justhellacesome
Reblog and Brainrot
Hella is my name! Welcome People who had sleep and those that needs sleep!This is an Audhd, AroAce, InFp-T Multifandom Galor with the occasional thoughts and brainrot. Dont follow me into the pit unless your bringing candles to burn it down with me.
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~♡ Candy Land ♡~
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people has resting bitch face while I have a resting sad face.
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i wake up every damn day without alarm, i look at the time and its 9:37am exact. How the fuck
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the things is I realized my childhood was the peak of my childhood romance.
Cuz when I was six years old and a first grader (finally. after they asked me to repeat kindergarten twice)
I had a crush on a boy named Brian. I liked him a lot. But never really acted upon it other than not talking to him until my best friend, CK, (whos on the cusp of gay(trans) awakening at six years old that she ask us to call her KC) tried to tease me about it with the others.
They told him as snitches does and I didnt deny it, I didnt let them tease me and actually said that I did to his face. (It was the best decision I did then)
They asked me why I liked him when no one else did, because his bottom lip the right side looked like it was healing from a bee sting,
It wasnt, it was just a little lumpy but that didnt matter to me when he looked the kindest than the rest of them, more than Richard or Eugene and everyone else I cant quite remember the name.
And I was right. Because after that I learned Ck (Her name is Clark Kent! I never really understood it before but i think its hilarious now) was family with our next door neighbors when one day I was outside and heard him knocking on an empty house. And he lived just a minute outside of school.
I lived behind the school a block around.
And Brian lived at my streets end but I never did find out where. Ck knows but I never went because when CK and Brian and I would go home together after class.
I was always the first they would drop at home. So we all could change clothes and drop our bags. Before they would walk by and pick me up in our bikes.
At this time Ive learned how to ride a bike (After borrowing my neighbors and almost crashing into a canal and hitting my neigbors leg when they waked by and I did the know how to turn or break)
Ck rather likes to stay at home, but brian and I would ride our bikes in the neighborhood, back to our school and visiting a classmate who invited us to visit her house. Going to the park and circling the basketball court and the playground. We would ride our bikes everyday or whenever we could.
Brian would always be outside to pick me up at home.
One day, we made our first move away. Just a couples blocks away.
But when I went to school Brian told me he came to my house but I wasnt there. (My heart fell when I heard it. At the same time it made me happy)
Cuz I went home, and nobody else was home other than our babysitter and my baby brother. (
(And at this time Kids were left unsupervised as long as we get home by dark, or atleast playing right where out front the house where our parents could see us and call us home for dinner.)
(I think, looking back, I was really the youngest of the neighborhood kids, not counting our baby brothers)
So I would take the bike lock key from the hiding place my grandma put it (at the highest shelf where they thought i couldn't monkey climb my way up on)
and I would just run out and bike away.
I biked to school. (realizing how dangerous it was to leave a six year old to bike the neighborhood blocks away. I saw the bike years later and it was the small bmw and it used to be like a mountain bike for me then. I was tiny
And met brian. I lead him to my new house and friends and after that. He would also pick me up from there. Blocks away and Id see him outside.
Not everyday but often enough it stuck with me.
and it was a happy day whenever we did. I was happy whenever we could. I loved riding the bike and going exploring and playing with friends outside.
I was happy.
But One night, my mom and dad told us that we were going to visit my grandma downtown. Because we had just opened a business there and they rented a house.
I remember we left after we ate, the dishes unwashed in the sink, we expected to come back.
We never did.
And just like that, I remember when Brian went to my first house and couldn't find me, and I thought Brian would come back to my house again. And We never came back again.
I didnt get to say my goodbye as we just disappeared in the middle of the night.
I realize it years later that yeah. Baby kiddy me had more friends and fun going on when she hasnt known the feeling of having to leave wvery few years and never making friends to play with outside again.
Having a crush was also an empty need to just choose someone because everyone else had one.
But Brian, I still havent seen you again. I wanna say sorry and say hi, i hope wherever you are your doing alright and that im so glad you knew because you are one of the sweetest memories I have.
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Oh no, oh no, he is seducing me with his deep passion for his field of study and his genuine joy at teaching people about it
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i've drawn enough of them. be free now. go. into the wild with you all
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every day i get up and get hit by a car and get isekaied to work. then eight hours later i get hit by a car and get isekaied back home again. it sucks but my commute is really short
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Guy who fakes his death every time he gets mildly embarrassed about something he did
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watching my videos at 2x because its so slow but its still so slow even when I do. But also its easier because atleast now my brain is syncing with it
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Go ahead, Put anything.
It says tauntingly, tempting me. What must I put here I wonder? The whole Lore of every oc Ive ever created? Every art I have drawn no matter how shitty it is? Every random thought and philosphical realizations and discovery? Conspiracy theories? Compliments and vents?Every random incomplete fanfic no matter how horrible it is?
Anything it says, Go ahead.
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why must i avoid things when i hate them(math) rather than taking a different approach that works for me (actual 3d visualization that makes it easier to create an image in my head rather than empty words on screen or paper. )
#math#school#they teach it shit#i need visuals#i need 3d visuals#give me#real life applications than empty formulas
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I have now discovered my appreciation for a good working muscles rather than gym muscles. They are lovely to observe at work, Wish to draw. Still ace though so dont mistake. I just have good working eyes and A pretty person is a pretty person cannot deny
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you guys saw that reverse long nail that has scifi coded into it? its awesome looking
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i dont wanna be the protagonist nor the villain I wanna be the character that haunts the narrative
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I wish to be soft, but soft like temptation till you fall asleep in my arms not knowing Im a mimic who shall give you your " goodnights rest"
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(english butler voice) Will you be making an attempt on your life this evening, sir?
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