Elsie was born "leaning in."

From the first, I've wanted to get into your diapers.

Who you calling "bossy"?

You're such a good friend, I'd share my last roll of toilet paper with you.

For the remainder of her life, she was convinced size does matter.

Clyde and Morton are still working out the bugs in their cure for baldness.

Sometimes, we need something bigger than a diaper to handle all the poop life throws at us.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

George Bernard Shaw

Typography art.  YOU. ME. My love, lambkins, schmoopy, love bug, pookie, soul mate, baby cakes, dearest, sweetkin, hot stuff, honey, smoochie poochie, heart throb, sugar britches, best friend, cutie-pie, babe, cuddles, darlin', true love, hunny bunny, lover. 

Every time I pretend to be a badass, God gives me a wedgie.

I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.

--Saki

Toilet etiquette. SIT. WIPE. FLUSH. WASH.

I've got to get a new mattress.

Make your excuses for not calling, being irritable, being a jerk, not showing up, etc. First they'll laugh and then, maybe, they'll forgive you.

“There's an old joke — um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know...and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life — full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.”

— Woody Allen, Annie Hall

I like us, in spite because of our differences.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

--Jack Handy

Joe, understandably, enjoyed knowing he had the biggest head.