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sometimes nsfw, rarely mentally well... biblically accurate 90s kid
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My reading experience, in 7 parts:
I read the title as "cart wheels"
Why would cartwheels cost $300? You can just do them for free?
I mean I wouldn't do cartwheels inside, but if you have the space whatever I guess.
Is this a non-native English speaker? This whole cartwheel business is giving Google translate.
Salt? Snacks?
Clapping?
Finally, reached the "idiot son" part, re-read the title, and achieved reading comprehension, the likes of which tumblr has never seen the likes of which
Gonna scream oh my Gd
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if i died and turned into a skeleton my sister would use ancient and forbidden magic to raise me from the dead fyi and nothing would go wrong btw
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thats him officer thats the gnome that baked me the most beautiful raspberry scone
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It's so annoying that my client who has the vim and vigor to get the mean, bordering on outright cruel, other overnighter fired is also the client who literally can't keep straight what year they were born, names of staff, or whether something happened yesterday or six months ago.
#you could have been great#you could have saved so many future residents from being retraumatized#you coulda been a contender#but you also think your age is literally any number between 21 and 40 on any given day
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One of the teachers at my old job had one of these. His was very similar to the one pictured on the top right, though it was longer.
Every single summer, we spent multiple days working only in his classroom to rewax the floor. The desk was so large (and the classroom was strangely shaped) that we couldn't do his room in halves. It was weird thirds, and we would skate the desk to different corners between sections.
Now you might think "why not truck the desk into the hallway?" Dear reader, this man had hired someone to disassemble and reassemble the desk inside his room. It did not fit through the door. We tried. We took the door off the hinges to give ourselves an extra inch. It still did not fit.
I hate these desks.
You don't understand, I want — no, I need one of these. My life will only be complete when I'll have a big, dramatic wooden desk.
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who is the first david you think of when you hear the name david
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My unopened kombucha spilled in my bag so I just spent an hour disassembling my keyboard so I could wash it out
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Starting waxing in my 30s is wild because like what tf was I doing until now? Bumbling around like a fuckin buffoon in the dark? Bumping into walls in a pitch black house? "Have you tried lanterns?" No, they're scary and might burn me. I'd much rather whack my shin on this table every single time I walk through the living room. Yes, until it bleeds.
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ATTENTION
If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)
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in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years
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No nuance because this is another coworker argument settlement poll
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I may have realized this before but ive just realized again that it's been over 10 years since I last tried to kill myself
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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)
Reblog to increase sample size!
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”bro what’s the meaning of life”
idk man we’re made of atoms that held hands so hard they turned into polycules
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I had to watch this gif like five times because I kept misreading Tradewind as Tradwife and for a minute I was having a very confusing morning
some notable catchphrases of 2013:
bitch I might be
do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo !
swiggity swag
the D
wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti
“ hello______, im dad “
AYYY LMAO
W R I T I N G I N T E N S E W O R D S L I K E T H I S
perfect _____ don’t exis-
And now, the weather
at least 2 potato
we’ve come full circle !
life hack :
[ __________ INTENSIFIES]
so many
such doge. much wow. very smile.
mahogany
*sweats nervously*
same.
spooper hot choclety milk
#SHERLOCKLIVES
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