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kittykatkatelol2

vibing in hellfire

☆Corwin or Barty ○ He/Him + Neos ○ Self-Diagnosed AuDHD ○ A03 ○ (banner by @/starsleeps on twitter)☆

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 29

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7, Pt 8, Pt 9, Pt 10, Pt 11, Pt 12, Pt 13, Pt 14, Pt 15, Pt 16, Pt 17, Pt 18, Pt 19, Pt 20, Pt 21, Pt 22, Pt 23, Pt 24, Pt 25, Pt 26, Pt 27, Pt 28, Pt 29, Pt 30, Pt 31

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: blood)

cw: description of dead body (idk what else to call it)

While Marlene, Remus, and Sirius talked about how they were going to get out and what they should do until morning. (Sirius suggesting summoning ghosts like they originally planned. ((Both saying no))

James and Regulus walked a little ways away, though not far enough to get separated like before. Just enough to talk in privacy.

"I'm sorry, Jamie. I really am-"

"Don't be, we are together again, that's all that matters. We can be together, forever again. Right?"

James watched Regulus's face turn grim, a sad smile on his lips as he spoke. "No.. Jamie, we can't.."

"Why?"

I don't understand. He's right here, he's alive and okay, we can go back home together, we can be happy together again. I don't have to be alone.

The smile almost becomes more sad if that were even possible. Regulus reaches out his hand to cup James's face, pressing his forehead to James's. His skin ice cold to the touch.

"Because.. I'm dead. I'm only here and back tonight, for you."

James starts to see what everyone else saw - paler than usual skin, deep gashes leaking dark blood covering a once unflawed body, ripped and soaked clothes, messy and waterlogged hair, empty cloudy eyes.

"Reggie.. no.. You can't be.."

"I am so sorry, James."

[Word count: 204]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #regulus black #james x regulus #regulus x james #remus lupin #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Me, after 20 minutes of talking: .... and then, there was this hug and oh my god, the sexual tension just....they're both gay. They're gay for each other and they're so beautiful and tragic and they were separated for 12 years and... *sigh.* Sorry, what did you ask?

An unwilling victim: Um...I asked if you like Harry Potter.

Me: Oh...yeah, I mean a bit.

Me: ...

Me: But his dad, though....

#fr though #extremely relatable lmao

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 28

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: prank)

Marlene almost thought it was a joke - a prank even - from Remus and Sirius, and hell even Regulus was standing in front of them after most of the night of being separated.

James stirred at the noise, he thought he was still dreaming when he saw Regulus standing before him again, reaching out drowsily to him - in which Regulus crouches down next to him, letting James wrap his arms around him like a little kid would, and eventually doing the same himself.

"Good to see you again, Marlene."

"Good to see you too, Remus, Sirius. How the fuck did you find us?"

Sirius pointed at Regulus - "He found you both. Well technically he found James and you just happened to be with James."

I missed you so fucking much. Even though I saw you once today already, I was terrified I'd never see you again.

I missed you too, Jamie. I'm sorry I left again without goodbyes.

[Word count: 157]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #regulus black #marlene mckinnon #sirius black #remus lupin #james x regulus #regulus x james #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 27

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: spooky)

"Regulus says we're gettin' close."

He's been saying that to you for fucking hours. I don't believe either of you anymore, and I will continue to not believe either of you until I actually see evidence of James or Marlene.

Remus doesn't say that out loud though, just nodding and smiling as if he believed it.

How'd I just now notice how weird, and dare I saw spooky, this cemetery is? Fog making it so even if it wasn't pitch black you still wouldn't be able to see a foot in front of your face. Plus that statue Regulus claimed was Dorcas Meadowes - the fuck was a statue of her doing out here? Fuck there were so many graves you couldn't even make out the names of, and even if you could they said shit that couldn't make since.

As they walked on, Remus glanced over at the graves, the one they had all rested near had read, "Lily Potter | 1/30 1960 - 10/31 1981 | Loving wife and mother to James and Harry Potter | May her memory live on forever in our hearts" And that honestly, weirded the absolute hell out of Remus, but it must have been a coincidence, right? Lily was alive and well, unmarried and childless and dating Mary. The one he just glanced at he could have swore read, "Evan Rosier" even though he knew Evan was also alive and well living with Barty. Now it was truly feeling like some fucked up joke.

Half of Remus wanted to believe Sirius came here, before the rest of them, to set all of this shit up, but since things didn't go to plan, they just didn't have a use anymore.

Remus was sucked right out of his thoughts though when the other two stopped.

"What's up?"

"They're here."

Sure enough, Remus looked over and saw Marlene sitting with an asleep James next to her.

[Word count: 315]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #james potter #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar #regulus x james #james x regulus #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 26

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: bad luck)

She's actually asleep.

James watches through tired eyes as Marlene falls into a light sleep. Which James can admit, he is glad she is getting some rest.

This could be my chance. I could run for it. I could try and find Regulus myself since she refuses to help me.

But he doesn't, he thinks about it. Thinks of where to start, what he'd do, and what would happen if he were to find Regulus.

Exhaustion inevitably takes James once more, falling back into a fitful sleep with dreams of Regulus turned nightmares.

Marlene woke up to James's tight grip on her, and his tears soaking through her shirt - all she could do was rub his back and hope he found real rest. Was this how he slept every night? Or is tonight just worse because it brought up old wounds? I feel bad, it's been nothing but bad luck for him for so long, and now when he was looking like he was finally improving, this shit has to happen.

She isn't left long to ponder those thoughts when a twig snaps nearby, and voices are heard.

Sirius and Remus's voices.

[Word count: 188]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #marlene mckinnon #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 25

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: mask)

At some point, Sirius requested a break, and Remus gladly obliged - Regulus following suit.

They sat near a gravestone (which easy to do in a cemetery), resting their legs after walking for nearly all night.

"Regulus, Sirius, how would you both feel if we, I don't know, just waited out the night like I'm sure James and Marlene are."

Remus notices instantly Regulus was far from on board with this idea - glaring absolute daggers into him. Honestly it was one of the first emotions Remus had seen on Regulus tonight, usually hiding behind that mask of no emotions.

"Honestly, I wouldn't hate it, but it's up to Reggie, and clearly he's saying no."

Remus nods in defeat.

After a few more minutes of rest, they get back on their feet, and just like before, followed Regulus.

[Word count: 134]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar #regulus x james #james x regulus #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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"I'm Sorry" Quillkiller Oneshot

Prompt by @sapphicmicrofics (prompt: dark mark)

"Bella! Come back here!"

Bellatrix reluctantly stopped walking away, refusing to look at Rita.

Rita walked up to her, watching her closely as if she barely recognized the woman in front of her.

"Go away Rita."

"No. Not until you tell me what's going on. Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

Bellatrix sighs, how she wishes she could be having any conversation but this one right now.

"You didn't do anything. It- It's complicated, okay?"

"Now I really want to know. We are partners, you can trust me just as I trust you. Bella," Rita cups Bellatrix's face in her hands. "What is going on?"

Rita has only seen Bellatrix cry once or twice, but that didn't stop her from wrapping her in a tight hug and rubbing her back the minute she saw the tears start to fall.

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't be sorry. Crying is natural-"

"No.. I'm sorry."

Bellatrix pulled herself out of Rita's grasp and pulled up her sleeve. Rita shouldn't be surprised, she'd known it as coming for years, but it still broke her heart.

"You got the dark mark.."

"Yes, yes I did."

Rita rewrapped her arms around Bellatrix, as Bellatrix tried to compose herself. She was relieved when she felt Bellatrix's arms wrap around her too.

"We'll figure this out. I promise."

Bellatrix wasn't sure if they could, but nodded anyways.

"I'm not letting anyone take you from me."

And Rita swore on her life to not break that promise.

[Word count: 250]

#quillkiller #rita x bellatrix #bellatrix x rita #bellatrix black #rita skeeter #sapphicmicrofics #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 24

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: spirit)

Oh thank god, he's finally asleep.. At least, I hope he's sleeping, either way he's resting at the very least.

Marlene was watching James as he fell asleep, keeping watch over him - praying to whatever was above that James didn't randomly take off running to find Regulus or the others.

As Marlene watched, she noticed James's hand, noticed how he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. The hell? I would think he got over Regulus but today's events truly prove otherwise. Maybe he just forgot to put it on, or dropped it. Still odd 'cause James would never lose something so precious to him, but clearly James is sort of out of it today.

I myself should probably try and sleep too.. Just trust that James won't book it running the second I try to sleep.

Marlene laid down on the dirt next to James - Gods it's freezing. I really should have worn my coat. - and tried to rest, closing her eyes and hoping sleep would take her for an hour or so.

As they continued their walk following the spirit of Regulus, Remus was getting more and more unsure of if Regulus was even trying to take them to the others. Yes, Regulus wanted James, but I would think he'd book it straight to James if he knew his location.

Sirius's hand tightened its grip on Remus's, and Remus squeezed back, offering them reassurance he didn't have.

If only we still had the lantern, or literally any source of light, then this presumably would be so much easier.

But Remus had very little options right now as proven several times, and he knew Sirius wouldn't abandon Regulus for anything and he didn't want to abandon Sirius - so he continued walking.

[Word count: 288]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #marlene mckinnon #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Reblog if you want your followers to ask you anything they're curious about.

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 23

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: shadow)

Remus had never really seen Sirius so jumpy, well, outside of 12 Grimmauld Place that is. If Regulus wasn't here, Remus would have insisted Sirius rest for the night and he would keep watch.

It seemed like every shadow, every noise that they didn't know the exact source of, made them jump and/or grip Remus's hand tighter.

Honestly, Remus didn't blame them either, growing up the way they did, and with no real light to tell where any of them were going, the fear is understandable.

Regulus at least seemed to know where he was going, either that or it was false confidence to make the them believe he knew where the hell they were going. In Remus's option, both seemed likely at this rate.

Okay, now I'm getting worried. What if something happened to Prongs? Or Marlene? I trust Reggie but gods at this rate-

Sirius had to force themselves to not think of the 'what ifs' - for it would only freak them out more.

Reg, please, I'm trusting you, after so many years of untrust, please don't make me have a reason not to trust you again. Please find them.

Almost as if he heard, Regulus made a small nod at Sirius.

Thank you, brother.

[Word count: 203]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #sirius black #regulus black #remus lupin #james potter #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar #regulus x james #james x regulus #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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i talk so much about canon barty on here and i realized i never draw him so… here he is 🤲🐍🐍

unbloody under the cut + some headcanons!

alright i officially looked at this too much and now i hate it but. anyway! i like to think that being under imperius for so long started to fade his eyes grey. and it’s really unsettling to look at up close

#oh my god this is incredible #and the headcanon *chef's kiss* love it #the art is gorgeous as always #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 22

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: dead)

Regulus was there. Marlene just doesn't understand. And why is she gripping my arm so tightly? Does she think I'm going to run after him?

She just doesn't know what she's talking about. Regulus was standing there, alive and real, not dead and made up in my head.

"Is he still there now?"

"No."

Marlene sighs - maybe now she'll listen to me. Accept the fact I was right.

"James," Marlene starts - If you are just going to call me a liar I'm not going to listen.

"James, I believe you." You sound very unsure of yourself Marlene. You are just trying to shut me up, aren't you?

"I saw him whilst here too, so I can believe he is still here. James, I just can't see him, so please be patient with me."

James says nothing before reluctantly nodding.

"Alright, thank you. Since we probably won't be able to find the others when it's this dark and this foggy, we are going to wait out the night, then continue our search when it's morning. Sound good to you?"

No. Reggie's out there, I need to find him again. The others' can wait, Sirius has Remus and Remus has Sirius to keep each other sane, they won't disappear on one another; Regulus could leave at any point without goodbyes just like last time.

After a long pause, "Fine. Sounds good to me." I hate to lie but she won't listen to me if I don't.

"Good. Get some rest James, you look like you need it."

[Word count: 247]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #marlene mckinnon #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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Lost or just yet to be found - pt 21

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: petrified)

Turns out, they did not stop due to finding the others, the stopped because of a statue of all things.

Carved to look like a human screaming - presumably in pain; it looked strangely familiar. Remus had questions about it, but he and hopefully Sirius knew too that they didn't have all the time in the world to stare at some statue.

"Reggie? Why'd we stop?"

Regulus didn't say anything, merely staring intently at the statue. It was at least five minutes before Regulus turned and whispered into Sirius's ear.

"Oh.."

Sirius leaned over and murmured to Remus - "Dorcas Meadowes.."

Oh.

Whatever questions Remus already had about the statue, he now had more. Like, why the fuck was Dorcas's body out here, turned to stone?

Remus didn't know what to say. A part of him just wanted to grab Regulus and Sirius and continue walking, for Regulus was back to staring, almost petrified, at the statue - but the other half of him screamed to just let Regulus have his minute.

Remus gratefully doesn't have to decide, for a few minutes later Regulus had resumed his walking, his jaw set and almost determined to not look at the statue.

Gods fucking above let us just find the others soon so we can leave. And please no more weird shit.

[Word count: 212]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #marlene mckinnon #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

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It's going to be okay

TW:

nothing too graphic, But, the whole fic is basically about suicide and dealing with your loved one doing it. There is also a scene where a character cuts themselves, but it's not graphic, just a few sentences

If you get triggered easily, find something else to read, or think before reading

Sort of modern au

Word count: 3 800

“Sirius?” Euphemia said, as she opened the door to the guest bedroom that had been made to be his room now that he lived with the Potters. He looked at her, sitting up on the bed as she walked over. “I have some news for you.” She said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She didn't sound like her normal self, but Sirius couldn't quite tell what it was, something was just off. She had this look on her face that Sirius couldn’t really place.

“Okay.” He breathed out, some panic slipping into his tone as he started to think about what it could be.

“It's about your brother.” Euphemia started, not sure how she could say something like that, she just didn't know, but she knew she had to deliver the news, it was only right. “Regulus has- he has passed away.” She said simply, a small tear almost slipping out from her eye, but she blinked it back.

Sirius just stared at her, his eyes widening, probably in shock. “Oh. Okay.” He whispered slowly. Euphemia hadn't expected this kind of reaction, she had thought Sirius' would've started crying, or something like that, but he didn't seem to have any other response than that. He just looked at her in disbelief, for several minutes, before looking away, staring at the wall across from his bed.

“Sirius -”

“How do you know?” He asked, still not believing what he was told. How could he be dead? They had talked over the phone last night, and it seemed like everything was okay because usually Sirius could tell if something was bothering his little brother, and he was usually pretty open about those things, to Sirius. But last night he seemed happy, he was laughing and joking, so Sirius just didn’t understand.

“Monty got a call just now, he didn’t say who, but I’m guessing one of your parents.” She explained gently, repeating what Fleamont had just told her. Sirius nodded, but didn’t look at her. He felt weird, like all the air had been forced out of his lungs suddenly, but he was still able to breathe. Weirdly, he didn’t feel like crying, he didn’t feel the tears in his eyes because they weren’t there. He was supposed to be crying, right? “He said that they found his body this morning in his bedroom.” She said, thinking Sirius would like to know, she wished he could tell him more, but she just didn’t know.

“Okay.”

“I'm so sorry, Sirius.” He nodded again, leaning his head against the wall and looking up at the ceiling.

“Don't be Effie.” Sirius whispered, glancing at her only for a second, but enough to see her sad expression and the tears threatening to fall. She was almost crying at this, but still, he wasn't. He didn't understand the whole point of apologizing when someone has died. It was stupid in his opinion, he didn't even know why he hated that phrase so much, he always had. “Can I-. Can I be alone?”

She hesitated for a moment before answering. “Of course.” She said, getting up from her spot. “I'll be back later, okay?” Sirius just nodded before she left his room.

He just sat there without really thinking of anything, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't know what he was supposed to think about, it was like his mind had just gone blank all of a sudden and everything had slowed down. It felt strange, that was about the only word he could think of to describe this feeling. He was feeling so many feelings at the same time, but nothing at all, his eyes burning, but no tears came out. It felt unreal, like a nightmare, and he’d soon open his eyes and he could sigh in relief and reassure himself by saying it was just a dream. But that moment never came, meaning it wasn’t a dream but reality, which he definitely didn’t want it to be, he never wanted it to be.

When he heard a knock on the door, he jumped slightly, but didn’t move to look who it was, he already knew it was Euphemia. Sirius knew it was her, firstly based on the gentleness of the knock, secondly on the fact that he remembered that she had said that she’d come back later. Euphemia slowly opened the door, peeking his head into the room, frowning when she saw that Sirius had barely moved. He was still sitting with his back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, though his knees were now tucked up to his chest.

She went to sit down next to the boy on the bed, leaning her back against the wall, Sirius turned to look at her, laying his head on his knees to look at her better. “Do you want to talk?” Sirius shook his head. “That's okay.” She smiled softly, reaching to brush a loose curl behind his ear, wanting to provide him with at least some type of comfort.

“Effie?” Sirius whispered after a while, and she hummed, smiling at him. “Can I get a hug?” He asked, looking at her with hopeful eyes, he wasn't used to asking for it when he wanted a hug or something. But he had been told it's okay to ask for comfort from both Euphemia and Fleamont, and his friends, so he asked, hoping he wasn’t doing the wrong thing. Her expression softened even more at his question, the sixteen-year-old looked really young there, asking to be comforted.

Euphemia didn't say anything, but just opened her arms, and wrapped them around Sirius when he leaned against her, his head resting on her chest. “It's a bit confusing, isn't it?” Sirius nodded, closing his eyes. “It's okay, though, whatever it is that you're feeling, I promise that it's okay and normal.” She said, knowing how Sirius had probably already convinced himself that he was doing something wrong.

“You can cry, Sirius, if you feel like it. But it's okay if you don't or can't. It's all okay. There’s nothing wrong about not crying, just like there’s not with crying.” She said, and Sirius nodded, feeling his breathing hitch just slightly at her words. “You know there's no wrong way to feel about it, it's all okay.”

Sirius nodded, letting out a shaky breath as he felt her hand rubbing down on his upper arm, comforting him just like a mother would. It was quiet for a long time, there were no words to be said in, no words would help the ever-growing sadness that had made its home in his chest, making it feel tight. It felt like it was hard to breathe, even though he was breathing fine, just like normal, but it didn’t feel normal.

“What-?” Sirius asked quietly after a while, coughing to get rid of the dryness in his throat, so he could get the words out. “What happened?”

“I don’t know that much, Sirius, I wish I did.” She said sadly, and Sirius nodded, screwing his eyes shut again. “If I knew, I'd tell you.” She whispered, starting to play with his hair to comfort him the best she could. Sirius nodded again. “Maybe you should call your mother.”

“N-no.”

“You don’t have to, but she knows more than I do.” Sirius didn’t answer, but leaned closer to her, just a bit. “But you don’t have to do it now, or ever. I can call her for you and ask if you'd like.”

Sirius lifted his head to look up at Euphemia, she smiled gently. “Really?” He asked, looking at her with his eyes wide. She nodded. “Thank you, Effie.”

She nodded again, pulling him for a hug before getting up from his bed. “Do you need something? Someone?” She asked knowingly, Sirius blushed slightly, and nodded. “First thing tomorrow, okay? It’s already late.” He nodded again, looking at her before she left the room.

Sirius grabbed his phone from the bedside table to check the time, he swiped away all the notifications, not feeling like talking to anyone or checking any of them, then he set his phone back down. He laid down onto the bed, pulling the blanket over his feet, continuing to look up at the ceiling.

He traced along the oak planks with his eyes, going over every single different colored spot he could find in the semi dark room, there was a small lamp turned on, but it didn’t give that much light. Then he looked out of the window, it was a clear night, and he could see some stars, very little but still some. He traced along the few constellations he could see, trying to remember every star and their meaning, he did remember most. As he went over each one, his eyes started to fall shut without his permission, Sirius jolted awake every now and then, before finally falling asleep around one in the morning.

Sirius opened the door of Regulus’ bedroom, peeking his head in. He saw Regulus sitting cross-legged at the foot of his bed playing with something in his hand, but he didn’t seem to notice Sirius walking in and over to the bed. He never looked up from the object, just kept twirling it in his hands. Sirius looked down at it, recognizing it as the small knife Regulus had kept hidden under his mattress, it was the one he usually used when he-

Sirius was pulled out of his train of thought when Regulus’ head snapped up, and he looked directly at Sirius, right in the eyes. Sirius' eyes widened as he looked at his brother, or this version of him. It didn’t look like his sweet and kind baby brother. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles, like bruises underneath them, he looked as if he hadn’t slept properly for weeks. His cheekbones were sticking out more than usual, and Sirius felt something sting his heart when he noticed that his collarbones did the same thing, like he hadn’t eaten in weeks either. Regulus’ skin looked sunken and more pale than Sirius had ever seen it be.

He just continued staring at Sirius, not blinking or looking away. He didn’t say anything but kept playing with the blade in his hands. Sirius swallowed thickly, trying to speak, but no words came out. He looked down, seeing Regulus’ sleeves stained with blood, dark spots appearing on the green knit fabric, staining and dampening it even further. Sirius looked back at him, seeing that Regulus’ hadn’t still shifted his gaze, still staring at him in the eyes. Sirius shuddered at this all too familiar sight, trying to speak again, but either the words didn’t come out at all or Regulus just didn’t hear him.

Without looking away from Sirius, he pulled the blade up to his wrist, and he screamed, looking at Regulus and crying out. But his silent begging and pleading did nothing to stop the blood from flowing down, staining the white bedsheets with red. He cried and screamed and sobbed and begged him to stop, even tried to help, but nothing he did helped, and still Regulus didn’t tear his gaze away, just kept looking at Sirius.

“It’s your fault, Sirius.” He heard Regulus whisper softly. His sounded so soft and delicate, just like normal, it sounded like Regulus, his Regulus. But the words cut deeper than any knife ever could, Sirius stared at him in disbelief, begging him to stop again as Regulus brought the blade up, slowly.

Sirius opened his eyes, letting out a loud sob as soon as he realized it had been a dream. He hid his face into his pillow, trying his best to muffle the cries and sobs he was unable to hold back. Even after he was calmed down enough and back in this reality, he wasn’t able to wipe off the image of Regulus and the blood staining the white bedsheets. He couldn’t wipe off the words either, they kept echoing in his head even though he tried his best to will them away.

“It’s your fault, Sirius”

“Your fault, Sirius”

“your fault, Sirius”

“Your fault”

“Sirius”

The soft, quiet whisper kept repeating itself as he got up from his bed without even really realizing that he was doing it. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves as he reached James’ door just across the hall, as if on autopilot as he lifted his hand to knock quietly. He stared at the door nervously hoping his dream wouldn’t repeat itself somehow, he hoped he wasn’t dreaming again. He didn’t want to see that, ever again.

The door opened in a matter of seconds, and he was immediately pulled into a hug by James. He cried into James’ chest, who wrapped his arms more tightly around Sirius’ shaking form, rubbing his arm, trying to comfort him the best he could. He had heard the quiet whimpering and pleads of wanting something to stop from across the hall, but he didn’t want to go over, knowing Sirius liked his privacy and he’d come out if he wanted to.

“I’m so sorry.” He cried, though it was muffled by the way his face was hidden in James’ t-shirt. “Wasn’t my fault, I promise. I-I didn’t mean to, I didn’t. James I swear.” Sirius said, frantically shaking his head, looking up at James to show that he was being honest, though more tears just kept spilling out.

“It’s okay, Sirius. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t worry.” He soothed, swaying them back and forth just a little. “You haven’t done anything, none of this is your fault, padfoot.” Sirius just nodded, wiping his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears, but they kept falling. “Wanna come to my room for the rest of the night?” He asked, and Sirius hesitated, before shaking his head, not wanting to bother James, it was a stupid idea to come here i n the first place.

“No, m’fine.”

“Sirius?” he whispered, rubbing his arm to get his attention. Having known him for years at this point, he knew in times like this Sirius thought he was a bother, a burden to bear, even though he wasn’t and James definitely didn’t mind being there for Sirius when Remus couldn’t be. Because he knew Remus was the one Sirius wanted to go to whenever something came up, or he was upset, James wasn’t sure why, but he had his guesses. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be alone.”

“But y-you need to sleep.” he reasoned, pulling fully away from James and shaking the hand off from his shoulder. “I-it’s almost morning anyway, it’s alright.” he said with a small ingenuine smile, as he wrapped his arms around himself.

“It’s four in the morning, we don’t have to sleep, let’s just talk, or not, we can watch a movie or a show, whatever you want. But maybe not alone, yeah?” he suggested, making Sirius look up at him again.

“No, no, it’s fine, Jamey.” He whispered. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but I’ll just go back to bed.” He said, quickly leaving from the doorway and shutting himself back into his bedroom before James could say anything in protest. He turned on the bedside lamp to let light into the room, then he sat down on his bed, tucking his knees up to his chest and hitting his forehead on them.

The dream wouldn’t stop repeating, Sirius wasn’t even sure if he was remembering it correctly anymore or had his mind made the images even worse. He thought about Regulus as he sat there, Sirius couldn’t quite wrap his head around the thought that he simply wasn’t here anymore, but that he died. When the shock from waking up from a nightmare died down, so did the tears. He felt so stupid for not crying because of Regulus but because of a stupid dream.

It didn’t take long until the door of his bedroom opened slowly with a quiet creak, he looked up from his knees, seeing James peek in. “Can I come in?” He asked hesitantly, and Sirius nodded, leaning against the wall as James shut the door and came to sit next to him on the bed. “I can go away if you really want to be alone.”

Sirius shook his head, leaning it against James’ shoulder. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“No.”

“That’s alright.” He whispered. “I’m guessing you don’t want to go back to sleep?”

“Can’t”

James nodded, trying to think what to say, though he was pretty sure there was nothing he could say or do to make it better, even if he wanted to. But still, he felt like he had to say something, just something, it wouldn’t matter what, but still, he couldn’t think of what to say. In the end he found nothing to say and just stayed quiet, eventually falling asleep, though he didn’t mean to.

Sirius kept his eyes closed, but he didn’t sleep, he was just thinking. The thoughts would not leave him alone, no matter how much he tried to will them away, when one awful thought went away, another one came in. He slowly got up from bed, trying not to wake James. He made his way down the stairs, grabbing his jacket as he went outside. He sat down onto the porch, pulling out the pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

He watched as the sun rose, painting the sky in beautiful colors, hiding away all the stars and taking the darkness away. Sirius watched the first light pink colors turn into brighter ones, and then into red and from red to orange. He wanted to scream and shout and be mad at someone, or something. But there was no one, no one he could blame, no one he could be angry at, just no one, he felt like crying too, but still no tears would fall.

When the orange colors started to turn into yellows, he got up, stuffing the much emptier pack of cigarettes and the lighter into the pockets of his jacket, and putting it back where he took it as he got inside. He looked at the stairs, not feeling like he wanted to go back into his bedroom, so he turned the other way and went into the kitchen, starting to make tea for himself.

When he was done, he sat down at the table, continuing to watch the sunrise from the window. He glanced at the clock now and then as he drank his tea, it was a little over seven when Euphemia came into the kitchen too, making coffee for herself before sitting across from him.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“A bit.”

“That’s good.” She said. “Do you want something for breakfast? More tea? Anything.” Sirius shook his head. “Okay.”

“Is-?” He said after a while, but stopped to rephrase his thoughts. “Can Remus come over today? Because last night you said.”

“Hope is dropping him off while she's going to work, don't worry.” She smiled, and Sirius nodded. “Should be soon, I think she said she has to be at work at eight or eight thirty, I'm not sure.”

“Okay.” He smiled slightly, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Thank you Effie.” He whispered quietly, and she smiled back at him.

“I'm going to call your mum later today, if you still want me to.” Sirius nodded. “Is there something you want me to ask?”

“Just um, what happened.” She nodded, Sirius tried to think of what else he wanted to ask, there were so many questions running through his mind, but he knew that his mother wouldn't answer any of them. Especially not if she knew it was he who asked them.

James came downstairs just as someone knocked on the door, Sirius got up, going to open the door. He immediately wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, hiding his face into his chest. “Hi love.” He whispered, rubbing Sirius' back.

“Hi.”

“C'mon let's go inside, it's freezing out here.” He chuckled, taking a few steps in, though Sirius still didn't let go of him, just walked backwards. “You gotta let go of me, so I can take off my shoes. Just for a moment, there you go.”

“Can we go upstairs?” Sirius asked quietly as Remus shook off his jacket.

“Yeah of course.” He smiled, taking Sirius' hand and letting himself be led upstairs into his bedroom. “Cuddles?” He asked, sitting down onto the bed, dropping his bag onto the floor, Sirius nodded.

Remus sat with his back against the headboard, and Sirius climbed in next to him, resting his head onto Remus' chest. “I missed you, moony.” He whispered, they hadn't seen each other in a while, and he had just missed him.

“I've missed you too, baby.” He said, kissing Sirius' head, before starting to play with his hair, trying to gently solve out the knots. “Do you want to talk?” Remus asked after a while, but Sirius shook his head. “that's alright.”

Eventually, Remus ended up reading the book out loud to Sirius he had brought with him. It was calming, having something to listen to, it didn't stop the thoughts but slowed them down at least a little.

It was a few hours later when Sirius heard his name being called from downstairs, he lifted his head up, looking at Remus when he stopped reading. He looked scared, and Remus didn't really know what to say, so he just gave him an encouraging smile and a small nod. Sirius nodded back, getting up from bed and walking downstairs.

When Sirius came back up into his bedroom, he leaned against the door once he closed the door, wiping his eyes though the tears kept falling. “Come here.” Remus whispered softly, holding his hand out for Sirius to take, when he took it, Remus pulled him into the bed and into a hug.

Sirius cried, clutching Remus' jumper tightly, as if to make sure that he wouldn't go away too. He just stayed there, holding Sirius close and rubbing up and down in a slow rhythm. They didn't say anything, there just wasn't anything to be said.

When Sirius looked up at Remus, he gently wiped away the tears and leaned to kiss his forehead. “I love you, Sirius.” He whispered, as Sirius hid his face back into Remus' neck. “it's going to be okay, eventually.”

AN:

Hi, I hope you're well. But anyway, wow I posted something, hopefully it was good and you liked it :)

The ending is not the best, but I was just struggling with it and really wanted to post this today, and I hope the whole story makes sense, but anyway

See you

#sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #fluff and angst #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #regulus black #james potter #microfic #holy shit this is really good

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

Text

Lost or just yet to be found - pt 20

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: haunted)

How James is able to sleep like this is a complete mystery to Marlene. Maybe all that crying truly made him that tired.

However it was possible, Marlene could see that it did not seem like a restful sleep, seemingly haunted by unknown atrocities in dreams; near constant moving, making some sort of noise, his grip tightening on Marlene's shirt - honestly it was a wonder he was asleep in the first place.

She didn't dare wake him up though, as bad as his dreams seemed to be, James needed rest. It would be a long day tomorrow if he didn't.

It was maybe twenty minutes of so called ''''rest'''' before James jolts awake.

So much for that plan.

"James? Are you alright?"

"..Regulus?"

"No, it's me, Marlene.. Regulus isn't here-"

"Regulus."

Marlene looks over to where James is staring.

"James.. There isn't anyone there."

James shakes his head, clearly set on the fact Regulus there when Marlene couldn't see anything but the gloomy cemetery.

"James.."

"What?"

"You're seeing things.. Regulus isn't there.."

[Word count: 160]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #marlene mckinnon #regulus black #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

Text

Lost or just yet to be found - pt 19

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: scared)

"So, um, Reggie, how much further would you say?"

Sirius would never admit it, but without light and path, and it being basically pitch black, they were starting to get scared.

Sirius could practically hear Regulus's eyeroll and 'dear brother, either trust my judgement or wait out the night with Remus in the cold.'

They keep following Regulus; it had been so many years, and it had ended in such a bad way, Sirius wanted to make emends with whatever time they had left together.

They all had to be getting close, right? At least moving and believing your making progress is better than waiting and knowing that no progress was going to be made except for the sun and moon's.

Remus's hand had found it's way back into Sirius's - this time neither let go. Silent reassurance was needed right about now.

Then they stopped. Well Regulus stopped which meant the other two stopped as well.

"Regulus? Did you find them?"

[Word count: 156]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #sirius black #regulus black #remus lupin #james potter #marlene mckinnon #wolfstar #regulus x james #james x regulus #microfic

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kittykatkatelol2 · 6 months

Text

Lost or just yet to be found - pt 18

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: treat)

It took a long while, but eventually, James ran out of tears to cry - just now looking exhausted and kind of dead inside.

Marlene felt bad, she wished she could just take him back home so he can sleep, maybe eat some dinner as well - but no. They were stuck in a cemetery probably until morning, and even then they would still have to find the Sirius and Remus.

James was clearly too tired to continue on, and Marlene really couldn't blame him in the slightest. They'd agreed to wait out the night and then in the morning they could go find the others when it's light out.

Marlene took out the only treat in her pocket--a small candy bar--and split it in half to share wish James; who gratefully took it and ate the small bite.

"We might as well get comfortable - I doubt we'll find anyone in this dark and flashlight's long dead."

To get comfortable whilst on the hard ground in the freezing cold, with nothing to keep most of you warm, is a fairly hard task, but they manage to find what little warmth they could in each other and tried to sleep.

This already is and it's only going to continue to be, a long night.

[Word count: 211]

#jegulus #jegulus microfic #james potter #marlene mckinnon #sirius black #remus lupin #regulus black #regulus x james #james x regulus #wolfstar #microfic

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