More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

The abandonment wound that turns into a deep, never healing "I want someone to take care of me" is just

So

Big sometimes

And so often we become the one who takes care of people - those of us with this wound.

The hard thing is, learning how to take care of yourself really well doesn't heal it. Learning how to ask for help when you need it doesn't heal it. Learning to live with it doesn't heal it.

Nothing really does, when that "step" in your early childhood was either missed, mishandled, or otherwise fumbled spectacularly enough to cause this kind of wound. It's hard in complicated cases too, where you were cared for in many ways but maybe not the one that mattered. Or you were cared for in ever way but inconsistently. Or it was from a source that betrayed or abandoned you, even if you were handed off immediately to someone else that took care of you. There is no wrong way to receive this wound, nor is there a competition for who gets to feel it the hardest or the deepest.

But those who have it recognize each other, I think. We do, even if we don't know what it is we are recognizing. Even if the wounds were caused in different ways, even if our stories look so very different.

"I want someone to take care of me"

It may just always be there, in some way or another. It may even be unwanted, where you can't articulate it or you become hyper independent. It may be desperately wanted and cause clinging and limerance and all those painful things. It may be witnessed and cared for and managed by someone who sees their wound and does all the 'right' things.

But it doesn't really ever leave, does it

And we find each other, don't we?

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

Dragon Age Fenris

romance card

It seems that your weird matches my weird. We should kiss. I mean we should fuck. I mean we should be friends.

Been missing da2 lately

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

reblog for the most chaos PC we can manage

As someone who grew up with "I'm not going to praise you for doing what's expected of you; that's not being good, that's doing the bare minimum" I want to encourage you to celebrate every little thing you can. Everything that takes energy and effort should be appreciated and you're allowed to be happy about trying.

The video camera is plugged into the VCR, allowing it to record itself being poked and prodded.

GIF’d version of Vide-Uhhh! (2005)

My latest cartoon for New Scientist.

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Found this and I swear there's no image better fitted to describe my drinking experience