iveleftitwithyou
look after my heart
new blog :) | 21f | mostly twilight with some other stuff
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this is an amazing analysis of this love triangle. it does raise a question in my mind - if bella and jacob ended up together and were to have kids, would jacob imprint on their child? if jacob wants to be with bella because of the imprint, but does not have these feelings with edward who is essentially the other half of renesmee, is it just bella’s fertilized egg that he is attached to? can you imprint on your own family member?
much to think about.
the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.
if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.
choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.
if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.
even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.
Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.
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I keep putting off starting New Moon. One, because I’ve been kinda busy. But more importantly two, because not only are we losing Edward’s POV with Midnight Sun being done, but we’re also losing him as a character! Within like the first two chapters he’s gonna dip, and we’re just left with mist Edward!
#this was exactly how i felt about new moon too#until i realized how much better of a story the wolf pack is#and now i just read/watch new moon for their parts
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TWILIGHT • 1rst night
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Making a meme out of every line in Twilight (Meme 598)
Please follow us on Facebook @ makingamemeoutofeverylineintwilight and on Instagram at memeofeverylineintwilight
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i’m watching eclipse right now and i can’t get over edward’s boring ass reaction to bella kissing jacob. he’s such a simp he was just kinda like “meh 🤷♂️” like i would NOT let that slide
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adjustment | edward cullen x reader
hey besties!!! this is me finally (partially) fulfilling the request for reader visiting Bella from Arizona and becoming Edward's mate! i really tried to keep this in one part but it's definitely going to end up being two or three because i write too much. writing Edward is difficult when you're not a 108-year-old brooding man, so i hope i did him justice. anyways, hope you enjoy!
warnings: none
word count: 1.1k
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it was a dreary day in Forks, like it almost always is. the patter of raindrops on the windows, the whir of the espresso makers, and the quiet chatter of the baristas and other patrons made the small coffee shop a popular place when the skies decided to open up on the small town.
Edward was sat at a small two-person table in the back corner of the shop, back to the wall as he alternated between reading his copy of Pride and Prejudice for the thousandth time and people-watching. it was all so interesting to him - the way the humans gossiped about their least favorite coworker or vented about their relationship issues. he wasn’t necessarily interested in the actual stories they told, but in the gravity of them. these issues were so small, so easily solvable, and he chuckled internally as he wished that Jennifer from accounting not leaving him alone in the break room was his biggest problem.
a soft chime rang through the small shop as the door opened and a figure ducked in quickly, obviously trying to find solace from the rain in the warm structure - Isabella Swan. he knew her from school - she was part of Mike Newton’s pack. pretty, but unremarkable, like all of her peers. the other girls in the pack, Jessica and Angela, evoked the same feeling as Isabella (and the rest of the school, for that matter) did: disinterest. he didn’t care to read her thoughts as she began to decide her order.
Edward often considered his sibling’s relationships; Rosalie and Emmett were a perfect match, the stereotypical beauty queen and jock. and Alice and Jasper were perfect for each other (of course, Alice knew that from the beginning). but he was all alone. it periodically crossed his mind that he should feel sad about this, but he never did - not until the coffee shop door opened again and she walked in.
she couldn’t have gone to school with him - he was sure he would have noticed her. the girl slowly closed the coffee shop door, looking relieved when her eyes found Isabella standing near the counter.
relieved?
it was at that moment that Edward realized there was a complete lack of thoughts coming from her. he watched as she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, staring at the chalkboard menu posted above the register. it was apparent the girl was having thoughts, he just couldn’t hear them. Edward tried his best to focus solely on the girl, to hear anything from her, but he continued to come up short. how could this be?
he observed as the girl ordered, smiling at the cashier and handing him a stack of one-dollar bills. he handed her the change, and she dropped it all in the tip jar below. she and Isabella retreated to a small table to wait for their drinks, chatting about people with names Edward didn’t recognize.
“did you hear that Chelsea Kennedy is pregnant?” the unfamiliar girl gossipped, leaning in as she spoke.
“what? who’s kid is it? Tyler Fisher’s?”
“that’s the thing - it’s actually his brother Zach’s!” the sound of the girls’ laughter filled his ears as he eavesdropped. it was hard to do when you have stronger hearing than most.
he still couldn’t get a read on her. Isabella’s mind was alive with visions of the three protagonists of their conversation, picturing the pregnant girl and who he assumed was the brother holding hands in the hallways of what seemed to be her old high school. still, nothing from the other girl.
maybe he just needed to be closer to her. he’d never needed proximity before, but he was more willing to hold onto hope that that would be the solution than admit that his gift didn’t work on this one girl.
before he knew it, he was up from his chair, approaching the table. “Isabella? i’m sorry to bother you, but i was wondering if i could ask you a question about the Romeo and Juliet essay for Mr. Banner’s class?”
“it’s just Bella, but, um, sure- yeah, what’s up?” she was stunned that he was speaking to her. she was well aware that he rarely initiated conversation with anyone. why is he talking to me? does he think i’m cute? oh god, my hair is probably so messed up from the rain. i hope he doesn’t think-
he cut her thoughts off, patience wearing thin as he still heard nothing from the girl across the table. “i was just wondering if you thought symbolism was a strong enough literary device for me to discuss in my essay. i’ve been going back and forth between that and foreshadowing.” he put on his best human-pleasing voice and smile, maintaining eye contact with Isabella. of course, he knew there was plenty of symbolism in the play, and he would have no problem writing about it for the essay.
“there’s a lot of symbolism in the play. i think you should go with that.” she replied simply, thoughts still reeling as Edward tried to ignore them. finally, he thought, he was able to turn his attention to the other girl.
“i’m sorry, let me introduce myself, i didn’t mean to be rude. my name is Edward Cullen. i haven’t seen you around here before. what is your name?” the same human-pleasing demeanor was on full display now.
the girl blushed in - embarrassment? shame? nervousness? he didn’t know, and it was killing him. “my name is y/n. it’s nice to meet you.”
“ah, y/n. that’s a beautiful name. how do you know Bella?” he remembered to call her the right name this time. of course, he had already figured out the pair likely went to school together before Isabella moved to Forks, but he figured he should let her tell him that.
“we went to high school together in Phoenix. my parents are moving to Japan for a year for my dad’s work, so i’m staying with her and Charlie until they get back.”
“you didn’t want to go with them?” he didn’t mean to pry, but he couldn’t help wanting to know more about her. he couldn’t gather anything from her head, so he had to verbalize his curiosities, which was mildly infuriating.
“no, i like it in america. plus i missed Bella.” she didn’t make eye contact, fidgeting with the corner of her paperback copy of The Great Gatsby.
“i see. that’s a great choice in book, by the way,” he smiled insincerely, deep in thought as he excused himself from the conversation. “well, i have to get going, but it was great to meet you. i guess i’ll see you around.”
with that, he returned to his corner table, packing up his things hastily and exiting the shop.
#edward cullen#edward cullen x reader#edward cullen x y/n#edward cullen fanfiction#edward cullen fanfic#twilight#the twilight saga#fanfic#fanfiction#midnight sun
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them: are you ok you look out of it
me: yea sorry just tired
my brain:
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TWILIGHT (2008) | deleted scenes
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Down Bad is Bella after Edward left in New Moon.
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I need New Moon from Edward's perspective bc I need to know just how monumentally he was fucking up the tracking and imagining going home to Bella and I also need a New Moon AU where he DOES end up having to turn up at her window to beg LIKE HE DESERVED
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