway out of the bathroom into his bedroom, full eyebrows raised at you before turning away.
Heâs right, you are stupid.
Sunghoonâs standing with his back faced toward you, waiting for you to make the next move. Reaching for his shoulder, you gingerly lay your hand down, already short of breath. âHoon..â
âYou want it?â He asks, voice deep, carrying a hint of a smile in his tone.Â
âYes..â
Turning to you fast he pushes you to the wall, breath knocked out as his palms circle your waist. âWhat do I get out of it? Your used up pussy?â
âYou get to fuck me.â Your mouth goes dry, lip shaking half from nerves, half out of anger. âIsnât that what you want?â
âI can fuck you regardless.â Amusement carries in his voice, sliding one hand to your throat. âBetter than he can too, wanna find out?â
With burning cheeks you duck your face in, tongue heavy in your mouth keeping your lips shut tight. âYou really like him, huh?â He huffs, cursing under his breath. âThatâs fine. I can change that.â
Sunghoon squats down, arms curling under your thighs to lift your feet off the floor, a cocky smile stretching across his face as he catches your shocked gasp. Propping your back against the wall, his teeth grit, hoisting your weight into his hold with added renewed strength, more determined to fuck your brain into nothing but a puddle of liquid. âBecause believe me, heâll never fuck you like this.â
His arms slide behind your knees getting a firm grip on your hips, cock dragging between your folds. âGod, youâre so wet.â He sucks in a sharp breath, knees bending to get the head of his cock lined up with your hole. âGet this wet just from me being mean to you or what?âÂ
His teeth grind, still managing to breathe a chuckle through his exertion. âJust wanna get fucked? Doesnât matter if I put it in your throat or pussy, probably even let me fuck your ass right now wouldnât you?â
âN-no..â
The tip of his cock tugs at the muscle of your entrance, prodding no more than the slit in, arousal jolting through you with each teasing pass. It takes a second between your chest tightening and stomach flipping over to realize Sunghoonâs palms have lowered, landing a stinging slap to cup your ass; slowly dragging your back upwards on the wall to allow for his cock to fully enter inside in one fell swoop.
âWhat was that?!â He growls, cock throbbing.
âYes!â You breathe in, eyes rolling back, chest heaving up and down. âPleaseâfuck me, a-ah, fuck me!â
and Sunghoon listens, thrusting forward with a firm grind, cock fully sheathed rearranging your insides. âThatâs right. Want me to fuck your pussy real good? Want me to fuck that pussy the way it deserves to be fucked?â He spits, eyes ablaze with a crazed want, need to release. The stretch from his cock still manages to burn and sting, unable to lock your legs around him from the position he holds you in, full control over your body left to his arms flexed around you; pushing past the clenched up fight of muscle wrapped around him.
âGod so fucking good.â His hips pull back, snapping forward at a maddening pace; rocking into your heat hard and rough, enough to make it hurt. âSuch a good girl.â
Shivers rock up your spine, powerless to his strength over you as you weakly grip onto his shoulders for balance and security out of fear of falling. âHoonie..â
He groans, head tipping back listening to your muffled broken moans, the call of his name shooting straight to his cock. âIâm gonna fucking ruin you.â He stammers, sweat collecting on his brow bone the more he exerts, hips unrelenting with each skin-slapping piston he delivers. âDonât even know how fucking good you are.â
The veins lining Sunghoonâs neck pulsate violently, picking up his pace even more, balls slapping loudly throughout his bedroom with every thrust. The sound of wetness gushing between your bodies drills fear in your chest, loud enough that anyone passing by outside would be able to pick up easily on. âH-hoon⌠Iâmâcum, Iâll c-cum..â you try to say clearly, on the verge of bursting around the unforgiving slam of his length.
âFucking cum then! cum around my cock.â He doesnât slow down, gaze focused carefully on watching the juncture where his dick disappears past your pulsating dripping wet cunt. Sucking in another sharp breath, he slaps your ass again. âCum.â
That sends you flying over the edge, groaning out loud, arms gone limp over his shoulders; whole body jerking back against the wall from the overstimulation. Sunghoon fucks into you roughly as your release drenches past his cock, clapping the wet mess from his thighs to your ass, and it hurts, shocking your neck ramrod straight with wide eyes. âNoâh-hurts!â
âDid I fucking cum yet?â He says between clenched teeth, dropping your jelly-like limp legs from his arms, punctuating the question with a particularly rough thrust. Breathing out harshly, he looks animalistic, wild eyes glaring at you before ripping your shoulder from the wall to slam you against it on your front; chest hitting hard stealing a gasp of breath from your lungs.
âI say when we are done.â He says, splitting your ass open to push his length back in. âYou asked to get fucked, so youâre going to get fucked.â
Sunghoon groans, fingertips finding your hips to bury into, thrusting too hard and fast for you to fully enjoy. Round after round between the two brothers finally taking it out of you, whimpering in over sensitivity as he hits deep inside of you and rips another orgasm out of you, much weaker than the last. âOh thatâs so good,â he grunts, fucking into you harder. âThe way your pussy sucks around me just like that.â
He keeps at it, muttering about how good your cunt feels the tighter you get. âIâd never fuck my girlfriend like this.â Sunghoon breathes into your ear, eyelashes fluttering wildly at the way you grip around him, and then heâs cumming. Cock buried deep inside, pumping out drop after drop of his release between breathless groans. âFuck.â
Sighing, he drops flat against you kissing your sweaty nape.
âNow youâre going to listen to me once and for all.â He thrusts again, pushing out his cum with each backstroke. âAnd end this shit with my brother, or else I swear..â biting the shell of your ear he pants heavily, licking down to your earlobe. âIâll make sure you both regret it. Donât want that, do you?â
Layering kisses down your cheek, he bites your jaw down to your chin, burying inside to the hilt again. âBe a good girl.â
âFuck off.â You mumble, more than past sensitivity between your thighs. Emptied and exhausted you fall back, slapping his forearm around your waist weakly. âNo more.â
âBe quiet.â He grunts, turning you both around and throwing you down on his bed on your stomach, mounting your hips to line his cock back up to your hole. âAnd take it.âÂ
Sunghoonâs an idiot.
At least thatâs what you canât help to think as he stomps into the kitchen and lets out an overdramatic wheeze at the sight of you squished against his brotherâs side at the kitchen island.
âWell.â Popping his lips, he tucks them in, dimples pinching deep holes into his cheek. âArenât the two of you up early.â He says, eyes laser focused on you. âDid you even sleep?â
Heeseung stiffens up, swiping away from one of the videos he recorded during the concert; locking his phone and moving to stand.
âHee, where are you going?â
Sunghoon scoffs, opening the fridge up aggressively in search of a protein shake, mouthing âHEE?!â where he faces away from you.
âUhm,â Heeseung scratches his neck, quickly glancing at his brother and then back at you. âBack to my room.â
âYou have fun in there.â Sunghoon interrupts, mixing his pre-workout. âYou.â Snapping his fingers in your face, he melts you in place with a sleek angry glare. âTutoring in an hour, your professor emailed again and you have a test this week.â
âYeah no.â Getting up to follow behind Heeseung, you flip Sunghoon off on your way out. âCanât meet with you today, sorry! Donât worry though, Iâll find a way to get some studying done.â
Sunghoon crushes the now emptied protein shake carton in his grip, stopping himself from running after you to drag you to his room by your hair. âWhat a little..â
Brushing off your attitude, he swipes open his phone to open up a chat with your mother to inform her of your negligence; emphasizing how worried he is over you passing this class, adding in that at this rate you will without a doubt fail.
He response comes in shortly, thanking him more than once for putting up with you. âShe wonât be wasting any more of your time, Iâll be sure to cut off her subscriptions if she tries to pull this. Please give her one more chance Hoonie, you sweet darling boyâ¤ď¸â
Smirking, he pockets his phone, counting down his fingers for the sound of your scream after the telltale ring of your cell phone carries from upstairs.
âWhat?! Mom! No!âÂ
Feisty. Sunghoon laughs to himself, pleased on his way back to his bedroom only to be stopped by your figure running toward him.
âWhat is your problem!â You hiss, lightly shoving his shoulder. âYou seriously fucking called my mom to snitch on me?â
âNo,â Sunghoon pouts innocently, breaking into a smile. âI texted.â
Practically foaming at the mouth, you grab him by the shirt, pulling him toward your bedroom. âListen to me asshole!â You shriek, using all of your strength to push him inside of your room, kicking the door shut behind you. âHow many times do I need to tell you to leave me alone?!â
Sunghoon smiles, shrugging as he begins to look around your room. âYouâre kind of turning me on, try saying it again.â
âSunghoon!â Charging at him, you throw your body forward at his chest, knocking him back enough for his ass to plant on your bed, surprise drawing his eyebrows up his forehead.
âWhat happened to.. what was it again?â Snapping his fingers, he taps his chin, eyes widening. âOh right! Hoon! Hoonie!!!â He drags out, moaning in a high pitched tone.
âLast night was a one time thing.â
âSure,â Sunghoon leans back on his palms, biting a smile away as he eyes you. âSucks that you left me to wake up alone though..â
Coiled heat spirals through your gut, forcing yourself to look away. âI donât need to get in trouble because of your ass on top of everything, luckily for me I managed to wake up after you fucked me until I passed out. Asshole.â
âYou liked it,â he smirks, sitting up to rub up and down the sides of your thighs. âJust like you like thisâŚthis rough-housing between us, the hot banter and childish little arguments.â
âYouâre delusional, I donât like any of this.â
Sunghoon pouts, pulling you to stand between his parted thighs and hug around your hips with his chin perched on your stomach. âYou donât like me?â
Heeseung clears his throat from your bedroom door, too caught up with his younger brother to even think that heâd come looking for you after bursting out of his room to âkill Sunghoonâ.
âSorry,â he says, beginning to back up. âDidnât know you were busy.â
âHee! No!â
Sunghoon stands up fast, pulling you into a full body hug so that you canât turn around and chase after his brother. âYeah Hee, weâre busy, scram.â
The older nods, slowly pulling the door shut with a broken expression. âHeeseung please!â You scream as a last stitch of effort. âPlease! Donât leave!!â
Sunghoon sighs, rolling his eyes and shoving you away. âFine, letâs settle this shit right now.â
Heeseung pauses, eyes wide and alert bouncing back and forth between the two of you, the panic in your gaze pulling him inside like an invisible string to come in. âSettle what?â
âThis.â Sunghoon repeats brazenly, motioning between the three of you. âYouâre fucking her, Iâm fucking her, better too.â
Heeseung scoffs, shaking his head.
âAnd I donât like that.â Sunghoon continues. âSo, what are we going to do about this? Big brother.â He carps, managing to make the title come across as an insult.Â
âSunghoon, stop this!â You intervene, getting between them. âWhat about your girlfriend?!â
âYeah Hoonie.â Heeseung says from behind you, moving closer until his chest meets your back. âYou think Miyeon would love to know about how you cheat on her every other weekend with random sluts you meet at parties?â
Sunghoon shakes his head with a smug sneer, eyes rolling between an anxious blink. âAnd you Heeseung? Should I tell dad about your weekend adventures? The real reason youâre flunking out of uni? The truth behind why youâre such a fucking failure?â
Heeseung stiffens behind you, clutching at your shirt by your lower back. âHee?â
âItâs not what you think Hoon..â
âWhat? So I just made up all those times Iâve had to watch you embarrass yourself, stumbling out of parties high and drunk off your ass?â Sunghoon huffs a cruel laugh. âReal nice, how youâd clearly rather fuck up your head than evolve, better yourself and try to not be such a low life prick.â
âEnough!â You interrupt, sensing the tension radiating off Heeseungâs body. âGod.â
Taking a deep breath, you have to pause, remembering that you have only heard one side of this storyâŚ
âIâm doing better..â Heeseung whispers behind you, the bottom half of his face buried in his chest to hide. âHavenât been going out the way I used to, I know I need to stop Hoon. Iâm trying..â
âOh Hee..â you turn, slinking your arms around his waist.Â
âUgh.â Sunghoon pretends to gag. âBullshit! Trying my ass! Youâve never tried to fix anything!â
Heeseung frowns, slumping in your hold, eyes falling shut. âI donât know what else you want from me, Hoonie.â
âI want you to get the fuck up off my giââ Sunghoon catches his breath, pausing and stepping back, lips twitching furiously. âFuck.â He turns, hands set on hips visibly shaking from the rage coursing through his body.
âYou canât just..â you start, chewing on your bottom lip, weighing if youâre overstepping boundaries too much. âTalk?â
Heeseung trembles, clearly living in some fear of his brother. A similar cycle to the one youâve found yourself racing through..
âNo!â Sunghoon snaps, twisting back around to face the two of you, features tight and full of anger. âI have nothing to say to him.â
Heeseung nods, rubbing down your back reassuringly. âItâs okay, I have a lot to explain to make this fair.â
âItâs okay Hee, really..â
Sunghoon sneers, muttering under his breath about how repulsive this is, regretting his need for confrontation.Â
âNo no,â Heeseung continues. âHoonieâs right, Iâm a fuck up.. fucked up our relationship, fucked up my education. I fucked up my life, I know.â He reiterates, nodding and agreeing with Sunghoon. âI should have been there for you back then Hoon..â
The younger flinches, tearing his gaze away, jaw twitching. âDonât bother, youâre too late.â
âCome on Sunghoon..â you say shakily, reaching for his hand, only for him to snatch it away. Taking a few steps back to create distance between you.
âYeah..â Heeseung swallows, throat dry as tears gather at his waterline. âI know, but youâll always be my little brother, and if you ever need me.. Iâm here for you.â
âNo youâre not.â Sunghoon sucks between his teeth, licking his lips and rubbing his eyes frustrated, using the fast action to clear away moisture. âIf youâre serious then leave her alone, let me have this for once.â
âHee, no, do not listen to him!â You speak up, glaring at the younger. âIâm not some fucking conquest Sunghoon, Iâm a person, not a trophy to hold over your brothers head just because you have bad blood.â
âI didnât say that.â Sunghoon snaps at you, baring his teeth. âWhy are you even getting involved?! Youâre just making this worse!âÂ
âHoon, come on dude.â Heeseung moves in front of you, shielding you as if his brother would do something that would require that.
Sunghoonâs eyes bulge, bloodshot with his temper skyrocketing, pushing up to his brother nose to nose, a spark of pride roaring through his chest at the lack of difference in their height. âWhat the fuck did you just say to me?â
Heeseungâs gaze lowers, running his tongue along the backs of his teeth nervously. âNothing man, nothing.â Holding his hands up defenseless, he turns toward you, face drained of energy. âSorry about all of this.â
âItâs okay baby,â you console, burying your face in his chest, arms seeking his waist to squeeze around tightly until he gasps for a breath and breaks into a smile. âYou donât have to apologize to me.â
âI canât believe this.â Sunghoon barks, gaining your attention again.
âHoon, listen..â without releasing Heeseung, you turn to face him, lip tweaking down slightly. âItâs not personal, but I like your broââ
âEnough!â He shouts, stomping toward the door. Refusing to hear that for the second time in his life, one unforgettable heartbreak was enough already.
Sighing, you return to rubbing your face in Heeseungâs warm embrace, releasing the built up stress and negative energy circulating around you. Big hands soothe down your spine, setting soft barely there kisses on your forehead, mumbling under his breath. âThank you.â
Sunghoon backs out quietly, blinking away the itch behind his eyes. Typical of his brother to never let him have anything, even the last days with their mother when he selfishly pushed his younger brother away and told him to stay in his room. Fucking asshole could never be there for him the way a normal sibling should be. Heeseung never once chose him over a woman, not their mom, not you, and not her.
He nods to himself, clicking the door shut behind him with his jaw set tight. Itâd be too easy to walk away now, accept defeat, allow for Heeseung to kick dirt in his face once againâŚÂ
But Sunghoon has never liked taking the easy route.
âDid you honestly think that was it?â Sunghoon leans against your bedroom door, stepping in and kicking it shut behind him, startling you as he makes his way in with a venomous glare laser focused on you. âThink I give up that easily?â
âGet out of my room!â You hurriedly whisper, getting up to push him back to the door. âWhat the hell is your problem!? Why do you keep showing up?!â
âYou. Him. Youâre both my problem.â Sunghoon sneers, taking a hold of your wrists to pin them down by your sides and press your back flush against the door.Â
âThereâs nothing to give up!â Continuing to hiss, you thrust your weight forward, barely shifting his figure back enough to take a deep breath and lighten him off your torso. âYou. Have. A. Girlfriend.â
âSemantics.â Rolling his eyes, Sunghoon waves off your annoyance. âA girlfriend, whatâs a girlfriend to you anyway? The girl you met, shook hands with, and then proceeded to fuck her boyfriend anyway?â
âYou!â Huffing, you beat his chest, using your strength to shove. âYou know why!â
âOh, because we made a fair trade? Your grades improve and I get in a nut once in a while.â He shrugs nonchalantly. âBig fucking deal.â
âIt is a big fucking deal you prick.â
âIt wasnât, until you did exactly what I told you not to do and fucked my brother.â He glares at you, forehead wrinkling at the mention of Heeseung. âThe one thing I fucking asked of you, and now here you are, in love or some shit.â He says, hands raised to make quotations with a disgusted leer tugging his face down.
âYou never told me to not..â sighing, you slump against the door, head aching as you wonder how this could possibly be your life. âWhy do you even care?! I donât get it.â
âYou wouldnât.â Stepping back, he saunters to your pinboard of clippings from magazines, quotes and poems about different parts of Europe youâve dreamed of every summer. âBut maybe you will, eventually.â
Sunghoon traces one of the phones of a couple skiing through the Swiss Alps, scoffing under his breath at the idea of you and his brother venturing off together on some romantic getaway. Chuckling under his breath he rips off the photo of the Venice Canals, turning back to face you.
âIâll be sure to have my fatherâs assistant only book the best accommodations for us.â Sunghoon grins cockily, placing his hand along the side of your neck. âFive stars only, my princess deserves the best.â
âWhat?â You sneer, slapping his arm away. âWhat the hell are you talking about?â
âOur dream summer vacation.â He says dumbfounded, mouth hung open offended that you dare to forget. âThe one youâve been working your ass off to better your grades for.â
âHoon, whatââ
âBecause you donât really believe you can just run off to Europe easypeasy after fucking not only one, but both of your step-brothers?!â Sunghoon gasps, grabbing at his chest dramatically. âWhat would your mother say?! Man, with how strict she is, sheâd probably ship your ass off to live on your grandmother's farm in the middle of nowhere. At least thatâs what she said over dinner that one time with Miyeon..â
âYou wouldnât.â
âI wouldnât?â He smiles, batting his eyelashes innocently. âCan you be so sure?â
âBut why?â You ask desperately, head beginning to throb from this back and forth.
Sunghoon shrugs sarcastically, eyes bulging out to mock you with an expression that flat out says âare you stupid?â.Â
âSummer in Europe.â He opens up your door, peering over his shoulder with a dazzling sharp grin. âCanât wait.
Next- Heaven & Back: part 1
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dried flowers | park jongseong
ę¤ DESCRIPTION:  itâs always been jay, even all those years ago when you were fresh out of a relationship with your first love hueningkai. it was jay who was always there, the man who helped you find yourself again and showed you your worth, the man you could clearly picture a future with, the father of your twins. so why are you now having doubts about your marriage? itâs always been jay...hasnât it?
ę¤ GENRE: fluff, nsfw, angstâŚ.
ę¤ WORD COUNT: 13.3k
âś WARNINGS: mean dom!jay, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), p in v intercourse, no protection, degradation, possessiveness, jealousy,, jay gets his heart broken, the park family is in shambles, mentions of cheating, slut shaming, knets hate u lol, mentions of depression and therapy.
⼠đ/n: sheâs been in the drafts for a while, decided to post while i work on my jake fic!
12:39am
There was a time in your life when you felt free and the world was full of possibilities...and him, especially him. You love your husband, you always have and you always will but a part of you canât help but wonder if your life would be different had you given your first love a second chance. The circumstances surrounding your relationship with Hueningkai were far from ideal, an overly busy boyfriend who could never seem to make time for you and a short stay for your study abroad program. The odds really were never in your favor.
It also didnât help that the two of you had completely different ideals and aspirations. You wanted to settle down at some point and have kids, you wanted the big wedding and the house at the end of the cul de sac but Kai wanted you and his music, nothing more. He didnât believe in marriage, claiming he didnât need a piece of paper to show you just how much he loved you.
He also wasnât big on kids, coming from a somewhat big family himself and seeing how his parents marriage didnât last and the pain he and his sisters endured when the divorce was finalized, he came to the conclusion he wouldnât ever want to put someone he loves through that and swore off kids for good. His focus was his music career before anything else and he expected you to simply adjust to his hectic life and be content with being kept in the shadows. Your relationship really took a turn for the worst when he brought you to a party his label mates were throwing, everything went to shit that night.
The party resulted in a broken relationship, bloody nose and bruised knuckles and you pulling out of the SNU study abroad program the following week and returning back home to the states.
You don't even know what youâre doing thinking about Kai, itâs been years and youâre content with the life you lead now. Youâre married to an amazing man who shows you each and every day just how much he loves you and the children you have together. Jay has never given you any reason to not trust him or even doubt him. So why are you now?
Jay is the kind of guy who actually enjoys dinners with your mess of a family, he stands on the train no matter how many seats are empty and somehow manages to be the most handsome yet humble man in any room. Heâs your all time favorite person and you want to live a hundred years and die at the exact same moment so your souls can find each other on the other side as soon as possible and fall in love all over again.
So maybe you donât regret picking Jay, youâre glad you did. Really, but you just canât help but think: what if it had been Kai?
Would you be as happy as you are now? Would you have kids? Would you still be his dirty little secret or would he have told the press about you eventually?
You sigh in frustration and rub at your forehead. âItâs too early for this,â you mumble to yourself before standing from your bed and exiting the room.
You slide on your bedroom slippers and slip out of the master bedroom to head downstairs. You stop by the twins room and open the door just a bit to make sure theyâre still sleeping. You smile softly when you find them passed out in their respective beds.
You shut the door and continue to pad down the hall and stairs into your kitchen to grab a mug and tequila. You pour yourself a cup and head into the backyard to sit on the hammock chair Jay had set up a month prior to you giving birth to the twins.
You place the tequila bottle by your feet and cradle your mug to your chest as you overlook your backyard. Itâs a mess, there are toys scattered about and the play set Jay had installed with the help of his members sits proud and tall right smack dab in the middle of the mess.
You lean your head against the wood of the hammock and pull your phone out of the pocket of your robe. You can feel your eyes water as you scroll through your contact list searching for one specific person. Yujin.
The phone rings for a few seconds before she picks up.
âHello?â
You let out a shaky laugh, âoh. Hi, youâre still up?â
She laughs. âDo you know who youâre talking to? My sleep schedule doesnât exist. But I will say Iâm surprised that you havenât passed out yet. You know, being the mother of one year old twins can be very tiring.â You hear some commotion in the background before you hear the gentle shut of a door. âWhy are you still up?â
You bite down on your bottom lip and play with the rim on your mug. âI canât sleep.â
She hums, âhey, has Jay ever choked you? Because if he hasnât he really should.â
You let out a scandalized gasp, âoh my gosh! You were with heeseung weren't you?â
She giggles and sighs into the phone, âhe might have spent the night.â
You kick your feet and allow the hammock to swing, âoh wow. Was it that good?â
She hums eagerly, âyes it was. Maybe we should get married? Then he could do it for the rest of our lives.â
You nearly choke on the sip of tequila at her words. âI love that it takes asphyxiation to get you to settle down.â
She laughs as well, âplease, youâre acting as if you didnât marry Jay because of his, your words not mine, âmonster cockâ,â
You shrug your robe off and place the mug down, finally getting comfortable. âI donât recall.â
She snorts, âof course you donât. But moving on, are you going to tell me whatâs really going on?â
You clear your throat and stare off into the distance. âIâve been doing some...thinking..?â
You trail off as you try and think of how to phrase your next sentence. âA lot of thinking actually. About...him.â
Yujin hums in amusement, âouu, who?â
You sigh and place your head in your hands. âCome on Yujin, you know who.â
Silence follows after your statement and you hang your head in shame.
âAre you kidding me?â Yujin takes a seat at her dining table and reprimands you. âDo not fuck up your gorgeous family.â
You shake your head adamantly, âIâm not.â
âYou better not! Jay is such a good guy, _____!â
You sigh, âI know that!â
Yujin scoffs, âthen appreciate it for a second, how lucky you are to have found him. Do you know how many millions of women would kill for what you have with him?â
âLook, I know that. B-but I just canât stop thinking about how different things used to be!â
Yujin lets out a confused hum, âwith Kai?â
âNo...with me. I was different...I- I donât know what happened.â
Yujin sighs, âyou said yes, moved to the suburbs and had kids. This is what you wanted, _____. It was your choice.â
You groan in frustration. âI know that, Yujin! But I just, I-I need to feel it again!â
âFeel what?â
âSome small piece of that interconnected love rush you know? It was just-- it was such a high!â
â_____...I get it, Kai was out of this world for you but that kind of love is a fickle bitch. It hurts, it betrays and is ultimately unsustainable but what you have with Jay will go the distance. He really is the one for you.â
You close your eyes and lean back in the hammock. âI know.â You softly say, âI know it with everything in me.â
Yujin nods, forgetting that you canât see her. âSo what are you gonna do?â
You open your eyes when you hear Jayâs car pull up in the driveway. âI donât know.â You properly sit up and collect your mug and tequila off the floor, âI have to go. Jayâs home.â
You donât give her a chance to respond before hanging up and entering the kitchen through the back just as Jay walks in through the foyer. You dump the remaining liquor and place the bottle back in your drink cabinet.
âHi, my love.â You feel Jay wrap his arms around your waist from behind and place a kiss on your collarbone. âWhy are you still up?â
You finish washing up the mug and place it on the drying rack. âMy mind wonât shut off.â you turn in his arms and wrap your own around his waist. He smiles at you and leans down to place his lips on yours for a quick peck but you pull him back in for a longer more meaningful kiss.
Loosely, his hand moves to grip your neck, as you lift your chin higher - so you can press your lips harder into his - while your hands fist into his shirt. His free hand drops to wind around your waist, and in one swift movement, he pulls your body flush against his. Gasping at the motion, Jay uses the opportunity to slip his tongue between your teeth, your lips parting further in response. Indolently, his soft appendage swipes across yours, curling around your tongue and gently massaging it.
Electrified by his kiss, you moan into his mouth, your chin lifting higher as you press your lips harder against his. Mouths moving in tandem, you lose yourself into the intoxicating feel of his lips against yours. The soft petals of his mouth are soft, and as pillowy as you remember; albeit a little chapped, but you donât mind so much. No - because the slight abrasion only adds to the feel of your kiss.
When you feel his tongue flick against yours, your hands uncurl from his shirt - only to wind up his chest, along his throat, towards the nape of his neck. Further and further, you sink into Jay: his body pressed flat against yours, his saccharine taste coating your tastebuds, and his warm breath wafting over your face. You canât help but find yourself drowning into him - his entire presence encasing your senses as you lose yourself deep into his entire being.
Both of you lose track of time, your tongues gliding and sliding against each other, both of you consumed wholly by the other. Lost in your own selves, you feel nothing but each other - want to feel nothing but each other - and soon, the rest of the world fades into the background. Thereâs a soft ache in your lungs - your chest aching from the lack of oxygen, but you donât care. No - right now, breathing is the last thing on your mind. In fact, the only thing you can think of is Jay, and the intoxicating sensation of his tongue against yours.
Nonetheless, eventually, your lungs begin to burn - the lack of oxygen searing through your chest. When the sweltering ache grows too much to be ignored, the two of you pull away - breathing harshly against each other. Your eyes stay closed as you gasp for air, both your breaths mingling together and circulating the air. Your lips are slightly swollen, and as you flick out your tongue to soothe them, you canât help but whimper at the aftertaste of his essence on your mouth: the flavor only deepened by his breath fanning your face.
With your eyes closed, you still feel him linger around you - his calming presence washing over you and soothing your earlier hurt. Swallowing thickly, the two of you gradually open your eyes - coming face to face with each other. Youâre still only a hair's breadth away, his mouth ghosting against yours in tender brushes. Gaze meeting his, you search his eyes for something - anything - even just an inkling of the emotions you feel for him. And as usual, Jay doesnât disappoint.
He smiles gently at you, the soft tip of his nose brushing yours as he repetitively presses affectionate kisses to your lips. ���Not that Iâm complaining but, what was that for?â
You place your head against his chest and lowly whisper into the night, âI love you.â
You wake up with a headache and the muffled sound of voices echoing from your living room all the way to the master bedroom. Groggily, you push yourself up off the bed and stare at the empty space beside you, realizing one of the voices belongs to Jay.
You vaguely remember him coming home last night after his meeting with his producer, your moment on the kitchen counter. How he carried you back upstairs and tucked you into bed beside him.
You hoist yourself off the bed and throw on the silk robe you had in the bathroom as you begin your morning routine of brushing your teeth and taking a shower. Trudging along the hallway to the living room after freshening up, you stumble upon a woman rounding the corner and walking up to you.
You think your eyes are deceiving you when you finally recognize who the jet black hair pulled up high into a sleek ponytail belongs to. âOh sweetheart! Youâre awake! Good morning.â
Itâs Jayâs mother.
She pulls you into a hug and you blush. âI-I didnât know you were visiting today.â You return the hug, âIf I knew, I wouldnât haveââ
âDonât be silly! Weâre all allowed to drink once in a while!â Her eyes sparkle with her words, making you smile. Sheâs always been fond of her and was quite vocal about it. âLetâs get you some coffee, okay?'' Jay's mom leads you down the hallway, past the living room where you see Jay and his father engaging in what seems to be a serious conversation, and into the open kitchen where she ushers you to sit down. âThe twins havenât woken up yet, I was about to get started on their breakfastâ She informs you when she catches you looking around. You hum and stir your still hot coffee.
Before you get to take a sip of the morning brew, you feel someone kiss your temple.
âGood morning, baby.â Jay whispers, placing his phone by your coffee mug, âAre you okay? Do you need aspirin?â
âIâm fine.â you sigh, stretching your neck to kiss his cheek before he straightens his back. His mother sets down another plate, filled with eggs and bacon, before ushering the men to sit.
âLet's eat!â
âââââââââżââââââââ
Brunch goes by fast, small talk about your father in-laws' business is shared and pictures of your kids go around the table before goodbyes are bid with promises of lunch sometime soon. Retreating back into your home, Jay takes a seat on the couch and massages his temples with two fingers.
âJay?â You worriedly ask, sitting beside him and placing your hand on his knee. Thereâs something unsettling about how it takes him a second to reply, staring at the glass coffee table with a stoic expression. You begin to retract your hand until he sighs and grabs it gently
He closes his eyes and smacks his lips together, âThis morning⌠your previous relationship was broadcasted all over the news. I donât know how they got the information but Iâm doing everything I can to take it down.â
âOh.â You blink, unsure of what to say or how to react. If anything, the headache you woke up with starts acting up again as you try to process what your husband had just said. The world knows about Kai. Even more, the world knows about your past relationship with him. You can only wonder how the media is painting you.
You think itâs something along the lines of a gold digger. First you get swept up in a whirlwind romance with an international superstar just to break things off and marry the son of one of South Koreaâs biggest chaebols who just so happened to not only be friends with your ex but work with him as well. Thereâs definitely no saving your image now.
âIâm sorry.â
He frowns at your apology, tilting his head to the side. âWhat for?â
âAbout this mess, Iâm sorry this is interfering with your image.â
âYou did nothing wrong, love. I just hate how even after all these years Kai is still associated with you. Itâs almost like you wonât be able to ever fully leave him in your past where he belongs.â
You want to reassure him that while yes, Hueningkai played a major role in your life, heâs the past. You want to tell him that it doesnât matter because heâll stay in your past but you canât bring yourself to lie to your husband.
The truth is you donât know where Hueningkai stands in your life at the moment and as sick and twisted as it sounds, if he were to show up at your doorstep right at this momentâŚ.you donât know what you would do.
Jay turns to face you. âI donât want you to think I donât trust you, _____. That isnât it, I swear. I just...I guess I just need the reassurance that Kai isnât coming back. Iâm secure with our relationship and I just want to know what youâre thinking, please donât shut me out.â
You open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out, âu-uh...I-'' You're soon cut off by the wails of your twins over the baby monitor. You close your eyes and thank God for the distraction. â-I should probably go get them ready for their day and feed them. They have a playdate with Chaeyoungâs kids''
You abruptly stand and turn in the direction of the nursery. âYou should get dressed for work, Iâll stop by the studio with lunch later for you and the guys.â You hesitate before turning back around to place a quick kiss on his lips. âI love you.â
After dropping off the twins and making a quick trip to the grocery store, youâre talking to Yujin over the phone about her taking her relationship with Heeseung to the next level when your phone chimes with a message from a number you should have blocked and deleted a long time ago. Itâs Kai.
You block out Yujinâs words about her current issues and shakily reach for the device, scared to read the contents of his unprompted message.
2:33pm [hueningkai]: iâm sure youâve seen the articles by now and i really am sorry if it put you in a difficult position with jay. i know you told me to delete your number and never reach out again but i donât want you to hate me anymore than you already do _____.
2:33pm [hueningkai]: iâm not the one who sold the story to the press, i donât know how it got out and iâm working really hard to get them taken down so please be patient and wait for me a little longer.
2:35pm [hueningkai]: iâll make things right.
âI donât want you to hate me anymore than you already do.â Your ears ring and your breath hitches as the phase catapults you into the past.
â_____.â he called in a breath.
He felt the panic rising. He wasnât ready to confront you. From what Yeonjun had told him, you weren't doing great when you left the party last night. He told him how you had cried your eyes out on your way back home. Hueningkai had never seen you cry - apart from that time the two of you watched All The Bright Places together - you were always so cheery all the time, always in a good mood. In the past months youâve been together youâve never had a fight - you bickered continuously, yes, but never fought. You were always in sync, as if you could read each otherâs minds. Hueningkai never felt such a connection with anybody else.Â
You were still looking at him. you looked at him and you saw the beautiful man you fell in love with tremble with fear. He was afraid of you. And in some way, you were scared of him too. you were scared of who he was, who he really was - because last night you had come to one conclusion: you donât know Hueningkai. You thought you did, you thought you had learned enough of him in these past months, but you were wrong. He wasnât the great, responsible and loving person you thought he was - because the man you thought you knew wasnât capable of breaking your trust.
If there was something you were sure about itâs your worth. Your pride and tenacity were the qualities that allowed you to be where you were. You're intelligent, independent and determined. You had your moments, but you were strong, and you knew it. You knew that you didnât do anything wrong to deserve his deception. You had cried your tears and felt the pain, but no more.Â
âI just want to know why.â you said, your voice a little bit too shaky for your liking.
Hueningkai closed his eyes hard, his head pounding. â_____ âŚâ
âhow long?â you pressed on.
The boy shook his head and took another shaky breath. He stood up and walked to her desk, trying to get some space between the two of them. He couldnât think clearly.Â
Your eyes followed him without wavering. âYouâre not going anywhere until you speak.â
Hueningkai was biting hard on his lower lip in the hope to cover up the pang in his chest. He didnât want this. He cared about her. He loved her. But he knew, deep inside, that there was no going back from what he had done. There was no turning back from this terrible mistake.
âI ended things with her.â was all he could say.
âYou clearly havenât.â you responded in almost a clinical manner. âHow long?â you repeated. âHow long were you seeing her behind my back?â
The boy shook his head again, letting himself fall on the chair. âI wasnât.â
The girl sighed, slowly getting angrier and impatient. âI saw you kiss each other yesterday. Please, be honest.â
âI-â he mumbled, struggling to find the words. âIt wasnât what it looked like.â
You couldnât help but smirk. âVery clichĂŠ of you to say.â
âIt really wasn't,â Hueningkai exclaimed, finding the courage to look at you before cowering back, seeing the disdain on your face. âIt- It was after your first day back to classes after winter break.â he finally admitted.
You furrowed your brows, going back with your memories. âThe day I learned I failed my bio final?â
He looked up to the ceiling, wishing he could turn back time. âYes.â
You thought back to that day, the same day you noticed Yeji for the first time. They hugged, you remembered that day too. You didnât think anything of it when it happened. It didnât seem important to you.Â
Were you too naive?
âDid you have sex with her?â
He shook his head. âI...I donât remember, I was drunk.â
âYou were drunk.â you repeated. âDoes it sound stupid only to me?â
âNo.â he gulped. âIt was stupid.â
You suddenly came to a realization. âThe day after my math final,â you remembered. âYou werenât yourself âŚâ
âYou told me you fought with Bahiyyih.â You murmured in recognition.
âI didnât.â Hueningkai responded, fingers through his hair. He wanted this torture to end.
You were feeling slightly nauseous. You were worried about him that morning, but he was fine only hours later. He had laughed with you during your lunch break. âAnd you decided it wasnât worth ⌠it wasnât important enough?â you asked, your anger rising.
âI didnât want to ruin anything!â the boy exclaimed in fervor, looking back at her again. âYou still had three more finals to take and I didn't want t-â
âSo you went on with it.â you interrupted. âAs if nothing had happened.â
âI didnât want to-â
To what?â you raised your voice. âTo what Hueningkai? To lose me?â you laughed a cold laugh that made the boy quiver. âThatâs bullshit and you know it. And then what? You continued seeing her? Those weeks we couldnât see each other because of your schedule, you were with her, werenât you?â you accused him in one breath, thinking about how distant he had been.Â
Hueningkai was petrified. He was unable to speak against your claims, he wanted to but his throat was constricted. He could feel you slipping away by the minute and he was unable to stop you. He was losing something important, and it was all his fault.
Your breath had turned labored with the realization of how foolish you had been. Four months of lies. You couldnât believe you fell for all of it, that you fell for him.Â
What was it _____? Was it his looks? Was it his personality? What about him rendered you so stupid?
Hueningkai couldnât stop looking at you now. You were sitting on the edge of your bed with your head down and your hands on your knees, your knuckles taught. He wished he could avert his gaze again but something inside him wanted to masochistically remember this moment. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his own hands trembling inside the pocket of his jeans, where he had hidden them. If he didnât know himself better, he could swear his eyes were starting to sting. What happened to him?Â
You finally take a trembling breath, as if you were trying to compose yourself and not cry. You looked him in the eyes with all the courage you could gather and finally spoke the words he had been secretly preparing himself to hear. âI never thought I could hate someone as much as I hate you. I hate you, Hueningkai. With all my heart.â
â_____? Are you even listening to me?â
You shake your head as the memory comes to pass, trying to get your head out of the daze. âY-yeah, sorry. Chaeyoung sent me a video of the twins but I promise you have my complete undivided attention.â You lie. Why did you feel the need to hide this from your best friend?
âOh, itâs okay. I have to go anyway, gotta wrap up my thesis.â
You bid her goodbye and wish her luck with her thesis for her PhD program before hanging up. You stand in silence in the middle of your kitchen as your mind cooks up every reason why texting Hueningkai back is wrong and downright disrespectful to Jay but a part of you itches to see what would happen if you did. Would the part of you you feel is missing come back?
2:40pm to: [hueningkai]: i believe you.
You quickly exit the messages app and shut off your phone to finish packing the boys lunches. You individually wipe down each lunch box and place them neatly in the large lunch bag you had found at Costco a while back. You make sure to pack a few snacks and a sealed platter of fruits for them as well.
Youâre back in the car with a few minutes to spare from the time frame you gave yourself, the members warmed up tteokbokki perched on the passenger seat as you pull out of the driveway to your destination. Youâre there in no time; there wasnât much traffic around 4PM.
You park the Mercades in the assigned spot for workers and their family members. You make sure to grab your purse and lunch bag before you enter the elevator to head to the main floor. You greet the security guard; who had remembered you from your previous visits, greeting you as âMrs. Park.â
Bashfully, you bow to him as he lets you pass and make your way to the elevator and ride up to the 10th floor.
Jaebeom, the group's manager, recognizes you the second you step out of the lift and stands up from his seat, â_____! Perfect timing! The boys just wrapped up their dance practice.â
âamazing!.â You beam as you follow him down a corridor. Some employees look up from their work to glance at you; recognition in their eyes.
Enhypenâs practice room is such a large space with multiple glass windows allowing you to see all over. Heâs sat on the floor beside Jake, fingers supporting his forehead as he reads something off a piece of paper.
Jaebeom knocks on the open door and pokes his head in, âboys, you have a visitor.â
You watch as their heads snap up simultaneously to see who has stopped by.
Jay puts whatever he was reading down and stands up, â_____? What are you doing here?â
Jaebeom quietly excuses himself and you whisper words of gratitude as he leaves before stepping further into the dance room.
âI promised to drop off lunch,âholding up the lunchbox you made for them. âI canât have my husband and dear friends starving.â
The boys all cheer and abandon their previous work to come crowd you by the door. Sunoo takes the heavy lunch bag off your shoulder and happily skips to the middle of the practice room with the members following behind. Jay walks up to you, kissing your forehead, âYou really didnât have to. We could have ordered-â
âBut you werenât, were you?â You scowl, âCome on, letâs fill that belly up.â
He leans forward to whisper in your ear, âIâd rather eat you.â
You gasp, instinctively reaching your hand out to hit his shoulder, but he catches it instead and interlocks your fingers together. âStay and eat with us?â
Your heart melts at the gesture and you inwardly chastise yourself for even ever thinking about someone else when you have a husband as caring and loving as Jay.
You shake your head gently, âI already ate, plus I have to go pick up the twins soon.â You stand on your tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his lips, âyou should go join the boys before they eat your half as well. Iâll see you at home?â
He whines and leans in for one more kiss, âat least let me walk you to the car?â
You shake your head firmly this time. âI can walk myself to the car, Jay. Go enjoy your lunch, Iâm sure your bodyâs dying for some nutrients. Iâll call you as soon as I get back home.â
You kiss him goodbye and say your farewells to the members before exiting the large dance room. You walk down the corridor not paying attention to your surroundings, youâre in your own little world thinking about how your life has seemed to turn to shit overnight when you hear the faint calling of your name.
Your eyes wander about until they fall onto a lone male standing in front of the lift. Blinking at him, you couldnât believe your eyes when his profile registers in your head.
Your lips have parted in a mixture of dread and astonishment. You havenât seen him in almost a decade since you left and returned to Korea. All at once, the memories youâve shared together come flooding back and you donât notice youâre staring at him; not even when your phone starts buzzing in your hands.
Your eyes meet and in those few seconds youâre able to see that heâs out of his awkward puberty stage; that heâs finally matured into a man his label had been shaping him up to be. He wasnât scrawny like before, but he wasnât âsoft-lookingâ either; he looked lean and in good shape. The faintest shadow under his eyes tells you that touring and practicing must have been shit to him but he was still handsome as ever.
â_____?â The way he says your name hits you with nostalgia. Heâs still soft-spoken, but you canât really imagine him having such a stern voice.
Finally coming to your senses, you take a deep breath and fake a chuckle. âKai,â You gulp, âHey.â
âItâs been so long! Wow, you look great.â
It takes a second for his compliment to register in your head as youâre still in shock at seeing him again. âY-yeah, you too. H-how are you?â
âIâm good, the groupâs doing well so not much to complain about.â his eyes shift a bit as he clears his throat. âCongratulations, by the way. I saw on the news, and overheard the other members talking⌠about your wedding and twins.â
Instinctively, you look down at your hand; to your wedding band. âAh, yeah. Thanks.â
âIâm glad youâre happy, _____.â
Not knowing what to reply, you nod your head, âUhm, so what about you?â
He lets out a sad chuckle, âNo luck. Touring the world doesnât really give me that much time to socialize. Iâm always on the go.â
âNot even groupies?â
âI guess I'm just not interested in them.â Kai shrugs with a half smile on his face, displaying how chiseled his face was. âStill caught up on an ex.â
You shiver at his words, âstill caught up on an ex.â were you by any chance said ex? You slightly shake your head. It shouldnât matter if itâs you. Youâre married and a mother, you canât betray your husband like that and put your family at risk. Whatever lingering feelings youâre holding on to need to be dealt with and put aside. Kai isnât someone worth losing your family over.
Before you can reply, suddenly, someone steps beside you, pressing a kiss on your temple and wraps their arms around your waist tightly, making your blood run cold. Looking up, Jay smiles sweetly at you but gives the complete opposite glance at Kai. âYou dropped your wallet, love.â
You clear your throat and nod, âthank you.â You unravel his arm from your body and take your wallet from his free hand. âI should really get going now. It was nice seeing you again Kai.â You offer him a tight lipped smile and move to walk past him but Jay grabs onto your hand and intertwines your fingers. âLet me walk you to the car.â You turn to look at him ready to tell him itâs not necessary but the way he says it makes it sound like a command and the way he stares at you shows thereâs no room for disagreement. He nods his head in acknowledgement at Huening before walking past him, purposely bumping shoulders with him. You outwardly cringe at the clear jealousy in his eyes and show of masculinity. The two of you enter the elevator in silence, you hate how tense the atmosphere has become. Jay squeezes your hand one last time before releasing it.
He lets out a deep sigh, nodding, âdo you still love him?â
You blink up at Jay, hands clasped together to stop them from shaking. Do you still love Kai? You always thought you did during your freshman year, but never really thought about it again when you left. When Jay came into the picture, you knew you loved him - probably more than you did Kai, but were you just going to disregard your entire past with Kai?
âHe only meant something to me before, you know that.â You could hear your own heartbeat thumping from your chest as you anticipate his next words.
âYou look at him the way I look at you.â He turns his head to face you, âyou look at him the way I wished you would look at me when we first started dating. Like he holds the whole universe in his eyes.â He gulps as he clenches his fists, âyou look at him like youâre in love with him.â
You wipe your clammy hands against your jeans as Jay's words ring in your ears. Do you really look at him like that?
âYouâre not even going to deny it?â he scoffs and glares down at your shorter figure. âThis morning you couldnât even tell me that heâs a part of your past, G-God! I should have known!â
You shake your head, âJay..â
He only speaks over you. âWhy are you still hung up on that piece of shit? Are you forgetting everything he put you through? Why arenât I enough for you? No- fuck that, why isnât the life weâve built together enough?â
You reach out to grab his hand, praying he doesnât pull away. To your relief and mild shock, he doesnât. âIt is! Itâs more than enough, Jay! I-I love you, and the twins. I canât picture my life without the three of you!â
He nods and grips your hand back with the same ferocity youâre holding on to his. âOkay, then look me in my eyes and tell me you donât love him anymore.â
You lick your lips and look down at the ground. You know what your answer should be yet thatâs not what it is and youâve never lied to your husband. Youâre not going to start now.
âI-I donât know what I feel for him.â
Youâre heartbroken by your own admission, but even more so with how Jay releases a deep sigh and your hand; brows meeting at the middle of his forehead as he rips his gaze away from you. You could see his hands ball up into fists against his sides. His breathing is deep and slow; his tongue slowly licking across his bottom lip.
You should say something; explain it further to him. âJ-â
The elevator dings and the doors separate. You sniff to hold in your tears as new people enter the lift.
âYou should go. The twins are waiting.â
Your head snaps to look at Jay but he makes it a point to avoid your gaze. âB-but you said you would walk me to the car.â
He slowly shrugs. âItâs not like you wanted me to. Besides, being around you right now is too painful. Iâll see you at home.â
The elevator doors close with one last ding and your husband is whisked back up to the 10th floor leaving you all alone in the middle of the reception area crowded by HYBE staff. You try your best to contain your tears as you rush back to the parking garage. You shoot Chaeyoung a text to let her know youâll be late to pick up the kids, when she lets you know that itâs alright you toss your phone and book it out of the parking lot.
You know you shouldnât be driving while so high on emotions but you canât stay anywhere near that fucking building.
Not wanting to go home to silence, you drive to your second safe place. Where you know you wonât be judged and your worries seemingly just melt away.
You frantically knock on the door to Yujinâs home, wondering what the fuck was taking her so long to open the damn door.
âWho is it?â
You choke on a sob and seize your rapid knocking, âi-itâs meâ
â_____?â
You nod and resume your knocking, âjust let me in!â You hear the click of the lock coming undone before the door swings open and Yujin steps aside to let you in. She takes in your frantic appearance and takes cautious steps towards you, not wanting to set you off even more.
âHey, whatâs wrong?â
You place your right hand over your chest as you wheeze, finding it hard to breathe. âI really fucked up.â
You slap a palm over your mouth when a loud sob comes out of your mouth.
Before your body starts to fold as you fail to control your sobbing, Yujinâs arms are around you, encasing your frame against her chest. Thereâs no point in pushing her away. Youâre tired in every aspect and it feels like the only thing to relieve you of that stress is to cry it out.
Your knees give in so suddenly, catching her off guard that she stumbles back a little; balancing your weights until she has both your bodies settled on the floor with her back against the white wall.
âItâs going to be okay,â she shushes you gently and strokes at your back as you sob into her clothes. She allows you to cry to your heart's content and calm down before asking you if youâre ready to speak on whatâs caused you to break down.
âI should have listened,â you whine, shaking your head in disbelief. âI should have listened to you when you told me to leave it alone, I-I donât know why I didnât!â
âWhat happened, _____?â
You look up at her with watery eyes. âI really fucked up YujinâŚâ She sighs and adjusts the way sheâs sitting.
âI canât help you if I donât know whatâs wrong, love.â
You sniff and play with the hanging thread on your shirt. âI...I saw Kai today.â You timidly look into Yujinâs eyes, searching for any judgment in them but her face is passive. âI went to drop off lunch for Jay and the boys and ran into him on my way out.â
âWas that...the first time youâve seen him since what went down?â Yujin softy asks.
You nod, âit was too painful to face him when I came back and Jay just hated me being near him so I guess I always made it a point to avoid him at all functions I knew he would be at.â
Yujin nods, âdid something else happen?â
You close your eyes and bite down on your bottom lip, âan article dropped this morning about my past relationship with Kai and Jay asked me if Kai really was in my past but I dodged the question...he also saw Kai and I together and asked me privately if I...if I still love him.â
Yujinâs eyebrows shoot up, â...and what did you say?â
You scratch your neck and open your eyes, âI told him I donât know what I feel for him.â
A heavy silence falls over the two of you as Yujin goes over your words. âWhat the actual fuck, _____?â
You sigh. âI know, I know I fucked up, okay? But Yujin these past few months I havenât felt like...like myself.â You wipe your nose and try to find the right words. âIâm not saying I donât love Jay, because I love that man with everything in me but when I think back to Kai-before everything went to shit it feels like everythingâs normal again.â
âWhen I saw him today, itâs like something clicked. I felt like the old me again, for a brief second everything seemed clear and like the haze that Iâve been in ever since the twins turned six months just- vanished!â
Yujin waits for you to finish your rant before she gives you her opinion on the topic. âI donât think this was ever about Kai.â
You look at her questioningly, âwhat..?â
Yujin sits up and reaches for your hands. âI should have paid more attention to you when you called me that night, _____. Everything you said then and now...itâs clear. This isnât about Kai, you donât miss him or your past relationship with him. You miss the person you used to be when you were with him.â
You shake your head, ân-no.â
Yujin cuts you off and goes on, â-Everything youâve said- reminiscing on the past, who you were, feeling like a part of you was missing? _____, youâre so focused on Kai and what could have been because you never got the proper closure for what happened. He betrayed you in one of the worst ways and left you with so many unanswered questions. Now that youâve moved on and experienced a new you, youâre finally having the chance to reflect on the version of yourself that you lost and never got to properly say bye to.â
She reaches for your hand, â...it also sounds like you might be dealing with postpartum depression. It doesnât kick in until 6 months, maybe even a year after birth. And before you disagree, itâs not just not being able to bond with your kids, itâs feeling lost and hopeless, heightened anxiety...wishing you were someone else.â
You feel as if a weight lays heavy on your shoulders as you process her words. Postpartum depression? The way she gingerly explains it makes it easier to understand and process. It makes everything youâve been dealing with more clear, your conflicting thoughts and feelings for Hueningkai finally seem to fall into place.
âI-I think you might be right, I definitely need to sort things out with Jay and schedule an appointment with my therapist but thank you for being here for me.â
Yujin softly smiles, âI hope you do actually schedule that meeting with your therapist. Donât prolong this, and Iâm sure Jay will come around. Just explain everything and be truthful. You know he canât stay mad at you.â
You open your mouth to correct her but your phone buzzes in your pocket before you get the chance. You take it out and see a notification from Sunoo. You open the message and see a link to a website. The header for the article leaves you winded.
Hueningkai of TXT issues a personal letter regarding his past relationship stating heâs still in love with his ex.
You donât bother reading the attached message Sunoo sent and slap Yujinâs arm to get her attention. She looks over your shoulder and gasps as she skims the article as well.
Hueningkaiâs apology:
Moa~ recently it has come to light about a past relationship of mine. Iâm sorry for belatedly relaying news of said relationship now but I can not apologize for being a normal teenager and wanting to experience the thrill of a relationship.
I donât know how the media was able to get a hold of such private information and I sincerely apologize to those who were caught in the crossfire.
Itâs true that my past lover is Park _____, the wife of my label mate. If thereâs anyone who deserves a sincere apology, itâs her. She has done nothing to warrant the hate she has been receiving, people have been making attacks on her morals, character and parenting skills. All of which have nothing to do with the situation at hand, she is an exceptional being and an even greater mother.
We have not engaged in an affair of any type, I have only met with her once, today being the first in nearly eight years.
However, I can not lie and say I havenât missed her. Seeing her in person today reinforced my feelings, I never once stopped loving her.
Iâve caused her an immense amount of pain and a lifetime worth of trust issues and I can only hope one day she forgives me. But until then, Iâll do everything in my power to right my wrongdoings.
-Hueningkai.
âWhat the fuck.â You whimper, how could he do this? His âapologyâ did nothing but add more fuel to the fire. You can only imagine how Jay is reacting to this. You pray he hasnât made any reckless decisions.
You scroll down to the comments to see how itâs being received by the public.
omo heâs so brazen đ +366
sheâs a married woman with children...this is a bitâŚ. +987
sheâs really been passed around đ -217
i wonder just how many more hybe men sheâs slept with +38
heâs only made her seem cheap ă
ă
-21
i wonder what her husband is thinking⌠+765
it sounds as if he cheated⌠+92
i wonder why they called things off if heâs still in love with her đ¤ +10
8...years..? (°_°) -65
âThe internet thinks Iâm a whore.â
Yujin reassuringly pats your back, âthey donât know anything and you donât owe them an explanation.��
You shut off your phone, âthatâs not the point, Yujin. iâm being slut shamed and vilified because my ex doesnât know when to keep private information private and my husbandâs pissed off with me and this probably made it worse!â
âThen talk to him, _____. Heâs rightfully upset because you still donât know how to properly communicate with him even after all these years. Itâs not too late to fix things with Jay and this whole Kai situation will work itself out once you work things out at home.â
You sigh, maybe sheâs right? âI should get going, I still have to pick up the kids and make dinner. Iâll let you know how things go once I talk to Jay.â
You say your goodbyes before leaving to go to Chaeyoungâs home to pick up your babies.
It isnât until 9:30pm do you finish with your household chores. You made sure to feed and wash up the twins, cook dinner for both you and Jay, clean the kitchen and catch up on laundry. You even made it a point to clean Jay's home office for him.
He doesnât get home for another three hours. He walks right past you and barely acknowledges your presence. He checks in on the twins who are fast asleep and gets himself ready for bed. You try and get him to talk to you, to say anything but he only tells you heâs tired and falls asleep facing away from you for the first time ever in your relationship.
âââââââââżââââââââ
Three days pass by of the cold shoulder from Jay. He makes it a point to wake up before you and leave early in the mornings for work. On the rare occasion you happen to wake up before him however, he takes his time in getting ready to avoid having to sit down for breakfast with you and simply kisses the twins goodbye before murmuring out an I love you in your direction and leaving.
Simply put, youâre over it. You want your clingy and loving husband back. Luckily for you, todayâs Sunday The one day you know is promised for you. He doesnât have studio time on Sundayâs because you all go to your in-laws to have a family brunch and come back home for a weekly reset. Granted he slept in today and you missed brunch but you still have a chance to make things right. You asked your parents to babysit for you so you would have the house to yourselves for a bit. That way all the pent up anger can finally come out without the fear of upsetting the kids.
âWhere are the twins?â
You look up from your tablet where you have been outlining points you want to make during your conversation with him.
âI had my parents come get them while you were sleeping.â
He sighs, âwhy?â
You fiddle with the apple pen in your hands, âbecause we need to talk and we canât do that if we have to censor our words because our kids are in the house.â
He stares at you blankly for a second before shaking his head. âI donât have much to say to you, _____.â
You sigh and push aside the iPad, âyes you do. Just get it off your chest Jay! This marriage wonât work if you keep avoiding me and keep your emotions bottled up!â
He slams his hands down on the kitchen counter and huffs, âwhat the fuck do you want me to say, _____?â He looks at you furiously, chest rising erratically. âThat Iâm pissed off with you? That I feel like I canât trust you anymore? That I feel like you never even loved me?â Your heart breaks as you listen to his rant but you donât stop him, you need to let him get it off his chest in order to actually heal and move on from this.
âI was the one who was there for everything, Iâm the one you came to when you returned to Korea! Hell Iâm even the one who put everything on the line for you when I found out what he did to you! And yet, you were still in love with him. You couldnât even pretend to be half as in love with me as I was with you when we first started dating. So yeah, Iâm pissed off that now, years later- as my wife, you still canât open up to me the way you opened up to him within four months of dating.â
You sniff and nod. âI do love you, Jay. I always have and y-yeah, maybe I wasnât upfront with my feelings for you when we first got together but that doesnât change anything!â
âBut it does! It does change everything, _____! Do you know what it feels like to know youâll never be enough for the person you love? It feels like fucking hell! And that stupid article didnât make things any better!â
You stand from your seated position to embrace him but he only shakes his head and backs away. âJ-jay, that article has nothing to do with what I feel for you! Iâm sorry I keep hurting you, Iâm sorry Iâve put us in this position but you have to trust me when I say that Huening really is in my past!â
âHow am I supposed to trust you when youâve given me every reason not to.â He blinks away his tears and clears his throat. âI need to work on some lyrics for our new album. Iâll be in my office.â Jay exhales, walking around the counter and past you.
âB-but itâs Sunday.âÂ
Both of you promised each other that as much as possible, Sundays are days off. Unless itâs extremely urgent, neither of you are allowed to work.
âItâs still Saturday in Seattle.â And without another word he retreats to his home office
Confused and guilty, you donât know what to do in your own home. It takes about ten minutes for you to gather your bearings and finish up the dishes from breakfast. You canât even think of coherent thoughts, mindlessly doing the chore until youâre finished and feel lost again with what you could do. After another five minutes pass, you decide to head to the bathroom and sit in the bathtub for an hour.
Once you dry off from your bath, you apply your usual skincare and opt out of putting on any makeup aside from some lip balm. You spritz on a little perfume and get dressed in some gym shorts that hug your butt and a loose fitting top before heading back downstairs to the kitchen to make Jay a plate of food to bring to him, praying that by now heâs cooled off a bit.
As carefully as you can, you quietly walk over to where his home office is and peer through the crack. You want to roll your eyes at what you see; Jay slumped back on his couch, his game console controller in his hands, and an annoyed, but focused expression on his face as he stares at the fifa game he had going on.
âlyric writing, my ass.â You mutter, knocking on the door to alert him before opening it. âI brought you some lunch.â
âThanks. Just leave it there.â Jay mumbles, still concentrating on his game as he nods his head towards his coffee table.Â
Your heart drops; he didnât even spare you a glance. You set the plate to where he gestured and start making your way out until he grabs your hand. You flinch at his sudden action, turning your head to meet his piercing gaze.
He blinks up at you, anger clearly in his eyes, he slowly stands up and discards the controller on his seat. Youâre starting to feel small when heâs towering above you. After a long stare-off, he breaks the silence, âWhereâs your ring?â
You look down at your hand and it only hits you now that you forgot to put your ring back on after you finished your skincare. âIn the bathroom; I took it off to do my skincare.â
Heâs breathing deeply; the strength of his hand around your wrist varies.
You take this as an opportunity, while his attention is on you. âJay pleaseâ You donât know what it is you want from him so you do what seemed like the best choice; you step closer and kiss him.
He doesnât respond though; just closing his eyes in response.Â
âJay.â You whine, running your hands up his arms and tiptoeing to kiss him once more, but his hand comes up to your neck and holds you in place, making you gasp in shock.
âHow far did you two go?â
You grow flustered with his question; wanting to run away but his gentle hold on your neck keeps you planted. âJayâŚâ
He dips his head down, ghosting his breath over your cheek. âSurely, you two kissed. Probably made out, right? Was he any good?â
âNot as good as you-â
Jay scoffs and pulls away, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip deliberately, âYou donât have to stroke my ego sweetheart so answer my question.â
You shift uncomfortably. âI-I donât know. I guess?â
He purses his lips briefly before clicking his tongue. His eyes drag down your body, tracing a path with his palm, âDid you ever get touchy with each other? Any below the belt touching?â
You can feel your arousal growing as he applies a bit of pressure to your neck, âJay, I-â
âJust answer the question, baby.â He hushes, racing his free hand up to your chest, palming one of your breasts. âDid he do this to you?â
âYes.â You whimpered, arching your body towards him; desperate for more.
âAnd being the little slut that you are,â He pulls you closer to growl into your ear, âI bet you liked it, doll?â
He flips you around, pinning you to the door and presses his erection into your ass. He still has a hand on your right breast, kneading it a little more roughly now. You loudly moan at the sudden turn of events, putting your hands flat against the wall to stop him from completely crushing you against it.
His left hand begins to travel dangerously low on your stomach while his hips are still rutting against yours, âDid his hands ever touch you here?â
âNo.â You resolutely denied, âyouâre the only one.â
He hums in approval, but his hands are back on your breasts, which makes you whine again.
âPlease touch me.â
Ignoring your request, he kisses your neck, âSo thatâs all you did?â
You moan and nod your head adamantly. Jay steps away from you, cold air intruding the warmth his body provided. You impatiently look back at him, wondering why he pulled away.
Jay releases you completely and kneels before pulling down your shorts causing you to gasp at the cold air that hits your clit.Â
Jay lets out a hum of approval. âSpread those legs for me, Kitten,â he says - though from the domineering tone, you know itâs more of an order. Without question you obey. The moment your legs are splayed wide. Large hands spread your thighs further before Jay presses his head between - then, he tentatively presses his tongue to your clit.
âAh-â you gasp out, your hips automatically bucking into his face at the roughness of his tongue. Once again, he chuckles before licking a swipe from your cunt all the way to your ass. Your back automatically arched, pushing your hips further into his face. Jay teases you with a couple more kitten licks before pushing his tongue into your dripping hole, swirling his tongue around and collecting all your arousal on his tongue. He laps deep into you, thrusting his tongue in and out, palming his cock as you ride his face. Gently suckling on your clit, Jay presses his nose to your clit, expertly locating your g-spot and causing vibrations of pleasure to strum along them. Your vocal cords strained, voice cracking as you let out another cry. You feel your pussy walls ripple, abdomen twisting into a wrenching knot inside of you as he continues lapping your clit.
You simply canât catch your breath, your head lolling helplessly to the side as your shoulders slump. You quickly feel your orgasm approach, the knot in your stomach twisting even further as Jay drives you to the brink of pleasure. Your hips move instinctively, grinding your pussy against his eager face as Jay buries it deeper between your thighs.
âIâm- oh gosh Iâm going to cumâ You warn, voice raspy and throat raw. You breathe deeper, gasps turning into low moans as your body seizes up, eyes rolling deep into the back of your skull as you come around his skillful tongue. Jay feels you gush around his mouth and lets up a bit to catch his breath before diving back as he licks and swallows up all of your cunt juice. You try to push him away, thighs still quivering as he continues eating you out. You squeal, the overstimulation of your orgasm paired with his continued ministrations driving you wild.
You feel him pull away, exhaling as your pussy finally has some relief. However, it doesnât last long before suddenly Jay stands and grabs the back of your neck to pull you into a sloppy kiss, all wet from your saliva. You respond immediately; hands flying to his shoulders and hoisting yourself up on his body, prompting him to carry you by your thighs.
âYouâre so fucking spoiled.â He groans. He reaches from below to push his pants down and slips his shaft in.
A moan erupts from your throat; his length slipping in easily with your arousal. You cling onto his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his neck as he starts pounding into you with immense force. Youâre moaning in pleasure when his hands are practically clawing at your hips, ramming himself deeper and deeper.
Jay slowly makes his way out of his office making his way to what you assume is your bedroom but stops at the foot of the staircase and gently places you down on the first few steps, his dick not once leaving you. He puts you down to spin you around and enters you from behind; youâre convinced that your hips are bruised at how his fingers are digging into them to help him control the paceÂ
âJay.â You moan, barely holding yourself up by your forearms. You reach beneath you to try and stimulate your clit, wanting just a little more something to climax.
He stops you from touching yourself, grabbing both your wrists and holds them behind you. Heâs pushing all of his weight up into you, practically lying on top of you. His skin is hot and sweaty, sliding against your back.
Itâs almost too much - the pleasure, the emotions, and the love you feel. Your heart begins palpitating in your chest, beating so hard and fast that your chest begins to ache. âJay,â you whine, the sound high-pitched as you squeal from his ministrations, âIâm cumming,â you whimper though, Jay doesnât need the warning. He already knows your orgasm is impending, from the way your thighs begin shaking and the way your walls clamp around him.
âAh. AH- AH! Jay!â you finally sob. Your peak hits a crescendo, and your orgasm ricochets through you with more force than you expected. Jay groans, feeling your pussy ripple uncontrollably around his cock before tightening. Your walls contract rhythmically, and suddenly, his hips still as he begins cumming.
Rope after rope of Jayâs cum slowly fills you. His warmth practically burns inside you, coating your walls white and claiming every single piece of you as his. His cum spills out of you once he pulls out and he rests his forehead on your shoulder as both of you catch your breaths, rolling off of you.
Soon, youâre turning to face him. You lean in and place a kiss on his lips, this time he responds to it; opening his mouth so you could slip your tongue in.
Without breaking off the kiss, he sits up and cradles one side of your face with his hand.
âIâm sorry.â He quietly says in between kisses.
âIâm sorry, too.â You curl up into his chest as he leans back on the bannaster. âI should have just been honest from the start. You deserve to know.â
Jay combs back your hair for you, âYou donât have to talk about it today.â
âNo. I donât want to put it off any longer.â
âOkay, letâs get cleaned and dressed first.â He kisses your cheek before standing, helping you up as well.
Jay helps you clean up and carries you up the stairs to bring you into your shared room, he wipes you down with a warm cloth and dresses you in his boxers and oversized graphic before leaving to enter the bathroom to clean himself up as well to get dressed.
Five minutes later, Jay is back and clothed; sporting another plain tee and boxers. Sitting beside you, he patiently waits for you, angling his body to face yours.
âWhen you asked me if he was a part of my past I should have told you what I was thinking instead of avoiding the topic,â You pick at the bedsheets, âKai and I were always complicated, and I canât say I miss that or him but I do miss who I was before I lost him.â
You sigh, âthese past few months have been hard and I should have told you when I first started feeling less like myself. I guess I thought it was all in my head and I didnât want you to think it was you⌠I love you and what I feel for Kai-â
Jay tips his head at your sudden pause.
âWhat I felt for Kai, is nowhere near what I feel for you. Heâs a part of my past and..,â You shake your head, âand Iâm sorry for being so shady about it. I donât look at Kai the way I look at you, I never can because I donât love him. And itâs something thatâs taken me time to realize but, I donât miss Kai. I miss who I used to be when I was with him, before he ruined that.â
âIâm sorry I hurt you in the process of trying to figure out my shit but I can assure you that no part of me is in love with him. Iâve been feeling differently and itâs not because of anything you did or said,â You nervously laugh, âI talked to Yujin about it and she totally went all psychologist on me, but she thinks this is all stemming from a larger problem⌠she thinks I might have postpartum depression..â
He lifts his hand to your cheek to wipe away a stray tear you didnât even know fell from your eye. âPostpartum depression?â
âMmmh. My issues are stemming from my inability to let go of who I used to be to allow myself to be who I am now.â You inhale as deep as you can and exhale with an awkward laugh, âI booked a therapy session with Dr. Lee for Tuesday, weâll know more then.â
Jay pulls you to him, kissing your forehead, âIâm sorry for not paying closer attention. Iâm even more sorry that Iâve been such a jackass to you recently.â
âI should have communicated better.â
âYes, you should have but as your husband I shouldnât have missed the signs. Iâm so sorry baby.â
You lean into him, slinging your arms over his shoulders. âAre we okay?â
He smiles softly and nods. âOf course we are.â
He grins, nose scrunching at how you curl up like a cat to cuddle his chest. You run your fingers over his hair, slowly and repeatedly, reciprocating the little smile splayed on his face. His lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings.
âI love you.â
Youâre sat on the couch in your living room with Jay and his publicist with a random kdrama playing faintly in the background while the twins take their afternoon nap upstairs. Itâs been a week since Hueningkaiâs apology dropped and the press and fans are still raving over it.
There are protests outside HYBE demanding Hueningkai be pulled out of further TXT promotions indefinitely while some fans are still shading you and your integrity on Twitter. You never imagined your life would become such a hot topic yet here you are.
âWe need to satiate the media,â Jayâs publicist, Jaemin, places down his coffee on the coaster in front of him and clears his throat, âIâve talked it over with your manager, members and the CEO himself. We believe a statement from the two of you and the third party is a good way to clear the air and show to the public that there is no animosity or anything scandalous going on.â
You feel Jay squeeze your hand as he mulls over what has been said. âWhy a statement? Where would it be posted? Is this really the best option?â
You pat his knee and chuckle at him, âwhat is this? 20 questions? At least let the man get a word in.â
Jay sighs and turns to face you. âIâm sorry, itâs just⌠the press has been slandering you all week and I don't want this statement to fuel that fire.â
Jaemin nods. âI understand your want to protect your wife from the malicious comments being made online and I can assure you that we will be reading all drafts and making edits as needed so it canât be interpreted in a different way.â
Jay wearily looks at Jaemin before looking back at you. âI...Iâm all for it only if youâre comfortable with it, love.â
You look at the two boys and ponder the possible outcomes. âI think we should do it. Itâll clear any and all tension and we can all finally move on.â
Jaemin smiles and stands, fixing his suit he says. âGreat. Iâll leave you two then, send your final drafts to me and theyâll be revised, sent back over to you to read one last time before being posted on Weeverse. Your manager should be in touch soon, Jay.â
You and Jay stand as well to see him out. You thank him for his time and watch him drive away before going back inside.
âYouâre awfully quiet⌠Do you want to talk about it?â You ask once youâre seated back on the couch. Jay spares you a glance before sighing and placing his hands on his knees.
âI know I said I would support your decision no matter what it was but.. are you sure you can handle this, _____? That it wonât be triggering for you?â
You purse your lips as you stare at his side profile. âIâm not on the verge of a mental breakdown, Jay. Iâm stronger than you think.â
He turns to face you and takes your right hand in his. âI know youâre strong, _____. Your strength is a part of why I fell in love with you to begin with. Iâm just thinking about what Dr. Lee said.â
You sigh as you think back to your joint therapy session with Jay two days ago. You opted to attend the first one alone, you didnât think you could be completely upfront with your therapist had your husband been there in fear he would be disappointed with himself and blame himself for your actions and emotions. Once you had gotten the initial meeting over with, you scheduled a joint one with him for Thursday. It went better than you anticipated.
Jay takes a seat on the lounge chair beside you and peeks at you, letting out a sigh when he sees your face, âsweetheart, you being nervous is making me nervous.â
âIâm sorry.â You shake your head, âI just know things will be different once the hour is over.â
It breaks his heart more than it scares him that you think itâll be that way. He squeezes your knee to stop it from bouncing. âDifferent isnât always bad, Iâll better know how to care for you. This is what we need my love.â
Thereâs a knock on the door before it opens. A slender female walks in, wearing a black skirt and a baby pink blouse, and smiles brightly at both of you. âAh, so this is the infamous Jongseong! A pleasure to finally meet you.â
He stands up to shake her hand and offers a smile, âlikewise.â
She smiles once more at you as she sits down on the armchair and taps her finger on the clipboard she brought in. âSo, shall we begin?â
You look at Jay and he nods at her, easing back in his seat.
She leans forward and crosses her legs.âHow have you two been? The twins?â
âWeâre doing okay, better than we were last week.â Jay answers, âthe twins are good too. Theyâre spending the day with my mother.â
Dr. Lee nods her head at him. She turns to you, âYou must be excited, I know I would be if I got some alone time away from my children.â
You feel your cheeks warm up, âthe quiet home is nice, itâs been a while since I could hear a pin drop.â
She hums before looking down at her notes.âDuring our last session_____ explained to me feelings of loneliness and isolation, has she explained this in any detail to you Jongseong?â
You didnât think sheâd segway into your postpartum so abruptly; your mouth opens, but you shut it immediately. Itâs not your turn to speak.
âShe has, very briefly though. It was after we had an argument about her ex, I was upset and I also feltâŚbetrayed. I couldnât understand why she couldnât just put him and their relationship to rest. I only really became more empathetic when she explained she might be dealing with a mental disorder.â
âI see. _____ did mention an argument during our last session.â Dr. Lee says as she makes some new notes in your chart before returning her attention to Jay, âIâll get into her diagnosis in a bit but first, Iâd like to know something. _____ explained to me the fight you had in the elevator and everything that followed..â
âIt might be difficult for you, Jongseong, but Iâd like to ask what you were thinking of from when you walked in on Kai conversing with _____, to confronting her in the elevator, until the night ended.â
âI tried calling her before I left to look for her but she wouldnât answer and when I saw her holding her phone and talking to Kai, blatantly ignoring my call it just made me feel second place to him again. It didnât help that she couldnât be clear about her feelings, all I wanted to do after that was go back and punch the smug look off his face.â
âI see. Why were you so mad at Kai? He wasnât the one who hurt you, so why take your anger out on him?â
Jay doesn't answer immediately, trying to properly think through his response. âHe hurt _____ yet she was still hung up on him. I didnât think it was fair that he continuously got a second chance with her when he never deserved it to begin with, all I ever wanted was for her to love me as much as she loved him...to open up to me like she did with him.â
âHasnât she?â
âNo. It feels like I always have to argue with her before she tells me how she truly feels.â
Dr. Lee nods, âWell, what if I told you she has? She might not flat out tell you what sheâs thinking like she did with Kai but you canât expect her to.â She sits up straight and places her chin in the palm of her hand. âThe one person she trusted enough to open up to betrayed her trust in multiple ways. It wonât be easy to do it again. While she might not be at the level of completely opening up, sheâs doing it in her own way. When she feels as if sheâs ready, she comes to you, she takes her time to think her thoughts through so as to not hurt you. Thereâs no doubt that she needs to work on her communication skills but at the very least, sheâs trying.â
You look at Jay to see how heâs receiving the news but his face is blank.
Dr. Lee watches Jay as well, waiting for a beat to pass before she clears her throat, âI officially diagnosed _____ with postpartum depression, also known as PPD. Itâs a continuous pattern of mood swings, restlessness and reduced ability to clearly think. People with PPD can go through very intense episodes of emotions, such as anxiety and depression.â
She pauses to let him process the information, seeing his brows furrow ever so slightly.
âSymptoms of PPD,â she continues, âare feelings of loneliness and loss of self. People with PPD will often seek out people or things from their past to prevent this from happening; along with this, because theyâre so focused on their past and what feels like is missing they canât allow themselves to focus on the lives they have now.â
You donât say anything, even though you feel like you should. But still, you donât comment on it and nod at her. âThis can lead to a lack of bonding with their children. While _____ hasnât shown much trouble connecting with the twins thereâs still a chance it could happen if we donât properly care for her.â
âIs this treatable?â
âYes, there are many options such as medication, therapy and even self soothing measures but your wife has elected to not medicate. For _____, this is what we call cognitive behavioral therapy; a type of therapy that tries to identify and change negative thinking and pushes for positive behavioral changes.â
âThereâs nothing wrong with wanting to get closure and putting this behind us.â
Jay nods and leans in to kiss your forehead, âokay. If you feel youâre ready then I wonât push.â
Later that evening the two of you sit down to draft your personal statements regarding the current situation before sending them off to Jaemin to revise. The edits are quickly made that night before being sent to you to read. Once receiving the stamp of approval from the two of you both are posted to Weverse and the response is rather surprising. Youâre met with sympathy and grace, fans understanding how hard you must have had it these past few days. Engene step up and start trending tags for both you and Jay and you feel relief all over your body.
While Jay wasnât your first boyfriend, your first kiss nor was he even your first love, he was the only love for you. And thatâs the only love that matters, the only one thatâll last and go the distance. Itâll always be him.
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head over heels â sunghoon park
â spider-man! sunghoon x single mother! fem! reader
â summary: being a single mother was hard, especially when you lived in such a bustling, yet crime-ridden city. as a mother you personally dislike spider-man, even if your toddler son was obsessed with him. thank goodness, you have your best friend, sunghoon, to help you out at times. but little do you know, that same best friend of yours was spider-man. uh oh!
â genre: spider-man! au, friends to lovers, reader is a single mother, riki is your kid lol (can be interpreted as either adopted or biological), baddie reader alert! , down bad! + protective! sunghoon, slow-burn ish/very subtle romance
â warning(s)? minor violence
â word count: 16.9k words
â based off of "head over heels" by tears for fears, also i hope this reads as comic-booky lol
reblogs and feedback is appreciated!
"Sunghoon, is it just me or is Spider-Man the worst thing that's ever happened to this city?"
Sunghoon dropped the kitchen knife in his hand, the one that he was currently using to dice a few carrots.
Clunk!
The man looked over his shoulder to where you were.
It was only a few minutes ago that you came back from workâ your 9-5 office job. The moment that your apartment door slammed shut, you kicked off your god-awful shoes, threw your keys aside, and made your way to the kitchen, where you found Sunghoon peacefully already making dinner.
It wasn't abnormal for Sunghoon to be casually in your apartment. In fact, it was more than ordinary.
Sunghoon was a good friend, someone that you had an infinite amount of trust in. Sometimes, your boss liked to fuck you over and make you work overtime, and sometimes your coworkers were so insufferable that all of your energy was spent, so it was convenient that Sunghoon would hang around your apartment and watch over it, and when the time came, make you dinner.
He never minded it. He actually quite enjoyed it. A lot.
Especially because house-sitting came with an extra responsibility: taking care of your son, Riki.
You were a single mother with a full-time job. Of course Sunghoon wouldn't mind taking some of the load off your back.
Currently, you sat at your kitchen table, flopped over yourself. You were still in your work clothes, your face still made up. Your feet ached, and your eyelids felt heavy.
You never questioned why Sunghoon had so much time on his hands, enough time to babysit and house-sit for you.Â
"Y-Yeah," Sunghoon answered, clearing his throat. "The worst."
Yes, he did have a job. Yes, his job had relatively short work hours. Yes, it paid pretty well.Â
And it was because Sunghoon was Spider-Man.Â
But you didn't have to know that.
"Riki's been napping since he got home from daycare," Sunghoon changed the subject. "He wouldn't stop calling out for you, so I had to show him a picture of you for him to fall asleep."
At the mention of your son's name, you perked up. Almost as if all of your tiredness melted away, you jumped to your feet, disappearing into the hallway.Â
Sunghoon couldn't help the grin that seeped onto his face when you came out with Riki, your one year-old son scooped up in your arms. From the kitchen, he could hear you coo at your son's sleepy face, giggling to yourself as Riki clutched onto you, digging his face into the crook of his neck.
"Riiiikiiii-yaaa!" you drawled, your voice sounding brighter. "I missed you, baby."
Sunghoon laughed, nearly chopping off his finger when Riki babbled some incoherent string of sounds, still sleepy from his long afternoon nap.Â
You brought Riki into the kitchen, sitting him down onto his baby-chair.Â
Sunghoon listened quietly, his attention directed at making the best meal possible, as you chattered with your son.
There was something so joyful about hearing you gush over Riki's every attempt to pronounce literally any coherent word, squealing when he managed to say, "dog."Â
"Mama!" Riki exclaimed, making grabby hands at you. From his peripheral vision, Sunghoon could see you melting, instantly scooping your son back up again, peppering his chubby cheeks with kisses.
One of things that Sunghoon loved about you: your endless devotion to your son.
You'd lay down your life for Riki, and it was one of the most loveable things about you.
"Hoo!" Riki laughed. "Hoo!"
The second thing that Sunghoon loved about you? Your son himself.
"Sunghoon, Riki wants you," you said, a smile in your voice. Riki couldn't pronounce Sunghoon, or even Hoon, so he instead opted for the much easier option: 'Hoo.'
Sunghoon instantly dropped his kitchen utensils, quickly washing and drying his hands. You hoisted up your son, carefully placing him into Sunghoon's arms while still having a gentle hold on him.
Sunghoon took the child.
Riki was a beautiful child. Sunghoon had spent a lot of time with him, to the point that he grew very fond of him. If there was something that he and Riki had in common, it was their love for you.
The three of you stayed like that for a few pulses: Sunghoon embracing Riki, while you stood close by, your hands still holding onto Riki.
Sunghoon could see both the tiredness and love in your eyes, and the youthful glimmer in Riki's chubby face.
There were moments like this, where you and Riki were simply close to him, relying on him for whatever support he could give, Sunghoon wished it could last forever.
Then, the three of you sat down to eat.Â
The rest of the night was quiet. You bathed Riki while Sunghoon prepared his clothes and diapers, and at the end, the two of you tucked Riki in.
"Good night, Riki," you whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
You were already at the doorway, fingering the light switch, when Sunghoon's eyes glazed over Riki.Â
"Good night, kiddo," he said quietly, so quiet that even Sunghoon couldn't hear himself, before ruffling Riki's hair.
"So, how was work?"
Perhaps, one of Sunghoon's favorite times of the day was after dinner, after you both washed up and Riki was in bed.Â
The two of you liked to hang around your living room, and just talk. It wasn't like you had any good work friends to talk to, but you didn't mind. After all, you had Sunghoon.
It was another one of those especially stressful and hectic days at work, so Sunghoon brought out a bottle of champagne.
"So bad," you huffed, reclining back on your couch, throwing an arm over your eyes. "So fucking bad."
Sunghoon nudged you with his foot, handing you a glass of sparkly champagne. Then, he rested at the head of the couch, gently taking your head into his hands and placing it onto his lap. His lanky fingers made his way to your shoulders, pressing down onto them. Slowly, he began to massage you.
"What happened?"
You groaned, sinking back into the warmth that was Sunghoon's fingers. "My fuckass boss. Decided to make me do the intern's work because I was five minutes late."
"That sucks," Sunghoon murmured, his fingers digging into your skin in a way that made you sigh in relief. "Is he giving you a hard time?"
"Always," you sighed. "I don't know why Choi promoted him. He's got a stick up his ass."
Sunghoon frowned.
He heard you cuss out your shitty boss and coworkers all the time, but he knew deep down, no matter how much you despised them, you would never abandon ship. It was in your blood to care too much, to put your all into somethingâ anythingâ and expect nothing in return.
And that's what Sunghoon loved so much about you.Â
That's right, loved.
He threw that word around a lot when it came to you, but he truly meant it.Â
Sunghoon loved you. He didn't know how, whether it be as a friend, or as a lover, but he loved you and that's all he needed to know.Â
He loved you since the day you met in your senior years of high school.Â
He loved you when you cradled his face as he shed hot tears over his heartbreak.Â
He loved you when you and him snuck around the college dorms, creeping into each other's rooms to enjoy late-night ramen.
He loved you when you met your (now ex-) boyfriend Taehyun, and he didn't even think of loving you any less when you announced that you were having a child with him three years after graduating college.
And he loved you now as you slept peacefully on your couch, curling up against what warmth Sunghoon could give you.
Sunghoon gazed at you.
How could he not resist falling in love with you?
Your eyes kept fluttering as they were shut, your hands randomly twitching at times. You've been working so hard to provide for you and your son, while also sacrificing your time to spend with Sunghoon.
Sunghoon was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone rang. It was loud, loud enough that Sunghoon jumped and your body instinctively jerked in its place.
"Shitâ shit!"Â
Of course Sunghoon knew exactly where his phone was. He shot a spider web across your house to grab his blaring phone.
Under the dim light, his blue phone screen illuminated the room.
Incoming call... Mr. Lee, it read.
Uh-oh.
Sunghoon was about to take the call, when he noticed you stirring in your sleep.
"Sung...hoon?" you muttered softly. Sunghoon immediately darted to your side.
"Shhh, it's nothing, [Name]," he said gently. He reached out to cup your cheek, to which you nuzzled your face into his palm, softly letting out a sleepy whimper. "Go back to sleep."
After a few moments of stirring, you fell back into your slumber.
Sunghoon glanced at his phone.
Incoming call... Mr. Lee. He couldn't miss it.
Then he glanced back at you, laying on the couch, shivering into yourself.
Fuck it.
Sunghoon scooped you up in his arms, doing his best to be gentle with you. As the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, it wasn't always easy trying to control his spidey senses and heightened abilities. But when it came to you, it almost came naturally.
He carried you to your bedroom, tucking you in with as many pillows and blankets as he could find.
"Good night," Sunghoon whispered. He stared at you for a few moments, his eyes studied your face. He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, before swallowing down hard. Would it be weird to give your forehead a kiss? He didn't even kiss Riki, because he didn't feel like it was his right to. Sunghoon sighed. He turned away from you, taking one more glance over his shoulder before he turned off the lights and shut your bedroom door.
(Of course, Sunghoon went to go check up on Riki before he cracked open your apartment window, already in his red and blue glory.)
"Yes, yes, I know, Mr. Lee," Sunghoon muttered into his phone. "I know, I'm already on it. Yes. Okay. Bye."
Sunghoon huffed to himself as he jammed his phone into his pocket, muttering curses under his breath.
A bank robbery on Main Street, nothing to be surprised at. The city's crime-rate had been increasing lately, much to Sunghoon's chagrin. The cold air kissed his masked cheeks as he swung from building to building.
It had become a routine for him. Every night, after listening to you talk enough for you to insist that he went home, or staying up late enough to see you fall asleep, Sunghoon usually found himself doing his night patrol. It was mundane, a slow and conventional routine, but Sunghoon loved it.
Seokmin Lee, or DK, was a man a few years his senior, and also the man employing him. To put it simply, DK was a bit of a mad scientist, and under certain circumstances, Sunghoon and him met. After a spider bite, DK's genetically modified organisms, and a lot of crime-fighting, Sunghoon became Spider-Man.
As Sunghoon peeked over the hedge, he watched the group of burglars sneakily creep out of the dark bank. It was insane to him how poor the security was, but what was more concerning was the cartoonish sack of money the robbers were carrying over their shoulders, and the fact that they were wearing black and white striped shirts. They looked like the robbers in Riki's kiddy cartoons.Â
If Riki was here, Sunghoon thought, he'd probably start laughing.
In one fell swoop, Sunghoon swung down to the robbers, landing a kick square on one of the robbers' heads.
"Aghâ!"
"Good evening, gentlemen," Sunghoon greeted calmly, but his voice was filled with contempt. With one of the assailants knocked down, Sunghoon put his hands on his hips, cocking his head. "What're you up to tonight?"
He gazed at their faces: painted with horror and terror. Why didn't they even think of wearing masks when committing a crime? How dumb were they?
"S-Spiderman?!"
There's a pulse of silence, where Sunghoon just stared at them incredulously, almost expecting some sort of retaliation. Even though he was masked, his expression read, 'Can you guys try to put up a fight at least?'
"Get him!" The robbers yelled, beginning to charge at him.
"Let's not be ridiculous, guys" Sunghoon said exasperated, sighing.Â
He shot a web at two of the robbers as he attempted to attack him, before wrapping the white ropes around them, sticking them together. Another burglar tried to sneak up behind him, but they were almost pathetically too slow for his spider-like abilities.Â
Within minutes, Sunghoon had the criminals tied up with spider webs. He'd already called the cops.
"Curse you, Spider-man!"Â
Really, tonight was playing out like one of Riki's cartoons. It was almost funny.
"Yeah, yeah," Sunghoon waved off, brushing off any dirt on his suit. Before he shot a web up to a building, Sunghoon turned over his shoulder. "Next time, get better outfits. You guys look hilarious."
With that, Sunghoon began swinging away, ignoring the curses from the little criminals, whose cries got smaller and smaller.
The worst part about dealing with crime in this city was the outcomes. People saw that other people were attempting to commit crimes, leading them to want to commit crimes too. It was a never-ending snowball effect. It seemed like every day the crime was just escalating. A few months ago it was just petty theft and the occasional mugging every week. Now it seemed like there was some large scheme every day.
If the helicopters flying overhead and the police sirens weren't telling enough, the entire city was awake once again, trying to catch a glimpse of the commotion down on main street.
Checking his phone, there were already several news outlets trying to get a quick buck from reporting the situation. That was probably one of the worst aspects of crime-fighting: the concerning amount of people trying to profit off of it. They just loved to use Sunghoon's red and blue likeness on the front covers.
Truthfully, Sunghoon didn't care about fame. He couldn't stand the reporters shoving microphones in his face.Â
He only agreed to be Spider-Man for one reason and one reason only.
Ding!
Sunghoon slipped his phone out of his pocket.
[name]: just woke up i heard there was a robberyÂ
[name]: you went home right? are you safe?
The corners of Sunghoon's lips lifted briefly. You had a specific way of showing you care for him, and it was exactly this.
sunghoon: yeah i'm safe
sunghoon: i just went out to get you more groceries
sunghoon: youre missing eggs and milk
[name]: thank you hoon, you didn't have to
But he did have to.
After all, you were you, and you deserved nothing but the best. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to take some responsibility off your shoulders.
sunghoon: i'll be back in 10
sunghoon: go back to sleep
Sunghoon was true to his word, as he returned within 10 minutes, with a bag of groceries in hand, to see you curled up on the couch, waiting for him to return. He couldn't help but smile.
"Hoo!"Â
Riki?
"Hoo, Hoo!"
Sunghoon was shaken awake by a weight on his chest, and soft, chubby hands grabbing his face.
If it weren't for his incredible spider abilities, Sunghoon thought that he would have punted someone. Luckily, he didn't, because it was Riki that was waking him up.
"Riki?" Sunghoon said groggily. Taking the child in his arms and holding him close, Sunghoon sat up. He noticed that he was back in your apartment, sprawled out across your couch. He squished Riki's cheek, earning a giggle from the baby. The man rubbed his eyes, yawning. "Where's your mom?"
"Right here," your voice entered the room, a slight smile in it. Sunghoon whipped his head around to see you standing at the doorway, in your work clothes.Â
You slinked over to Sunghoon and Riki.Â
"Good morning, Sunghoon," you smiled at him.
Sunghoon blinked at you. "What time is it?"
"Almost 8AM," you answered smoothly, taking your son out of Sunghoon's arms and stroking Riki's hair.
Sunghoon immediately jumped to his feet. He usually woke up an hour or two before that to prepare breakfast for you!Â
"Oh shitâ!"
"Relax," you put your hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze and pushing him back down onto the couch. "I already made breakfast. Riki's already fed, too."
Sunghoon watched as you gave Riki a peck on the cheek, before giving your kid back to him.
"I'll be back by 6," you told him as you slipped on your shoes, "Breakfast is on the table, just heat it up if needed."
"Right," Sunghoon nodded slowly. "See you. Have a good day at work."
"You too," you said in a sing-songy voice, before heading out the door, leaving Sunghoon and Riki alone.
.
.
.
"Mama!" Riki cooed, making grabby hands at the door.
Sunghoon gently bonked the baby's head with his fist. "She just left."
Riki's lips formed into a pout, his eyebrows furrowing together as his chubby cheeks puffed out.Â
"Mama!" he argued back.
Sunghoon couldn't help but poke the kid's cheeks. "I already said, she just left."
And cue the tears.
Sunghoon and Riki had beef. Nothing serious, just that Riki, even if he was an actual baby, liked to bother Sunghoon. And because Riki was already so much like you, it was hard to say no to him. Even so, he found himself butting heads with the child from time to time.
As Riki wailed, Sunghoon sighed, hoisting him up.Â
"What am I going to do with you..." he muttered to himself.
"Ah wah mama! (I want Mama!)" Riki cried, squirming against Sunghoon's chest.
Days with Riki were fun.Â
And exhausting.Â
But more fun than not.
It usually started with feeding him, but thanks to you, he was already fed. The daycare didn't open until another few hours, so in this time Sunghoon found himself being the most shameful version of himself that he could think of. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But it was definitely a side of himself that made him cringe.
Case and point: Sunghoon's dreadful baby voice.
As he sat against the living room floor, Sunghoon let Riki sit on his lap against his chest. For such an active child, Riki especially liked it when Sunghoon read to him.Â
So that's what Sunghoon did.
Riki's little baby books were the interactive kind, the ones where the little caterpillars sprawled across the cardboard pages were fuzzy and the pop-out orange tree in the corner actually smelled of citrus.
It was unfortunate, at least to Sunghoon, because he always started off the reading with a completely normal voice, and by the end, he'd be talking to Riki with a high-pitched baby voice.
"Feel the grass, Riki," Sunghoon guided Riki's much smaller hand to the furry grassy patch on the book. He didn't even notice the way his voice got softer, going up airily at the end of his sentences. Riki babbled at the feeling of the soft texture under his fingertips, his eyes squeezing together as his high giggles filled the room. Sunghoon grinned. "Feels nice, right?.
Riki laughed again, clapping his chubby hands.Â
"I bet it does," Sunghoon rubbed his knuckle against Riki's cheek.Â
"Hoo!" Riki babbled suddenly.
Sunghoon picked the baby up, placing him on his feet and turning him around so that Sunghoon could see his face. Placing his hands on Riki's side to stabilize him, Sunghoon hummed. "What's up?"
"Hoo!" Riki repeated again, making grabby hands up at him. "Ub! (Up!)"
"Aren't you a little too old for upsies?" Sunghoon asked Riki as if he wasn't one year old, but still complied, lifting the kid up and resting Riki's face on his shoulder. Riki really liked it when Sunghoon carried him around while he did stuff, probably because Sunghoon's height made it a thrilling experience for him.
Sunghoon really enjoyed Riki's presence, even if the kid liked to give him hell.Â
Which was why he narrowed his eyes, looking around suspiciously as if you were there to catch him red-handed, before he tossed Rikiâs small body into the air.Â
If Riki was any other normal baby, he'd scream in fear. But he wasn't. So all Riki did was let out an excited squeal. Almost immediately, Sunghoon shot a web at him, yanking him down from the air and into his arms in an instant.
"You better not tell your mother," Sunghoon booped Riki's nose as the baby clapped his hands, giggling. "She'll kick my ass if she knew that I was throwing you around."
And she'd also beat my ass if she knew that I was Spider-Man.
Speaking of which...
Sunghoon knew better than anyone how you felt about Spider-Man.
In short, you hated him. You hated Spider-Man, and you almost never failed to let Sunghoon know that.
You had a pretty simple reason: even if Spider-Man was a crime-fighter, the way that he was publicized made him more like a celebrity than a public servant. Because of this, people chose to commit more crime in the hopes of getting some sort of attention, which completely defeated the purpose of having a crime-fighter like Spider-Man.
Sunghoon was mere weeks into his job as Spider-Man, in the middle of bandaging up the cut on his hand that he got from fighting crime, when you suddenly barged into your apartment, throwing your bag aside as you exasperatedly began ranting about how a run-in with Spider-Man caused complete and utter hell for you when you commuted back from work.Â
Many months later you still carried that sentiment.
And if he had to be honest, Sunghoon had to agree with you.
It wasn't like he detested being Spider-Man. After all, it paid his bills and allowed him to watch over you and make sure that you were safe. But, still, he wasn't a fan of the media coverage.
All he wanted to do was protect you and Riki. Was that too much to ask for?
Would Sunghoon ever tell you that he was Spider-Man? Probably not. Would you be mad at him for being Spider-Man? Probably. But would you shun him? Maybe for a month, but not any longer. Still, Sunghoon wasn't afraid of going no-contact with you for a month. It was the fear of disappointing you and losing your trust.
He'd rather die than lose your trust!
But sometimes it was difficult to conceal his identity.
Like right now.
The day went on as per usual: Sunghoon played around more with Riki, before taking him to daycare. Then, Sunghoon went to do his Spider-Man activities, before picking Riki up again. It was the end of a stressful week, so you came home early and announced that you made dinner plans for the three of you.
And that's how Sunghoon found himself sitting in a fancy dimly-lit restaurant. Across from him sat you, wearing a dress that made him stare at you for a little longer than he should have.Â
Maybe it was the jazz music playing in the background, or the way that your gloss-laden lips clung to the delicate glass of champagne that you swished in your hand, but Sunghoon couldn't take his eyes off of you.Â
Thanks to the fact that Riki was sitting at the table with his baby high-chair, two of the waiting staff had already mistaken you and Sunghoon for a married couple. Not that Sunghoon minded. And it didn't seem like you minded either, because all you did was throw your head back with a laugh and clutch Sunghoon's arm.
In fact, if Sunghoon had to be honest, you've been confusing him lately.
Or maybe he was confusing himself.
Because he swore that your eyes have been lingering on him lately, running over his figure from time to time before you cracked that little smug grin on your faceâ the type of grin that made Sunghoon shrink into himself. You've been touchier, holding his arm in the crook right in between your chest, almost like you knew that it would make him nervous. You began picking up this habit of looking at his lips, then gazing back up at his eyes, before licking your own lips with a smile. It was driving him crazy.
Why was he feeling this way?
And more importantly, why were you torturing him like this? You were a mother, you were someone well-respected and feared in your workplace because of your sheer ability to read people. You knew your effect on people, so you must know what you were doing to him. Right?
"Sunghooooon," you sang, resting your face on your hands, propped up in a way that made it impossible to ignore how good you looked tonight. Sunghoon was pulled out of his thoughts, his eyes quivering over to you. "What're you thinking about?"
Sunghoon blinked a few times. "Nothing."
You rolled your eyes playfully, reaching across the table to gently hit his hand. "Don't lie to me. I know when there's something on your mind."
"Lie!" Riki giggled, repeating your words like a little parrot. "Lie! Lie!"
"See?" you ruffled your son's hair. "Even Riki agrees. What's up?"
Sunghoon opened his mouth to speak, but he was distracted when you reached for your glass of sparkly champagne once more, bringing it up to your lips.Â
"What?" you cocked a brow at him as he stared at you. "We drank with each other last night. What's so surprising about me drinking right now?"
Sunghoon gulped.Â
You were scary like that, always so straightforward. It made him piss himself, but it also made him want to melt into a pile of mush.Â
"It's nothing." He cleared his throat. "I'm just stressed about work."
"Awww," you frowned. "What happened?"
Sunghoon was talking straight out of his ass, because you reached over the table, beginning to play with his hands. Your eyes were trained on the shapes that you drew on his palms, but you hummed from time to time as words tumbled out of his mouth.
You had to be doing this on purpose.
It was weird, because Sunghoon never felt this way around you. What he felt toward you was quiet, something that was a basic fact to him. But now, all he could do was watch as you fed Riki airplane-style, making funny airplane engine noises as your baby laughed, trying to calm the beating of his heart.
Why did you have so be so attractive? Why was he feeling so warm?
It was a peaceful dinner, save for the war beginning to bubble inside of Sunghoon.
That was, until a loud crash rang through the restaurant. Then, there were whispers, car sirens, and at last, shrieking. The jazz music stopped as a hush fell over the restaurant.Â
Your first instinct was to take Riki out of his high-chair and into your arms, so you did that.
But the moment that you brought your eyes up to where Sunghoon should have been, he was gone.
Like, absolutely gone.
His seat was empty. His plate of food, as fell as his folded cloth napkin and silver cutlery, were left exactly as you last remembered. Sunghoon simply disappeared all of a sudden.
But before you could even say his name, another crash rang through the restaurant as someone screeched, "Giganto!"
Giganto was a self-proclaimed supervillain on the rise. The last time that you heard about him was a few months ago, when he tried to pull off some stupid scheme to take down Spider-Man. It was a pathetic attempt. But now he was back, with admittedly impressive equipment and a nasty spandex suit.
Based on your understanding of the layout of the restaurant, it seems like the front portion of it was crashed into. Which meant that the front entrance was 100% not an option.Â
And that became even more apparent to you when Giganto, in his pink spandex glory, began cackling villainously, announcing his arrival. What he said in his very unnecessary villain monologue was unknown to you, because you were too distracted by Riki, who was beginning to tear up in fear.
"Shh, shh," you held your son against your shoulder, your hand coming up to cup his ear. You pressed kisses on his face, petting his hair in an attempt to calm him down. "Baby, Baby it's okay. We're okay. Don't cry, Mama's hereâ"
"Run!" someone shrieked as another contraption began prowling into the restaurant. It was massive and made of some metal, some sort of machine that Giganto probably made to assert his dominance. It didn't matter to you. What did matter was the two people that you cared about: Riki, and.... hey, where's Sunghoon?
Your feet were just about to start moving when your eyes glazed over Sunghoon's still-empty seat. Your heart dropped to your stomach.
"Sunghoon?" you said to yourself, your eyes wide as they flickered around the slowly-crumbling restaurant for any familiar sign of your best friend. "Sunghoon!"
"Hoo!" Riki cried out.
You couldn't find him, amidst all the dust and hoards of people running past you.
You felt Riki's tears wet your shoulder.
You had to get out of here, if you wanted to save yourself and Riki.
But Sunghoon...
If you did not start running now, you would die. Riki would die.
I'm sorry, Sunghoon, you squeezed your eyes shut, before your feet picked up. You ran, you ran as fast as you could, trying your best to ignore your motherly instinct to stop and kiss Riki as he wailed. You didn't even realize it until your face was wet that you, too, were crying.
It could be fear, it could be uncertainty, it could be because your own son was sobbing. Or maybe it was guilt. Guilt because you could have waited for Sunghoon, but didn't.
Guilt, because you made it out of the crumbling restaurant, but Sunghoon did not.
Guilt, because you left your best friend to die.
You didn't know how long you ran, but you ran far enough that you could no longer hear the helicopters and screaming, only your and Riki's sniffles.
"Shhh," you shakily consoled Riki, rubbing circles on his back, doing your best to ignore the weight on your chest. "It's okay, Baby. We're okay."
But you knew you weren't. Not after what happened back there.
How could you abandon him back there, when he's done everything for you? How could you do him like that, as if he wasn't the sole reason that you weren't dead in a ditch right now? You were a horrible friend, and an even worse person for letting that happen.
All of a sudden, you were lifted off your feet. Literally. One moment you were walking under a streetlight, the next you were in the air.
"S-Spider-Man?!"
With one hand wrapped tightly around Riki, your other hand came up to grip the hero's bicep. Your stomach did flips as you looked down, seeing the city beneath you.
"Hey there," his voice was solemn.
"Where theâ" you squeezed your eyes shut as you peered downâ "Where the hell are you taking us?"
You felt Spider-Man tense under your touch, almost like he was wincing.
"I-I'm taking you home."
Your eyes narrowed.Â
Was it normal for a superhero to be stuttering as they save a civilian?
"And you're taking me home because you know where I live? How?" You felt bad for being so cold, for being so incredibly frigid toward him, but you couldn't let your guard down. Not when you were 100 meters in the air holding your son. Not when you already lost Sunghoon back there.
"I don't," Spider-Man quipped quickly. It was now that you noticed the cut on his shoulder, with dark red blood seeping out and exposing his skin. "Will you show me the way?"
You glanced down at Riki, who was now beginning to fall asleep. He was unlike you in the way that he liked thrill, even when he was just a little baby
You couldnât say that you were happy with who Spider-Man was, but you were not going to reject the help he was giving you right now. Not when your son was on the line.
You huffed. âMake a turn right here.â
âYes, maâam,â Spider-Man muttered.
You did not know why, but it seemed like the sound of the heroâs voice made Riki stir.
âHoo,â Riki babbled sleepily. âHooâŚâ
Sunghoon.
Again, you felt Spider-Man tense.
âMy friendâŚâ you began, swallowing your pride. âHis name is Sunghoon. I-I couldnât find him back there.â
Spider-Man hummed.
âCan you⌠I meanâ Do you think you can look for him? Iâm really worried.
Spider-Man gazed at you, looking at you with his masked face. For some reason, you thought that he was grinning behind the mask, and you almost began shouting at him. But the hero only nodded, saying, âI promise you that heâs safe, Maâam.â
You looked at him pensively, doubt painted across your expression as you chewed on your lip.
âBut if it makes you feel better Iâll look for him.â
You nodded slowly, still doubtful.
The rest of the trip to your apartment is quiet.
Sunghoon 100% expected you to start yelling at him the moment he appeared in your apartment doorway. And he 100% was going to smile through all thirty minutes of it.
âYouâre so fucking stupid, why did you disappear like that?! Do you know how much that scared me?! I thought I lost you and you died, Oh my God youâre so fucking annoying, I was losing my mindââ
Sunghoon was laughing at you as you lightly punched his arms, his sharp canine teeth peeking through, when he noticed the glassy sheen over your eyes.Â
You had tears in your eyes, hot tears that you were blinking back as worried words spilled from your lips. Immediately, Sunghoon stopped his laughing, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close.
He was happy that you cared about him so much, unable to hide the way his lips still pulled upwards as you pressed your face into his chest.
It was late at night by now. Riki was already sound asleep. There was something about the way you sobbed in his arms that warmed his heart, that someone as strong as you would allow him the privilege of seeing you tremble.Â
"I didn't know you cared so much, [Name]," Sunghoon teased. He expected you to hit him again, tell him to shut up, and maybe bite back a laugh, but all you did was shake your head.
"No," you murmured against his shirt. "I failed you."
"What're you talking about?" Sunghoon squeezed your shoulder. "You didn't fail anyone."
"No..." you squeezed your eyes shut, clinging onto Sunghoon even harder. You stayed like that for a little bit, simply holding the man in your arms like he'd disappear. Then, you pulled away, letting your gaze meet his. "I... I ran away when I should have waited for you."
Sunghoon only stared at you confused.
You licked your lips, your expression pinching. "I-I got scared so I ran, I ran so far away a-andâ" you let out a heavy breath, pushing your face into your handsâ "I-I'm such a shitty friend, Sunghoon."
Sunghoon blinked.
.
.
.
Oh!
Sunghoon remembered now, the way he disappeared from the face of earth the moment that disaster struck. One moment he was trying to breathe when you looked at him, the next he was in a tight spandex suit.Â
Of course you had to 'abandon' him. Sunghoon was Spider-Man! There was no way that you would be able to stay back to wait for him.
It should be easy to explain to you, that you could not have possibly been at fault, because the situation was already imbalanced to begin with.
But there was just one little problem!
How was Sunghoon going to explain this to you without revealing that he's Spider-Man?
Sunghoon pulled his lip between his teeth, unable to hide the awkward-panicked expression painting itself on his features as you cried into his shoulder.
Curse you for being such a caring person, he sucked in a sharp breath.Â
He didn't like seeing you cry, so he needed to dig himself out of this one soon.
What the hell was he supposed to say now?
"D-Don't cry," Sunghoon's lips moved on their own. "It's not your fault."
"It is though!" you cried.
"No..." Sunghoon let his panic mode take over. Quick, he needed to make something up. "I-I... It was my fault. I.. uhh..."
The man's eyes darted over to the kitchen, where in the rack lay plates, bowls, and Riki's baby utensils.
Ah, Riki.
It was a small inside joke between Sunghoon and you that Riki was always gassy. After all, he was a baby.
"I needed to use the bathroom really badly," Sunghoon swallowed all his pride. "A-And I was there the entire time... because it was really bad."
You pulled away from him, taking a look at his face. If it wasn't for the awkward topic at hand, you'd call out how uncomfortable he looked. Your brows furrowed, confused.
"What are you talking about?"
Sunghoon blinked a few times. "There was no way that you could have waited for me... I was in the bathroom the entire time..."
"Doing what?"
"You know..." Sunghoon felt his face warm up. "Doin' my business..."
"Oh."
.
.
.
Sunghoon wanted the floor to open up below him and eat him whole, because within seconds, your distressed, pained crying face melted into a massive smile. You threw your head back, your eyes crinkling into thin crescents, sweet laughs mixed with sniffles spilling out of your lips.
Sunghoon stood there, ears and cheeks pink, with his dignity shattered in his hands. He wanted to die, yes, but it made him feel better than you were no longer crying, just laughing. He couldn't help but feel a grin grow on his face.
"I'm sorry, Sunghoon," you squeezed his shoulders, wiping your eyes-- tears not from crying earlier but from laughing so hard. The way you brought your hand up to ruffle his hair, a reassuring smile on your face, made Sunghoon feel like a child, only furthering his embarrassment. "I didn't mean to laugh."
Sunghoon's lips pulled downward, forming an unintentional pout.
"Awww," you patted his head even more, "I appreciate your honesty. It takes a lot of courage to admit that."
It was definitely hard to stay embarrassed when you were so gentle about it, reassuring him every other sentence that you weren't judging him.
Sure, Sunghoon just embarrassed himself in front of you, but it was better than having to see you cry over something that you had no agency over to begin with.
Anything for you.
"Papa!"
"R-Riki, I'm not your-"
"Papa!"
No, no, no! This cannot be happening right now!
It was another afternoon of looking after Riki.Â
Riki just got back from daycare, and took a long and cozy nap. Sunghoon shook him awake an hour later. However, instead of Riki's wide owlish eyes blinking a few times before recognizing Sunghoon's face, exclaiming "Hoo!" as he always did, Riki seemed to learn a new word.
"Papa!"
Papa.
Riki knew the word mama. Of course he did, he knew you.
However, from the beginning, Riki never knew his own legal father, Taehyun. Sure, Taehyun dropped by ever-so-often, but he was no more than a stranger to Riki than a random person on the street.
Riki never says papa.Â
But now he just called Sunghoon papa.
Sunghoon had been spending the past 10 minutes trying to get Riki to call him Hoo again, but it seemed like nothing would work.
Sunghoon held both of Riki's tiny hands.
"I'm Hoo," Sunghoon said slowly. "Say it to me, Riki. Say Hoo."
"H.... H..." Riki began.
"That's right, you're almost there."
"H...H..." Riki's expression pinched. "Papa!"
"No!"
Truth be told, Sunghoon wanted to cry.
Riki calling him Papa and basically recognizing him as his father figure? The thought of it made Sunghoon tear up already.
He always tried his best to be there for you and Riki. To say that you and Riki were the joys of his life would be an understatement; Sunghoon did everything, even undertaking sketchy hero jobs, for the sake of you two. It wasn't like he expected anything in exchange. In fact, Sunghoon didn't even expect to be considered part of the family.
"Papa!"
"Riki..." Sunghoon's chest tightened at the little proud smile painted across Riki's face. "Riki, I'm not yourâ"
Ding dong! the doorbell rang.Â
Leaving Riki on the couch, Sunghoon opened the door without a thought.
Big mistake.
Because the person standing loud and proud at the door was the worst person that Sunghoon could think of.
"T-Taehyun?"
Taehyun Kang, the legal father of Riki, and also your slightly-obsessed ex-boyfriend.
Sunghoon gave Taehyun a once-over. Taehyun was dressed in a crisp dress-shirt, almost as if he was dressed up for a date. He held a bouquet of flowers, his hair slicked back neatly.Â
The moment that Taehyun's eyes fell upon Sunghoon, his eyes narrowed, something that wasn't surprising. You and Taehyun dated for a few years, and during those years you were friends with Sunghoon, too. Taehyun was always malicious towards Sunghoon, something that both you and Sunghoon never understood.
Sunghoon was in love with you, yes, and that love extended to respecting you and your relationships. He never did anything in all the years that you were with Taehyun.
"What are you doing here?" Taehyun spat.
"I'mâ"
Taehyun pushed past Sunghoon, stepping through the doorway. "Whatever, where's [Name]?"
"She'sâ"
"Papa!"
Shit.
Taehyun perked up at the sound of Riki's voice, rushing to the living room and throwing the bouquet aside. Taehyun scooped Riki up into his arms as he coddled him dramatically, exclaiming, "Why didn't you tell me he learned that word?"
Sunghoon's heart sank. Was it bad that he felt a twinge of jealousy? Maybe Riki said papa and thought of Taehyun and not him. After all, Taehyun was supposed to be his father, not Sunghoon. But still. Did Taehyun spend nearly every waking minute with Riki? Did Taehyun put in any effort to spend time with Riki, other than a visit every three months? Has Taehyun ever even changed Riki's diapers? Brush his teeth? Make him breakfast?
Sunghoon felt his blood boil as Taehyun pranced around your apartmentâ the apartment that he had no right to claimâ with Riki in his arms, saying that he was anything close to being Riki's papa.
"Tae!" Sunghoon could hear Riki exclaim from the other room.
"No, Riki," Taehyun said. "You said it earlier. I'm papa."
"Tae!"
"Say Papa, Riki."
"P... P.... Tae!"
Taehyun barged back into the living room, where Sunghoon sat patiently. The moment that Riki saw Sunghoon's face, he cried, "Papa!"
"He just said it again!" Taehyun was bright, but his face fell the moment that he saw Riki's grabby hands at Sunghoon, coupled with the way that Riki squirmed in his hold. Taehyun whipped his head around. He pointed an accusatory finger at Sunghoon. "You!"
"Papa!" Riki said, this time smiling brightly at Sunghoon, something that he hadn't done once at Taehyun.
Sunghoon couldn't help but bask in the sick satisfaction he felt, but he hid it under a scowl. "What?"
"You're stealing my family," Taehyun claimed, his expression painted with anger.Â
"I'm not," Sunghoon said calmly.
"You think I'm stupid?" Taehyun pressed, placing Riki down. "I know that you've been in love with [Name] since the beginning, and just because me and her are on a break, you think that you can just swoop in and play Prince Charming."
"Iâ"
"No, I know!" Taehyun raised his voice. Riki hated it when people raised their voice, silently cowering into himself. Taehyun would have known that if he put any ounce of effort into Riki. "I don't know what you did to Riki, to make him think that you're his father, but it's fucked up. You're fucked up. You will never be a part of this family."
Sunghoon stayed silent for a few moments. The air was tense, so silent that the only audible sound was the sound of Riki's breath.
Sunghoon sucked in a sharp breath.
"What's Riki's favorite color?" was all he said.
"W-What?"
"I asked," Sunghoon looked at Taehyun boredly. "What's Riki's favorite color?"
Taehyun's eyebrows crashed together. "Why does that matter?"
"You're his dad, aren't you?" Sunghoon said simply. "You should know."
Taehyun's expression stayed scrunched together, but no words fell from his lips.
That's right, he doesn't fucking know.
"It's black." Sunghoon got up to where Riki was, scooping him up into his arms, to which Riki giggled and exclaimed Papa! quietly. "Did you know that Riki needs to hold a stuffed toy to sleep? Did you know that his favorite one is a stuffed dog named Bisco? Did you know that Riki's favorite song is Beat It by Michael Jackson?"
Sunghoon stroked Riki's hair, relishing in the way Taehyun dug his nails into his palms, his ears burning red. "Taehyun, what's Riki's dominant hand?"
Taehyun gulped. "Isn't he right-handed?"
"Nope," Sunghoon couldn't hide the satisfied grin on his face. "He's left-handed. In fact, he is allergic to the chrysanthemums that you brought over there."
The room went silent for a few more pulses.
"I might not be Riki's father, but you aren't either," Sunghoon said calmly, strolling over to the front door. "Please get out."
Taehyun never left quicker (and he took the flowers, too).
The apartment was quiet again.
Sunghoon didn't know how to feel.
He would be lying if he said that Taehyun's words didn't get to him.Â
But Sunghoon also felt anger and satisfaction. Taehyun had no right to call himself a part of your family. He made you suffer, both in the past and now. He was a shitty co-parent and an even shittier dad to Riki. Sunghoon hoped that Taehyun understood his place now.
"Papa..." Riki murmured as he crawled toward Sunghoon, nuzzling his cheek into Sunghoon's hand that came up to cup his face.
"That's right," Sunghoon whispered. "Papa's here."
The day went on as normal after that fiasco.
At least, that's what Sunghoon thought.
Because after putting Riki to bed, you led Sunghoon into your bedroom.You locked the door, making Sunghoon gulp.
The serious expression on your face, and the way that you crossed your arms over your chest, freaked him out.
"Sit down." And he did so immediately, sitting his ass down on the bed the moment those words left your lips.
Sunghoon felt like he was a child about to be scolded. He chewed on his bottom lip, wringing his fingers as he carefully watched your standing figure.
"I got a call from Taehyun earlier," you said, your back turned to him.
Shit.
"Said that you were being disrespectful and brainwashing Riki." Sunghoon gulped as you glanced over your shoulder, your eyebrow cocked. "Care to explain?"
"I... I..." Sunghoon's mouth felt dry as he scrambled to gather words. "R-Riki started calling me p... papa, and Taehyun thought that I was brainwashing Riki into thinking that I was his dad, or something..."
You clicked your tongue, about to say something, but Sunghoon continued.
"I justâ I just told him that he should be around more if he wanted... if he wanted Riki to call him papa," he added quickly, a grimace falling upon his expression, wincing with the way you took a deep breath.
Did Sunghoon overstep boundaries? It wasn't like you loved Taehyunâ in fact you've been done with him for a while nowâ but it was an irrefutable fact that Taehyun was there before Sunghoon. Was Sunghoon wrong in thinking that he was even a part of your family? Was he getting ahead of himself? What if both you and Riki saw Taehyun as Riki's father figure and not him?
"Hey," Sunghoon was pulled out of his thoughts when you put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax. I'm not mad at you."
"Y-You aren't?"
You scoffed. "Of course not."
You rubbed your temples. "I'm more mad at Taehyun for barging in and causing a ruckus. Did he say anything else?"
"He said..." Sunghoon bit down on his bottom lip. Should he tell you this? "Never mind."
Your brows furrowed, pressing further. "What did he say?"
You sat down beside Sunghoon on the bed, noticing the way a deep frown painted itself on his features. You took his hand into yours, squeezing it. "I'm on your side, Sunghoon. I won't be mad."
Sunghoon licked his lips. "Just that... I will never be a part of your family."
He continued before you could respond. "I don't think I am... It just bothered me a little bit."
Your face scrunched, before you pushed Sunghoon's shoulder so that he laid down on the bed. You took his head onto your lap, gently running your fingers through his hair. Sunghoon let out a surprised squeak, shuddering at the feeling of your fingers. He pursed his lips, unable to hide his flustered expression.
Your face scrunched, before you pushed Sunghoon's shoulder so that he laid down on the bed. You took his head onto your lap, gently running your fingers through his hair. Sunghoon let out a surprised squeak, shuddering at the feeling of your fingers. He pursed his lips, unable to hide his flustered expression.
"You don't think that you're a part of this family?" you asked, your voice quiet. Sunghoon could hear the hurt in your voice.
"I..." You aren't going to bite, you never do. "I'd like to be... but it's not my place to say whether or not I am."
You clicked your tongue, anger rising in your tone. "And it's Taehyun's place to?"
"W-Wellâ"
"When has he ever done anything for this family?" your voice was filled with indignation, but your hands stayed gentle in his hair. "Taehyun will never be even half the man that you are, Sunghoon. He'll never do any of the things that you do, and that's because he's dead to this family."
You patted Sunghoon's cheek, making him look up at you. Your gaze softened, your lips curving up as you gazed at Sunghoon's wide, dark eyes. They were shiny, almost glossy, as if he was tearing up. "And I think Riki calling you papa is a testament to how much you mean to me and him. You're our family, Sunghoon."
The room was silent again. You and Sunghoon stayed like that, gazing at each other for what felt like years.Â
You felt all types of emotions, the main one being sheer anger. Who did Taehyun think he was? And even more importantly, how dare he take his audacity and hurt Sunghoon?
Sunghoon was your savior, he really was. You had no idea what you would do without him.
Watching as he tried to discreetly wipe the tears in his eyes, you threw your head back, letting a few chuckles fall from your lips.
His earnesty, how willing he was to help, and his sensitive side were all things that you cherished about him; they were all things that made you fall in love with him.
You don't know when it happened, or when you realized that you, in fact, loved your best friend, but it didn't matter that much.Â
It didn't help that Sunghoon was so painfully obvious. You didn't want to get too ahead of yourself, but you weren't stupid. You noticed Sunghoon staring at you for a little longer than he should, the way he got nervous whenever you touched him. It was adorable.
If you had less self-control, you would have grabbed Sunghoon's face and kissed him so hard that he'd see stars. After all, for all the little things you did in the hopes of driving him crazy, his wide eyes staring at you like you were some god drove you crazy.
Maybe it wouldn't hurt to loosen up a bit.Â
After all, Sunghoon had to endure Taehyun and the trouble that he brought. He took it like a champ.Â
He deserved a kiss, didn't he? For everything that he's done for you, for all the trouble that he's gone through. You figured he deserved a reward.
Slowly, you brushed Sunghoon's bangs away from his face, exposing his forehead. His shiny eyes followed you as you readjusted your position so that you laid beside him.
"[Name]?" his voice was a small whisper. God, you just wanted to eat him up.
You hummed, as you leaned closer to him. Sunghoon watched with fluttering eyes and a beating heart. Your face was inching so close to his that he was sure that you could hear how hard his heart was beating.Â
Was it just him, or was it getting hot in here?
Sunghoon's stomach did a flip at the way you gazed at him with lidded eyes, your beautiful lips parted. Oh, if the sky didn't part open and swallow him whole right now. You were so close, so close that he could feel your breath on his cheek.
If you didn't pull away now, Sunghoon thought that his fingers, which were now getting sticky with webs that came out when he couldn't control his nerves, would shoot actual webs.
"Sunghoon," you finally said, your hand coming up to gently guide his face, making him look straight at you. He faltered under your gaze.Â
"Y-Yes?"
There, you did it againâ that thing where you glanced down at his lips for a few moments, before flickering back up to his eyes with a slight, smug grin. You were driving him crazy.
"Can I kisâ"
Knock knock!
"Mama! Papa!"
Both you and Sunghoon immediately pulled away from each other, sitting up. You rushed to your bedroom door, opening it to find a tearful Riki (with Bisco his stuffed dog) in hand. You were quick to scoop him up, though you noticed the awkward expression on Sunghoon's face.
"What?"
How could you act like nothing happened?
"I-Iâ" Sunghoon stammered, his face bright red and his hair disheveled. He couldn't hide his disappointment now that you weren't close to him anymore.
You rolled your eyes playfully. "Calm down, you dork."
With that, you left the room to go comfort your son, leaving Sunghoon alone, his mind fried and his cheeks pink.
Except, you came back within a few moments, this time without Riki.
With one hand, you grabbed Sunghoon's shoulder. With the other, you took his face, taking the poor man by surprise. Gently, you pressed your lips onto the corner of his lips, placing down a soft, chaste kiss.
It was a short, innocent kiss, one that barely lasted a second.
But Sunghoon froze, his mind filled with nothing but you, you, you.
"Happy now?" you rasped against the shell of his ear before pulling away. You chuckled at the way Sunghoon watched you with eyes as big as saucers, his entire face and neck now red, so warm that you could feel it radiating off of him.
That was scary about you, how you could read him so easily. You had him in the palms of your hands, ready to eat him up and play with him like he was putty.
You got up to leave, but when you got to the doorway, you stopped. You turned over your shoulder, a sly grin spread across your face.
"By the way, Sunghoon," you purred. "You should probably come quick. Riki just had a nightmare. Think he needs both mama and papa."
Shit, you were going to kill him.
"Papa!"
No, no, no! This cannot be happening right now.
Why did Sunghoon agree to this?!
A few days ago, DK told Sunghoon about an absolutely appalling opportunity: a Spider-Man meet-and-greet.
Sunghoon didn't know what sick person had this idea, but he reluctantly agreed.
And that's how he found himself on a Saturday afternoon sitting at a Spider-Man fan convention. He could be at home, spending time with you and Riki, but no, he's here taking pictures with little kids.Â
A few kids already spilt their juice and slushies on him. Mothers shoved their babies in his face, while squealing middle schoolers took the most indiscreet pictures of him. It was hot, and Sunghoon was getting tired of putting on his customer-service voice.
Just as Sunghoon was about to sigh for the nth time that afternoon, he spotted two familiar faces in line.
Yours and Riki's.
You looked annoyed, maybe just as annoyed as Sunghoon was feeling, while Riki had the brightest smile on his face.
When he realized that you and Riki were in line to meet him, Sunghoon tried his best to speed through all the pleasantries and selfies.
And at last, you were up next.
"Hi, Spider-Man," you said quietly through gritted teeth. It was obvious that you were only here because of Riki.
"Hi, ma'am," Sunghoon said as curtly as possible.
Your face scrunched, unable to hide your disdain for Sunghoon as Spider-Man.Â
"Uh, this is Riki, my son," you said, carefully handing your son over to the hero. You sighed, reluctantly taking out your phone to snap a few pictures. "Riki really loves your work."
"Smile for the picture, Riki!" you said, and that's the only time that you've smiled in the past ten minutes.
And then, the worst words tumbled out of Riki's mouth.
"Papa!"
Um.
What?
Sunghoon should have known. Last time, when he was carrying you and Riki through the sky, Riki recognized him as "Hoo" almost immediately.
And now, it seemed like Riki could still recognize him, this time as papa.
Sunghoon tensed up, and he froze up even more when Riki began to snuggle up against his blue and red - clad chest, giggling, "Papa!"
You looked horrified, your mouth agape and your brows knitted together.
"I-I'm so sorry, Spider-Man," you stammered, taking Riki back into your arms. "I don't know what's gotten into him."
"It'sâ ahemâ fine," Sunghoon quipped. "Have a nice day, ma'am."
Sunghoon found himself frowning the entire time, until he checked his phone.
[name]: spiderman wants to be you so badÂ
[name]: riki called him papa
[name]: sorry but youre the only papa i know
He couldn't help but chuckle at that.
Sunghoon has been acting strange.
You knew it better than anyone else.Â
It all started after another city-wide crisis. Giganto, the mad supervillain that Spider-Man's been fighting with for months, spread some contaminant in the water supply. This could have been avoided if Spider-Man just left the city, but alas, a few people had to be hospitalized. After that, the city's crime rate ran up the walls.
It wasn't difficult to notice it, the way Sunghoon's face scrunched up like he was deep in thought more often than not, the way he was quick to object you going out to the convenience store after dark, the way that he disappeared for a few hours at a time, suspiciously aligning with news reports, and most noticeably, the way that Sunghoon winced every time that you named Spider-Man.
You weren't stupid. In fact, you couldn't tell if you could just read Sunghoon well, or if he was just horrible at hiding how he felt.
As of now, you had a few suspicions, but all of them centered around one thing: Sunghoon had some affiliation with Spider-Man. He had to have, it was the only thing that made sense.
"I really don't think you should, [Name]," Sunghoon reasoned with you one night, his hands buried in his hair.Â
"Why not?" Tonight, you wanted to test the waters even more. Sunghoon seemed to get antsy whenever you went out at night alone. "I'm just going to get groceries. We ran out of eggs."
You had your back turned to him as you jammed your feet into your shoes, but you listened closely to the worry in his voice.
"I-I can go get it tomorrow morning," he stumbled over his words.Â
"What difference does that make?" you pressed. "Eggs that I buy at night are the same as eggs that you buy in the morning."
You reached for the door. "I'll be back in 20, promise."
You didn't know what switch flipped, but it seemed like as the door hinges turned, Sunghoon reached for your hand so fast that you didn't even see him moving. Has he always been that fast?
His grip was firm.
"I'll go with you," Sunghoon said solemnly.
You narrowed your eyes. "Suit yourself."
That was your tactic, pushing Sunghoon's limit until he had no choice but to take action.Â
He was iffy about you going out at night, so you made sure to do it more often. Each time, he insisted that he went with you. It was funny, because he'd follow you like a guard dog, so willing to fight anyone that even so much as looked in your direction.
"Relax, it's just some kid."
"He looked at you funny."
"He looks like he's nine years old. He is not an assailant."
"But he can be."
You didnât mind that Sunghoon wanted to go with you. It gave you an excuse to hold his hand, and snuggle up against his side in the cold hair. Sometimes, heâd give you his jacket, and you got to be engulfed in his scent. As long as you got to spend time with him, you figured that you didn't mind.
It was now that you realized just how strong Sunghoon was. He carried bags of groceries like it was nothing, and when you and him kicked pebbles along the sidewalk, he kicked his pebble with such minimal effort, yet it still somehow flung across the street at lightning speed.
But along with sticking with you at night, he texted you a lot more during the day, asking if you were okay. Did he think that you wouldn't notice?
What threw you off even more was when he randomly caught a fly with his bare hands, crushing the poor thing right between his fingertips like it was nothing. Since when did he have such precision?
Sunghoon has been acting strange, and you were going to get to the bottom of it.
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at his phone screen for what felt like the millionth time this week.Â
It was noon now, Riki was at daycare and you were at work.Â
It was no secret that the crime rate was rising at an alarming rate. Sunghoon found himself fighting crime after crime, nearly blowing his cover multiple times.
As Sunghoon swung from building to building, he gazed down at the cityscape. It was still early in the day. He could see school children playing ball, laughing as if there wasn't a robbery just down the street. Businessmen in crisp suits pranced around the sidewalks like they owned the place, while public transitters waited around for the bus.
It was still crazy to him, how any one of these people could be the next person that he had to fatefully stop from committing a crime.Â
The only good things about being Spider-Man, at this rate, was that he could easily watch over you throughout the day and that he could help people. If he got another microphone shoved in his face, Sunghoon might become the criminal.
"Are you serious?!" Sunghoon couldn't help but exclaim as he peered over the ledge.Â
He was on his daily patrol, checking alleyways and stopping muggers, when he spotted a child, no older than ten, getting robbed.Â
Seriously? A child?
Sunghoon sighed.
"Oi!" Sunghoon shouted as he swung down, extending his leg so that he could land an easy kick on the assailant's cheek. Maybe Sunghoon put a little too much force, because he swore he heard a cracking noise. As he landed, he made sure to stand in front of the child, shielding him from the assailant.
"Hey man," Sunghoon said smoothly, yet even through his masked face his contempt was apparent. "You realize this kid is like seven, right? Stop trying to rob children."
The assailant groaned in pain, still keeled over on the ground, so Sunghoon took that moment to usher the child away, leaving the two in the alleyway.Â
The assailant was holding his nose, and that was when Sunghoon realized that he was bleeding.
He looked up at Sunghoon angrily, stumbling to his feet. "You broke my nose!"
Sunghoon shrugged. "You attack children. What about it?"
The assailant growled angrily, fumbling with the knife in his pocket as he charged toward Sunghoon.
Sunghoon sighed, rolling his eyes.
With the amount of media coverage Spider-Man got, he would expect people to understand by now that attacking him head-on was just impossible. Every single headline boasted about Spider-Man's super-human abilities, yet here people were, acting dumb as fuck.
Almost like Sunghoon could see movement in slow-motion, mere milliseconds before his assailant collided with him, he shot a web at the wall, flinging himself up to the wall.Â
"C'mon man," Sunghoon taunted. "You're faster than that."
Before the man could respond, Sunghoon swung down and kicked him in the abdomen. He tried to get back up and land a stab at Sunghoon, but alas, he was too slow.
"I'm serious," Sunghoon chuckled, but behind his mask he was completely blank-faced, nearly bored. "You need to be a little faster if you wanna catch up to me."
With one more kick to the stomach, the man was down for good. Sunghoon dialed the police, and with that, he left.
Because he had witnessed a child get mugged earlier, Sunghoon's first instinct was to check up on Riki's daycare.
Sure, Riki was basically a baby, but the thought of a child being attacked made Sunghoon a little worried for him.
In fact, the thought of Riki being in danger made Sunghoon worried about you. Should he go check up on your office too?
Sunghoon's sure that you've noticed by now, how increasingly nervous he got about your safety. At first, he tried to conceal it better, but it got harder as crime increased.
If Sunghoon had superhuman levels of hearing, his ability to identify your voice from miles away must have been god tier.
Sunghoon clung to the walls of your office building, pressing his chest against the hard brick in order to not be as obvious. Stealthily crawling against the wall, Sunghoon finally found the window right where your office was.
Peering inside, Sunghoon could see that you were talking with one of your colleagues. You were smiling, laughing from time to time. It must have been a friendly conversation.
Sunghoon pressed his ear against the wall, letting his enhanced hearing do the work for him.
"Do you have any plans this weekend?" your colleague asked, leaning on your desk.
You hummed, typing away and half-listening. "I'm spending time with my family."
Your colleague smiled. "You and Riki?"
You shook your head absent-mindedly. "Me, Riki, and Hoon."
Sunghoon cracked a grin.
"Oh? Who's Hoon?"
Your eyes flickered away from your computer screen. "Sunghoon? He's my...." you trailed off. What was Sunghoon to you?
"Your?" Your colleague looked at you expectantly, but when you bashfully smiled, she gasped. "Donât tell meâŚâ
"W-Well, I meanâ He's a good friendâ"
"Tsk, tsk, if he really was a good friend you wouldn't struggle so much to say that." Your colleague sat down. "Do you like him or something?"
"Of course I do. He's a good friendâ"
"That's not what I meant."
You huffed.Â
Sunghoon held his breath
"I think I... love him?" you said it like a question, but you didn't look uncertain. The rest of your conversation was pretty plain, just exchanging pleasantries and chuckles about family life.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon was completely zoned out. A gunshot could fire right beside him and even then he wouldn't be fully conscious and in his body.
You?Â
Loved him?
Ohmygodyousaidthatyoulovedhim.
It was getting bad, how much those words affected him. Each time Sunghoon forced himself to recover mentally, your words would replay again in his head, making him squeeze his eyes shut and feel the heat rush back to his face. Sunghoon felt light-headed. If it weren't for the stickiness of his spiderwebs, Sunghoon would have fallen off the building by now.
Was he dreaming?
Sunghoon bit down on his lip to stop the dumb, dopey grin threatening to spill across his face, but alas, a simple glance at you through the window again had his heart jumping.
He felt like a high schooler, getting all giddy again as if no one has ever loved him before.
Well, it was true though. No one has ever loved him before, not in the way that you've loved him.
Maybe Sunghoon was right for being so protective of you over the past few weeks.
You couldn't even bring yourself to be mad at this point, rather just amazed beyond words at the goddamn audacity of these people.
"I don't have money," you said simply, rolling your eyes.
"Are you sure about that, lady?"
You huffed. "Yes, I'm a single mother. You think I'm rich?â Ow, okay sorry."
You were just minding your own business, walking to the subway and thinking about how much you hated your boss, when you were pulled into an alleyway. You were lucky (if this could be considered lucky at all) that you were just getting mugged, who knows what else could have happened?
It was a group of three men, two holding you back and the other trying to extort you of your money. Unfortunately for them, you didn't have any cash on you.
The cold brick wall pressed harshly into your back, hard enough that you nearly winced in pain, but you made sure to show no signs of discomfort or struggle. That would make you seem weak, and if you wanted any chance of getting out unscathed, you should probably avoid showing any vulnerability.
"I can PayPal you," you said simply, your gaze bored.
"We want cash, lady."
You huffed. "I already said, I don't have cash on me. Do you have ApplePay?"
The men groaned.
You had a simple plan: continue to play dumb and keep suggesting alternative payment options to distract them, and when the time came, you'd land a kick to the crotch and make a run for it. A lot of people liked to pool at the convenience stores and bakeries nearby, so it shouldn't be difficult to catch their attention.
"What about Venmo?" you asked, your tone purposefully squeaky and annoying. "Or Zelle? I have a lot of money on Zelle."
You blinked at them, feigning some semblance of naivety, watching in near-satisfaction at the way their faces distorted incredulously.
And just as the three men shot each other looks, trying to reconvene, you realized that maybe your bit off more than you could chew.Â
Maybe acting stupid wasn't the best idea, especially in the face of three people filled with the intent to rob you.
Slap!
Because the next thing you knew, your cheek was hot and prickling with pain, your eyes burning with tears from the sheer impact of that palm against your face.
Your jaw went slack in pure shock. Did they justâ
Slap!
"Shut up, you bitch!"
Woah.
You opened your mouth to let out another witty response (which was probably already a bad idea to start with), but you're cut off when you're suddenly pushed all the way up against the hard brick wall. Your cheek was pressed against it; it was rough and cold.
Grubby hands patted you down, searching for any spare cash left in your pockets. You cringed as they searched through your long-discarded purse for the third time, only to find chapstick, lip gloss, and a bunch of cards.Â
"Come on, woman, you need to have some money on you!" you heard one of them mutter, the rancid smell of cigarettes filling your nose.Â
"I already said," you huffed, letting out a small yelp of pain as they shoved you against the wall again, your lip scraping against the rough brick. You tasted blood. "I don't have cash on meâ"
They shoved you even harder this time, holding you by your head. Your entire cheek was pressed up against the wall, your eyes squeezing shut as pain shot through your head. Maybe you shouldn't have talked so much smack, because now you were feeling light-headed from the sheer impact.
You couldn't see what happened in the next few moments, but you were suddenly lifted in the air by strong arms, strong arms that almost felt familiar. You heard some yelling and shouting, and a few more sudden groans of pain.Â
It took you a few moments to realize that it was a certain blue and red superhero scooping you up, and it took you even longer to realize that it was this same hero that had gently placed you up on the ledge, before going back down to the alley to wreak havoc on those men.
It was horrific, the way that Spider-Man raised his fists, crashing them down on these men so hard that you could see the dark red blood stains seeping onto his spandex costume. The painful cries, the sound of Spider-Man's fists making contact with their bodies, it was all a terrible sound.
You watched silently, slack-jawed.
Spider-Man always had a more action-packed fighting style, utilizing his webs and arsenal of abilities and gadgets to make a spectacle of his fights (whether intentional or not).Â
Yet, here he was, using nothing but his bare hands to beat these men to a pulp.
It made your head hurt, everything. Even from the ledge high up, you could smell the must, blood, and sweat. It made you feel sick.
You could feel yourself lose all energy, deflating. You just wanted to go home, and feel your son and Sunghoon's warmth.
Riki, you thought as you watched in horror.
"Hoon," you whispered, barely audible even to yourself to the point that you didn't even realize that you said it.
Then, everything stopped, and suddenly you were up in the air again.
You mustered all the strength you had left in yourself to become aware of your surroundings. "Spiderâ"
"Don't talk."
So you didn't.
As you felt your mind cloud up, you could only think of a few things.
First, that your entire body had a subtle ache.
And second, that Spider-Man's voice sounded really familiar.
âWhere were you? Why do you have a cut on your lip? Why were you out so late?â were the first words spilling out of Sunghoonâs mouth the moment you appeared in the doorway. âAre you okay? Are you hurt? Why would you stay out when itâs darkâ?â
You appreciated the concern, but you simply did not have it in you talk to him. You were exhausted, and even more mentally drained. You walk past him, ignoring Sunghoon's bombarding questions, completely oblivious to the way he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth, rubbing his bruised knuckles as his brows crashed together.
"Why aren't you answering me?" Sunghoon clutched your shoulder, his eyes filled with concern. You missed the ring of red around his eyes, too focused on your own bloody lips to see the even larger gash slowly healing on Sunghoon's cheek. His breath was heavy, almost like he'd been running around like crazy.
You let out an exasperated sigh, your tired eyes fluttering over to him. The events that transpired earlier were not a big deal to you, but it sure did suck the energy out of you.
Sunghoon cupped your cheek, taking your face into his hands. He studied your expression, brushing his finger against your cut lip. When you hissed at the sensation, Sunghoon sucked in a sharp breath, before his face pinched.
"This is why I told you not go out after darkâ"
"Not right now, Sunghoon," you grumbled, pulling away from him. You let out another sigh. "I don't feel like having this conversation right now."
He reached out for you, but you turned on your heel, heading towards Riki's room.
"How's Riki?"
Sunghoon stared at you, before swiping his tongue over his lips. "I-I'm serious, [Name]. We can't keep having this conversation."
"Not right now," you repeated yourself, not even looking at him.
"No!" Sunghoon cried, his outburst making you stop and cock a brow at him. "We need this conversation now. Y-Youâ It's not safe anymore."
You narrowed your eyes at him.
"Just, don't go out anymore," he stumbled over his words, yet his face was solemn. "Please, just come home early. And ifâAnd if you want to go out, I'll go with you."
Maybe it was because you were already having a bad day, or maybe you were just tired, but you felt anger begin to bubble inside of you.
These past few weeks, Sunghoon had been protective of you. It was endearing sometimes, but now it was getting ridiculous. You were capable of handling yourself, and if you weren't, that was your own responsibility to take care of, not his. You appreciated the concern, but not his visceral disapproval of any time you even decided to step outside.
"Sunghoon," you said calmly, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "I'm a grown woman. I can go outside by myself."
"No," he shook his head vehemently, taking your hands into his. "You don't get it. You don't know what's out there. It's not safe for you."
You tried your best. You really tried your hardest to swallow all the hot anger threatening to tumble out of your lips. You dug your nails into your palms, taking slow breaths as Sunghoon gave you a lengthy lecture about why you weren't prepared for the 'outside world' anymore.
It was difficult. You couldn't be angry that he cared about you, that he was so worried for your wellbeing. But as more words about how you couldn't possibly handle yourself outside were bleeding into your ears like shrill pots and pans to the point that it was unbearable to listen to.
"Am I weak to you, Sunghoon?" you finally interrupted him amidst his tangent.
"What? No, Iâ"
"Then why do you keep acting like I am?" No, you shouldn't be raising your voice at him like this, not when all he was doing was showing you how much he cared about you. Each word was calm, but you felt the venom seeping in with each syllable. "I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of how you act like I'm incapable of defending myself."
"Butâ"
"I don't want to hear it anymore," you grumbled, rubbing your temples and turning your back to him. "Please. I just want quiet right now."
The two of you stood in silence like that for a few pulses, the air tenseâ the most tense that the two of you have ever been.
The silence was broken when Sunghoon took in a deep breath, cracking the front door open, before stepping outside and quietly shutting it.
The entire apartment was deathly silent. With what remaining energy you had left, you retired to your room. The moment your back hit the mattress, your heavy eyelids shut.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon took a stroll along the apartment complex. The cool air kissed his cheek, running through his hair.
Was he wrong for worrying about you so much?
Should he have approached things differently?
How was he going to resolve this now?
Maybe Taehyun was right, that he was trying so hard to be a Prince Charming of sortsâ your knight in Shining Armor.
It was never Sunghoon's intention to make you feel weak.Â
He was just scared. When he saw you in that alleyway, his blood ran cold, and all he could think about was protecting you.
The mere thought of you getting even more hurt than you already were frightened Sunghoon.
Sunghoon wasn't sure how long he spent outside, but it was long enough for his skin to feel cold to the touch.
After collecting himself, Sunghoon had a plan to resolve this bump along the road: he'd go inside, apologize, and explain himself clearly. Anxiety gnawed at him from the inside out, but he knew he had to make things right.
But as Sunghoon made his way back to your apartment door, taking in a deep breath before he reached for the door handle and rehearsing what he wanted to tell you in his head, something interrupted his thoughts.
First, it was the sound of glass breaking.
Then, the sound of Riki crying, and at last, your screaming.
And when Sunghoon busted down the front door, he found the entire house empty, save for the shattered glass window of your bedroom.
"Shhh, Baby don't cry," you shakily breathed, holding Riki close to your chest. "It's okay, it's okayâ Shhh."
The last thing you expected was to be kidnapped by Spider-Man's number one opponent, the supervillain Giganto.
But here you were, tied up at the hands and feet, trying to hush Rikiâs wailing. Youâre not sure where Giganto took you, but it looks like the local ice rink. The humming of the ice rink filled your ears, the icy frost beginning to rise in the facilities kissing your skin.
But here you were, tied up at the hands and feet, trying to hush Rikiâs wailing. Youâre not sure where Giganto took you, but it looks like the local ice rink. The humming of the ice rink filled your ears, the icy frost beginning to rise in the facilities kissing your skin.
It all happened so quickly that you could barely remember how you got here. The hair on your hands was standing up, a chill running down your spine. The entire facility felt empty, only the sound of your breathing and Riki's crying reverberating off the walls, but you knew better. Giganto took you here, so he must be nearby. You didn't even know why he wanted you to begin with, but now you had to deal with the reality of it.
You thought back to Sunghoon.
Wasn't this what he was warning you about? Why did you have to be influenced by your feelings like that? If you just listened to him and acted maturely, this could have been avoided... right?
You couldn't imagine how he felt now. He was just trying to protect you, and you just threw it back into his face. This was the second time that you were shitty to Sunghoon; how could you say that you loved him when all you did was be an asshole to him?
You would wallow in self-pity, but you had Riki to protect now.
Your eyes flickered around the dark and empty facility. Any moment now, Giganto could appear and kill you, or something.
You didn't know much about Giganto, other than that he had the ability to change sizes. That is, he could become very large or very small in an instant.
"Riki, breathe baby," you huffed, hoping that the fast beating of your heart would slow down soon enough for you to think straight. You swallowed the lump in your throat. For the first time ever, you wished that Spider-Man would come and save you from this maniac.
"Well, hello there."
Speak of the devil.
From the shadows emerged a man. He was in a skin-tight suit, with a mask hiding everything but his eyes and mouth, similar to Spider-Man. What made him stand out was the gadget in his hand. It was a gun-like gadget of some sort, glowing bright green.
You narrowed your eyes at him as goosebumps rose on your arms.
"Giganto," you questioned, your voice hoarse from screaming earlier, "Why did you take me here?"
The supervillain grinned, taking his time as he promenaded around the rink. Was he wearing ice-skates? How pompous.
"Is it that hard to figure out?" Giganto mused, his fingers running along the edge of his gadget. "Why don't you take a guess?"
You had no answer. The only thing that made sense was that you were a civilian and a resident of this city. What other connection to Giganto did you have other than that?
You stayed silent, holding Riki even closer to your chest as you realized that Giganto was walkingâ err, skating?â towards you. Your shoulders tensed, trying to pull your curled up legs to your chest.
"Relax, woman," the villain huffed. That's when you realized that he wasn't just holding that gadget, but various other... cones? They looked like those tiny plastic traffic cones at Riki's daycare. Giganto began to place them adjacent to you. "I'm just setting up for a game."
A game?
Just when you thought that Giganto probably forgot about your earlier question, he skated back to where he was previously.
"So, you have a guess yet?"
You would have said something witty, but you remembered what happened last time you tried to use your words to get out of something.
It was distracting you, the way that Giganto was paying extra attention to the gadget in his hands, brandishing it and shining the thing like it was a jewel.
And it seemed that he noticed this too.
âOh this?â the villain threw his head back, letting out a laugh, a laugh that you knew too well to be fake because hey, working in an office with shitty coworkers and an even shittier boss made you receptive to it. âItâs just what I call a Size-inator!â
He let out another string of cartoonishly villainous laugh, nearly comical how enunciated it was. It was so ridiculous that Riki stopped crying, sending you a confused look. And when all you did was stare at him like he was a maniac, Giganto stopped laughing.
âIsnât this impressive?â Giganto threw his hands up in the air. âGee, you people are never satisfied.â
You nodded slowly. He looked so excited about this Size-inator, almost like he was just waiting for you to ask about it. You wouldnât mind doing some talking. After all, it could buy you time and information.
âRightâŚâ you nodded slowly. âSo this Size-ometer-"
âSize-inator,â he corrected you.
âYeah, yeah, this Size-er,â you waved him off, âWhat does it do?â
"Thought you'd never ask!" Giganto threw his hands up into the air theatrically. He snapped his fingers, and in an instant, all the lights turned off in the ice rink, only a spotlight shining over the villain. "The Size-inator is a device designed by moi. I can shoot whatever I wantâ he pointed the gadget to one of the cones he placed down, pulling the trigger. In an instant, the cone shrunkâ "And it will change in size!"
"Pretty neat, isn't it?" he looked at you slyly.
You nodded slowly. "So it's a shrink ray, basically."
"Nuh-uh!" Giganto's outburst made you cock a brow at him. "It's a Size-inator!"
"Right."
.
.
.
"So... Where's Spider-Man?" Giganto asked, teetering on his ice-skates like a teenage girl waiting on her crush.
Your face scrunched.
Um.
How were you supposed to know?
"Uh, I don't know?" you said, your tone questioning your own certainty.
Giganto's face morphed into an incredulous one. He pointed an accusatory finger at you. "Don't lie to me, woman!"
You shook your head, shrugging vehemently. "I really don't!"
Giganto skated up to you, his ice-skates scraping up against the ice to make a shrill sound. He peered down at you, his eyes suspicious even through the mask.
"So you mean to tell me that you've coming home to the same apartment as Sungjoon Park everyday and you didn't know that he's Spider-Man?" the villain eyed you suspiciously.
Sungjoon Park?
"What are you talking about? I only know a Sunghoon Parkâ"
At the sound of Sunghoon's name, Riki stirred.Â
"Papa!" he exclaimed, wriggling in your hold.
"Yeah, yeah, Sunghoon Park, or whatever," Giganto waved off. "You didn't know that he's Spider-Man this entire time?â" he pointed at Rikiâ "You have a child with him!"
Crash!
Before you could even process things, a massive crash rang throughout the entire facility, followed by the sound of car sirens going off and glass breaking.
"Oh! Gotta goooo!" Giganto sped away, summoning his other little gadgets, presumably to go check up on the commotion outside. "Don't you dare try to escape, woman! I'm always watching!"
And then you were left alone again, in the middle of a cold ice rink.
Tap, tap.
Sunghoon?Â
Spider-Man?
Tap, tap.
You knew that Giganto was a maniac, but you didn't know that he was that insane.
Tap, tap.
That wouldn't make any sense.
Sunghoon might be associated with him somehow, but your own best friend as the Spider-Man?
No way.
Tap, tap.
And now that Giganto was goneâ
Tap, tap.
That tapping sound was going to drive you crazyâ!
"Pssst!"
You shot your head around. No one was there.
You looked in the other direction, then all around you. No one was there either.
"Look up here!"
You whipped your head up to the ceiling, where a massive opening had been created from the rubble. And lo and behold, there hung the one and only friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
"C'mon, [Name]," he said, reaching out a hand to you, "Take my hand and we'll escape."
Your eyes widened into saucers, bulging out of your head. You swore that you've heard that voice before, and as you flashed through all of your memories, you could never recall an instance where Spider-Man's voice matched with that of Spider-Man. Instead, all the memories lined up with Sunghâ
"Papa!" Riki cried.
That's something that you could never wrap your head around. Riki seemed to call only Sunghoon papa. Yet, he's been calling Spider-Man papa, too.
You kept your eyes trained on the hero's wide, white eyes, your mind running on its own while your mouth moved.Â
"I-I'm tied up, Spider-Man," you stammered.Â
A familiar voice, papa, a weird obsession with crime and safety, it all didn't make sense.
Spider-Man dropped down from the ceiling, carefully untying the ropes wrapped around your hands and feet.
"Are you okay?" the hero asked, helping you stand up with wobbly feet. To your surprise, Spider-Man clutched your chin, forcing you to look at him. In his other hand, he held Riki, to which Riki began snuggling up against his chest. And then, worried words streamed from his lips, in a tone that you knew all too well. "Did he do anything to you? Are you hurt? Can you stand?â"
For a split second, you thought you were going crazy.Â
For a split second, his voice sounded exactly like Sunghoon's: with the same breathiness, the same cadence, and of course, the same exact concern that made your heart melt.
For a split second, you could almost see Sunghoon's thick eyebrows furrowing behind the mask, worry strewn all across his expression.
"Sunghoon?"
Spider-Man froze, going frigid all the while Riki continued to nuzzle his face in his strong chest.
Behind the mask, you could see almost exactly how Sunghoon would bite down on his tongue, his lips parting while his eyes flashed around the room; his nervous tick.
"Sunghoon," you whispered again, this time with a type of desperation that you never knew you had. You could feel your chest pounding, the sound of your heart thrumming against your ribcage filling your ears. "Sunghoon, please."
Please tell me it's you.
Slowly, you reached up to cup Spider-Man's face, and to your surprise, the hero leaned into your touch.
"[Name]," Spider-Man whispered shakily, so low that you could barely hear it.
Hearing it roll off his tongue, that confirmed everything that you needed to know.
Everything crashed down on your shoulders at once. You felt all types of emotionsâconfusion, anger, surprise, shockâ but all of them fell short in the face of the overwhelming urge to throw your arms around his shoulders and feel his warmth.
But before you could, another crash rang through the facility.Â
And there, standing at the doorway was Giganto, in all his spandex glory pointing his Size-inator right at you and Sunghoon.
"Don't you dare move!" his voice boomed.
"S-Sunghâ" you felt a panic course through your veins. But, that panic was replaced by the feeling of strong hands around your waist.
"Don't worry," Sunghoon breathed against the shell of your ear. You could hear the grin in his voice. "I got this."
Everything crashed down on your shoulders at once. You felt all types of emotionsâconfusion, anger, surprise, shockâ but all of them fell short in the face of the overwhelming urge to throw your arms around his shoulders and feel his warmth.
But before you could, another crash rang through the facility.Â
And there, standing at the doorway was Giganto, in all his spandex glory pointing his Size-inator right at you and Sunghoon.
"Don't you dare move!" his voice boomed.
"S-Sunghâ" you felt a panic course through your veins. But, that panic was replaced by the feeling of strong hands around your waist.
"Don't worry," Sunghoon breathed against the shell of your ear. You could hear the grin in his voice. "I got this."
Sunghoon shot a web back up at the ceiling where the opening was.Â
Giganto loaded his shrink ray, and in that moment, you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for what was to come.
Yet, instead of feeling yourself shrink into oblivion, you felt your entire body lift up into the air, before being hoisted back to your feet.
"You don't trust me?" Sunghoon grinned into your ear, his hands still wrapped tightly around you.
You opened your eyes slowly. You were on a rooftop.
"Woah..."
With Riki back in your arms, you looked down to see the vast cityscape below your feet. The dark blue night sky was peppered with white splotches of stars and satellites. The lights were beautiful, so beautiful that you couldn't tear your eyes away from it.
The feeling of Sunghoon's warmth behind you, as well as Riki's little giggles, made you melt.
"W-Where are we?" you asked, your eyes still glued to the view.
"Far," Sunghoon breathed against your ear. Then, he pulled away from you, gently guiding you to a ledge in the inner perimeter of the rooftop. "Far from Giganto."
And as he began to slink away, your eyes widened, reaching out to him instinctively. "Where are you going?"
Sunghoon turned around. He ruffled Riki's hair, then brushed his gloved finger against your cheek.Â
"I need to go fight Giganto," he said simply.
Before you could protest, Sunghoon clutched your chin, making you look at him.
"Well, you said that Spider-Man was useless," you could hear him grin behind the mask. "This is my one time to impress you. I'll beat him up really good, I promise."
His tone was light-hearted, trying to make you smile, yet you only chewed on your lip, looking on hesitantly.Â
"I'll be safe," Sunghoon reassured you, leaning in closer to you.Â
You looked at him with clouded eyes. "Are you sure? What if you get hurt?"
It was funny, how the roles were now reversed: now, it was you worrying about his safety.
"I'm strong," Sunghoon chuckled, flexing his bicep. "The strongest."
You still looked apprehensive, so Sunghoon leaned in even closer, cupping your cheek.
"Don't worry about me," he said lowly, his hands holding you like you were a delicate piece of glass.Â
You swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, sucking in a sharp breath. You nodded your head, almost as if you were trying to convince yourself, before meeting his eyes.
The two of you stared into each other's eyes like that for a few pulses, getting lost in the comfort of each other, a momentary escape from reality.
And then, letting all of your inhibitions run free, you grabbed Sunghoon's masked face, and pressed a right where his lips were. You pulled away quickly, but this time, you had a determined look on your face.
Sunghoon stood there frozen, suddenly dazed as he brought a hand up to cover his mouth, flustered.
"Well?" you grumbled, averting your gaze. "What are you waiting for? Go impress me, Spider-Man."
Sunghoon never turned on his heel and began swinging away any faster.
Sunghoon flushed as he heard you giggling from the other room.
He hated the media, he hated it so much.
But, he had to admit, he was grateful for all the news outlets this one time.
Because truth be told, they caught some pretty badass shots of him kicking Giganto's ass.
Not because Sunghoon personally wanted cool pictures of himself, but because now you and Riki were rewatching clips of the fight in the other room. Riki giggled, exclaiming every other second and clapping his hands cutely, while you cooed not just at his cuteness, but at the way Sunghoon's muscles flexed in each shot.
He had to admit, the camerawork made the fight look a lot more intense than it actually was.
What actually went down was pretty simple.
Giganto made Sunghoon play a game of some sorts, some supervillain version of laser-tag. Sunghoon was going to be in ice-skates, and he was going to have to evade Giganto's Size-inator. The villain chose ice-skating because apparently it was way harder to move around in ice-skates than not. However, he completely forgot two very important facts.
The first one was that Spider-Man was... Well, Spider-Man. Sunghoon's abilities were heightened to the max, so his reflexes and physical capabilities transcended whatever man-made gadget Giganto had.
The second one was that Sunghoon was kickass at ice-skating, all thanks to the many times that he'd gone with you and Riki. There was something about showing off how good he was in front of you, the literal love of his life, that shaped Sunghoon into the absolute pro at ice-skating that he was now.
It's safe to say, Giganto's defeat was pathetic. He was arrested, and his identity was revealed to be some corporate slave trying to reach stardom through criminal activities.
Sunghoon had to force himself to take deep breaths, stifling the stupid grin threatening to spread on his face as he heard you and Riki's giggles.
"Are you guys ready to go?" he poked his head in through the doorway. "Oh wow."
There you were, wearing a pretty dress that hugged your body a little too well. Sunghoon's jaw went slack as his eyes glazed over your figure, gulping audibly as you made your way over to him.
"Hey there, Handsome," you purred, sliding your hands up his chest.
"Hi." No matter how long he's known you, how many times he's seen you in a figure-hugging dress, how many times you've kissed him until he saw stars, Sunghoon felt like putty in your presence.
"I love you in this color," you mused. You were definitely doing it on purpose, running your nails against his arm and getting all touchy.
Sunghoon's mouth felt dry. Was it getting hot it here, or was it just him? "Th-Thank you."
Linking fingers with Sunghoon, you pushed your chest forward and up against his chest.
"You know," you breathed against his neck. You smelled so good, your scent filled Sunghoon's head deliciously. "I've been waiting for tonight all week."
Sunghoon's palms were getting sweaty, goosebumps rising on his skin and the hairs on his neck standing up. "R-Really?"
"Of course," you cooed, before pulling away. You did a little twirl for him, showing off your dress.
"I'm ready," you smiled, your glossy lips moving in a way that made Sunghoon feel light-headed. You looked delicately over your shoulder, bursting out laughing. When Sunghoon peered over your shoulder, he also couldn't help but let chuckles fall from his lips.
"Riki, baby, what are you doing?!"
Riki was dressed up, but poor baby must have been tired, as he was all curled up against the floor, dozing off like nothing else mattered.
Tonight was a family night.
The plan was to go out for dinner as a family, and after, go home and watch a movie. It was a simple plan, but a plan that made Sunghoon all giddy with excitement. Riki wailed a little bit when you two woke him up, but just seeing you and Sunghoon's face made him peaceful in an instant.
Hand-in-hand, you, Sunghoon, and Riki walked off into the night.
And Sunghoon thought, there isn't anything else in the world that he could ask for.
Not when he was able to spend the rest of his life with his little family.
Not when he was head over heels in love with you.
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Obsession- L. HS
âś Heeseung x Fem! Reader
Synopsis- Who knew the shy, sweet boy from high school would change so much over a couple years? When you realized what you had been missing out on, you didnât hesitate to show interest in him. Who knew what he really felt after finally having you to himself?
Word Count: 20k
Warnings: SMUT!! Lots of smut and mature themes in general, controlling parents, toxic relationship, stalker-ish themes, Heeseung and reader are both crazy and obsessive
Smut warnings: Kissing, oral(f&m), dry humping, unprotected sex, public sex, masochism, voyeurism, hair pulling, sadism, squirting, etc. that I forgot, I apologize
A/N: Lots of very dark themes, please donât read if youâre looking for pure vanilla smut bcs this is not the place!! I had many, many ideas for this but decided to take it easy as itâs my first full writing, so look forward to more of my ideas in the future! This was also proofread so many times but Iâm sure there are still a few mistakes I missed, pls ignore them :)
Taglist:
@haelahoops @rayofsunshineeee @wannieepisod @ke4s @jungwonloveer @cyberinnie @tasnim10 @hee-yunie @iamliacamila @bluesoobinnie @sumzysworld @blckvper @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @ladyartemesia @seokseokjinkim
This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!
For once in your life, you felt free.
The moment you came out of your motherâs womb, grumpy and crying, were thrown under constant observation. Every friend you made and every building you stepped foot into was to be researched and evaluated by your parents before you were given their permission to have a social life.
When you were in kindergarten you were accidentally pushed off of the play structure by another student, but stood back up with no serious injuries. However, when your mother picked you up and seen the cuts from the bark on your arm, she demanded you tell her who had hurt you and later requested that the teacher kept you and the boy separated for the rest of the year.
The next day, the same boy introduced himself as Jake and handed you a heart lollipop, asking you to be his valentine. And so you agreed, and you agreed every year after that, until he eventually stopped asking when you both knew the answer would stay the same.
Your mother disapproved of Jake, claiming heâs too mischievous and a bad influence on you. He was both of those things, but he never showed it, which is why you came to the conclusion that your mother just didnât like him simply because heâs a boy. She had to put up with him though, because of your fathers undying love for your friend, claiming him as his âson he never hadâ.
Your friendship with Jake had blossomed since day one, and he was your one and only best friend from that point on, until you both started your freshman year of high school. High school was different; there were different subjects, different sports, different people.
So, when Jake showed up at your front door one day after school with two boys, one on either side of him, your mother slammed the door in their faces and called for you to come downstairs. She dragged you to the window and cracked the blinds open enough for both of you to see through, and then shut them before looking at you with her arms crossed. âExplainâ she spat out and your eyes widened as you shook your head. âI donât know them ma, I swear!â You put your hands up defensively and then she rolled her eyes before peeking through the blinds again.
She let out an unbelieving âmhmâ and you threw your arms in the air. âI promise! Theyâre probably just Jakeâs friends, heâs a guy and he needs to have other guy friends too, you would know.â You hissed the last phrase at her and you could see her jaw clench before she turned to you again. âDonât use that tone with me.â She remained calm while she spoke but youâre sure if you looked hard enough you could see the steam coming from her ears.
âIâm just sayingâ you started speaking before plopping yourself on the couch just below the window, âYou always say I shouldnât be friends with boys, especially the ones like Jake. So maybe he made new friends that are like him.â You looked at your mother as if waiting for her validation, but she just kept her eyes on the boys. You joined her again and appreciated the fact that they didnât give up and leave, which was probably Jakeâs idea considering he was standing with his arms crossed and staring straight into the door.
Before you could try to convince her more, your father was pulling up in the drive way, honking when he noticed the kids at his front door and you tried not to giggle when the three boys jumped and whipped their heads around. You seen Jake slightly relax at the sight of your dad walking up to them with his keys in his hand, and he was eventually unlocking the front door and letting them inside.
Your mother huffed before your father was pulling her into a nearby room and you heard him harshly scold her for being so immature. Outside of the room, Jake was squeezing you half to death in a tight hug, before letting go and whispering an apology for bringing two strangers along with him. âThis is Jayâ he turned to the boy on his left and put an arm around his shoulder, âand this is Sunghoonâ he swung his other arm over the other boyâs shoulder, but had tilted slightly upwards due to the height difference.
You held your hand out and greeted both boys, looking them in the eyes and noting how Sunghoon was quick to avoid eye contact, instead looking at the floor. Jay on the other hand, was confident in himself and gave you a little smirk as you smiled at him. He had low, lazy looking eyes, but his smirk was sharp and showed off his dimple nicely. Sunghoon was shy, but he was nonetheless gorgeous and had the most beautiful eyebrows youâd ever seen. You were also quite fond of his dimpled smile, which shows his sharp canine teeth that resemble vampire fangs.
From that day on, Jay and Sunghoon were added to your friend group and were soon considered your best friends, along with Jake of course. Jake was your number one from the start and you will always see him as that, trusting him the most with your life.
So, when you were both 16 and upset that you hadnât had your first kiss yet, you let Jake take that title as he kissed you behind the school after you had asked. He was pretty inexperienced himself, but being handsome from an early age allowed him to kiss a few girls in his life before having the pleasure of kissing you. This didnât change anything in your relationship, staying as friends and promising to never cross that line.
Even if there were no strings attached, the kiss ignited something inside of you, having you crave more and more until you were satisfied. For the rest of your high school experienced, you had experimented relationships with a few people, even going as far as kissing other girls, but realizing you liked the spark you got from being with a man.
âś.
Your best friends were by your side throughout everything, giggling along with you while you talked about a new boyfriend, or supporting you when you wanted to egg the same guyâs car after he cheated on you. The boys were by your side when you fought with your mom about moving away for college, even helping you move into your apartment when you did. They were even by your side the day you started your third year of college and you had gotten accused of sleeping with another girlâs boyfriend at a party. But instead of encouraging you to fight her when she started putting her hair up, Jay had thrown a cockroach at her, resulting in the four of you running into a random classroom to hide.
âSeriously though, who even tries to start a physical fight anymore, weâre too old for that.â Jay was shaking his head and laughing through his sentence like it was the funniest thing he ever experienced. âWho throws bugs at other people!?â Sunghoon smacks Jay in the back of the head before speaking again, âWeâre too old for that too!â Sunghoonâs voice sounds horse like heâs really stressing the situation as if heâs so mature himself.
âOh come on!â Jake is speaking now, adding a whine to his voice, âDonât act like you didnât put that snake in a can prank in Heeseungâs backpack last year!â His recollection causes everyone to burst out laughing, and you try your best to laugh along despite your lack of knowledge of the situation.
âRight! Who could forget!â A fifth voice pulls you out of your thoughts as the five of you go quiet, slowly turning around to find where the voice was coming from. Your eyes widen as you mentally facepalm for not looking around the room before entering.
âOh! Whatâs up Heeseung?â Jake is greeting him before you can even register who the boy a few feet away from you is. Heeseung sighs before walking up a few steps, âHi Jakeâ he shifts his focus, âJayâŚSunghoonâ he gives a glance towards the other two before locking eyes with you. âY/Nâ he says lowly as if he held anger behind his voice.
You donât understand why he would be angry at you. Perhaps itâs the fact that you stumbled into a random classroom, and maybe heâs busy with something that you interrupted. But with the way heâs looking at you, it feels deeper than your understanding.
âHeeseung! Hi!â You smiled softly at him, trying your best to not sound intimidated despite your breathy voice. âItâs been a while, huh?â You try making small talk and you hear Jay snicker next to you.
âItâs been three years.â Heeseung sounds snarky as he walks up the last few steps with his hands in his hoodie pocket and finally stands across from all four of you. âRightâŚthree years.â you nod your head and you hear Sunghoon clear his throat, âLook Heeseung, weâre not trying to start anything, and I apologize for what I pulled last year.â Sunghoon defends himself, standing up straighter as if heâs sizing up towards Heeseung.
A few silent seconds pass before Heeseung is throwing his head back and bursting out in laughter. The three boys around you all exchange quick glances before Heeseung is running a hand through his hair and speaking again, âYou guys are too funny.â He takes one long step over, sticking out his hand like heâs offering it to Jake.
You look at Jake from next to him, watching as he swallows dryly while looking at Heeseungâs extended hand. You nudge his opposite arm slightly and he breaks his gaze, looking at you before looking at Heeseungâs face, which is now settled with a small smirk. You nudge him harder in hopes that heâll take the hint, and he eventually does considering heâs quick to pull his hand out from his own pocket and dabs Heeseung up, a loud clapping sound following.
âRelax, Simâ Heeseung says lowly this time and you hear the rasp in his voice. Jake lets out an awkward giggle and retracts his hand, wiping the sweat off onto his thigh, âWhat are you doing in here anyways?â Heeseung looks around the room before turning back to your friend group, âWell, I wanted to get to know the location of my class before it started.â He raises a questioning eyebrow, âIâd assume you all were too if I hadnât overheard your conversation.â Heeseung laughs to himself and you suddenly remember that you hadnât found your class yet. âOh! Thatâs right! Well I guess we should probably get going then.â You sweetly smile at Heeseung and the boys next to you all let out sounds of realization when they remember they still need to find their classes also.
âWhat classes do you guys have?â Heeseung sits atop one of the desks and you wait for the boys to speak up, but instead theyâre all searching for their schedule on their phones. âUmâŚI have intro to music prouction.â You sound confident this time, but slowly loose the confidence once you see how deeply Heeseung is staring at you. âOh! Me too!â Sunghoon smiles brightly and wraps an arm around your waist, which doesnât go unnoticed by Heeseung. âHey! Me three! Letâs go!â Jake flexes an arm proudly while patting Sunghoon on the back. âWell, looks like we all have it together!â Jay suddenly says and joins your circle of cheers.
Heeseung watches from the table heâs sitting on, noting how close you and the boys seem. Of course youâre close, you have been since youâve met, but Heeseung still canât help the feeling of jealousy he senses deep in his stomach.
âI guess we should go look for the room then.â Jake releases from the group and heads for the classroom door until Heeseung is speaking up again. âNo needâ he states simply and you all turn to look at him for the nth time. âThis is the intro to music production room.â He says with a shrug, looking around the room. You again feel the need to mentally face palm as you failed to notice the set up of the classroom, but also feel thankful that you hadnât knocked over any important and expensive equipment.
You all stand awkwardly for a few seconds until the bell suddenly rings and Jake lets out a small yelp. You giggle at him and you can see Heeseungâs jaw clench as he quickly stands up and then sits down at the same tableâs seat. You glance around the classroom, too uncomfortable to sit anywhere but not sure if it would make Heeseung uncomfortable to sit next to him. Before you could make a decision Jake is pulling you into the seat next to Heeseung, and then sitting next to you with Sunghoon and Jay following.
You glare at Jake and he gives you big puppy eyes and juts out his bottom lip, pouting as an apology. You roll your eyes and stare back towards the front of the class, trying your best to focus on the people filling up the seats while Heeseung is looking at you through his peripheral vision. âSo,â Jayâs voice startles you and you feel your knee bump Heeseungâs, but heâs quick to place a hand on it to keep you from moving further. You look down at his hand before looking up at him through your eyelashes, then quickly turn your attention towards Jay when heâs talking again.
âHeeseung, um, I didnât know you take music production classes.â Jake and Sunghoon hum in agreement and youâre wondering how long itâs been since they had last seen him. âYou didâ Heeseung is quick to spit out, almost annoyed. âWhen you put the snake can in my backpack? That was in our ethnomusicology class.â He pauses and you can almost see a hurt look in his eye as he looks past you and towards your friends. âAnd the year before that was when we all had music theory together.â You widen your eyes at the realization that your friends are either very dumb, or very self absorbed to not notice him before. Possibly both.
âOh right!â Jake snaps his fingers and points at Heeseung with a big smile on his face. âI remember now! Such fun classes.â He hums the last part as if heâs missing them while Heeseung seems to be feeling the quite opposite. He squeezes your knee with his hand that you forgot was touching you, and you look up at him with big eyes. This seems to calm him as he rubs light circles with his thumb before pulling his hand away and into his lap.
As if on que, the professor walks in and greets the class, introducing himself and starting a long synopsis of the course, and you soon find yourself forgetting all about the new yet old peer next to you.
âś.
You wouldnât consider Heeseung as an old friend. In fact, youâre not sure he even has any real friends. Of course he has the occasional book worms that you would see him studying with in high school. However, that was years ago, and you just seeing him again now.
Which is why youâre now pushing the back of Jakeâs head when you walk behind him as heâs relaxing on your couch, questioning why he never told you how much Heeseung had changed.
âBecause? I didnât think youâd care?â He looks at you in confusion as you lay on the couch next to him, throwing your legs across his lap and he places his arms behind his head. âYou donât think Iâd care about how hot he is?â You scoff and Jake just shrugs while looking up at your ceiling.
You look towards Sunghoon and Jay who were raiding your fridge, then pausing like they were caught committing a crime. âHey donât look at us!â Sunghoon hissed before he turns and opens up your microwave, putting what you can assume is a bowl of ramen inside. âYeah donât look at usâ Jay speaks in between taking sips of your two liter of coke, âWeâre not your new eye candyâ he teases and you roll your eyes, looking away and back towards Jake.
âIâm just saying guys,â you throw your arms in the air like youâre trying to make a point. âLast I seen he was a nerd with big round glasses and ears too big for his head,â you almost catch yourself smiling before youâre talking again, âand now? He has nice hair and the height of the green giant?â You hear Jake laugh and you watch as he picks his head back up and places his hands on your legs. âTrust me Y/N,â Jake shakes his head, âHeâs still as much of a pathetic nerd as he always has been, he was just trying to act tough in front of you.â He lightly pokes your legs and you wiggle them away until youâre sitting up next to him.
âWell you know I do like pathetic men.â You smile to yourself, not even the slightest ashamed of your enjoyment of corrupting cute boys. âBut why would he try to act tough for me?â You furrow your brows at Jake and he pressed his lips into a line like heâs disappointed in your question. âAre you serious?â Sunghoon is yelling from the kitchen this time, âHe has like the biggest crush on you!â Heâs crossing his arm and tapping his foot like a disappointed father, much like Jake.
You shake your head and laugh loudly, âThat was in high school! I doubt he still does.â You try your best to sound sure of yourself, but the last sentence comes out quiet. âBullshitâ Jake slaps your thigh and you glare at him as he pokes your head. âYou didnât see the way he was looking at you earlier?â You shake your head and slap his arm away and he scoffs. âSo obliviousâ you frown at him while heâs talking about you as if heâs not talking to you. âPlusâ he starts again and raises his eyebrows in a flirty way, âHeâs been asking about you for the past two years, trying to figure out if heâd have a class with you nâ shit.â Jake shrugs and you scold him for not telling you before.
âWhat? So you like him all of a sudden?â Jay sinks into the couch next to you and extends an arm across the back, encasing you next to him. âJust because heâs cute now?â He kissed his teeth and shakes his head as if heâs disapproving. âHeâs always been cute, just in a different way.â you start off but youâre quickly interrupted by shocked gasps from the three boys and a loud crash from the kitchen.
The three of you turn on the couch to see Sunghoon standing in the kitchen entrance with a bowl of ramen in one hand and the other hand clutching his chest, mouth agape in shock. âYou did not just say that.â He whispers breathily like heâs just been told life changing news. âAnd you did not just break one of my favorite glasses.â You give him an offended look and point a finger at him, then towards your now shattered glass cup on the floor. âYouâre cleaning that up and buying me a new one.â You quirk an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, setting down his ramen before bending down to pick up the fallen glass. You tried your best to ignore the fake groans he lets out as if heâs too old and fragile to bend.
âAnywaysâ Jake claps his hands, âIâm taking a nap! You guys can either join me or stay awake and not break anything so she doesnât kick us out.â You turn back towards Sunghoon to see him at the trashcan now, flipping Jake off without looking in your direction. Jake only makes it to standing for a second before youâre pulling him back down by his belt loops, resulting in him landing back onto the couch with a huff.
âNo.â You simply state and poke his chest, âYouâre gonna sit here and explain to me what prank on Heeseung you guys were talking about.â You cross your arms and Jake just whines and sinks himself into the couch more. âItâs nothing really.â Sunghoon sits on the floor in front of the three of you, now slurping his bowl of ramen. âYou donât get a say in if itâs ânothingâ or not.â You narrow your eyes at the boy and he breaks eye contact with you to stir his ramen.
âSeriously Y/Nâ Jay puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you to look at him, âWe had bought one of those fake cans that have snakes that pop out, and Hoon was showing it to us. When he went to put it back, Heeseungâs backpack just happened to be the closest to Hoon at the time so he mistook it as his.â Jay tries to reassure you but you just sink yourself into the couch, the same as Jake. âWas funny as fuck though.â Sunghoon was adding on, almost choking on his ramen as he laughed.
You know theyâre not lying to you, youâve grown up with these boys basically your whole life and you know theyâd never intentionally bully someone. Youâre not sure why you care so much about Heeseung all of a sudden, and as if he could read your mind, Sunghoon is speaking up. âDonât tell me youâre thinking about him like that.â He stands up and walks to the kitchen, making an audible tsk noise.
You sigh and tap your fingers against the couch, deep in thought. The last time you had really spoken to Heeseung he had fluffy, unstyled hair, and wore cute sweaters that he always looked so cozy in. His eyes were big and round, and sparkled no matter how dark it was. He also had cute pink lips with a pretty Cupidâs bow that pulled into a pretty smile. âI guess I am.â You sat up from the couch and Jake made a noise like you had woken him up suddenly. You turn to look at him and he widens his eyes, âI heard everything I promise! You were talking about how much you wanted to kiss Heeseung~.â He teases the last sentence like a middle school girl teasing you for having a crush.
You pushed his shoulder slightly and stood up from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. âWhatever, Iâm also going to take a nap so donât break anything!â You called out while walking up the stairs, hearing an offended scoff come from Sunghoon.
âś
You expected to show up to a frat party on the first Friday night of the semester and get black out drunk for the first time in a while. You didnât expect to see Heeseung there as well. He was there though, surprisingly not standing out, but not quite fitting in either.
He was making his way towards the corner of the room, and thatâs when you realized maybe he hadnât changed too much. Since the first day you met him, he was always backed up into a random corner of any room, eyes wide and shoulders tense. However, now he looks slightly more comfortable, but not at ease.
Jay throws an arm around your shoulder, annoyingly pulling you close and you can already smell the alcohol on his breath despite just walking into the house 30 seconds ago. âWhat a surprise.â He says with raised eyebrows that quickly fall when he takes another sip out of the questionable cup he grabbed.
You face him and grab the cup out of his hands, setting it down on a shelf close to you. âYou sicko! Where did you get this? You donât even know whatâs in it.â Jay shrugs at your words and respectably burps away from your face before replying, âSomething with Rum. I know my baby when I taste it.â He giggles to himself and you scrunch your nose and try to push him off of you, giving up after realizing heâs somehow stronger when heâs intoxicated.
âCheck it out.â You hear Jay lowly mumble into your ear, causing you to follow his gaze back towards Heeseung. This time, heâs talking to a girl with a bored expression on his face. You can hear the girl scoff offendedly before throwing her drink all over Heeseungâs shirt, walking away with a disgusted look on her face. âOhâŚshit.â Jayâs voice drops and he seems to sober up slightly. âWhat the fuck?â You turn to look at Jay and he just shrugs at you, going back to grab his mixture of rum and mystery juice.
Before he can stop you, youâre breaking away from him and mumbling, âGo back with the boys, Iâll make sure heâs okay.â and then following Heeseung who is now making his way out of the kitchen and upstairs.
You find him in a bathroom attempting to soak up the alcohol with a bath towel, groaning when he realizes itâs not working. You knock softly on the open door and he looks up to make eye contact with you in the mirror, eyes wide and you catch a glimpse of the old Heeseung you use to know. âHeyâ you greet him with a soft smile, like youâre trying to prove youâre not a threat, âI seen what happened and I just wanted to make sure youâre okay.â He nods slowly and moves slightly to let you inside of the bathroom with him.
âMâ fine. Sheâs just mad I rejected herâ His words are mumbled as he keeps dabbing the towel on his shirt, âIâll just change.â You furrow your eyebrows and he looks up to see your confused face, smiling at what he thinks is a cute reaction. âThis is my house.â He reassures you and your eyes widen as you sit on top of the closed toilet, leaning your arm on the sink and placing your chin in your palm. The new angle has Heeseung avoiding eye contact and you smile to yourself at the realization that maybe your friends were right about his never ending crush on you.
âItâs a pretty house.â You say softly and he nods his head. âYou live alone?â You think that this might be the most words youâve ever directly spoken to Heeseung. He shakes his head, seemingly more shy and less verbal than he was the other day. âYou donât have to act tough in front of me you know.â You quirk an eyebrow and he pauses his movements, mentally cursing at himself when he realizes that you had caught on. âYou donât have to act cool.â Youâre tapping your nails on the sink and before he can respond youâre speaking again. âI think youâre already cool.â You smile seeing his eyes widen before he clears his throat.
âUm, thank you? OrâŚI donât know how to respond to that.â You giggle at his reaction, standing up and now staring at yourself in the mirror. You try not to move your gaze from where youâre fixing your hair, but seeing Heeseungâs doe eyes also watching you through the mirror makes your stomach flip. You see his mouth open before he closes it again, then open a second time as he starts speaking, âDo you wanna help me pick out a new shirt to wear? Not that I care what you think but- well I do care but I donât-â âSure, Heeâ you cut him off and he relaxes at your answer, nodding before he leads you out of the bathroom and down the hall to his own room.
As you pass the stairs, you see your three friends pause on the middle step and their jaws drop at the sight of you following Heeseung to his room. You bite your bottom lip to hold back your smile and you widen your eyes in a way to acknowledge that you know what theyâre thinking.
The first step into Heeseungâs room is surprisingly refreshing, and not filled with the scent of a man in his early 20s. Instead, it smells almost warm yet fruity and sets you into a comfortable mood. You sit on the edge of his bed and watch as he opens his closet, shuffling through an array of different colored shirts. He grabs a light blue short sleeve and holds it up against himself, turning to see your reaction. You scrunch your nose and shake your head, telling him it doesnât match the color of his cargo pants.
He models a few more shirts before landing on a black long sleeve, tilting his head to the side as he watches your reaction. You smile softly and nod your head, imaging how handsome heâd look in such a simple yet fitting shirt. He walks towards the bed before looking at you and then quickly looking away.
âCan you like, turn around or something?â He speaks softly, not wanting to hurt your feelings. You flash a pretty smile at him before poking his side. âWhy? You shy?â You tease and heâs quick to shake his head and before you can tell him youâre kidding, heâs pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it on the bed next to you.
Your jaw goes slack and you analyze every part of Heeseungâs torso, too shocked to care if he catches you staring. Heâs slim but well defined, with a broad chest and wide shoulders. His body is definitely more mature, but his face as he watches you check him out is the same as it always has been. His big doe eyes watch shyly and his pretty lips softly frown when you stare for too long, quickly getting insecure when he thinks maybe youâre judging him.
Heâs quick to throw the new shirt on and you donât miss how he suddenly caves in on himself, apologizing for being too comfortable. âNo, Heeseung donât apologize.â You swollow dryly, still in shock. âYouâre beautiful.â You watch as his ears slightly turn pink and he fights to keep a shy smile off of his lips. You grab his hand so he looks at you and you pat the bed next to you, giggling as he stumbles onto the bed.
âYou should be more confident in yourself.â You speak quietly as you play with his fingers of the hand that youâre still holding. âI mean it. Youâre beautiful and you donât need to try hard to show it.â Your words make him slightly perk up, feeling his ego inflate a bit. âWish you couldâve told me that sooner.â This time heâs the one speaking quietly while heâs looking at your intertwined fingers. âWhat?â You ask but heâs quick to shake his head like he regrets what he said.
You bring your free hand up to his face, softly cupping his cheek as he looks at you with almost guilt filled eyes. Just as youâre about to ask him to elaborate, a loud pounding shakes his bedroom door that you didnât even realize he had closed and locked, and heâs quick to stand up and open it. Sunghoon almost falls into the room as the door opens, being forcefully pushed by Jay who is holding a very drunk Jake.
âMy apologies lovebirds.â Sunghoon sounds out of breath, seeming as if he maybe had to help Jay carry the body of your other limp friend upstairs. âJake is already fucked and throwing up everywhere. We got him to the bathroom but he threw up in one of the plant pots in the living room before we could.â
Heeseung sighs and runs a hand through his hair, âIâll have one of my roommates clean that. Thanks for letting me know though.â Sunghoon gives him a quick nod before turning to you and motioning his head towards the door this time. You try not to look disappointed as you get up from the bed and make your way to the doorway. Before you step out, you turn around and plant a quick kiss on Heeseungâs cheek, watching as he stands there stunned before you turn to help carry your friend down the stairs.
âś
You sat with your chin in your palm, staring at the side of Heeseungâs face similarly to the way you did at the party. You could tell he was trying hard to pretend like heâs focusing on what the professor was saying, but you knew his mind was running a mile a minute.
After the party, you couldnât help but feel excited for the next time youâd see Heeseung, giggling to yourself at night over how cute he looked when he was flustered. Your friends begged you to tell them what had happened when you were alone, and begged harder to know how good he was in bed. You swore on Sunghoonâs life that nothing had happened, which resulted in Sunghoon playing dead after âhaving a heart attackâ.
You somewhat wished that you could answer them, imagining what wouldâve happened if they hadnât interrupted your almost intimate moment with Heeseung. Your eyes grazed over his face, stopping at his lips. Your stomach tingled as you thought of how close you were to kissing him, how innocently he looked at you while you held his face. The urge to be close to him again took over, and you almost subconsciously shifted your foot to rub against his own.
You watched as he stopped breathing for a second, then swallowed harshly which dropped your attention down to his Adamâs apple. The way it bobbed every time he spoke or swallowed made your mouth water, wanting to lean over and take a bite out of his neck. Youâre so lost in thought you almost didnât hear him whisper out to you.
âS-stop staring at me.â He tries to sound stern but stutters and gives up, shaking his head in disappointment in himself. His reaction is cute to you, and you canât help but reach out and poke his round cheek. âCanât help it, youâre too cute.â He blushes lightly and before you can retract your hand fully, heâs grabbing it and intertwining his fingers with yours, then dropping both of your hands into his lap.
Even if itâs not an intimate gesture, the idea of being so close to Heeseung in a public setting has you craving more. Youâve barely gotten to know him but heâs already addicting, and you wonder if he feels the same way towards you. You move your pinky thatâs trapped between your hands and his thigh, and you notice how his body stiffens at the most innocent touch. You love the feeling of control you have over him, wanting-needing more.
You rub your pinky against his leg a few more times before letting go of his hand, and instead grabbing his thigh. He lets out a squeak-like noise, eyes widening as he sees Jake peek around from the other side of you, raising an eyebrow before smirking and nudging your side. You nudge him back and tell him to focus, all while rubbing your hand up and down Heeseungâs thigh, occasionally squeezing it lightly. The sight of him breathing heavily makes you squeeze your own thighs together, suddenly feeling very aroused by the shy boy next to you.
You struggle to pay attention for the rest of the class, tuning in when the professor brings up the first major assignment and then tuning back out when he starts talking about his failed marriage. Most of your brain capacity is taken over by the thought of Heeseung, getting giddy over the idea of him simply existing as if heâs not sitting next to you.
You hear Jake audibly groan when class is dismissed, muttering about how sore his neck ended up after Jay fell asleep on his shoulder. As your group walks down the stone pathway Sunghoon takes this opportunity to âmassageâ Jakeâs neck, when in reality, a massage from Sunghoon means he tries to painfully poke his slim fingers into your pressure points.
Jake thrashes around as an attempt to get away from Sunghoonâs fingers, bumping into Jay who then bumps into you, causing you to fall backwards and into Heeseung. You collapse on top of him, pushing the both of you over and landing on his lap like a scene you from a clichĂŠ romance movie. âWoah guys!â Jay yells out, covering his eyes as if heâs so bothered by a position heâs in every other night. âGet a room horn dogs.â You just roll your eyes and stand up, reaching your hand out for Heeseung to grab.
As soon as heâs up, heâs quickly turning away and avoiding eye contact. You go to tease his shy behavior until you spot the bulge below his belt which he does a terrible job at hiding. âOh dude.â Jay is trying not to sound amused, but the way Heeseung bites his lip looks all too much like heâs about to cry. You lean over to Jay and tell him and the boys to keep walking back to your apartment while you attempt to talk to Heeseung.
You softly grab the loose fabric of his hoodie sleeve and turn him to face you, stopping him from walking further but frown when he ends up staring straight at the ground. âHey, Hee.â You cup his cheek softly like you did the other night and he leans his head into your palm.
You take this as a sign of comfort and slide your hand to his chin, grabbing it lightly and forcing him to look at you. âItâs fine baby, donât worry about that.â His eyes widen at the nickname and he suddenly feels hot under your touch. âWeâre just gonna go back to my apartment. Then maybe I can help you out there, is that okay?â He nods in response and thatâs all the reassurance you need to grab his hand and speed walk home.
âś
The second you stepped foot into your house, you yelled for the guys to make themselves comfortable as if they didnât practically live there with how often they were over, and dragged Heeseung to the kitchen. âYou need water? Hungry?â You rummage through your fridge, wanting to take care of Heeseung first and foremost. He just shakes his head, nervous eyes darting around your house as he takes in the new unfamiliar area.
âDonât need anything?â You ask now sipping out of a water bottle and placing it on the counter next to you. âNoâ Heeseungâs voice shakes, âJust need you.â He drops his head and you do the same, eyes landing right on his still painful hard-on. You look back up and he quickly looks away, and you realize you may never be able to make eye contact with him but making him flustered will always make you smile.
Taking his hand you lead Heeseung up to your bedroom, not even sparing a glance towards your friends as you hear them cheering and hollering behind your back. The way Heeseungâs hand feels hot and sweaty tells you that he definitely doesnât have much experience, and it seems to arouse you more knowing he probably doesnât have much to compare you to.
You open your bedroom door, pulling Heeseung inside before closing it and twisting the lock. You turn around to see Heeseung standing awkwardly, hands playing with each other as he looks at you shyly. Walking up to him, you grab both of his hands and look directly into his eyes and this time he doesnât try to look away. âIf anything makes you uncomfortable you can tell me, mkay?â You speak softly and he takes a deep breath hearing how gentle youâre being with him.
You bring him to sit on the side of your bed and sit next to him as you cup his cheek, a familiar position but in a different setting this time. âHave you ever kissed anyone?â You ask and you see the way his eyes flicker down to your lips before they find their way back to your eyes. âNoâŚbut I know you have.â His words make you feel a slight pang of guilt in your heart like you shouldâve known youâd eventually end up with him.
âThe boys told me about your little crush on me.â His eyes widen but he doesnât deny it and you smile before shifting your touch on his face and using your thumb to gently play with his bottom lip. âDonât worryâ you move your hand to play with the hair on the nape of his neck and lean in close enough for your noses to touch. You can feel his lips brush yours when you speak again. âI think itâs cute.â You purr and gently close the gap between the two of you.
The first kiss lasts a few seconds before you pull away to check on him, but to your surprise he was pouncing back into you and kissing you harshly before you could say anything. You giggle against his lips and grab his shoulders forcing him off of you and he whines at the loss of contact. âGentle, we donât have to rush.â He immediately slumps into himself and you take this as an opportunity to push him down onto your bed.
You straddle his hips and smile down at him while he looks up at you with eyes already glossed over and hazy. You lean down, slotting his bottom lip between yours and gently sucking on it. He whines and both of his hands tightly grip your hips while yours land on his chest. He seems to pick up the idea of kissing easily, slightly speeding up excitedly when you quietly moan into the kiss.
You swipe your tongue across his lip and he parts his lips slightly, which allows your tongue to snake in while his does the same and you finally taste him. He lets out a loud moan and quickly pulls back like he didnât mean to let it slip but you just pull him back in with a harsh grab of his hair. He moans into your mouth again but this time you feel his hands rocking your hips against his and thatâs when you remember how hard he was and how badly he must be waiting for release.
âLet me take care of you, Hee.â You pull away from the kiss and he nods rapidly as if heâs been waiting for you to offer. You dip your head into his neck and gently suck and nip at the warm skin, trailing your lips down towards his collarbone as you hear another soft moan escape. You slide off of him and down onto your knees between his legs, tapping one so he gets the hint to let you between them.
He slowly opens his legs just enough for you to fit between and sits up to watch when you start unbuckling his belt. He sighs when you finally take it off and rub your hands on his thighs comfortingly before making your way towards the button on his jeans. You look up at him before unzipping them, looking for any signs of discomfort but all youâre met with is the sight of his bright pink cheeks and dilated pupils.
As soon as you get his jeans off of him you attach your lips to his bare thighs, peppering light kisses trailing from his knees to the hem of his boxers. You reach up to palm his hard-on and when your hand makes contact with him through his underwear, he lets out a whimper that shoots right to your core.
His hips buck into your hand impatiently and he goes to apologize when youâre suddenly grabbing his waistband and pulling his boxers down. He lifts his hips to help you get them down his legs, his cock springing up and catching your attention. Heâs big and you donât know why youâre so surprised considering how big the rest of him is.
He catches you staring for too long and suddenly covers himself up with his hands. âIs it okay?â Heâs asking hesitantly and you instantly coo at how cute he is. âSo pretty.â You hum and pull his hands away, placing them on the back of your head instead. He takes the hint and threads his fingers through your hair and tugs softly.
You place one hand on his thigh to steady yourself and softly grab his cock with the other, stroking him slightly before using your thumb to smear his precum across his tip. His hips buck into your hand again and you kiss your teeth and smile up at him. âLook at you.â You kiss the base of his cock before trailing kisses up until you reach his tip, kissing it even softer and licking the precum off of your lips. âTaste so good.â Your words seem to affect him strongly as he throws his head back and lets out a breathy whine.
âPlease, Y/N, Please.â Youâre not exactly sure what heâs begging for but you take it as encouragement to finally press your tongue flat against his tip, then guide yourself down to take more of him into your mouth. âOh God .â Heâs moaning louder this time and you know for sure that your friends can hear him from downstairs.
You pull off of him before immediately sinking back down, taking all of him in your mouth this time. The feeling of him sliding down your throat makes you moan around him and you feel his body jerk at the new sense of stimulation. You bob your head and feel the way his fingers tighten the grip he has on your hair, more moans and whimpers slipping from his lips.
Each sound he makes arouses you more and you donât even realize that youâve positioned yourself over his foot before youâre grinding down, moaning at the contact between his foot and your core. He opens his eyes and looks down at you in shock, not realizing how arousing the view from above was. The angle gives him access from the top of your head to your butt, watching how your seducing eyes flutter closed when you take him down your throat and the way your hips move fluidly while you grind down onto his foot.
You open your eyes and pull off of him, jerking him in your hand, eyes wide as you watch his brows furrow with flushed cheeks and his breathing turns uneven. âD-donât look at me like that.â He sounds so close and you know heâs trying to hold back and impress you by not cumming too fast. âYou sound so sexy.â You swirl your tongue around his tip while keeping eye contact with him. âFuck.â Heâs breathing harder and you know heâs seconds away from finishing.
âYou going to cum for me baby?â The nickname pushes him right over the edge as he takes one last deep breath before letting out the sweetest whine, and you take the opportunity to take him back into your mouth, just in time to feel his cum spurting down your throat. You continue to suck until heâs lifting you off of him by your hair, and your mouth leaves his cock with an audible pop.
You lick any remaining release from your lips and make your way to stand up as he tucks himself back into his boxers and slide his jeans back up his legs. When he finishes buttoning them youâre climbing back onto his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.
You kiss him softly, half surprised by the fact that he let you as if he didnât care that you just had him finish in your mouth, and half aroused at the same time. âYou did so good, Hee.â You praise him as you pull away and you donât miss the way he still blushes at your compliments. âWhat about you?â He whispers against your lips and you give him a quick peck before pulling away to cup his face. âWhat about me?â You ask and he looks down at his lap and mumbles almost too quietly for you to hear. âWanna make you feel good too.â Your heart warms at his words and you shake your head in response before kissing him again. âTaking care of you is enough for me, donât worry about that.â Your voice is stern but caring and he nods before tucking his face in your your neck.
âI could go for a nap, you wanna join me?â You pick his face up and kiss the tip of his nose and he nods, letting you climb off of his lap and into your bed, then lays next to you as you tuck yourself into the sheets.
You turn to your side and he lays behind you, pulling you close with his arms wrapped around you, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Your breathing syncs with each otherâs and you soon hear his soft snores coming from behind you, and you smile to yourself, wishing you could stay like this forever.
âś
The first thing you notice when you wake up is that itâs cold. Your bed is no longer kept warm from the heat of Heeseungâs body against yours, and your heart breaks a little at the idea of him leaving you already.
Youâre not usually the type of person to keep contact after a hookup, but something about your relationship with Heeseung feels different. Even through the little time youâve gotten to know each other, you feel like itâs been years- like the years you couldâve gotten to know Heeseung in if it werenât for conflicting schedules.
Making your way downstairs you can hear your friendsâ voices chatting away until they hear your heavy, sleepy footsteps. Rounding the corner, you find all three boys in the kitchen with Jay cooking ramen while Sunghoon and Jake sit at the table sipping on bottles of beer.
âWell good morning sleeping beauty.â Jay pats your shoulder as you grunt in response, opening the fridge and taking a long sip of cold water. âItâs like 5pm.â You rasp out as you take a seat sitting next to your friends. âItâs 8pm.â Sunghoon chuckles before taking a swig of his beer and turning to you, smoothing out your bedhead.
âWhat!?â Your eyes widen and you look around frantically before Sunghoon places his hand atop yours, pulling your attention back to him. âRelax, Heeseung left not too long ago- said he had something to get back to at home.â The three boys could see your frown forming and noticed the your eyes stayed glued to the table.
âDonât worry, he left this.â Jake slaps a sticky note on the table in front of you, winking before getting up and grabbing another beer. You examine the sticky note and your jaw drops into a long âOâ shape. âHe gave me his number!?â You squeal and almost jump from your seat, knocking your knees against Sunghoonâs.
âGod, how are you so hyper after waking up.â He says it more as a statement than a question and you just give him a sarcastic smile before turning towards Jake instead. âWhere did he leave it? Because I know he wouldnât just leave it on the table for anyone to see.â You narrow your eyes at Jake in suspicion and he quickly darts his eyes away nervously.
âJake.â You say his name sternly and you notice how he tenses and takes another sip of beer. âJake were you snooping again?â You barely get your sentence out as heâs already defending himself. âI wasnât I swear! When he left I went in your room to check on you and make sure you were okay andâŚclothed.â
Your face morphs into a confused disgust, âPervert! Why would you care if I had clothes on or not!?â His mouth opens in shock as he shakes his head rapidly. âGod, Y/N donât make me say it!â Heâs suddenly covering his face to hide his embarrassment while youâre sent into deeper confusion. âSay what!?â Youâre standing up and hovering over the table, irritated at how difficult Jake is being.
âI wanted to make sure he didnât just up and leave after fucking you! I wanted to make sure you actually had proper aftercare and he didnât just cum and go!â Jake is slamming his hands on the table and you hear Sunghoon snicker beside you at the pun Jake may or may not have realized he used.
âWhat? Why would he do that?â Youâre lowering your voice this time and it cracks softly while you speak. Jake sighs and taps his fingertips against the glass of his beer bottle. âBecause every time youâre actually interested in a guy-more than just hookup, youâre left hurt when they leave not wanting more.â Heâs making eye contact with you now and you slowly sit back down.
âWellâ you start speaking but your voice comes out soft and weary. âHow do you know that I want more than a hookup with him?â You immediately regret asking, knowing well that the boys can see right through you. âYou wouldnât just give a random hookup a blowjob and not expect anything in return.â Jake is giving you a âduhâ face and you just gasp in shock.
âHe told you!?â Youâre perking up in your seat and you see Sunghoon cover his ears when you yell. âAre you never not yelling?â Sunghoon is wincing at his now ringing ears and you just mumble an apology before turning your attention back to Jake. âMore like he forced the poor guy to confess.â Jay is setting the fresh ramen on the table and you roll your eyes at his response.
âDonât tell me you threatened him.â Jake shakes his head with an offended look on his face. âOf course not! I was going to but I could see how shy he looked. He just told me you sucked him off and took a nap after.â Jake stuffs his mouth with food like a caveman after speaking, giving you time to reflect on their interaction.
âWhy did you come check on me if he told you we didnât have sex?â Itâs your turn to stuff your face and Jake wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like a toddler. âYou know I donât quite trust him yet. Just had to make sure he wasnât lying.â He gives you soft, caring eyes and you feel your heart warm at the sense of comfort. âThank you, Jake.â You smile at him but it drops he shakes his head.
âWasnât just me.â He nods his head towards Sunghoon and Jay who pause suddenly. âThey kept him from leaving while I checked on you.â The other two boys nod and first bump over the bowls of ramen. âI know you guys are caring and brotherly like, but he probably thought he was going to die.â Youâre giggling at the thought of a wide-eyed Heeseung standing stiff against your wall with your two scariest looking friends staring him down.
Sunghoon laughs, almost choking on his ramen while Jay slides him a bottle of water to help soothe his throat. âHe did! It was hilarious but I gave him a nice pat on the shoulder and he eased up a bit.â Sunghoon was speaking in between coughs and you rub his back, encouraging him to not irritate his burning throat more.
âDonât worry about his phone number, I already called it while Jake was checking on you and his phone buzzed in his pocket so we know itâs not a fake pitty number.â Jay watches for your reaction and when speaks again. âSo now I have his number in case of an emergency.â He teases and you slump in your seat with a heavy sigh.
âGeez, okay dad.â You tease him back and he grabs the sticky note, sliding it over and sticking it onto the table in front of you. âNow text him.â
âś
When you texted Heeseung and he responded right away, you werenât quite expecting to stay up all night talking to him. You had asked him to call you around 1am and you giggled at how the read symbol stayed under your message for a solid minute until he was calling you. Even over the phone he would stutter when you ask him a slightly suggestive question or subtly flirt with him.
You had spent hours sending each other old photos from when you were younger, some even from the yearbook as you pointed out the different clubs and sports teams you were in. You laughed together when you pointed out how different you had both become, realize how long it has been since you had first met Heeseung. You had sent him pictures from your social media, bragging about the fun trips you took or the friends you had made.
You sat with a soft smile on your face when you sent him a picture of your three friends posing with bright smiles and bright silver hair. You had explained to him that during the past summer, you and your friends werenât able to leave the city like usual so you all decided to dye your hair silver for fun.
Despite not seeing anyone over the summer, Heeseung can recall seeing your friend group return back to school with faded dirty blonde hair. You brag about how well you did for box dye, going on about how all four of you looked so sexy and that you think Jakeâs looked the coolest because he kept the tips of his hair black. Heeseung gets quiet on the other line and youâd think he had fallen asleep if it werenât for him suddenly clearing his throat and changing the topic, something about his older brother graduating a high ranking university soon.
When you both got quiet after a while and heard the soft snores coming from his side of the call, you whispered a goodnight to him and had a mental debate with yourself to decide whether or not you should hang up. You decided against the idea and fell asleep to the sound of Heeseungâs breathing.
You woke up to find that Heeseung ended the call not long after you fell asleep, but when you read his good morning text your heart warmed.
ââGood morning beautiful, Iâm sorry I hung up early last night, my phone died haha -sweating emoji- canât wait to see you in classâ.â A blinding smile was plastered on your face while you read the text out loud. You met up with your three friends to walk to class, texting the groupchat in all capital letters that you had something important to show them.
âCringe.â Sunghoon scrunched his face in disgust, soon dropping it into a pout after you pinch him harshly. âItâs okay Hoonie I know youâre just jealous.â You tease, wrapping your hands around his arm and pulling him against you. âStop it Y/N! Youâre scaring the hoes.â Sunghoon pushed you off of him and into Jay who catches you with an arm around your waist.
âWhat hoes, Hoon? You lost your virginity last year and havenât been with a girl since.â Jake is the one to tease this time, bringing up a funny memory for your friend group. âOh my God thatâs right! Were you that bad in bed that not one girl in this school wants to fuck you?â You giggle at your continuous attacks on your friend as he just gives an offended glare, opening up his mouth to speak before heâs interrupted.
âI think itâs because he has some slut clinging onto him and two other guys 24/7.â The four of you stop walking and turn to the closest bench, finding a group of girls with evil smirks resting on their too-perfect faces.
âWhat did you just say?â You harshly rip Jayâs arm off of your waist and make your way up to the friend group, your own following behind you. âOh, did I hit a nerve?â The same girl fake pouts at you while her minions giggle to themselves and you clench your fists at the sneakiness lingering in her voice. âNo but Iâm about to hit you in the fucking face-â Youâre cut off by Jay who is covering you mouth with his hand and pulling you backwards towards your friends.
âOkayyy! Iâm going to stop you right there, thank you.â Jay announces loudly, anyone who wasnât aware of the situation before was definitely aware now with the amount of heads that turned in your direction. With a quick turn and an arm over your shoulder, youâre guided away from the group of girls who watch you leave with the same smirks that havenât left their lips.
âJay youâre embarrassing me.â Youâre trying to shove Jayâs heavy arm off of you, which only results in you being tugged closer towards his body. âOh, Iâm the one embarrassing you?â He shoots you a disbelieving expression and then shakes his head. âYou were about to rip her eyelashes off!â Jay pokes you in the temple as a sign of playfulnesses, showing you that heâs not actually that mad at you.
âYeah I wouldâve ripped out her falsies and then her real ones.â You finally wiggle out of Jayâs reach and stand on the opposite side of Jake, using his body as a barrier. Jake now looks at you and covers one of his eyes with his hand, muttering an âouchâ and you just nod as if you were telling him thatâs exactly why that was your chosen threat.
âAlright relax, I donât think Heeseung would want his girl getting into fights over some rumors.â Sunghoon shoots you a somewhat reassuring glance along with his words. You just sigh and canât help but wonder if theyâre actually more than just rumors. âSpeak of the devil.â Jake mumbles just loud enough for your group to hear as you open the door to your music lecture.
All four of you stop in your tracks at the sight of a bright sliver head of hair sitting at the seat next to your own. âIs thatâŚâ Sunghoon trails off in awe as Jakeâs jaw goes slack âNo way.â His thick accented voice dropping to an almost inaudible whisper. âHeeseung?â You walk ahead of the group, laying a hand on Heeseungâs shoulder to catch his attention.
The boy turns and his eyes light up immediately at the sight of you. âYour hairâŚâ you trail off as you reach up to run a hand through his hair. âDo youâŚdo you like it?â You can hear the neediness for reassurance in his voice, like he only cared about what you think. âYeahâ you breathe out as if you were scared to express your true feelings, âYou look sexy.â
His ears visibly darken to a deep red color, taken aback at your forwardness. âDamn right he does!â You hear Jake hype up Heeseung as he offers a fist bump before sitting in his seat next to you.
Throughout the lecture, everything your professor said went in one ear and out the other while your main focus was Heeseung. The way his new hair complimented his complexion perfectly was almost inhumane, and you felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Of course, you canât just climb onto his lap and hold him down while you eat his face in the middle of class, so you opt to do what you do best with Heeseung; make him nervous.
After befriending and become more than just friends with the boy, youâve learned just how sensitive he is everywhere. Any time you rest a hand even on his knee or slightly brush an arm against his, he stiffens and looks down expectantly. So, with the desire to feel something, anything, you softly place your hand on his thigh and lightly tap your fingers. Through your peripheral vision can see Heeseung peering down at you through his own, and you grow impatient with his lack of common response.
As you decide to trail your hand up his thigh, he suddenly grips your wrist almost painfully tight just before you reach the crotch of his pants. You look up annoyed at your failed attempt of teasing him and lock eyes as he shakes his head, as if heâs warning you, even daring you to try again. Placing your hand back in your own lap, he focuses back on the lecture and tries not to react to the way youâre suddenly shifting in your chair.
âIs it just me or is it a bit hot in here guys?â You whisper to your surrounding friends as you fan yourself as an attempt to make your question sound genuine. Sunghoon leans over the table and gives you a stern look before kissing his teeth and scolding you, âI told you that sweater was too thick for this heat! But no! You never listen to me!â. Heâs whining in an aggressive whisper but you ignore him and grab the hem of your knitted sweater and bring it over your head.
As your thin black, very cropped tank top is now visible, you canât help but smirk at Heeseungâs wandering eyes. You notice the way his prominent Adamâs Apple bobs when he swallows harshly, and the way he quickly directs his eyes away when you catch him staring down the area of your back.
âWhatâs wrong, Hee? You getting hot too?â You lean toward him on your desk, crossing your arms under your chest as the pressure enhances your cleavage. âJust a bit.â He states blankly, keeping his eyes staring straight towards the front of the room. You watch as his eyes flick down towards the watch on his wrist but before you can also check the time, heâs grabbing his backpack.
Just as youâre about to ask where heâs going, the bell rings and he shoots up from his seat. He collects his laptop and notebook quickly, and you wonder if you maybe pushed him too far if heâs that eager to get away from you. He catches you off guard as he suddenly grabs your backpack, also putting your things away before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the class before your friends could follow.
âś
After becoming closer to Heeseung both emotionally and sexually, you were 99% sure that you could predict his every move. From the way he stiffens to your small touches or trails his eyes from your own down to your lips every time you speak, nothing he does ever surprises you anymore.
However, now that he finally snapped and pulled you into a room not far from your lecture, youâre suddenly questioning the soft, shy, submissive nature that you may have mistaken him for.
Pulling you into the indoor hallway behind him, you have no time to adjust as heâs pulling you into another room and youâre suddenly pressed against the closed door. Everything happens so fast, youâre almost unable to register the feeling of his lips attacking your neck, licking and sucking everywhere so that no area is left dry.
In fear of his sudden change in demeanor, you place your palms on his chest and push him off of you, just enough to look him in the eyes. âHeeseung, what are you doing?â Youâre whispering harshly, afraid that anyone passing by in the hallway may hear.
âWhat am I doing?â He takes a small step closer but itâs still enough to have the tips of your shoes now touching his. âWhat are you doing? Touching me in class like that? Undressing yourself like that?â Your lip quirks up, realizing that your earlier teasing was working. âI told you, it was getting hot in there.â You look up at him innocently, softly running a hand through his freshly dyed hair.
âAnd I couldnât help myself. Couldnât keep my hands off of you after seeing this.â You harshly tug on his hair on the last word and he lets out a whimper, but heâs quick to keep himself from falling back into the same headspace. Unsatisfied with his reaction, you pull his hair harder and this time he bends down to crash his lips against yours.
He spins you around, walking you across the room until the back of your knees hit something and he pushes you down onto what you realize is a couch. He takes his backpack off of his back and sets it on the chair in front of the sound-mixing board, while you lay comfortable on the couch. Laying sideways on the furniture puts you in the perfect position to grab onto Heeseungâs belt, pulling him on top of you to quickly reconnect your lips.
Heeseung wastes no time, putting one hand on your waist and the other by your head to hold himself up as he pins you into the sofa. Using his advantage of being on top, he keeps you pinned onto the cushions as he rolls his hips into yours, groaning at the feeling of his hard-on making contact with your core. You struggle to kiss him back as your mouth parts at the new feeling, and he takes this opportunity to easily slide his tongue into your mouth, explore everywhere with his wet muscle.
You moan loudly as he keeps rolling his hips into you, and he seems to realize that you had both forgotten youâre in a public area. Without pulling away, he grabs onto your thighs and lifts you up, walking further into the room and up to another door next to the mixing board. One of his hands leaves your thighs and you hear a few clicking noises but before you can open your eyes to check what heâs doing, heâs opening opening the door and walking you inside of the small booth.
Pulling the chair by the microphone closer to you, he sets you down onto it and goes back to close the door. âThis room is soundproof.â He walks back to you and drops to his knees, gripping your thighs and forcing them open before he settles between them. âMeans you can be as loud as you want.â Heâs rubbing his palms on your thighs the same way you did to him, then moves his hands to the button of your jeans.
âCan I?â He only speaks two words but you nod your head almost embarrassingly fast, lifting your hips so he can pull your pants down with ease. You recently started wondering how Heeseung would react to seeing you in your underwear, but nothing could prepare you for the way he grips your hips, pulling you almost all the way out of your seat. He grabs both of your ankles, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders and you have to contain the squeal you want to let out as he bites down onto one of your thighs.
Licking over the bite mark, his hand comes up to slap the side of your ass as punishment. âI told you already, pretty.â He switches to the other thigh, biting down again and leaving a matching bite mark before soothing the pain with his tongue for the second time today. âYou can be loud.â With his repeated permission, you whine at the feeling of him pressing a soft kiss to your clit through your underwear.
âPlease Hee, I need it.â You grind your hips forward into nothing but air and grip the sides of the chair tight. âYeah? Want me to eat this pretty pussy?â His hot breath fans over your covered cunt as he speaks, and you gasp when heâs shoving his face further, inhaling your sweet scent.
You watch as he licks a long stripe up your slit, still covered by your panties before he pulls them to the side frustratingly slow. Your whines turn into moans as he licks under stripe, the time without the thin panties in the way. He wastes no time, diving into your core and licking, sucking, slurping everywhere and everything.
Your thighs shake and clench around his head and he moans into your core as you reach with one hand to grab his hair. The same hair that caused this mess, the same hair that you coincidentally showed him an inspiring picture of the night before. You couldnât think too deeply about it as one of his hands is reaching up to your tank top, pulling the front down along with the cups of your bra.
You throw your head back as the cold air hits your nipples, but is soon replaced by Heeseungâs warm and wet mouth. You look back down to see his lips attached to one of your sensitive buds while his eyes are wide and expecting as he looks up at you. Just the image of the doe-eyed boy you always knew makes another whine escape from your throat.
Heeseung is doing great as his tongue plays with your nipple and his fingers rub circles on your clit, but you need more. âHeeâ you whimper and he blinks in response. âUse your fingers, baby. Inside meâplease.â You roll your hips forward while Heeseungâs hand stops the previous movements and you come to the realization that he hasnât actually done this before.
Lifting your hand that isnât in his hair, you grab his wrist and guide him, rubbing his fingers over your slick before letting him push one into you. Even just one finger was enough to make your back arch, his large hands reaching places your own couldnât. He experimentally curls his finger, grinning at the way your eyebrows furrow and your mouth goes slack. He continues his movements for a few seconds, then adds a second finger and you loose all ability to think.
With your back arching off the chair and your head falling back, Heeseung takes this as a sign to thrust and curl his fingers faster, attaching his lips back to your hard nipple while your own hand releases his wrist to play with the other sensitive bud. Heeseungâs lips leave your nipple to kiss down your body, making his way back to your cunt, licking and sucking almost painfully on your clit, all while speeding up the pace of his fingers inside of you.
His new rough touches send you over the edge, gripping the back of his head tightly, keeping it pressed against you while you grind yourself on his wet tongue. The sight of him sitting between your legs is so overwhelming, causing a knot to form in your lower belly. With his fingers pumping inside of you, mouth open with his pretty pink tongue sticking out for you to use for your own pleasure, and his somehow still innocent looking eyes watching your face as you lose yourself, you feel yourself becoming lightheaded as you come undone.
As soon as you think youâre having a regular orgasm, Heeseung wraps his lips around your clit again, sucking harshly. Thatâs all it took for you to squeeze your eyes shut, a loud moan of Heeseungâs name escaping your throat as you feel your lower half become warm and wet while Heeseung continues sucking and plunging his fingers in and out of you.
The overwhelming feeling doesnât stop or even weaken and you open your eyes and look down, now realizing youâre squirting for the first time in your life. Watching as your juices seem to gush out of you, you canât take your eyes off of Heeseungâs now soaking wet face. His eyes are glossy and shining, while his nose, cheeks, and chin are glistening from your squirt as he finally pulls away once youâve come down from your high.
âWowâŚâ Heeseung seems dazed as he canât take his eyes off of your leaking hole. You grab his chin with your fingers, leading him up to your face to capture his wet lips into a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. âIâve never squirted before, Hee.â You pull back to wipe his sticky wet cheeks and you swear you feel them heat up from your words.
âGuess we both had firsts today.â He pecks your lips and smiles at you and your heart aches at the proud look on his face. Feeling the urge to reassure him, you pull him into a hug and hover your lips by his ear. âMâ so proud of you, baby. Did so good for me.â He whines at your compliment, pulling away from the hug to bring you back into a bruising kiss.
âś
âSo youâre telling meâ Jake pokes a finger into your arm before before pointing it back towards himself, âThat when Heeseung took you to the studio room, you just talked?â Jake shoves a fry into his mouth and sends you a disbelieving look when you simply nod your head. âBullshit.â Jay is speaking from across from you after taking a giant bite out of his burger.
You roll your eyes when you catch a glimpse of his chewed up food and kick his leg under the table, âYouâre disgusting.â Jay returns your kick causing a sharp pain in your shin and you mumble curses at him while rubbing the sore spot. Jay then sends a few verbal hits towards you after he finishes chewing his bite, âYouâre one to talk! Iâm starting to think you have a exhibitionism kink with how often you and your boyfriend get it on in public.â
You grab your cup and bite your straw in annoyance, avoiding eye contact as youâre ashamed your friend might be right. âFirst of all, heâs not my boyfriend, and second of all, weâre not âgetting it onâ in public, I just sucked him off that one time at home and he only returned the favor in the studio room.â You quickly realize your mistake when Jake is slamming a heavy palm on the table next to you and practically screeching in your ear.
âHa! I knew it! Thereâs no way your corruptive ass is able to hold a private conversation with a shy guy like Heeseung without pouncing on him!â On the other side of the table, Jay fist bumps Jake while Sunghoon is choking on his milkshake, eyes tearing up as it comes out of his nose. You scrunch your face up in disgust while handing a few napkins over to your poor friend.
âWhatever guys, so what if Iâm sexually active with him? Itâs not like heâs the first guy Iâve been with.â You once again bite down on the flimsy plastic of your straw, staring down at your fingers that are tapping on the bright red coloring of the old burger jointâs table.
Jay points a finger up in a âmatter of factâ manner as he tilts his head in a playful way. âYou know heâs the first guy youâve been with that actually has a massive crush on you though. Just saying, obsession is not a joke and you know how dangerous some guys could be when theyâre crazy about a girl.â
Jayâs word make you rethink your whole relationship with Heeseung, realizing that most of the guys youâve been with were just casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. The types of relationships that took mutual agreements and setting boundaries in order to keep until eventually one of you got bored with the other. With Heeseung, you hadnât discussed those boundaries and just assumed thatâs what he had wanted. Now, with Jay shooting you a knowing look, you realize you may have fucked up.
âWellâŚwhat if he doesnât want a relationship? I could just be a booty call to him.â You shrug and try to ignore the way Sunghoon and Jake both start rambling about how naive and oblivious you seem to be. âY/N, I love you and all, but I genuinely canât tell if youâre being a dumb bitch or being in denial.â Sunghoon pats your hand in a comforting way while the other two boys nod their heads in agreement. âYeah youâve seen how he looks at you! No man looks at his booty call with heart eyes.â Jake pokes your temple and you swat his hand away.
âHe could also just be looking at me with âfuck meâ eyes.â You retort what you think is a reasonable answer, until Jay is speaking from across from you again. âBut itâs Heeseung, I donât think heâs even held a girlâs hand before. âFuck meâ eyes could be a big deal to him if he finds sex more than just casual. Heâs not like you and you know that.â Sunghoon wipes his fake tears and pats Jay on the back like a proud father, âI think thatâs the smartest thing Iâve ever heard come out of your mouth.â
Jay rolls his eyes and takes the last bite of his burger, uncomfortable with his friend who is now pinching his cheeks. Next to you, Jake places his now empty cup down and turns to you. His eyes are burning holes into your face as you avoid eye contact, not wanting to continue the discussion any longer. âI know youâre internally freaking out right now.â Jake nudges your shoulder with his own, âHow about you sleep on it and maybe talk to Heeseung about it tomorrow?â
He gives you his best supportive look and you feel grateful that at least one of your friends is actually trying to be helpful. You slowly nod your head, lost in your thoughts of Heeseung and you canât help but feel nervous about having such a serious conversation with him.
âAlright!â Jay claps his hands and scares you out of your thoughts. âLetâs hit the road!â He quickly stands up from the table and Sunghoon squeezes out of the booth following him with a snort, âOkay what are you, a dad?â Your smile at Sunghoonâs comment quickly turns into a frown of disgust as Jay corrects, âActually, itâs dad-dy, thank you very much.â
As Sunghoon pushes the doors of the restaurant wide open mimicking a grand exit, all four of you stop in your tracks as a very tall, silver headed and doe eyed boy is also stopping. âHeeseung? What are you doing here?â You curse yourself for asking such a stupid question, but youâre caught off guard by the boyâs perky answer. âOh! I um- I was just here to pick up my cousin. He needed a ride home.â Heâs looking at the floor and kicking the small pebbles, rolling them under his shoe.
Your mouth makes an âoâ shape and you nod, suddenly uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere. âWhat about you guys?â Heeseung also asks a stupid question and you notice the way he disappointedly shakes his head at himself. âWe stayed at school a little later to work on our projects so we just decided to get dinner here before they drop me off at home.â You glance shyly at the taller boy, still in awe of how angelic he looks with his new hair.
âOh you must be tired then! Iâll let you get home, uh, see you tomorrow?â He stutters out and you smile to yourself. âYeah, Hee, Iâll see you tomorrow.â You walk by him and pat his arm as your friends follow behind you. âThat was so painful to watch.â Sunghoon shivers, which in return gets him demoted to the back seat of the car while you steal the front.
âś
âYouâre not gonna kill me are you?â
Heeseung wishes he was joking but after you sent him the infamous âcan we talk?â text, he couldnât stop sweating and overthinking what you couldâve possibly wanted to talk about. âIf I wanted to kill you I wouldnât be meeting up with you under a giant tree in the middle of campus.â You giggle as you sit down on the old bench, patting the spot next to you.
As Heeseung sits down, you canât help the small blush that heats up your cheeks at how close he decided to sit. Close enough that heâs suddenly wrapping an arm around your shoulder and tugging you to sit with your thigh pressing against his. You turn to him with wide eyes and he immediately caves into himself, snaking his arm back towards his own body.
âSorry- I just thought maybe youâd like that but I guess I shouldâve known not toâŚconsidering I can guess the reason weâre here.â He mumbles while watching his hands fidget with each other in his lap, and you feel a pang in your heart at his sudden drop in confidence. âNo, Hee.â You grab his anxious hands, holding both of them in between yours, âI did want to talk to you about that, but not for the reason you think.â
He visibly perks up, eyes bright and hopeful but his teeth are still nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. âI know we kind of started off fast- with this whole thing between usâŚâ He nods attentively as you speak, âand I know I never really asked you what we are.â Heeseungâs heart beats faster with every word you speak.
âThatâs just something Iâm used to- having no solid labels on relationships but I understand if thatâs not what you want.â Heeseung gulps harshly as he lets you ramble, already knowing his answer to your upcoming question. âI guess what Iâm trying to say is, I genuinely really like you, and if you wanna-â Your confession is cut short by the annoying ringing of a phone, and you break eye contact with Heeseung to check who is interrupting your rant.
Of course, itâs Sunghoon screeching on the other line. âY/N! The boys and I need help with our projects so weâre coming to you! Where are you? Under the tree? Weâll check there for you.â Before you can speak a word, Sunghoon is cutting off your argument, âBut-â âNo buts! Weâre on our way.â
You give Heeseung an apologetic smile that quickly falls when your friends are already walking up to you. âDo you seriously need my help? You guys have taken more music classes than me!â You stand up and dust off any dirt left on your clothes. âWellâŚwe just missed you and wanted to work on our projects together.â Jay is wrapping an arm around Sunghoonâs shoulder and the younger groans. âI donât know why this guy lied, we know you wouldâve agreed either way.â
You roll your eyes and sling your backpack onto your shoulder, obviously annoyed at your friends who interrupted your moment with Heeseung, once again. âYouâre lucky I love you guys, and I havenât even started my project yet.â You walk away as your four friends follow behind, tripping over each others feet.
The five of you make it into the music building, making your way through the indoor hallway and decide to work in one of the recording studios. You shyly glance at Heeseung to see him already looking at you. âWhat?â He leans over towards you once you sit on the studio couch and pull out your laptops. âFlashbacks?â His hand finds your thigh and youâre quick to pull it off, just in time for your other three friends to turn around and start a conversation.
âSo what is the project about anyways?â Jake had obviously not been listening during the past few lectures. Jay sets his laptop down next to Jakeâs, opening up his notebook which was filled with different information on music theory and genres. âJust experiment with the tools and see what comes easiest to you. Personally, I find alternative rock a fitting style for myself.â
You look over at Heeseung and find him already staring at you, something unrecognizable lingering in his eyes. âHee?â You nudge him and brush a strand of hair off of his face. âYou okay?â Your voice seems to snap him out, and he blinks rapidly before apologizing. âWas just zoning out I guess.â He starts taping away on his own laptop and you giggle at the Toy Story picture he has saved as his background.
âWhat about you Heeseung? Did you start yet?â Jay asks while reclining in his chair, arms stretching above his head as his shirt lifts up to show a sliver of honey skin. âUhh, yeah I did start actually. I only have a few bars done though.â Heeseung doesnât move his gaze from his computer screen as he chews on his bottom lip, a nervous habit youâve picked up on.
âPlay it.â Jay motions towards Heeseung, giving him an expecting look. âAlrightâŚâ Heeseung still hasnât taken his eyes off of his screen, adjusting the volume before pressing play. A deep bass is heard with a few vocal effects added in, and youâre all nodding your heads to the rhythm when your heart drops at a sudden beat change.
Within the first ten seconds of the song, a moan of Heeseungâs name is heard loud and clear, followed by a beat signaling to lead the song into a more R&B feel. You pause, a chill crawling up your spine as you look over at Heeseung who has a proud smirk relaxed onto his face.
The song ends and he presses the space bar to pause it, quickly glancing over to the four of you to find your reactions. âSo?â He relaxes back on the couch that suddenly feels too small for the two of you. âWhat do you guys think?â Heâs overly cocky, something you have yet to get used to. âItâs really goodâŚâ Jake is speaking hesitantly while looking next to him at Sunghoon, who just nods his head in agreement. âButâŚwhat was that at the beginning?â His question makes your heart pound, knowing exactly what heâs referring to.
âWhat? My producer tag?â Heeseung has a causal smile on his lips. âItâs sexy isnât it? Of course I had some help.â He places an arm around your shoulder and winks at you, but youâre quick to shove him off of you and run out of the room.
You donât get far when you hear the studio door opening, and then the loud shut of the door echoing through the music building hallway. âWhatâs wrong, pretty?â Heeseung lands a hand on your shoulder, spinning you around shoving you against the wall. He places his forearm above your head, leaning in uncomfortably close. You have tears pouring down your cheeks but your face is stone cold.
âIsnât this what you wanted?â He leans in and his nose brushes against yours. One of his hands is suddenly grabbing your chin, turning your face so his nose is nudging your cheek bone instead. You squeeze your eyes shut and feel his lips gently kiss your jaw. Heeseung then sticks his tongue out, licking a long stripe from your jaw to your eye, collecting the freshly fallen tear that had collected on your cheek.
The sensation of his warm, wet muscle dragging along your face makes your stomach turn in both disgust and something youâd be too ashamed to admit. âYou wanted to be mine, no?â He brings your face back to look at him and presses a soft kiss to your quivering bottom lip. âWanted everyone to know youâre mine?â His words make heat pool in your lower stomach and you subconsciously close your legs tight, rubbing your thighs together softly.
âLook at you.â He coos, running a hand through your hair. âYou like this, hm? So dirty.â His words make you nod instinctively and he smiles at how easily you fold for him. âWhy donât we get back in there, donât want to worry your boys.â You nod instinctively again, bringing a hand up to wipe your face and walk away as Heeseung follows behind.
You enter the room hesitantly, cheeks burning from embarrassment as your friendsâ eyes are filled with worry. You avoid eye contact when sitting back down, immediately burning holes into the screen of your laptop so you didnât have to face the awkward atmosphere. Heeseung sits next to you and places a hand on your thigh, fingers gently tapping to a random rhythm.
You let out a shaky breath and try to change the subject, hoping to get everyoneâs eyes off of you. âWho wants to play theirs next?â
âś
Resentment
Anger
Shame
You couldnât shake the embarrassment you felt for the rest of the day. Hanging out with your friends never felt so humiliating, even after you had gotten home and relaxed in bed, you couldnât help the tears from falling. Yet, you werenât finding yourself angry at Heeseung. Just angry at how embarrassed you had felt afterwards.
Of course, with such a close friend group there wasnât such thing of hiding secretes or being âtoo extremeâ. Your friends were your everything and had been there with you throughout all of your relationships, hearing every single detail from your side.
However, having your sexuality exposed by someone else felt humiliating and destructive. You knew Heeseung hadnât necessarily meant to humiliate you in front of your friends, despite not knowing the actual reason for him using such a private moment in such a light manner.
No matter how embarrassed you felt, you couldnât bring yourself to be upset at him. Even after you cried yourself to sleep that night, and even after you had spent the whole next day sulking in bed. Eventually your friends were sick of pitying you and decided to plan a movie night at your apartment; showing up with snacks and stacks of movies, grabbing you by the ankles and dragging you out of bed.
As you sat on the couch while your friends argued over which movie to watch first, you couldnât help but zone out with your head flooding with thoughts of Heeseung. As if your brains Bluetooth connected, Jake leaned over to comfort you, something youâd never get tired of.
âI know youâre thinking about him.â He sends you a firm glance, communicating that you have no reason in lying. âDo you miss him?â You nod insecurely at his question, ashamed to admit it. âWhy donât you invite him? I know weâre doing this to get your mind off of him but maybe itâll help if you just talk to him.â Jake rubs your back gently and you take a deep breath, releasing it as you whisper in agreement.
Now, youâre sat with Heeseung on your bed while your friends watch horror movies and eat the snacks they brought for you. âI donât want them to interrupt us again so Iâm just gonna get straight to the point.â You glance at Heeseung before looking away towards a poster on your wall. âI like you a lot, Hee. And I know you feel the same, and I know you want us to be exclusive. So, I think we have to set some boundaries and know exactly what we want in a relationship if you really want to be with me.â Heeseung nods along to everything you say, and you start listing off the expectations you have for him as he does the same.
You havenât realized how much time had passed while talking to Heeseung until you notice the silence coming from downstairs, and you peek your head out of your door to hear three different sets of snores coming from your friends. You sit back on your bed and take note of how comfortable Heeseung looks next to you.
Of course, this isnât the first time you had Heeseung in your room sitting on your bed. However, it was the first time you had gone this long with him on your bed without lunging at him. That didnât last long though as youâre suddenly climbing onto his lap, pressing your lips harshly against his.
âMissed you so much.â Youâre mumbling against his lips and heâs pulling back to laugh at you. âItâs only been like two days, youâre that obsessed with me?â His teasing makes you blush and duck your head into his neck. âYouâve literally liked me since high school and Iâm the one obsessed with you?â Youâre arguing back and now Heeseung is the one blushing.
Instead of responding, he connects your lips and flips over, laying you softly against the bed. Your tongue invades his mouth and he welcomes it eagerly, whining into the kiss as he sucks on your bottom lip. âFor not having much experience youâre so good at kissing, Hee.â You compliment him and notice the way his eyes glimmer with confidence.
âBetter than Jake?â His question catches you off guard and youâre confused until you realize what heâs referencing. âWhat- how do you know about that?â Youâre sitting up now, slowly scooting away from Heeseung. âWell, it wasnât exactly like you guys were hiding in a private area.â His hand finds your cheek and caresses it, thumb playing with your bottom lip.
You sit still in shock, not realizing that Heeseung had known one of your most private secrets for so long. âI mean, behind the school? You know so many kids go back there to do God knows what, I just happened to be back there and seen you guys.â As he speaks, your fingers are playing with your bed sheet nervously, twisting the fabric until your fingertips turn white.
âDo you know how upset I was?â He was puling you back under him by your waist, kissing you harshly with no time to react. âTo see him get what I wanted? To see him touch whatâs mine.â Youâre looking up at him in pure shock, not realizing how badly he had wanted you for so long.
âThat was just a one time thing- you know that!â Youâre quick to defend yourself but Heeseung just caresses your cheek and smiles. âI know baby, I know you only want me now.â You nod against his lips as he kisses you again, before he pulls away for the nth time. âWont let anyone else have you. Youâre mine now.â One hand finds your throat and gently squeezes as the other still cups your cheek, feeling the way your jaw moves while your tongue laps against his.
Releasing your lips from his own, he kisses your from your chin down to your jaw and neck, gently sucking the warm skin before making his way to your collarbone. His hands travel up your sides, squeezing the flesh of your waist comfortingly and you ease into his touch.
âHeeseungâŚâ you whine as he nips at the skin covering your collarbone, leaving small barely-visible teeth marks. âHeeseung, I need you.â He smiles against your neck, inhaling your addicting natural scent. Your hands grab his hips, pulling him closer as you shift your own upwards, chasing the friction of your bodies together.
He takes this opportunity to grind his hips down, immediately groaning at the feeling of your core against him. Your hands slide up his back and into his hair, pulling him down to kiss you again. As your lips connect, youâre caught in a mess of tongue sucking and teeth clashing while you amateurishly grind your lower halves together.
You pull away and feel yourself grow more aroused at the sight of Heeseungâs chin shining from the mix of your saliva, assuming yours also looks the same. âNeed you now.â He nods and lifts your shirt up your chest and over your head, eyes widening at your lack of bra. âNot the first time youâve seen them, Hee.â You remind him but you still feel slightly prideful that your body hasnât become any less admirable to him.
He sucks and bites at the skin of your chest, one hand softly rolling your nipple in his fingers while his warm mouth finds the other. Your back arches off of the bed, pushing your body impossibly closer to Heeseungâs and he groans when you pull his hair harshly. âYou like that?â You pull his hair again and he huffs a shaky breath onto your skin. âYou like when it hurts?â He grinds his hips down in response, laying his cheek flat on your chest.
âNo matter how cute you think it is, I jdonât want to cum in my pants like a virgin.â Despite his words, heâs still grinding into you almost painfully rough. âBut you are a virgin.â You cup his face and bring his face to look you in the eyes. âNot for much longerâŚI hope.â His eyes are sparkling and hopeful and you canât help but place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. âItâll be much longer if you donât undress me right now.â
His hands move quickly as he rushes to tug your pajama pants down, only stopping for a moment to admire your cute panties before heâs pulling them down too. He notices the way youâre shyly grabbing a small blanket to cover yourself and sends you a worried look, only for you to point back at him. âYouâre still fully clothed.â You giggle and push him away. âYou havenât even taken your socks off!â You tease him and he shakes his head before swiftly pulling his shirt over his head.
You watch in awe as he undresses, admiring his naked body for the first time. As you pull the blanket away from your own body, you assume heâs doing the same when you catch him almost drooling over you. With a beckoning of your hand, heâs quickly hovering over you again, this time with two fingers between your legs.
âHave to prep you, baby. Donât want to hurt you too bad.â You canât even respond as he slides a thick finger into you, curling it upwards while his thumb rubs circles in your clit. âMore.â Youâre quiet but Heeseung has always been good at listening to you, and he pulls his finger out slowly just to push it back in with a second one. You canât help your hips from grinding against his palm as he has two fingers knuckle deep inside of you.
You grab his wrist and he looks at you in worry, just to be met with low, lust-filled eyes. âCant wait any longer.â Your voice is seductive and Heeseung feels his heart hammering against his chest. âFuck, okay.â He adjusts himself, ready to push into you until heâs stopping abruptly. âCondom. I donât have a condom.â He sounds panicked, secretly worried that finally getting to have you will have to be postponed.
To his luck, you just shake your head and reach for his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. âDonât need one. Iâm taking one of your firsts today so I want you to take one of mine.â Heeseungâs feels his heart grow as heâs honored to be the first guy you take raw, and he will make sure that heâs also the last.
Lining up to your entrance again, he slides his tip against your folds a few times, coating his length in your slick that is now pooling onto your bed. He slowly pushes in, head falling forward to rest in your neck as the overwhelming squeeze of your walls sucks him in. âF-fuck.â He curse breathily and you canât help but moan at how arousing just hearing his voice is.
Heâs bottoms out fully and your back arches up, feeling him deep enough to know your cervix could end up bruised. He wraps an arm around your waist to keep your back lifted off of the bed as he slowly pulls out and then slides back in. Your eyes roll back, unable to form a single thought when he starts finding a solid pace, fucking into you gently.
âHarder.â You moan through the word and watch the way he lifts off of you, grabbing your hips and pinning you to the bed. As if something in him switched, heâs keeping you pinned as his hips snap almost painfully fast, hitting the most sensitive spots inside of you with each thrust.
âOh-fuck, Heeseung!â Youâre sure the three boys downstairs have been woken from their deep slumber by now with how loud youâre moaning and the sounds of skin slapping. âFuck Iâm so close already, Iâm sorry.â Heeseung sounds pathetic as he whines into your neck.
One hand is digging your fingernails into his broad back as the other guides his face towards yours. You kiss him once before sticking your tongue out and looking him deep in the eyes. Heâs unsure of what youâre doing before a lightbulb goes off in his brain. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he squeezes harshly as he lets his spit glide from his lips into your mouth, then connects your lips to his before you could swallow.
The disgusting amount of saliva in your mouth allows your tongues to glide together easily and Heeseung moans loudly at the feeling. âGod-I think Iâm gonna cum.â Just as the shaky words leave his mouth, you feel a tight knot form inside of you and hearing him sound so fucked out only made you crash over the edge. His thrusts are messy and his eyes are squeezing shut, hoping to last a little longer for you.
âCome on baby, cum with me, need it so bad please-.â Youâre barely able to get the words out before youâre wrapping your arms around Heeseungâs neck and rocking your hips, cumming around him with a scream-like whine as your juices are squirting out of you. âOh fuck-fuck!â Heeseung is groaning between clenched teeth, jaw tight as he struggles to hold back whimpers and moans but doesnât last long when youâre trapping his bottom lip between your teeth.
He lets out the most pathetic, high pitched moan from his throat as he feels you suck on his lip while your cunt does the same to his cock still burried inside of you. He feels like he canât stop cumming, spurts after spurts of warm liquid filling you up to the point where heâs forced to pull out of you.
As he does that, he watches the way your mixed liquids seep out of you, staining your bedsheets and thighs. You notice the way his whole abdomen up to his chest is glistening, feeling proud that he was able to make you squirt again but this time without his mouth.
He plops down next you and pulls you to lay your head on his chest. âIâll clean you up right now, pretty. Just lay here for a bit.â You have never felt this happy after such an intimate moment, grateful that life had lead you to such a sweet and caring boy. You lay there for a few minutes until Heeseung throws his sweats on and finds a towel to clean you with, wetting it with warm water before wiping you up gently.
âWhy are you the one doing this? I just took your virginity, you should be the one getting princess treatment.â Youâre only half joking but Heeseung doesnât care, kissing your forehead and removing the dirty sheets off of your bed and instead throwing together some random extra blankets he found. He cuddles up next to you, pulling your body so close to his that you think you can hear his heartbeats. âDoesnât matter the situation, Iâll always take care of my girl.â
âś
Heeseung is a great boyfriend, even if sometimes he can be overly confident and grope you in public or wouldnât stop bragging to your friends about how perfect you are, resulting in your cheeks burning red and hot to the touch. Youâve noticed the way he get protective over you even with your own friends; sitting between you and Jake or even eating all of the ramen before Sunghoon comes over just out of spite.
Even after two weeks of being official, having Heeseung still doesnât feel real. Maybe itâs the fact that youâve never been treated this well in a relationship, or maybe itâs the fact that youâve never had someone be this in love with you. So in love that he threatens to bite the hand of many who even looks your way.
So, when Heeseung finds himself back at another party, mixing up a concoction of random liquids, he barely notices the way his red solo cup is reaching itâs limit. Too focused on the way a way-too-friendly guy has been hitting on you all night, he doesnât even care about the amount of alcoholic beverages heâs filling his cup with.
Sometimes he feels embarrassed by how badly he wants you, and now that he has you, he doesnât know how to handle his jealousy. Thatâs why when the guy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, Heeseung takes the wrong road and decides heâs done being the pathetic and needy boyfriend youâre used to.
While youâre sitting on the disgusting frat couch with suspicious stains on the cushions, you canât help but worry that Heeseung is taking too long to get another drink. Your other three friends are somewhere else, off getting shit faced drunk while youâre left alone to protect yourself from this man who has been following you around all night.
You noticed the way he would back off when youâre with Heeseung, but as soon as your boyfriend is a few feet away, youâre being flirted with and touched in uncomfortable ways. Now that Heeseung has been gone for a few long minutes, your struggling to fight off the manâs wandering hands that trail from your shoulder to your lower back, wincing when his hand doesnât move even after you tug on his wrist.
He just laughs, pointing to the corner of a room and whispers uncomfortably close to your ear. âThatâs your man?â You follow his finger, heart dropping when you watch the way Heeseung is towering over a small, almost too-perfect girl. The same girl who had the nerve to call you a slut in the middle of campus.
You donât miss the way she looks over her shoulder, smirking when she catches you staring. She turns back to Heeseung with a pretty smile, reaching up to trail her fingertips across his arm and you feel your heart crumble.
You reach your breaking point, shoving the clingy man off of you so hard he stumbles against the stairs, landing hard on his ass. You donât even glance back at him as you make your way around the house, eventually finding all three of your friends swimming in the backyard pool with their jeans and white shirts now soaking.
You hurry to them, explaining that you donât feel well and that you need to go home. âAre you okay? Whereâs Heeseung?â Your boyfriendâs name coming out of Sunghoonâs mouth was enough for you to break down, covering your face with your hand as tears spill from your eyes. âWhat the fuck happened, Y/N? What did he do?â Jayâs voice is stern and demanding but you know heâs not frustrated with you. âIâll go find him-â Jake is cut off when you grab his wrist, pulling him back towards your circle.
âI donât want to see him right now, just take me home.â As if the universe is testing you, said boyfriend is walking up to your friend group with an unreadable expression before you can plan your escape. âHey, pretty. Whatâs wrong?â His question infuriates you more and you find yourself rushing forward and harshly pushing his chest.
âWhatâs wrong with me? Whatâs wrong with you!?â Your voice is horse as you cry, a few strangers now looking in your direction. Heeseung takeâs note of this, suddenly grabbing you by the arm and rushing inside of the house. The lights and music blur your senses, and youâre unable to tell whatâs going on until your back is being pressed up against a bathroom sink.
Heeseungâs lips quickly find their way to yours, biting and sucking harshly as you continue to cry. âStop, Heeseung. Iâm not in the mood.â You shove his shoulder and he pulls away with an irritated look. âWhy not? Did that guy not agree to fuck you?â His words are sharp and mean.
You gasp offendedly, a hurt expression making its way onto your face. âWhat the fuck are you talking about? I donât want to fuck him!â Youâre yelling again and Heeseung presses his index finger to your lips. âThatâs not what it looked like when you were letting him feel you up.â Heeseung is calm and it irritates you more at how confident heâs being despite being wrong.
You feel your eyes start tearing up again, looking away from your boyfriendâs angelic face. âI wasnât letting him.â Your voice is quiet and weak. âI couldnât stop him and you-you werenât there to help me. You knew he was preying on me but you still left me alone.â You canât stop the warm tears from sliding down your cheeks.
Heeseung takes a step back, eyes now softer and habitually nibbling on his bottom lip. âFuck, baby, Iâm sorry.â He cups your face with both hands, eyes locking with yours before he brings you into a tight hug. âI was just so mad that he was trying to get at you, I wanted to make you feel the same way. Didnât even realize how uncomfortable you were, Iâm sorry.â You swear you hear him sniffle as he apologizes, squeezing your body tighter.
âItâsâŚitâs fine, Hee. Youâre new to this relationship stuff so Iâll just have to teach you, I guess.â You sigh and run your fingers through his hair, calming the both of you down. He takes a few shaky breaths before pulling back from the hug and kissing you again, soft and sweet like heâs thanking you for being so patient.
Maybe youâll just have to get used to him having these ups and downs. Sure, he isnât the most confident and might be immature and reckless sometimes, but thatâs all a part of learning. You want to allow him to experience these harsh moments and teach him how to overcome them. Even if it hurts you in the process, youâll do anything to be with Heeseung and heâd do anything to be with you, because after so long, youâre finally his.
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TFWILY (psh) ONESHOT
sum you're a florist at a small flower shop. while the shop isn't the most popular, you've made connections with many regulars who come by to say hello and buy some flowers. park sunghoon, slightly clumsy, enters the shop and accidentally breaks a vase ... and a friendship blooms from there.
pairing park sunghoon x florist!reader
genre soft love, fluff, strangers2lovers, just two awkward people bonding over their awkwardness
an hope you enjoy it, i'm pretty proud of this one hehe
tagged: @jjongscardigan @nxzz-skz
wc 2.3k
i. TFW i trip in front of a cute florist
in the heart of a lively town, hidden between tall buildings and busy streets, stands a quaint flower shop adorned with colorful plants. you were proud to call this place your own, getting support from family and friends to open a floral shop. although it was difficult to juggle both college and work at the same time, youâve managed to make some friends at school that helped you run the shop when you werenât able to. to put it simply â you were content and happy with your current life. you werenât too lonely, visiting your parents by train every weekend, hanging out with your friends occasionally, and talking to regular customers that came in and out of your shop. you even met your best friend and platonic soulmate, yani, because she happened to stumble across your shop one day. you wouldnât trade this life for anything else.Â
âyeah, it was such a weirdââ yani stopped mid sentence and looked at the time on her phone. âoh shoot, itâs almost 2pm! iâm almost late for an event. iâll see you later (___)!â she waved at you as she rushed out of the shop.
you chuckled at her messy state and how she almost tripped over nothing. you decided to get back to arranging a bouquet for a customer, humming a small tune from one of ella fitzergaldâs songs. you were so focused on making sure that the bouquet looked visually appealing that you yelped in shock when you heard a loud crashing sound.Â
you quickly looked up to see a tall man with a distraught look on his face. you followed his eyes to the ground where you saw the disaster he caused â a vase from your mom shattered into pieces.Â
âoh my âŚâ you rushed over ready to reprimand the man for damaging your property, before you caught a better look at his face.Â
âiâm so so sorry,â he frantically apologized, his eyes furrowed with sincere worry. âiâll clean it up immediately ⌠um, iâll even pay you for the damage ⌠again, iâm so sorry,â he bent down and started quickly picking up the pieces and before you could even stop him, he cut himself on the sharp glass. he let out a quick hiss before trying to wipe off the blood.Â
âsir ⌠stop, just stop,â you pulled him up. âyou must be a very clumsy person ⌠first you knock over my vase and now you hurt yourself!âÂ
the man didnât even have a chance to respond before you pulled him over to sit down, quickly getting out a small bandaid that had a cute flower on it.Â
âmiss ⌠the broken pieces are still there,â he quietly said.Â
âitâs fine, i will clean it up myself,â you responded, still focused on disinfecting his cut.Â
he went silent, watching you gently put the bandaid on. once you were done you looked at him â his face flushed pink at the close distance between your faces. you took note of his beauty marks that complemented his face gracefully.Â
âa ⌠alright, iâm done. hopefully you donât mind the bandaid,â you murmured, rushing to clean the shards (and to hide your strawberry face).Â
as you busied yourself sweeping up the broken pieces of the vase, you stole glances at the mysterious man sitting on the chair. despite your initial impression, there was something intriguing about him. perhaps it was the way his eyes shined with sincerity, or the faint hint of a smile that played on his lips as you tended to his small wound.Â
âthank you,â he spoke, breaking the awkward silence.Â
you smiled and hummed in response. once you finished cleaning up the mess, you turned back to him, noticing he was still sitting there, almost as if he didn't want to leave just yet.
"is there anything else i can help you with?" you asked, tilting your head slightly. âdid you come here to buy flowers?â
the man hesitated for a moment before shaking his head, âno, i was just curious because iâve never seen this shop before ⌠i should probably get going.â
you nodded, understanding. "alright then. take care, and watch your step next time," you teased gently, a playful glint in your eyes.
he chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he finally stood up. "i'll keep that in mind. thanks again." with that, he made his way out of the shop, leaving you standing there with a faint smile on your lips.
you stood there, letting his lingering cologne fill your veins before you go back to working â your rants to your friends about this encounter will have to wait.Â
ii. classroom at noon
as weeks passed, the memory of sunghoon park gradually faded into the background of your bustling life. your days were filled with the usual routines of managing your flower shop, attending classes at university, and spending time with friends and family. yet âŚÂ there was always a lingering curiosity about the man who had stumbled into your shop that day.
one afternoon, after a particularly long lecture at university, you found yourself making your way to the library, eager to catch up on some reading and maybe even get started on your next assignment. as you entered the quiet sanctuary of books, you couldn't help but feel a sense of calm wash over you.
finding a cozy corner tucked away from the prying eyes of other students, you settled down with your books, stretching and ready to lose yourself in the world of academics. but just as you were about to immerse yourself in your studies, a familiar & deep voice interrupted your thoughts.Â
"excuse me, is this seat taken?"
you looked up to find none other than the man from a few weeks ago standing before you, a small smile playing on his lips. he looked much more put together â his hair was styled and his outfit fit perfectly with his vibe. surprise flickered across your face before it softened into a warm smile of recognition.Â
"oh, hi! no, it's not taken. please, have a seat," you replied, gesturing to the empty chair across from you.
he nodded gratefully and took a seat, setting his bag down beside him. "thanks. i hope i'm not intruding in your studies grind.â
"not at all," you assured him, feeling a flutter of excitement in your chest at the unexpected reunion. âi didnât know you were a university student.âÂ
not many people do," sunghoon chuckled, flipping through the pages of his notebook. "i like to keep a low profile."
you nodded, understandingly. "fair enough. what are you studying?"
"business management," he replied, closing the book momentarily to meet your gaze. "and you?"
"botany," you answered, a hint of pride in your voice. "i guess you could say it comes in handy for running a flower shop."
sunghoon's eyes lit up with interest. "that sounds fascinating. i'd love to hear more about it sometime."
for a moment, there was a comfortable silence between you as you both immersed yourselves in your respective studies. but as time passed, you found yourselves stealing glances at each other, a silent curiosity lingering in the air.
finally, unable to resist the urge any longer, sunghoon spoke up. "hey, i never properly introduced myself last time. i'm sunghoon park."
you smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his cute gesture. "nice to officially meet you, sunghoon. i'm (___).â
the conversation flowed effortlessly between you as you both delved into your studies, occasionally sharing snippets of your lives outside of university. hours passed in the blink of an eye, and before you knew it, the sun had begun to set outside the library windows.
as you gathered your things to leave, sunghoon hesitated for a moment before speaking up. "hey, (your name), i was wondering if you'd like to grab coffee with me sometime? you know, as a thank you for letting me share your table today."
a warmth spread through your chest at his invitation, and you couldn't help but smile. "i'd love to."
"great," sunghoon grinned, relief evident in his eyes. "how about this weekend?"
"that sounds perfect," you agreed, exchanging contact information with him.
with plans in place for your coffee date, you bid each other farewell, anticipation bubbling in your chest at the prospect of spending more time with sunghoon outside of the library.
iii. please just stay with me
the day of your coffee date arrived, and as you walked into the cafĂŠ, your heart fluttered with excitement. you scanned the room until your eyes landed on sunghoon, who was already waiting for you at a table near the window. he looked up and flashed you a bright smile as you approached, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at the sight of him.
"hey," he greeted you, his smile widening as you took a seat across from him.
"hi," you replied, returning his smile. "thanks for meeting me here."
sunghoon nodded, reaching into his bag and pulling out a bouquet of flowers. your favorite flowers, to be exact. you couldn't hide your surprise as he placed them on the table in front of you.
"how did you...?" you started, trailing off as you looked at him in confusion.
sunghoon chuckled softly, scratching the back of his neck. "well, i noticed there was a vase of these flowers on your desk at the shop, so i figured you liked them. i did a little research," he explained, a hint of bashfulness in his tone. "are you proud of me?"
you felt your cheeks heat up at his words, but you couldn't help but smile. "yes, i'm very proud of you. thank you, sunghoon."
the rest of the coffee date passed in a blur of laughter and easy conversation. after you finished your drinks, sunghoon suggested going for a walk, and you eagerly agreed. as you strolled along the quiet streets, the atmosphere between you was a mix of excitement and nervousness. you both kept stealing glances at each other, your hands occasionally brushing against one another. each accidental touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation building in the air.
eventually, sunghoon's hand brushed over yours, and this time, neither of you pulled away. instead, you intertwined your fingers with his, your heart pounding in your chest as you shared a shy smile. awkwardness filled the air, but it was a sweet kind of awkwardness, the kind that came with the excitement of new love.Â
"you look radiant today," he began, his voice soft but sincere. "not that you aren't always beautiful, but today... you're truly glowing. like, back when i saw you in that flower shop, it just felt rightâ you belong there. you have this aura, this⌠this flower aura."
his sincere words caught you off guard, and you felt a rush of warmth spread through you. "flower aura?" you repeated, unable to hide the amusement in your voice.
"yeah," he continued, his cheeks tinted with a hint of pink. "it's like... you're surrounded by this natural beauty, and it's captivating."
your heart fluttered at his words, and you couldn't help but smile. "well, in that case, you're like a prince charming, sweeping me off my feet with your compliments."
sunghoon's smile widened at your response, his eyes sparkling with affection. "i'm just speaking the truth," he said earnestly. "you really are something special."
and with that, the awkwardness between you dissolved, replaced by a newfound sense of closeness and understanding. you continued your walk, hand in hand â you felt something new blooming in you.Â
iv. that feeling when i love you
as you stood behind the counter of your flower shop, lost in the delicate dance of arranging petals and stems, the familiar chime of the door announced the arrival of someone special. you looked up, and your heart skipped a beat as you saw sunghoon walking in, a warm smile lighting up his face, his fangs poking out. excitement bubbled within you, and without hesitation, you set aside your work and hurried over to him, enveloping him in a tight embrace.
"hey pretty," he greeted you, his voice soft with affection as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.
a wave of warmth washed over you at his gesture, and you couldn't help but smile up at him, suddenly feeling grateful for his presence.
"hi handsome," you replied, your voice filled with love as you rested your cheek on his chest.Â
âbaby, i was thinking... would you like to go on a date with me?" he asked, his eyes shining with anticipation. "there's a flower garden event being hosted at the nearby park, and i know how much you love flowers. i thought it would be the perfect way to spend the evening together."
your heartbeat soared at his thoughtful suggestion. "that sounds wonderful," you replied, a smile spreading across your lips. "i'd absolutely love to."
sunghoon's face lit up with pure joy, his eyes glittering with delight. but then, as if realizing the weight of the moment, he suddenly seemed flustered and unsure, his cheeks and ears turning a bright shade of red.
"um, yeah, great!" he stuttered, his voice a bit shaky. "i'll⌠uh, i'll swing by after you close up shop. can't have my girl seeing me like this."
your heart melted at his adorable nervousness, and you couldn't help but giggle at his sweet attempt to play it cool.
"sure thing," you said, trying to contain your own excitement. "i'll be waiting.â
with that, sunghoon bid you a slightly clumsy goodbye, almost tripping over the steps of the shop. had he not learned his lesson from last time, this wouldâve been deja vu. you let out a laugh at his clumsiness, and he looked back at you, his smile a mix of excitement and embarrassment as he hurried out of the shop.Â
you watched him go, feeling a surge of affection for the endearing man who had captured your heart simply by breaking a vase.Â
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THE WEDDING DUTIES â P.JS
SYNOPSIS: Reuniting with your sworn enemy after years of no contact was an interesting experience to say the least. Despite having not seen each other for ages, the undeniable tension between you and him was the same, palpable. It didnât help that you and him were now forced to spend time together thanks to a wedding and completing wedding duties with each other. As people would say, forced proximity and a single bed was the solution to it, and boy it was. Two weeks in Greece and a whole lot of pre wedding activities was about to turn an old rivalry into something else, love.
PAIRINGS: best man!jay x maid of honour!afab!reader
GENRE: frenemies to lovers, he fell first but she fell harder, forced proximity, romance, fluff, angst, secret pining, slow burn
WARNING(S): drinking, parties, profanities, slight violence, mentions/hints of cheating, miscommunication, a pinch of suggestiveness
WC: 21k
AUTHOR'S NOTE: hope you all enjoy this one! i personally loved writing it and it might've taken a while but i'm glad it's here! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
masterlist | Š jaylver 2024 all rights reserved
âHateâ might be a strong word, one that was cruel and brutal that your mother taught you to not use. But, how could you not when you had a constant reminder plastered in front of your face. There were no other feelings for him except hatred that measured the exact way you felt for the man who constantly haunted you. Worst of all, youâre letting a man with a typical frat name do that to you.
Growing up, you always had a man devoted to you. Cute, wasnât it? It was particularly fun when he was specifically committed to praying for your downfall at any given chance.
Park Jong Seong.
That name and the person who carried it was the literal devil reincarnate. Well, at least to you. To most, Jay was a sweetheart, the golden boy of the area who charmed the hearts of women of all ages. Thanks to his pretty face and sweet smile, he easily swooned people and that included your family. Not you though, it could never be you. That facade would never, ever fool you.
He has been your neighbour ever since you were a kid. The boy who moved in next door that was forced to play with you from time to time. Play dates with him weren't your favourite, and neither was it for him. To say you two got off on the wrong foot was an understatement.Â
What could possibly make you hate him for all these years? Where to start?Â
He was mildly tolerable as a kid, but once he grew into a teen, God, you swore you hated teen boys and you stood by it. When Jay knew that he was a hot, smart and attractive boy, he managed to utilise it, and what better way to do so than torturing you with it.Â
Out of the many things he could pull, he decided to date your then best friend, believe it or not. The worst part of all, he ruined the friendship between you and your ex best friend because of it. What happened to bros before hoes? Anyway, you were determined to not be stepped over by the idiotic Park Jong Seong, so you went and dated his best friend too. Sweet, sweet revenge. Best of yet, there was nothing he could do but silently curse you behind your back.
Or that other time he crashed your beach date and he cockblocked your chance with his handsome best friend, Sunghoon. Asshole. Oh yeah! Let's not forget the fact that he would tease and laugh at you for coming in second every semester. Golden boy Jay and his first place was the death of you.Â
All in all, you didnât have a great time with him and you surely werenât anywhere close to being friends with him. Absolutely not.Â
The only good part was that once you finished high school and moved out of your town, you didnât see him anymore, only hearing brief mentions from your mutual friends who you still kept in contact with. There was one time where you saw a picture of him posted on Instagram and youâve never gone back since, because no matter how you hate to admit it, he was a guilty pleasure.Â
You thought your supposedly everlasting peace wouldnât be affected, yet, you were wrong.Â
The news of your cousin, Chaewon, getting engaged had taken you by complete surprise. It was no secret that she was in a long term relationship with one of your good friends, Heeseung, but the whole engagement came out of the blue and it had taken everyone aback, including her. It mightâve been unexpected but you knew it would come soon. Â
Of course Chaewon was overjoyed. She was already pulling you with her to plan the wedding and even picking out little things.Â
âYouâre going to be my maid of honour,â she said so nonchalantly that she didnât even notice you freezing in shock next to her.
âReally?â
She turned to face you, a smile wide enough to split her jaw open. Was this an effect of getting married? âYes, Y/N, Iâm sure. Youâre like a sister to me all my life, thereâs no one else Iâd like to be my maid of honour other than you,â
The conversation definitely ended with tears streaming down each of your face, sobbing sappily as you spoke about your childhood memories together. But before any wedding plans ensued, it absolutely wouldnât be them to not throw an engagement party first, so of course, they did exactly that.
The evening at their place started off well. They had a catering service and the house was decorated for the occasion. There was already a small crowd of friends and family, some of which you recognized. It didnât take you long to realise that you had to buckle in for the night after you saw Heeseungâs friends walk through the door, ones that you knew and particularly the guy youâve dreaded.
âYou good?â Yujin, your long time best friend who was practically family, walked up to you, snapping her fingers to get you out of your trance.Â
âOhâIâm alright, I think?â
âYou think?â she sighed, following your sight that was trained on a group of guys. âIs it because of Jay?â
You snapped your head to look at her, baffled at the mention of his name. âNo,â
âIâm taking that as a âyesâ,â she hummed, joining you in leaning her back against the wall in the corner of the room. âYou havenât seen him in years,â
âAnd neither has he,â you noted thoughtfully, unaware how he looked like currently. The pictures online weren't enough, you needed to see him physically. Well, he was there, but you werenât exactly thrilled to see him either.Â
âYou reckon thereâs still something going between you guys after all these years?â
You tilted your head to the side, puzzled. âWhat âsomethingâ is there even between us?â
âThe whole âI hate you, you hate meâ thing! Like, come on, just admit you want to fuck each otherââ
âShut up, oh my God!â You exclaimed, though laughing out of disbelief. You? Fucking Jay? You just bursted out laughing. âThere's no way that's happening,â
She eyed you doubtfully, shrugging. âWho knows?â
âWhat I know is that's so not happening,â
âI'm not saying anything,â
âHey!â
âLadies,â
That voice.Â
You slowly turned your gaze away from Yujin, clearly panicked and dreadful. The one person you wished to meet last for the night happened to be there in flesh, in front of you. The epitome of your nightmare, the devil in disguise, he was actually there. Plus, since when was he ever so initiative in finding you?
âJay,â Yujin acknowledged the moment you stood face to face with him. All you could think of in your head of how shamelessly you're checking him out.
Over the years of not seeing him, he has really changed. Toned and buffed, the button up he was wearing hugged him at the right places. His long legs complimented his tall frame, face seemingly more matured and handsome. Did law school do this to him?
âYujin,â he replied before his gaze flickered over to yours, suddenly plastered on a cheshire grin. âY/N,â
Rather begrudgingly and stoically, you replied. âJay,â
Yujin glanced between you and him, taking the cue to escape the tension before it heightened. âI'll go catch up with the rest of the guys. Talk to you later!â
Great. Now you're stuck with him. Yuck.
âSo, howâs life?âÂ
You raised a questioning brow, face scrunched up in disdain. Him, on the other hand, was nonchalant and carried himself coolly. âItâs a little out of your character to be this friendly to me,âÂ
âIâm trying to be civil here,â he slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, dark hair falling over his face casually.
âWell, the last time I checked, I donât think weâre exactly friends, arenât we?â
âTouche,â he considered, keeping a strong eye contact with you, his smirk never faltering once. âBut now that theyâre both getting married, I think we have no choice but to tolerate one another to have this go successfully, eh?âÂ
âWhatever you say,â you mumbled half-heartedly, thinking about Chaewon and for her sake, youâd have to put up with this bastard.Â
âI mean, youâre the maid of honour and Iâm the best man, crazy isnât it?â
âYouâre Heeseungâs best man?â
âThe one and only,â he smiled triumphantly, and you mentally knocked yourself on the head. How did you not expect this earlier?Â
âGuess I really am stuck with you,â you mumbled under your breath, seeing the smirk still not wiped off Jayâs face.
âCanât wait, angel,â
Before the conversation could go any further, the shouts of his friends from across the room snatched the attention of you two. They were calling Jay over to join them in on some drinks, signalling obviously with the bottles and cups in their hands. âI think theyâre calling me overââ he turned his head away from them and back to you, eyebrows raised. âIt was nice catching up. Iâll see you around,â He winked right after he finished his sentence and left, reminding you of his regular behaviour. Flirty and always an asshole.Â
The exchange you had with him definitely gave you a whiplash. No way was that the same Jay who you called insufferable and annoying. Was he actually being normal for once? You believed everyone has their own character development, but to think Jay had one too was a little shocking.Â
Maybe it was for the better, which meant you could finally admit heâs hot nowâwait what. Forget whatever youâve just said. What you really meant was you could talk to him like a decent being now ⌠right?
âThat was a short talk,â Yujin sidled up next to you almost on cue.Â
âI donât think thereâs much to really talk about anyway,â you accepted the cup of drink from her.
âOh, donât be too harsh! Heâs trying, so maybe you should too,âÂ
You gave it a thought, sipping wordlessly. âHm, maybe I should,â
âDefinitely,â she nodded in heavy agreement, eyes straying to the door and her face contorted in horror. You noticed it at once, wanting to see what she had seen too but before you could do so, she spun you around and away from facing the door.
âWhat?â you demanded, unnerved by the sudden twist in the air. âHey, youâre scaring meââ
âJust donât turn aroundâŚplease,â
âWhy?â you pressed on, impatience and curiosity creeping up on you. âIs there something wrong?â
She made a face. âWellâkindaâwaitââ
You spun around and ignored Yujinâs flailing arms. At first, you didnât understand what the problem was and why Yujin was making such a big deal, but once you saw what she was trying so hard to stop you from seeing, you finally understood.
Choi Yeonjun.Â
He was standing there in all his glory, having the guts to even show up. You couldnât even blame Heeseung for making him a part of the guest list though, theyâve been friends before you and Yeonjun dated. Key word, âdatedâ, past tense.Â
Horrible breakup that ended in tears and hatred was the only thing that reminded you of him. Five years down the drain, you wished you were kidding. Everyone had thought he would be your forever, but you suppose that jinxed it and made him leave you with no explanation.Â
Overnight, he had packed his bags without leaving a trace behind and next thing you knew, he was off boarding a plane to somewhere far away from you. The most ridiculous part of everything was the fact that you only found his whereabouts days after through a friend. That definitely has you crying out of pity for yourself.Â
Did he cheat? Did he hate you? Was he hiding something? Questions and questions piled upon another but no answer was given.
It took years after for you to fully move on, though having zero closure, but what could you do anyway? That didnât excuse your spite and grudge that was still present.Â
âOh,âÂ
The air had still, everyone that knew the history behind you two was shifting around awkwardly, eyeing between you and your ex. Kill you now.
âWant more whiskey?â
âNo, if I get any more drunk, Iâll start a fight,â you shook your head, pursing your lips, turning away from the sight of Yeonjun. âI need some fresh air,â
You didnât give any more time for Yujin to respond, mainly because you genuinely felt yourself almost doubling over and crying, but you didnât, obviously.Â
Storming out into the backyard, you hoped nobody saw you on the edge of panic. You werenât as prepared as you thought you would be to see your ex again. Yes, you figured he was coming, but to see him in front of your eyes, that was a whole different baggage of emotions and thoughts.
You heard the glass door sliding, quiet footsteps approaching, it got you out of your trance and turning to see who it was.
âY/N?â
By now, you had a feeling youâve turned as pale as a blank sheet of paper. The horror you were experiencing at the moment was indescribable. What and why was your ex doing there?
Seeing him up close, looking very real and not a ghost, completely frightened you. He was glowing, in a way that one has after being gone for a long while, like a glow up that many had away from home. Right, he was different, someone youâve deemed unfamiliar. All of that only made you want to throw up in anxiety.Â
You were silent, mostly in shock and not knowing what to say, which only made Yeonjun widen his eyes in alarm.
âCâcan you say something?â
No, you couldnât. In fact, if you were to speak right now, curses and horrible things and probably overdue screaming with some crying would pour out. So, nope, youâre going to be silent.
âIâm sorry,â
Heâs sorry? Wow.
You could only shake your head, opening your mouth to breathe deep so that you wouldnât combust at any second. Holding up your hand, you wished he took this as a sign to stop and leave, but you guessed that he couldnât take social cues in the end.
âJust say something, pleaseââ
âHey dude! Heeseungâs searching for you,â
Here comes another one of your nightmares, but surprisingly, you were actually glad to see him now.Â
Jay had stepped out from the inside, hand still holding the sliding glass door, a nonchalant expression on his face as he scanned the scene before him. You, looking sick as ever; Yeonjun equally looking not good.Â
âReally? Alright then,â Yeonjun croaked out, wiping his hands on the sides of his pants. Sparing you one last look, he walked towards Jay, nodding at him before disappearing past the threshold of the sliding glass doors.
You let out a breath of relief once your ex was out of sight, and hopefully, out of mind.Â
âYou good?â
You looked at Jay, forgetting his existence for a minute. âNot really,â
âHeâs a douche, isnât he?â
âYouâve probably heard what happened already, didnât you?â
âI didââ
âWell, Iâm embarrassed,â you rubbed the sides of your forehead, chewing at the insides of your mouth. Can you be swallowed up now?
âAs much as I want to say something stupid right now, I canât bring myself to, because itâs true that you didnât deserve it,â he sighed, taking a seat on one of the lounging couches. Â
Okay ⌠maybe he was an actual changed man. Shocking.
You approached him slowly, taking a seat opposite him. From that angle, you could clearly see him and how he has changed. He got taller, leaner and definitely bulkier, it was a subtle but noticeable change. Other than that, his fashion sense improved, face maturing into a more sharper look, but he still carried a certain gentleness.
âThanks,â you muttered, kicking your feet to distract yourself from his burning gaze. âI thought youâll laugh at me or something,â
âOkay, Iâm not that cruel,âÂ
âReally? Coming from the same guy that dated my best friend, who became my ex best friend,â
âYou dated my best friend too! And you tried getting with Sunghoon,â he grumbled, murmuring the last part, knowing damn well Sunghoon was inside laughing over a fresh glass of wine.
âI would still get with him,â
âNo you wonât,â
What was his problem?
âWhy not? Heâs hot,â
âIâm hot,â he blurted out, puffing his chest out in confidence. This was the same Jay that youâve remembered. âAnd I donât see you lusting over me,â
âFirst, not âlustingâ,â you scrunch your face in distaste of the word, âsecond, youâre ⌠you? Third, whatâs so wrong with Sunghoon?â
âWellâheâheâs Sunghoon, and heâs a known player,â Jay pursed his lips, crossing his arms. âI donât think you two will get along,â
âWeâre friends,â
âAs a couple,â
âHow about as fuck buddies?â
âNope,âÂ
âYouâre weird,â
âWhatever,â
You broke out into a smile, shaking your head at his antics. If you told the younger you that you were conversing with Jay without ripping each othersâ throats, you wouldâve laughed. You didnât expect yourself to laugh because of him, most of the time you were laughing at him.Â
âShould we head in? Theyâre announcing it soon and doing their speech,â you suggested, looking over his shoulders.
âYouâre right,â
âYouâre agreeing with me? Aw,âÂ
âShut up,â he stood up, but he didnât leave, instead he waited for you to stand up as well before walking in together. âI guess the next time weâll see each other is during the fitting,â
âI guess it is,â you nodded slowly, trying to remember the date of the fitting that your cousin had once mentioned. âUnless youâre intending that weâll meet elsewhere?â
âYou wish,â he said snarkily. âYouâll miss me, wonât you?â
âYou wish,â you repeated his exact words in mockery, smiling sarcastically at him.
He shrugged, a lazy smirk forming on his lips. âMaybe I do.âÂ
The words didnât fully process in your mind, but he was already off to join his friends before you realised. Did he justâwhat? You were going insane.Â
Maybe the hatred from over the years was slowly but surely dissipating because how and why in hell was Park Jong Seong tolerable? How did you find yourself not exploding in his presence? Character growth was what you two needed after all.
Probably also a secret hook up.
Just as youâve thought, the next time you saw Jay was exactly as he had said: the fitting.Â
Except, you were screaming internally. Why? You were literally stuck with Jay and the two lovebirds. You didnât expect receiving the news of doing the fitting with them and Jay alone, thinking it was a group thing with the other bridesmaids. No, in fact, they wanted it to be a maid of honour and best man special. Just great.
The boutique was fancy, like very. Serving champagne and having two floors with marble tiles, the inside already smelt more expensive than it let alone looked. Heeseung mustâve been doing well after taking over his fatherâs place in the company.
âAlright, first, Iâve already narrowed down some looks, but I have a specific dress that I chose which I think itâll look really good on you,â Chaewon practically squealed, grabbing your shoulders with pure excitement in her eyes. You were about to be her barbie doll for hours. âI think itâll match Jayâs suit too,â
Sheâs making you and Jay match?
âNice, haha âŚâ you gulped, masking your negative approach, not wanting to irk Chaewon when this meant a lot to her. But matching with Jay? Him? You knew you were being overdramatic but how could you not when it was him. However, you understood Chaewonâs need for matching aesthetics.
âIâm sure itâs going to look amazing on you!â she said excitedly. âThe changing rooms are upstairs, you can go with Jay first since Heeseung and I need to settle something, so wait for us, okay?â
âSure,â you nodded rather stiffly, leaving Chaewon to join the staff and Jayâs side.Â
âItâs you again,â he greeted you, eyeing you with an odd look on his face. How friendly.Â
âYes, itâs me again, and I should be the one saying the same to you. Unfortunately, youâll also be seeing me for months,â you hissed, following the staff up the fancy marble steps, letting Jay walk closely next to you. âEven in Greece,â you grumbled under your breath.
Mykonos, Greece. The destination youâll be in half a yearâs time, enjoying the wedding and basking in the prettiness of the island. It wasnât entirely surprising for Chaewon to choose Greece as her wedding destination, it has been in her mood board for almost years. Although it mightâve been expensive, you were just glad it wasnât in some shady area downtown.Â
âIsnât it amazing to be in the same space as I am?âÂ
âPlease, youâre hugely insufferable,â you put your hand out, pulling a disgusted expression as a reaction.
âI just have personality! You wonât get it,â he slyly took a dig at you, letting you digest it and realised what he meant but by the time you wanted to reply, the staff stopped and turned around.
âThe changing rooms thereââ she pointed over to a large area with cushioned chairs and mirrors, two separate curtains for each changing place, a cover bag hung on the walls of each changing area, âalready have your outfits which the couple hand picked. So please, help yourself out. Thereâll be staffs waiting outside if you need any help,â
You and Jay casted a brief glance at each other before nodding, awkwardly shuffling towards the changing area. The last sight before drawing your curtains closed was Jayâs back, broad and exposed since he momentarily forgot to close his. Shutting out the image of that was hard as you got the dress on, not even able to pay attention until you saw your reflection in the mirror. It was a simple silky pink dress, one that was in Chaewonâs favourite shade and the specific cut that hugged your body tightly.Â
The voices of Heeseung and Chaewon were heard from the other side of the curtains, which meant they were finally here to make their judgements. You revealed yourself, stepping out with an awkward laugh. âWhat do you think?â
âItâs so pretty,â Chaewon gushed, spinning you around, scanning your body. âYouâre so pretty, Y/ N.â
âIâll blush,â
Chaewon rolled her eyes at your sarcasm. âHey, whereâs Jay? We need to see the matching outfit!â
âHere,â he pulled the curtains open a little too dramatically at the mention of his name, smoothing the fronts of his suit. He was dressed in a dark coloured suit, a silk pink tie paired to match you.
âYou guys are just too cute together,â Chaewon pushed you gently closer to Jay, staring between you and him in awe. Unbeknownst to her, you and Jay were groaning internally, glaring daggers at each other.Â
Your cousin who didnât go to the same high school as you did with Jay was absolutely oblivious to the history you two have, and you were sure Heeseung didnât tell her either. That sick bastard probably enjoyed you and Jay suffering together, didnât he?
âItâs so perfect,â Chaewon sighed dreamily, suddenly emotional as she leaned on her fiance. âI love you guys,â
âBabe, itâs too early to be this emotional,â Heeseung gave her shoulder a soft squeeze.Â
âYouâre right, oh my God,â she laughed, followed by you and the othersâ chuckles. âNow that I know you two look absolutely perfect, Heeseung and I are going to confirm it with the staffs and settle some little things, so just take your time and change, then weâll go for lunch,â
âSounds good,â you took a step away from Jay, rubbing your cousinâs back in assurance.Â
âDonât do anything weird,â Chaewon whispered into your ear, eyeing Jay as she spoke, hoping you got the hint she was trying to convey.Â
No way.
âWeâre not fucking, okay?â
âAre you sure? Iâm sensing something there,â
âThereâs nothing to sense because weâre not into each other. At all,â
âSure, whatever you say,â she winked at you, patting your butt with a sneaky smirk, then left with Heeseung, which meant youâre with Jay again.
âThis tie is pretty cute, isnât it?â he suddenly spoke out of nowhere, toying his tie with a slight pout.Â
âThatâs really random, but yes,â
He glanced up from his tie, meeting your gaze with an unreadable expression. His eyes were narrowed, travelling up and down your body, jaws clenched. It seemed that thoughts were conquering his mind, and you, on the other hand, read him like a book. Heâs a man after all. Theyâre all alike.Â
A small conniving smirk on your face as you approached him, never breaking eye contact once. Hands behind your back, chest pushed out, revealing your cleavage a little more, all while you bat your eyelashes innocently at him, only a few inches in between. Â
âHow do I look?â
There was an audible gulp from him. It was a blessing that there weren't any staff around, or else you would have suffered from embarrassment that nothing could get you back from.Â
âNice,â Jay practically gritted out, heaving a big breath in.
âJust ⌠nice?â
His eyes flitted between you and your chest, gaze flickering and composure weakening. âFantastic, pretty, gorgeous,â
He was so easy to read and play with.Â
You stepped away from him, laughing under your breath, a gleeful grin that irked Jay, who knew it was just one of your schemes. But it was too late to come back from, how could he when you looked like that? As much as he hated it, you were stunning, and he was aware of every part of it.
âThank you,â you smiled evilly, only getting a look of annoyance and an irritated eye roll from Jay.Â
Turning around, you walked towards the changing area, hearing footsteps behind you, which also meant Jay was following you. Before you disappeared behind the curtains, you wanted to set his buttons off just one more time.Â
âAre my nipples showing?âÂ
Jay did not expect that. However, this time he was smarter and sharper, so no, he wasnât about to fall for one of your tricks. Keeping his stare straight ahead at you, he shrugged.
âAre you somehow forgetting that I happen to beâI donât knowâa man?â
âWhatâs wrong with nipples?â
âNothing,â he shrugged, an irritated look on his face. âI'm just not falling into the grave you've dug. Nice try, L/N,â he said with a finality before drawing his own curtains shut.Â
The sassy men apocalypse was never ending.
The rest of the day was practically spent with the couple, from lunch to dinner, your legs were dying from walking too much. Adding on the fact that you and Jay were stuck as fourth wheelers too. At the end, Heeseung and Chaewon entrusted Jay to drop you off at your apartment, which he surprisingly didn't complain about and you also got the chance to sit in his Mercedes for the first time.
âYou didn't talk about what you're doing now, so what are you doing?â It was most likely the awkward tension that forced you to speak up, but you didn't regret it either, wanting to know more about him. Now, that was development.
Jay glanced at you for a brief second, as if in disbelief that you were the one initiating a peaceful conversation. âI opened a law firm quite recently, that's why I'm back in town. I partnered with Sunghoon,â
âSunghoon?â
âYeah, Sunghoon,â he repeated his best friend's name again, a hint of annoyance laced in his voice. âYou'll get to see me more often now,â
âAnd you'll equally see me just as often too,â you bit back. âMaybe I'll even turn up at your office and give Sunghoon a visit,â
âYou wound me,â Jay pouted, feigning cries that sounded like choked laughter instead. âI'm here in front of you and you're talking about another man? Wow,â
âYou're not just another man like him,â you said, unaware of the meaning behind your words and confusedly seeing the small smirk forming on Jay's lips.Â
âThen what about you? What have you been up to?â He strayed back to the subject, waiting for your response.
âNothing much, I guess? Still the same ol' office work. My boss recently proposed sending me off on a trip to Paris as a way to reward me for being his PA for years,â
âDid you accept it?â
âDoes it look like I did?â
âTouche,â he hummed, turning a corner and the familiar roads leading to your apartment came into view. âWhat made you reject it?â
âWell, everything that's happening right now, I guess? I want to be present. Plus, he told me the offer is still up anytime,â
âYour boss is amazing,â he said in awe. âMaybe I'll go work for him instead,â
âAnd cause me to deal with you? No thanks,â
âOh, you love me, admit it,â
âYeah, sure, I want you and love youâgrossâno way,â you laughed, pushing away Jay's body that was leaning towards your side, his eyebrows raised and gaze flickering between you and the road.
Soon, the car ride came to an end once Jay stopped at the front of your apartment complex. It was already dark outside and Jay somehow felt your uneasiness as you unbuckle your seatbelt.
âDo you need me to walk you up?â
âOhâit's fine, I don't want to bother you further,â you genuinely didn't, internally surprised at his straightforwardness. âOr, do you want to come up?â
âNo, no, it's okay,â Jay's eyes widened for a fraction, just as surprised as you were. âYou should rest, it's been a long day,â
âRight,â you said slowly, not knowing what else to say or do. âThanks for the ride, I really appreciate it,â
âIt's nothing, don't worry,â Suddenly, it felt like high school all over again. The awkwardness and stiffness, you didn't miss those. However, this time around, tolerance was present and you found yourself gradually enjoying his presence. Shocking.
âNight, Jay,â
He smiled, gentleness that you only see from time to time was in his gaze. âNight, Y/N. I'll see you again soon.â
âLook, you need this time off! It's a Saturday night, Y/N,â
âI should be in bed,â
âYou should be getting laid,âÂ
Taking up your friends' invite to the club was probably not the smartest move you've made. Having not been out with them in a long time, you forgot the fact that they were crazy party people. The last time you were out with them was after your break up, and it only ended with you drunk out of your mind, almost turning up at Yeonjunâs house in spite. Now, you were in for a long night.
âLast thing I need is getting laid,â
Your girlfriends, Yujin, Wonyoung and Karina stared at you with doubt in their faces.Â
âYou need to get that pent up stress fucked out of your system,â Karina teased, nudging your side.Â
The other two nodded in shared agreement, obviously entertained.Â
âMaybe, maybe not,â you said half-heartedly, swirling your drink with a distracted mind.
Your time in the club wasn't the most eventful. Men trying to flirt with you that you ended up shutting down, some of which took it like a champ while there were ones that acted as if youâve ended their entire bloodline. Then there were your friends. Karina was busy cosying up to the bartender, the other two wandered off into the crowded dance floor already, so you were alone at the side watching Karina use her usual flirting tricks.
âDidnât expect seeing you here,â
Turning around on your barstool, you were met with a face that changed a lot since high school.
âSunghoon?â
The times youâve spent joking about him to tease Jay somehow manifested him to show up in front of you. You didnât get the chance to speak to him at the engagement party, unaware that he had changed in some ways physically. He was just as pretty as he was, except more mature and hair dyed in a different shade. Not to mention the way he carried himself with confidence and grace, it definitely had you feeling things you shouldnât be having, especially when he was standing ever so close to you.
âYouâre here alone?â
âOh, no, Iâm here with my friends,â you nodded over at Karina, who was still obviously making a move on the bartender from her touches on his shoulder. âYou?â
âIâm here with mine too, you know, the usual bunch,â
âSo, Jay, Heeseung and Jake are all here?â
âHeeseungâs staying at home, I suppose getting engaged changed that man in some ways,â Sunghoon snickered, but you only smiled, understanding Chaewonâs reasons for being protective of Heeseung at times. âDo you want to join us?â
âItâs fine, thank you. I donât want to trouble you guys, I still am on duty to look out for my girls,â you sighed a little, hoping the other two weren't off with some men they just met. âI can buy you a drink though,â
âNah, itâs no need,â he politely declined, hands slipped into his pants pocket. âI feel like I should be the one offering that,â
You just chuckled, eyes flickering over his shoulder, not expecting them to land on him. Park Jong Seong. He was looking back at you, gaze sharp and eyes narrowed, a frown etched on that pretty face.Â
What you hadnât failed to notice was the girl next to him. She was talking feverishly, trying to grab his slipping attention as he trained his stare on you. Just like Sunghoon, both him and the girlâs voices only faded into the background for you and Jay individually, unable to turn your attention away from each other.Â
âYou okay?â Sunghoon leaned in closer, waving a hand in front of your face, snapping you back to reality.Â
âHuhâIâm fine,â you chuckled nervously, occasionally flickering to Jayâs direction, realising he was no longer staring unabashedly at you, which also made you realise: you were actually craving for his attention? What?Â
âProbably a little woozy, is all,â you added, smiling slightly.Â
Sunghoon reciprocated your smile, nodding a little. âTake care, then, Y/N. Donât drink too much and call a cab. Gotta go first, Iâll see you around,âÂ
âSee you,â
Once Sunghoon was gone from your side, you finally had the chance to have some space to breathe and take in whatever that was earlier on. You couldnât ignore it, how could you? Not when he was staring daggers at the back of his best friendâs head and sending you signals through his eyes, all with a girl next to him, unbelievable.Â
His constant appearance was unhealthy for you, and after what he pulled, he was the only thing you could think of, slick bastard. You made sure Chaewon was safe and well before making a bee-line towards the restrooms, having to squeeze through crowds and pass by couples making out, you were about to turn a corner when you felt a hand tugging your wrist.Â
One pull was enough for you to stumble over your feet and stumble into someoneâs chest, specifically the person who had their hand on you. It was predictable, way too predictable that it was cliche at this point.
âJay?â
âOhâY/N,âÂ
Why was he acting dumb?
Your eyebrows were raised in question, face pulled into an expression that was screaming âwhat the fuckâ, but internally, being this close to him, wasnât too bad of an idea. You were a hypocrite, and maybe a whore too.
âI saw you just now and I thought I wanted to say hi, you know?âÂ
âReally?â you stepped back a little, because the closer you were to him, the more insane you were becoming.
âYeah,â he breathed out, alcohol evident in his breath. âAlso saw you with Sunghoon,â
You rolled your eyes, a smirk itching on the way to the corner of your lips. âHe was nice,â
ââNiceâ,â he echoed thoughtfully, tongue sweeping over his lips, grabbing your attention almost at once.Â
âAre you drunk?â
He shrugged. âMaybe,â
âIâm taking that as a âyesâ,â you sighed, glancing down at his relentless hold, but not complaining either. If he was drunk, surely he was truthful too, right? âWere you jealous?â
He was silent for a second, as if trying to digest your question thoroughly. Without any ounce of hesitation, he answered with his full chest. âYeah,â
Jay was jealous? Was he just playing with you?
âDonât like seeing you with Hoon,â he mumbled, leaning more of his weight onto you and you had to press your back against the wall for more support. This position had you dying on the inside. He was close, breath fanning onto your face, his expensive cologne entering your senses. âWant you all to myself,â
âThought you hated me,â you swallowed down a gasp, whispering out quietly.
ââHateâ? Maybe mildly intolerable but youâre ⌠you. How could I hate you?â
That was something new.Â
You could only blink. He didnât hate you as much as you had expected? Was there something more to this? Was Jay hiding untold truths that he kept secret? Before you could uncover more, Jake came tumbling around and ripped Jay off you, seemingly much sober than Jay was, a little pissed off as well.
âMotherfucker, youâre hereââ he turned, expecting to see some random chick he was huddling up onto, but realisation dawned on his face when it turned out to be you, ââY/N? WaitâJayâyouâIââ he was lost for words, catching a pair of sworn enemies together almost too scandalously. Oh, for sure he was going to blabber this out.Â
âYouâre taking him away, right?â you ignored his shock, hoisting Jay into Jakeâs arms, prying his hold away, losing the overall warmth emitted from him.Â
âYeah,â he said, uneasy and still mildly surprised.Â
âHeâs all yours, buddy. Heâs a little out of it but still functioning. So, Iâll get going first!â
âHow did thisâohâbye!â he couldnât even finish asking his question when you dashed away into the crowd, leaving a dazed Jay hanging on the side of Jake, where Jake wished Sunghoon hadnât gone off with some girl now that he needed help.
Now, you need to be drunk and crash into the abyss before you wake up in the morning to overthink about what Jay said.Â
Overthinking was definitely what you did the next day.Â
Hangover headache and being haunted by Jay's words was not a great combination for your head and you. Maybe you were semi-drunk when you heard it, but what he said did affect you, and in that moment, you wanted to bring him home.
As much as you wanted to avoid him, his presence was simply inevitable.Â
Chaewon had sent out an invite to lunch with the bridesmaids, groomsmen and some selected close friends, you and him were involved obviously. You were grateful that Chaewon was making an effort to plan activities together for the months leading up to her wedding, but God, being with Jay was intoxicating.
You were supposed to dislike him. What happened to all the years of hatred and rivalry? Yet, you couldn't bring yourself to feel that way anymore. He had invoked something else in you that you were afraid to admit. A feeling that you were scared to have after your last relationship.
"Hey," you heard someone calling out to you while you were already seated at the long table. You glanced up from your phone to see Jay sliding in from your right onto the seat next to you.Â
"Hi," you greeted back, noticing how much more sober and awake he was this time. "Doing okay? Surprised that you didn't fall into a ditch or something,"
"Haha," He let out sarcastically, straightening out his jacket, eyebrows scrunched. "A little tired, that's all,"
The way Jay didn't bring up whatever happened between you and him was weird. Did he remember what he said? Was he pretending to not know?
"You got home late yesterday? Do you remember seeing me at the club?"
He was taking some time to process and rethink back to his night out, then he shrugged. "I think I did? It was kinda hazy. I remembered Jake slapping me awake in my apartment though," he laughed, and you did too, more forcefully, trying to hide the miniscule disappointment that was bubbling internally. "You got home safe, right?"Â
"I did," you could still somehow remember Yujin's body falling on top of yours in the taxi, being the only one who's not fully drunk, you cursed your high tolerance.
You were about to reach for your glass when you felt your phone buzz, the screen lighting up just in time to see Yujin's message.
yujin: head's up, asshole's coming
Of course he was. You were glad Heeseung didn't include him in his groomsmen roster considering they were close, but to have his presence around was simply suffocating.
"I'm so fucked,"
"Why?"Â
You looked around, noticing familiar faces joining the table. Your friends had arrived too, but they placed their belongings on the seat beside you and left once they saw you with Jay. Whether it was on purpose or not, you didn't know.
"Yeonjun,"
Jay's mouth formed an 'O', nodding slowly. "Why did Heeseung invite him anyway? Me and the guys don't really know him,"
"But Heeseung does. That's how Chaewon and him met. It was through me and Yeonjun," you sighed, shrugging. "What can I do? There's nothing much for me to say or do,"
"You can show him,"
"Show him what?"
"That you're happier,"
"Well, I am," you threw your hands up. "I think?"
"You think?" He chuckled, shaking his head a little. "Just ignore him. You're over him now anyway, don't give him the attention that he wants,"
"You're right, thank you,"
"It's nothing," he smiled, one that was gentle and understanding, a new kind that you've just discovered.
Soon, everyone had arrived, Yeonjun included, who made sure to sit further away from you, and before the lunch started, there was the obligatory speech from the bride and groom to be.Â
In the meantime, the table was much smaller than anticipated, everyone was shuffling around, trying to get closer, moving their chair to be closer. So, there you were, sitting closer to Jay with barely some space in between.
You were ignoring him at all cost, especially when he accidentally brushed against you, leaned in too close trying to grab a plate, or when he even poured your drink for you. Nope, you were not falling for him or his tricks.
"Can you get me that bowl over there?" Suddenly, he was whispering by your ear, shooting you his best attempt of pleading eyes as you rolled yours.
"What if I said no?" You teased, hand already reaching for the bowl unknowingly.
"You won't,"Â
"I hate you," you hated the effect he had on you, or the fact that he was so smug and confident. Gosh, you hate him to the point where it somehow made him tolerable.
"That's kinda hotâthanks," he winked at you as he took the bowl from your hold, unaware of your flushed cheeks. Why were you letting him cause such a reaction from you?
You coughed a little, shaking off his words and pressing your lips into a thin line. "I heard Yunjin's coming to the wedding too," you brought up a mutual friend in order to change the subject away from the current situation, though it was just you that suffered whereas Jay was oblivious.
"Yunjin? That girl from high school?" Jay's eyebrows were furrowed thoughtfully at the mention of the girl.Â
"I hope you have the right one in mind, but yes. She's a good friend of Chaewon and I. I thought you knew her?"
"I do, I think? I do remember having a teeny crush on her though," Jay shrugged, stabbing his fork into the salad and bringing it to his mouth.Â
You pursed your lips, not knowing what to do with that information. "I kinda get it, she's an all american beauty. Are you going to hit her up at the wedding?"
"I don't know. Haven't seen her in years either. Why? You're trying to set me up? Get me out of your hair?" Jay leaned his body close, his lips curled into a sly smirk that you wished to wipe off his face.
"Just asking! I mean, she's a total catch,"
Jay shook his head softly, returning his attention back to his food with a small smile. "Why would I care about her when I already have a total catch by my side?"
Your head snapped to look at him, but was only met with a completely nonchalant Jay who continued with his meal. Did he seriously say that? And you did hear him correctly enough to know that you weren't mistaken. Wow, the man that you swore was your rival somehow became a mildly tolerable man that flirts with you? Someone wake you up, now!
"I wouldn't mind if you do set me up though," he whispered, earning a loud eye roll from you in return.
The lunch eventually ended with a heartful dessert and a tearful speech from the soon bride and groom. Throughout the meal, you were actively dodging Yeonjun's wishful gazes, moreover praying he would actually disappear instead. You could tell he wanted to approach you after, but for the first time, you were thankful for Jay's annoying presence popping up.Â
"Your ex keeps glaring at me like I did something wrong," Jay raised his eyebrows, cocking his head at Yeonjun's direction.
"Don't blame me. I don't know what's his problem either considering he's the one who disappeared," you clicked your tongue, heaving a sigh of exasperation. "I can't believe I not only have to deal with him but also you at the wedding,"
Jay shot you a look, seemingly offended. "Okay, but at least I'm the nicer one between him and I,"
"Define 'nicer'," you started walking and he joined your side, hands shoved into his pants pockets.
"At least I didn't ghost you physically,"
"Alright, low blow. Plus, you're too much of an annoying entity to disappear anyway,"
"Ouch," he placed a hand on his face, feigning a hurt look despite cracking a laugh. "You won't be getting rid of me anytime soon,"
"How fun," you deadpanned, eliciting a small smirk from the latter.Â
"Just like old times, eh?" He leaned in close to you, the scent of his cologne wafted into your senses. For a moment there, you thought you were hypnotised, until you came back to reality and gently shoved his face away.
"Hope not, don't want you cock blocking my chances with your friend again,"
It was Jay's turn to groan. "Seriously? Hoon again? Let him go,"
"I'm kidding, partially," you made a face, shrugging playfully. "You're acting like you hate the guy,"
"Whatever," he waved it off, a grumpy frown on his face that made you giggle quietly. "Your friends are waitingâ" he nodded at where your friends stood, all of which were waving at you to join them, "âso I guess I'll see you around then, L/N,"
"Until then, Park."
It was unexplainable, but your goodbyes with him were always sincere despite the amount of banter and unseriousness. A part of you wished there was something more that brought you two together other than the wedding itself, but what if the wedding was your chance to create something beyond this push and pull?
You ignored your friends' watchful stares when you approached. They all knew, you knew too, that maybe there was something changing in the dynamics that you built in the past. Maybe it wasn't hate that you feel anymore.Â
Who told Chaewon to let Heeseung take charge of the next activity?
Honestly, you were aware of the fact that you were simply unfit. But to combine that and having to be under the hot sun was a killer combo for you and your friends. Were you going to complain to your cousin, however? No. A happy bride-to-be was all you needed to make sure everything went well.
A very classic Heeseung thing to do was to arrange a football match that only he and his friends probably enjoyed. You tried being optimistic by treating it as a new experience only to be humbled by the scorching sun. Well, that totally burnt your expectations away. The only reassurance you had for the day was knowing your ex wasn't there.Â
It was automatically split into two teams. Bridesmaids against groomsmen. You didn't know how that was fair but you didn't question it either for the sake of the spirits of a pre wedding game.Â
You have never once touched a football in your life, neither did most of your friends, but the moment you met Jay's challenging gaze, you knew you had to turn into prime Messi to attempt at a win. This match was about to be a renaissance of the Ronaldo and Messi rivalry, except a more complicated and dumbed down version.
"Okay girls," you and the rest of the bridesmaids huddled together before the match started, a plan in mind that you knew could be put to play. "Here's what we can do. We might not know how to play football, but we know how to play with men's minds, right?" A hum of agreement passed through the group.
"Pretend you're injured, do whatever you can, get to their minds and distract them, then we can get past their defence easily. Look, I know what you guys can pull, so I trust you. Let's get this win!"Â
Manipulation was the key to your success.Â
Chaewon casted a small smirk at you, and you smiled innocently back at her before she went to where the referee stood, preparing for kick off. It was between her and Heeseung that would be the first to get possession of the ball.Â
It was barely noticeable, but you caught it. Chaewon was slyly flirting with Heeseung, and by the time the whistle blew, Heeseung was a second too late and Chaewon got possession of the ball.
You started running, not knowing where your feet were bringing you, but all you did was train your focus on the ball. It was hard not to panic when the ball landed beneath your feet, and you suddenly grew respect for footballers.Â
It didn't last long when the ball was kicked out of your possession by the one and only, Park Jong Seong. Since when was he a pro at defending?
You huffed in indignation as you watched him sprint away with the ball. Oh you were so going to get it back.
You dashed towards him until you reached his side. What was football without playing a little dirty? So, you used your shoulder to bump into him, causing him to lose his footing and giving you an opportunity to win it back and passing it to Yujin.Â
"Wow, L/N," Jay exclaimed, giving you a look of either admiration or annoyance. "Who knew you could be this ⌠rough?"
"Shut it, Park,"Â
He let out a humorous laugh before running off to join the rest of the action. You were clearly dumbfounded but you regained your composure not long after.Â
The bridesmaids were getting closer to the groomsmen's goalpost and in a blink of an eye, Yujin made a swift kick to the ball and it hit the back of the net, scoring the bridesmaid team their first goal. Maybe you do get footballers a little more now that you were screaming and joining the girls for a huddle, jumping around like you've already won the entirety of the match.
"Alright, we just need to last another 50 minutes," Yujin quickly chimed in once every one of you calmed down from the high.
Her reminder did eventually bring you back to reality.Â
The fifteen minute half time break wasn't much of a help either. By the time you were done catching your breath, the whistle blew and the second half commenced. There wasn't much action at the start considering everyone was getting tired, but when you noticed the groomsmen were picking up and attacking your side of the defence, you knew you had to step up your game.
You realised Jay was the one with the ball, making his way towards the goalpost, and crazily, your first instinct was to attempt a tackle on him. Right, a man who stood at five foot ten was going to be easily tackled by you. Seeing as he didn't budge, you did the second most crazy thing you thought of. You yanked onto him.Â
Boy, did that work, maybe a little too well.Â
He lost his footing, football rolling to God knows where, falling back in slow motion as he grabbed your arm like it was an opportunity for you to go down with him too. Everything happened at almost the slowest speed possible, your eyes widened, never leaving his panicked gaze as you fell face first onto him.Â
Thankfully, you landed on his chest, not anywhere else. The accident itself went unnoticed by everyone else as the groomsmen scored their first goal, too busy basking in the glory to figure out one of them was on the ground, the maid of honour on top of him.
You didn't think it was humanly possible at all. To be on top of him, your chest pressing against his firm, hardâshut upâyou meant his much firmer chest, hands grabbing onto his wide shoulders. There was only a minimal distance between your face and his. You could almost count the freckles on his cheeks or feel his breath on your face. Neither of you moved.
"I see you really like it rough, don't you?" Jay was the first to speak up, a smirk creeping up on his sweat stained face.
You blinked, and soon registered everything happening around you. The momentary brain fog wore off and you pushed yourself off of him, breathing deeply and heart beating quickly. Why was your heart beating this fast for him? Was it his eyes that caused your heart to skip a beat? Or was it his smile lines that render you speechless?
You didn't dare to look at him, sitting there rather quietly as you heard him grunt, hoisting himself up into a sitting position. You felt him glancing at you, but you remained passive.
"Is this your first time being on top of a man?"
That was enough to get you to look at him. "What?"
"Nevermind," he mumbled, dusting grass off his front. "Are you okay?"
"Shouldn't I ask you that instead?"
"Oh yeah, considering how you pulled onto me then proceeded to use me as a landing cushion," Jay grumbled, mostly lightheartedly, but you couldn't help feeling guilty.
"Sorry," you winced.
"It's fine. I'm not seriously injured either. You're lucky you're cute,"
"Whatâ"
"Woah, you guys didn't get into a brawl, did you?" Heeseung rushed over just in time to cut your reaction off. You were in a state of mild shock, questioning if your ears had heard that right.
The rest of the game progressed with nothing much and ended in a draw. You ignored the quiet teasings from the other bridesmaids, trying your best to seem casual but it failed the moment Jay approached you.
"Good game," he handed you a bottle of cold water, to which you accepted gladly, secretly surprised at his assertiveness.
"Even after I throttled you?"
He let out a laugh, clearly amused and shaking his head. "Seems like old habits between us never died, huh? Always so competitive,"
"Same goes to you, Park, almost lost an ankle out there,"
"But at least you got to fall onto me, right?"
You scoffed, feeling heat creeping up the back of your neck. "Don't flatter yourself, it was an accident,"
"Mhm," he hummed, the playful smile still present and irking you, but a part of you was thinking how cute he looked. It didn't help that his shirt was stuck against his skin because of the sweat and you could see a faint outline of his abs and muscles. You were just a girl after all. "Didn't hear you complaining when it happened,"
"Okayâ"
"Are we the lovebirds here or is it actually you two?" Chaewon swooped in with a big knowing grin, purposely wiggling her eyebrows at you.
"We're not lovebirds," you and Jay answered in unison, then heads snapping to look at each other incredulously.
"You need to stop copying me, it's getting old," you said, causing him to drop his jaw.
"I'm so not copyingâ"
"Right, right," Chaewon interjected, sparing you from another banter with Jay. "Let's go wash up and grab some food after, shall we?"
"Sounds good," you wrapped your arm around your cousin, staring pointedly at Jay.
"Yeah, it'd be great,"
"Good!" Chaewon exclaimed before either of you could utter another word. "Let's go then."
The food was good, but most importantly, you were fresh and clean. The only problem was the fact you were struggling to eat from the constant eye contact with Jay. He might've been sitting a couple seats away from you, but his eyes would stray to you.Â
It was already hard to swallow the day's interaction with him, but to top it off with this was simply overwhelming. What was he doing to you?Â
Whatever he was doing, you didn't want him to stop.
Time was passing by too fast. Way too fast.Â
Chaewon surely knew how to keep you busy. From planning to activities, you were roped into all of them till the point where you've lost your concept of time. Pottery, painting and baking classes were the most memorable activities you had with the bridesmaids, and there were regular brunches or dinners with the groomsmen. Either way, all of those were soon memories as you currently prepared for your flight to Greece. Two weeks in Greece. Who gave Chaewon the idea of having her bachelorette party there too?
You know what, at least you got the chance to sit in business class. Chaewon, being the person she was, insisted on upgrading every groomsmen and bridesmaids to business class. There were countless arguments and conflict due to the fact that she was shouldering it, but she shut it down immediately. So, what else could you and the others do but listen and accept it gracefully.
It really was a different atmosphere being in business class. You were praying you got the single seat by the window, but with a glance at your ticket, you realised your seat was in the middle where a two seats sat side by side, seperated by a divider. May you get a rich business man that would take you around Greece for free.
"You again?"
Maybe you have to scratch that idea out.
You looked up from your seat, already all settled in, just to meet Jay's unamused gaze. Him again. Chaewon and Heeseung definitely had a thing to do with this whole setup. Â
"You?" You eyed him from head to toe, taking in his hoodie clad body and grey sweatpants covered lower half. "What are you doing in my presence?"
"Why, I'm sorry, my majesty. It seems like I am sitting beside you," he hoisted his backpack up to the overhead compartment, flashing a little of his tummy and that happy trail of his. What the fuck. Before he could catch you staring, you averted your attention just as he plopped down onto the seat next to you, a contented sigh leaving his lips. "Man, business class truly is different,"
"I don't know how Chaewon is affording all these," you took a look around, spotting a few familiar faces.Â
"Heeseung's loaded, remember? His family, his job," Jay let out a low whistle.
"Good for Chaewon, then,"
"Good for us too."
Take off was fairly peaceful knowing Jay was too engrossed into whatever movie he had on. You, on the other hand, was trying to get some sleep before any crying babies started wrecking havoc, or worse, Jay speaking. It didn't last long when food was served and Jay decided it was time to take a break from his movie.
"What are you eating?" Jay took a peek over the divider to see which menu you selected.
"Shrimp fried rice. Since when did you become so nosy?" Ironically, you secretly took a look at his food too, some wonton noodles with side dishes.Â
"Trying to be nice to my neighbour that I'm stuck with for over ten hours. I'm being the bigger person here,"Â
"Bigger person, yeah," you mumbled under your breath, stabbing into your shrimp fried rice.Â
"You know, I would really like to recreate Mamma Mia in Greece," it seemed that sometimes a filter didn't exist for Jay.
"Which part? The musical? The baby daddy disaster? Wedding off your own daughter? Having a love life crisis at your daughter's wedding?" At least you were mildly entertained.
Jay snorted, pointing at his paused screen, and that was when you realised he was actually watching Mamma Mia. "Probably the musical part. You know, 'Dancing Queen', classic,"
"Didn't know you roll with ABBA like that," why was his attractiveness level increasing? You were seeing him in a different light day by day and you didn't know if that was a good or bad thing for you.
"What can I say? I'm an attractive man with good music taste,"
"Then why are you still single?"
"We don't talk about that."
Fair to say the rest of the journey has been peaceful. Jay might've chimed in from time to time but he actually mostly made you laugh, unaware that he was staring at your smile and the way your eyes crinkled in happiness. Sleep was definitely the star of the show. It was what you did for most of the flight until it was time for landing, groggily waking up to an already freshly awake Jay. How did he do it? You didn't know.Â
"I shook you awake for 20 times and you couldn't wake up," Jay leaned over and whispered, receiving a tired eye roll from you.
"I can't believe travelling is this tiring," you sighed, straightening your back against the seat.
"The wedding week is about to be more tiring,"
"Don't remind me about it,"Â
You were holding onto your last piece of peace before the wedding, truly.Â
From exiting the plane to going through the usual airport measures, Jay has never strayed far from you. Surprisingly, you didn't mind it either. The two of you navigated through the airport, not sparing the occasional bicker as Jay was insisting on turning right while you insisted on turning left. Turns out, it was to head straight for the exit.Â
You shared a cab together to the hotel Chaewon specifically booked so that you could meet with the others. It was awkward having to explain to the driver that you and Jay were not a couple after he called you two a beautiful pair, the language barrier didn't help anything at all, leaving the rest of the journey to your destination a little silent.
The hotel was genuinely a sight for sore eyes. Upon arriving, you had to check if it was the right place, and it really was. The hotel overlooked the sea, there even was an infinity pool by the edge of the cliff. You wondered how you managed to get here, to this beautiful getaway.
It didn't take long before the others arrived, including Chaewon and Heeseung themselves. You and Jay were busy chatting with Chaewon while the others already checked into the hotel rooms, unaware about the existing problems until Heeseung came sounding them. Supposedly everyone was meant to get their own rooms, but there seemed to be a mix up in the amount of single rooms and there were one room short. Everyone basically already had their own rooms ⌠except for you and Jay.
Of course it's going to be you and Jay.
"So, it's fully booked out? That's the only room left?" You, Jay, and the actual couple surrounded the counter, mildly distressedâwell, mostly you and Jay wereâthe other two had other thoughts in mind.
"Yes, Miss. We're so sorry about the mistake. We can offer complimentary services as a way to repay you,"
Screw those complimentary services, you were on the edge of a meltdown.Â
"What about an extra single bed for the room? For free?" Chaewon chimed in, flashing her sparkly eyes in addition to the very reasonable repayment.
"We can do that," the receptionist was quick to answer, putting on a pretty forced friendly smile.
"Wait, so we're sharing rooms?" Jay interrupted, sounding a little confused.
"Glad to see you're only catching on now," you seethed through your teeth, glaring rather unhappily at him.
None of you complained despite the constant bombardment of questions from Chaewon asking if you were okay with the arrangements. You came to terms with it, and you expected more sound from Jay, but to your surprise, he silently accepted it.Â
"You're not mad or anything?" It was now just the both of you, alone in a corridor trying to find your room.Â
"Why would I be?" From the tone of his voice, he genuinely seemed fine with it.
"I thought you'd rather die than be with me,"
"That's what you think," his eyes were on the doors and the numbers, but his focus on your every word never faltered. "I've learnt to tolerate you. I think you should do the same,"
"I do! I'm not exploding anymore whenever I see you,"Â
"Oh wow, is that the effect I have on youâhere's our room," you stopped right behind him, standing in front of a door, waiting for him to unlock it.
The room was exactly what you imagined but also not. It was a small room, mostly decorated and painted with the overall theme of Mykonos in mind. There was a single bed there and it certainly haunted you. Please deliver that extra bed quickly, you thought.
"Home sweet home for two weeks, I guess," Jay muttered as he came out of the bathroom after walking around the room, though there was nothing much to see anyway.
"At least you get to live your Mamma Mia dream,"
"Touche."
Being heavily jet lagged and tired out of your mind, you wondered how Chaewon still had ample amount of energy left in her to be so enthusiastic and cheerful. She had invited the bridesmaids, groomsmen and close friends out for dinner at an outdoor restaurant, where the pretty view made up for the hefty price.
The chilly evening weather was perfect for you to pull out one of your dinner dresses, a black long sleeved midi dress that complimented you. Maybe pulling the dress out was a good idea hidden in disguise, because it definitely did a number on Jay.Â
From the moment you stepped out of the bathroom in the dress to the point where you're waiting for your dinner, Jay has been enamoured by you. Even if he said nothing, his eyes couldn't lie, they couldn't escape.Â
"I don't like the way he's always staring at you," Jay whispered quietly so that only you could hear. You knew who he was talking about, unfortunately, and you detested the fact that you were getting the unwanted attention too.
"I don't like the way he's staring at me either," you mumbled, avoiding your ex's watchful gaze. "He's going to be such a pain in the ass for me,"
"Out of sight, out of mind,"
"You don't say," you sighed into your glass of wine, hoping to down another in an attempt to cloud Yeonjun's existence away.Â
Dinner was taking its own sweet time to get prepared, so everyone was scattered around, either by the bar or at the table. Jay had wandered off with Sunghoon and Jake, leaving you with Yujin and Wonyoung.
"Okay, guess who's here," Chaewon had snuck up on you and the girls, flinging her arm carelessly around your's and Yujin's shoulders.
"It's me," you heard a familiar voice announcing her presence in a sing-song tone, causing you and your friends to turn around, seeing one of your best friends, Yunjin, approaching with open arms.Â
"Yunjin?" You gasped, rushing over to throw yourself on her. "Oh my God, it's been ages since we met,"Â
"I know! I've been busy, it's insane," after all the hugs from you and the girls, you sat down to catch up, listening to every drama Yunjin had to offer.Â
Time wasn't enough for the amount of things Yunjin needed to say as dinner was starting to be served and everyone was gradually returning. To your utmost surprise, Sunghoon took the seat next to you that Jay had originally sat in. It seemed Jay was a step too late as his face had obvious question marks on it.Â
You met his eyes and shrugged, but proceeded to mouth 'Yunjin' and pointed at the empty seat next to her. Well, you were trying to be a good sport and set him up. But his furrowed eyebrows told you otherwise. However, he didn't have much choice either but to oblige.
"I'm so glad you're here. I really need my support since he is literally right here," you shook your head, taking a big bite out of your pasta.
"Who?"
"Yeonjun," you muttered, basically coughed to cover the mention of his name.Â
Yunjin tensed for a second when you said his name. It didn't go unnoticed by you either, weird. But you decided to shrug it off at the moment, not thinking much of it.
"He better stay out of your way for the entire wedding," Yunjin said after a beat.
"I'm making it known, but he's kinda ⌠difficult,"
"Just stick with Chaewon, I don't think he'd mess with you when she's around. Remember that time she pulled his hair just because you two got into an argument?"
"Right. Typical Chaewon," you laughed at the memory, mostly at Chaewon's actions than the entirety of it. Thinking about Yeonjun and your past was simply heart wrenching. To be reminded that you wasted years on a man that left without any explanations was a different kind of hurt.Â
"Anyway," you started, shaking away the random surge of trauma inducing thoughts, averting your attention back on Yunjin. "Do you remember Jay?" You nodded over at said man whose attention you caught.
"Oh yeah, I do! Same high school as us, right?"
"That's me," he said, looking a mix of awkwardness and confusion. "I'm Jay,"
"Hi, Yunjin,"Â
"Well, cheers America, I suppose. You guys can bond a little over that then," you wiggled your eyebrows at Jay, who only stared back at you with an odd look. Whatever that was.
The rest of the dinner consisted of small talks with Sunghoon and laughing about shared experiences with Heeseung. You didn't notice the burning stare from Jay until dinner was over and everyone was just lazing around under the clear night sky. The bar was still open and everyone was slowly hovering over there bit by bit, swaying along with the music playing in the background.
"You're not going to get some drinks?" Sunghoon was already up from his seat, ready to join the others by the bar.Â
You shook your head. "I'm fine, I think I'll survive on the wine,"
"Alright, then I guess I'll be off with Yunjin,"Â
You looked over to see Yunjin already standing, smiling happily at the mention of some drinks and was gladly whisked away by Sunghoon, which meant you and Jay were there together alone.Â
"I see what you're trying to do," Jay scooted onto Yunjin's seat, now sitting beside you with a slight frown. "You're trying to set me up with her,"
"You said you were down,"
"Maybe I lied,"
"Well, don't lie then," you hissed, grabbing onto your wine glass and taking a large sip from it.Â
Jay choked out a laugh at your reaction, a familiar teasing grin sitting on his lips. "I'm joking. I don't care about her, I barely know her,"
"She's really nice,"Â
"I don't care,"
"Then who do you even care about?"
"You,"
Given the fact that he was sitting close to you and he never once broke eye contact, his words had a bigger effect on you more than you could imagine. What did he mean by what he said? Adding on that he didn't care about Yunjin had unknowingly given you a sense of relief, though you didn't realise it.Â
Jay cracked a smile, laughing under his breath at your confusion stricken face and took it as an opportunity to leave you hanging. "I'm going to get some drinks, want some?"
"Iâuhâno thanks, IâI'll stick to my wine," you were a stuttering mess, and you were letting him do that to you.Â
You couldn't believe it, you couldn't believe yourself. Park Jong Seong, really? You were not fully admitting it but you had to be honest, you were feeling the slight sparks when it came to Jay. Shoot you, right now please!
As if he knew he had a lasting effect on you, that man had the audacity to look over his shoulder as he left and meet your eyes, laughing a little before turning away. Motherfucker.Â
A few sips of your wine eventually turned into downing the whole glass. Talk about liquid luck, you need the confidence to uphold your composure no matter what. And it was definitely fitting when Yeonjun appeared next to you out of the blue. Maybe downing the wine was a smart choice after all.
"You're with Jay now?"Â
"Why would it be your business whether or not I'm with him?" You snapped, not needing his presence at the moment.
"I justânevermind,"
"What do you want, Yeonjun? Last time I checked, we're not on speaking terms,"
"I just wanted to talk,"
"Talk? You left me with no explanation and you want to talk now? I rather we stay no contact forever,"Â
"Look, IâI did something ⌠unforgivable and I couldn't face you, so I left andâ"
"What was it? What did you even do till the point where you had to leave and disappear from my life?"
"I don't know if this is the right place to say or even the right time, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry,"
"Save it, if you're not even going to tell me. I don't forgive you, Yeonjun, and I don't think I ever will," you forced out even though you were crumbling internally, wishing the ground would just swallow you up and never see his face ever again.
"Y/Nâ"
"Y/N," It was Jay. He was back from the bar, standing with a glass in hand paired with a very confused look on his face as he stared at a distressed you then at your guilty looking ex. "And ⌠Yeonjun,"
"Jay," Yeonjun greeted, or more so, acknowledged.
There was a recognisable tension that hung in the air. Not only did you feel uncomfortable, but also awkward and angry, and it somehow prompted you to get up from your seat. You didn't know what you were going to do, all you wished for was to be far away from Yeonjun.Â
"Iâyou know what, let's go get some drinks," you caught onto Jay's wrist, pulling him with you to the bar without looking back or acknowledging Yeonjun's existence.Â
"What was all that? I felt like dying there," Jay said in a hushed tone once your ex was out of earshot.Â
"I don't know either, it almost felt like a fever dream. He basically said everything but also nothing," it was evident from your voice that Yeonjun had affected you more than it seemed. How dare he seek you out after all those times of being away? For a minute you thought you were in one of those scripted dramas. "Tell me, Jay, how am I supposed to avoid him when he's literally here with us for the entire wedding?"
"Forget about the rest of the wedding, let's just focus on tonight first. You know what we're going to do tonight? Drink and dance," Jay laced his hand into yours, and it took you by complete surprise. The warmth of his skin calmed you, the reassurance in the glow of his eyes made you think maybe everything was alright.Â
You eventually ditched the wine and went for something stronger, reaching the point where you were playing drinking games with some of your friends while Jay watched. It was until Jay had to pull you away from the drinks and try leading you back to the table, but you stopped in your tracks and it made things difficult for him.Â
"Why are you stopping?" He held onto your arms tighter, though you weren't fully drunk, you were still stumbling over your own two feet.Â
"Do you hear that?"Â
Jay squinted his eyes at you, almost like he's saying 'are you crazy' without verbally doing so. "Hear what?"
"ABBA,"
"ABBA?" Jay questioned, but when you shushed him and he actually listened, he could hear the start of 'Dancing Queen' playing from the bar speakers.Â
"Your Mamma Mia dream!" You threw your head back laughing and grabbed onto his shoulder.Â
Jay had always been a man who knew how to keep his composure, constantly pretending that you were nothing more to him, but now that it came to you, he seemed to be losing every bit of it. The moment he watched you throw your head back laughing, he was a gone man. His knees were weak and his heart was racing quicker than usual. He didn't even realise you had pulled him into the middle of a mini dancefloor by the bar. Why did they even have a dance floor? He thought. Whatever, Chaewon and Heeseung were dancing, some of the others were too, so Jay, for once, decided to let go.
"It's your song! Dancing Queen!" You patted his shoulder with the widest smile on your face as if things hadn't gone sour in the first place. Alcohol worked wonders for you. But it didn't cloud your mind when Jay wrapped his hand around your wrist and proceeded to pull you in, knocking your liquid confidence out of you.Â
"Dance with me then,"Â
Oh.
Oh.
"I'd love to,"Â
Fuck it.
Jay bit his lips, smiling wide and pulling you with him. You stumbled a little, but you didn't care, letting out a carefree laugh and moving your body to the music, not even realising that Jay was standing there watching you, completely starstruck by you.
"What are you doing? Dance with me," you pulled onto his arm and he laughed in response, letting you boss him around in your half drunken stage.Â
Jay was a great dancing partner, better than you expected. He twisted and turned you around, and at one point, he spun you around. It was fun living this way, not caring about a single thing in the world and getting to dance till your heart's content. It was written all over your's and Jay's face, how much you were enjoying each other's company despite not saying it.
It took Dancing Queen and a few other ABBA songs to wear you and Jay out, eventually having to retire back to the table a little sweaty and very sluggish. Being a little tipsy and tired, you were ignorant to the obvious stares from your friends and Yeonjun himself. Were you going to explain yourself in the morning? Absolutely not.
Heading back to the hotel was easy when everyone of you walked back together, filling the quiet night air with loud laughs and juicy chatters. Jay's jacket was wrapped around your shoulders, and he himself was straying not far behind with Jake.Â
You said your goodbyes for the night to Yujin, Chaewon, Yunjin and the others before following Jay to the room. He made sure to have you by his side, occasionally sneaking glances at you as you both silently walked back.Â
You've never been more glad to take your heels off and be back in your own room. As you stumbled around trying to get your shoes off, you caught sight of a change in the room. There were two beds. That's good. But they're side by side. Not good. The hotel was making a fool of you at this point.Â
"What are you staring atâoh," Jay had entered the room, looking taken aback at the two single beds joined together.Â
"They're together, they shouldn't be together," your words came out in a rush, almost in a panic.Â
"Well, no shit," Jay mumbled, walking forward to the bed. "Do you want to move this? Oh, it's going to be a lot of work, the bedside tablesâ"
"You know what, leave it," you were too tired to complain, it was already past midnight and Jay was probably equally tired, it just wasn't a good time to be the one complaining here. "Let's just share the bed,"
"You're fine with that?"
"I am,"
"Really?"
"Yes, Jay, now stop asking before I downgrade you to the floor," that was enough to get the man to zip his mouth.
The process of getting in bed with Jay was bewildering to you. You were sleeping in the same bed as him. That was something you had to wrap your mind around.Â
"You okay?" In the dark came Jay's voice. The lights were off and you were already tucked under the covers. There was a small space in between you and Jay, something the two of you made sure remained. However, you could hear Jay's faint breathing and feel the warmth emitting from his body. You were that close to him.Â
"I'm fine, just ⌠tired,"
"I didn't think you'd want to share the bed with me,"
"Why?"
"Thought you hated to be in my presence or something,"
"That's what you think," you said, quoting him from earlier on. Jay immediately caught onto that, letting out a snort in response.
"Are you finally charmed by me, L/N?"
It was your turn to let out a snort, but the smile creeping onto your face was telling you otherwise. "Go to sleep, Park,"
Jay laughed a little, and it was hard not to admit that it caused a swarm of butterflies to stir in your abdomen. "Night, sweetheart,"
Those swarms of butterflies were about to be a whole damn zoo.Â
"Night, Jay."
That night, despite the space in between, you felt much closer to Jay than you've ever been before, both personally and physically.
Waking up to a feeling of heaviness over your stomach was alarming. Finding out it was Jay's arm was ten times more alarming.
Your eyes basically widened in light speed, snapping your head over to see Jay still dozed off beside you, but the space you both created was practically nonexistent. He was cuddling you. Cuddling you. No matter how many times you repeated it, you continued to be in disbelief.
The Park Jong Seong was cuddling you and you were in bed with him. If only fifteen years old you could hear that and not have a complete heart attack.Â
You glanced over at him again, this time pausing at the sight of his face. The freckles littered under his eyes resembled constellations in the sky. It was impossible to deny that he had a face that was to die for, paired with features that were too delicate and detailed, he was a dream.Â
Let's not start on his arm and the biceps, shall we? You carefully pushed his arm away, feeling the warmth from his touch slowly leaving your skin. Then, you made the run for it and headed to the bathroom without looking back. What a start to your morning.
It took approximately another thirty minutes before Jay woke up. By then, you were already done with your morning routine and were in the midst of choosing your outfit of the day.Â
"Morning. You're up early,"
"No, Jay, you're up late. We need to meet them for brunch by twelve," you pointed at the clock that was conveniently hanging on the wall. It was half past eleven.
"Oh," he breathed out, hair sticking out in different directions, t-shirt all crumpled. "Give me ten minutes."
He truly stuck to his words. Ten minutes and he was out of the shower, fresh and fully awake. "Impressive," you noted.
"Thank you," he delivered a wink at you, bowing slightly. It was never too early in the morning for him to do that, was it?
Brunch came and went, eventually it was time for bridesmaid duties. You, Yujin, Chaewon, Yunjin and the rest of the bridesmaids were at the venue doing some final preparations and going through what's needed. But the tap on your shoulder didn't prepare you for the thing she was about to say.
"Is Jay single?"
You were in the middle of checking the flowers and decorations, but was left too stunned to really continue on. "Huh?"
"That American guy, the one you introduced," she repeated, as though he wasn't the guy you're literally sharing a bed with.Â
"Him, yeah, why?" Playing oblivious to digest the question was such a strategy to pull.
"Is heâI don't knowâsingle?"
"Uhâyeah ⌠kind of? Why?" Now, why did you add 'kind of'?
"He's cute, I wanted to talk to him more but he's a little quiet,"Â
Oh.
"Oh," you were chewing on your bottom lip, a habit that you found yourself doing when you're nervous. Why were you nervous? "He's a little weird, I don't think you'd like him,"
"But I like weird!" Yunjin laughed, and you forced out one too, which eventually faltered into a frown that rested on your lips.
"I'll ⌠let him know,"Â
"Thanks!"
It was indescribable, specifically that feeling you had when Yunjin showed interest in Jay. The boiling, distasteful, stomach dropping feeling you had throughout that conversation. What was it? Plus, why would she even like Jay? He's not special, he's just ⌠Jay. Well, the Jay you knew for ages and grew close to, that Jay.Â
He was the same person that you swore you hated, the first boy you got to know. He just so happened to be standing in front of you, after all that push and pull you did in your head, you were faced with the man himself, alone in the room together.
"You look distracted," his voice broke the silence in the room, startling you slightly.
"What?"
"You look distracted," he repeated, joining you to sit on the bed as well. "Doesn't seem like it's a you thing to be distracted. What's going on in that head of yours?"
You, Jay. It's you.
"Iâuhâwedding things. They got the flowers wrong," it was a plain lie, but you managed to dodge his question, just like how you were dodging his burning eyes.
"Chaewon's not overworking you, right?"
You chuckled at his question, shaking your head. "If anything, she's overworking herself out,"Â
"You should stop her, don't want the bride to be burnt out by the time of the wedding," Jay said, and you nodded as a response. It was silent for a little while, the sound of Jay's foot tapping the ground was all you heard, mixed with the steady breathing of his.Â
"Y/N,"Â
One utterance of your name from him was enough for you to turn and meet his eyes. He was already staring at you. There was the softest glow in his gaze that he reserved just for you. It was quiet, but whatever it was that lingered in the air between you and him, it was loud and sparkling.Â
You hummed, unable to verbally reply under his stare. He was close, you weren't even conscious of the nonexistent space you two had, only becoming gradually aware that his shoulder was pressed against yours.Â
"Iâ" he started, but nothing really came out, and it somehow disappointed you a lot. "Nevermind," he laughed it off, but you could only manage a small smile, a part of you which was expecting something more had eventually shattered.
"What?" You nudged his shoulder in a lighthearted manner.
"It's nothing,"
You arched your eyebrow at him. "Nothing?"
He shook his head. You let out a hum in response even though you didn't believe him, but you moved on from it for the moment, switching to another topic that crowded your mind.Â
"Yunjin asked me about you,"
It was his turn to be curious. "She did?"
You nodded in affirmation. "Asked if you're single. I think she's interested,"
"What do you think of it?"
"What? Why would I matter in this?"
"I care about what you think about this. Aren't you the one pushing the whole agenda?"
"Wellâ"
"You can always just tell me to fuck off and I will, you know?"
"I can't just do that. You're a person with free will, why would I want to get in the way of your love life?"Â
"I could sense the disapproval in you, Y/N," he leaned in slightly, not knowing how much of an effect it has on you.
You gulped, trying to regain your composure a little bit more. "Do whatever you want, Jay, really,"
"Really?"
"Really,"
"Alright, I'll trust you and your judgement. Now go shower, stinky,"
You punched his shoulder and stood up. "What a gentleman you are, Jay,"
"I'm joking! But you do need to shower after a long day,"
"Maybe I do,"
"So you think you smell too?"
"Now you're putting words in my mouth," you picked up your towel and pajamas, casting him one last look. "You better think back on what you were about to say! I don't like being left hanging."
You heard a humoured laugh coming from Jay, but you continued your way to the bathroom. In the end, you knew you were lying about being fine and secondly, you could tell he was hiding the actual things he wanted to say earlier on. It was clear that he was lying, you had a sure feeling about it. But you weren't exactly innocent either.Â
Jay was easy to read sometimes. It was hard to hide from you especially when his eyes were speaking to you first. They were already telling you things that couldn't be described with words, something much more intimate, yet, he couldn't say it to you for some reason.
Just like how you couldn't voice out the truth about you despising the idea of Jay and Yunjin together. It was confusing you, whatever this feeling you had harboured in your guts, or the fact that Jay was overtaking your mind, and you were willingly letting it happen.
You hate him. You hate the way he laughed. You hate his charming eyes that turn into crescent moons whenever his lips stretch into one of his sweet smiles. You hate his flirtatious remarks, or that look he had in his eyes whenever he's with you. In the end, you hate how he wasn't yours.
Oh god. You're supposed to hate him, but why were you feeling this way for him?
Oh.Â
You like him. You like Park Jong Seong.
From that night onwards, you've never been the same.Â
Being aware of your ongoing feelings for Jay was both a blessing and a curse. It's great that you got to be in tune with your feelings, but also having troubles acting like yourself around him was totally uncalled for, which explained why you've been actively dodging him for quite some time now.
"Are you okay? You're acting differently," Yujin, being your closest friend, seemed to see through your behaviour like glass.Â
You shrugged, trying to play it off as nothing. If you find yourself admitting that secret, you'd be fleeing Greece the next day.Â
"We're going out to the club and you're so ⌠toned down. It's so unlike you,"
"I'm just a little tired, the packed schedules are killing me, but trust me, I'm more than glad to be able to let loose tonight," it was part truth, part lie.Â
"So no getting drunk for you?"Â
"Nope. I'll get the worst hangover the next day so I think I'll pass,"Â
"I can't tell if you'll stick to your words," Yujin narrowed her eyes at you in doubt, and truth be told, you couldn't fully trust yourself either.
"Well, we'll find out tomorrow."
Almost everyone was there by the time you and Yujin arrived. Most of them were sitting in the booth but some had already wandered off on their own. Your eyes strayed to a certain someone sitting in the booth, realising he had his gaze on you first.Â
Jay was dressed in a simple long sleeve denim button up, but there was a certain twist to it. First two buttons were unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up to showcase his forearms, a single chain hung around his neck and an expensive watch wrapped around his wrist. Now ⌠you couldn't believe his simplicity and minimalism has managed to swoon you over.
He smiled upon meeting your eyes. This action alone had you melting and it wasn't even something big. You couldn't help yourself from smiling either, letting that man charm you over.Â
That was until your gaze flickered over to his side. Yunjin.Â
That same feeling in the pits of your stomach seemed to have made its presence known. You shouldn't be feeling this way. Yunjin's your friend. But why were you feeling absolutely sour the moment you saw her by his side?
"Wanna grab some drinks or you're still sticking to your words?" Yujin nudged your side and nodded her head at the bar. She always knew how to tempt you, but at the same time, you were looking for a moment's worth of getaway from Jay and Yunjin.
"Fine. I'll get something light," you grumbled, finally giving in. Yujin cheered and she absolutely didn't waste another second before pulling you away towards the bar. You felt it, however, a lingering gaze as you left that you knew who it belonged to. It took every piece of you to not look back and that was what you did.
As you waited for the bartender to be done with your drinks, you pulled your best friend closer. "I need to ask you something,"
"Ask away, old friend,"
"No questions until I'm done, okay?" You didn't know what had gotten into you, maybe it was the night time adrenaline or the fact that it's been eating you up since forever, but all you knew was you needed to confide in your best friend. Yujin nodded, clear confusion written in her expressions.
"Hear me out. Let's just say, hypothetically, I have a crush on someone and I see him with another girl. I feel some sort of confusing feelings, is that normal?"Â
Yujin's confusion morphed into realisation, then a wide knowing smirk took over her lips. "So, you've got a crush, eh?"
"Hypothetically! Now, answer my question,"
"Alright, whatever you say," Yujin's smirk never faltered, but she gave it a thought. "I know what it is,"
"What?"
"You're jealous," she might've put it plainly, but it surely did come crashing down on you like a big wave. You? Jealous? That's new. "Well, hypothetically speaking," she added, unconvinced.
"Why would I be jealous? Hypothetically,"Â
"It's natural, Y/N. Seeing someone you like with a girl who happens to not be you can be gut wrenching. It's also a part of girlhood," Yujin said thoughtfully.
"Then what do I do? Drown myself?"
"Not exactly, no, it depends. Either you admit your feelings or continue living your life in denial," Yujin hummed, resting her head on her hand as she stared at you. "Do you like him?"
"Yesâwellâhypothetical situation wise. I think I'm no longer in denial, but I just don't know what to do,"
"Tell him. What if he already likes you from the beginning?"
"Bullshit,"
Yujin raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure this is all hypothetical?"
"YâYeah, I suppose,"
Another satisfied smile spread across her face, looking as if she'd cracked the code to the safe. "I don't think you'd have to worry,"
"What do you mean?"
"You already have him wrapped around your fingers since day one,"
Did she actually crack the code? Was it that obvious?Â
You let out a cough and straightened your spine. "It's all hypothetical, though. Don't worry,"
"Hypothetical, huh? We'll see."
How ominous that sounded. The ring of her words definitely burned in your mind even as the night progressed. Great to know you were burning with jealousy, but dreaded to realise you actually needed to voice out your feelings to be known. Why was romance this hard?Â
What you know wasn't hard was drinking and dancing. You tried getting Jay out of your mind by dancing with your friends, even accepting drinks from a random guy whose name you learned was Intak. Apparently he was on a trip with his friends too.Â
"Can I take you home tonight?"
"What?" You screamed over the music, but in reality, you were just trying to plot your escape.
"Wanna get out of here?"Â
"Iâuhâcame with my friends so I think I'll stay," you were not liking how this was going.
"Come on, I know a good place nearby," he was reaching out to grab your hand but you quickly retracted it, slowly getting up from the tall bar stool.Â
"I think I'll stay," you backed away gradually, eyes frantically blinking in anxiety as you watched him get up from his seat too.
"Hey, come onâ"Â
"What's going on?" Jay's voice travelled to your ears just as your back bumped into his chest, but you managed to recognise his voice before turning to meet his slightly agitated face.Â
"Jay," you breathed out in relief, not even acknowledging the fact that he had caught hold of your wrist.Â
He casted a glance at Intak, who thankfully backed down after seeing Jay approaching you. You thought your main concern was finally settled, but one peek at Jay's face, you knew he was mad without needing to ask. "Let's go,"
It was all fun and games until you realised he was genuinely pissed. His hold on you didn't loosen and you didn't know where you were being dragged to either. "Where are we going?" Silence from him. "Jay! Let go of me,"Â
The continued radio silence from him as he pulled you through the crowd and towards the exit only further your annoyance. You were angry and very much confused, an explanation was what you deserved too.Â
Once you had exited the club, Jay finally stopped his tracks. The quiet night air that was accompanied by the sounds of waves crashing against the shore filled the momentary silence, just before you eventually cracked.Â
"What are we doing here?"
"We're going back,"
"Back where?"
"The hotel,"
"What?" You took a step back, face contorting into confusion then anger. "I'm not going back yet,"
"You are. You're not staying especially when that creep is still there,"
"You're being unreasonable,"
Jay shook his head, jaw clenched. "What were you even doing back there? Can't you see you're getting yourself in danger?"
"I was just trying to enjoy my night, Jay,"
"And by that you meant getting yourself involved with a man you don't know?"
"God, Jay. Since when do you care?"
"Since always!" He burst out yelling, surprising you the most. He was breathing hard, eyes flickering around and his hands clenched tightly onto his jeans. "Since fucking always, Y/N, and it hurts me to see another man trying to get his way with you knowing how he doesn't deserve any part of you at all,"
Was this actually happening? Were you dreaming every word that was coming out of his mouth?Â
"Wâwhat? But I thought ⌠I thought you and Yunjinâ"
"For fuck's sake, Y/N, can't you see? I give a fuck about you, not your best friend, but you," he ran a hand through his hair, heaving a sigh of distress. "I want you. Ever since the day I met you, no matter how much you said you hated me, I just knew I couldn't feel the same, because ⌠you're you, you're special like no other,"
The anger in his eyes melted into adoration, and most importantly, love. Desperation, longing and pining hung in his words, no matter how you tried absorbing them, your state of shock continued to render you speechless. You wanted to tell him how much you liked him, or the way he has been clouding your mind for far too long, but you just couldn't bring yourself to.
"Jay âŚ" your voice was light and gentle, the alcohol in your system was buzzing and you swore you were about to lose your footing anytime soon. The additional silence from Jay only made the tension in the air thicker.
He opened his mouth, then closed it, forming a thin line. Eyebrows furrowed, thoughts clearly running through that mind of his. "Iâforget it,"
That was the last thing you had expected. "What?"
"You're tired, aâand you probably don't know what to say, I can see it in your face. Let's just talk about this another day, okay?"
You hate to admit it, but he was partially true. All those times you prepared yourself by admitting that you did, in fact, like him surely hadn't gotten you ready for this moment. Maybe a heads up would've been great, but you couldn't help feeling sad that you had unintentionally left him hanging.
"Let's go back," Jay started to walk, but your feet were still stuck to the ground. He soon noticed and turned around, head tilted to one side in confusion.Â
"I'm not rejecting you, Jay, IâI just need a clear head and a better time to gather my emotions. Trust me, I'm not pushing you away," your words might've come out slightly slurred, but it was all genuine. You held your breath until you saw a small smile forming on his face, waiting as he walked closer and finally stood before you.
"Alright, I trust you. Shall we go?"
"Let's go."
His arms were wrapped around you as you both walked under the night sky. You feared for the awkwardness, but it just seemed to be nonexistent. Your head was in a mess, but one thing's for sure, which was telling him how you felt once his heavy emotions diluted away. For now, you rested your head on his shoulder, basking in his presence before facing what was yet to come.
You didn't talk to Jay for the next few days.
Look, it's not that you didn't want to, you just couldn't. The bachelorette was the day after that night at the bar and it practically took up to two days since Chaewon insisted on a sleepover too, which also meant you haven't seen Jay for those days and given the situation you had with him, you're not sure if going no contact was the best idea.Â
Then came the pre wedding dinner and its preparations. The whole morning leading up to the evening was just you and your fellow bridesmaids running around getting everything finalised. The dinner dress you had on definitely added to the dramatics.Â
There was still an hour left until the open aired dinner. By then, you and your friends were able to catch your breath and enjoy some evening tea around the long table. The groomsmen were at one end while you and the bridesmaids were at the other, only furthering your distance from him.
"Hey, Y/N, can you grab me some sugar please?" Chaewon pointed at her cup of coffee, then batted her eyelashes sweetly at you.
The others laughed as you rolled your eyes. Maid of honour duties were truly on another level. "Alright, alright, anything else? You guys?"
"A cup of water for me please," Yunjin piped up, and a string of requests followed. It was almost as if you'd become their personal waiter.
You made your way towards the inside of the restaurant, passing by the groomsmen's end and getting some greetings from them. Your eyes, however, were on a particular one. The best man. He didn't meet your eyes, but you could tell he was resisting the urge to do so. He could have spared you a message or two, yet he chose not to, and that disappointed you more than imagined.Â
You're not pushing him away, but why did it seem like he was the one pushing you away?
Just to make matters worse, the first person you saw upon entering the inside of the restaurant was your ex, Yeonjun. Of course he was here. Before you could escape from him, he had already caught sight of you and was calling for you. Just your luck.
"Y/N!" He took big strides towards you, and you cursed under your breath.Â
"Yes?" You said slowly, taking a cautious step back.Â
"I wanted to talk to you,"
Not again. You sighed. "Look, I'm not starting this conversation again. I'm tired, it's almost the wedding day and I just want some peace,"
"IâI just wanted to tell you the truth,"
"The truth?"
"The truth behind what happened. I owe you the closure that I deprived you of,"
Get you out of here ASAP. You stared at him blankly, your fight or flight instinct blaring loudly in your ears. Your foot took one step back, the other was waiting to do the same.Â
"I slept with your best friend. I slept with Yunjin,"
Oh wow.
Nothing could've possibly prepared you for that. The reason why he broke off your five years long relationship was because he fucked your friend? That was almost a joke, except that joke was your reality.Â
"I ⌠I realised I was in love with her and I broke things off with you. Then I left and moved in with her overseas, before we eventually broke up too," his continuous confession only hit you like bullets. Maybe the closure and truth you were hoping for years was something you didn't need after all. "Say something, please, Y/N,"Â
You couldn't. Tongue tied and overwhelmed, your feet started backing up before you even knew it. Your state of shock had failed to notice a body brushing past you and advancing towards Yeonjun. Almost in a blink of an eye, Yeonjun was punched in the jaw and had fallen to the ground. The person turned around, and it was the one you were wishing on a star for. Jay.
Your eyes flickered between him and your ex, heart practically threatening to jump out of your chest at any moment. You didn't say anything and grabbed Jay's hands, pulling him out of the restaurant and most definitely away from the dinner tables. The beachside restaurant served its purpose as you dragged him to the beach, a storm of emotions clouding your senses.Â
You reached the middle of the beach, and that's when you let go of his hand, facing him with a frown. "What are you doing? You ignored me for days and now you're out here punching my ex?"
"What? He deserved it!" Jay matched the level of your voice. "Y/N, he cheated on you with your friend,"
"I know, Jay, thanks for reminding me!" You snapped, but the anger and rage soon dissolved into a vulnerable hurt that you hid until now. Tears of grief betrayed your stone cold demeanour, gradually cracking under Jay's eyes. "Fuck," you hissed out before his arms pulled you into his embrace, sending you a mix of shock but also comfort.
He held you close, arms wrapped around you tightly. If anything, he has felt like home more than you had expected. He was silent, letting you pour your tears out even if it meant wetting his freshly ironed button up. To him, all it matters was you.Â
"I don't know what to do now," you slowly pulled away, wiping the tears away and disregarding the fact that your makeup was most likely ruined.Â
"We don't have to do anything first, we can just stay here and you can cool down for a bit," Jay said calmly, smoothing his hand on your back.
You nodded a little, holding onto his forearm and pulling him down to sit with you on the beach. The sand was rough against your skin, but that was the last thing on your mind. The two of you sat there, watching the waves and the clear blue sky, waiting for either one of you to speak first.
"I deserve an explanation too, you know?" Instead of mulling over your heartbreak, you decided to address the elephant in the room. If you couldn't fix one thing, at least you could fix this.Â
"I thought of giving you space,"
"Look how that turned out, we're both hurting in our own ways. You said you wanted to talk about it, so let's do that," you turned your body to face him.
"Are you sureâ"
"Very. I'm very sure, Jay. Just because I got fucked over doesn't mean I want to fuck us over," the wound might've been fresh, but it was to be addressed later on, you're putting the one before that first. "I have a clear head this time, timing is quite odd and my emotions might be a little over the place, but I've never been so sure about one thing. Jay, I like you,"
Jay blinked once, then twice. You didn't let him have the opportunity to respond, choosing to continue on a rant or else you'd combust. "I like you. Like, a lot. You have no idea how stupid I felt that night for not telling you straightforwardly, and I was so scared of losing you,"
"You could never lose me, Y/N, never," he reached over and rested his palm against your cheek, thumb swiping ever so gently over the mascara streak. You were a mess, eyes puffy from crying and makeup semi smudged, but in his eyes, you were beautiful.Â
"I want you, Jay, you're everything to me, and Iâ"Â
It was a whiplash. How Jay had finally closed the gap between you and him, addressing the heavy tension once and for all. Before you could utter another word, his lips crashed onto yours. It took you a second to fully realise, but when you did so, everything felt like heaven.Â
The years of tension melted into the kiss, heavy and desperate, but also a hint of tender love was present. His hand on your cheek wandered off to the back of your neck, guiding you deeper into the kiss. His touch, his lips, they were an addiction.Â
You felt him smiling into the kiss right before he pulled away, the smile still present. It was quiet except for your heavy breathing, but you couldn't stop yourself from giggling. The overwhelming joy of getting the man you deserve was something you couldn't contain, and it seemed he felt the same too.
Jay pressed his forehead against yours, palms resting on the side of your face. "Actually, that night in the hotel, you know, where I left you hanging?"
You scoffed, resisting a smile. "I know,"
"That night, what I really wanted to say was ⌠I'm in love with you," he was cheesy, so cheesy, but it was genuine, and lucky for you, his cheesiness worked. "So super in love, since forever,"
You couldn't hold back your amused laugh this time, and your burning cheeks were betraying you. "I can't believe you're so cheesy! Who knew Park Jong Seong was such a hopeless romantic?"
"I'm professing my love for you and you're laughing at me?" He pinched your cheek, eliciting a louder bark of a laugh from you.Â
"I'm kidding. I'm just as much of a hopeless romantic as you are," you pressed a kiss on his lips, rendering him speechless for a second, until you saw a grin spreading across his face.
"As much as I want to bask in this amazing moment right now, I think we should also face reality, because what are we going to do now?"Â
You let out a groan. "I hate that you're right. I think we should head back,"
"You're not afraid of seeing him again?"
"Afraid? I might be heartbroken and still in shock but I'm healing thanks to all thisâ" you gestured between you and Jay, earning an expressive eye roll from him, "---plus, you can throw another punch for me,"
"You amuse me," he helped you get up and dusted the sand off your dress. "Are you okay, though? Genuinely?"
"Even if I'm not, I got to suck it up, don't I? I hate that I'm letting it get to me," your voice wavered, remembering the feelings you had when your ex dropped the news on you. "Years down the drain just because he fell in love with someone I considered a friend, it almost sounds like a movie night special,"
"Hey, hey," both of his hands were on your shoulders, warm irises gazing into yours, providing a pinch of comfort. "Fuck them, okay? You deserve much more than that. Yeonjun didn't cherish the amazing person you are and that's his fucking lost. You're doing better than him right now, you're shining, you're bejewelled,"
Gosh, you just wanted to grab his face and plant a big fat kiss on his lips. But instead, you opted for a smile. "Didn't know you were such a good hype man,"
"I'll be your hype man for as long as you want," he reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear so naturally that you didn't even notice at first. "Come on, let's head back, the dinner has probably already started. Let me treat you to a nice spa session at the hotel when we get back,"
"Okay, but can we stop by the restroom first? I have urgent matters to attend to: my makeup."
The dinner had indeed started by the time you arrived, but with your presence announced, chaos ensued. At least your makeup was fixed.
"Y/N!" Chaewon practically stumbled out of her chair, dashing towards you with Heeseung behind her. The moment she reached you, you swore your breath was knocked out of you when she tackled you into a hug. "I know what happened,"
"You do?" You were surprised, curious as to what had happened while you were gone.
"Fuckâyeah, I do. Some of them saw Jay punching Yeonjun from the outside. The glass panels, you know? Then you guys disappeared and it was only Yeonjun so we kinda pressured him into spilling and that's when we knew âŚ" Chaewon's voice faltered, her eyes wandering around your face for signs. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I should've never let him attend in the first place, and God! Yunjin too. I feel so bad and incredibly stupidâ"
"Chaewon," you stopped her from rambling, trying to put on a reassuring smile. "You're fine, it's okay, you didn't knowâhellâI didn't know either,"
"Are you okay? We can ditch this dinner if you want,"
"Are you okay? Chaewon, our family's here, Heeseung's family too. Don't let me be the reason for a terrible night. Trust me, I'm much better than you think. Maybe even better after a couple of drinks,"Â
"You're unbelievable," she wrapped an arm around your waist and led you towards the table. "But seriously, just because it's my wedding doesn't mean you have to force yourself to be happy and think you can't rant to me. I care about you, and I don't want you to be hurting alone,"
"I won't be alone," you unknowingly casted a glance at Jay who was standing by the groomsmen's end of the table, a drink already in hand. "I'll be fine, really. I guess anticipating the truth for years helped me to hurt less in some ways, but also not really when it's unexpected. What happened to them anyway?"
"They left, or actually, got kicked out. Yunjin really surprised me though. I didn't think she'd be someone like that. I guess this part hurts the both of us," Chaewon heaved a deep sigh. Losing a friend because of betrayal was a form of mental torture that you couldn't bear to imagine.Â
She removed her arm around your waist and threw it over your shoulder, pulling you closer to her side. "Yes, it hurts, but life goes on, right? For now, let's celebrate and forget it all," she patted your shoulders, then added in a whisper. "Then we can have a good cry session after,"Â
You choked out a laugh, nodding in agreement. "Writing that down in my plans for tonight."
For the rest of the dinner, you sat with the bridesmaids. They were quick to offer you comfort, but were also relentless when it came to talking shit. Yujin had you by her side, pouring you drinks and checking up on you from time to time. You were glad you felt less shitty now that you're around these people. It might've been a hard pill to swallow, but considering how you managed to get by the years without the two of them, you're sure you would eventually be fine.
The dinner soon ended after a speech from you and Jay, the bride and groom to be, and also their respective parents. The atmosphere of the open air venue along with the emotional speeches definitely contributed to the tears lingering in your eyes. You eventually said your goodbyes to the others and gravitated to Jay, wrapping an arm around him.
"Hey,"
"Hey, you good?"
"After a couple glasses of expensive wine, I'm doing more than just good,"Â
"You up for some cake then?"
"Do you expect me to say no?"
Along the way back to the hotel, you and Jay made a detour to a local bakery. You were sitting in a corner as Jay took his time ordering. It was crazy how fast the night changed.Â
"Took you long enough," you said once Jay finally arrived with the cake slices. He set the plate down, casting you a suspicious grin.
"Read the words on the plate," he pointed at the plate, and it was then you realised there were writings in red icing gel on the plate.Â
'BF & GF?'
You snorted at the simplicity of the wording, eyes flickering up to see a big grin already resting on his lips. "Seriously? BF and GF?"
"Okay, there wasn't enough space and I had to bribe them to write it for me," he threw his hands up in defence, then leaned his body forward. "So, what do you say? Can I be yours and you'll be mine?"
The sparks in his irises and the boyish grin he had made you smile, a rush of dopamine coursing through your veins. "I'd be an idiot if I said no,"Â
Without any say, you leaned over and pressed a haste kiss on his lips, but that wasn't enough for him. Just as you pulled away, his hand reached for your face and pulled you into a deeper kiss, as if he couldn't get enough of you and the taste of your lips.
"You are the best thing that's ever been mine," he whispered, his hand on your face still present as he gently stroked your cheek that was gradually turning pink from his words.Â
"You're going to be the death of me. Quick, let's finish this before it gets late." Hiding the fact that you were actually dying internally because of him, you took a big bite out of the cake, ignoring his watchful gaze.Â
Walking back to the hotel was a much different feeling compared to previous nights. Under the Greek night skies where the stars shined brighter than ever, it felt like this time around, all of them had aligned.Â
You and Jay were a burning star in the sky that never ceased to stay alight. You and him were eternal.Â
Wedding day chaos was real.Â
Waking up at the ass crack of dawn and running around had fueled your adrenaline for the day. By the time you were dressed in your dress that you remembered vividly of that specific day when you tried it out, Chaewon was also done with her wedding gown.
You and the bridesmaids huddled around at the sight of the bride, most of which were moved to tears, including you. It didn't take long before your feet moved on their own towards Chaewon and engulfed her into a hug, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions knowing your cousin was getting married.
The ceremony itself was a huge success, a beautifully done success. You got to walk down the aisle with Jay, the best man, then you watched Chaewon and Heeseung both exchange vows, proceeded to shed tears and emotions wavered to happiness once it was over. What a rollercoaster.Â
You managed to catch your breath a little more when the wedding reception started. It wasn't long until the round of speeches began, starting from you, the maid of honour. You couldn't lie, there were lots of tears and laughter shared during then, just as much as there was during Jay's speech. Alas, everyone shared a toast to the newly wed couple.
Dinner was interrupted by the dance session where the bride and her father shared their dance together, soon after it was the bride and groom's turn for their first dance. Seeing them dance only widened the smile on your lips, and it didn't go unnoticed by Jay as he reached for your hand, holding it tightly and squeezing it. You exchanged a knowing look with him.Â
The moment the dance floor was opened for everyone else to join, you wasted no time in dragging Jay out of his seat and towards the dance floor. The music was slow, a mirrorball that hung above casted a soft glowing shine across Jay's face as he stood before you, hands on your waist and your arm around his neck, both swaying slowly to the song.Â
"You look absolutely breathtaking," he leaned down to whisper into your ear, eyes shamelessing sweeping your figure from head to toe. It wasn't his first compliment of the day, he made it clear from the first moment he saw you that you were beautiful, pretty, out of this world et cetera. This man truly knew had a way of pulling lots of adjectives out of his ass.Â
"Thank you. You're very stunningly handsome," you smoothed a hand on his chest, secretly taking in the look of him in an expensive black suit.Â
He smiled at your words, the hand on your waist travelling lower. "I can't believe we're here,"
"I can't believe it too. The months leading up to this moment was insane," your hand that rested behind his neck was playing with some of his hair, neither of you could bear to get your hands off of one another.
"I'm glad it happened though, or else we wouldn't have this," his eyes gleamed, a glimmer of unwavering adoration and admiration filled his brown irises. "I believe it was meant to happen. We'd always find our way back to each other,"
It was hard not to melt at his words. Your gaze softened, an overwhelming urge to kiss him there was impossible to ignore. "You're not going to make me cry again, okay? My emotions are really unstable right now,"
Jay laughed, shaking his head. You kept your gaze on him, scrutinizing the way his eyes shined whenever he laughed or that slight dimple on his face, everything about him just made you want to be the reason for him to smile. "I'm glad everything worked out. I truly am,"
"Me tooâ"
"WHAT THE FUCK!"Â
Your head snapped at the loud outburst coming from a semi drunk bride that was standing before you and Jay. Her shocked yet puzzled face told you everything you needed to know behind her reaction.
"You ⌠and ⌠Jay?" She gasped, pointing at you and Jay, her eyes only bulging bigger. You had to block out the teasing smiles and looks from your friends who most likely placed a bet on you two.Â
"Surprise!" You tried laughing it off, waving your hands awkwardly.
Her shocked expression turned into a euphoric one almost in a blink of an eye. Another blink of an eye and she was pulling both of you into her arms. "Guys, you couldn't believe how happy I am. I was rooting for you two, and it happened!"Â
It was no help trying to have Heeseung save you and Jay. He stood there, shaking his head, as if trying to say 'just let her be'. Well, you two really did just stay there with an overly drunk and emotional bride hugging you.
Towards the end of the wedding, it was time for one the most anticipated parts of the wedding reception, moreover, it was a round for all the unmarried women to gather. The bouquet toss plus a drunk Chaewon was going to equal chaos. From her mild stumbles to overly giddiness, you and the others were waiting rather anxiously.Â
The wait was finally over when she sobered up by a fraction and straightened up, her back facing you and the crowd. You doubted you would even catch it, but what's the harm in participating anyway?Â
On the count of one, two, and three, the bouquet was tossed into the air and screeches were heard as everyone scrambled around trying to catch the poor bouquet. You took a step forward, watching the bouquet fall almost in slow motion before you. With a stretch of your arm, you felt your fingers wrap around the bouquet, feet stumbling a little out of imbalance.Â
Then, it clicked. You caught the bouquet. Time to eat your words from earlier on.
A loud holler sounded from the tables, specifically where Jay stood. You glanced over, watching the groomsmen and Heeseung clapping him on his back, egging him tirelessly. His gaze caught yours immediately amongst the crowd, a wide cheesy grin plastered on his devilishly handsome face. You couldn't hold back an amused laugh either, unable to resist the smile crawling onto your lips.Â
It was crazy how a wedding was the reason everything even started. It has brought you and Jay together, again, but this time around, more than hate was in the air, there was love. A new found love that you didn't know existed until him, the man you couldn't imagine being friends with in high school and was now the person you're starting a new journey with. This everlasting love was something you would never, ever trade for.Â
( Š jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
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tides of regret | heeseung
summary: in the year since heeseung first rejected your love confession, you've tried everything to get over him. a trip to europe makes you realize you miss your former best friend more than anything, and it makes heeseung realize he's got it all wrong.
notes: aaand she's here! this is 24.4K words worth of my heart and soul. consider this a token of my appreciation for welcoming me on enhablr. i sincerely hope you enjoy it. <3
deep cuts: #1
warnings: angst/internal self doubt, playful banter, dirty talking, praise, slight degradation, oral (m and f receiving), dry humping, fingering, mentions of exhibitionism and face sitting, nipple sucking, spit, brief moment of anal (tongue only), condom removal, unprotected sex, creampie.
For @enha-stars â may this story rip you apart and stitch you back together.
masterlist
Incheon feels lonely at three in the morning.Â
The overhead lights being turned off because of the lack of travelers at this hour makes the airport feel bigger than it actually is. Itâs too quiet without the familiar sounds of luggage wheels on the linoleum or overhead speakers announcing flight changes every ten minutes. You donât think youâve ever been to an airport so early in your life.Â
Itâs quiet enough to leave you alone with your bothersome thoughts. In the years youâve been away from home as you studied abroad, you canât help but feel a gravitational pull towards life in Seoul and the people in it. The familiarity of your home outweighs the adventure you once yearned for in your youth, and now youâre left with the exciting notion that, this time, youâll know when youâll be coming back.
The terminal has an abundance of seating. Your backpack rests on the seat beside you as Jay double checks the gate number while the rest of your friends find a spot on the seats next to you, attempting to find an ounce of comfort in the dimly lit area.
âI know leaving early saved us hundreds of dollars, but I need sleep,â Sunghoon says from beside you. His usually well kept hair falls in all sorts of places like he woke up without a second thought and hailed a taxi the minute he opened his eyes.Â
âYouâll thank me later,â Jay says. âWe can sleep on the plane.â
âOur flight doesnât leave for another two hours,â Jake whines from beside him as he yawns. âHow am I supposed to sleep on these god forsakes chairs?âÂ
âQuit whining and try,â Jay retorts. He looks behind him to see the rest of your friend group approach before glancing over to you. âDoing okay?âÂ
âHow come Y/N gets preferential treatment?â Jake beckons.Â
âBecause she isnât a nuisance like you,â Jay immediately fires back before diverting his attention towards you again.Â
âIâm alright,â you say, stifling a yawn behind your hand. âJust cold and sleepy.âÂ
âHopefully they turn off the damn AC,â Sunghoon says as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head. âI feel like my veins are being injected with ice.â
âItâll warm up when more people come,â Jay reasons. âI wish there was a coffee stand that was open. I need a cup.âÂ
âI could go for one,â you agree. âIâm trying to stay awake for the next couple of hours so I can sleep on the plane.âÂ
The rest of your friend group appear behind Jay and you look down to check your phone for any notifications when Heeseung catches your eye. It takes you by surprise and you abruptly look back at your screen and busy yourself by aimlessly scrolling through social media as he attempts to occupy the empty seat beside you, but Jake beats him to it.
âIâm gonna freeze to death and then all of you are gonna have to deal with my frozen body.â Jake dramatically slouches down onto the seat until his head finds your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek as if trying to find comfort in you. âJesus, Y/N, youâre so warm.â
You laugh. âI wore layers.âÂ
âYouâre gonna regret that when we get on the plane,â Jake mumbles.Â
Heeseung, from the corner of your eyes, opts to move to the seats in front of you. You try not to pay him any mind.
You snort. âYeah, well I can take these layers off while you freeze until you become an icicle.â Jake hums when you let your head fall onto his.Â
âYou know Iâm not built for the cold. Australiaâs my home.â
âAnd yet you moved to Korea,â Sunghoon provokes.Â
Jungwon and Riki are rummaging through the bag of snacks youâd brought for an early breakfast until the restaurants and coffee stands around you open up. Jakeâs right, itâs far too cold to stop shivering, but you suppose youâre grateful that the discomfort distracts you from sleeping too early.Â
âI canât believe weâre finally going on this trip,â Sunoo says from above you. With your head still on Jakeâs, you turn to look at the boy speaking. âIâm really excited for you to show us where youâve been for the past four years.â
A tiny smile graces your lips. âIâm excited to show you around London and Paris. The latter is a two hour train ride. My friends and I would go every few weekends or so to explore the city. Pictures and videos donât do them justice.â You sigh as you reminisce. âI really did think that Iâd end up living there when I graduated.âÂ
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âMissed home too much, I guess.â You shrug. âThough, I canât believe Riki went through a growth spurt in the last two years that I was gone.â
âYou went back to Okayama before Y/N came back for holiday break, right?â Jungwon asks, looking between the both of you.
âThatâs right,â Riki says. âI was sad that I couldnât see you before you went back to school.â
âNow heâs twice my height.â You gesture at the younger boy. Heâs too shy with the sudden affection and chooses to bury his head in Jungwonâs shoulder. âYou were so little.â
âShut up,â he mumbles.Â
âI canât believe youâre fluent in English now.â Jungwon pushes Riki off of his arm. âYou, Jake, and Jay are kind of scary when you speak English.â
âIt was a little hard at first. I used to watch a lot of American cinema so I could understand it better than I could speak it. But I canât lie, itâs fun being able to talk to them in English.â
âYou were so cute trying to string phrases together during your first summer back,â Jay coos. âTexting her in English was funny because she couldnât understand the difference between spelling.â
âPoor Jake.â You pull your head from his and look down at him. âYou probably had aneurysms looking at my grammar.âÂ
You lift your head to see that the aforementioned has fallen asleep amongst the conversation with his mouth slightly ajar and soft snores echoing past your ear. You donât move when Jay asks if you want Jake off of your shoulder, but you shake your head.
Conversation falls flat when the group unanimously decides that sleepiness is overtaking the need to socialize. Jay keeps checking his watch to look out for the time while your eyes try to look anywhere but at Heeseung.Â
Itâs odd, the way two people can lose a friendship overnight. The heartbreak that came with romantic rejection wasnât nearly as bad as realizing texts and phone calls were far fewer in between the moment you had arrived back in Europe to finish your studies. It hurt to know that neither one of you felt comfortable enough to see each other when you were back in your hometown unless the two of you were invited to hang out with mutual friends.Â
Still, seeing Heeseung after he had rejected your confession felt like a punch to the gut.Â
Long gone were the days of being able to send him unimportant updates about your life abroad or what you were doing at any given summer day back home. You couldnât ask him to go to the restaurants you used to frequent near his house or yours. You certainly couldnât call him at random hours because you were bored and missed his voice.Â
It wasnât for the lack of trying. It felt like things might've gone back to normal after a short period of not talking, but your texts going unanswered and your calls going to voicemail was all you needed to know.Â
Perhaps itâs why youâre comfortable spearheading this vacation with Jay, who had made it a point to visit you in London when youâd chosen to stay behind instead of going home for the holiday break. The two of you had never spent time alone prior to then, but it touched you that heâd go out of his way to dedicate an entire day to visit you when he was there for a family vacation.Â
Coming back to Korea the summer after graduating felt like you were making the right choice, even if your head was telling you to find a home in Europe. Still fresh from your unresolved rejection, stepping off of the plane and knowing you wouldnât be returning back to your universityâs town made the uncomfortable reality of coming face-to-face with Heeseung sink in. Youâd have to live with the consequences.Â
But itâs been eight months since you returned, six months since Jayâs dad was gracious enough to offer you a position on his marketing team, and five months since he encouraged your entire friend group to take a trip to your old stomping grounds.Â
The proposition felt too sudden, especially with how little experience you had working with his team, but youâd spend an evening with the Park family for him to consider you an honorary member. Though, youâre sure Jay mightâve told him something happened between you and Heeseung, especially after telling everyone you wouldnât be coming home for the holidays.Â
To this day, you havenât uttered a single word to your friends about what happened the night Heeseung rejected your love confession. If you know him as well as you think you do, you donât think he's told anyone either.Â
âCafes are opening up,â Jay notes. Sunghoonâs ears perk up. âThree of us should go get food and drinks while the rest save our seats.âÂ
The airport overhead lights mustâve turned on while you were deep in thought. Jayâs right, the coffee stands have opened and itâs likely due to the new influx of travelers whoâve arrived at the airport. Foot traffic is still light and you know Jay wants to get ahead of the crowd.Â
Jake has woken up because of the growing murmur around him and lifts himself off of your head to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He yawns once more but tries his best not to fall asleep again.
âHow long was I out?â
âTwenty minutes, give or take,â Sunghoon answers.
âSorry for sleeping on you,â Jake apologizes.Â
âItâs okay. You needed it.â He scrunches his face, not used to the new lighting. âJay, Iâll come with you to get coffee. I need to stretch my legs.âÂ
âIâll help as well.â Heeseung speaks for the first time in a while and his voice nearly catches you off guard.Â
âSure.â Jay gathers everybodyâs orders before the two of you follow him around the terminal.Â
The line isnât unbearably long, but with Heeseung towering behind you, it feels like youâve been standing for hours. You shift from one foot to the other in order to find a happy medium to no avail. Jay orders for the group and you pay attention to him more than you care to when you realize Heeseung is now standing beside you to make room for more people to wait in line. Heâs considerate like that and you hate it.Â
When the baristas are finished with your order, you reach for the bag of sandwiches in your haste to escape Heeseung. But your fingers touch the steam and you drop the bag into the counter with a hiss.
âCareful,â Heeseung says. âDonât get hurt, please.âÂ
Your clumsy nature was always something he teased you for. Heeseung sounds so sincere about his worry that you think youâd rather him pour all of the hot coffee on you instead.Â
âThanks.â You grab the bag with so much as a single moment of eye contact before realizing Jay has started walking back.Â
Breakfast is eaten in silence. Everyone is too tired to speak, save for Jake whose twenty minute nap has rendered him a little more awake than the rest of you. You and Sunghoon share your egg sandwich and chocolate croissant respectively without a word spoken between the two of you.Â
Meanwhile, Heeseung is staring at the way your thighs are close to Sunghoonâs. He had shifted his body closer to yours in order to form a makeshift table so that sharing pastries wouldnât result in crumbs on the floor. You can feel Heeseung's gaze on your kneecap and it makes your face flush.Â
Sunoo and Jake offer to throw everybodyâs trash away when youâre all done eating. The airport is in full swing by now and everyone has said their graces and apologized to Jay for giving him a hard time with how early they arrived.Â
It seems that sleep has threatened to overtake you. Youâre waiting in line to scan your plane ticket and board the aircraft, but the sudden warmth of the airport has caused you to yawn a few too many times. Rikiâs standing in front of you and his height makes for a perfect makeshift wall to lean on. Or, thatâs what your tired brain is telling you, because you slouch forward and let your cheek rest against his back as you close your eyes.Â
âSleepy girl,â you hear him chuckle. You merely nod in acknowledgement.Â
Your comfort is short lived when he softly nudges you because the line has moved. Soon, you scan your ticket and give the airline agent a smile as thanks before waiting to set foot on the aircraft.Â
Sunghoon notices your dropped shoulders and wordlessly takes your backpack off of you.Â
âYou donât need to do that,â you say with a frown when you see Sunghoon carrying your belongings with him.Â
âLet me hold it,â says Sunghoon. âYou look like youâre about to fall over with the extra weight.âÂ
âIf you insist.â
âLet us take care of you, yeah?â Jay interrupts, bumps his shoulder with yours. âYouâve been running all over Europe these past four years and weâve only seen you a handful of times. You deserve to relax on this trip.âÂ
âI canât believe you guys are being so sweet on me. I know thatâs ending the second we get back to Korea.âÂ
The two boys laugh. âWell, itâs only fair, I guess. Youâre like, the mom friend.â
âJay is the mom friend.â The aforementioned doesnât argue.Â
The squeeze of the aircraft is tight and youâre desperately trying to look for your seat. It seems that Sunghoon is sitting in your row, which excites you, but youâve come to realize that youâve obtained the ungodly middle seat. You make peace with it for a brief moment before Heeseung clears his throat awkwardly.
âLetâs switch seats,â he says from behind you. His ticket shows the window seat right next to yours. âI know you hate middle seats.âÂ
âNo, I couldnât ask that of you.âÂ
âYouâre not asking.â He says it with a smile and it makes you cower into yourself. âYou should move to your new seat so we donât hold up the line.âÂ
Heeseung suggests it in a way that is reminiscent of the days where heâd give up his sweet treats because you wanted a taste. It tugs at your heartstrings but you donât have time to think about that when you notice how the plane is starting to fill up.Â
Reluctantly, you slide into the window seat while Heeseung and Sunghoon follow suit. Your seat belts are buckled and in no time, the aircraft takes flight.Â
For the next hour, Heeseung looks like he wants to say something to you. The headphones you've brought do well to cancel out the noise, for the most part. You can see from the corner of your eye that he glances at you from time to time, but you ignore it and choose to get comfortable for the long haul.Â
When you notice the flight attendants come with the beverage cart, you take it as a cue to get comfortable and try to get some sleep for the next few hours. Likely due to the lack of sleep from the night prior, you fall asleep as soon as your head rests against the plane.
You donât hear Heeseung requesting an extra bottle of water for you.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
When you come to, youâre barely able to register that itâs time to eat the first meal on the flight. You take your headphones off and put it in your backpack as you blink the sleep out of your eyes.Â
âChicken or beef?âÂ
Heeseung looks at you, expecting an answer.
âHm?â
He laughs softly. âChicken or beef?âÂ
Your eyes dart between him and the flight attendants when you realize theyâre about to approach.
âI heard them asking people which meal they want,â Heeseung explains. âSo, chicken or beef?â
âBeef.â You clear your throat.Â
âBeef it is.â
Sunghoon requests chicken when the flight attendant arrives. Heeseung orders beef for the both of you before you get the chance. If he notices you looking at him strangely, he doesnât comment on it.Â
The food comes quicker than expected and the meal tastes decent, though youâre trying your best not to elbow Heeseung as you cut away at your portion. He seems engrossed in the movie in front of him while you peek at what heâs watchingâIron Man, to no oneâs shock.Â
You soften a bit at the nostalgia that comes with Heeseung and Marvel, namely the rainy days in your youth spent marathoning the superhero movies. There had been one year in high school when heâd dressed up as Tony Stark and you as Pepper Potts despite a few girls your age whispering behind your back at the matching costumes out of jealousy. You donât think you can think of the franchise without thinking of Heeseung.Â
The memories almost bring a smile to your face. Heeseung seems to notice you glancing at his screen in between bites. You avoid eye contact when you realize he caught you staring and focus on cutting your meal, praying that Heeseung will stop looking at you and watch the movie instead.Â
But he takes one earbud out and holds it to you.Â
âDo you want to watch it with me?â Heâs halfway through. You tell him such but he doesnât care.Â
âI donât want to jump in halfway through.âÂ
âCome on, itâs not like you havenât done that before.âÂ
Heeseung says it with such nonchalance that it makes your stomach drop. He sees the way your eyes falter for a moment and the way you glance between his hand and the screen. You try to come up with excuses to refuse his offer, but youâve got eight more hours until you land.
âSure,â you settle. Heeseung gives you one headphone and resumes watching.
Between the meals being picked up and tray tables being put away, you manage to fall asleep in your seat. Sunoo sits in front of you and upon coming back from a quick bathroom trip, sees your head resting on Heeseungâs shoulder with his cheek propped on your head. The two of you are fast asleep despite the credits rolling and he canât help but snap a quick photo.Â
You wake up some hours later when Sunghoon says your name. The cabin lights turning on temporarily blinds your vision as you wake up when you realize youâd managed to push yourself back enough to rest yourself against Heeseungâs arm.Â
âOh God,â you say in shock, pulling yourself and the seat upright. âSorry. I didnât mean to fall asleep on you.â
âItâs okay,â he replies, like he means it. âSleeping on planes is uncomfortable. But I know you know that.âÂ
You nod. âYeah. It's too hard to get comfortable.â
âI canât believe weâre spending two weeks in Europe. Iâve never been outside of Korea and Japan before. Youâll have to help me with my English.â
âJay or Jake can also help with that.â You say it with a yawn and Heeseungâs eyes cast to the floor for a brief moment. You barely notice, gathering your own belongings as the flight descends.Â
âYeah, I guess they can.âÂ
When you land, the familiar disorientation of the time difference truly wakes you up. Itâs eleven in the morning when the plane door finally opens and Jayâs moving a step ahead of you as he occupies space in the aisle way to grab his belongings. You follow suit and wait for your turn to exit amongst your friends and other travel goers.
Stepping out of the plane and into the familiar terrain of the Heathrow Airport reignites your attentiveness and you smile at the fond memories of being greeted by your university friends upon arriving. The familiar atmosphere of English travelers milling around the gate warms your chest with nostalgia.Â
You wait for the boys to emerge before signaling Jay, who follows beside you as you walk towards the baggage claim area. You lead him with little trouble down the escalator as the rest of your friends follow suit, yawning in an attempt to wake themselves up.Â
âItâs weird seeing you in your element,â Jay comments as he stands beside you, periodically checking the turnstile for his luggage. âA good kind of weird.âÂ
âThis airport might as well be my second home,â you tell him. âIt feels routine to wait for my luggage at this point.â
âIâm tempted to sleep when we get to the hotel but I donât want to mess up my sleep schedule more than it already is.â Jay pulls his luggage.Â
âYeah, thatâs smart. I think we should take an hour to freshen up and find a place to eat before we go exploring.â
âI can already hear Jake whining about it.âÂ
The two of you share a laugh. âHeâll just have to get used to it. We can have an early night and rest up before we explore tomorrow.âÂ
âHe slept on the plane, for the most part,â Jay informs. âSurprisingly, he didnât snore as loudly as he usually does.â He spots your luggage and takes it off of the belt for you.Â
On the other side of the carousel, Heeseung and Sunoo are standing together to find their own luggages.Â
âYou guys looked pretty cozy,â Sunoo comments. âIt was nice seeing you two like that again.â
âIt felt nice,â he mutters. âI really missed her.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât have to tell Sunoo what happened between the two of you for him to know that you two arenât as close as you used to be. The older boy feels nearly ashamed that his own friends have caught up on his awkward demeanor.
âWell, sheâs back for good and weâre here on vacation. Try not to dwell on whatever it is thatâs making you think too hard.â
Heeeung laughs. âIâll try, Sunoo. Itâs just hard when weâre not as close. How can I compete when weâre in her college town and how will I talk to her in Paris?â
âWell, you never know,â Sunoo says as he picks up his luggage. âAnything can happen in the City of Love.â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The hotel itself is modest in size. Quaint, old cobblestone surrounding the entryway like you remember it. The people are busy walking in and out of the meeting rooms in the lobby as you walk to the concierge to sort out the rooming situation. Jay stands beside to help distribute the keys and the employee behind the desk bids you a good stay.Â
The view from the fifth floor is spectacular already. You catch glimpses of the streets of London below you, street lights decorating the sidewalk and flowers surrounding the city. This feels like the London you remember and it adds a slight pep in your step.Â
âAlright, itâs decided that three of you are gonna share,â you say as you reach the first room. âThe other four will be split into two rooms and Iâll get a room for myself.â
âThatâs not fair,â Jake huffs.Â
âI refuse to share a room with any of you.â You pocket the key to the single bedroom. âPlus, Jayâs mom helped me make the arrangements when we planned the trip.â
âFavoritism,â Jake coughs. You nudge his side.
âTo make it fair, everyone will pick up a key card without knowing the room number and flip it. Thatâll determine who you room with.â
âAlright,â Jungwon says. âFair enough.â
One by one, your friends pick their key cards and discover their roommates. Jake, Sunoo, and Riki are the unlucky three who will be rooming together for the duration of the week. Jay and Sunghoon are in the room directly across from theirs while Heeseung and Jungwon share a room.Â
âLetâs meet at the lobby in an hour,â Jay suggests. âWe can get some lunch and do some exploring before deciding on dinner.â
âWe can take it easy and sleep early tonight,â you add in. âI know that flying internationally is always a bitch and I try to time my sleep when I need to.â
The eight of you part ways. Your suite has a beautiful view of the sky and the room itself makes you feel like the main character of a romance film. The bed is just to your liking with pillows stacked to the nines. It feels nice to have a moment to yourself. With your friend Yunjin backing out of the trip at the last minute due to family conflicts, you hadnât had time to think about anything other than arriving at the hotel safely.Â
You busy yourself with a shower and freshen up, pulling out options for you to wear for the rest of the night. You settle with something stylish yet comfortable and put enough makeup on your face until youâre satisfied with the person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror.Â
True to your word, you enter the lobby when you said you would. Jay and Sunghoon are already downstairs by the seats. Sunghoon stands to offer you the loveseat but you decline politely and sift through your phone until the rest of the guys arrive.Â
When they do, itâs like all eight of you collectively agree that hunger has overtaken you. You know of a nearby cafe that serves sandwiches from your days in university. You lead them to the quaint restaurant that has your friends staring at the art on the walls as you greet the cashier and order.Â
Itâs a slow moment for the eight of you as you all eat in relative silence, the sound of quiet slurping audible from the coffees everyone has chosen to drink.Â
âDid you spend a lot of time here?â Jungwon asks.Â
âAround the area, yeah,â you say, looking around. The outdoor seating area is just towards the edge of the street with the weather being a cool, cloudy day. âI loved coming to cafeâs like these with my friends after class. Weâd study until they kicked us out and then go for a drink or two.âÂ
âWe should go to a pub while weâre here,â Jake suggests. âIâve always wanted to see an English pub. We have a few back in Australia.âÂ
âI know just the place! My friendâs brother owns it and they know Iâll be in town for the next week. It would be nice to catch up with them.âÂ
âHopefully your friends here kept you out of trouble,â Sunghoon teases. You flick him with your fingers.Â
âIâm the most responsible one out of you seven and donât you forget that.âÂ
âDo you miss being here now that youâre back?â Riki asks in between sandwich bites. âGod, I love London already.âÂ
âYouâre going to choke if you donât slow down.â He apologies and takes a single bite. âWell, I think I miss my friends a lot. I donât necessarily miss being in university, but I miss the freedoms that come with it.â
âI still canât believe you spent four years of your life here,â Sunghoon says. âThatâs insane when you think about how you cried when your aunt took you to Tokyo for a week when you were in middle school.â
The boys laugh and you frown. âI was twelve, okay? You wound me. But yeah, I think I grew out of my shell in high school and had this urge to travel but didnât know how to do it. I was surprised when my parents encouraged me to apply to Kingâs College, even more so when I got accepted.â
âYouâve always been too good to stay in one place for too long,â Jake says. âWe got close until halfway through our first year of high school, I think. I always got the sense that you wanted more than what our hometown could offer.âÂ
âI always wanted to move to the heart of Seoul eventually. But I think I needed to come here in order to figure that out.â
âWould you really have stayed in London if you had the chance?âÂ
You avoid looking at Heeseung, whose attention averted from his phone to you.Â
âI donât know,â you say honestly. âBut what I do know is that Iâm happy to be back in Korea and Iâm happy to be traveling to Europe.âÂ
âYou always did have that sense of adventure,â Heeseung says. âI remember you were the one who always got us in trouble when we explored a little too far.âÂ
âYour mom was pissed that time I walked a little too far down the shoreline when we went to Jeju.â The memory feels warm despite your discomfort at having Heeseungâs eyes on you. âI didnât know who she wanted to kill more, me or you.â
âDefinitely me. You could do no wrong in her eyes.â
âWhat happened?â Sunoo asks.Â
âMy family and Heeseungâs took a trip to Jeju Island when we were around seven, if I remember correctly. Iâd taken swimming lessons and thought I could show off my new skills at the beach we were at, but there was a wave that was a bit too much for me to handle.â
âShe was nearly swallowed by the ocean.â Heeseung hits his knee with his palm as he recalls the memory. âI mean, I was seven and it seemed like the wave was gigantic but to my mom, it mustâve been just tall enough that she could see over it.â
âShe yelled at him for the rest of the night because she had to pull me out from under the water,â you add. âI was fine. My parents laughed it off but his mom was so pissed at him for not telling me to come back to the shore.â
Echoes of laughter fill the space. It feels nice to be able to laugh like this with Heeseung, temporarily forgetting why you were so awkward around him in the first place.Â
When the check is paid, you lead the group around the area. Sunghoon takes out his camera and captures everything that inspires him while Sunoo and Riki are off to explore the shops around. It brings warmth to your chest to see your friends enthusiastically exploring the space you once called home. It had been a dream of yours since Jay came to visit and let you drag him around town for the day. Having them with you feels like youâre healing a part of yourself.Â
You duck into the quiet bookstore you used to frequent while you were a student. Filled with novels and trinkets from floor to ceiling, it feels familiar to you.Â
You get lost in thought when you glance at the books in front of you and you donât notice Heeseung approaching.Â
âStill love books?âÂ
âJesus,â you gasp, clutching your chest. âYou scared me.â
âSorry,â he laughs. âSeems like you still scare easily.â You hate that he knows you so well. Clearing your throat, you put the book back.Â
âYes, to both. I used to come to this bookstore a lot when I had free time.âÂ
He looks around. âIt looks like a nice place.â
âThey have a reading nook in the back. The owner is this sweet older woman who was the first person to help me with my English when I first moved. I think she let me read books for free because I used to bring her sweets.â
âThat sounds like something youâd do.â You cast your eyes to the floor. âItâs crazy that thereâs parts of you that I donât know.âÂ
âYeah,â you mumble solemnly. Heeseungâs eyes bore into the side of your face as you pretend to look at the titles of the books.Â
âDo you talk to your college friends often?âÂ
âAll the time. My closest friends live all over the place. Two of them are from the area, one went to live in the States, and a few live in Busan.â
âIâll bet it was nice to have some Korean friends when you moved. I remember you used call me to tell me about your first semester here.âÂ
You canât help but think about the first few months after you moved when you would call Heeseung for a bit of comfort when things felt too overwhelming. With Korea being nine hours ahead, you always felt a little too bothersome phoning when it was the middle of the night for him, not used to the time difference. But he always answered you or called back when he had the chance.Â
Youâd spend hours on the phone, talking to him about how difficult it was to learn English and how making friends was not as easy as you thought it would be. Navigating the city felt lonely and isolating because youâd barely made friends in your classes in the first few weeks. Heeseung was there through all of it, reminding you that being eighteen years old in a new country made you brave despite feeling like you were a failure for not grasping a hold on life like you thought you would.Â
Falling asleep on the phone with him became a routine, too. Whether it was you who fell asleep after a long day or Heeseung, who had stayed up listening to your worries, the sound of his breathing made it feel like you were back home in Korea instead of exploring a grand new world.Â
Soon enough, you could talk your way around and piece together conversations with your classmates until youâd found friends who shared similar interests. Heeseung was the first person you told and the first person to tell you how proud he was that you extended your roots to learn about yourself away from home. You always thrived off of his praise as if making him proud was something you never sought out to do, but appreciated when it happened.
But that was four years ago. Whatever friendship you had with him then is not the one you have with him now.Â
âIt was nice,â you settle. âI miss my college friends. You might get to meet some later in the week.âÂ
âNice,â he mutters to himself when you walk past him. âThatâs really nice.âÂ
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The rest of the week is spent in your old stomping grounds, from touring your campus, to shopping, to sightseeing. The eight of you split up more often than not to explore different areas based on mutual interest. You find that Heeseung tends to gravitate towards you and you arenât sure if itâs because he feels guilty for rejecting you or because he genuinely wants to explore what you want to do.Â
Still though, at least one other person joins you. It feels nice to have a buffer to avoid any awkward conversation or moments, especially when Heeseung trips over his words trying to talk to you.Â
The week goes by too quickly for your liking. Spending time in London has felt like coming back home, in a way. Youâll always have your memories here and this city will remain the same when you return in the future. Now, it no longer feels like the place you escape too because things got too hard back home.Â
Even with Heeseung next to you more often than not, youâve found a happy medium The awkwardness dissipates when you set aside your indifference to show everybody your favorite places, watching them explore the city for themselves.Â
As expected, Riki and Jake have spent a little too much on clothing with the hopes that they can fit it into their luggage on the way back. It fits miraculously.Â
Your friend Leo, the one whose brother owns the pub you used to frequent, tells you heâs excited to see you after all these months. Itâs a Friday night when you arrive, seeing it well populated. But itâs rather early in the evening before the rush hour, so you enjoy the relative quietness before people rush in.Â
Heeseung, on the other hand, has been in a stupor for the latter half of the week. It began when he managed to talk to you in the bookstore, but blossomed when he watched you navigate your way around the city. You barely looked at your phone for directions and had no problem switching to English when you greeted shop owners. Hearing you speak fluently in a language you once struggled with in your childhood made him feel somewhat removed from your life. The two of you used to joke that he was always better with English. Now, the tables have turned.Â
The fear that youâd told your school friends about what transpired between the two of you plants itself in the back of Heeseungâs mind. He worries that your friends wonât like him and that youâve scorned his name, but he chides himself just as much as he worries because he knows you and how deeply you care about people.Â
Heeseung wishes he could go back in time to change what happened. He wishes that heâd admit his mistake and confess to you before you left. It had taken him a long time to confront his own feelings, but seeing you back in Korea made him realize he didnât care if the relationship was long distance or not. He didnât care as long as you were in his life.Â
The months spent apart without phone calls or texts were agony. He loathed hearing what you were up to from your mutual friends or when he accidentally watched your Instagram stories. Seeing you happy without him made his heart lurch, not out of possessiveness, but because he wished you were comfortable enough to share those moments with him.Â
To boil it down, Heeseung hopes this trip can undo a yearâs worth of his ignorance.Â
But before he can think about that, your exclamation pulls him towards a strange man before you.Â
âLeo!âÂ
The sheer volume of your voice doesnât go unnoticed by Heeseung, who eyes the bloke the second you make a dash for him. His heart winces when your arms wrap around the strangerâs neck and as he spins you around, squeezing you for good measure. He isnât pleased when Leo settles to let his arm rest around your waist instead of letting you go. Heâs even less so when you donât attempt to separate yourself from him.Â
âHey, pretty girl,â Leo says with a boyish grin, accent making Heeseung nearly roll his eyes.Â
âThis is Leo.â You let your head rest on his shoulder for a brief moment. âHeâs one of my friends from university. I think we met in, what, second year?âÂ
âSecond year, auditing class with Professor Donahue on Mondays and Wednesdays,â he says. âGod, that class was so boring.âÂ
âHeâs the friend whose brother owns the bar,â you explain to them. You introduce Leo to each friend respectively. âJay and Jake are my friends who are fluent in English.âÂ
âYou can speak it and understand it as well, right?â Leo asks as he shakes Heeseungâs hand.
He nods while giving him a tight smile. âJust a little. Iâm practicing.âÂ
âNah, you sound perfect already.â
Heeseung feels indifferent to see you in your element with people from your past. The bartender, who is Leoâs brother, tells you the first two rounds are on the house after he checks IDs. Riki and Jungwon are excited to have their first pub experience after you make them promise to take it slow and drink lots of water in between.Â
âItâs a bit weird seeing her be like that,â Leo says to Jay with a laugh. âWhen we first got to know each other, it was me who had to tell her to watch how much she drank.â
âY/N, drinking?â Jake asks. âNo way. Back in Korea, she got drunk maybe twice a year.âÂ
âShe and a mutual friend, Elizabeth, were as thick as thieves. They were like a package deal before we all graduated and until she moved to the States. Theyâd always go a little too hard after exam season was over or if people invited them out on a Saturday night.â
âY/Nâs always been the responsible one out of the bunch,â Jay adds. âIn high school, there was one time she got so drunk that she nearly scaled the roof of my friendâs house. Heeseung nearly fell off trying to get her down. After that, she swore off alcohol.âÂ
Heeseung makes a few comments in the conversation as he watches you catch up with Leoâs brother and as you facilitate conversation between the rest of the guys. Thereâs a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realizes thereâs a lot he doesnât know about you.Â
The two of you talked less as you became more comfortable in your environment. At first, Heeseung took it to heart and made the assumption that youâd chosen your friends in England over him, but a stern conversation with his mother made him realize he was being juvenile. He could only comfort you so much when he was oceans away. It was probably a good thing that you were talking to him less because that mustâve meant you were as overwhelmed or scared like you were when you first moved to England.Â
Youâd still call him a few times a week before bedâwhen Heeseung was getting ready for the dayâto update him on everything that happened in the past week. You two texted more frequently than you conversed, sending him pictures of new places youâd discovered or him sending photos of your mutual friends with sad faces at the notion of you not being able to be there with them.Â
Heeseung had always felt a bit jealous of your time abroad. He loved Korea, but he yearned for the same sense of adventure you once had. Only, he hadnât figured it out until halfway through university when it was too late to transfer or apply for a semester abroad. When Jay had proposed this trip and that his father would expense half of it, he jumped at the opportunity to go.Â
Although, he didnât know it would hurt him this much.
Hearing you talk about your life here made him feel like it was his fault that he barely knew your life in England. It was so easy when the two of you lived a few blocks from each other; heâd run into you with your other friends on the street or know exactly where you were likely to be at any given moment. He knew you felt the same way about him too, as you always knew where to find him if you really needed him.Â
But it feels like this is the first time heâs seeing you for who you are as an adult, not the child that he grew up with.Â
Surely, Heeseung always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. You were always the more outspoken one who stood up for what you believed in, no matter how big or small. You never backed down if someone was giving you a hard time and it was one of the reasons why Heeseung had struck up a conversation with you as you two played in the sandbox after a few kids had stolen the toys he was playing with. That sense of responsibility and gratuity followed you into your adolescent and teenage years, too. Not once had Heeseung heard anyone say a bad word about your character. Heâd like to think he had something to do with it, but deep down, Heeseung knows it was all you.Â
When you confessed nearly a year ago, Heeseung felt like his heart mightâve ceased to function properly. Truth be told, heâs never taken his daydreams about being your boyfriend too seriously. He always wondered if it was normal to develop small crushes on your girl-friends at a young age and wondered if those butterflies in his stomach was because of how often his other friends at school would playfully tease him until they stopped. Jake and Sunghoon had been people who teased him for having a girl as his best friend until they befriended you too, and Heeseung was satisfied when they stopped with their comments. They, too, could understand why Heeseung was so keen on keeping you around.Â
But the butterflies never quite left him. Your smile was too bright. Your voice was too angelic. Everything about you and how you fit into his life felt a little too perfect; Heeseung hated cliches in his youth and this felt like one big cliche joke. He knew his mother didnât approve of the girls sheâd see him with, even in college when he got into his first serious relationship. She wasnât as enthusiastic about her as she was with you. At the time, the frustration seemed too biased until it ended in a way that made Heeseung realize his mother truly knew what was best for him.
Heeseung never considered the possibility of dating you until you confessed your feelings for him.Â
As much as he plays off being the spontaneous, go-with-the-flow type of person, Heeseung gets scared when things go unplanned. He backs away from courage and from moments that make or break his character. He likes to play it safe unless he can make a calculated risk in his favor, choosing to let others fall flat on their face and learn from their mistakes. Heeseung had never considered the possibility of you having feelings for him either. That fateful summer night is one he will always remember, especially in the way the light in your eyes dimmed when he told you he didnât feel the same.Â
He remembers your quick apologies and the way you backed away too quickly for his liking. He had tried to reach for your hand to tell you it was okay and that he didnât feel awkward about it, but youâd shook your head and merely told him youâd see him later. Heeseung had never seen you leave so abruptly. But he figured youâd get over it, as you typically do when things donât go your way. Youâre resilient like that.
Heeseung assumed you needed time to heal from the awkward encounter and hadnât reached out to you for a week. He didnât think much of it at the time and hadnât made plans with you until he realized youâd be leaving for Europe the week following. By then, it had been too late, because he stopped by your house the morning after you left.Â
Getting together with Seulgi after you left felt too easy. He knew sheâd always had a thing for him but brushed her off for reasons he couldnât fathom until he bumped into her a few weeks after youâd left without so much as a text or a voicemail. Feeling a bit irritated at your wordless departure, Heeseung took Seulgi out on a few days to take his mind off of you.
Except, it didnât work. Heeseung found himself fantasizing about what it would be like to go out to dinner with you when she was sitting in front of him. When sheâd texted him to thank him for his time, Heeseung imagined the kind of things you would say after your first date. When he kissed her for the first time underneath the twinkling lights of a local fair, Heeseung pictured you as he closed his eyes. The fantasy was ruined when Seulgiâs perfume touched his olfactory senses, pulling him back into reality. The guilt of kissing somebody who wasnât you ate at his chest the moment he saw Seulgi smile at him from where he stood.Â
He tried his best with her but broke it off when the unrest overtook his mental wellbeing. It was amicable, for the most part. All Heeseung knows is that his parents (along with all of his friends) were happy that he hadnât continued with that relationship.
âY/N used to talk a lot about you, Heeseung,â Leo says, bringing the aforementioned out of his thoughts. âWeâd be out at dinner or something and sheâd always run outside to answer your calls.â
âReally?â Heeseung says out of surprise. He didnât know you did that.Â
âYou bet,â Leo replies. âShe talked a lot about Korea when weâd hang out with our friends but she seemed to talk about you the most.âÂ
Heeseung wonders if you told him about what happened between the two of you the summer before you left.Â
âIâm flattered.â Heeseung honestly doesnât know what else to say. He chooses to tell the truth. âI missed her a lot. I grew up with her living a few blocks away. It felt weird not to be with her when I went to college.âÂ
âY/N said the same thing. Every time sheâd be homesick, sheâd tell us she needed to call you.â Leoâs words bring a warm flush to Heeseungâs face but he chooses to blame it on the alcohol.Â
âI heard my name,â you say as you walk to where theyâre sitting. âNot talking shit about me, my dear Leo?â
âNever,â he teases. âAlthough, Iâm sure I still have some pretty photos of you and Elizabeth at this very pub.â
âOh God, please donât.â You push his shoulder when he moves to reach his phone. âThose do not need to see the light of day and you definitely need to delete them.â
âHow else am I going to blackmail you?âÂ
âYouâre the worst.â You look cute when your nose is a bit red from drinking. You always did suffer from redness to the face when you drank. âI canât believe Elizabeth and I let you into our friend group.â
âHey! I was the one who introduced you to her in the first place.â
âIâll bet if I texted her right now, Iâd have it in writing that sheâd choose me over you.â
âOkay, you donât need to do that because she definitely would.âÂ
The group laughs and conversations flow nicely as a few other friends from your university days join you later in the evening. It feels like a reunion, of sorts. It feels especially wonderful to have most of your favorite people under one roof despite the slight language barrier. But everyone seems to get along well enough, especially Riki, who has taken a liking to your Japanese friend you met on your first day of orientation.Â
When the room gets too hot, you make your way outside where youâre fenced in by a metal barricade. Itâs cold outside, but the alcohol running through your veins keeps you warm enough that you decide not to go back to ask for a jacket. Heeseung wants to follow you but stays still in his seat when he sees Sunghoon exit the door after you leave.Â
The wine in your hands is still halfway full. Youâve decided that youâve taken the lead far too many times this week and that Jay can handle getting everyone home. Itâs your fourth drink of the night, just enough to keep you buzzed for the duration of your time at the pub.Â
You register the door sliding open and make room for Sunghoon when you spot him over your shoulder.Â
âYour friends are really nice,â he comments, leaning on the railing next to you.Â
âTheyâre the best,â you say with a fond smile. âI owe them a lot. I only started enjoying my time here when we became friends.âÂ
âYou know, I was a little worried that you wouldnât be happy when you moved to London for the first time.â
âWhat makes you say that?âÂ
âI think a lot of people would describe you as brave and as someone who will dive in head first to things that scare you, which is true for the most part. But I think people rarely pay attention to the vulnerable side of people like you because it looks like you have it all together.â
âI was a total wreck when I first moved,â you said. âI donât know if you remember the few times I called you when Heeseung wasnât able to pick up.â
âOh, I remember. That was the first time you cried to me and now you have no issue getting your snot on my sweaters.â You swat his arm at the joke but he dodges you just in time. âI remember Yeji getting worried about you too. She was so young and always said she wanted to be brave like you.â
âSweet girl,â you say.Â
âThe two of you are similar. I watch out for her a lot, you know? Our relatives always think she puts on a brave face and donât think twice when she talks about her fears. They always tell her sheâll be fine, but itâs hard to actualize that when you donât believe it.â
âI thought about coming home a few times when things got really hard,â you confess. âI was out of my depth because I couldnât speak English very well. I could only speak fragments and getting my way around campus was so hard.âÂ
âI donât know how you did it, if Iâm being honest. But Iâm glad that you stuck around long enough to see what your life would be like.â
âMe too. Iâd really love to think Iâve become a better person now that Iâve gotten the chance to know myself beyond the comfort of my home, you know? I love you guys and I love my family, but sometimes being back in Korea felt like I was listening to what was expected of me instead of what I wanted.â
Sunghoon laughs. âYeji said the same thing a few weeks before we left for London. Part of me thinks sheâs considering studying abroad. I found a few college brochures in her room.â
âDonât you know better than to snoop inside your sisterâs bedroom?â
âYah,â he says. âYeji steals too many of my sweaters and she said I could get them back.â
âYouâre just too easy to make fun of, Hoonie.âÂ
A comfortable silence passes over the both of you. The audible sound of people talking amongst themselves and the beautiful lights of the city illuminate what makes London so beautiful. It isnât until Sunghoon speaks that you pull yourself out of your daydreams.
âI heard you that night,â Sunghoon confesses.Â
âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
âThe night of the bonfire.I know you told Heeseung you liked him.â
You turn your head to him. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
âI figured youâd tell me whenever you felt ready,â he says with a shrug. âYou went back to London a couple of weeks later and I wanted to spend time with my friend. There never seemed to be a right time.â He shoves his hands in his pockets and balances from one leg to another. âYou looked really sad, Y/N. Iâve never seen you look that way before.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence.Â
Sunghoon listens as you sigh and you push yourself from the railing. Your back touches the cold metal as you look beside yourself to see him.Â
âI deluded myself into thinking Heeseung mightâve felt something for me too,â you admit. âItâs not that girls and boys canât be friends, but towards the end of our friendship, it was like something shifted.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âHeâdâŚtouch me longer. Hugs, pulling me by my waist at parties, lingering near me at Rikiâs bonfires, that kind of thing. He started playing with my fingers a lot more. Heeseung never used to touch me like that. Heâd interrupt conversation with guys to pull me away. I always knew what he was doing but I liked him so much that I didnât care if he interrupted a good thing between me and someone else.âÂ
Sunghoon purses his lips and watches as you look ahead at the glass doors to see your friends laughing. âI noticed that too.â
âWhen we were alone, it felt like he was one sentence away from telling me he loved me more than a friend. Not that platonic crap that the eight of us tell each other, but the deep shit where that kind of love comes from kindred souls.âÂ
âHeeseungâs too stupid to see whatâs good for him anyway.â Sunghoon pulls a laugh out of you and heâs glad to hear it.Â
âBut then I confessed to him the night of that bonfire.â You bite your lip at the memory, willing yourself not to tear up. âI mean, you heard him. He told me he didnât feel the same way and didnât want to ruin our friendship because it was perfect as it was.â
âAnd then you heard heâd gotten together with Seulgi.â
âYeah.â You nod once and look down at your drink.Â
âThey werenât together long,â Sunghoon says. âShe wanted more but he didnât want to give that to her. The boys were confused because he seemed to be really happy with her until he broke it off so sudden. I always thought it was because he felt too guilty after rejecting you.â
âWhat did the guys think?â
âRiki hated her. I have a feeling it was because she wasnât you, though. I think Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jake were surprised when heâd gotten together with Seulgi after you left and were trying to be nice about it. Jay was indifferent, but then again, you two werenât as close as you were with the rest of them until he visited you while you were away.â
âDid his opinion change?âÂ
âDefinitely. Heeseung had a period of time in the new year where he went on a couple of dates with her, telling us he mightâve made a mistake by breaking things off too soon.â Sunghoon shakes his head as he tells the story. âJay was unbelievably pissed.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âYou know how he gets when heâs angry. Heâs quiet and doesnât talk until heâs calm. But it was like a volcano erupted, or something. Jay came back mid January to find out Heeseung had been seeing Seulgi for a couple of weeks and completely lost it on him. He said things about not knowing a good thing if it spat in his face and how he ruined every chance of happiness because of his own doing.âÂ
âWowâŚI didnât know Jay said that.â
âIt was scary. Heeseung tried to fight back and say it was his life and that Jay didnât have a right to say what he could and couldnât do, but the poor guy never stood a chance. Jay asked him if he would be happy if you came back to see him dating Seulgi and that shut him up real quick.â
âWhat do I have to do with it?â you ask. âHe rejected me before I left.âÂ
âI donât know,â Sunghoon says truthfully. âI always thought that Heeseung was trying to redeem himself through Seulgi. But I guess weâll never truly know.âÂ
âItâs been almost a year,â you reminisce. âYouâd think I wouldâve gotten over him by now after spending time in Europe with, well, other boys.â
âHeâs not just any guy who rejected you,â Sunghoon says. He looks out at the street, finding the words to say. âYou two had been best friends since before me or the guys got to know either of you. Thereâs a special kind of bond between people who grew up together, you know?
âI think a large part of you misses being friends with him. Sure, rejection always stings, but itâs knowing that you donât have your best friend that hurts you more.â
âJeez,â you chide. âYou always know how I feel.â
Sunghoon laughs. âIâm just observant. I know that itâs hard to be on this trip because Heeseungâs trying to be that friend you once knew. He probably feels guilty for giving you the cold shoulder during your first few weeks back in Seoul.â
You roll your eyes. âYeah, well heâs not doing a great job showing it. Life would be easier if he left me alone.â
âBut do you want that?âÂ
You cast your eyes to the floor. âNo, I donât.âÂ
Satisfied with your answer, Sunghoon nods.Â
âYou know, I knew Heeseung had feelings for you the night we played spin the bottle just before we graduated high school.â
âDonât be ridiculous, Hoon. He never liked me.âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âDo you remember what happened that night?âÂ
âVaguely. I remember that being my first time trying alcohol and Jake having to cut me off when I couldnât walk straight.â
He nods. âWhen you were sober enough to string a few sentences together, some girl suggested playing spin the bottle. When it was your turn to spin, it landed on me.âÂ
You make a face. âAh. I do remember kissing you.âÂ
âWell you donât have to look grossed out,â Sunghoon teases. âEveryone knew it was awkward because weâd been friends for like, five years at that point. We were both so flustered that the kiss lasted for maybe two seconds before everyone cheered.
âHeeseung was pissed. I saw him looking at me like Iâd killed his family, or something. I swore I could see steam coming out of his ears. He wouldnât talk to me for a week because Iâd been your first kiss.â
âSeriously?âÂ
âDead serious.â Sunghoon laughs at the memory. âHe wouldnât answer my texts. In the group chat we were in, heâd acknowledge everyone but me. It wasnât until a week later when we were all hanging out that I told him there was nothing between us and it was awkward to kiss you in front of our friends.âÂ
You stand there, dumbfounded. âHuh.â
âIâve never told anyone that,â he confesses. âI doubt anyone remembers us kissing except for him. I assumed this would be a story Iâd tell you and the guys when you both eventually got together.âÂ
He murmurs an apology. âItâs okay, Hoon. Iâm glad you told me. I guess Iâm justâŚconfused. Why did he reject me if he allegedly liked me?âÂ
âI wish I knew. He was miserable when you left and refused to talk about you moving back to Europe for your final year abroad. Heeseung was really sad when he found out you werenât coming home for Christmas break.âÂ
âI couldnât bear to see him. I was so heartbroken and the friends here tonight were consoling me in the way they knew how. I knew Iâd be a depressed wreck if I came back home.â
âThat makes sense,â Sunghoon affirms for you. âIâm glad you met up with Jay while he was here, though. You got some kind of Christmas gift from home.âÂ
âMe too. I feel like Jay and I got closer because of it. I knew he could tell something was off but he didnât say anything about it. Something tells me he knows more than he cares to say.âÂ
âYou know Jay.â You both nod. âMore observant and caring than the rest of us. Part of me thinks Heeseungâs jealous of your new friendship with him since the two of you basically planned this whole trip on your own.âÂ
âWell, Jay has more international travel experience and his dad knows the right people,â you say with a shrug. âI spent four years of my life here. It makes sense.â
âTo us, yes. To Heeseung? I think his feelings cloud his judgment.âÂ
âHe never used to confuse me,â you admit. âWe used to talk about how much we hated when people made us guess how they felt or what they were thinking. We always said it was unfair if you make people you love, make you guess their intentions. But heâs doing that to me and itâs been driving me insane.
âSometimes I wonder if I shouldâve kept my mouth shut. I watched him date girls in high school. I watched him with what I thought would be his first serious girlfriend during our first year of college before he went through that short hookup phase. God, that hurt me so bad and I couldnât say anything because it wasnât my life.âÂ
âFor what itâs worth, I think it was brave of you to confess to him,â Sunghoon tells you. âI donât say that as a cheap cop out to make you feel better either. You know me, Iâm really sentimental about things even if I donât come off that way. To confess your feelings to someone who you loveâŚone can only hope to hear that someday.âÂ
You nudge your shoulder with his. âYou say that like you didnât have girls begging for a date.âÂ
Sunghoon laughs and you know what he means.Â
âYouâve always been the bravest of all of us,â he continues. âI think the reason why I wanted to be friends with you when we were kids is because you didnât take bullshit from people. I was too shy to stand up for myself between my career as a figure skater while trying to be a normal kid. You and Heeseung offered that kind of normalcy. I could see you two in the bleachers at my competitions and then weâd go out for ice cream like it was any other day.âÂ
âWell, now youâre going to make me cry.âÂ
âI mean it, Y/N. Youâre a great friend and a great person. I hope Heeseung hasnât fucked things up too bad that you leave his life for good.âÂ
You shiver. âMe too.âÂ
âTalk to him,â Sunghoon advises. âDo it before we leave. Youâre removed from your life back home.â You open your mouth to refute but he beats you to the chase. âIf it doesnât work out, then youâll know your answer when you go home and you can resume your life without Heeseung in it.âÂ
Sunghoon leaves you alone with your thoughts but makes you promise that youâll join the group soon.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
When you walk back into the pub, Jake clouds your personal space before you can even think about ordering another drink.
âJesus, Hoon. Couldnât you have offered Y/N your jacket if you guys were gonna be out that long? Poor girl looks like sheâs about to freeze to death.
Jakeâs affinity for the dramatic never ceases. Your friends look at your goosebumps and the way youâre acclimating to the warmer temperature inside while Sunghoon merely rolls his eyes.
âIâm fine,â you say. âWe only came in because I started to get cold.â
âLet me get my jacket for you,â Heeseung says as he rises from his seat.Â
âNo.â Youâre sure you say it too abruptly, but you canât bear the thought of wearing his clothes after the conversation you just had. âIâm fine, honestly.âÂ
âStop being stubborn and wear a damn jacket,â Leo chides, wrapping his coat around your shoulders. âYou have this habit of never bringing one when you need it and it drives me crazy.âÂ
âBut thatâs what I have you for, donât I?âÂ
As you tug the material closer to your body, Sunghoon watches as Heeseung stares at Leo with a hard expression.Â
âNot when youâre back in Seoul, you goof.â Leo takes your empty glass. âIâm glad you have these guys back at home. They seem really good for you.âÂ
âI love them a lot.â You say it so tenderly with your head tilted as you look at the boys youâd call family, only for them to coo at your clearly vulnerable, inebriated state.
âMy mother, my older sister, and best friend,â Riki says with a hiccup as he engulfs you in a hug. âSeriously, I would be dead in a ditch without you.âÂ
âI donât know a better person,â Sunoo chimes in from where heâs seated.Â
âThere was one time where Y/N had this lemon phase where she couldnât stop drinking lemonade or eating lemon candy,â Jake tells the group. âNow I think of her every time I see something yellow.âÂ
âThatâs kind of fitting though, isnât it?â Leo asks. âYellow for sunshine.âÂ
Everybody agrees and it makes your cheeks and neck warm up. You hide yourself in Leoâs jacket, but God, Heeseung wishes he could hide you in his arms instead.Â
Still, he canât help but agree with Leo. If thereâs any truth to his words, itâs that you are made of pure, unfiltered sunshine.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The next morning, all eight of you board the train for a two-hour ride to Paris. For the next five days, youâll be acting as a tourist rather than tour guide, for the most part. Jay volunteers to take the lead since you did most of the heavy lifting in London. You do, however, chime in to give him a few recommendations from your prior visits to the city.Â
Sunghoonâs advice plagues your thoughts, so much so that Jungwon has had to guide you out of the hotel and into the cab before arriving at the train station. Both he and Sunoo look a bit worried about you, but you wave them off and tell them you had one too many to drink. You know they donât believe you but youâre grateful they donât press on.Â
Paris is much more beautiful than you remember it, and itâs likely due to the fact that youâre here on vacation, not because you wanted a weekend getaway to escape the stress of midterms and exams. The people are just as indifferent as ever. Youâre able to practice some of your basic French to order coffee and pastries for everyone. Itâs a feat that leaves Heeseung impressed and you try not to acknowledge him when you see his jaw drop.Â
The hotel itself is more beautiful than the last. You have the room with the balcony and double doors leading to a breathtaking view of the buildings and streets below. Itâs unlike anything youâve ever seen, even if the streets are littered with trash and the people are a bit too loud. It still feels charming.Â
The rooming situation is the same as London, with you in the single room and the rest of the boys to fend for themselves. This time, Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon are sharing the three bedroom with Heeseung and Jake sharing another, and Sunoo and Riki in the other double. The hotel mustâve miscalculated the rooming situation and put your single room at the end of the hallway away from the others, but you arenât complaining.Â
The first few days are filled with happiness and dread, namely when you see Heeseung as you begin your day. He has a knack for making you laugh until you come to the notion that you really shouldnât be finding his jokes very funny because he doesnât deserve that kind of reaction from you.Â
In fact, he doesnât deserve your attention after ignoring you for as long as he has. Seeing Leo again brought up memories of crying in his flat with Elizabeth and drinking too much wine to forget the pain temporarily. Your friends invited you to a night spent in the pub after Leo begged his brother to close it for the night so that you could have a free space to drink and talk about Heeseung until your voice gave out.Â
Your irritation carries over and Heeseung can tell when you move away from him when he tries to stand next to you. Heâs hurt but he tries to understand that you have a right to be, even if he knows in his heart the reasons why he acted the way he did. He just needs to find time to talk to you, even if the conversation doesnât end the way he hopes it will.Â
With two days left on the trip, youâve eaten your way through the streets of Paris and have done your fair share of shopping. Each of the boys had bought you a small token of their appreciation (Heeseung paid for your latte, Jay purchased a small wallet from Prada, Jake gifted you new sunglasses, Sunghoon a charm for your bracelet, Sunoo a bowl of pasta for lunch, Jungwon a pair of earrings, and Riki a new jacket that looks similar to his from back home). It warms your heart to know you have people who care about you enough to show and tell you.Â
The Eiffel Tower calls your name one late afternoon and by the time you all manage to walk up, the sun is setting below the horizon. There are couples around Heeseung who are taking photos left and right, one of which asks him to take a few pictures for them. He canât help but wish he was in their place, asking a stranger to take a photo of the two of you as he kisses the apple of your cheek. Heeseung snaps a few good ones before the couple thanks him.Â
It doesnât help that you look like a walking goddess. Truth be told, Heeseung wanted to buy you more than just coffee when the boys agreed to each give you something as a token of their gratitude. Heeseung had come up with a list of ideas he wanted advice for, but it was Sunghoon whoâd told him to keep it simple for your sake. He was right, as always, because you thanked him with a pleasant smile instead of ignoring him like you had in the days prior. Heeseung gets the feeling that you wouldnât appreciate a grand gesture from him right now.
He hates that he canât read you like he used to. He hates that the other friends know you better than he does, and he hates that heâs in the City of Love and he canât call you his girlfriend.Â
Riki and Jungwon are more perceptive than they let on. Heeseung sees the way their eyes dart between the two of you and how theyâve been trying their best to navigate the new dynamic. Riki, especially, hadnât been receptive of Seulgi the first time Heeseung invited her to a bonfire. Heeseung had overheard the younger boy telling Jungwon it wasnât the same without you there and that heâd rather go home than spend another minute getting to know someone who wasnât you.Â
At the time, Heeseung was beyond irritated and refused to speak to Riki for the rest of the night. Now, however, he understands why Riki acted the way he did.Â
You look so beautiful underneath a Parisian sunset. Heeseung knows heâs staring. Heâs grateful that youâre too preoccupied with Sunghoon taking photos of you. But God, he wishes youâd laugh at him like that.Â
âYou should talk to her,â Jake says from beside him. Heeseung jumps at his sudden appearance. âSorry, didnât mean to scare you.âÂ
âI want to.â Heeseung says it out loud for the first time. He wants to work it out with you and get his best friend back in whatever way youâll allow. âI miss her, Jake. I miss being her friend and I fucked up when I rejected her.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât notice Jakeâs eyes widen at the sudden admission. Jake had his fair share of theories and considered Heeseung to be his best friend, but even he knew there was a limit about what he was willing to share and what he kept to himself. Heeseungâs friendship with you was something he stopped trying to learn a few years after he got to know you; Heeseung had a soft spot for you and had no problem letting people know that. It wasnât until you mentioned to Jake that you hadnât spoken to Heeseung in months that he knew something was up.Â
âShe clearly cares about you,â Jake says. âShe wouldnât be on this trip if she didnât.â
âBut sheâs been ignoring me the past three days. And before you say it, yes, I know that she has a valid reason to, but Iâm hurt and I want to make things better.â
âYou have to let her take the reins and let her talk to you when she wants to,â Jake advises. âYou know how she is. Y/Nâs headstrong and she might not know how she feels right now, but she always knows whatâs best for her. Youâre good for her, Heeseung. Let her come to that conclusion on her own.â
Heeseung relinquishes his breath. âYouâre right. I justâŚmiss her. A lot. Things will never go back to the way they used to but I donât think I want them to. I used to pray every night that I could somehow make everything like it was before that night but now I want more than that. She deserves better and I want to be better for her, not that coward who was too scared to try something new with the person he loves.âÂ
His friendâs words bring a smile to Jakeâs lips. âWell I, for one, believe in you. I think the rest of the guys do too.âÂ
âI know,â Heeseung says softly with his eyes on you.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
You canât believe you leave Europe in two days as you sip your wine. Jayâs father was gracious enough to reach out to his friend at the hotelâs restaurant to negotiate having this meal compensated. Itâs a gesture you hold onto and make a mental note to write a thoughtful note when you settle back in Korea. Jay sits next to you and partakes in the wine activities with you, namely picking out two different bottles to share with the table. Talking to Jay like this makes you feel otherworldly, like youâve gotten more experience out of life since you chose to study abroad. You feel lucky, in a sense, that your life has given you more than you expected it too.Â
The younger boys head upstairs after dessert and bid you all a goodnight in case they donât see you before falling asleep. For the next thirty minutes or so, itâs the five of you laughing away at the hotel bar like old times, reminiscing about embarrassing moments from high school or how difficult it was to hear Jakeâs Korean when he first moved.Â
The Australian leaves as soon as he yawns. Sunghoon, a little too tipsy upon standing from the bar table, presses a gentle kiss to your head when he says goodnight to the rest of you. Jay gives your arm a reassuring squeeze and you understand for the first time that he always knew you better than he let on. He says goodnight and tells the bartender to charge his room whenever you two close the tab.Â
Now, you and Heeseung are sitting together, mere inches apart as the Parisian sky twinkles with stars above the two of you.Â
Neither of you know what to say. You fidget with the glass and contemplate on whether you should head up as well. Heeseung can sense your awkwardness and wish he hadnât messed things up so badly that you canât stand to be alone with him without thinking of an escape plan. He misses when the two of you could sit in complete silence and still feel comfortable around one another.Â
âThank you for showing us around,â he speaks up before you can make the decision to leave. âI remember you talking about all of the places you showed us when you first moved here. Iâve always wanted to visit.âÂ
âReally?âÂ
Heeseung nods. âI used to be so jealous that you got the opportunity to travel abroad every time you talked about it. But I think I like it better this way, with you as the tour guide.âÂ
That brings a laugh out of you and Heeseung canât help but smile. He doesnât care if itâs the alcohol allowing your walls to come down. Heâs grateful for the chance.Â
âI used to write down places I wanted to show you,â you confess. âThere were so many places that reminded me of where weâd used to hang out as kids. It always felt like there was a part of you with me.âÂ
His heart melts. âI wish I couldâve visited you while you were here. Your friends seem pretty cool.âÂ
âThey are.â Heeseung watches you smile. âTheyâve been with me through a lot and helped me get over this fear of failing in a different country. My friend Suki, who now lives in Tokyo, was the first person to really get me out of my shell and convinced me to go out. Awkward Y/N? Going to clubs?âÂ
âYou know how to dance, though. I bet you killed it.âÂ
âA little too much, perhaps. I didnât date or hook up much, but there were a few times that I did.â Heeseungâs heart begins to sink as does his hope. This is not where he wanted to lead the conversation but his ears perk up at your next point. âBut I wasnât happy doing that so I stopped making out with random guys on the dance floor.â
âIf only thirteen-year-old you could see you then,â he teases. You bump his shoulders with yours and he feels electricity running down his arm.Â
âI think I did a good job adjusting and learning. There were times where I felt like I didnât know what I was doing with my life because I couldnât decide if I wanted to stay in London or go back to Seoul. That burden felt too much.âÂ
âFor what itâs worth, Iâm glad you came back home.âÂ
Your head whips to look at Heeseung, who can only sit and watch as your eyes begin to water.Â
âWhy didnât you say anything when I texted and called you?â you ask meekly, your voice barely above a whisper. âWhy didnât you see me when I came back?âÂ
âI know.â He gulps. âIâm sorry, Y/N. Iâm so, so sorry.âÂ
You sniffle and Heeseung wants to cry too. âEveryone came to pick me up at the airport. I kept looking for you but you werenât there. Jake had to pull me away from baggage claim because he said you werenât coming but I didnât listen. I told him he was wrong. You always come.âÂ
Heeseungâs soul breaks with every crack in your voice and with the way your lips quiver. He sees your mascara beginning to smudge and resists the urge to wipe it away so that your eyes may look fresh and dry.Â
âIâm sorry,â he repeats. âI have no excuse.âÂ
âI wanted my best friend but you never showed up for me. You didnât call or text me when you knew I was home and I had to wait until Rikiâs bonfire to see you.â
âI was an idiot and stupid,â is the only answer Heeseung can come up with. âI used to be so scared of change. You left the country and I had to start thinking about what I wanted to do with my life but it was so hard without you in it.â
âThen why did you leave me?âÂ
His heart shatters.Â
Youâve turned away from him in an attempt to walk back to your hotel room. However, Heeseung has learned his lesson. He doesnât let you stray too far and gently tugs your wrist to pull you into his chest and is surprised when you donât fight him off of you.
He doesn't care that your tears have stained his shirt or that youâre hiccupping into his clothes. All Heeseung wants to do is let you know heâs here for you now, despite his past mistakes and clouded judgment. Heeseung loves you for your bravery and vulnerability. He can only hope you understand that.Â
âLetâs go to your room, yeah? I can help you take your makeup off.â
Whether from the alcohol or your need to be near Heeseung, you let him guide you to the elevator. He digs in your purse for your room key and coaxes you to sit in the bathroom while he locks the door. This routine feels a bit familiar; in his youth, he learned how you like to take your makeup off and get ready for bed after a particularly rough night drinking. He could never understand why he hadnât minded taking the extra step and to keep himself sober when you were in the vicinity, but he understands it now.Â
Heeseung meets you in the bathroom and washes his hands before putting your hair in a ponytail. He bites his lips when he sees your fresh tears and mutters another apology, forcing himself not to wipe away the tears with his fingers. Instead, he lets you blot them with a tissue before gathering makeup remover in his hands and gently smears it all over your skin.Â
âI didnât like change,â he says after a quiet beat. âI was too cowardly to take what I wanted, even if the person I wanted said they wanted me too. I donât know why I didnât chase after you that night or why I thought you needed space before you left. I donât have an explanation for any of it except to say that I was a coward who never wanted anything to change between us.âÂ
Heeseung warms a wet cloth and wipes the balm away until heâs satisfied and moves on with your favorite cleanser, rubbing it between his hands until it foams.Â
âI think, deep down, Iâve always loved you more than I led on. I canât think of any moment in my life where you werenât there or times that I didnât want you around. Even when we were in elementary school and everyone kept saying we would get cooties from each other, I wanted you with me.âÂ
He lets you wash your face and applies the rest of your products on as you once taught him.Â
âIâve always had this sense of pride when it came to being your friend. Everyone always talked about how cool you were because you always knew what to say and when to say it. I love that about you, you know. You have a way of making people feel like theyâre really special. I donât know why I was so afraid of that.
âI love who you are and what you believe in. You make the world a better place for everyone around you. How you treated me was a small fraction of why I love you. I love your passions and that you arenât afraid to chase after them. I love that you stick with the same boba order even though you tell yourself youâll try something new. I love that you hate the beach but go with us every time we ask. I love when you get a little drunk because you donât fight me when I want to take care of you.â
Heeseung swallows. âBut mostly, I just really love you.â
You open your eyes for the first time. Heeseung can only stare.Â
âYou really hurt me.âÂ
He glances down. âI know. Iâm sorry.âÂ
âWhat hurt the most was knowing you werenât going to be there as my best friend, Heeseung. I could handle your rejection. I could find a way to get over you. But I could never get over losing our friendship. I never wanted you out of my life because itâs better with you in it.âÂ
âPlease donât get over me,â Heeseung croaks. His own eyes begin to swell and he forces a choked sob down his throat, aggressively wiping his eyes to rid himself of tears. He presses his forehead against yours. âI donât want you to get over me.âÂ
You donât say anything for a few moments. Heeseung swears he feels the blood rushing to his ears as he anticipates your response and heâs sure that even if what you say isnât what he wants to hear, heâs happy to wear his feelings on his sleeve for once in his life.
âI donât think I could even if I tried.âÂ
Heeseungâs heart stops beating. He doesnât kiss you even though he wants to. He doesnât take your hand and pull you into him like his heart tells him to. Instead, he whispers a quiet thanks and is surprised when he hears you laugh.Â
âI canât apologize enough. I donât want to make you feel like you have to do or say anything.âÂ
âI know,â you whisper. Heeseung's hands are dangling awkwardly by his side. He feels like pushing his forehead against yours was too much. But your hands reach for him and you give him a squeeze. Â
Heeseung throws caution out of the window and envelopes you in a hug. He feels your body melt against his and canât help but look at the way youâve folded into his chest in the bathroom mirror, with your head in his neck and his cheek on the crown of your head. Heeseung missed holding you like thisâwith your bodies intertwined as if you were two soulmates who were forced apart upon creation.Â
He stroked your back with his hand and kept the other secured around your waist. Your soft breaths touch his skin and it feels like heâs got electricity running through his veins.Â
âIâm sorry,â Heeseung whispers again. âI will keep apologizing until you know the depth of my regret.âÂ
The boy feels like heâs floating when you press a soft kiss to his exposed chest, mentally thanking Jake for forcing him to let loose and unbutton a few.Â
âYou could start by staying with me until I fall asleep,â you say. âLike old times.âÂ
He tries not to punch the air. âI can do that.âÂ
Heeseung waits in the bathroom until youâve changed into comfortable clothing. He isnât surprised when he sees you in shorts and an oversized shirt. Itâs reminiscent of what you used to wear when youâd sleep in the guest bedroom in his house or vice versa, but now that heâs acknowledged his feelings for you, he canât help but coo at how cute and sleepy you look.Â
You tuck yourself in bed with the blankets to your chin and he completely melts to the floor. You pat the spot next to him and he sits on top of the blankets.Â
âUnder the covers, silly.âÂ
âI donât want to rush it,â Heeseung says in a panic.Â
âWe arenât rushing. Weâre two best friends who got each other back.âÂ
Heeseung has never been more relieved. Though, he knows youâre a stickler for outside clothes in bed, so he makes the decision to take your key card and change.
âIâm not leaving you,â he says when he notices you rise from your spot on the bed. He holds two key cards to prove it and leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek. âIâm going to change and then Iâll be right back. I promise.âÂ
He comes back ten minutes later. It warms your heart at the sight of him and you feel the comfort in your body when he slides underneath the covers.Â
You surprise yourself when you move to lay your head on his chest with your arm around his body. Heeseung doesnât seem to mind, though, and he pulls you closer to him like youâve done it a million times before. The two of you have wanted this for too long to make it feel awkward.Â
âWhat did Jake say when you came into the room?â you ask.
âHe was half asleep until I turned the light on but he asked me if we resolved things. I told him yes and then he asked if I was staying the night with you when he saw me leaving.â
âAm I right to assume he was more excited about having the room to himself?â
Heeseung laughs. âThat you are.â
âDeep down, I think Jake knew weâd find our way. I think they all did.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â Heeseung whispers once more. You quiet him with a kiss to his cheek.Â
âI know, Hee. We can talk more tomorrow. For now, letâs sleep.â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The next morning, Heeseung wakes up before you do and frowns when your bodyâs all the way on the other side of the bed. He leans over your sleeping frame and brushes strands of hair from your face, admiring how serene you look in your sleep. For a moment, Heeseung ponders if itâs too soon to wake you up the way heâd like to, but if last night was any indication about how you felt, heâd be willing to take the chance.Â
He leans down to kiss your forehead and both of your cheeks repeatedly until your eyes flutter open. Heeseung thinks he could listen to your laugh every morning with the way you wince at the sunlight and how his lips touch your skin. Still, your gaze finds its way to Heeseungâs and you canât help but smile.Â
There was a brief moment before you fell asleep that youâd wondered if youâd been too quick to forgive him. But for as hurtful as the past year was, you canât help but acknowledge the steps he took during the trip in an attempt to undo all of the contempt you had built for him. You owe it to yourself to be happy with Heeseung.Â
âGood morning, pretty girl,â Heeseung says with his morning voice that sounds a little too good for seven in the A.M. âDid you sleep well?â
âSlept like a baby. I feel like one too.â
âThatâs because you are a baby,â Heeseung teases, kissing your cheeks and then the tip of your nose. âMy baby.âÂ
âI really want breakfast but Iâm too lazy to get up from the bed.â
âWe could always order in. Iâll pay.â
You shake your head. âIâll be too tempted to stay in bed and itâs our last full day in Paris. Letâs just get ready and have breakfast at the hotel restaurant?âÂ
The both of you are halfway done eating breakfast when the rest of your friends trickle in, joining your table and the ones next to you. It takes them a while to wake up, but itâs Sunghoon who speaks up first.Â
âIâm assuming you two talked?âÂ
âAnd made up,â you say with a tilt of your head.Â
âThatâs my girl,â Sunghoon says proudly, sipping on his coffee.Â
âIâll let that slide since weâre all friends,â Heeseung jokes. You laugh and, for the first time in a while, you donât feel guilty about it.Â
âI had the whole room to myself, too. I woke up and didnât have to fight anyone for the bathroom,â says Jake.Â
Riki nearly spits his juice out. âYou guys slept together?âÂ
âNot like that!â youâre quick to exclaim. âHe just slept over. Slept. As in, we closed our eyes and actually slept.âÂ
âBoth of us knew we needed our beauty sleep before dealing with the six of you asking us questions,â Heeseung adds. âBut for your information, we made up. We still have things to figure out, but weâre back to being friends.âÂ
âHopefully more than that,â Jungwon coughs behind his coffee. He merely smiles when Heeseung looks in his direction.
âI think you two should spend the rest of the day by yourselves,â Jay suggests. âWe can either meet up for dinner or whenever we have to check out.âÂ
âI second that,â Sunoo agrees. âYou two clearly need to talk.âÂ
âI wanted to go shopping with Y/N again,â Riki says with a frown. Jake presumably knocks his shin with Rikiâs, who clears his throat. âBut you two should totally hang out without us.âÂ
âI think we might,â Heeseung says, holding his hand out for you to take. He stands from his seat and encourages you to stand as well, leading you away from the table. âThanks for the breakfast, Jay!âÂ
âIâm choosing to be the bigger person because Y/Nâs been through enough,â Jay mutters when Heeseung is out of hearshot, making the table laugh.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
âYou know, I think the reason why I had such a hard time reaching out was because weâd never gotten into something that serious before,â Heeseung admits. The gelato in your hand isnât as good as you remember it, but it does the job to cool you down on a particularly warm afternoon.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âDo you remember when we were kids and how hard it was for me to talk to you about anything that was action movies or superheroes?âÂ
âGod, you and your Superman cape from fourth grade,â you snort. âYou wore that thing to school everyday. Your dad had to wash it every night otherwise youâd refuse to go to sleep.â Heeseung shuts his eyes at the memory.Â
âYou were the only person I felt comfortable pouring my heart out to, you know. You were always the first person I called when I needed someone to talk to, but then I was the reason why you got hurtâŚI think part of me didnât know if I was allowed to reach out to you.
âItâs a stupid excuse, I know. But when I heard you were coming back to Seoul a few weeks before you did, I couldnât help but think about how many times I couldâve texted you.â
âYeah, you couldâve.â Heeseung merely nods at your agreement. âWeâve been through a lot over the years, but I guess thereâs a first time for everything.âÂ
âI just wish I had come to this conclusion when it happened. I was so caught up in graduating and focusing on how I felt that I didnât consider how you mustâve been dealing with all of it. I donât think Iâve ever been so selfish in my life.âÂ
âI think the time you refused to let me be friends with Jake because you said you needed friends aside from me was your second most selfish moment.âÂ
Heeseung rolls his eyes. âQuit it. I was thirteen, okay?âÂ
Neither of you particularly care to do any sightseeing today. It feels nice to walk side-by-side without the company of your other friends. The juxtaposition of how you felt towards the beginning of this trip compared to how relaxed you feel surprises you a tenfold, but you suppose that comes with genuine apologies and forgiveness.Â
Youâre willing to admit Heeseung looks criminally good in black jeans and a striped button down. He wears his clothes so effortlessly yet still looks like he couldâve taken his wardrobe from a magazine. Youâve always found it a bit unfair that Heeseung always manages to look so cool without trying too hard.Â
âYouâre staring,â he mutters, looking at you from the corner of his eye as the two of you walk down a cobblestone street.Â
âIâm not,â you lie. You turn your head to avoid his gaze, but Heeseung thinks he likes seeing you this shy. Itâs new territory for him, one that he wants to explore.Â
âCan I ask you a question?âÂ
âGo for it.âÂ
âWhy did you forgive me so quickly?â Heeseung asks. âI appreciate it, I really do, but a big part of me feels like I donât deserve that just yet.âÂ
It takes you a while to answer. Why did you forgive him as fast as you did? For a week and a half, being in close quarters with Heeseung made you feel nothing but anxious and on edge, so why were you able to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him?
âIâve always held onto the idea that youâre a good person,â you begin. âIâve always admired that you intend to care for the people you love and make them feel like they have a place in your life. Youâve always made me feel safe, like I could run to you when things got too hard.Â
âWhat you did was in poor taste, sure, but making bad decisions doesnât mean youâre a bad person. I know you, Hee. I know how you get when youâre faced with a difficult choice and how long it takes for you to come around. I was justifiably hurt but I think a part of me always knew youâd fix it somehow.âÂ
âI wish I could feel deserving of that kind of forgiveness.âÂ
âYou know me. You know I wouldnât tell you that if I didnât feel like what Iâm saying is true. Iâll admit that I shocked myself with how quickly I let my guard down with youâŚbut youâre Heeseung. You've been my best friend since the first grade and youâre the boy I happen to have a really big crush on.âÂ
Heeseung bites his lips at your confession, willing himself not to be too forward as to kiss you in the middle of the street. He sees your bravery and the way youâve put your heart directly in the palm of his hand, acting out of vulnerability even though the both of you knew he hurt you once before.Â
He doesnât say anything. He doesnât need to. Instead, Heeseung grabs your hands and locks his fingers with yours, squeezing three times to tell you he loves you.
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The afternoon comes and goes with little to no plan. Heeseungâs a bit worried that he hasnât heard anything from the boys and heâs rendered shocked that youâve taken it upon yourself to let the day take you where it may instead of finding the next spot to visit.Â
As if on cue, Jay texts him with plans for the evening.Â
jjongcaprio: 20:00, PĂŠtrelle. Itâs a five minute walk from the hotel
jjongcaprio: I made reservations for you and Y/N tonight. Donât worry about me and the boys, just take her out on a romantic dateÂ
jjongcaprio: The billâs covered. The reservationâs under your name btw
heeseung: bro i cannot ask you to do thisÂ
jjongcaprio: You donât have to. You and I both know Y/N deserves to be wined and dinedÂ
jjongcaprio: Plus I saw you looking at a few restaurants when we were on the train. I managed to pull some strings for you and got a last minute reservation for tonight
heeseung: thank you jayâŚi really donât know what iâd do without you
jjongcaprio: Itâs really not a problem, bro. Promise me that youâll try to be happy with her. The guys and I are rooting for you two
âSo,â Heeseung clears his throat as he looks up from his phone, âI think you and I should go out for dinner.âÂ
âWhere are you thinking of going? I can text the others and see if theyâre done sightseeing, or whatever it is theyâre doing.â
âI mean just us two.â He stands awkwardly when youâve turned your attention to him, his feet planted on the sidewalk beneath him as if thatâll help steady his beating heart.Â
âLike a date?âÂ
âYes,â he says immediately. âLike I date. I, Heeseung, am asking you out on a date. Tonight. At eight.âÂ
âI, Y/N, would love to go on a date with you. At eight.âÂ
The twinkle in your eye and your coy nature makes him feel like a teenager again. He leads you into the hotel and walks you to your door before stepping back as you step inside.Â
âWeâve got an hour and a half before we need to leave. Iâll come by and then we can walk together. The restaurant is only a five minute walk, so you can wear those new heels I know you feel guilty buying.âÂ
âTheyâre really pretty though,â you rationalize.Â
Heeseung nods. âGorgeous, actually. Maybe youâll be as tall as me if you wear them.âÂ
âWeâll just have to see, wonât we?âÂ
Heeseung bites his bottom lip as you disappear behind the door, locking eyes with you until youâre completely out of sight. Flirting with you like this is a completely new phenomenon for him. Heâs only daydreamed about what you might say if he said something a little too suggestive or how you might act if he dedicated a wink in your direction. Heeseung had never considered that heâd be the one flustered, cheeks reddening to the point where he starts to feel shy.Â
His nerves are endless as he picks out an outfit for tonight. Heeseung sends a quick text to his parents, who had pressured him into bringing nice clothes for a fancy dinner, and spends a few minutes updating them on the events of the past few days. His mother is pleased, to put it lightly, and sends a handful of emoticons to display her happiness. His father tells him words of encouragement before making Heeseung promise to bring you for dinner as his girlfriend, not just his best friend.Â
With the last touch of his cologne, Heeseung looks at himself in the mirror and tries not to think too hard about how he looks. Youâre Y/N, his best friend since he can remember, and youâve seen him with snot dripping from his nose.Â
âI look fine,â he says to himself in the mirror. âY/N will like the look because your mom picked it out and we know those two agree on everything. Absolutely nothing to worry about.âÂ
Heeseungâs only regret is he doesnât have a bouquet of flowers to present you with as he makes his way to your hotel room. He wipes his palms on his trousers and takes a deep breath before knocking on your door.Â
When it opens, heâs met with the sight of you in a short black dress that hugs your hips to accentuate your body. The dress itself is an elegant, spaghetti strap number with a flattering neckline paired with jewelry that makes your skin appear to be glowing. Your heels match well with the dress youâve chosen, so much so that Heeseungâs jaw drops when his eyes rake over your body.Â
âWow,â he mutters. âJustâŚwow.âÂ
âIâm not used to you being speechless,â you say mildly, closing the door behind you.Â
âYou look gorgeous,â he sputters. âI shouldnât be seen with you tonight.âÂ
âYouâre dramatic, Hee.â You give him a once over and Heeseung thinks he wouldnât mind you checking him out as you please. âYou look handsome as ever.â
He beams at the compliment and holds his arm out for you.Â
âShall we?â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
Heeseung knows the type of person you are and what you value, yet he still renders himself shocked when you allow him to take control of the evening. He knows you donât need to have the expensive consequences that come with a first date or to be sipping the most luxurious wine to be happy, but Heeseung canât help but feel like you deserve to feel as elegant as you look every once in a while.Â
The host leads the two of you to a table with the most gorgeous view of the Parisian scenery. The twinkling stars paired with the dimly lit restaurant adds a romantic touch to the evening. Heeseung mentally thanks Jay for preparing wine recommendations so neither of you have to think too much about it.Â
For a moment, heâs worried that heâs reached too far out of his depth. The fanciest thing Heeseung has ever done with you is eat ramen after prom in your best outfits because you both came to the conclusion that prom should be spent with someone you actually like. Itâs funny in hindsight when he thinks about it now.Â
You look so beautiful like this, allowing yourself to be taken care of by him. Talking to you over the table feels like youâre back in Korea before all that transpired. The food is impeccable and Heeseung thanks his lucky stars that he and Jay got it right. You sing praises left and right.Â
Dinner ends much quicker than heâd like as the two of you finish dessert. The waiter tells him the bill has been taken care of and Heeseung sits in his seat awkwardly as you look out the window to see the view from outside. But he hears the live band in the background and sees a few older couples slow dancing from where he sits and makes up his mind.Â
âDo you want to dance?âÂ
You pull your attention to him. For a moment, he thinks heâs asked the most absurd question known to man when he recalls all the times you refused to make a home on the dance floor until youâve gotten at least four drinks in your system.Â
You surprise him.Â
âIâd love to, Hee.âÂ
The room disappears when he leads you to the dance floor. He mimics the other dancers and takes the lead, swaying your bodies back and forth to the melody of the music. You smell of vanilla and cinnamon, a scent so distinctly you that it makes him grin like a man in love.Â
âThank you for tonight,â you say against his neck. âI wonât lie when I say I feel like a princess.â
âThatâs because you are a princess,â Heeseung says, kissing the top of your head. âYou deserve to be treated like one.â
âI canât believe you pulled this off so quickly. Donât restaurants like these require reservations?â
He chuckles nervously. âAbout thatâŚJay helped me with the details. I was looking up restaurants to take you to if I got the chance before our trip ended. I guess he saw the list and chose the most romantic one out of the bunch.â
âI owe Jay a thank you.â
âWe both do.âÂ
âI feel lucky to have people in my life who care about me this much,â you say. âIâm so happy youâre back in my life.âÂ
âIâm happy to be in it.â Heeseung squeezes your waist. âDeep down, itâs always been you that Iâve loved. Thereâs not a single person who makes me feel the way you do.â
âYeah?âÂ
You feel him nod. âIâll say it until you believe me. Iâll even yell it in this restaurant right now.âÂ
âPlease donât,â you laugh. âI believe you.âÂ
The sound of the melody overtakes the conversation. You feel Heeseungâs steady heartbeat as he expertly moves your bodies together on the dance floor. When you close your eyes, you think of this moment and how badly you want to commit it to memory, no longer in anguish over the tribulations of the past year. It feels nice to let go of your worries, even better that you have Heeseung back.Â
âI really want to kiss you,â he murmurs under his breath. You pull your head back.
âThen you should kiss me.âÂ
Heeseung wastes no time and pulls you into him, one arm around your waist and the other behind your neck. His mouth finds yours when he decides he loves the taste of red wine on your lips. It feels poetic to be kissing you for the first time as youâre both dressed to the nines in the middle of Paris. To him, kissing you feels like a breath of fresh air and the start of something new. For you, kissing him feels like coming home.Â
When he pulls back, you search for his eyes.Â
âTake me back to the hotel,â you whisper.Â
Heeseung feels his heart drop.Â
âIâm sorry. We can go back now.â
You grip the collar of his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt when he moves. Itâs only then that Heeseung sees the want in your eyes and the pure lust that clouds your pupils.Â
âTake me back to the hotel.â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
By the time your elevator reaches your floor, Heeseungâs dress shirt is completely unbuttoned with his toned chest exposed. Youâre barely able to detach yourself from his mouth when he pushes you out of the contraption. Your hand reaches for his as you pull him towards your room, digging through your purse when you feel Heeseungâs lips on the back of your neck.Â
âYou look sexy in my jacket,â he mumbles, pressing wet kisses to your skin.Â
âL-Let me find the key.âÂ
âSo sexy.â His hands slide up the side of your body until he grips your waist.Â
When the door opens, you pull Heeseung inside with you and lock it shut before pushing his dress shirt off of his body, exposing his muscular build and broad shoulders. You arenât shy about hiding your lust, gazing all over his chest and abdomen as you feel your core drip with arousal.Â
âI like it when you look at me like that,â Heeseung says. He reaches for your hand and places it on his chest. You take the liberty to glide your nails down his abdomen, feeling the way he tenses underneath your touch.Â
âIâm really wet,â you say as you eye the tent that has grown in Heeseungâs pants.Â
âAre you?â he asks. âYou wonât mind if I check?âÂ
You shake your head and Heeseung takes that as a green light, his hands finding the soft fabric of your dress before pushing his hand underneath it. He whimpers when his fingers come in contact with your wet lips. Itâs adorable, the way you push yourself against him to chase his lips while he fingers smear your wetness across the fabric of your panties.Â
âBed,â you mumble against his lips.Â
He follows where you pull him, loving the way you take control when you push him onto the mattress. Heeseung distracts himself to catch his breath from the overwhelming sense of pleasure to realize that youâve started to undo his belt buckle and take his hard cock out of his pants.Â
âYou donât have toââ
âI want your cock in my mouth,â you plead, looking him in the eye. âPlease let me.âÂ
You sit politely on your knees as you unbuckle Heeseungâs pants. His chest rises and falls in anticipation and he looks down at you to see that your mouth is watering at the sight of him.Â
Heâs already fully hard; he has been since you started unbuttoning his shirt in the elevator. You spit directly onto the tip of his cock and he bites his lip at the sudden contact before watching as you swipe your hand up and down himself.Â
Heeseung doesnât want to think about how you learned to do what youâre doing to him. He doesnât want to think about the boys youâve kissed or the people who got to see you like this before. What he does know, however, is heâs the only person from here on out who will see you on your knees if he can help it.Â
Your mouth envelopes the head and Heeseung emits a short grunt. The tension between you two begins to slowly dissipate as you fit more of his cock inside of your mouth. Your tongue expertly traces every ridge and vein as you push your throat down onto him, causing Heeseung to put his palms on the mattress and throw his head back.Â
You hum around him when he moans. Heâs itching to put his hand behind your head but refuses the idea, letting you set your own pace. Heeseung watches as you switch your angle, sitting up to rest on your knees to push your head further down on him. He witnessed as you spread your legs, a choked moan coming from his throat in conjunction with a particular gag from your mouth.Â
Thereâs spit everywhere. Itâs trailing down your lips and connecting to his cock when you pull yourself from his body. Itâs seeping to his pants and heâs about to speak up when your motion attaches itself to his sensitive balls, licking at its warmth while your hand strokes him from atop.Â
âThatâs it. Fuuuuck.â
He bucks his hips once and curses. Heeseung feels your mouth envelop one of his balls, the pressure of your mouth around it making him feel a kind of euphoria he didnât know was possible. Your mouth moves to the other to give it the same treatment before retreating back to his cock. This time, your hand massages him from below as you suck on him.Â
When you look up at him and wink, he decides enough is enough.Â
âBaby,â Heeseung pants, attempting to push your head off of him. He thinks itâs so sexy that youâre turned on while giving him a blowjob. âBaby, please stop. I donât wanna come yet.âÂ
You oblige and take your mouth off of him with a popping sound. You sit back and Heeseung stares at you through drooping eyelids in pure shock and amazement at how youâve managed to pull him to a near orgasm as quickly as you did.
âCome here,â he beckons with his fingers.
He attaches his mouth to yours and pushes his tongue inside of your mouth, exploring the warm, wet walls you have to offer. Heeseung decides that he loves the feeling of your tongue against his and lets you suck on the muscle.Â
You take your dress off to reveal sheer panties with nothing else on. Heeseungâs jaw drops at your beauty, but he also cannot believe how sexy his best friendâs body is. To him, you were sculpted from the hands of Aphrodite herself with great love and care. And itâs all for him.
âYou are so fucking sexy,â he murmurs, hovering over your body to press kisses to the valley of your chest. You let his hands roam and spread your legs to make room for him.Â
Heeseungâs head travels back to your chest and you watch as he envelops your right nipple in his mouth. âYour tits are just perfect.âÂ
He makes a show out of it, hands cupping your breasts to massage them as his mouth works on you. He pushes your tits together and shoves his face between them, inhaling your scent while his tongue gathers whatever taste your body gives him. Heeseung moves to your left nipple and uses his tongue to flick the hardened bud over and over again until youâre arching your chest into his mouth.Â
He grinds himself into your core with his pants still loose around his legs. It brings a moan out of your throat and he swallows it whole with his lips pressed firmly against yours. The friction feels delicious with the fabric of your panties against the hardness of Heeseungâs cock. He grinds against you with the help of your hips rolling into his, your natural wetness coating his cock in your essence.Â
Heeseung moves his head to kiss your jawline, moving his mouth all over the expanse of your neck until he kisses right below your earlobe. You let out a particularly loud moan when he does, and Heeseung curses.
âShit. Yeah baby, make those sounds for me. Let me hear your pretty moans.âÂ
His mouth attacks the area again and you arenât shy about it. Your hands tangle in his hair as he kisses your neck and grinds his cock against the wet panties, which have by now molded to the shape of your pussy.Â
Heeseung groans at the feeling of a particularly wet gush and lifts his hips enough to elicit a whimper out of your mouth. He experimentally lifts his hips again to align himself with you as he did before. The pressure must feel so good because your mouth hangs open with your eyes boring into his.Â
âThatâs it,â he encourages. âDoes my baby feel good?â You can only nod and he doesnât blame you. âThatâs a good baby. Fuck, youâre so wet, itâs driving me crazy.âÂ
Heeseung feels your legs wrap around him and the way your heel pushes his lower back into your core. He takes the hint and quickens his pace, wanting nothing more than to see you come for him.
âYou gotta come for me now, pretty girl,â he coaxed. âYou deserve to come. Wonât you do that for me?âÂ
Heeseung is sure that heâs never seen or heard anything more erotic compared to the vision of watching you come. Your mouth opens with breathy moans as you focus on your pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut as if youâre trying to savor the moment in your mind.
âAtta girl,â Heeseung praises when your hips grind into his. He keeps himself still and lets your body take over.Â
You eventually come down and realize Heeseung has yet to come, but thatâs the last thing on his mind. He sinks his body down to come face-to-face with your crotch and licks the come off of the soiled fabric of your panties. The sheerness gives him a sneak peek at your pussy, and he groans when he licks a slow, fat strip up your slit.
âYou taste so fucking delicious, baby.â He licks at you again, faster this time. âTastes like milk and honey.âÂ
Heeseung kisses your wet panties over and over again, his soft lips providing jolts of pleasure. His hands roam around the soft flesh of your thighs and squeezes them as if he remembers youâre all his to touch. The feeling is one you want to commit to memory, but it seems like Heeseung knows your mind is working overtime because he reaches his hand to find yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze.Â
You let his hand go when he pulls it from you to slide the useless barrier down your legs and to undo the straps of your heels. He takes great care to kiss your skin tenderly, starting by your ankle and making his way down just shy of where you need him the most. Heeseung repeats the process on the other leg until he comes face to face with your glistening core, licking his lips as if he doesnât know where to start.Â
âSuch a pretty pussy,â he says before placing a soft kiss to your clit.
He repeats the motion, kissing your folds like theyâre delicate antiquities that need to be handled with the utmost care. His lips become covered with your essence; he feels you squirm underneath him and uses the expanse of his palms to gently pry your legs open for him, soothing the soft skin of your inner thighs.Â
Heeseung tentatively licks your slit and decides he loves the sound of your moans when he has his mouth on you. He does it again, dragging his tongue to feel every ridge and crevice that heâs yet to explore. His mouth feels like a warm comfort with the slow pace he sets, licking you as if heâs trying to tell you how much he loves you without saying it.Â
âYou taste divine.âÂ
You look down below to see his hair covering his eyes and brush it away with your hands. Heeseung looks right into your soul and you feel your heart clench, causing you to roll your hips into his face. He merely buries his nose close to you until he bumps your clit with the tip, pushing his wet muscle into you deeper.Â
When your moans get lighter and your breathy sounds are the only audible thing in the room aside from his own moans. You open your eyes to see Heeseung humping the mattress below you. The sight is so erotic that you canât help but let out a loud whine at the thought of Heeseung pleasuring himself while pleasuring you.Â
He brings his fingers to your pussy and sways his fingers back and forth until he foregoes his slow pace, favoring a faster one. He abuses your swollen clit while you can only lay there and watch him play with you. Heeseung expertly inserts his middle finger into your seeping hole and bites his lip to concentrate on getting you to come again.Â
âI need it,â he confesses, bringing his mouth to lick you as he adds another finger. âI need you to come for me again, baby. Can you do that for me?â
âYes, Hee,â you pant. âI wanna come so badly.â
âYou can do it, baby. Youâve been such a good girl tonight, giving me the best head and letting me make you come. I think you deserve to feel good.âÂ
âI do,â you nod rapidly. âFuck, I think Iâm coming.â
âThatâs right,â he coos, hammering his digits into you while his tongue laps up the juices leaking from your pussy. âSo good. You taste so fucking good. Give it to me.âÂ
He doesn't relent until heâs satisfied. Heeseung cleans the come from your lips as best he can while sneaking his hand to his cock, pumping himself as he tastes your orgasm on his tongue.Â
âYouâve crazy,â you mutter as you settle from your high, loving the feeling of Heeseungâs mouth tenderly licking you clean.Â
âFor you.â He pulls his face away and wipes the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to your clit.Â
When he rises to take his pants and boxers off, he sees you with your arm covering your face.Â
âAre you doing okay?âÂ
âPerfect, actually,â you sigh. You remove your arm to see him with his cock in his hands and motion him to come towards the edge of the bed as you crawl on your knees before sitting upright to pull him into a searing kiss.Â
âThat might be the hottest thing Iâve ever seen you do,â Heeseung says against your mouth. âItâs better than porn, if Iâm being honest.âÂ
You grab his cock and stroke him. âIâll consider letting you take a video of me when we get back home if you fuck me right now.âÂ
âTurn around,â he says after an open-mouthed kiss.
You follow his instructions and he groans to himself as you present your perfect pussy to him again. Heeseung sinks to his knees and smacks your ass before shoving his tongue into your hole. He spreads your asscheeks apart and digs his nose against you, licking up the wetness and remnants of your orgasm like itâs his last meal. His tongue licks up your body until he finds your wrinkled muscle and presses a soft kiss to your tightest hole.Â
The surprise comes to him when you moan softly. Your body doesnât jerk away. Rather, you spread your legs further for him and Heeseung moans against your pussy before bringing his tongue to lick over the muscle again.Â
âFeels good, doesnât it?â he asks, dipping his tongue back in.
âBetter than I imagined.âÂ
âYou imagined my tongue in your ass, baby?âÂ
You nod. âIâve always wanted to know what that feels like.âÂ
Heeseung doesnât give you a verbal answer. Instead, he spits into your hole and watches it dribble down to your pussy, licking his way from your incredibly wet folds to your hole once again. He licks over the expanse with the surface of his tongue one, twice, three times before youâre whining for his cock. He wastes no time tearing open the condom and hurriedly places it on himself.Â
The first stretch of his cock in your pussy makes him see Heaven. The sharp gasp that comes from your mouth is music to his ears and heâs careful to sink himself into you slowly, inch by inch until youâre telling him he can go further.Â
His cock impales you at such a perfect angle that it has you falling to your elbows, your back arched so perfectly that heâs sure youâd be the most popular pornstar if you really wanted to be. He keeps half of his cock in you to allow you to adjust, but he underestimates just how cock hungry you are because you back yourself until heâs filling you to the brim.
âBabyâs such a slut, isnât she?â Heeseung wonders out loud. He grins when you nod. âI love you like that. So dirty for me.âÂ
âOnly for you,â you say, cheek pressed to the mattress when Heeseung thrusts in you.Â
The sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. It doesnât take long for your wet juices to glisten over the back of your thighs and onto Heeseungâs. His hands find purchase on your hips as he pulls your body close to him, loving the way your choked moans become muffled by the mattress below.Â
âSo. Fucking. Tight,â he moans with detailed thrusts. âSo. Fucking. Wet.âÂ
He climbs on the bed and plants his feet on the blankets, holding your body in place as he pounds into you from above. The angle has you seeing stars and rips moan after moan from you.Â
Heeseung grins wickedly. âSuch a fuckable body. So perfect.âÂ
His degradation paired with praise ignites a fire inside of you. You can only moan louder to let Heeseung know exactly how heâs making you feel and you canât help but think you deserved to be fucked exactly the way Heeseung is fucking you.
The pleasure feels like an explosion of a thousand suns. Your body is warm from the hours youâve spent in the hotel room and your neighbors getting a good nightâs sleep is the least of your concerns. Heeseungâs cock drills into you from above like heâs a sex god and it nearly brings you to tears.Â
He turns you over carefully until youâre laying flat on your back with your head propped against the pillows. He steals one from you and puts it underneath the small of your back to create leverage before lining up his cock with your entrance and pushing himself in again.
Heeseung thrusts like heâs got to prove just how in love with you he is. Your wanton moans fill the room with his low grunts as his cock continually hits the one spot that makes you see stars, over and over again.
But you know he could do more to make you feel better. He must notice you in deep thought because he slows his hips.Â
âWhat is it, baby?â Heeseung asks when he notices your eyebrows knit together. âIs this okay? Do you need me to stop so we can take a break?â
âTake it off,â you whisper. His hips have faltered and his pace stutters at your words.
âTake what off?â
âThe condom.â Heeseung nearly chokes. âTake the condom off.âÂ
âBabyââ
âI just wanna feel you.âÂ
Heeseung curses and his hips automatically drill into yours at the request out of pure shock. He canât lie to himself. Heâs thought about it multiple times since you left for Europe and as heâs come to term with his feelings for you. The cute fantasies about taking you on dates to dinner or drive in theaters transform into daydreams about dirty affairs in his bedroom with his seed leaking out of your perfect hole.Â
Still, he doesnât believe it.
âPlease, Hee,â you plead, arching your chest towards him. âLet me feel you. Donât you want to come inside me?â
âFuck,â he falters, his forehead on yours. âYou canât just say thatâŚI canât be risky with you.âÂ
âYes you can.â He watches you bite your lip and feels your hands push him off of you. Heeseung doesnât put up a fight when he slips out of your warm hole and feels your hands grip his cock, desperately trying to tug the condom off of him.Â
Heeseung sees the pathetic rubber in your hands when you bring it up for him to see. Itâs glistening and his mouth drools at the sight, lips parting enough as if he stares at it in disbelief. He groans lowly in your ear as he peppers a few wet kisses to your neck.Â
You spread your legs wider in the air and grip his cock in your head, pumping him a few times before letting his bare tip rest against your hole. His sharp intake is enough to make you bite your lip.Â
âPussyâs so wet,â he says against your neck, pushing an inch inside of you. âGod, I could come like this.â
âYou can.âÂ
âNo, baby. Gonna fuck you the way you deserve before I come.â
With that sentiment, Heeseung pushes himself inside of you until heâs fully sheathed within your walls. He relishes the way you gasp at the sudden movement and he uses this angle to his advantage, positioning his ear next to your mouth to hear your delicious sounds.Â
He moves his hips at such a pace that it makes you feel like your bodyâs bouncing on top of the soft mattress below you. Heeseung presses his chest against yours to kiss you like his life depends on it, tongue invading the privacy of your mouth but you couldnât care less where his mouth goes. He can feel your nipples on his skin and groans into your mouth when you clench at a particularly hard thrust.Â
âS-So good,â you stutter against his mouth with a breathy moan. Heeseung feels your arm around his shoulders, scratching at his back. âFuck, fuck!â
âMhm,â he coaxed. âSuch a good baby. You look so pretty underneath me.âÂ
With a new sense of purpose, Heeseung lifts himself to push himself into you at a deeper angle. He forces his hips into you harder, your hands coming to your chest to cup your tits to give you something to hold in the meantime.
âThatâs right, beautiful. Squeeze your tits for me.âÂ
You do, pinching and twisting your nipples until you hear Heeseung moan above you. It sounds nearly animalistic, the way his throat emits a groan that sounds so primal. He sees the dirty smile you paint your mouth with and leans his head down to press a kiss to your forehead before his hand comes to your cheeks, squeezing them between my fingers.
âYou like it when I fuck you like this?â Heeseung asks, hips rolling against your own pelvis. When you nod, he gives you a nasty smile of his own and gives you a few harsh thrusts for good measure before pulling himself off of your chest with his cock still inside of you.Â
Heeseung sits on his knees and pulls out just far enough where his hot tip remains buried inside of you, relishing in the panty breaths you emit as he watches your chest rise and fall. You look so beautiful to him with your hair messed up against the pillow beneath you and with a few faint hickeys on your chest and neck. Heeseung thinks that all of his wildest dreams could never compare to how gorgeous you look when youâre positioned directly where he wants you.Â
You donât complain when he pulls out to rest his cock on your wet, bare pussy. You wince at the loss and let him slide himself up and down, biting your lip when he grazes your swollen clit over and over again.Â
The man above you lifts your right leg so that he can grip you tighter. You relinquish any control left in your body as Heeseung curses and kisses the side of your ankle. He dips the head of his cock inside and thrusts shallowly as if to tease, but you know heâs exploring all the way his cock looks like against your own body.Â
It feels euphoric. The whole affair is dirty, but itâs the kind of dirty that makes you want to do it again. Itâs the kind of dirty that makes this night an event youâll want to remember for the rest of your night because Heeseung had poured his entire heart and soul for you to take.Â
For Heeseung, this pleasure is less about knowing you have him permission to put himself inside you. Youâve always been so sure of yourself and your body; itâs something Heeseung has always admired about you as a person. Growing up with your insecurities of relationships and dating mightâve made you feel like a late bloomer; to Heeseung, your tendency to keep your head straight has always been a testament to how knowledgeable you are about yourself and about others. You save yourself for people who are worthy of you, and god, does he want to be worthy of you.
âI love you,â Heeseung whispers from above you. His eyes are closed and he pays no mind to the feeling your pussy gives him. Flashes of your memories stitch together like a film reel with your laughter as the soundtrack. He doesnât think he wants to hear anything else for the rest of his life.Â
Just for good measure, he whispers it again. âI love you so much.âÂ
âAnd I love you.â
Heeseung opens his eyes to see your tender ones, cheeks flushed from the sudden compliment. He always liked that he knew how to get you to blush when no one else couldnât. This time, a sense of pride blooms in his chest.Â
âIâll never let you down,â he confesses. âAnd if I do, Iâll make it up to you. I promise.âÂ
âI know, baby.â Heeseungâs hand cups your cheek and caresses it. âI trust you.âÂ
Thatâs enough for him to release your leg from his grip and pound himself into you like his life depends on bringing you to peak happiness.Â
Heeseungâs palms are planted firmly on either side of your body as his hips roll gracefully against yours, the hot, wet mess between the two of you splashing on both of your thighs. He watches your eyes close shut and as your back arches to relieve some of the pressure, feeling somewhat proud of himself when he watches as your hands grab at the sheets for stability.Â
Thereâs nothing that compares to watching you orgasm. Your eyebrows knit as if youâre concentrating while your mouth stands slightly ajar at the euphoric feeling of that single knot thatâs threatening to come undone until it does. All of the girls heâs deluded into thinking he liked could never compare to the looks and sounds youâre making.Â
âThatâs it,â he coaxes softly. âCream my cock, baby. Thatâs a good girl.âÂ
Heeseung feels you push and clench around him, gushing until thereâs nowhere left for your come to go. He peeks down at where the two of you meet and groans when he sees his cock becoming painted in a sheer layer of white. It edges him on and the moment he locks his eyes with yours, his hips begin to stutter and he spills all he has to offer inside of you.Â
He comes with short breaths as if he canât believe youâve allowed him to do so. Your hips move up and down as if to milk him for all heâs worth while Heeseungâs trying his best to balance his body on top of yours, grateful that some of his gym workouts prevent him from completely collapsing on top of you to.
His come seeps from your bodies and he pulls out, a few droplets splattering on your pussy lips. He nudges the tip against it, smearing his paint across your canvas and marveling at the sight.Â
âMy good girl,â he murmurs, eyes locked in at his handy work.
âIâve never let anyone come inside of me,â you say with a fond expression. Your arm comes to brush Heeseungâs hair from his face before cradling his cheek when he looks at you in surprise.Â
âReally?âÂ
You nod, biting your cheek. âWell, I always knew you were it for me. I didnât want anyone else tainting whatâs yours.âÂ
âMine?â he asks, catching his breath. âYou mean it? Youâre mine.â
âIâm yours, Hee.âÂ
âAll mine,â he mutters to himself in disbelief.Â
You still feel his cock working itself against you. Heâs still hard, a wonder after your hours locked away in your hotel room. It makes you laugh.
âNo one has ever compared to you either,â Heeseung says. He doesnât take his eyes off of you as he continues toying with your pussy. âEven when I fooled myself into thinking I didnât like you.â
You laugh. âWell thatâs good to hear. I realized all the guys I went after while I was abroad either looked like you or reminded me of you.âÂ
âI can confidently and stupidly say the same.âÂ
Your laughs echo through the room. Heeseung pulls your body upright, not caring that your mixed come is leaking on his cock and his bare lap. He kisses you with tender care, lips moving at a slow pace while his hands roam over the expanse of your back while your hands are on his broad shoulders. Heeseung could live like this everyday if youâd let him.Â
You smile midway through when you feel his fully hardened cock against you. Heeseung apologizes quietly against your lips but feels you shake your head, pulling back to push him against the headboard until heâs comfortably seated.Â
He looks at your pussy when you hover above him, the white cream still sticking to you as you grip his cock. Heeseung canât believe his eyes when he understands what youâre about to do. Before he can even think, you align yourself with his cock and sink until youâre stuffed with him.
âShit,â he curses through his teeth.Â
âWhat good is coming inside of me if you donât do it again and again, Hee?âÂ
âThat might be the hottest thing youâve ever said to me.âÂ
âOh, yeah?â
You donât move just yet, opting to press small kisses to Heeseungâs face. You kiss his forehead, both temples, his nose, both eyelids, and the apples of his cheeks before placing a kiss to his lips.Â
âBefore we leave, I want you to fuck me against that window,â you say, turning your head to the window that glimpses the city below.Â
âBut people can see,â is Heeseungâs first comment.
âSo?âÂ
He chokes and when you feel his cock twitch inside of you, you canât help but laugh at him.
âIâve heard talk about your escapades, Lee. Why so shy with me?âÂ
He smacks your asscheek. âNaughty girl. Didnât know you were nasty like that.â Heeseung gives you that kind of teasing smile that has you folding for him all over again. âAlright then, humor me. What else do you want to do before we leave?âÂ
âIâd love to give you a blowjob while we shower, too.âÂ
âThat can certainly be arranged. Anything else?âÂ
You look around the room. âI kind of want to see you eat me out while I sit on the desk chair. Makes me think youâre some kind of secretary whoâs desperate for my pussy.â
âI am desperate for your pussy,â Heeseung reminds you. âWhat if Iâm the stone cold CEO and youâre the cute secretary whose ass I dream about?âÂ
You seat his chest. âThis is my fantasy. You can have yours when we get home.âÂ
Heeseung raises his eyebrow. âMm, you sure?â
âPositively,â you nod. Heeseungâs hands travel from your ass to your hips and guides you up and down his cock, letting you set the pace after the brutal first round from a few minutes prior.Â
âGonna fuck you in and on my car, since you like being watched so much,â Heeseung teases. His words seem to make your pussy clench and hips move faster. He forgoes any shyness when speaking about his fantasies and spills his every thought.
âI always thought you looked so cute in your old school uniform. Iâve always wanted to take you in that skirt they gave you.â
âIâll buy one of those sexy schoolgirl costumes and surprise you for your birthday,â you say, locking your eyes with him. âOh, professor! Is there anything I can do to raise my grade?â
Heeseung laughs at your antics, but the images of you in the costume aforementioned makes his grip on your body tighter.Â
âI selfishly want to watch you suck me off while I play with the guys.â He says it in a way that makes him avert his gaze and you can see a faint blush on his face. âI-I saw this video on Twitter. It looks hot.â
âI can do that for you.â You kiss both of his burning cheeks.
âBut mostly, I just want you to sit on my face. Mad at me? Sit on my face. Sad? Sit on my face. Happy to see me? Sit on my face.âÂ
âSimp,â you grunt, thighs burning from pushing yourself on and off of Heeseungâs cock.Â
âAnd proud.â He smacks both ass cheeks again. âNow what do you say, baby? If you ride me until you come, you can blow me in the bathroom before I fuck you in front of the entirety of Paris. Can you do that for me?â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
The next morning, you meet Heeseung and the rest of the guys in the lobby while Jay checks out on behalf of all of you. Jakeâs the first to see you coming.Â
âYouâre glowing and I donât know if I like that.â He raises his eyebrow at Heeseung, who has pulled you into him by your waist.Â
âAt least some of us are getting laid,â you retort. âI donât recall seeing anyone do the walk of shame even though you had the room to yourself.âÂ
Riki and Sunoo donât try to contain their laughter as Jakeâs cheeks turn a shade of pink. He rolls his eyes when you look at him, but shakes his head and punches your arm with your first.Â
âNah, Iâm really glad you two got that out of your system and worked it out.â
âYou guys had major sexual tension,â Sunoo comments.Â
âThank God Y/Nâs room was at the end of the hall,â says Sunghoon. âI donât know how their neighbors felt but I can sleep peacefully knowing I didnât have to hear all of that.âÂ
âOkay, enough,â Heeseung laughs. âWe get it, we had a lot of sexual tension and now weâre fine.â
âSo you guys are boyfriend-girlfriend?â Jungwon asks.Â
âY/N is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend.âÂ
âI will key his car if he hurts you again,â Riki tells you, looking at Heeseung after heâs finished speaking. You detach yourself from his waist and bring your arms around Riki to give him a squeeze.
âThanks, Riki.â
âOkay, we should call the cabs right now so we can get to the airport early,â Jay says from behind you.Â
âJay is such a dad,â Jungwon whispers.Â
He pays no mind to Jungwonâs words, instead focusing on the way Heeseung pulls you into his chest. It warms his heart in ways he canât explain.
âCongratulations, you two. Letâs go home.â
*â§ď˝Ľďžâââââââââââ *â§ď˝Ľďž
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y(ours) â P1HARMONY!maknae line
a continuation of what itâs like dating the younger oneâs and their familiarity with your personal belongings. ft. non-idol!p1h maknae line x gn!reader
a/n: this is my attempt at easing back into writing, apologize if itâs super rough :(
intak
your vinyl record.
it was gifted to you on christmas about two years ago. youâve always dwelled on wanting one of your own, but never had the balls to go out of your way to purchase one because they could get pretty pricey. a lot of your extensive research and effort you spent scouring the internet to find the perfect vinyl record youâd like pointed to signs of something completely out of your budget. well, not completely, but unrealistically obtainable with the numbers youâve been receiving paycheck-to-paycheck from your job.
so, each time that the holidays were around the corner, and whenever your mother would ask for your christmas wishlist, youâd throw in several other items youâd like but never included the idea of wanting a vinyl record. that secret desire of yours was something you kept to yourself, something you never brought up in conversation, nor was it something youâd expect to receive unless it was coming out of your pockets.
lo and behold, on the morning of a wintery cold december 25, when you were gathered around the christmas tree with your siblings and parents to open your presents, there sat a box with a fragile sticker stuck to the wrapping.
to: y/n :)
from: mom and dad
since then your prized possession has followed you to college and your off-campus apartment whom you share with your three other close friends.
intak, especially, took a liking to your music player and never misses an opportunity to use it. whenever he visits your place (which is almost every day) he makes it his unrelenting mission to flip through your vinyls and place his pick of the day on to the turntable. his personal favorite is cigarettes after sex, a band you actually introduced him to.
while you donât mind sharing things, especially with your partner, youâre pretty sure intak has used your vinyl record more often than you have. ultimately, you donât mind. itâs rather endearing knowing that whatâs yours also belongs to him.
shota
your nintendo switch.
ây/n can i play super smash bros?â
shota doesnât even need to ask for your approval. in fact, he already knows your answer will always allude to a âyes,â but he does it anyway despite the electronic device already in his possession.
âof course,â you would say.
naturally you grew up owning multiple generations of nintendo dsâs. when nintendo came out with a new updated version youâd go to the game store to trade it in for store credit just to get the latest release. this routine continued up until middle school when your gaming hobby no longer prevailed itself in your interests.
as months passed and 2017 eventually rolled by, the internet buzzed with life after nintendoâs announcement about the upcoming hybrid console came to light. rest assured that you were one of millions who preordered the device and waited impatiently for itâs hard launch date to release in store.
but again, school started to pick up and extra curriculaâs were time consuming, that playing video games became less and lesser of an option for you to indulge in.
leave it to shota to pick up your slack. because if itâs not super smash bros that heâs try-harding at, itâs either the suika game, animal crossing (if he really feels like it), or pokemon. an odd rotation but who were you to judge.
âwHat!â he yelps from the couch. âhow did he dodge that!â
you giggle at his typical gamer-behavior, closely reminded of yourself.
jongseob
your digicam.
the sony cyber-shot camera has been by your side since you were in the 5th grade.
it was a hand-me-down from your fatherâs box of electronic gadgets he owned back in the day; a lot of which were collecting dust in the garage for not being used in so long.
while tossing things away to relieve the clutter and deciding what to keep, you remember discovering the digicam at the bottom of the pile after laborious digging. your father briefly taught you how to turn it on and off, what button to press to take a picture, how to record a video, and the different settings you could play around with.
your digicam has followed you around the world to different countries for family trips, witnessed you graduate from high school, contained a lot of embarrassing photos of you and your friends, watched you grow since elementary to your first day of college, and captured numerous flicks featuring new faces.
when you started dating jongseob, your photo gallery has been nothing but candid pictures of you and him (mainly of you).
your boyfriend is constantly bringing it along with him to events or outings, because, in his defense, he just wants to create some memories for you both to look back on someday. sometimes he goes out of his way to point and direct you on how to pose.
once, over dinner, you asked jongseob if heâd rather upgrade to something better and not outdated, like a canon or even a proper film camera. however, he is not one to budge and refuses to give up the obsolete digicam he unintentionally took ownership of.
âitâs special,â he pouted. âand sentimental, too.â
you smiled, âi guess. i just canât help but wonder if you prefer a greater upgrade.â
âtrust me, this has everything i need. now show me that pretty smile of yours.â
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๨ŕ§â Ë・â Mine All Mine !
â Yoon Keeho + Reader
Contains â Smut, Angst, Slight possessiveness
Synopsis â Your ex-boyfriend Keeho canât help but invite you to P1Harmonyâs show when heâs in a city nearby in hopes that heâll get to see you again, even if itâs just for the night- for his own selfishness or in a frail attempt to satiate his insurmountable pining for you, he isnât sure.
Missing someone to this extent wasnât anything new to Keeho, though it isnât as debilitating compared to what heâs experienced at the unfolding of his career those hardships didnât mitigate the impact of his current struggles.
Despite this almost mourning sentiment in the wake of his departure from his previous life and the absence of his family, friends, home, the familiarity of his childhood- the simplicity to it, heâs fortunately been able to make good out of what he has now whilst bearing in mind that this doesnât happen so often within the industry.
His members filled in the dull silence with their petulant bickering and overwhelmingly loud noise that was left by his siblings, he had people taking care of him, maybe not quite the way his parents did, but it was close enough to take that edge off, and he wants to be content, he really does, but the one naggingly empty space he couldnât seem to quite fill in was yours.
He's tried more times than he can remember by seeking out girls, unwilling to acknowledge the painfully obvious similarities in the length or colour of stray hairs left behind in his cold mess of a bed after rolling his hips at the same pace and heft that's been hammered into his head over the years spent with you, because that's what always had you trembling under him, sometimes in their inflections he could still hear your soft gasps seeping through their lips, pleading for him to keep going, it was nauseating.
Now he'd only constantly receive a meek tap against his shoulder with a request of speeding up or shallowing out his thrusts, at first he would be taken aback that it wasn't solely the intimacy of sex that they wanted from him, but the pleasure of the stretch of his cock and a pretty face attached to a known name, now he guesses that it isnât all that bad if itâs with girls who arenât hesitant to show him what they like in bed, girls who arenât scared to grab at his big hands and pull him closer to tend to where they need him.
Heâs learned that he likes the ones who donât struggle with being communicative, ones that are there for the same reason as him, what he doesn't like is the unnecessary difficulties; the ones who want the unseen parts of him but aren't interested enough to bring it to a hotel room, just purely wanting to be wanted by someone like him, to be sought after, to have their friends know whoâs messaging them in the dead of night, the ones who only give him enough to pique his interest whilst fully knowing beforehand that theyâd never give in to the lick of his lips and his brief coquettish touches.
It's ironic, he knows this, chasing after exactly what he couldn't give you, surely you'd be laughing at him for this if you were aware of it.
It makes his lip twitch, the muscles beneath strained by his effort to prevent a smile from thickening at the thought of you, the image of you laughing, how beautiful the unmasked parts of you were. The thought of someone else being able to witness those moments makes his subconscious smile falter just as quickly as it appeared.
He doesnât have time for this, not when heâs about to perform at yet another successfully sold out venue, one that girls will be attending, pretty girls, easy girls.
He can hear the faintest sound of fans talking amongst themselves, lost to their own excitement as they trickle in, it makes him shudder, cringing at himself from the interrupting memory of the night before when he sent you a message before his brain could process the consequences of possibly seeing you again, requesting that if you were in town, if you were free from juggling any of your lifeâs responsibilities that youâd attend, all charges on him if need be, âJust wanna see you one last timeâ heâd claimed, the smell of sex and cheap perfume still rich in his sheets.
Knowing there's a chance you're somewhere in that pooling crowd makes his stomach swell with excitement of his own, but he already feels the dread of the moment you leave, unknowing of when he'll see you again, if he'll ever see you again. The world is so big, and he knows he's selfish but he hates how easily he could lose you to it despite it being for the better.
But that's if you even show.
Intak's unheard of as he slips into the room, gentle in the way he approaches Keeho, hand ghosting at his back, "We're ready.â he says with a taut smile on his lips, unable to distinctly make out their leaders emotions results in him being reduced in his presence, just until he knows.
Keehoâs quick to pull back from his reflection, scatterbrained, blinking back the thin gloss of his eyes thatâs near thickening, âYeah okay,â he sniffles with an attempted smile, his reddened nose is telling but Intak keeps quiet in his concern. âletâs gather up then.â
Even in his abruptness Intak doesn't budge, his eyes flickering around the room as his thoughts gather, sorting. His chest extends with an inhale once he's caught an appropriate response, a habit Keeho's all too familiar with, one that has him rolling back his stiff shoulders in ready, while doing so he rids himself of his touch. "We," he reiterates thickly, "are ready. You aren't."
Keehoâs still for a second, letting his words settle, a dry laugh slipping as he attempts to brush past him, shoulders bumping as he moves across the room. âWhy wouldnât I be?â He asks, grateful for his regard, but itâs one thatâs difficult to abide by, unrealistically so.
Intakâs fallen victim to his seemingly endless act of composure plenty of times, in so heâd step back, allowing the man to bear the weight of a leader unaided, but tonight heâs unfaltering. âJongseob, he somehow managed to find her,â his voice now a small thing as he speaks, the sound of Keehoâs footsteps become light until theyâre silent altogether, stopping to plant himself into place. âsheâs out in the hall now, waiting for you.â
He wants to spin around, ask who's waiting for him, to snap at him to 'knock it off', that this isn't funny, but how could someone like Intak possibly find humour in this, knowing how torn he was over your absence because of the choice he made, another part of him is anxious to get out of this room as fast as his unsteady legs could carry him, just to make sure.
He merely looks at him from over his shoulder, so eager to leave he doesnât want to waste a second while asking him for confirmation that youâre here, that youâre here for him, although the second question is left unanswered because heâs scrambling to open the door, trying not to run but his legs wonât stop now.
The second you come into sight, he swears he could let a loud sob rip through his chest, render his throat raw, unusable.
After all this time spent seeing you from the furthest distance possible, heâs got you right in front of him, and all the words in existence seem to ball into his throat at once, leaving him to choke on his own surprise, panicking, because if it doesnât come out now, will it ever?
Your eyes are drawn to his head of hair thatâs no longer a deep black, but now a light almost lucent silver under the light, "Ste-" you're quick to catch at your tongue, shaking the embarrassment off with a purse of your lips as he eases closer with caution telling from his features soft, unwilling to have you scared off so fast. The further he reaches the more lightheaded you feel, his height so highlighted in your proximity that your brains turning to liquid in the heat that's found prominence in your ears and cheeks. "Keeho, I mean- or... whatever Iâm supposed to call you now."
There's a dull ache in his chest that's spurred on by the sound of his claimed stage name on your tongue, so lost in the conflict of him not being able to voice the unsavoury taste of your enforced formality thatâs just keeping you out of reach, completely blind to the puddle he's actively reducing you to right before him, his face scrunches in evidence to his disliking of the sound. "Steph, I've always been Steph to you." He reminds you, which is stupid, he says it as if he were ever forgettable to begin with, which is even more stupid because it's hard considering that his face is practically everywhere whether you want it to or not, you can't breathe without the mention of P1Harmony's Keeho.
You know it's a blatant attempt to play you in closer, but with the sliver of willpower you came with you manage to digress, keeping that barrier in place was for the better so when you're to leave again the break would be clean, precise, easy.
Your fingers toy nervously with the hem of the t-shirt thatâs slung over your shoulder, âI think that Keehoâs more appropriate, donât you?â
You were still just as competent in maintaining your integrity as he remembered, not even your grudges could get the best of you, or the fact that it never came as easily as you made it out to be.
He has this lazy smirk on his face, his eyes low and lidded as they drag over you, a look you used to flourish under. He catches at the familiar looking shirt for a split second but he doesnât make it obvious, doesnât say a thing, not like youâd notice, the dim overhead lighting only accentuates the height of his cheekbones, his hair and makeup already done.
For someone whoâs such an idiot, heâs surely the prettiest out there. âThen Keehoâs fine, whatever you want pretty.â He doesnât try to push it, he knows better than that. His head lazes to the side, nerves settled now that heâs aware you arenât going straight for his jugular. Well, not that heâd mind, hell, heâd probably even encourage it.
âDonât do that Keeho,â You breathe, suddenly sounding so defeated, your lip curled, eyes pleading up at him. âthatâs not fair.â
You thought you had finally found the courage in yourself to take this last step closer to healing, but heâs only setting you back with sweet names that make this feeling of homesickness twist deep into your gut.
He wants to reach out, run his hand against your soft skin, soothe you with the sound of his heart, but thatâs not his place anymore, heâd be a hypocrite if it was. âIâm sorry,â He merely whispers out pathetically, âyouâre right, it isnât fair. Itâs also not fair that you used your own money for the ticket, I told you I couldâve hooked you up-â
âYouâre being big headed.â
âI knowâ
âI donât like it, this isnâtâŚ.â
âI know.â
The sliver of conversation fizzles out into an awkward silence, the crowd just on the other side of the wall becoming louder with impatience, eager to see the six on stage, and you can tell heâs getting restless from the anticipation of his fans waiting on them, but also the fact that heâs finally got you in front of him, all to himself, looking as good as you do.
Before you have the chance to speak up he interrupts your unspoken words, âDo you have your phone?â He asks, eyes already searching for it on you.
Your hand instinctively moves to your back pocket, where you tucked it prior to being briskly escorted to where you stand, âYeah, why?â Before you have the chance to unlock it heâs snatching it from you, his fingers dancing quickly across the screen, a slight furrow to his brow.
âExcuse you? I didnât even get the chance to unlo-â
In his haste he has to delete some errors but before you know it heâs handing it back, your contacts pulled open with his name and an unrecognizable number already filled out.
âYou never change your passwords anyways,â he says, when you look back up heâs already half way down the hall, a teasing smile on his face at your surprise, of course he remembers, of course he had to make it obvious that he remembers. âWeâll meet after the show so we can continue this, âkay? Iâll text you! So donât shatter my ego and wait for me, maybe Iâll even sign your shirt for you.â
â
You wouldâve been content just heading home after, you had your chance when your friend who so kindly attended the show for âmoral supportâ offered to drop you off, but you ended up declining, because as much as you hate it the curiosity of what Keeho had planned was eating you alive, you couldnât back out now, especially now that heâs got you in his hotel room, spread out so pretty on his bed, the want purely for him clouds out all rational thought before you could even begin to question your decision.
âBreathe baby,â he utters, his tone warm, gentle, the names he calls you no longer evoke this prolonged feeling of resentment- now, itâs like heâs stealing you from the present, his fingers nimble in peeling you back to what you used to be. Heâs compelling in his actions, lips pulling thin against yours with every kiss like he never wants to part again, âtell me you want this. Please⌠just one more time, tell me youâre sure of yourself.â His eyes are widened in alarm, searching over and over for even the slightest glimpse of uncertainty in your expression.
Your lungs expand by his command, face easing further into the warmth of his palm, âAre you starting to second guess my competency?â
A smile cracks through his concern, his head dips trying to catch at a laugh, forehead resting against yours, âA little,â he offers, his fingers slip back into your hair, keeping you close. âmaybe thatâs okay, I can be selfish, just for tonight at least, right?â
âRight,â your eyes close, knowing that this is stupid, so fucking stupid. It scares you, he scares you with how easily heâs managed to rope you back into his arms, that from the smallest beckon of his hands you come running even though you swore never again. Yet, here you are, âjust for tonight.â
His lips are wet and soft, jelly against yours as heâs pressing them so delicately into you, his head tipping to the side so the tip of his tongue can run against your bottom lip, poking into your teeth so gently you barely realize itâs there until he sucking up the courage to proceed further and your fingers are raking further up his scalp, keeping him pinned as close to you as possible, eyes splitting open just enough to catch a glimpse at his face, so pretty in his motions, so relaxed in your hold.
Your hip goes cold, coaxing out a whine at the loss of warmth as he drags it down your thigh, he pulls back with a last peck to your lips, soothing: âShhh, youâre okay.â as he watches his hand, honeyed voice comforting in your ears. âjusâ need to feel you sweet girl, you still familiar with two?â The pads of his fingers run ticklish against your inner thigh as he waits, stimulating you back into your own body.
âDonât wanna wait, please donât make me wait.â
Your tone strums at his affliction, but he doesnât have the heart to make you further divulge the underlying truth to your words, instead he draws back. âYouâre su-â
âGod Steph,â you huff, body slack against the bed in annoyance. âjust fuck me already.â
He doesnât respond, his chest feeling concave to the sound of his name, having not heard it and enjoyed it since heâs last had you, he laughs as heâs reaching to tug down his briefs, but your hands quickly replace his, âEasy,â he warns, yet only watches as your hand massages at his length once the fabrics gone, weighing out the girth of him, he hisses when you bring your other palm up to his mouth, signalling for him to spit with a nod.
His jaw clenches once youâre pulling his tip leisurely through your slit, strung with arousal laying thickly coated, youâre so warm that itâs making him twitch, his jaw pulled tight, watching as you unabashedly tease yourself with him, your hips waving up in time with your hand, just wanting to feel him, to capture this feeling, this sight, to keep it.
âWait!â He panics feeling the hurtling pulse of warmth thatâs spreading faster than he can comprehend. âYouâre gonna make me-â his words cut short by a strained moan once you drag him against your clit, the heavy dribble of his cum tapping pleasure into you as it spurts out. You jump at the unexpectedness of it, looking down to see his quads spiked into a frenzy under his skin, his face sinking warmly into the space between your neck and shoulder in pure terror at how quickly you managed to make him peak.
Judging based off of his reaction, this wasnât a normal thing for him. Your hand soothes at his bare shoulder in circles, allowing him time to come back down to you, âDoesnât happen often Iâm guessing?â You whisper, hips twitching at the feeling of the thick liquid slowly dripping down.
âNo-Not since- fuck, since we split.â
âThink you can get inside of me without cumming again?â You tease, choosing to block out the image heâs unknowingly developing in your head, with a breathy laugh he presses a wet kiss to your cheekbone, âWeâll see, you just feel too fuckinâ good, donât hate me if it happens again, yeah?â He sucks in a breath between his teeth at the feeling of you catching at his head, nodding weakly as you continue feeding him further inside, within seconds heâs past the half way point, you have him so dizzy that he canât possibly keep his head up, saliva leaking from the corner of his mouth.
Somehow, without a word his hips take control once youâre the one having to adjust, the stretch biting, with every clench of your jaw heâs pressing warm kisses into it, trailing them down to your neck, licking at the spots that used to have you whining.
This is different, he thinks, with you he has the option to get lost inside of his head instead of forcibly being grounded by the sound of dramatic moans that sound like theyâre meant for the sole purpose of entertaining a camera, he doesnât have to be conscious about the space between your bodies, with you heâs close, skin to skin, he can feel the way your chest expands with your hasty breaths, the slight pitch to them that heâs shamelessly drinking in, wanting more, needing more.
The thought of how you always hated the deliberate pause comes to mind so suddenly, the memory of you instead urging him to sink himself down all the way so the transition would fade away quicker has him keeping his movements paced but continuous in your favour⌠at least the old you. âFeels good baby, so good.â He reaches to take hold of your thigh but as soon as he comes into contact youâre throwing it up over his lower back, pulling him closer, deeper.
âYouâre being too- concerned about how to go about touching me. You have me, Steph, all of me. Please, fuck- treat me how you used to.â
How he used to, his breath catches, after all this time spent imagining you beneath him heâs finally aloud to indulge in his old habits that you conditioned him to do- that you built from scratch without being asked of something different, something less, something more. Itâs then that it strikes him that you want the same as him, to finally get a chance at touching the past.
His weight shifts heavy into his limbs, keeping him firm above you, heâd do anything, anything you want of him. His arm thick with veins lifts at your other leg to meet his back, your ankles crossing, hands pawing at his chest thatâs much denser than you remember, more defined with muscle that you havenât touched before.
The blunt edge of your nails drag down in almost a tickling sensation, the feeling of it makes his bones rattle knowing you had a habit of doing the exact same thing years ago, when heâd have you laid beneath him in his bed back at home, the intimacy of it, to be able to touch him in a way no one else had, before the fame, before the image of you was erased from the world for the sake of his own, before other girls had the opportunity to touch him in the ways you used to.
Though the bed he has you in now is much bigger in comparison to the twin sized mattress in his childhood room, heâd do anything to experience the hushed moans shared through open mouths and restricted thrusts again.
âHurts?â He asks, trying to find where youâve disappeared to.
You shift, your back pulling sticky from the warm sheets. âA little, make it go away, Steph⌠please, know you can.â
He keeps his mouth shut, instead he tends to what heâs told and pulls out, not quite all the way in fear of the emptiness being too harsh of a difference all too fast, but it still prompts your lips to part, eliciting whines from you as he eases himself back inside, he canât help but smile at the way you cling to his chest once he settles himself into a steady set of thrusts, whispering sultry words into your ear that aid in the pleasure of his cock plunging into you, all accompanied by the sound of his moans, so heavy and distinct in your ear, he sounds nothing like the videos youâve seen him in, it makes your noise lessen in attempts to hear more of him, because for once heâs just yours to hear, not everyone elseâs, right now heâs just Stephen, your Stephen.
He spends his time working you higher with little to no blathering about the over-sentimental value of your return to him, only singing you short words of praise and concern, heâs attentive in making sure heâs not too rough, nor too diluted.
One things for sure, if he could keep this image in his head forever, he would.
âSteph, Steph please! Not gonnaâ last long!â you cry, both the creaking of the bed frame and the repetitive knock of the headboard against the wall thats so loud its worthy of a noise complaint is far from thought, his pace only picks up, so eager to work you into your orgasm that he doesnât care about how sloppy the angle of his hips has become as heâs thrusting back into you, as long you feel good, just wants you to cum around him, needs you to.
ââve got you baby, whenever youâreâ fuck⌠ready, just let it go, know you can, my pretty girl.â
His words knock you into incoherence, your mind all too full of the long untouched depths he manages to reach, the head of his cock tipping into all the right places, leaving you limp, wholly subjected to the inescapable pleasure he brings.
It only increases once he brings the pad of his middle finger to your clit, his finger curling back in swift motions, it becomes covered in the wetness that adheres to his skin without much effort, through it you can feel the roughness of the small ridges in his skin, your hips kick up, chasing it, so quickly addicted, so frantic in your course that not even the burning of your hips could hold you back, small eager moans float from your throat until youâre still in his hold, lungs solidifying into stone as the course of your orgasm begins to flow into play.
âSteph! Steph- fuck!â You whine, nipping at his ear, his arms wrap warmly around you, easing you with his voice. âthere you go, shit- good girl. Did so good fâme baby, so good.â
â
The next morning youâre left with this almost unfamiliar tenderness existing throughout your legs, hips sore to the touch, a few marks left behind in your skin that you refuse to let see the light of day until theyâve faded away, and this strange sense of sorrow, or was it, relief?
The emotion was untouchable, no matter how hard you tried to pick it apart, a mix of a multitude of things you couldnât even begin to describe, but if the ache in your chest that sat a little too close to your heart had the chance to make itself any clearer, you know you wouldnât be able to coexist with it.
Your contacts now wiped clean of Keehoâs number, his name, his messages.
But you arenât left to dwell completely in your own misery over it because thereâs still evidence that heâs still real all over you, even though evidently it was never meant to be, but itâs nice to know youâre still an existing thought in his head, and if not very important, or grand, youâll always be a thought within that stupid head of his, somewhere.
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serial-sweetheart (s.jy & p.sh)
Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Sunghoon came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Jake, has a bit of a thing for you?Â
MDNI!!
WORDCOUNTâ 23.6k
PAIRINGâ shy jake x afab reader | sunghoon x afab reader
CONTENTâ sunghoon and reader are 24, jake is 21. boyfriend sunghoon, perverted/shy college boy jake, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy jake, dom-ish sunghoon in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of heeseung raging at jake through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao
WARNINGSâ infidelity that doesnât get exposed, foot job but only bc i canât figure out how to write a scene like this if itâs not your foot lmao, there are intimate things happening between reader and jake in like, almost every fuckin scene.
NOTEâ if youâve read this before, itâs because i wrote it for a different band on my other blog(@/ncteez). this is a revamp of that fic, freshly edited and updated.Â
smut tags under cut::Â
smut tagsâ infidelity, Â rough sunghoon, jake listens through the walls, tons of masturbation, he also steals panties and gets caught and embarrassed by reader, mentions of double penetration, lil under the table moment with jake, foot job but i swear im not into feet just hear me out ok? Itâs brief i swear, sexting and phone sex, reach-around hand job, jake isnât entirely subby when he finally gets his dick wet, penetration, pet names, sexting, g-spot stimulation, cream pie, unprotected sex,Â
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The two years youâve spent so far with Sunghoon can arguably be considered the best of your life. Heâs accommodating, listens to all of your problems, touches you in all of the right ways, and heâs even well-liked by your parents. You love your boyfriend enough to spend countless nights at his place just to get away from your own. Itâs comfortable there, and feels like home, whereas your own apartment just feels empty without him.Â
The relationship felt very adult. He was the first boyfriend to stay with you longer than a couple of months, the first one to have his own house, job, money, and car. The two of you were equal, comfortable, and happily in love. Anyone could trust that both of you were running towards the path of marriage, and youâd agree with them if it werenât for the fact that your eye is dangerously close to landing on someone else lately.
In your defense, your eyes didnât linger before Jake, Sunghoonâs younger brother, moved in. You had no interest in anyone aside from Sunghoon but, Jake is really something else. Cute, loud, obnoxious, and even charming at times. Still, youâve caught him countless times staring for too long at your legs when you wear shorts around the house, lingering in the room when Sunghoon has his lips on yours, and even stuttering through conversations with you after a wild night in the bedroom with his older brother.Â
It was cute at first, but as the months went on, you started staring at Jake a little more. Youâd note that he gets flustered easily but canât bring himself to leave any given situation that causes such a reaction. He gets hard sometimes too, you can see it, and occasionally you can hear him take care of it too.Â
The first night you heard it, Sunghoon was sound asleep next to you after a long, drawn-out session of putting you in your place (sexually). You were comfortable beside him, listening to his soft snores and finally settling yourself in to close your eyes and sleep too.
It was so silent, the entire house seemed as empty as it always had been outside of you and your boyfriend, except for the fact that Jake was in this house now too. You shot an eye open at the sound of a muffled moan through the wall. You could tell he tried to prevent it, noticing that it appeared to be choked back almost as quickly as he let it fall from his lips.
You laid there, first attempting to sleep but ultimately falling victim to the thoughts of what Jake must have been doing just a wall over. You felt guilty about the images, imagining how cute he must look tugging at himself and whimpering, frustrated at how he canât make a sound. Jake knows how thin the walls are, youâre sure of it. Even you and Sunghoon have tried to be quieter so Jake doesnât have to hear it and feel uncomfortable.Â
The choked-back sounds he was letting out every few minutes only furthered your thoughts into the danger zone that night. You realized you wanted to watch him. You wanted to help him. And when Jake hit his high, you heard his bed frame hit the wall one time, hard. The image of him lying on his back and fucking against his fist was long gone and replaced with images of what position he could have been in for the bed to hit to wall like that. What was he doing?Â
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âGood morning, sunshine!â You sing out obnoxiously to your boyfriend when he rounds the corner in a sleepy show of how much he doesnât want to go to work today. Heâs already dressed but you can see the darkened bags under his drooping, half-open eyes.Â
You donât often make breakfast for him, not that he minds at all, you just felt guilty about listening in on Jake doing his thing again last night and itâs not something youâre proud of. So yeah, maybe Sunghoon gets breakfast every time his little brother jerks off, what of it?Â
âThanks, babe,â Sunghoon smiles at you weakly, looking at the warm breakfast you place in front of him. âWhat if I just call in today?â He asks almost immediately after, tearing his eyes from the food and up to you, who had begun to fix a part of his hair that he seemed to have missed.Â
âUp to you, Iâve gotta head back to my place soon though.â You look at him, hands on your hips now as you give him another once-over. âYou look tired, maybe you should call out.âÂ
Sunghoon takes a moment to think. What would his excuse be to miss work on a Monday morning after already having two days off? Heâs sick? That wouldnât work, he ran into one of his bosses just the night before picking up some groceries. Car trouble? Also wouldnât work, he used that excuse last time and he swore he took his car to the shop that very day to make sure it was in tip-top shape. Death in the family? Thatâs just asking for bad karma.Â
âUgh,â Sunghoon sighs, picking up his fork and picking around the plate. It looks delicious, honestly, but work is the last place he wants to go right now. âHow are you so awake? We stayed up so late, are your legs even tired?â
You stop mid-step towards the fridge to grab some juice and turn to look at him.Â
âSunghoon, my legs are killing me, and itâs your fault.âÂ
He lets out a small laugh, giving himself a gold star for making you cum just as hard as he always did. âYeah, guess it is my fault, isnât it?â He prods for more compliments.
âThat aside, are you going to call out or?âÂ
He shakes his head, taking a bite and trying his best to enjoy this last hour of freedom before a nine-hour workday.Â
âNo, I donât think Iâd have a good excuse today. Youâre going home anyway too, Iâd just be bored.â
âUmmââ Jakeâs voice chimes in as he scuffs into the kitchen with socked feet. He yawns wide and side-eyes you only for a moment before flopping down on the chair next to Sunghoon with his legs spread wide. He looks like such a college boy. Looking equally as tired as your boyfriend and hair far messier, you note his side eye. âAre you saying Iâm too boring to hang out with?â
You let out a small chuckle at Jakeâs words, and Sunghoon just groans about it.Â
âYouâre still just as annoying as youâve always been. Iâd rather be wasting away at a desk than sitting here listening to you talk about the exam youâre not studying for.â
âI donât have exams yet?â Jake protests, looking over Sunghoon's food and swiping a piece from his plate. âThe semester hasnât even started.â
âIâm preparing for whatâs to comeââ Sunghoon drones on in a defeated voice.Â
âFair,â Jake smiles and looks at you. âSo, um, youâre going home today?â
âYep, gotta go to work too.â You sigh, pointing towards the stove. âWant some food?âÂ
Jake shuffles to his feet to make himself a plate with a small âthank youâ, and you canât help but notice how disappointed he sounds that youâre going home today.Â
âYouâre coming over on Wednesday though, right?â Sunghoon asks, sipping the mug of coffee in front of him and finally allowing himself to enjoy the food youâve graciously made this morning. If heâs gonna have to go to work, the least he can do is feel lucky that heâs not going in on an empty stomach.Â
âWhatâs on Wednesday again?â You smile towards your boyfriendâs now narrowing eyes.Â
âYou know what Wednesday is.â
âHm, no, donât think I doââ Smiling wider at the way his eyes narrow even further.
âWhatâs Wednesday?â Jake asks, setting down his plate and taking a bite.Â
âYeah, tell him what Wednesday is.â Sunghoon says in an annoyed tone, one that you can tell is a joke. He always plays along with your antics.
âI think itâs like, national fork day or something.â
Sunghoon brings a hand to his forehead with a laugh. âFork day? Thatâs all you can come up with?âÂ
Jake is just confused, clearly.Â
âIâm joking. Itâs our two-year anniversary.â
You hear a spoon clatter to the table and a small cough.Â
âUgh-â Jake groans, picking the cutlery up off the table and wiping the crumbs clean. âThatâs cool.â
Jake can see the way Sunghoon looks at him with his reaction, but it genuinely wasnât intentional. He just happened to drop his spoon at the wrong time and choke on his food. It wasnât meant to be as dramatic as it sounded. Also, maybe heâs a little shocked that Sunghoon managed to have a girlfriend for this long with how much of a bore he can be at times.Â
Especially someone like you.Â
Jake feels shy at the very idea of you, not just because heâs heard what you sound like when his brother touches you, but also because youâre just, like, really pretty and it makes his thoughts go in every direction when you speak to him.Â
Even now, just over a small breakfast, heâs disappointed that you have a job too. Heâs sad that he canât spend time in this house with you alone even though he knows well enough that he probably wouldnât have it in him to approach you.Â
Or does he? Knowing that from time to time, like when he first moved in, there had been some days where you stayed over and did your work-from-home stuff. He wasnât well acquainted with you back then enough to come out and sit with you, and heâs likely not acquainted enough now either, but that doesnât change the fact that he kind of wants to be around you without his brother taking note of the small crush he kind of maybe developed by being around you.
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Today is expected to be more exciting than your last anniversary. Mostly because itâs marking a second year with Sunghoon and solidifying the fact that the two of you have made it this far without any glaring issues that could threaten the relationship. At least, no issues that Sunghoon is aware of.Â
You think that these thoughts and images of Jake swimming in your head are a phase. In fact, you hope they are. Thereâs no way youâd ever actually go through with anything involving your boyfriendâs little brother. Heâs just kind of cute to see all flustered, even cuter when he tries to hide how heâs feeling regarding you.Â
Jake isnât there when you walk through your boyfriendâs door. Unfortunately, neither is Sunghoon.Â
Grabbing your phone and checking the time youâre distracted by the glaring text message from your boyfriend that seemed to have been sent some ten minutes ago as you got in your car for the drive over. A little wave of disappointment hits you as you stand alone in the darkened kitchen.Â
Sunghoon: hey iâm gonna be a little late. Boss got a last minute client today, like an hour before closing time so iâm gonna be here at least until 8:30
Sunghoon: is that okay?
The disappointment fades away with how good he is at communicating with you. Your last boyfriend who you only dated for like two months always bailed without notice on dates, ghosting you for a full day or two before explaining himself with one of the same excuses Sunghoon probably uses to get out of work. You know his job is important to him, and you know the anniversary is important to him. His priority doesnât always have to be you.
You: Yeah thatâs fine. What am i supposed to do for three hours though? Iâm already at your place (sparkly eye emoji)
Sunghoon is great at texting you back too.
Sunghoon: you could get yourself ready for me to come home ;)Â
You: for 3 hours?
Sunghoon: yes???? or you can just go bug Jake lol
The silence in the house tells you that Jake isnât home.
You: heâs not here, i figured he went out to give us some privacy?
Sunghoon doesnât respond for a few minutes, probably because heâs doing something important with his work. By the time youâve slipped off your shoes and laid against the couch, you get the little ping on your phone..
Sunghoon: Oh, right, he was gonna go meet with some girl he was talking to. I figured heâd chicken out and not go lol, maybe we really will have the house to ourselves tonight ;)
Something inside of you twists at his message. On one hand, youâre happy that you might get the entire house with your beloved boyfriend tonight, on the other hand, you kind of donât like the thought of Jake losing the ability to get all flustered around you if heâs got someone else doing it for him.Â
Are you jealous? No, but youâre a little selfish. You always liked when men chased you even if you knew it would lead nowhere, even if they knew it would lead to nowhere. It was harmless fun, but now all of your fun is gonna be ruined. The last thing you want to be hearing is Jake railing some girl in his room while youâre trying to sleep.Â
You: oh yeah? lets hope we donât have to be quiet tonight then, i have //plans//
Sunghoon: plans?Â
You: better get done with work soon so can come home and see <3
With that, you set your phone down and reach for the remote.Â
Jake is out with a girl right now? Part of you wonders how heâs navigating it, or if the girl is actually into him. The images in your head are amusing until you realize that youâre not imagining him stumbling over himself with some faceless girl. Youâre imagining yourself as the girl heâs out with.
Even on your anniversary, youâre bored and youâve got some hours to kill anyway. You sort through all sorts of images in your head. From what Jake would do if you were to reject him to what he would do if you didnât reject him. How he would act if you were leaning in to kiss him, or how he would react if you kissed his neck, started touching his stomach, trailing your hands downâ straight until youâre assuming that Jake must be getting a hand job somewhere right now. A little disappointed that itâs not you, you laugh at yourself.Â
Silly thoughts like these are normal and youâre sure Sunghoon has them too. Despite the fact that youâd be weirded out if it were about your little sister if you had one. Youâre not hurting anyone passing the time and thinking about how things would go with Jake. Surely not. Itâs just a fantasy and nothing more.Â
It will never be anything more.
Besides, Sunghoon was never shy toward you. Always shooting his shot in charming and convincing ways that have managed to lead to a two-year relationship thatâs still going strong. He didnât leave as much to the imagination at the beginning of your relationship, nor does he now. You canât even imagine Sunghoon being insecure or lacking confidence in anything he does, but then thereâs Jake. The little brother appears to live in the shadow of Sunghoon. From Jake attending college for the same thing to wanting the same woman that Sunghoon is in love with.
Are you too full of yourself for chuckling about that? Laughing at the fact that heâs so entirely different from your boyfriend but thatâs the exact reason you find yourself fantasizing about the âwhat ifâsâ with him?Â
Now the thought of what Jake would do if he knew you were thinking about him this way infiltrates your mind. Would he panic? Surely. Would he blush? Oh yeah, for sure. Would he try to play it off as a joke until realizing youâre serious, visibly shivering as you watch him imagine? Ohâ would he tell Sunghoon? Would he get cocky? So many thoughts that are both scary, cute, andâŚhot.Â
You look at the clock on your phone again and realize how slowly the time is passing. Jakeâs out getting tugged at by some girl, Sunghoon is at work being an obedient employee, and what are you doing? Sitting on the couch in a daze.
Glancing around a bit, you shake your head at a specific thought.Â
Jakeâs room.
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Against your better judgment and several hours on hand to spend, you find yourself in Jakeâs room. Because of course you do.Â
 You donât know why your legs carry you here, but then again you kind of do. Curiosity. You donât really plan on snooping or anything, you just kind of want to see how he lives when heâs by himself. You want to see if he made his bed or folded his clothes. When you note that the loser definitely does not do either of those things, a flash of pastel blue is catching your attention.
In the mess of Jakeâs room, monochrome colors of black and gray come through the most. From sweatpants to band t-shirts, you werenât expecting to see a glimmer of pastel silk peeking from under one of his pillows.Â
It wouldnât have caught your attention if it wasnât for the fact that you recognize the color and even remember the day you purchased them. Those are your panties stuffed under Jakeâs pillow.Â
You find yourself smirking in an evil kind of way as you make your way toward the dainty fabric and pull it from the pillow. You can confirm it now, theyâre yours, and you remember wearing them just the past weekend you were over. It was normal for you to leave some of your laundry at Sunghoonâs place after staying the weekend, itâs not like you arenât here multiple times a week or anything.Â
Jake must have taken them from the laundry basket in the bathroom. The thought of him that morning when you made breakfast, acting as casual and normal as ever. The harsher thought of how you listened to him again after Sunghoon had fallen asleep the night before, furiously reaching his climax.Â
You spread the fabric against your fingers and laugh at the stain on them. This must have been what he was using that night, thinking of you, surely, right? God, Sunghoon would kill him if he found out.
And just as you go to look around to see if heâs stolen more of your intimate wares, you hear the front door open and you panic, shoving the panties into your back pocket and rushing out of his room to the bathroom just across the hallway.
In your slight panic, you manage to stand by the bathroom door and listen to the footsteps coming down the hallway. Itâs definitely Jake because Sunghoon would have called you to let you know he was coming home.Â
Checking the clock again, itâs barely six and youâve now got two or so hours pretending that you didnât just find your panties in Jakeâs room. Or, maybe, you donât have to pretend. Maybe you can just fluster and embarrass him more now.Â
You reach over and flush the toilet and then step to the sink to actually wash your hands because you definitely were just handling cum-stained panties, and then you step out of the bathroom acting surprised that heâs here.
âOh!â You exclaim, stepping out of the bathroom and looking directly at Jake through his bedroom door as heâs in the middle of throwing himself against the bed in frustration. âDidnât think youâd be here today?â
Jake nearly jumps out of his skin despite knowing someone was in the bathroom. He wasnât expecting to be addressed by you or Sunghoon today.
âYeah, me either.â He groans, throwing his hand over his face. âYou scared the fuck outta meââ
âAh, you seem frustrated. Why?â You ask, taking a step forward and leaning against the doorframe to his room, crossing your arms. âSunghoon said you were on a date or something?â
Jake groans again, lifting his back from the mattress to sit up and starts shaking his head in defeat. The fact that youâre talking to him right now only makes him feel worse. Heâs embarrassed enough by the happenings of the past hour or so, now he has to sit here and answer your questions about it?
âYeah, I was supposed to be but she ended up just using me as a ploy.âÂ
You only chuckle because of course thatâs the type of shit thatâll happen to him, but also like, youâre kind of glad the date wasnât a date, even if he didnât know it.
âA ploy?â
âTurns out, she was just trying to make some guy jealous. He literally served us our drinks. â
âOh yeah? Then what happened?â You question, prying now.Â
âWhen he was coming up to the table, she told me to kiss her so I did. Then as soon as he walked away, she was back on her phone and texting. She accidentally texted me I guess, saying that âthe plan is working, heâs definitely jealousâ.â Jake mocks the text message in a whiny voice.
You laugh a little louder this time, eyes darting to the pillow he had your panties tucked under.
âWhy are you laughing? Iâm miserable.â Jake is casual when he talks about it, but you note that he lets out a small chuckle too. âWhy would someone even use me to make a guy jealous?â
You freeze for a second. Hereâs your first opening.
âBecause youâre cute?â
Jake freezes now too, glancing away from you with what you think is that shyness youâd seen so much before. Itâs definitely shyness, if his quick-flushed cheeks are anything to go by.
 For Jake, out of everything thatâs just happened to him, at least you think heâs cute, but itâs not like he can have you or actually use your compliment as an ego boost considering youâre dating his big brother.
âAnyway,â You offer an out, noting his avoidance a little more now that you know what heâs been doing in his free time with your personal items. âSunghoon will be home later for our anniversary, sorry for what youâre gonna hear laterââÂ
Second opening.
âI know itâs weird to ask but I left a cute pair of panties last time I was here. Theyâre his favorite. I canât find them.â
Jake stands to his feet quickly and casually throws his jacket over the pillow you had pulled them from earlier. Upon the very mention of your panties, he feels caught, like heâs got three shining spotlights directed at him to warn you of the panty thief.Â
âI donât know, what color were they?â He awkwardly asks, trying to avoid looking at you, not even questioning that youâre asking him when youâve never so much as asked what he does in his free time. He canât even tell that heâs telling on himself right now.Â
âLight blue, silk.â You deadpan, looking at him.
âOh, I might have seen them in the laundry. Iâll go look.â
Before you can even protest, Jake is shuffling past you and rushing towards the laundry room. You follow behind him casually, not in the slightest bit of a hurry with a cheeky smile hidden from his view.
âI already checked in here. The dirty laundry too.â
âDid you check Sunghoonâs drawers? He did laundry yesterday, theyâre probably in there.âÂ
Jake is talking so fast that itâs almost sad. If you could pinch his flushed cheeks right now, you would.
âSmart boy.â You compliment with a finger in the air, walking towards Sunghoonâs room just to see what Jake will do next when you tell him theyâre not there.Â
You lazily look through all of your panties stuffed into Sunghoonâs drawers and head back out to Jakeâs room after a few moments. Quietly, you peek around the door and only laugh at him when you see that his pillow is overturned and heâs digging through a clothes pile in the corner of his room. The fact that he didnât even close his door is hilarious, but you imagine it was an afterthought considering time is against him.
âDid you find them?â You ask, watching him nervously stop searching and stay in place on the floor facing away from you. You can practically tell the cold sweat that hit him.
âN-no.â He says quickly. âDid you?âÂ
âYep.â You say, pulling the panties out of your pocket.
Jake relaxes, choosing to believe that somehow, the panties he had tucked under his pillow managed to walk themselves to the laundry room, step into the washer, then the dryer, and then place themselves neatly into Sunghoonâs drawer. Never will he let himself think that you found them, or even worse, Sunghoon found them.
When his shoulders relax and he turns to look at you, you see him stiffen up just as much as before when you swing the panties around your finger, stopping to present them in a way that shows the massive cum stain.Â
âGuess Sunghoon needs to find a new favorite, huh?â You joke, tossing them onto Jakeâs bed and walking away.Â
As you walk down the hallway with a smile on your face, you can hear Jakeâs frantic footsteps rush up behind you.Â
âWait! Itâs notââ He tries to explain the situation away. âItâs not what it looks like!â
âMy panties under your pillow aren't what it looks like?â You turn to face him at the end of the hallway, and with the way he was quickly following you, he runs directly into you and has to stumble back from the close proximity of you in front of him. Heâs never even touched you before. Never hugged you, prodded you, or even looked at you for too long when your eyes were already on him.Â
âNoââ He goes to say with a deep swallow of nervousness, but you interrupt him.Â
âJake, youâre lucky it was me who found them and not your brother.âÂ
âI know,â Jake stutters out, looking to the floor. âBut really, I didnât mean to-â
âIf you didnât mean for me to find them, you should have stuffed them further back. They were hanging out for anyone to see, Jake.â
He stops for a moment. Youâre telling him how he should have hidden them?
âWaitââÂ
Only now does Jake realize your comment of Sunghoon needing to find a new favorite pair of underwear before you tossed them back on his bed. Heâs gotta be thinking too positively to imagine youâre giving him the panties and offering tips on how to keep them from Sunghoon, right? Like you only gave them back because youâre disgusted by him, right?Â
âReally, Iâm sorry. I donât know why I took them.â
An admittance. You feel like youâve won the game and youâre definitely in the position to ask more questions.Â
âYou donât? Try and think of a reason then.â You ask, taking a step towards him.
You can see how that single step forward overwhelms him, so much so that he takes a step back, feeling frozen when his eyes glance up at yours. He canât pull his eyes away this time with the way youâre looking at him.Â
Thereâs a smirk against your lips and he canât sense a single bit of anger. Cautiously, he tries to avoid your question.Â
âI donât know why.â He repeats, staring down at you as you look at him and take another step forward.Â
âI think we both know why you stole them.â You smile wider, lifting slightly to where youâre just inches from his face. âDid you think of me?â
âYeah,â He sighs out, somewhat lost in your gaze as if he has managed to become hypnotized by the way youâre speaking with him. Then he shakes himself out of it, taking a step back with a muttered out string of âI mean, no!âÂ
You close in against him just as you did before, not allowing him to escape the hold you have on him. Youâre just as close as you were before he stepped back, and you continue.Â
âYou did? Do you listen in on what Sunghoon does to me too?â
Jake takes another step back, this time knowing full well that youâll just follow him again. And you do, practically walking him back through the hallway and against the wall after passing his room.Â
âI mean,â He admits. âSometimes.âÂ
You smile as he tries to back himself up further against the wall.Â
âWhy not all the time?â You follow up, watching the way his lip quivers a bit from the nervousness within him.Â
Unbearably cute is what Jake is at this moment, trapped and caught.Â
âYou guys get too quiet, I guess?â He answers as if itâs his own question, wondering if itâs what you want to hear. His belly is doing flips though, admitting these things to you and feeling as if youâll make fun of him, mock him, tell on him. Itâs a horrifying thought.Â
âYouâre too quiet sometimes too.â You smile before backing away and turning to walk back toward the end of the hallway.Â
Jake hangs his head wondering what the fuck just happened and if you were actually implying certain things toward him. He can barely bring himself to care that you hear him masturbate. He tries to be quiet, honestly, he does. But itâs hard sometimes when heâs rubbing his cock against the silk of the panties you just gave back to him, even harder when heâs hearing you through the walls and he imagines if youâd make the same sounds for him.Â
Pulled from his thoughts, he hears you turn the volume up on the tv before shouting at him.
âJake?â You say, waiting for him to respond quietly from out of view.
âYeah?â He responds as he makes his way back to his room.Â
âIâll be loud tonight.âÂ
Jake closes his bedroom door feeling like his body is on fire and like his mind is spiraling into a place where it shouldnât be.Â
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When Sunghoon got home, Jake made it his mission to not step foot out of his bedroom until the two of you were passed out. Thankfully, he had taken a quick bathroom break while also trying to avoid letting you hear that he left his room right before Sunghoon came back.
Jake almost feels like prey right now, additionally, heâs confused about the entire situation with you.Â
He tried to be a good person and not fantasize about his brotherâs girlfriend by making a profile on a dating app, but even now as he scrolls through all of the pretty faces, he knows that none of them would just let him steal their panties like you did. Not that itâs a hobby of his or anything, he saw your panties and he took the chance to give him a better orgasm next time around. Now heâs kind of obsessed with the idea though.
He had already placed the panties back under his pillow and stuffed them further back by now, and hearing you and Sunghoon in the living room doing couple-things doesnât really help the confusion in his head. If youâre in there all lovey-dovey with his brother, why did you get up so close to him earlier? Why did you offer to be loud for him? Why did you do any of what you did?
It feels wrong that everything just makes him want you more. Before, he was just being a horny guy, but now heâs like, maybe only horny for you.
Maybe itâs just a phase, surely itâll pass. He loves his brother.Â
Then he finds himself questioning if thatâs the truth as the night goes on.Â
Jealousy is a hateful demon. When he hears the shuffling into Sunghoonâs room and the giggles coming from both of you, Jake almost wants to hit someone. Why canât he have that? Why does Sunghoon always get to experience all the good things in life?
Not only was Jake used by some pretty girl today, he is now being shown yet again what he canât have and will probably never have. The jealousy is only worse, as he faceplants into his pillow and considers moving back in with his parents so that way he can stop wanting what his brother has.Â
The consideration is furthered when he grows frustrated at the sounds of you through the wall. He can even hear Sunghoon shush you a few times.Â
Unfortunately, against Jakeâs will, his cock starts to grow against the mattress and his thigh, fingers now tucking further under the pillow to find those silk panties that caused his ultimate demise today. Itâs instinctual at this point, despite how shameful he feels. He seriously just canât resist touching himself when he hears you, even through the frustration and annoyance.Â
When he runs his fingers along the fabric, still tucked beneath the pillow, he whines to himself at how pathetic it is for him to keep doing this. Only when he realizes that youâre over there being fucked and being loud specifically for him to hear does he pull them out and roll over onto his back.
All confusion and worry is left behind now as he replaces those anxieties with the idea of you grinding against him while wearing these panties. He thinks about how you like it, how you move your body, what youâd do with your hands.Â
His cock twitches to be free just a few moments later and he doesnât think twice about lowering his sweatpants and staring down at himself. He sighs in defeat at the image, noting how much harder he is now compared to the nights before when he weakly worked himself up to the faint sounds of you
From across the wall, youâre enjoying yourself far too much. Jake kind of falls into the back of your guilty mind as your boyfriend loves on you. Sunghoon came home excited, a hand was on you the entire time from the moment he walked through the door until now. Both hands are on you now as he praises you and pries your legs open.
 Usually, Sunghoon is rougher. Heâd do things that drive you insane, edge you, and deny you pleasure over and over again until he felt it was time to let you let go. The added attempts to be silent only made it more fun for your boyfriend, gagging you with his cock, fingers, or even your own panties. Tonight though, tonight is a little different considering it is the two-year anniversary of his relationship with you.
The plan you had for Sunghoon tonight was for him to use a new toy on you that youâd bought in secret. He always wanted to try double penetration with you but is never willing to share you, and you donât mind that at all. Still, you wanted to fulfill one of his fantasies, and thatâs what the intention is.Â
To your surprise though, Sunghoon leaves the toy still in its package on the table and has been eating you out for a solid twenty minutes already.
Heâs focusing on you entirely at this moment and itâs got your head spinning with the way his wet tongue flicks your clit while his lips envelop the entire bud. Heâs so good at it, and usually only does this when youâve been extra good for him, like if you willingly choke on his entire length or you let him overstimulate you to the point that getting head from him is painful.Â
His head is between your legs lapping away and all you can do is groan out for him, enjoying the way heâs being gentle and pointed with his tongue. His hands go from your legs to keep them from crushing his head to reaching up to massage your tits. He doesnât even try to silence you, and youâre thankful to keep your promise to Jake despite not actually trying to right now.Â
And when Sunghoon pulls his head back for a breath, he looks up at you and whispers a small âhappy anniversary, babyââ before smiling in such a genuine way that it has your heart crashing with the amount of love you have for him.Â
He dips back in after the loving words, hugging both of your thighs with his arms and burying his face into you for another ten minutes before, well, he grows a bit bored. He wants to make you cum this way and make it last as long as possible, but now heâs feeling neglected and the image of you with that toy you got is burning images in his mind the more he hears you moan for him.Â
âChanged my mind,â Sunghoon mutters as he pulls back for a breath and leaves your clit entirely abandoned.
 He hears you whimper at the loss of pressure and honestly, heâs always loved the way you sound when you do it. He finds himself reaching for the toy much quicker than he originally planned, soothing you through your disappointment with a fond voice.
âPlay with yourself while I get this ready.â He smiles at you, giving you a quick kiss to the forehead before fumbling with the box.Â
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The fact that Jake can hear his brother tell you to play with yourself makes him feel insane. Only because of the way you start moaning again and give him even more to think about while over here all alone.Â
Fuck, the thought of walking in on you one day with your fingers inside of yourself, not quite reaching where you want them to, asking him to take over for you?Â
Jake almost wants to put his ear to the wall.Â
Wait, why shouldnât he? He wants to hear you.
Cock still in hand and tangled against your panties, he shuffles to his feet and presses his ear against the wall. You sound much more clear now when he chokes back his own moan, knowing youâd probably hear it more clearly too considering how loud he is.
Knowing you can hear him though? That means Sunghoon can also hear him, so he tries his best to hold it back as he starts thrusting himself against the silk in his hand.
He does well until he hears a choked-out whimper, a slap, and some crude words coming from his brotherâs lips. On any other day of listening in, his cock would instantly go soft hearing his brother but what he says to you through these thin as fuck walls has him biting his lip in an attempt to silence his own moan.
âYou like being stuffed with two?â Jake hears at first, followed by another whimper from you. âSo wet, it slid right in beside meââ
Jake canât even imagine whatâs being done to you right now but he can tell youâre loving it in the way your whimpers turn to full-fledged moans that heâs never heard before.Â
âOh, fuckââ Jake groans out towards himself, looking down at his painfully hard cock against your panties. Dripping, absolutely an utter fucking mess in his own palm over you.Â
He starts to move his hand this time, faster than what his hips were doing. Only part of him is trying to match the sounds of skin slapping skin, moving his hand much faster than what heâs hearing happen to you.Â
Heâs sure youâd moan like that for him too. Wouldnât even need two to make you be so loud, surely.Â
And then heâs starting to shake, rolling his head a bit to where his forehead is against the wall. Heâs shamelessly out of breath when he whispers his own words to you as his cock begins to fucking weep his cum against your panties. Words of, âyeah, you like that?â and âBetter than him, right?âÂ
And when Jake backs away from the wall, allowing the muffled sound of your loud moaning to be further and further from his ear, he collapses on his bed in a deep breath and then trails his eyes back over towards the wall.Â
Youâre right there.Â
You know exactly what heâs doing in here but now he canât tell if youâre actually being loud because you told him you would, or if itâs because Sunghoon really is that good.Â
The jealousy hits again. It isnât fair.
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Itâs been days since your anniversary and now that work is finished, you get to head back over for your regular weekend with Sunghoon. Except now you wonder how awkward itâs going to be. The soreness between your legs has gotten better but the guilt of how Jake avoided you the next morning got worse.Â
You think you should leave it be, you should just let him have those panties and pretend it never happened, pretend you never flirted with him, and pretend you didnât tell him that you listen to him get off too.
You went too far on your fucking anniversary then proceeded to fall even more in love with Sunghoon.
Thankfully, you didnât go far enough to where it couldnât be salvaged, so when you leave today, you have the promise in your head that you will leave it alone. You will leave Jake alone and go back to what you were with Sunghoon before you ever fantasized about his little brother.
Except that doesnât happen because the moment you walk in and see Jake lounging by himself on the couch, shirtless, you find yourself avoiding him more than heâs avoiding you.
Though he immediately got up when you walked through the door with a small apology and rushed towards his room, you had to stop yourself from turning around and going straight back home. Sunghoon is here though, back turned towards you as he stirs something in a bowl.Â
âHey babe, can you come help me?â Your boyfriend calls out, glancing at you from over his shoulder and showing the smallest glimpse of something smeared against his cheek.Â
Your heart warms at how domestic he looks right now, kicking your shoes off and heading towards him with your weekend bag.Â
âI'll be back in a minute, let me put my bag in your room.â You say, coming up behind him and planting a kiss on his shoulder.
He lends you a short nod in response, turning his attention back to his mixing bowl with a smile plastered across his face. Not a day goes by where he doesnât miss you, honestly.Â
And as you make your way down the hallway to Sunghoonâs room, you note how Jakeâs door is closed. Youâre thankful for that, as the image of his stupidly attractive shirtless body still appears to be fucking burned into your brain.
 Itâs stupid, honestly, you have a whole Sunghoon in the kitchen waiting for you, who will probably make you cum a minimum of three times tonight, and youâre panic-walking past his little brotherâs bedroom because youâre incredibly fucking attracted to him.Â
Ridiculous.
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The self-control you once had is no longer present in your head. The plan to leave it be is less and less attractive in your brain the more you take in the image of Jake in front of you at the table texting away on his phone.Â
You watch him shamelessly as Sunghoon goes back and forth in the kitchen. Youâre almost completely skewed from his view, thanks to the wall separating the kitchen and dining room, as you sit here across from Jake. Heâs wearing a shirt now, rude, and is only glancing at you from time to time.
Heâs not saying a damn thing to you though, which is annoying.
What happened to you avoiding him? No, what happened to him avoiding you?Â
From under the table, you gently kick against his leg to get his attention and his eyes snap up toward you. You look down instantly, pretending as if you werenât kicking him to get his attention at all. All so youâre the one ignoring him instead.Â
But your leg stays there, occasionally kicking against him just to see how long it takes for him to stop reacting to it.Â
Scrolling through your own phone now, youâre swiping through videos, listening to Sunghoon clattering through the cupboards, and feeling incredibly warm sitting in front of Jake. You donât know whatâs gotten into you when it comes to him, honestly.
Finally, you slowly trail your eyes back up to his face and note that he does the same, at the exact same time.Â
The two of you share a moment of silence looking at each other. You can almost feel his eyes pull you in without intent. It feels dangerous just to look at him, seeing him in a newer light than what youâd seen in him when it was just amusement on your end. You wonder if he can tell. Probably not.
He doesnât look away from you, and youâre not sure why. He just stays still and silent, blinking back at you.Â
Maybe heâs being pulled in too, like a silent agreement communicated just through eye contact. The electricity in the space between the two of you is nothing short of dangerous. Your body almost acts on its own when you raise your lips into a half smile at him and plant your foot on the chair between his legs.
Still keeping eye contact, you watch him jump at the action but he doesnât move or push your foot away. Instead, heâs breaking eye contact and looking down, staring down, really, at how your socked foot is planted directly between his legs.
He doesnât move, trailing his eyes back to you now with a curious look. You continue, pressing your foot forward just slightly. Jake jumps again at the feeling and shoots his eyes to the opening of the kitchen.
 Sunghoon is still facing away, stirring something in a pot on the stove. Thank fuck.
 Heâs not strong enough to push your foot away. In fact, he can hardly comprehend the situation at all, or why he presses his hips forward out of need rather than want. He knows itâs wrong to have you touching him in any way whether itâs your foot or not, this is not okay to be doing. But god, he yearns for you so badly. Heâll take anything, everything he can get.Â
You smile wider, watching the way his face tries to stay casual as he gently scoots forward and presses himself further against your foot. Only now, satisfied, do you look back down to your phone as if you didnât just do that, and like youâre not keeping your foot in place for Jake to grind against.Â
The fact that heâs actually doing this at all is enough for you to feel warm on the inside. All you were going to do was experimentally cross a line to see what would happen. This is a much better outcome compared to him rushing out of the room in a panic.Â
It doesnât take long before you start giving more pressure against his weak grinds. Each time you glance up just to get a look at his poker-face, you can tell heâs looking at you in disbelief and shifting his eyes to keep checking for Sunghoon.Â
You can tell he grinds harder when Sunghoon isnât at risk of seeing, and he moves more weakly when his alarm bells are ringing. If anything, the fact that Jake is falling apart in front of you and trying to pretend he isnât is enough to have you pressing forward more.
You smirk as you scroll to watch another video, feeling his cock twitch against your foot, and god, heâs really that desperate? You hate how much you like it and hate even more that youâre so fucking attracted to him doing this right now.Â
When you glance up again, this time because you really canât help yourself at this point, you note that Jake is really trying to concentrate on looking normal despite his body obviously shifting back and forth under the table.Â
Heâs insanely obvious, and already it makes even you panic at the fact that heâs really losing his ability to remain calm.Â
âJake, have you seen this meme?â You fake laugh out loud, mostly to stop him from getting too into it and blowing the cover.Â
He jerks his hips back with an annoyed groan, realizes where he is and whatâs between his legs, and then jumps back into an act.
âNo, I donât think soââ He says nervously, leaning forward to see your phone.Â
You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him closer over the table, lifting him from his seat and whispering as quickly as you can.
âYou need to stop being obviousââ You warn before releasing him and turning your phone to show him the video.
Jake lets out a fake laugh at the video, shifting his eyes to you apologetically before seating himself back down and looking dead into your eyes.Â
There, he feels you adjust your foot again, this time further into his chair where you can blatantly feel how desperately hard heâs gotten over this.Â
Jake canât just sit here and let this continue for too long, despite really, really fucking needing the touch. And it sucks, considering itâs the first time youâve actually come onto him and it just has to be with Sunghoon barely even a room over?Â
God, fuck. Fuck!Â
Right here, right now, Jake decides heâs going to take what he can get, even if it makes you feel sorry for him.Â
Youâre shocked when you feel his hand grab your foot and hold it in place before very harshly  grinding against it. Watching him from across the table, he makes it very obvious as to what heâs doing but still, you find yourself falling apart at the way he parts his lips, squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to hold back a moan.Â
Then, just as quickly as he started, you feel him push your foot away and heâs scooting back in his chair.Â
âI left something in my room. Iâll be back.â Jake says sheepishly, looking to the floor and rushing into the hallway.
You watch him rush out of the room confused, so you look behind you hoping Sunghoon didnât like, make eye contact with him or something. It doesnât appear he did though, because you see him waist-deep bent over in the fridge looking for something.Â
Jake needed to like, not come in his pants from that. Not in front of you. Not in front of his own fucking brother.
 He doesnât even fucking like feet! But, well, he likes you.Â
You offered pressure and he fucking took it. He needed to finish himself off and not have to sit there in cum-soiled pants pretending like it didnât just happen. So, naturally, he ran to his room to finish himself off out of frustration. Thankfully heâs close enough to reach climax within two to three strokes, right there leaning against his door.Â
Embarrassed by the small sob he let out during his orgasm, heâs quick to rush to the bathroom and clean up before grabbing a hoodie from his room and throwing it on over the t-shirt, mostly so it does look like he actually came in here to grab something.
Not even five minutes pass before heâs sitting in front of you again. Jake feels helpless in the way he can no longer bring himself to avoid looking at you, all the way up until Sunghoon peeks into the room and announces that he thinks heâs perfected the soup recipe, and is ready for you guys to come try it.Â
You, on the other hand, didnât look at Jake after he came back. Not much, anyway. Itâs not that you didnât want to, itâs mostly just that youâre coming to terms with the fact that you just crossed a line and youâre not sorry about it. Even after Sunghoon places a spoon at your lips and the soup is definitely the most delicious heâs ever made.Â
 Even after heâs got his arm around you at the table with that same loving smile plastered on his lips, sitting across from his little brother who just eye fucked you while grinding against your foot, you struggle to decide who youâd rather look at.Â
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The events of yesterday stay fresh on your mind as Sunghoon lays next to you half-awake and scratching against his arm before cuddling in closer to you. Heâs so warm and all you can do is wonder why you're risking this comfort to have fun with his little brother.
 Youâve already crossed a line and gone too far. You did exactly what you said you werenât going to do and exactly what you never thought you could do. Youâre probably not going to be able to stop even if you wanted to, so you opt to justânot think about when itâs gonna happen again or if itâs gonna happen again.Â
Saturday almost flies by and before you know it, all three of you are lounging in the living room to watch a movie. Usually, Jake isnât as present when youâre with Sunghoon but since everything started, he makes himself known much more.Â
He includes himself in things and engages in more conversation. You wonder if itâs because heâs waiting for you to do something again. The worst part about all of it is that you can tell Sunghoon is enjoying the time heâs spending with you and Jake together.Â
Even during this movie, Sunghoon doesnât think twice when you lean against him and throw your legs over Jakeâs lap to get comfortable. Alternatively, Jake thinks three to four times over when you do it, opting to keep his hands at his sides when he steals a glance at you and notes that youâre comfortable under his brotherâs arm.Â
The movie goes on like that and Jake canât help but feel like itâs taking forever to be over with. Then again, heâs staring at your legs on his lap more than the movie on the screen. It gets worse when there's a jumpscare and your legs are tensing up and moving around against him.Â
At least this time itâs not your fucking foot and heâs got a calf muscle to work with.Â
You did it both intentionally and unintentionally. You werenât exactly throwing your legs on him to get him to rub against them or anything, it was mostly just to fluster him, but Jake proves himself as someone with zero self-control once again.
 You feel him twitch under your legs and shamefully, you immediately feel arousal drip between your legs. The fact that he gets you so riled up so fast will always be a mystery to you, honestly.Â
The good news? Being turned on isnât so bad right now, considering you have Sunghoon right here to help you take care of it without much convincing.
Adjusting yourself, you pull your legs from Jake and take a second to focus on his lap. The tent in his pants is obvious, but Sunghoon pays no mind as his eyes stay on the screen. You watch the way Jake covers himself quickly and looks at you in confusion.Â
As he looks at you, you move a bit to look at Sunghoon.
Without warning, your boyfriend is thrown off guard by you suddenly kissing his neck. If Jake doesnât have self-control, neither do you.Â
And in your defense, youâre not trying to dangle your relationship in front of him, really, youâre not. Itâs not your fault that Jake got hard and that caused a chain reaction in getting you wet.Â
Sunghoon pulls back to look at you. His face is somewhat concerned but still, heâs smiling as he makes attempts to dodge your kisses.Â
âHey, hey slow downââ He turns his face to whisper into your hair. âItâs weird with Jake here.â
You ignore his whispers and continue to kiss against him, moving your hand dangerously close to his upper thigh.Â
In a way, Sunghoon canât believe that youâre really acting like this in front of Jake. Sure, the two of you have kissed in front of him, and Jake has walked in on some steamy makeout sessions, but it was never intended to be in front of him. Then again, Sunghoon knows how needy you can get and how selfish you can be when youâre wanting something specific from him.Â
âOkay, okayââ Sunghoon relents in another whisper, gently pulling himself from the couch and grabbing your hand.Â
âHey, I think sheâs getting tired.â Sunghoon laughs with the obvious lie to his brother. âCan we finish the movie another time?âÂ
âUh, sure.â Jake responds, knowing full fucking well that youâre turned on because of him and now youâre gonna go fuck his brother to take care of it.Â
This is so annoying.
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Come Sunday morning, you were just as turned on as you were the night before. You can feel your body heating the moment you even think of Jake, but Sunghoon satiates you well enough. Even there against the bathroom wall as the two of you take a shower.Â
Sunghoon took note the night before that you enjoyed it when he humiliated you for doing those things in front of Jake. Asking you if you were really so desperate that youâd let just anyone see you acting the way you did. He plays off of that today too.Â
Waking up hard wasnât anything weird for Sunghoon, and usually the morning showers end up as morning sex sessions anyway. You seemed more willing and awake this morning than any other time, and heâs thankful for it.Â
When heâs got you pressed against the wall as the warm water runs down your back, he doesnât hesitate to plunge into you all the way with a comment of how much wetter you get when he degrades you. In a way, the punishment and degradation feels deserved, because you are embarrassed by how much you want to touch Jake.
âGetting off on the thought of other people seeing how wet you get for me?âÂ
You nod against the cold bathroom tiles, feeling his cock pressing deeply inside of you and making your legs feel weak. You do love when other people can see, but what you mean by that is you love when his little brother can see.Â
Jake, from across the hall, once again hears it all because it wakes him up. Sunghoon hasnât even attempted to keep his voice down while talking to you. Why? Because even he is far too turned on to pay attention to anything outside of this bathroom right now.Â
âGoing so far as letting Jake see? How desperate were you?âÂ
Jakeâs ears perk up at the sound of his brother saying that, already stirring in his pants at the very idea of you getting off to that.Â
How desperate were you?
 He wonders how you answer, or if you do. He wonders if you were desperate for him or if it was really for Sunghoon.
Without much more thought, Jake canât go another day with you here right now. Itâs becoming a bit too much, a bit too real, and honestly, he thinks heâs the desperate one right now. Wanting to barge into the bathroom, shove his brother away, and have his way with you. He could never. Youâd never let him go that far surely.Â
And by the time itâs all said and done, you leave the bathroom lightheaded and Jake appears to have left the house to do something else.
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The week passes normally up until Thursday night. Youâre rummaging through your cabinets for something to make for dinner when your phone goes off. Assuming itâs Sunghoon again, complaining that Friday never comes fast enough, youâre shocked to see that itâs Jake sending you something through instagram.Â
And heâs drunk.Â
SimJake_ sent a photo:Â
SimJake_: guess who got drunk on a thursday night and is regretting the fact that i wanna talk to you?Â
Never did you want a paper trail or some type of proof that you and Jake are involved in this weirdâŚ.thing together. His message isnât even sexual, it's just a bit intimate that your boyfriendâs brother is sending you selfies while drunk even though you came onto him first.Â
Heâs attractive, and entirely too cute right now trying to approach you via fucking Instagram because he wonât do it to your face. Then again, Sunghoon is always around, so maybe thatâs why he hasnât done anything about it.Â
You: let me guess, youâre the one drunk on a thursday night and will probably say some shit that will make you not be able to look me in the eye tomorrow?
SimJake_ : ding ding ding! whatâre you doing?Â
You: texting you and trying to find food, im hungry. what about you?
SimJake_ : bout to make another drink and pretend i donât have your panties under my pillow
SimJake_ : because i do
Wow, Jake is embarrassing and confident when heâs drunk. You find yourself smiling over it. Youâd never guess or even assume he would try to make conversation with you about that of all things.
You: oh yeah, youâre definitely drunk
SimJake_ : am i being too weird?Â
SimJake_: because youâre the one who started it
You: me? I started it? last time i checked, youâre the one who stole my panties?? you pervert????
SimJake_ : youâre the one who let me keep them
You: thatâsâŚâŚfair
SimJake_: soâŚÂ
Shy boy is no more at this moment and you almost feel caught off guard. Reminding yourself that heâs drunk, you try to set a boundary in your head and change the subject.
You: what are you drinking?
SimJake_ : found some of my brotherâs expensive whiskey, gonna tell him you drank it, he wont be mad then
You: youâre gonna tell him that I drank his whiskey, when he knows I donât even like whiskey?
SimJake_ : yep
You laugh at the audacity, finally finding a snack for yourself and settling on the couch with your phone in hand.Â
You: and youâre drinking on a weeknight again, why?
SimJake_ : because i want youÂ
Oh.
SimJake_ : and i know im not allowed to, but itâs really hard to like, not, i guess
SimJake_ : i know im being weird and im sorry, just really drunk rn and wanna talk to you thats all
SimJake_ : or we can pretend i never messaged you and you can delete the messages
You: no, i think youâre being cute. You can calm down, itâs okay
Itâs definitely not okay, but you want it to be. Youâre about to do some not okay things too, and cross those boundaries you literally just now set.
You: so, theyâre still under your pillow?Â
SimJake_: yea
You: when was the last time you didnât have them under there?
SimJake_ : yesterday
You: oh yeah?Â
SimJake_: yea i washed them when Sunghoon was at workâŚum
SimJake_: can you maybe wear them again
God, he really is that desperate.Â
SimJake_ : please? you can leave them in the laundry like last time and ill just grab them
You: iâll think about itÂ
SimJake_ : okayâŚsoâŚ
SimJake_: umâŚ.did you like the selfieÂ
You: i like seeing you in person more, itâs fun when youâre all flustered and stuff, trying to pretend you donât like it
Jake is giggling to himself like a schoolgirl, focusing on your messages and hoping to god he doesnât forget the things youâre saying to him. Heâs going to have to delete these messages as soon as itâs over though, for sure. At least heâs not drunk enough to forget the glaring issue at hand here.
SimJake_: i donât like it because i always have a boner now lol i feel gross always having to go to my room and take care of it so things dont get weird
You: maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?
SimJake_ : wait what
Youâre cheating. As if you havenât been already. This is blatantly against your moral code and you literally do not care.Â
You: are you all flustered now?
SimJake_ : maybe,,,,
You: would you want me to? instead of you having to always run off to your room where I canât see?Â
SimJake_ : youâre doing this on purpose, you wouldnât actually wanna
SimJake_ : would you?
You: guess youâll just have to find out eventually
You: flustered now?
SimJake_ : yea, wanna see?
SimJake_ sent a photo:Â
You:  jesus christ, youâreâŚ
You: bigâŚ. I mean, I knew from feeling it last weekend but like, that was my foot lol
SimJake_ : yeah what even was that about? i felt so stupid doing that
You: you looked hot when you did it tho
SimJake_ : am i really that big?Â
You: Jake,look at that thing. im shocked you donât already have a girl to bury it into yet.Â
SimJake_: could have one ;)Â
You: âŚ.yeah
SimJake_: yeah?Â
SimJake_Â sent a photo:Â
Okay, itâs getting to be too much now. You can feel the warmth pooling into your panties already and you wonder if he would be just as eager to lick it up as he is to text you right now. You spread your legs wide, deciding on if you should do it. Youâre already cheating, the guilt couldnât get any worse anyway.Â
You sent a photo:Â
SimJake_ : oh fuckÂ
SimJake_: youâre wet?
SimJake_: sorry i wasnt expecting that
SimJake_: can i save it
You: Â noÂ
You sent a photo:Â
SimJake_: you should give me those panties instead
You: okay, ill put them in the basket tomorrow nightÂ
SimJake_: will you still wear the other ones too?
You: you want //two// pairs?
SimJake_ : yeah :(Â
You: ill think about it
Jake is blushing, flushing, and shaking all at once, one hand on his cock and the other texting you. Heâs saved the photos anyway, boring holes into them with the thought of what must be behind that thin layer of sticky and wet fabric. He wants to put his face there, he wants to smell you and swallow you up.Â
SimJake_ : can i call you?
A sharp feeling of fear but an even bigger feeling of arousal hits you.Â
You: okayâŚ
You didnât have to wait long, watching the bubble of him typing something to you disappear and instead getting a phone call. You knew Jake had your number and you had his, mostly for communication purposes for Sunghoon. Never was this supposed to happen.Â
When you answer the phone after taking a deep breath, your eyes are nearly popping out of your head.Â
Jake is shameless.Â
All those nights of hearing his mans muffled through the wall are now coming through crisp and clear on the speaker. If you close your eyes, itâs like youâre in his room with him.Â
You donât speak and instead, listen. You had expected him to answer the phone stuttering, trying to dirty talk but ultimately failing. It appears his drunken state offers him more than just liquid courage, but liquid lust as well.
 For a moment you stop and contemplate hanging up. Jake is drunk and you canât help but feel as though youâre taking advantage of him. Then again, previously sober he basically fucked himself against your foot at the dinner table.Â
âFeels good?â You ask with a chuckle.
 You can hear the movement of his body through the speaker and youâre aware that through the lack of slapping sounds, your panties are probably silencing what his hand is doing.Â
Jake barely answers. A quick âmhmâ rings through your ears alongside his deep breaths as a response instead. This isnât typically how phone sex would go, considering dirty talking is what gets a person there. Perhaps Jake has never done this before, then again, maybe he gets off on just knowing youâre listening to him at all.
âCan youâtalk?â Jake asks weakly, his hand stilling for a moment to focus solely on the image he has pulled up over your phone call. He can barely comprehend that youâre on the other line and heâs looking at your pussy pressing against slick panties.
âI like hearing you do this,â You say quickly, not very good at this type of thing yourself despite knowing how it should usually go. You slowly start to trace your fingers against your panties, wondering if Jake would be gentle like this too, nervous even.Â
âYeah?â He asks with a small choked moan as he begins to move his hand again. âYouâre not weirded out?â
âIf I was weirded out I wouldnât have sent you photos.â You snap, frustrated suddenly with the whole situation that this is your boyfriendâs brother. âStop calling it weirdââ You trail off, listening intently to the shifting sounds you hear through the speaker.Â
âSunghoon isnât home right now,â Jake suddenly admits, and you can feel the arousal disappear almost instantly as you hear his name. The reality hitting you, but still not caring enough to stop.
âDonât talk about him right now, This isnât right butââ
âBut what?â Jake asks with a hopeful voice, this time pulling his hand away completely and feeling his heart double in speed.
âI canât stop thinking about you.â You let out, finally pressing your fingers beneath the lining of your panties. âI know itâs wrong.â
Like music to Jakeâs ears, he feels the eagerness in his body swell to the point that itâs difficult to maintain. Sunghoon has everything that Jake wants. A good career, a nice house, needed life skills. All of those things could be obtained with hard work and effort for Jake, but you. You were the one thing he was never supposed to have. You were the one aspect of Sunghoonâs life that Jake wouldnât have the ability to work his way towards, but he did.Â
He has you right now, in this moment, and he feels like nothing could break him. He knows itâs wrong just like you do, but Jake is selfish too.Â
He doesnât think you meant to feel this way, because he always sees the good in people, and if you were doing this with any other man he would definitely snitch on you if he found out. But youâre doing it with him and he doesnât feel an ounce of guilt at this moment. So what if he he wants to fuck his big brotherâs girlfriend? You reciprocate the fucking feeling.Â
A small part of Jakeâs brain is still anxious though. That little still-sober sliver of his moral code trying to fight its way to the front. Does he go with his heart or with his brain? Should he stop? Will he be able to look you in the eye tomorrow? Will he be able to ever look his brother in the eye?Â
He isnât sure. Both his heart and his brain tells him to go for you, the only thing telling him not to is the thought of his brother. The good news about that is, with you on the other end of this line, Sunghoon is pushed to the back of his mind.Â
âYou can have me, you know.â He almost whispers, staring down at his heavy cock resting against his belly, panties left dangling off the tip. âI wouldnât say no.â
Those are dangerous words. Words you know you shouldnât accept or be turned on by.Â
âI bet you wouldnâtââ You cut yourself off in a deep breath, pressing against your clit and rubbing harshly. Jake isnât even talking much, just offering himself on a fucking platter to you, and itâs driving your body to fucking yearn.Â
âOh, shit, are youââ Jake swallows hard, the reality that you might actually be touching yourself on the other line sending waves of heat down his body. He thought it was just him and only had the hopes that you wouldnât start making fun of him for it.Â
âOh, fuck.â He says, quickly moving his hand to grip against his cock again and already feeling too sensitive from the short moments of neglect. âWhere are your hands?âÂ
âIn my panties.â
Jake groans, dropping his phone by his ear on the pillow and using his other hand to grip something, anything as he opts to imagine your fingers sliding beneath the panties youâd shown him in the photo.
You can tell heâs holding his breath, focusing on feeling good in the way he releases short, quick groans every now and then. You keep yourself silent though, trying to hear him, trying to imagine what heâs doing while thinking of you.Â
The dripping mess between your legs is being spread by your fingers as you scissor your lips open easily, letting a small groan roll off your tongue for him to hear. Satisfied by his responsive deep breath and sigh, you finally plunge your fingers in.Â
âCan you hear it, Jake?â You ask in a breath, lowering the phone a bit so that he can hear your fingers slide in and out of you with a wet sound.Â
He chokes on his end at that, swiping the panties off of him to replace the feeling of fabric with the feeling of his closed fist. His precum smears beautifully, offering him the sensation that if he squeezes hard enough, he can imagine that heâs fucking into your warm and wet cunt. He can hear how wet you sound and itâs driving him up a fucking wall not being able to physically see you do it in front of him.Â
âThis is all I'm going to think about tomorrowâ��� He groans out, tightening his fist even more and bucking his hips into it. âYou sound so,â
âWet for you?â
Thatâs all it takes before Jake is gasping out a string of curses, the orgasm both sending him into a sobering world of pleasure and an even drunker state of wanting you to himself. Strings of white spurting all along his belly and going as far as his chin, he throws his other hand up and bites hard against the skin on his knuckle as he works through it.
 He doesnât want to moan through this, he wants to hear just how fast your fingers are moving, how fast youâd want him to fuck you. He wants to think about how you must be imagining him right now, feeling good and breaking the rules for him.Â
Finally, after an embarrassingly long orgasm from Jake, his room goes silent and his ears tune in to the speaker on his phone. Youâre cooing, letting out pretty little breaths between the smacking sounds of your palms coming into contact with your clit as you fuck yourself. He canât believe youâre doing this with him, and even after his own orgasm heâs still incredibly aroused despite his cock softening.Â
âYou still there?â You groan out. He can tell the phone is closer to what your hands are doing than it is to your face, but he doesnât mind.
âIâm still hereââ He swallows hard, catching his breath as he practically studies the audio youâre feeding to him.Â
âI bet that felt good,â You compliment his orgasm that was glaringly obvious on your end. You imagine he doesnât even recognize that his hand was audible against his cock, and the sheer speed you heard of what he was doing made your clenching walls ache with everything you shouldnât be wanting.âWish I could see you right nowââÂ
Jake did contemplate face timing you instead, but that was crossing more of a line in his head than just calling you. Plus, he would have probably hidden himself from view the entire time. Itâs not like he expected to actually have you fucking yourself on the other end of the line, but here you are, and here he is, cum all over him.Â
He snaps a quick photo for you, and in your head you whimper a small âyesâ at the sound of the shutter from his camera.Â
âSend it.â You demand softly, pulling your phone from your stomach and holding it in front of your face.Â
He does as you ask and feels embarrassed by the pools of cum all over his stomach. The photo consists mostly of his chest down. You can see his plush and bitten lips at the top of the photo though, and his quite big softening cock lying spent against his stomach, smearing some of the cum across his belly.Â
Jake listens to your reaction and hum of approval when you look at the photo, a small blush fanning his cheeks out of pure adoration for you rather than lust at this moment. He listens intently, unsure of if youâre going to work yourself to orgasm or hang up on him before he gets the chance to hear it.Â
The point is, Jake is getting a part of you that only Sunghoon should have, and he will be damned to pretend he doesnât like it.Â
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Waking up with an immense amount of guilt in your head, you almost bail at going to Sunghoonâs house this weekend. Youâve already called out of work simply because you find yourself thinking of Jake more than you should, and the guilt only wavers from you feeling like a piece of shit, to almost being a thought that you can push aside.Â
Sunghoon would kill Jake if he found out, and you, what would he even do with you? Break up with you? Insult you?Â
Still, the thought of him finding out is the only reason you feel guilty. Because you still donât regret showing Jake, letting him hear you, or hearing and seeing him. In fact, you donât intend to stop either. You want him too much at this point, and he seems to be in the same place as you when it comes to this situation. Jake wouldnât tell on you because then, he would be telling on himself.Â
After all, he only moved in with Sunghoon so he could taste freedom outside of his parentâs house. The strict curfews, the password protected websites despite him being a fucking adult, the supervision of his own money and belongings. Sunghoon knew the pain of living there, and thatâs why he accepted Jake with open arms.Â
Sunghoon was a good brother and an even better boyfriend. You and Jake on the other hand? Jakeâs an awful brother and youâre an even worse girlfriend. Sunghoon doesnât deserve any of this, and he doesnât deserve any of whatâs to come either. Youâre in too deep with Jake now though, and the glaring attraction is too strong to ignore.Â
Never in your life did you think you could find yourself being unfaithful, let alone with your own boyfriendâs sibling, yet here you are. Only guilty if you get caught.Â
Jake had texted you at least three thousand times with apologies throughout the night and morning. Admitting that his head hurt too much this morning to be realizing what the two of you did. He said he wouldnât approach you when you come over, apologized again, and then promised to never tell Sunghoon and to never hold it against you if you think heâs weird for doing all of that to you.
Reading over his string of messages, you realize that Jake is blaming himself. He feels like heâs taking advantage of you and wanting you to feel secure and safe in something you did without a second thought.Â
On his end though, Jake is in his room staring at the two photos you sent to him the night before. Partially wondering if it was all just a dream at first, these pictures of you are the truth of how you feel towards him though. At least last night, thatâs how it was. So, when you never text him back today? He doesnât think too hard about why despite his heart feeling shattered by it.Â
When you still show up at that day, he doesnât question that youâre not eye fucking him the second you walk in through the door either.Â
Jake was once again lounging on the couch when you walked in and Sunghoon was nowhere in sight. He hadnât texted you either. Awkwardly, Jake speaks up before you can question it.
âHe told me to let you know that he was gonna be late again. Said something about knowing youâd spam him with needy text messages while heâs in a last-minute work meeting.â
You look to the floor for a second, wondering if the real reason Sunghoon didnât text you personally like he always did is because he found out somehow.Â
âOh.â You sigh, slipping off your shoes and feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you.Â
âHe doesnât know, donât worryââ Jake assures you as he stands to his feet and heads towards his room. âSorry about last night, I won't do that again.â
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Youâve been slouched against Sunghoonâs couch for at least an hour by now and your mind is still doing a back and forth between taking advantage of this alone time with Jake, or worrying about how you shouldnât be left alone with him at all.
The glaringly obvious issue in your head right now is the fact that youâre alone with Jake and youâre not upset about it. Jake assured you that Sunghoon didnât find out, and the fact that Jake is the best source of finding out exactly what Sunghoon knows is more of a comfort than anything to you right now.Â
Thinking back to the night before, you remember releasing your orgasm on the phone and hearing him compliment you through it. You have the photo of him saved within your gallery, hidden from your too-trusting boyfriendâs eyes. It was the first time youâve ever seen Jakeâs lower half bare. He really is huge, and itâs a shame, really, that you want it so badly.
Itâs not even shocking to you at this point that you can feel guilty and anxious one moment and immediately switch into some sex-starved beast at the very thought of Jake.Â
âmaybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?â The text message you sent to him spreads across your thoughts, knowing full well that youâre probably going to get intimate with Sunghoon later, the least you can do is let Jake have some first if he wants it, right?Â
You cautiously stand to your feet with a deep breath. The fact that you allow yourself to continuously dig the hole deeper for yourself? So deep that youâll never be able to pull yourself from it? Itâs laughable at how tiny of a worry that is in your mind when you know that Jake is seething in his bedroom right now.
 Maybe it's just what Jake does to your thoughts? The images of him are too good to be able to ignore, the guilt not nearly enough to make you stop wanting him.Â
Sunghoon isnât in your mind when you reach into your bag and grab the soiled panties you had soaked completely the night before, and Sunghoon barely exists at all in your thoughts when you make your way down the hall and lean against Jakeâs closed door.Â
âI wouldnât say no.â was what Jake had messaged you before, guess now is the time to find out.Â
Opening his door without so much as a knock, Jake doesn't appear to notice you at all as his back stays turned and he focuses on the screen in front of him. The large headset is sitting comfortably on his ears and youâre sure that the volume is up far too loud to be healthy. You can hear his friendâs yelling directions, where enemies are hiding and where theyâre headed next.Â
You smirk for a moment, noting how much of a typical college boy Jake is. Messy room, messy hair, messy relationship with his brotherâs girlfriend. You can imagine he feels pride in what he was able to do with you, and thatâs not even an ego boost on your end.Â
You wonder if heâs told his friends anything at all. Not about who he likes or who heâs been getting intimate with even if not too-directly, but like, that heâs been getting fed sexual fantasies by someone in general. You wonder if he talks you up, then again, what if he hasnât mentioned it at all?Â
Why does that thought upset you?
âWhere were you last night anyway?â You hear over the too-loud headset as you come up behind Jake with the panties in your hand.Â
âBusy getting laid, unlike you losers.â Jake boasts, but you snicker at how heâs both lying and telling the truth.
âBullshitââ You hear another insult coming through his headset before you finally are right behind him.Â
Part of you wants to prove him right so his friends think heâs cool or something, but then again, what if they recognize your voice? Surely these are his friends from back home, some two to three hours from this city. Surely they donât know you, right?
âNo, really.â You lean down against Jakeâs headset and speak in a tone that isnât too common for you and he freezes.Â
âNow, hold onââ A voice sounds through his headset and you canât help but feel happy for him in the way they, for some reason, canât believe Jakeâs got some girl in this city interested in him.Â
When Jake tries to turn his body to look at you, you hold the chair in place. Knowing yourself how headsets work, you lift his mic until it clicks, hoping to god the mute function works like itâs supposed to and start talking.
âDonât move, keep playing if you want.â You say, dangling the panties over his head and lowering them in front of his face.
More arousing than gross, you watch Jakeâs face fall forward against them. Part of him canât believe youâre really doing this right now despite leaving his messages on read. But you are, and these are the panties that he thought about all last night and most of today. He really meant it when he said that would be the only thing he would be thinking about, and here you are, keeping the promise of giving them to him.
Reaching up and clutching the panties, Jake tries to turn towards you again.Â
âStay,â You say. âAnd hush.â You lower his mic back into place where he is no longer muted and listen as his friends go from talking shit to starting up another game.Â
From behind his chair, youâre a little shocked at how good he is at following what you say. He doesnât move, but you can hear his breathing and the way he struggles to balance it in order to remain some-what normal sounding to his friends when they address him. His fingers are shaking against his keyboard as the game starts, and you think heâs probably thought about this happening to him hundreds of times before.Â
Maybe not with you, but still.Â
Gamer boys always want this kind of thing. Some girl prodding and tugging at them, sucking them off under the table as they boast to their friends how they can be getting head and still getting gold damage by the time the match is over.Â
All you can think about right now is being the person to fulfill the fantasies you assume he has. More turned on by the idea that Jake must want it so badly from you than admitting how badly you want it to be true.Â
 When you reach around him, lying your hand against his lap, heâs already incredibly hard and stares down at it as the countdown screen on his game begins.Â
From out of sight, you donât want Jake to see you. In fact, you want to see how badly he plates this game through this, because itâs not only cute but will actually be fucking hilarious. Especially because itâs the first time youâre moving on him rather than him grinding against whatever you have to offer.
Ignoring the call outs of enemies in game, both of you spiral into a world of your own again when you grab his length from over his sweatpants and justâyou just hold him for a moment. The weight of it grows much heavier as he somehow manages to get more hard at the fact that youâre in the room with him. Plus, for Jake at least, your used panties sitting right there only drives his cock further to pulse and beg for your hand.Â
âJesusââ Jake groans when you grab him.
âJesus is right, you havenât moved from that fucking building you cuck-â Some guy shouts from his head set.
âShut the fuck up Heeseung, youâre literally in bronze.â Another man shouts.
Jake is silent save for a sharp inhale when you squeeze your palm around him. He knows if he even tries to talk shit right now all of his friends would just fucking know how desperate and embarrassing he is around you. Thatâs the last thing he needs.
Finally, after a few moments of palming him through his pants, you dip right in. He doesnât shy away from it either, spreading his legs from under his desk and lifting his ass up slightly so you can pull the pants down to let his cock spring free.Â
You silently gasp noting how Jake is even bigger than the photos gave him credit for, thicker than you genuinely imagined now that you see it from over his shoulder. Jake tries to turn his head this time to look at you, but youâre quick to catch his cheek and turn it back to the screen with a chuckle.Â
Gripping him again, Jake sighs into his mic and his friendâs screaming goes silent. Youâre quick to lift his mic into the muted position just to offer some sort of escape from embarrassment now seeing that heâs incredibly willing to let you do this while his ego is on the line.
âYou want them to hear?â You ask, feeling his hips slightly buck into your grip. That sends shivers down your spine, finally feeling it for the first time.
âI donât careââ He sighs desperately, thrusting his hips up harder. âPlease, just donât stop.â
The way he says it, for some reason, sounds so fucking broken that you could honestly swirl this chair around and impale yourself on him without so much as a second thought. But you contain yourself, now moving your grip up his length and thumbing over the head to feel the sheer amount of pre-cum spilling out of him
âAlright, Jakey.â You soothe, lowering his mic for the last time and wondering just how much heâs going to let his shithead friends hear.
For a few moments, you gently jerk him off just to see his hips chase your fist. Heâs needy in the way he moves his body but very fucking good at acting as you start to count each kill he manages to get through this.Â
By the time you hear his friends praise him, you feel a little competitive yourself. Shy, needy, desperate little Jake thinks he can get through a game the very first time you actually touch him? Perhaps he thinks he is giving you what you want, but what you want is to see him fall apart.Â
You move your hand faster, watching him from behind as he chokes up and slams his head against the headrest of his chair, nearly knocking the headphones off of him.Â
âGod,â Jake moans, knowing full well that his friends wouldnât suspect anything if he says such a thing.Â
You know that was for you though, so you continue. The rhythm of your hand moving from a slow drag to something painfully fast and unfathomably good. Jakeâs head is spinning, thrusting his hips up and gripping his computer mouse so tightly that he thinks he could crush it in his grip.Â
When his pre-cum is essentially drenching your palm, the slide of your hand keeps a fast pace, pulling groans out of him every few seconds.Â
Jake canât hold himself back anymore, slamming his head against the headrest of his seat yet again, this time his headset sliding off of his head and falls into the floor. He lols his head from side to side as he finally lets out a full-throated moan, shooting a hand to your wrist and holding it in place so that he can fuck up into it.Â
You gasp at that, his grip harsh and far less gentle than youâd expect. The muffled screams of his friends are blatantly obvious and you canât bring yourself to care if the mic muted itself during its descent to the floor or not.Â
Heâs choking each moan that threatens to be too loud, and honestly, you can tell he doesnât know what to do with himself. He goes from releasing your hand just to stare down at the way you grip him, to grabbing it again and fucking into it harder.Â
Itâs way too endearing seeing him like this.Â
He tries to turn to see you again shortly after, so desperate to kiss you, so desperate just to fucking see what you like like when youâre doing this to him, but you do your best to remain behind him as you grab the base of his cock and cause him to groan in pain.
âLet me see youââ He nearly sobs in a frustrated way, and for a moment you contemplate letting him.Â
âLet me hear you.â You respond, keeping that same, painfully tight, grip against him and dragging it up to his head, enveloping it and sending sensitive shocks throughout his body.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck.â Jake writhes under the painful grasp, but his hips still chase when you drag your hand back down.Â
Heâs no longer being quiet, no longer pretending to care about his dead character on the screen, re-spawning and dying every few seconds. Heâs a free kill for any enemy player right now and you can tell his friendâs are pissed in the way the screaming from the headset gets louder despite the distance.Â
The chat box on screen is being spammed just as aggressively, and Jake can barely even open his eyes to process it.Â
âYou were playing so well,â You coo out, shifting forward a bit and placing your chin on his shoulder. âWhat happened, Jakey?âÂ
He softly moans at the nickname youâve now used more than once, eyes half open as he glances down at how fast your hand is moving compared to your soft, balanced voice against his ear. He turns his head quickly, trying to catch you off guard, but you pull away.
âWanna see me so bad, huh?â You chuckle, working him up and knowing that heâs got to be close with the way he shamelessly moans in the most annoyed, frustrated way.Â
âLet me kiss you.â He grunts, bucking his hips aggressively, now chasing in full that painful grip youâre keeping against him so well. âIâll keep my eyes closed, please.â
You contemplate again giving him what he wants, but you figure heâs already getting more than enough.Â
âOh? Youâll keep your eyes closed? Donât you want to look at me?âÂ
Jake is desperate now, hands moving to the armrests of his chair as he grips them hard, hips wildly stuttering in your grasp.Â
âFuck, yes.â He lets out, dropping his head with a deep breath and then throwing his head back with an even longer moan.Â
You canât tell if that was him answering you, or simply reacting to what his body is feeling, and you donât really care. Heâs already there, walking on the thin line of orgasm and willing to take whatever it is you give him. He no longer wants anything, heâs just experiencing.Â
You watch him from behind very closely, the shiver running from his toes straight to his ears was obvious enough.
âThatâs it,â You whisper from behind. âGive it to me.â
Jakeâs entire body tenses against the chair, you can feel it stress from the way his legs spread wider and his hips go from quick thrusts to short, drawn-out drags against your palm. The image of him doing that between your legs washes over every single one of your thoughts. He would do that. Burying himself so deeply as he spills out inside of you, thrusting in and slowly dragging his hips out, just to thrust in again to push his seed impossibly deeper.
âThatâs so hot,â Jake comments with a deep breath, and only then do you realize the small moan youâd let out during that intense thought of him. Especially as you watch his cum is spill out in loads, leaving a mess all over himself and your hands.
Finally, after making a mess of him, you smile to yourself and do your best to appear not as flustered as you actually are.
Either way, a job well done.Â
You opt to make a grand exit, saying nothing after releasing his cock and sauntering out of the room in silence to leave him to his thoughts. You could still hear his friends screaming through the microphone, and he doesnât even call out after you. Jake must feel on top of the world right now, because you know that you do.
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Sunghoon comes home later than he did last time, tired and droopy. He finds himself drawn to you more than usual, noting that your eyes are sparkling a little brighter upon walking through his door.Â
You put Jake in the back of your head much like you always tried to do when Sunghoon is around you these days. Your love for your boyfriend is still blatant and honest when youâre next to him, not at all feeling pity for Jake having to see it. Jake should know who it is you love, despite the fact that you jerked him off mere hours ago.
When Sunghoon is next to you, when his arm is around you and his eyes are on you, you donât question for a second that everything youâve been doing behind his back will come back on you, and itâll be well-deserved pain. But thereâs still a part of you that hopes you can keep Sunghoon forever and always be happy beside him. Youâre actively betraying him, his own flesh and blood is helping you dig this hole deeper and deeper. So deep that Sunghoon canât even see the bottom where Jakeâs got his hands on you.Â
Fully intending to keep them both, you find yourself feeling more fulfilled despite the awful moral. Sunghoon isnât willing to share, but Jake is.Â
And you, you donât have to share.
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Saturday was as normal as always. Jake pops in and out of his room, not even once acting as if something suspicious is going on. If anything, Sunghoon is a little more happy to see you spend time with Jake when heâs not in his room.
 It was awkward at first. Jakeâs always been shy but it seems like heâs loosened up after realizing youâre a permanent part of the picture for as long as youâre with Sunghoon. Heâs endeared by the way you bully his brother the same way he does.Â
Even that little crush Jake had on you when he first met you appears to have fallen into more of a sibling-like relationship to Sunghoon. He thought it was cute that Jake had a crush, after all, itâs you. Sunghoon fucking fell head over heels when you gave him attention and wouldnât be caught dead releasing his grip on you once he asked you to be his girlfriend. The point is, Sunghoon knew Jake had a small crush but was pleased to see it turn into something more casual and comfortable.
 He likes his life, loves his girlfriend, and loves his brother. Nothing could get better than spending time with the two of you, even if Jake jumps up to go be a recluse in his room from time to time.
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âJake,â Heeseung grits through the mic.Â
âWhat?â Jake sighs nonchalantly, throwing his arms behind his head as he smiles to himself through the webcam.
âYou should be embarrassed.â Heeseung argues. âWe didnât wanna hear that shit.â
âI muted him.â Jay says with a shrug through his own camera..Â
âYeah, me too.â Jungwon follows up, all eyes now falling to Heeseung, who is avoiding the camera and scratching the back of his neck with a shrug.
âI was in a tight situation! I couldnât tab out.â Heeseung defends himself easily, still a darker shade than usual.
âI think she wanted you guys to hear.â Jake laughs quietly, whispering.Â
âWhy are you whispering?â Jay asks, leaning forward towards his camera as if Jake was about to whisper out again, this time with a deeper secret.Â
Instead, Jake shifts his eyes and changes the subject. As much as he would love to tell his friends that heâs managed to get a handjob (not the foot thing) from his brotherâs girlfriend, heâs sure theyâd have a little more respect for him. But it feels like a betrayal to say it out loud, regardless of how hot the idea is in his head.
âBecause my brother is with his girlfriend and itâs weird if they know what happens when theyâre not here.â Jake explains, receiving a nod from everyone.
âShe left her panties,â Jake now adds in a cheeky voice, removing his hands from behind his head and sitting up from his relaxed position. âWanna see?â
Heeseung was, obviously, the first to nod his head and Jake didnât really need the others to agree anyway, because theyâre a group of college guys who are always either talking about getting laid or how to raise their rank when playing competitive games.
âDamn,â Jay laughs as he sees the thin fabric come into view. âAre they dirty?âÂ
âOh yeah,â Jake boasts, spreading out the fabric and bringing them close to the camera.Â
âThatâs so gross.â Heeseung waves them off, averting his eyes and trying to pretend heâs not interested.
âJakeâs full of shit.â Jungwon chimes in quickly, only to be shut down by Heeseungâs weird need to defend.
âYou heard her talk to him through the mic, thereâs no way heâs lying.âÂ
âUh, no I didnât. I had him muted the second I saw his hero standing in the middle of the map without moving.â Jay argues back.
âWell, I lied, I didnât mute him.â Jungwon finally admits. âStill, though. Thereâs no way she gave you those.â
Jake canât stop smiling. The fact that he can barely believe what happened himself is enough not to argue. Theyâre your panties, thatâs your scent in them, and that was your hand wrapped around him yesterday.Â
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Waking up on Sunday felt, again, normal. You hadnât heard Jake through the walls the night before but Sunghoon sure did. He mostly drowned out the sounds by putting in his headphones though, unlike what you would have done. Sunghoon did, however, wake up hard considering the two of you passed out the night before without so much as a lingering hand.
To his dismay, you groan at his roaming hands as he wakes you up. Sunghoon knows you love being woken up this way, but he also knows to stop if youâre making a sound like this over it.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â He says, pulling his hand back and instead, placing it on your waist so that he can pull you closer and into a cuddle.Â
You donât respond, cracking an eye open and immediately feeling your head pound at the sunlight shining through the windows. You feel bad that since thursday, the only intimacy youâve had has been with Jake despite being in love with the man against you. Honestly, if it werenât for the fact that you immediately, physically, feel like shit this morning, youâd be jumping Sunghoonâs bones.Â
âHead is pounding.âÂ
âAh,â Sunghoon smiles, hugging you against him and rubbing circles against your skin with his thumb. âItâs okay, you can sleep in. Iâm gonna go make some breakfast.â
Your boyfriendâs good mood doesnât go unnoticed, nor does your headache. You take him up on that offer and immediately fall back to sleep.
Later, you wake to Sunghoon gently patting your cheek.Â
âYou want some food? Might help?âÂ
You nod, squinting your eyes and sitting up a little too quickly. You glance around as he turns away and heads back towards the kitchen, and then you stretch your arms out. Things feel too fucking normal for you to be doing what youâve been doing. This headache is well fucking deserved, surely.Â
Making your way into the kitchen, you note that Jakeâs bedroom door is open but he isnât anywhere to be found.
âWhereâs Jake?â You ask casually, sitting down at the table and rubbing your temples.
âSaid something about one of his friends coming to a city nearby and wanting to go hang out with him. Probably Heeseung.âÂ
Your heart starts beating in your ears at the thought that you really thought Sunghoon wouldnât know any of Jakeâs friends. Sure, you thought that maybe they were just online friends, or maybe people Jake met after Sunghoon moved out of his parentâs house, but you recognize that fucking name.Â
Thankfully, you had changed your voice just slightly as you spoke to Jake the other day. Surely this isnât what would ruin the entire arrangement.
âAh,â You groan. âFinally we have the house to ourselves and I have to wake up with a migraine? What lousy luck.âÂ
âItâs okay, really.â Sunghoon smiles, sitting a plate of food down in front of you. âBesides, we both know you like the thrill of needing to be quiet.âÂ
Heâs joking, you know he is, but it was the truth before this whole thing with Jake started.Â
âIf we really wanted to be alone, I'd be at your apartment every weekend.âYour boyfriend adds, planting a kiss to the top of your head and heading towards the medicine cabinet. âLittle weird that it has to be my brother that we are keeping quiet from, but whatever.â
âDidnât know iâd be this into it, honestly.â You admit, feeling open enough to at least tell him that youâre very into the idea of someone hearing you. You just won't admit that you want it to be Jake.
âI mean, I personally am not into this type of thing. Itâs a little uncomfortable for me.â Sunghoon sits down and hands you two painkillers. âBut I doubt heâs actually listening. I apologized after the first time and he said he usually just puts in headphones and goes to sleep.â
You hold back the smile of Jakeâs blatant lies towards Sunghoon.Â
âSo, I guess I donât entirely mind feeding into your little fantasies of being heard, or caught, or whatever.â
Your boyfriend waves off the conversation with a smile, ultimately willing the fact that it is weird to him out of his head. If that was a new thing you realized you liked, the only way you would have found out is by having someone else in the house when the two of you do those things. Unfortunately, Jakeâs the reason.Â
 In Sunghoonâs head, heâs mature enough to discuss it like an adult with his brother. Guidelines and rules, moving Jake in wasnât going to change his sex life with you, if anything, he had already told Jake to invest in some decent headphones or earplugs because heâs gonna hear some shit otherwise.
You allow the conversation to die as you work up an appetite. Thankfully Sunghoon is an amazing cook, though he only did it one or two nights a week considering how spent his job makes him feel. Youâre thankful he cooked this morning, and even more thankful for these two little pills that will hopefully knock your headache out within the hour.
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Come Monday, youâre thankful you get to work from home. You sleep in and try your best not to think about the fact that Sunghoon knows the friends that heard you be intimate with Jake. Youâre even more thankful for this week away from your boyfriendâs house because, even though youâve processed everything, you feel like you should probably be alone for a while and really think about what youâre doing.
When Jake is around or texting you, itâs hard to think straight because you genuinely want him so fucking bad. And when Sunghoon is beside you, or texting you, all you can do is imagine a future with him.
The once bright, clear future of Sunghoon in a tuxedo standing in front of you at some extravagant altar becomes a little more foggy at the thought of where Jake would fit into it. Would he be behind Sunghoon, watching him marry you to start a real life together? Would he be somewhere in the crowd, waiting to object and expose you for the awful girlfriend you are? Or even worse, would he not be there at all? Running away and disappearing never to insert himself into your life or his brotherâs life ever again?
You donât want to think about the future right now. Everything youâve been doing has been so selfish and so fucking fulfilling that you canât bring yourself to feel any amount of pity for Sunghoon and the way he trusts you fully. You never once gave him a reason to not trust you, and you think maybe Jake hasnât given him a reason either.Â
But god, he shouldnât trust either of you at all. Heâs at work, making money, living his life with a supposed loving girlfriend all while offering his little brother an ounce of freedom. What does he get in response to his hard work and kindness? His brother wanting to tongue fuck his girlfriend? And worse yet, his girlfriend wants it even more than his brother does?Â
Your mind is burning through scenarios all day if you have it in you to feel bad. Another scenario involves you, married to Sunghoon and sneaking Jake out of your bed when Sunghoon returns from work. Even more scenarios of Sunghoon finding out and hating you forever, leaving you and meeting someone better. How could you have them both and keep it going? Is something like that even possible?
Then you get a text.The glaring reality blows right past your head when youâre expecting it to be Jake but you see Sunghoonâs name on the screen. You still feel just as excited though.Â
Sunghoon: good news and great news
You: oh?Â
Sunghoon: Good news: a co-worker has family issues and had to drop out of the business trip coming up.
You were about to question why thatâs good news, but then Sunghoon quickly texts again.
Sunghoon: great news: i am now being asked to attend the event and it could get me a pretty big promotion.Â
You: Youâre gonna go right?? When is it?
Honestly, the way your heart swells at your boyfriend moving up in the world could knock anyone on their feet. No one would ever guess what you do behind his back, because again, you havenât lost an ounce of love for this man and you probably never will.
Sunghoon: I leave tomorrow if I accept.
You: how long is it? do you need help packing since itâs such short notice?
Sunghoon: only three days, so iâd be back on friday and still get to see you this weekend
You: itâs a win/win! i can come over tonight since iâm working from home today.
Sunghoon: you good to sleep over and drop me off in the morning at the airport? i can give them an answer now so they can work out the transport and get the tickets transferred to me.Â
You: you didnât need to even ask!! you should have immediately said yes! Iâll be over tonight, iâm proud of you babe!Â
Sunghoon: love you :)Â
And so there it is. The glaring issue about to become a blatant, full blown affair. And like, you donât want to get it twisted. You are so fucking proud of Sunghoon and so fucking glad that everything in his life appears to be rushing him straight to major success, but also, heâs going to be gone for three days and thatâs three days to try and get over this whole Jake phase. By using Jake. By fucking him, specifically.
It doesnât help that just a few moments later, presumably after Sunghoon lets Jake know the plan, Jake is texting you.
Jake: Sunghoonâs leaving for 3 days
You: yepÂ
Jake: âŚ.do i even need to say it
You: nope
Jake: gonna clean my room
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Dropping Sunghoon off is weirdly bitter sweet. His confidence is clearly through the roof as he kisses you goodbye. Even after he walks away, he quickly rushes back to you and asks for a second kiss, citing itâs for good luck. You knew heâd do amazing for this event, even with it so last minute. Everything Sunghoon did was with effort and thought put into it. Youâre not the only person who sees it either.Â
That was the sweet part anyway. The bitter part is the guilt finally coming to you like it should have weeks ago. The fact that Sunghoon is walking off to get on an airplane and Jake is at home cleaning his room to fuck you in it? Itâs obvious that you donât deserve either of them.Â
Still, the guilt hitting you now is unnerving. It took so long to come, and only consumes you when Sunghoon isnât around to nearly witness the infidelity? Shaking yourself of disgust, you head out of the airport and still find yourself pulling into Sunghoonâs driveway against your better judgement.Â
You sit in your car for a moment, thinking back on all of those small moments with Jake, wondering now if you still want him or if those moments were enough to satisfy the curiosity of what could be.Â
As expected, with a huff, you accept the fact that even through the guilt, you still want him.
Stepping out of your car and walking up to the door felt too unfamiliar and nerve wracking, especially with the fact that you can hear your heart skip beats and your body melt away into the hole you fucking dug for yourself. However, the moment Jake opens the door and looks at you, before you can even unlock it yourself, every single guilt ridden thought disappears.Â
You donât know what it is about him, and surely youâve never felt this way before, because goddamn is it a blinding kind of feeling. Thinking back as you look at him, he seems different now despite having the same face and body language.
 Before, Jake was cute with his little crush. Weird even, with the way he lingered for too long to see you kiss his brother. Now, when you look at him, he looks like he isnât at all the cute, shy little brother. Heâs Jake, a man with wants and needs that have your name written all over them. You canât fucking help yourself, and now being able to indulge yourself fully along side him, Sunghoon is drowned out in the back of your mind, as usual when you find yourself alone with Jake.Â
Jake is still shy and timid in the way he moves but he knows just as well as you do whatâs about to happen and isnât at all shying away from the fact that heâs about to fulfill every dirty little thought heâs had about you since he met you. Hell, since he saw photos of you that Sunghoon sent before he ever met you.
On cloud nine, Jake is timid when he, for the first time, makes a move on you himself. Itâs shocking that he does it at all if youâre being honest, but you lean into him on instinct. All he does is grab your hand, a touch that wouldnât raise suspicions at all in Sunghoon if he were to see it, but to you itâs the most intimate thing he could do at this moment. Because heâs leading you, and his eyes are hungry and unable to pull from you.Â
Not a single word is said, everything already spoken and understood with nothing more than the look when he opened that fucking door. Jake leads you to his room, and the energy in the air is so electrifying that it scares you. Never has a touch to your hand, or a leading pull to a bedroom made you feel so weightless.Â
You think back to when you held his length in your hand, you had all of the power that day. Now, you donât think Jake realizes what he could get away with. Youâre falling into the same mindset you have with Sunghoon, one where you want, need, and could beg to be touched, but you still yourself from falling too far into it.Â
Jake is even more gentle when he lets your hand go and turns towards you with a deep sigh, as if heâs preparing his entire being for whatâs coming. Both of you like a deer in headlights, as if this wasnât intentional or planned, you smile at him.Â
Jake lets out a nervous laugh at your smile, shaking his head and looking down. Heâs already stiff beneath his pants, which are conveniently unbuttoned and unzipped already. Even you, shamelessly wearing a dress with no panties. Sunghoon thought it was for him, and he damn well did fuck you this morning while on a confident-high before you took him to the airport.
You knew Jake could hear it, and he didnât appear to care because in all fairness, Jake did not give a damn. He knew you werenât his at that moment, but you fucking would be before the night is up. The next three days, youâre his. Even if he never has you again.
That deer-in-the-headlights look from Jake fades as his eyes take you in without hiding it for the first time. You imagine he will fall apart if he were to trace his hands under your dress and find that you are completely bare, you imagine you would fall apart much faster if he touched you at all.
It happens so fast. Too fast, almost, with the way he steps up to you confidently. You just now realize that heâs taller than you when he skews his head and looks down at your lips. Well, you knew he was taller than you, but at this moment he seems so much bigger than usual.Â
 His breathing is uneven as he stares at your lips and you can tell heâs doing his best to be confident because you havenât made a move towards him at all like you usually would.Â
Looking up at him, you want to reach up and grip his hair. His lips are so plush, clearly freshly coated with chapstick. His skin is practically glowing save for the few blemishes that the fringe on his forehead covers, you find yourself wondering if heâs taking this moment to study you too.
âIâm having a really hard time holding back,â Jake whispers out, inches from your face. âThis is going to be embarrassing for me.â
âDonât hold back.â You encourage him without doubt, hoping that he can break past that last little boundary the two of you havenât crossed yet. The one where he can kiss you, touch you, have you. Only because you canât bring yourself to do it at this moment, for some reason.
The feeling of his lips touching yours is more bruising than you think he intended them to be, but the desperate feeling was all the same as your own, you think. Never have you actually stopped to think of kissing him or how he would go about it. Like running in blind, youâre learning that Jake knows what to do with his tongue, how to pace himself despite not wanting to, and how to reach up and hold your face in such a way that you feel like this could very well be a dream.
A perfect dream.Â
His hands are cupping your face though, you can feel the way his fingertips press into your cheeks as he makes his attempts to deepen the kiss. And fuck, heâs kissing you like youâre his girlfriend. He still moves his lips in a hungry and desperate way though, in a way that has you struggling to breathe by the force of it alone.Â
When his hands drop from your face and fall to your waist, every new place he touches feels like itâs set ablaze. You press forward against his chest, walking him back as you lick into to kiss, all the way until he falls back on his bed with a happy and dazed âoofâ sound.Â
Still, his face is slack as he stares up at you, eyes struggling to stay trained on your face for too long as you begin to take off your jacket and reach over to pull at his shirt. So badly do you want to see him shirtless again, and he doesnât argue, eagerly lifting it off of his body and lying back again.Â
Now that the initial intimacy has been established, you finally come back to yourself, thinking more clearly and finding a small list in your head of things you want and need to do for him. Starting with letting him really look at you.
âI know how much you like my pantiesââ You smile, standing in front of him and trying to keep your eyes averted from his length threatening to break through his pants.Â
âYes, god, let me see it.â Jake urges you, tilting his head with a swallow and training his eyes on your thighs.Â
He thinks you must be wearing the prettiest pair today, for him, not for his brother. But when you lift your leg and straddle him, his face contorts to confusion and then to pleasure when you sit against his cock. Of course, with the fabric covering his length, he still canât tell that youâre not actually wearing any panties at all.
âYou wanna see?â You ask for his clarification, bunching your dress up in your hands and preparing to lift it so he can see your bare folds sitting against him.Â
Jake blinks at you, nodding his head and nibbling on his bottom lip. Heâs doing everything in his power not to reach up and grab your waist just to guide you on him. Heâs afraid to move too fast, heâs afraid to embarrass himself with how fucking desperate he is for you right now.
âLook.â You say, nodding between your legs and lifting your dress.
âOh god,â Jake gasps as his eyes focus on the fact that youâre leaving a small wet spot against his pants.Â
Thatâs your pussy on him.Â
Without a second thought his hands are on your waist, pushing and pulling you forward and backwards on his lap. You blink hard at the sensation of the fabric rubbing against your lips harshly, and then open your eyes to look at him again.
He is still staring between your legs, almost losing himself to this alone. Then again, itâs the first time heâs ever seen you bare and he cannot get past the fact that Sunghoon gets to see it whenever he fucking wants to.Â
âI can feel itââ Jake chokes back in a happy groan, referring to your slick seeping through his pants and onto him.Â
You smile at him, now moving your hips on your own as you pull his hands away and push them to lay above his head. If he thinks this is good, you want to see how fast he reaches for you again.
Itâs so easy when you lift yourself up, and incredibly cute in the way his eyes follow your pussy when you lift. He doesnât even realize that you shove his sweats down and sit right back down, this time coating him in full with your slippery folds.Â
âGod, fuck,â He moans in disbelief, and just as expected his hands shoot to your waist and hold you down against him. Youâre not sure if itâs intentional or not, but heâs incredibly sexy in the way he moves without thinking.Â
âFuck?â You question cutely, forcing your hips to slide up his length despite him trying to hold you there.Â
âHow are you already so wet?â He questions in a groan, still trying to process the fact that this is actually happening. His grip on you loosens, letting you move and instead grabbing the hem of your dress himself and holding it up so he can watch you slide against him better.Â
âHow are you so big?â You try to compliment back, feeling him between your folds and wondering just how deep he could fuck you if he so wanted to. âSo, so big.â You groan out this time, feeling the head of his cock bumping against your clit every few seconds.
Jake obviously doesnât answer, his fingers are gripping your dress so tightly and his eyes are burning the image of you doing this into his head. He never wants to forget this moment of feeling you against him for probably the first and last time, because in all realness, this canât happen again if he thinks too hard about it.Â
âI want to fuck you so bad,â He admits suddenly, out of breath. âJust this once, please.âÂ
You nod cutely, swiping his hands away from your dress and lifting it off of you in full. His eyes are now glued to your tits and whatever it was he was saying is long forgotten as he watches them jiggle when you slide up against him again.
The way he shuts up is entirely too arousing. You can see him thinking about you, practically able to see him process every part of your body on top of him.Â
âTake your pants off, Jakey.â You finally say, frustrated that clothing always gets in the way of things.Â
He does as heâs told when you stand to your feet in wait, and instantly heâs lifting himself and grabbing you, pulling you right back on him.Â
âYouâre so fucking hot,â Jake whines, pushing your hips against him and keeping himself upright so that your tits are pressed right up against his own, careful not to fall back against the mattress so he can plant his lips against your neck. âOh my god, you have no idea.â
You feel a bite and pull back from him, hips stilling in short panic.
âDonâtââ You scold him, and he simply nods and goes back to kissing against your neck and shoulder, because if thatâs the only thing he canât do in this situation, heâd be a damn idiot to argue with you about it.
âRight, wouldnât want him knowing that I got you this wet, right?â Jake mocks the situation as a whole as his confidence blooms, using reality as a form of ego boost, hoping to god that you lean into it rather than run from it. âHeâd know I do it better.â
It makes you a little angry, but you get it. Jakeâs confidence must be through the roof because never would you have imagined him speaking to you like this, or mentioning his brother at all at a time like this.Â
âProve it and maybe Iâll play along.â You try to challenge him, but you know that he might actually be right.Â
His size rivals his brotherâs, but can he work it the same way? Can the shy, timid little brother actually satisfy you the way your boyfriend does?
Jake pulls back from kissing your neck only for a moment, moving to your lips and wincing at the feeling of your folds sliding against him still, maybe he did get a little too cocky there.Â
âProve it?â He breathes against your lips, gripping your waist tighter and guiding you up.Â
You already know what heâs doing and donât shy away from it. Usually thereâs foreplay, and youâre sure he wanted to do more than just fuck you, but too little too late. Youâre hungry for it and so is he, if the sounds between you are enough to go by.Â
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lift yourself and allow his hand to disappear between the two of you. You can feel him position himself right at your entrance and all you need to do is sink down.Â
You lend a pause, staring at him for a moment. Looking straight into his eyes and recognizing that for the first time in over two years now, youâre about to fuck someone that isnât Sunghoon.Â
He stares back at you with anticipation, and when you sink down just a tiny bit, heâs lunging his lips forward and kissing you again so desperately that any doubt in your mind withers away with all that guilt you know you shouldnât be ignoring.Â
Continuously as you sink down inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out in a searing type of pleasure, Jake just groans into your mouth with wet kisses. You can feel his chest heave against you as he feels your walls start to envelop him and when youâre finally seated, he pulls you down with him as he falls against the mattress.
There, in a hug, his mindless kissing becomes even more vacant as he holds you in place, fucking his hips up and into you in an aggressive pace without giving you any time to adjust. His lips release from yours and his moans come out strangled, breathless, and entirely desperate for you.
Heâs deeper inside of you than any man has ever been able to reach without the aid of a toy, and the head and thickness of it is far better than any plastic could ever be. You imagine you sound just as desperate as he does right now. Unable to wiggle in his grasp, you just take it. You were well versed in that, at least.
Jake holds you there for at least a full minute, feeling you clenching and drenching his cock in a way that makes the slide easy and pleasurable for him. His hips can move much faster this way, but the fear of cumming too quickly forces him to slow his movements and open his eyes in a breathy moan.
Your legs are spread out over his own, his cock is buried into you completely, and you fucking just take it? God, No wonder Sunghoon is in love with you.Â
Jake looks at you lovingly, wishing so badly that his brother wasnât in the way of having this all the time. And then? his arms release you and heâs lifting your face with one of his hands, thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin.Â
Jakeâs arms release you from the hug and he uses one hand to lift your face.
âSorry, I justââ He says before getting a look at your face. Glancing between both of your empty eyes, he ends up losing any thought in his head when he notes how blown your pupils are, face still contorted in a silent moan as you start to grind yourself against him. Chasing the pressure he was just slamming into you.Â
What he was gonna say was that he was sorry he lost control for a second, but what he ends up saying now is âFuck, I want this so bad.âÂ
Despite that Jake is getting everything he wants at this moment, all he can do is look at you and watch you grind your clit against his pelvic bone, chasing a pleasure that he knows youâre feeling intensely right now. He thinks of himself in pity, all those nights of wanting exactly this and never knowing that he actually fucking gets to do it.
Without thinking, Jake doesnât even know why he does it, but he keeps his cock buried deeply into you and knocks you over. He follows your body, adjusting himself behind you into the big spoon position and pulling your leg up to drape over his hip.Â
There, he slips out of you only slightly to hear you whine at the loss. Youâve gone so silent save for moaning and he thinks heâs in love with you. So fucking in love.
He makes quick work to stuff you again and smiles at the way you throw your head back, opening your pretty and glistening eyes just for a split second to look at him.Â
One hand now reaches around you and cradles one of your tits, the other snaking between your legs and experimentally tapping against your clit.Â
âThatâs right,â He boasts, trying his best not to drool as your droopy eyes struggle to stay on him for too long. âLook at me.âÂ
âDamn, Jake,â You manage to say in an aroused laugh, realizing that heâs really fucking you in the spooning position now? Of course he fucking would. Itâs such an intimate position, and the angle, you could argue, is one of the best you think youâve ever felt.Â
Paired with his words? Goddamn.
âHm?â He hums against your shoulder once he lays his head there, feeling your body jerk as he fucks his length into you repeatedly. âFeels good?â He asks, moaning himself this time at the way you close your legs around his hand and grind back against him.
Heâs quick to abandon your clit to push your legs open again, draping it right back in the same spot over his own hip. He can imagine how spread out you look, despite not being able to see it in this position. Heâs heard time and time that women like this angle, and if your sounds are anything to go by? He can say that itâs absolutely fucking true.
This time, when you reach back and pull his face to yours, now kissing him with more force than you have before, he loses composure again. Any chance of his focus being on you and you alone is now long fucking gone, baby.Â
Even as he tries to put his fingers against your clit again, the movements are messy, messy, messy. Thankfully, his hips are fucking you with full intent now. Heâs trying his best to control how good he feels so that way he can at least try to focus on your pleasure more, but god, fuck.
After one particularly deep thrust, you shiver and he fucking loses it.
âOh my god, I found it?â He asks, experimentally pressing his hips up the same way. âRight here? Baby, yeah?â He continues, repeatedly slamming you with the head of his cock bumping just where you need it.
âFuck-â You choke out, your body jolting without intent again and feeling shockwaves of what you can only describe as mini orgasms shooting throughout your muscles. âAhh- Jake, donât stop!â You frantically encourage him, mouth falling slack against his lips now, giving in to the pleasure and now losing all ability to speak at all.Â
He does, pressing his hips harder this time, a grunt spilling from his bitten lips with every forceful thrust. Repeatedly hitting the soft spot inside of you, over and over again, ultimately sending you into a world of something youâve, strangely, never felt before in terms of sex.Â
Jake watches you roll your head back, moaning out with a slack and somewhat pained face as he does it. He cannot fucking believe he found your g-spot on the first try and he will be damned to stop now.Â
He focuses now, grunting at the way your walls clench him so tightly each time he hits your spot. Heâs determined to make you cum, make you babble out strings of his name and how good he feels. He needs you to feel so good that youâll never think twice about letting him do this again, and again, and again, no matter how close you could be to getting caught.Â
His hips are going at a pace faster now than he thought possible, and with his fingers messily working your clit, paired with his cock driving into the single most pleasurable spot inside of you, you find your body tensing up and your mind erasing every thought and memory.Â
Itâs so much to feel at once but you feel too weak to stop him for event the smallest moment of collecting yourself.Â
âAh, youâre squeezing meââ He breathes out, words broken with his own moans as he does his best to keep pace to work you through it. âSo tightââ He manages to breathe out again, not yet realizing that youâre quite literally about to cum all over him.
And you want to. So you fucking do. You cum hard around him, clenching him so tightly that Jake stills his hips in disbelief at the way your body moves when you release. He can barely get the words out when he speaks, feeling you drench him with liquid fire. âAre youâ?â He chokes out, jerking his hips back and trying to pull out of you for his own release.
âDo not pull out,â You groan as your orgasm continues to choke you of your breath. âFeels so good, justââ You cry out, pressing yourself back and enveloping the inches of him that he had pulled from you. âI wanna feel it.âÂ
âFuck. fuck.â He moans out louder this time, hands gripping your waist and holding you against him as he shakes behind you. You can feel him twitch inside of you as he shoots those thick, white ropes of cum into you.Â
For a brief moment you remembered when he released from your hand, pressing himself slowly and roughly into your first.Â
You were right.Â
Jake buries himself as deep as he can go, only grinding back a few centimeters before pressing himself flush against you as another spurt paints the flesh inside of you. You feel so full, and heâs packed so tightly in you that you genuinely think this is the first time youâve ever actually felt a man cum inside of you. Like really feel it. Every fucking pulse of it.Â
Unfortunately, just like that, you feel empty with how fast he pulls out of you. Youâre in shock, actually.Â
âWhere are you going?â You ask in a cracked and panicked voice, looking behind you as he backs away from you momentarily.Â
âIââ He pauses, looking at you and the way your eyes look back at him in a different type of panic. âDonât know.â He says, getting back onto the bed and reluctantly putting his arms around you in a hug.
âI donât know how to like, end this.â He admits against your shoulder, still trying to steady his breath from the orgasm he had ten seconds ago.Â
Instantly, Jake found himself in a post-nut state of guilt and kind of scared of how much he adored fucking you.Â
âEnd it?â You ask, pulling away from him. âYou want to stop?â
âYou donât?â He asks, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes.Â
âI mean, we both know what we are doingâŚâ You trail off, sitting yourself up and fully aware that the guilt will always hit you at random times, but still, you want Jake. âAnd we still kept doing it.â
âYeah, butââÂ
âBut?â You ask, turning your body to face him as he sits himself up now. The nakedness of your bodies is not at all embarrassing at this moment.Â
âJake, I donât think I can like, not want you if you still want me.â
He nods his head reluctantly, wondering if this is you offering the fact that youâre willing to straight up, blatantly, and shamelessly cheat on Sunghoon with him.
âUgh,â Jake puts his face in his hands and then runs his fingers through his hair. âThis is so fucked up.â
âYeah, it is.â You admit, leaning towards him. âBut If we never talk about itâŚ,â
âNo, no! I wouldnât.â Jake throws his hands up defensively. âI only feel bad when youâre not here.â He says, now questioning himself. âI donât think Iâd be able to like, not ever do this again.â
âSo we are both in this same little fucked up boat?â You ask.Â
âI guess so.â He laughs at himself, and then at you. âIf he ever finds out, you know iâll be found in a ditch somewhere, right?â
You laugh, despite it being the worse fucking joke in the world. Running hand in hand with Jake into a fire that you both fucking searched for is kind ofâŚscary? But also elating?
âWell, Iâm not gonna fucking tell him.â You say, pressing the important matter at hand. âThe point is, Jake, I need you to understand that Iâve never cheated on anyone.â
Somehow, he lightens the mood.
âDamn, I must be special.â
You guess he is.
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fluff fluff fluff!!!! i want someone to like me as much as jay liked y/n </3
SLUT! â P.JS
synopsis: experiencing love in your last year of high school was totally unexpected, especially when itâs the fact that you had fallen for the boy everyone wants. what you werenât prepared for was the troubles that came with it. however, you were willing to pay the price just for the sake of love.Â
pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader
genre: acquaintances to lovers, high school au, romance, angst, coming of age (?)
warning(s): profanities, (slight) slut shaming, underage drinking and partying
wc: 6.7k
a/n: last fic of 2023! thank you for all the support 𫶠a little piece dedicated to everyone and also those who loves this song equally as much as me! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
masterlist | Š jaylver all rights reserved.
Finding love was the last thing you had on your list right now.
It was the final year of high school. Everyone was freaking out over the fact that they were growing older and their time in high school was over. The Californian air couldn't be any more duller after that. Senior prom and graduation preparations were already starting even though it was just the start of the year. What was stopping them anyway?Â
Being a teenager was art, but what they didn't tell you about growing up was the process of falling in love.Â
It was torture. Witnessing people in love all around you while you struggled with advancing past the talking stage. No, it wasn't fair. However, having cupid strike its bow at you unexpectedly one day was the worst of crimes.
You know the embarrassing feeling when you see your classmates outside of school? Right. That was how you felt the moment Park Jong Seong walked into your mother's clinic, your eyes widening behind the counter. Must you be responsible for the counter at this very hour?
âHeyâY/N?â
Jay was a classmate. You didn't really know him and neither did he know much about you. It was just neutral, where you coexist in the same space until the bell rings and the day ends. You get the gist.Â
That doesn't exclude the point where Jay was widely known, though. He wasn't like his popular jock friends or an athlete whatsoever. Instead, he was a studious guy who kept his reputation clean. Basically, he was your typical golden boy. You knew he wasn't completely innocent to an extent, but at least he was good at hiding it.Â
There is no denying that everyone wants him. He was a nice guy paired with strong, distinct features. It was no secret he was also known for his looks and caring manners.
âJay? What are you doing here?âÂ
He was wrapped in a thick hoodie, hands hidden in his pants pocket. âCaught a cold. I thought I should drop by to see a doctor and get some medicine,â
âOh no,â you tried your best at giving a concerned expression, though you were busy skimming through files on the laptop. âDo you have a record here?â
âI do. Not my first time,â
You tried for his full legal name instead of âJay Parkâ and thankfully, his record showed up. âFound it,â you glanced up just to find him staring back at you. This was probably the first time you were this close to him, enough to be able to distinguish the moles on his face.
âI'll call you in a bit,â
You did what you always do every time, inform your mother and call the patients in. But Jay wasn't just another patient to you. When you called his name, you watched as he got closer, casting you a sweet smile right before he disappeared behind the door, leaving you to your seat at the counter, overthinking the littlest details that you knew you'd have to spill to your best friend after.
Jay waited patiently by the counter once it was time to pay. His gaze followed your every move as you got his prescribed medicine and stuffed them carefully into a bag.Â
âHere you go,â you passed the bag over, then accepted the cash he had been holding for a while. âThanks,â you muttered, taking the chance at avoiding eye contact when you slipped the cash into the register.
âThank you too,â Jay said, immediately gaining your attention. He was still managing a smile even though you could tell he was shivering slightly.Â
âNo problem. Rest well,â you took a piece of candy from your own bowl of personal sweets stash. âHere,âÂ
âCandy?â
You nodded, humming softly.Â
âThanks,â his voice was quieter, sounding as if he was in disbelief. Unbeknownst to you, his eyes twinkled, a hint of fascination lingered. âI'll see you around, Y/N.â
âSee you.â
That night, you laid awake replaying the encounter you had with Jay. It was the first time you've ever talked to him, and it was barely anything, but you somehow understood why people liked him by then. Not like you didn't like him initially, you meant, romantically.
It was definitely an odd place to meet and talk to him. Out of all the possible places, it just had to be your motherâs clinic that none of your peers came to once, that was until him. But somehow, it was the right timing despite the location. It was the wrong place at the right time.
Who knew his cold and your candy would soon start something neither of you expected.
âDo you wish you made out with him or something?â
Telling Yunjin about it was probably the best and worst idea. Sure, she could be a great moral support, except she lacked filters when needed.
âWhat the fuckâno!â You glanced around, hoping none of the passing students heard your stupid discussions. âHe's hot but not like that, at all,â
âSo you admit he's hot!â
You rolled your eyes, chucking the bag of Doritos back to her. âI never said he wasn't,â
âYou intended it, said you didn't get the âhypeâ around him,âÂ
âUntil now!â You threw your hands up in surrender, only getting a cackle from Yunjin as a response. âWhatever. It's a one time thing. He's out of my league. It's a whole âYou Belong with Meâ music video type of situation excluding me being friends with him,â
âYou're yapping at this point,â
âThanks, I know,â
âIt's not that serious, Y/N. You fighting your life trying to defend yourself only makes it seem like you're in denial,â why must she always be on point?
âWhatever, whatever,â you waved her off, stubbornly ignoring what she said. âI'm at the back of the line anyway, I should be worrying about graduation and college,â
âOh right!â Yunjin physically jumped, her backpack shook. âI need your opinion on something.â
That whole Jay discourse had swarmed your head that was currently leaning against the window. You purposely picked a seat by the window at the back of the class, hoping for some space to think since it was a class you didn't have with Yunjin.Â
âA dollar for your thoughts?â
To your right stood Jay, shouldering his backpack and offering a warm smile. You knew you shared this class with him, but to have him walk up to you at that very moment was something beyond unexpected.
âHey,â you greeted rather stiffly, not knowing what to do now that you were put under the spot. âWâwhat are you doing standing there?â Facepalm.
âOhâdo you mind if I sit beside you?â He pointed at the empty seat next to you, and you shook your head. You usually sat with random classmates anyway, having no close friends in this class was a struggle.Â
Jay's face broke into a smile of relief, plotting his bag down before taking a seat. âThanks, I don't really have anyone I know here,â
âYou don't?â That's weird. You always noticed how people naturally swarmed around Jay's table, either greeting him or chatting with him.
âNot really. None of them are really my friends,â
But you were?
âYou're a friend to me, though,â he added, as if reading your mind at that instant.
You were taken aback, but you hid it well, masking it with nonchalance. âReally?â
He nodded, a sincere smile that told you he meant it. You let yourself loose this time, reciprocating his smile. âI'm honoured,â
âI'm even more honoured.â
Throughout the class, you didn't miss the occasional glances from him and neither did you stop yourself from looking at him. He was much more breathtaking up close. Who were you to deny that?
By the end of the class, the bell rang and everyone started to pack up, some already rushing out in a hurry. You, on the other hand, was too caught up in your headspace to notice Jay was already done tidying up beside you and was waiting for his queue.
âUhâY/N?â he tapped you on your shoulder, stealing your attention at once. You stared at him expectantly, blinking with curiosity behind your eyes.
âYeah?â You dragged the word out slightly, packing your last book into your bag.
âWould you like to go to a party this weekend?â
A party? That'd be your first.
âWhere's that? Can I bring my friend too?â
âYes and it's at Jake's house,â he winced, forgetting you're not one of those frequent party goers. âI'll text you the detailsâwait, I don't even have your number,â he laughed awkwardly, which only made you smile.
âReal smooth, Jay,â you signalled for his phone, and he grabbed it out of his jeans pocket without saying a word, eyes following your move as you typed in your number.Â
When you handed his phone back, he didnât hesitate to press the call button. Obviously, you heard your ringtone coming from your backpack. You glanced at Jay, giving him a face that was saying âreally?â, quite incredulous that heâd doubted you.Â
âJust wanted to be sure,â he smiled, scratching the back of his neck out of awkwardness. âIâll make sure to text you,â he held his phone up, waving it a little and slowly getting up from his seat, to which you followed suit. At that moment, the classroom was already almost empty, so it was just a few lingering students with you and Jay, but it all felt like you were in a completely different universe altogether.
âCool,âÂ
âCool,â Jay echoed after you, and you resisted yourself from laughing. Apparently he noticed your tight smile and smiled along with you. Wordlessly, you two communicated through each of your smiles even as you walked side by side out the door.Â
âWhich way are you going?â he was quick to ask, eyes shining with expectations.
âIâm going that way,â you pointed to the right, down the busy corridor.
âOh,â Jay visibly faltered, the expectations he held behind his gaze were crushed. âIâm heading that way,â he pointed to the left, the opposite direction of where youâre going.Â
âI guess thatâs it for today,â you patted his shoulder, unbeknownst to how Jay had froze under your touch for a second. âUntil our next class together, then,â
âSee you,â he waved, gradually backing away.
You couldnât help but grin. âBye!âÂ
You watched as he walked away, his back now fully facing you. It took you another beat before your feet were willing you away to where you were meant to go. But what you failed to realise as you concentrated on your steps was Jay turning his head back to catch a glimpse of you, his head only filled with the thoughts of you.
Heâs so screwed.
Staying at the library was the last resort for you once you got to know Yunjin had an impromptu extra hour class after school. She promised she'd take you to the pool, considering the weather was only getting hotter day by day. But you suppose it'd have to wait for now.
What was worse, the heatwave or high school? Trick question.
The library was mostly empty by this hour, only a couple of students remained to either study or chill around just like you. It was one of those times where you wondered why you didn't explore more. As you wandered along the towering shelves filled with old books, you caught sight of an interesting looking one.
Instinctively, you pulled the book out of the shelf without thinking twice. But what caught your eyes wasn't the cover of the book or the book itself in general. Instead, it was the pair of eyes staring back at you through the small gap from where the book originally sat.
The most surprising bit of all was you knew and recognised who those eyes belonged to. Jay.
Your eyes widened, so did he once he saw your reaction. For some inexplicable reason, you stood up straight, unknowingly fixing your hair out of a nervous habit.Â
You were nervous? It's just Jay. No, wait, that's probably why. It's Jay. How were you not going to feel nervous around him?
Quick, think! Were you going to find him in the next aisle or run away. Maybe not the latter. You turned on your heel and walked forward, deciding to find Jay and greet him out of courtesy.Â
You were just about to turn the corner when you stumbled into the man you were looking for, perfect. Actually, not perfect. The moment you crashed into him, you stumbled into his chest and his hands flew up to catch you, the book originally in his possession dropped to the ground with a firm thud.
There you were, literally in his arms and looking frenzied. His wide eyes matched yours. It took a few beats and a moment for your mind to formulate what's happening for you to finally push yourself from him, absolutely flustered from embarrassment.
âHey,â you dusted your front in an attempt to hide your burning cheeks.
âHi,â he replied rather breathlessly, mirroring your rosy cheeks.
The book that fell to the ground suddenly became unimportant to Jay, but to you, it was a mark that was burning into the precious floorings. You moved fast and picked up the book, yet you weren't quick to hand it back, instead you took a look at it.
âPride and Prejudice?â You noted from the old cover, then glanced at him, a glint of interest sparked. âDidn't know you're like that,â you extended the book out to him.Â
He took the book back into his possession, smiling rather sweetly. âLiterature is the death of me,â
âIsn't it a selective subject?â
âIt is. I was an idiot for thinking I could hold on,â he rolled his eyes, making you giggle softly.
âI'm sure you will. You'reâlikeâEinstein smart,â
âAre you trying to stroke my ego right now?â He crossed his arms, leaning onto the bookshelf ever so casually.
âNo, I'm just pointing it out. You literally rank in the top 5 every year! It's annoying,â
âIs it so?â
âVery much,â
âShould I be flattered? I'm flattered,â he bowed dramatically, unable to hide his smug smile. It was your turn to roll your eyes, shaking your head at him. He only let out a laugh at your reaction. âWhat are you doing here at this time anyway?â
âOhâYunjin, my friend, had a random impromptu class so she had to stay back. I was waiting for her since sheâs bringing me to go swim, but now I donât know if thatâs happening,â
âYou could always stop by my place for a swim,â
You blinked, head tilting to one side. âWhat?â
Jay seemed to have become embarrassed judging from the reddening tips of his ears that you were (thankfully) oblivious to. âI have a pool, and my parents are out of town for maybe a few months or so for work, so itâs practically unused,â
âWhat about your friends? Donât they go over to swim?â
âThey do, but theyâre looking to take more advantage of it by wanting to throw a party soon since my parents are away,â he grumbled in the last part.
âWell, are you?â
âI guess? I donât mind it,â he hummed, bright eyes flickering to you. âWill you come if I do?â
âIf Iâm invited,â
âObviously you are,â Jay said matter-of-factly, eyebrows raised. âSo what do you say?â
âSure,â
âGreat. Iâll hold you to it,â he snapped his fingers, and was basically beaming now. It only made you form more visible heart eyes. âBut for now, Iâll see you at Jakeâs party,â
 âDeal.â
That day, you left the library with a lovesick smile instead of a book. You didnât even get annoyed after knowing it was too late for a trip to the pool, and obviously Yunjin caught onto that. On the walk home, you thought about him and the party. Anxiety and anticipation were both building up, until he came up in mind again and everything disappeared.
You got lovestruck and it went straight to your head. It was almost the first time youâve actually felt the way youâre feeling now, nobody had once made you fully experience every emotion of having a crush in your years in high school. No one was even capable of it, that was until Jay appeared into your life.Â
Going to bed that same night, you thought of him again. At that point, you wondered if he would materialise in your bedroom from the amount of times you had him in your head. Maybe heâd be accidentally manifested into life.Â
Tossing and turning, you kicked your feet at the imaginations you had of him. Upon realising your own behaviour, you covered your face with a pillow and screamed into it. Were you crazy? Oh my God, you were!Â
Then it hit you.
Youâre admitting this now. You like Park Jong Seong.Â
âI canât believe weâre here,â
Yunjin was currently having the best of her life even though nothing has happened yet and you both had just arrived at Jakeâs house.Â
The walk in was already shocking. On the lawn of Jakeâs house were knocked out drunks, then by the door were people making out and doing weird things you didnât want to think of again. You were surprised that everything happening before you was something youâve seen in movies and you were actually experiencing that now.Â
âIs this even ⌠legal?â you glanced around, cringing at the tacky set ups and badly picked music in the background.
âNo. But youâve drunk before, so who are you to say?â
âTouche,âÂ
Wandering further into the house, you realised there were many people here, but you weren't surprised at all. Jake was a well known footballer anyway, how could he not be popular in the first place?
"Y/N!"
At the sound of your name being called, you looked over your shoulder to see Jay approaching you. His eyes carried the same kind of brightness he has around you, the corner of his lips were curved up into a wide smile. Let's not forget how he has his hair styled up at that moment. Was he expecting you to not feel anything?
"Jay! Hey," you waved meekly at him until he was standing before you. You noticed his gaze on your friend who was standing beside you, a look of unfamiliarity clearly written in his expressions. "This is Yunjin, by the way,"
Yunjin and Jay both greeted each other amicably, though a little awkward but it was natural for it to be like that. Jay turned to look at you, eyebrows raised. "This would be a great chance to introduce my friends butâ"
"Jay!"
"I take that back,"Â
You and your friend exchanged a brief look, stifling your laughter at Jay's demeanour. He was flailing his hand to get his friend to come closer, and by then, you could recognise who it was.Â
"Bro, why were you running around all night? Were you expecting someoneâoh, hey," Jake, the host of the party and the popular footballer, had finally taken account of you and your friend's presence. "I'm Jake, nice to meet you,"
"Likewise, I'm Y/N,"
"Yunjin,"Â
"Y/N and Yunjin, you guys are new faces around here,"Â
"It's not really our scene," you nudged Yunjin a little, and she nodded in agreement. It's true, you and her equally preferred a night in with a romcom playing than this. But you'd make it an exception this time, and maybe the next time for Jay's party.Â
"You're always welcomed. Any friend's of Jay or friend's of Jay's friend are welcomed to our party," Jake patted Jay's back, while the latter only rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Jake! Your toilet's cloggedâ" another one you recognised to be a part of the friend group appeared out of the blue. It was Sunghoon. Star hockey player and basically every girl's crush, he was known for his wits, charming good looks, and crazy hockey skills, duh.Â
If you told yourself from months back that you'd somehow become friends with Jay and meet his friends, you'd think you're crazy.Â
"Hey, sorry," Sunghoon winced, but gave Jake a pointed look after. Jake scoffed in annoyance, then left with a huff and a wave of goodbye to you and Yunjin. "Sorry 'bout that, I'm Sunghoon,"
"I'm Yunjin," when did she become this bold? Whatever it was, you were willing to support her.
"I'm Y/N,"Â
"You're Y/N?" Sunghoon gasped quietly, glancing between you and Jay, interest forming in his head.
Jay slapped the back of Sunghoon's head, and in the midst of the latter's grumbles, he could only smile awkwardly at you. "Shut up," he hissed to Sunghoon.
"First, ouch. Second, whatever," Sunghoon bumped Jay roughly with his shoulder. "Wanna get some drinks?"
"I'm fine, I'll pass. Maybe Yunjin can go along with you?" You eyed Yunjin, and you saw her giving you those 'i owe you my life' type of eyes.Â
"Sure," Sunghoon smiled at Yunjin, but gave Jay a firm nudge, his gaze alone conveying the message. Apparently bro telepathy was a thing, because in a few seconds, he decided Jay was staying with you and wandered off along with your best friend.Â
"It's just us two now," you said, as if it wasn't already obvious.Â
"Yeah," Jay was equally stiff as you were. "Sounds crazy, but do you want to go up to the room? It's a little loud here,"
"I don't think it's 'a little' but totally, sure. Lead the way," you figured Jay was familiar with his way since it was quite literally his best friend's house.
He wordlessly took your hand and intertwined it with his. It was so casual and sudden that it was unexpected, knocking the breath out of you. He made sure you were walking in front of him the whole time, hand never leaving yours and only gripping tighter as he held you close to avoid the crowd.Â
In a world of boys, he was a gentleman.Â
He eventually brought you to a quiet room down the hall upstairs, into a bedroom that was decorated much simpler. You guessed it was the guest room, it would've made most sense.Â
"Do you normally bring girls here?"Â
Jay's face contorted into a mix of shock and disbelief, arms thrown into the air. "Whatâno!"
"Really?"
"What makes you think that?"
You shrugged, taking a seat on the bed. "I don't know? Well, everyone wants youâ"
That was your crime.
"âyou're popular, smart, cute, kind andâam I talking too much?" You paused, feeling the bed dip beneath you as Jay joined your side.Â
"I like it," he hummed, turning to look at you. "I like you,"
You blinked. One second. Two seconds.Â
"What?" Your eyes were widening, whereas Jay was just staring back calmly with an unwavering smile.
"I like you, Y/N," the confession rolled off his tongue like a secret he has been keeping for too long. The eyes that were searching for yours were filled with longing and hope.
Was this really happening right now?
"I like you too, Jay,"Â
It felt like the world had stopped and it was just you and him there. You were taking in his confession and so was he. It might've been silent but it was comfortable.Â
"Can Iâ" he leaned in, but stopping just an inch away from your lips. You could feel his breath on yours, noses making contact. That was how close he was.Â
"Yeah,"Â
Just before Jay could press his lips against yours, the door burst open and you jumped, literally. You heard a thud too, and realised Jay was on the floor.Â
You turned to look at the door, finding the culprit standing there awkwardly. It was Jake, and he, too, was self aware that he had crashed an important private moment.
"UhâI just wanted to find JayâŚ"
"Jake, if you don't close that door right now, I swearâ"
Jay didn't even need to finish his sentence when Jake slammed the door shut, yelling out 'sorry's and saying he'd be waiting for Jay down the hall. Talk about awkward encounters.Â
You locked eyes with Jay, who looked thoroughly embarrassed but also humoured. It didn't take long before you burst out laughing and he joined along. Soon, he returned to his original spot next to you too.
"That was ⌠bad,"
"It was," you were fidgeting with your hands, suddenly nervous. "I guess the timing wasn't right,"
"It really wasn't,"
Silence fell between the two of you, and there was something in your mind that was bugging you. "Does this mean we're âŚ?" You didn't need to finish what you were saying for Jay to get the meaning.Â
"I mean, do you want to try it out first? We don't need to rush into anything, don't even need to be official. I just wanted you to know how I feel,"Â
"I can do slow," you nodded, catching a brief glimpse of Jay.Â
"I'll always be waiting for you," Jay took your hand in his, and that was when you finally had the courage to meet his eyes again. "Whenever you're ready."
People say dating the popular guy was a bad idea, but for once, you were willing to let loose and give your heart a go.
Who knew the start of your newfound romance would soon blossom into a whirlwind of tears, love, and scandalous teen romance.
"So you're dating him now?"
Having Yunjin scream into your ear in the morning during the first period was not surprising. Maybe telling her everything over the phone and leaving her hanging wasn't the best idea. It wasn't your fault she was hungover anyway.
"Shush! Do you want everyone to know?"
"I'm sure everyone knows by now,"
You gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"
"Jake kinda saw you guys, then he blabbered it to Sunghoon, and I guess others heard it because he was not quiet about it,"
Jake. You heaved a sigh, shaking your head a bit. "We're not boyfriend girlfriend official, but just ⌠trying things out, you know?"
"I know," Yunjin let out a satisfied hum. "I think he'd be great for you,"
"Really?"
"He's a nice guy, Y/N. Judging from his reputation, he seems like a good man," Yunjin practically gave you her seal of approval, and it left you feeling happy for the rest of the period.
That was until lunch break where everything fell apart way too fast.
Walking out to the cafeteria, you didn't think much about anything else as you listened to Yunjin rant about her latest online purchase. But the moment you heard Jay's name along with yours in passing, your ears perked up. You thought nothing of it, leading up to Kim Minjeong confronting you head on and you knew that's when you should start worrying.
"Are you ⌠the one with Jay?"Â
You glanced at Yunjin for a split second, anxiety bubbling in your stomach. "I guess?"
"You're a slut. Don't you know I have a thing for him? There's something call girl codeâ"
"Woah woah, wait, what? Look, we don't even know you like that," Yunjin quickly butt in upon seeing you fall silent.Â
"Everyone knows me! Everyone knows Jay and I had a thing! What is it you want? His popularity? Moneyâ"
"Shut up,"Â
Speaking of the devil.
"You okay?" Jay appeared by your side, gaze softening once it landed on you. "I was searching for you, didn't know this is happening,"
"Iâ"
"Jay! What are you doing? Why are you with herâ"
"Can you just quit it? We've been through this many times, Minjeong. I don't like you and I never have, why can't you just accept it?" He sounded exasperated, almost as if he had been putting up with this for ages. "Put my girl's name out of your mouth and leave her out of this. She's the one I want, not you,"
The only way you could describe Minjeong's face there was rageful. Her expressions were contorted and her lips were etched into a frown. She knew she couldn't defend herself further, so she eventually left with a huff.
It was quite unsalvageable at that point and you felt yourself breaking down from the inside out. Even when Jay called your name, you only shrugged him off and brushed past him. The worst part of all: he didn't run after you either.
Great. Now you were going to spend the rest of the day mulling in bed.
That didn't last long either. Once you got into bed, ready to sleep away from the day's incident and think back to Yunjin's pep talk, you heard your phone buzz. Not once, but multiple times. Who was sending messages at that time? Of course, it had to be him.
jjongster: hey, can we please talk?
jjongster: like right now
you: right now?
jjongster: yeah, send me wherever you're most convenient to meet
This was stupid. Sneaking out of your room when it's dark out and meeting Jay down the street from your house. All when your emotions were not stable and set yet. You've sent him the address and now he's waiting there, standing by his car like a dream.Â
"Hey," he called out softly as you walked closer to him.Â
"Hi," you hated this, the sudden stiffness and awkwardness that got between you two, you shouldn't be suffering because of it.
"Sorry for asking you to come out this late," he was quick to apologise, taking a step closer to you. He was always so nice, so kind and loving. "Iâit's just eating me up, and I really wanted to tell youâspeak to youâin person. I wanted to see you,"
"It's okay, I get it. I'm sorry too, for leaving so abrupt and ignoring you. That was wrong of me to do," you were feeling guilty about what you did earlier, letting your emotions get the best of you and neglecting Jay.
"I understand, don't worry. Are you feeling okay? I didn't expect that to happen, I'm sorry,"
"Don't apologise, it's not on you," you brushed away the strand of hair that constantly fell onto your face, occasionally avoiding his stare. "And I don't know. I don't know how or what to feel,"
He frowned. "Tell me, tell me what's on your mind,"
"Jay, what if this was all a bad choice? You're you, and I'm ⌠me. You're the golden boy, everyone wants you! Now they're talking behind our backs and all I do is hear rumours that aren't true, names being called âŚ"
"It's not a bad choice, Y/N! I want you ⌠so much. No one else compares. Can't you see that?" Jay moved closer to you, his hands now on both your shoulders. "Don't push me away now,"
Jay was taking his chance, and you thought it was a big mistake, but he doesnât. It might blow up in his pretty face, and you didnât tell him straight on to do it anyway, yet you knew he was going to and he wasnât going to care what others think.
"I could never," you shook your head, welcoming his embrace as he pulled you in, and before you knew it, the tears you held in all day started streaming down your cheeks.
He held you there on the pavement as you broke down in his arms, his hold on you never once loosened. There that night, under the starry sky and illuminating street lights was a connection and trust formed unknowingly between you and him, love that blossomed like a flower in spring.Â
"Gosh, I probably look stupid right now crying," you chuckled, pushing yourself slightly off of him to glance at his face.Â
"You look pretty, gorgeous to me," his thumb travelled to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that remained.Â
"I shouldn't have said that ⌠us being a bad choice," you said quietly, cursing internally that you've even doubted it in the first place. "I trust you, Jay, I do,"
"Thank you," his hand travelled down to hold onto yours, a smile ever so soft. "We'll go at your pace. Whenever you're ready,"
"Whenever I'm ready." you repeated, unable to stop yourself from smiling either.
Jay knew he was already in deep, experiencing feelings he's never felt before in his eighteen years of life, but seeing you then, made him realise maybe young love was something to believe in. For once, he had a love to fight for.Â
Jay was true to his words. He, in fact, did throw a party at his place. But what he didn't tell you was the cleaning up, and boy, was it a headache.
Once everyone had filed out a little after midnight, it was only you and Jay left. It was peaceful. In an empty house that had music blasting in the background, you and Jay each struggled to pick up all the rubbish strewn. You liked this. You like him.
It might've taken a while, but eventually you had the place cleaned, or at least, rubbish-less. There was probably more deep cleaning needed (that was for the next day to worry about). However, for now, it was finally just the two of you, and a whole lot of space with nothing to do.
"Wanna go for a dip?"
"Now?" You glanced at the clock, then back at Jay, who was trying to convince you with his starry eyes and nodding his head like an overly enthusiastic puppy. "Fine."
You didn't even know why you agreed to it. It was a lucky decision you brought an extra pair of everything since you were staying over.Â
Jay was already in the pool, floating around when you walked out. The light coming from the pool was the only thing providing light. Blue reflection and wet messy hair made Jay increasingly dreamy, till the point where you stood there for a bit too long and he had to call for you.
"Coming!" You huffed, but the moment you reached the edge of the pool, you found yourself stuck and feeling nervous.Â
The sight of Jay's bare front and your lack of clothing was nerve wracking to even think about. Your mind was in a fuzz even as you accepted his hand and let him pull you in, the cool water invading your senses.Â
His arms came to wrap around your waist, the only thing you could hold for support was his bicep, so that was what you reached for. Jay didn't mind, he only held you tighter, a conspiring glare glazed over his eyes.
"Hey," he tilted his head, gaze travelling all over your features. You were close, very close. It was almost as if you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.
"Hi," you whispered back. Your hand was on its own journey, absentmindedly moving to his shoulder.
You should be dying out of anxiety by now, or even freak the fuck out, yet, you successfully kept your composure, in front of a hot man. Hooray!
"How's the water? I swear it's clean. I gated it off before the party,"
You laughed, remembering how Jake was so insistent on keeping the pool part of the party. He claimed that a pool party was way cooler than just a regular party. Jay was not convinced.
"It's nice. Chilly,"Â
Jay nodded for a bit, pursing his lips, thinking for a beat. "I'm glad you were here today,"
"Why?"
"I just like having you here, that's all,"
"You're so cheesy, it's annoying," you joked lightheartedly, knowing you secretly enjoyed this side of him.
"Whatever, you tolerate it anyway,"
He was right, you did. Over the few months, you've grown to memorise and remember every part of Jay. His habits, his likings, et cetera. It was crazy how your relationship grew with time, but the much crazier part was the fact that you two had not gone official yet.
"Against my will,"
"That's a lie,"
"Whatever you say," you said in a sing-song tone, which only made Jay roll his eyes, reaching up to pinch your cheek.Â
His gaze never left yours, not even once. It was trained on you, always had been and always will be. The eventual silence got to you, and it was just the distant noise of the water that filled the air.
It was one of those moments where you think 'was this real'. Spoiler: it was. He was testing the waters, you could tell, and you let him.Â
Jay inched a little closer, eyes flickering between you and your lips. It was obvious that he was nervous from the shaky breath and wavering confidence, but it only made you more relieved.Â
You let out a breath, meeting his lips halfway. At first, he was shocked, you were too, but for different reasons. Kissing him was a breath of fresh air. His lips moved against yours naturally as if it was his first instinct, like he has been waiting for this for ages, which was not entirely wrong. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss and you swore you felt yourself imploding.
The moment you two finally pulled away to catch your breath, you could only stare at him and hold onto him tighter as if you were afraid he might not be real. Jay chased after your lips, pressing haste pecks and smiling into every one of them. It was infectious, everything about him was and it had you intoxicated.Â
You realised at that second that youâd be willing to go against the world for him if you had to. Even if someone called you a âslutâ again, maybe itâd be worth it for once, and you knew heâd always be right there to defend you.
âI'm ready,â
âHm?â he was still in a haze, eyes staring back at you with more than love in them.
âIâm ready to be yours, Jay, Iâm serious,â
âYou are?â
He has never been so relieved and happy leading up till that moment, just having you in his arms was about to make him burst. All he needed was to see you nod and watch your lips mouthing âyesâ as a confirmation before lifting you up, arms tight around you.Â
Under the moonlit swimming pool, youâve never been happier.
The night mightâve already ended for others, but to you and Jay, it was still ongoing, and you wished for it to not end. So, there you were, in his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he lay beside you. There was barely any space between you and him, his hand brushed against yours from time to time, neither of you dared to move from your original position.Â
Half asleep, you were taking your time to do something. You took the chance to move your hand closer and gently made contact with his. It didnât even take a beat for him to lace his fingers with yours, his grip ever so firm, calloused skin against yours. You could tell Jay was equally drifting in and out of sleep as you were, mind in a haze but awake enough to comprehend that you were next to him and not a figment of his imagination.
âIâm in love with you,âÂ
It was faint, almost a whisper, but a mumble that was audible came from Jay. You turned your head to look at him, even under the dim lights, you were able to see that smile from him. The one that always made him look like a lovesick fool, that his friend would claim heâd have whenever he talked about you; it was a smile only reserved for you, and you were the cause of it too.
âGoodnight,â he mumbled out, eyes remained shut, but the smile stayed.Â
âGoodnight.âÂ
There in the bed slept two young lovers, a fresh love that was unbreakable that connected the two of you together, all of it was fated. From the clinic to now, it mightâve started at the wrong place but it surely was at the right time, and you were glad to be next to him, hand in hand, anticipating what the future had in store for you two.Â
( Š jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
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