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Defiance & Desire

18+ wolfstar drabble

James and Sirius sit cross legged on the floor of their dormitory, quill and parchment between them, and lolly wrappers scattered around.

Sirius taps his chin, listening as James reads out everything on the list so far; all things that would absolutely piss his mother off and have her rolling into an early grave if she ever found out about them.

There are a lot of things on this list so far.

“How about… mooning the crowd at the next quidditch match?” Sirius suggests.

James bursts out laughing, “Merlin, Sirius. That will have Dumbledore rolling into an early grave.”

“Good.” Sirius grinned.

“What would Minnie say?”

“Erm, probably… detention for the rest of my life.” He chuckled, “Oh, Minnie…. Love her.”

James cracked a bright smile and wrote it down.

“What else?” Sirius hummed, “I need as many as possible. It betters the chances of them getting back to her.”

“Erm…” James thought for a moment, fixing his glasses, “You could… oh, shag a muggle born… or like, a halfblood or something?”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, that’s good… I mean, I’ve done it, but I suppose I could do it a few more times.”

“Oh, yeah…” James grumbled, forgetting about Sirius’ history with girls, “Ooh, you could shag a bloke. That would really send her.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, “A bloke?”

James nodded, “Yeah, like, ya know…” He shrugged, “I’d offer but I’m a happily committed man, Sirius.”

“Hmm.” Sirius bit his lip, thinking about it for a moment, “Add it to the list, I’ll consider it.”

James grinned and hurried to scribble it down, “Shagging… a criminal would work too… that also goes under the category of becoming a criminal. Because, you know, conspiring with them and all that.”

“Ooh, yeah, I’d shag a criminal.”

“Or like… a creature or something.”

“I’m not shagging an animal, James.”

James laughed, “No! Like… like a vampire or something, you know? Or a werewolf.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sirius nodded, “That could be cool.”

“Yeah… hot, right?”

Sirius shrugged, “Erm, I suppose. I like the muggle vampire romance books, so…”

James sighed and wrote it down, “Oh, look at that.” He hummed to himself, his tone a little playful, a little curious, “A halfblood, criminal… a creature, a bloke…” He chuckled, “You could just shag Moony.”

“Moony?” Sirius asked, looking down at the parchment.

James shrugged, “You’d be killing like, four birds with one stone. Your mother would be beside herself.” He laughed, “Ah, I’m just playing fun, Sirius. Obviously you’re not gonna go shag Moony. It’s not like you’re both gay or anything.”

Sirius nodded his head, “Yeah, it would be funny though.”

“Yeah.” James sighed, looking back at the parchment, “Ooh! Let the girls do your makeup and go have dinner in the Great Hall in a dress.”

Sirius gasped, “Oh, James, you’re brilliant!”

☆ ★ ☆

Sirius swings lazily on his chair, one leg propped up on his bedside table and the other just his toes touching the ground. His hair is tied back all messily, and he’s got his tie loose around his neck and a few buttons on his shirt undone. He’s humming to himself, watching the record spin and spin and spin on the table until it comes to a scratchy stop.

With an effortless swish of his wand, the record lifts itself up and slots itself away into the Ziggy Stardust sleeve on the shelf. And then he groans, throwing his head back and exposing his long pale neck.

Remus is going insane.

“I’m so bored.” He whines, “Why’d she have to make my detention so late?”

“To further punish you, I suppose.” James shrugged.

“You know, you should be thanking me. If I didn’t take the fall for you, Prongsie Boy, you’d be the bored one right now.”

“And I’ll forever be greatful for it, shnookums.” James laughs, bouncing over to kiss Sirius sloppily on his forehead.

Sirius yelps and nearly falls out of his chair, swatting James away, “You’re disgusting.”

“No, you are.” James says, tapping Sirius on the end of his nose like a sappy couple would, going back and forth about who’s cuter.

Sirius rolls his eyes and smiles anyway.

“I’ll see ya later.” James calls, “Gotta go do my rounds with Lily.”

“Bye.” Sirius waves, and goes back to his chair swinging.

Remus barely mutters his goodbye as he watches, and James laughs to himself as he leaves.

It’s just them two now. Alone. In their dorm. James out for the next few hours, Peter no doubt distractedly talking with the girls for hours on end. Remus should go down and join them, he said he would, but… well, right now he’d rather watch Sirius swing on his chair.

Besides, Sirius has to leave for his detention soon, so he can join them later.

Sirius huffs and a shiny strand of hair flies up out of his face. It slowly settles back down, and then Sirius blows it back up into the air again. He does this a few more times, until it falls off the side of his face and out of reach, and Remus watches, entranced the whole time.

“Moonshine?” Sirius asks, eyes squinting as he looks out the window. He’s tracking a bird as it loops around the sky.

“Yes?” Remus squeaks out, then clears his throat and deepens his voice, “Uh, I mean, yes?”

Sirius shrugs, “Would you ever be interested in shagging?”

Remus feels his cheeks go red, “What?”

“Shagging?” Sirius asks, turning to look at Remus, and it’s mortifying, “Like, sex… fucking… you know?”

“Ah… yes?” Remus nods, “Yes, I’d be… I mean, who isn’t interested in sex?” He laughs nervously.

“Erm… me, I suppose.” Sirius sighs, looking back up at the roof, “I mean, I do it a lot I suppose- or, well, not that much. But, you know, more than you or Pete and the girls and stuff.”

“Right.” Remus nods.

“But I mean, it’s not that great. You know, if I never shagged again, I wouldn’t care.”

“Really?” He asks, curious.

“Yeah, I mean, sure, girls are gorgeous and all but… eh, you know?”

Remus swallows, “Eh?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, “It’s just… slimey down there. And like… I don’t understand the whole boob thing. I guess… I ‘spose it’s not really normal, so I just ignore it. But I don’t go out of my way to shag a girl unless she asks, you know?”

“Sure…” Remus says, because he very much knows- or, well, not really. He knows he wouldn’t shag a girl no matter what, because he doesn’t like girls. So he gets that, but he doesn’t really understand if Sirius is implying the same circumstance or not.

“Have you ever shagged anyone, Remus?”

“No.” He swallows, “Never.”

“Oh…” Sirius nods, “But you want to?”

“Yes.” Remus nods back.

Sirius seems to think about this for a moment, humming to himself in quiet contemplation, and Remus just watches. He has no idea what he’s feeling right now, other than downright confused and so fucking intrigued.

“Would you ever shag me?”

Remus chokes. He starts coughing and spluttering, cheeks red and eyes wide, “Sorry?”

Sirius shrugs, “Sorry.” He laughs, “Didn’t mean to catch you off guard like that. But would you ever shag me?”

“I… I mean…” Remus rubs his forehead, “I’m… I don’t…”

“Just, you know how James and I are finding things to piss my mother off?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, we thought it would be good if I shagged a bloke, and a creature… a criminal, and like… a halfblood.” Sirius smiled, “You’re an unregistered half blood werewolf with a cock, so-“

“Bloody hell, Sirius.” Remus looks at him, absolutely gobsmacked. Lily will go crazy when he tells her about this conversation. “I mean… what?”

Sirius shrugged, “I mean, it’s not like I’m gay or anything. I just know it would piss her off.”

Well, that’s disappointing.

“So yeah, do you wanna shag?”

“Are you serious?”

Sirius smirked.

“I- no.” He scoffed, laughing into his hands as he hid behind them, “Are you genuinely asking me to fuck, right now, Sirius?”

“Yeah…” Sirius smiled, “Just a bit of fooling around. It doesn’t have to mean anything, and I know we’re both not gay so it’s cool. It doesn’t have to be weird.”

“Right.” Remus nods, because he’s not gay, no, not at all.

“Besides, imagine the bragging rights.”

“Sorry?” Remus hummed.

“Well, I can say I’ve fucked a werewolf, and a criminal, which is… pretty cool.” He grinned, “And you can say you’ve fucked Sirius Black.”

“Oh, you cocky bastard.” Remus groaned.

Sirius laughed, “Imagine it, one of those girls in the halls bragging to their friends about how I’ve been inside them- and what, you’d just be able to say you’ve been inside me! Something they’d never be able to say.”

Remus’ eyebrows furrowed, “I’d be inside you?”

“Well, yeah.” Sirius shrugged, “Oh, unless you prefer it the other way around. I just think I’d prefer if you fucked me, is all.”

Remus’ brain is short circuiting. He’s beginning to question whether or not Sirius is as straight as he claims.

“When you said shag, I assumed you mean handjobs.”

“Oh…” Sirius nodded, looking a little disappointed actually, “Oh, yeah, we can… we can just do handjobs if you want.”

“Erm, no that’s okay.” Remus cleared his throat, “I can… I can, erm, do that, if you’d like.”

“Oh, Moons, you don’t have to just do it if you don’t want. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Sirius smiled, so, so prettily.

“No, it’s okay, yeah, I’d…” Remus looked away for a moment, unable to believe he was actually having this conversation, “I’ll fuck you.”

“Oh, brilliant.” Sirius grinned, “You’re really the best, Remus. Like, my favorite person in the world. Mother will be so pissed if she ever found out- and don’t worry, I’m not just gonna go tell her. It’s just the idea of it.”

“Right.” Remus nods.

“So, erm… I’ve got detention, so we can’t do it now… how about tonight?”

“To-“ Remus stops himself mid sentence and looks at Sirius aghast, “You’re just… yeah, okay, yeah.”

Sirius hummed, “James will have his date thing in the astronomy tower by the time I get back from detention so… we just have to get Peter out of the room somehow.”

“Leave it to me!” Remus says, “I’ve got… I’ll figure it out. I’m… yeah, we’re good mates so I’ll sort it.”

“Oh, Moonbeam, you really are the best.” Sirius smiles, hopping up out of his chair and bouncing over to pet Remus on the top of his head, “Really, I owe you big time.”

“Yeah.” Remus blushed and ducked his head, watching Sirius waltz out of the room, humming a happy tune.

☆ ★ ☆

“Holy shit guys, I just…” Remus plops himself down on the couch between Mary and Marlene. Lily is sitting on the floor against Mary’s legs and Pete’s sitting across from her, they’re playing snap. “I… I think I’m gonna have sex with Sirius.”

All four of them went dead silent, turning slowly to look at him.

Remus swallows and looks up, “He wants to piss of his parents and… apparently secretly having sex with me is the perfect way to do that?”

“What?” Peter gasps.

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly, Wormy.” Remus muttered, “Erm, we’re gonna shag tonight… he wants… he wants me to shag him, tonight.”

“Merlin…” Lily grins looking up at him, “Oh, Remus!”

Remus bites his lip, blushing, “Pete… you reckon you can clear the room tonight?”

“Trust me, I’m staying as far away as possible.” Peter laughed, “Bloody hell, I owe James ten galleons. I really didn’t think that would work.”

“You planned this?” Remus asked, “Wait, you bet on this?”

Peter looked at him deadpan, “I’ve already made fifty galleons from winning bets on Sirius, he’s so predictable. Obviously I bet on this.”

Remus sighs and sinks down into the sofa, “I’m going to have sex with Sirius tonight…” He looks around at them all, “How do you have sex?”

“Oh, Remus.” Lily mused.

☆ ★ ☆

It’s just them. Just Remus and Sirius. The moment he got back from detention James was waltzing out of the room with a cheerful grin, off to his date, and Pete was following right after in hopes of finding Marlene.

So they’re alone already, which makes things so much easier for Sirius.

“Thanks.” He smiles, “For sorting Pete out.”

“No problem.” Remus nodded, “He was gonna hang out with Marlene anyway.”

“Oh, cool.” Sirius said, starting to feel a little awkward, “Erm, so, I don’t really know how this works.”

“Me either, I suppose.” Remus swallowed, “I did some research, though. Figured out some stuff.”

“Oh, Moons…” Sirius smiled, he really is the most grateful for Remus. He really is the best. He just feels so much admiration for him all the time. “You’re such a good friend.”

“Yep.” Remus nods, “Such a good friend.”

“So like… are we just doing the sex bit, or foreplay too?” Sirius asked, hoping Remus votes for foreplay. Sirius is good at foreplay, it’s his strong suit. It’s the part he likes the best of sex, so he doesn’t want to make it weird by not enjoying any of this.

But foreplay is what people do when they like each other, most of the time. So Sirius would understand if Remus says no to it. Like, it would be extra disappointing, but he’d get it.

“Forplay?” Remus’ eyes widen.

“Yeah, like… kissing and all that.” He shrugs, “Undressing each other .”

Remus swallows, “Sure.” He says, and for some reason his voice just got higher. Sirius likes when Remus’ voice does that, it’s funny and it makes him feel kinda good, like, proud in a way, but he doesn’t know why.

“Oh, cool.” Sirius nods, acting all nonchalant when really he’s feeling very happy inside.

“Uhm… we have to use lube.”

“Oh…” Sirius furrowed his brow. Girls don’t need lube. He really knows less about this sex stuff than he thought. “Right, well, I think we have some of that butter left from the prank-“

“Not butter.” Remus cuts in, laughing at him, “Definitely not butter, Sirius. It’s going inside you-“

“Oh, yuck. I don’t want butter in my arse.” He grimaced.

“Yeah, I don’t really want it on me either.” Remus laughed, “Like, sex lube.”

“Oh…” Sirius nodded, “What’s that? Can we make it?”

“No.” Remus smiled, turning to his bedside draw, “It’s just gel stuff, I guess. Erm, here…” He tossed a little tube over to Sirius.

It’s see through and has a transparent slime inside, “Oh, where'd you get this on such short notice? It’s half empty.”

Remus went red again. Sirius likes when he makes Remus go red. “Erm… cause I use it.”

“I thought you didn’t have sex?”

“I don’t.” Remus splutters, “It’s for… wanking”.

Sirius looked down at the tube, then over at Remus’ crotch, “Oh… really? I don’t need lube when I wank- I mean, not that I wank very often, but it’s always wet enough when I do.”

Remus’ eyes widened and he just stared at Sirius for a moment, “Right…”

Sirius shrugged, “This sex stuff is interesting.”

“Erm, you’ll also have to be… fingered.” Remus gritted out.

“Can you finger blokes?” He asks, genuinely baffled as he flips the bottle of lube around in his hand absentmindedly.

Remus nods.

“Oh, I didn’t know that… why?”

“To make it like… big enough.” Remus nods, “You know… for…” He waved his hands wearily around his crotch.

“Oh, yeah, I suppose it’s kinda a small hole, hey?” Sirius hummed, the pieces slotting into place now, “Cool.”

“Yeah, cool.”

“So… like, I haven’t kissed a bloke before, but I’ve kissed girls.” Sirius smiled, “Have you kissed a bloke before? I know you’ve kissed a couple girls.”

Remus nods, “I kissed Peter once.”

Sirius immediately does not like that. He doesn’t know why, but that’s just weird. It’s just so, so weird. Peter? Remus has kissed Peter? What the fuck.

“What?”

“Yeah, we made out once-“ Remus cuts himself off, giving Sirius an unsure look.

Sirius knows it’s because he’s scowling. He’s not even ashamed of it. Remus and Peter made out, how fucking weird. That’s just fucking weird. That’s so gross, that so- oh, is Sirius homophobic? Oh, Sirius really doesn’t want to be homophobic. A lot of his friends are gay, that would be really bad if he was homophobic.

He huffs and looks at the ground, “Did it mean anything-“

“No.” Remus says immediately, “The girls just dared us one day, since they’ve all kissed each other- it was just stupid. Didn’t mean anything. Never will. Never has.”

“Oh, cool.” Sirius nods, some of the weight lifting off of his shoulders. The thought still makes him a little queasy, but less so now.

Perhaps shagging a bloke will make him less homophobic. He really hopes it will. He feels really terrible. His whole life he’s been running from the man his parents tried to shape him into, and yet, the shadow lingers.

It’s terrifying.

“Erm, so… do we just… kiss?”

Remus is still for a moment, and he’s looking at Sirius kind of strangely. Sirius doesn’t know what to do with himself in all honesty, he never does under Remus’ gaze. It’s always so intense, it makes him nervous, fiddley… giggly.

Oh yeah, Remus makes him so giggly. He’s fighting the urge to giggle like a child now. Remus is just… he’s looking at him, like really looking. Sirius feels so special when Remus looks at him, because he knows Remus doesn’t look at anyone else like this. No, this look is reserved especially for Sirius and that’s just… well, isn’t that just delightful?

But he really doesn’t want to giggle right now. He’s trying so hard not too, because that would be embarrassing. He feels like a girl, which is so weird, and so dumb, because why would he ever feel like that?

“Do you want to kiss?” Remus asked back eventually.

“Yes.” Sirius says, without a thought, mouth on autopilot apparently. And that’s probably a good thing, because his brain is kind of a bit useless at the moment. So much is going on up there, yet there are no thoughts at all. He nods his head for assurance, “Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Okay.” Remus smiled and took a couple of steps closer.

Sirius looked at the gap between them, there wasn’t much of one, but he certainly wasn’t close enough to comfortably kiss. So Sirius took the final step, the baggy wool of Remus’ sweater brushing up against the buttons of Sirius’ shirt.

“Hi there.” Sirius murmured into the small space between them. If he leant forward, just a smidgen, their noses would bump together.

“Hi.” Remus smiles, his cheeks flushing a really adorable pink colour, flushed under freckles and scars.

Sirius really doesn’t know how Remus doesn’t get girls, because he thinks Remus is quite attractive. Well, sure, he’s not dashing in the way Sirius effortlessly is, and he’s not cute in the way Peter is, and he’s certainly not stoically handsome like James. But he’s attractive in his own little way, in the Remus way, the way that he’s just really handsome because he simply is and everyone should just agree because Sirius knows.

Besides, he looks really cute when he’s about to get kissed. All up close and personal, honey-golden eyes barely visible behind the dilation in his pupils, flushed cheeks smattered under a galaxy of freckles, silver scars that are just so intrinsically Remus, pert lips that look so… so… uhm, Sirius can’t think. He’s too distracted to think.

Point is, Remus is damned attractive and it’s appalling that not more people think so.

Remus huffs and bites his lip, and Sirius can feel his eyes searching all over Sirius’ face. But he can’t help but stare at the place between Remus’ front teeth, the plush skin, it’s so pink and shiny. He’s just so… so cute.

Sirius boops their noses together.

Remus almost giggles.

Sirius kisses him.

It’s… well, it’s so much better than kissing girls. Honestly, Remus must have been practising because he’s just really good at this whole kissing thing. Maybe there’s a spell or something that makes you really good.

Whatever it is, Remus is it. They’re not even making out and it’s just so much better than every girl he’s ever kissed, ever.

Remus is really just such a good mate, isn’t he? Gosh, Sirius really thinks so.

Remus shuffles a little closer and tips his head to the side slightly, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue along the seam of Sirius’ own lips.

It’s so well done, his smoothness, that Sirius breaks out in goosebumps. Once this is all over, Sirius will have to tell Remus that he really is just so good at all this kissing stuff.

He’s really that good that Sirius kinda just wants to keep him to himself. Like a little trophy that only he gets to have. No one else should be allowed to be graced with such good kissing skills because honestly, Sirius doesn’t think any girl out there would be able to properly appreciate it.

It’s so good, when Remus slips some tongue into Sirius’ mouth and reaches up to tug Sirius in by the belt loops, that he moans. He actually moaned, and he’s not even embarrassed because Remus needs to know just how good at this he is.

Remus tugs him closer and Sirius lifts his hands to grab at the back of Remus’ neck and tug at the jumper over his shoulder because something has just come over him. Something wild. Some primal need or something to just tear Remus’ clothes off and have him. He blames Padfoot.

They shuffle back to Sirius’ bed until Remus’ knees buckle and he flops down onto it. Sirius shoves himself into Remus’ lap, straddling him and pressing close which just feels… so good. Like, Remus really doesn’t know how good he is.

He must be some sex god or something. How Remus hasn’t had sex yet, Sirius doesn’t know. But what he does know, is that Remus is so fucking wonderful and Sirius doesn’t want to share.

How strange is that?

Remus’ bony fingers reach up to undo the buttons on Sirius’ shirt, but before he can even get halfway, Sirius is yanking Remus’ jumper up and off his body in a rush.

“So good.” He mutters, leaning in to kiss Remus again. He starts shoving off his own shirt before Remus can do the last button. “Oh, you’re really good at this, Moony.”

Remus moans against his mouth and wow, holy Godrick, that’s really a wonderful sound. How are his moans even that brilliant? This really isn’t fair. How is Sirius ever supposed to be so good in bed? He really hopes he doesn’t let Remus down.

“Fuck.” Remus mumbles, latching his lip onto Sirius’ throat and groaning when Sirius digs his nails into Remus’ shoulders, “You- oh, you’re really- you’re so hot.”

Sirius flushes all over, and he dips back down to kiss Remus again. He can’t help but giggle.

☆ ★ ☆

“Please, please, please, please.” Sirius is mumbling, actually completely naked underneath Remus which is just… it’s really a sight to behold. It’s an image which will be imprinted in Remus’ mind for the rest of eternity.

Remus can’t help but duck down to kiss him, right on the lips, because Sirius seems to actually really love that. He actually seems to really love a lot of things involving Remus sexually.

Remus moans, his hips pressing down against Sirius’. The friction from that alone is far better than anything he conjures up in his mind and creates with his own right hand at night.

“Yeah.” He nods, “Yeah, erm… do… do you wanna do it yourself?”

“Do what?” Sirius gasps, bucking his hips up when Remus doesn’t grind down again.

“Finger yourself.” Remus says bluntly, because there’s really no other way to say it.

“Oh, uhm…” Sirius’ eyes fly open, and they flick around Remus’ face for a bit before he flushes more than he already has and smiles, “Can you do it? I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I’ll just probably like it more if you did… you’re like… really bloody good at this sex stuff.”

Remus knows for a fact that he is not really bloody good at this sex stuff. He’s never even done it before, and he’s being really awkward as he always is. The first kiss they shared he was so stiff for, and he literally opened his mouth and shoved his tongue out really weirdly because he was just so shocked by Sirius actually doing this. He knows that was a terrible kiss, but Sirius just kept kissing him anyway. And then Sirius kinda took the lead there a little and gave Remus some time to figure it out, thankfully.

So yeah, Remus knows he’s so fucking bad at this. He knows Sirius has been with a good handful of girls who are confident, and experienced, and way nicer to look at. And yet, Sirius won’t stop banging on about how fucking good Remus is at all of this, how his mouth is fucking magic, and how he’s making Sirius all tingly.

It’s like a dream. A real dream brought to life or something. Remus really pinched himself at one moment to make sure he wasn’t actually dreaming it up.

But no. It’s real. And Sirius’ is enjoying it. And Sirius wants Remus to finger him. And Sirius wants to have sex with Remus.

Remus is almost certain that Sirius just… isn’t actually into girls at this point. Or at the very least, is into guys in one way or another.

Remus grabs the lube from under Sirius’ back, where he’d landed on it a while ago when taking off his trousers. He pops the cap and squeezes a big glob of lube onto his fingers before spreading it around a little.

Sirius gazes up at him, his legs are slightly open, spread around Remus’ own knees, all just… naked for him. His gaze is heavy lidded, and Remus fights the urge to look further downward.

“Just be nice, yeah?” Sirius asks, a finger reaching out to draw over a scar on Remus’ middle. “I haven’t been fingered or anything before, so… do you think it will hurt?”

Remus shakes his head, “Ah… I did it to myself once. If you go slow it doesn’t… I’ll go slow.”

“Okay.” Sirius blushes again, “You really are the best, Moonshine.”

Merlin, that name? Oh, Remus is starting to lose it. He’s actually going to lose his mind about it. It’s bad enough as is, when Sirius calls him that just out and about. It makes his heart race and his stomach fill with butterflies.

But here? Now? Well, Remus is going to implode. He’s so, so fucking into Sirius it’s sickening.

“Thanks.” Remus mutters, reaching a sticky finger down between Sirius’ legs, “Erm, is that… are you…. Can I?”

“Yeah.” Sirius breathes, his eyes falling shut, “O-oh, fuck, yeah. Oh, Moony, you’re so… mhm, you’re so good at this.”

Remus’ brain melts a little more, because he hasn’t actually done anything. Really, his finger is just sitting there, only the very tip of it has pushed inside and Sirius is there acting like Remus is just about to make him cum.

Sirius really can’t be straight. He’s either really good at faking it, or really, really gay.

Remus hopes for the latter.

“What about that? Hurt?”

“No.” Sirius hums, smiling to himself as he turns his head into the pillows, his hands gripping the sheets, “No, s’good. Oh, Moonbeam, you’re- oh, you’d never… never hurt me. Never hurt me, baby. S’good.”

Remus has suddenly lost all coherent thought.

☆ ★ ☆

Sirius feels euphoric.

Really, he wishes he had sex with Remus earlier because this is just fucking brilliant. Remus is really just so good.

When Sirius has sex with girls, he feels kinda good physically a lot. Like, his cock likes it, he supposed. But it’s usually really boring. It’s just not all that great, he doesn’t get why James likes sex so much.

But like, with Moony? Well, everything is great. He’s just really good at it, and he must know exactly what he’s doing because no matter what it just makes Sirius feel so amazing.

Physically and emotionally. Like, everywhere. He feels like a live wire.

“R-Remus.” He stutters out, because he’s not very good at talking anymore. He’s mostly just loudly moaning and stuff. Like, it’s so loud that Remus actually stopped midway through to cast a silencing charm so people outside the dorm wouldn’t hear. “Oh, fuck, Remus. Please, can you just fuck me?”

“Shit.” Remus moans, “F-fuck, yeah. You… you sure? You sure you want that?”

Sirius nods, because if Remus fingering him is this good, then he really wants to find out about the rest of it.

“Yeah, please.” Sirius said, “Really, really, please, Moonybaby. Oh, fuck- you’re so- you’re so good at- uh.”

“Fucking- okay, yeah.” Remus chokes out, pulling his hand away from Sirius.

He can’t help but whine about it, feeling so cold and empty. He reaches out to cling to Remus, but all he gets are glorious, sweaty, scarred thighs.

He lifts his head when he hears a wet sound, and watches Remus smear some lube over himself, quite entranced by it. He watches the slick glide of Remus’ wonderful hands and wishes it was himself between those magical fingers.

Remus comes closer, and Sirius immediately grabs for him. His arms sling around Remus’ neck, fingers sifting in through hair and clawing at his back.

“Oh, Moony.” Sirius moans, kissing him as much as Remus will let him, “Please. Oh, you’re so… oh, R-Remus.”

“Bloody hell, Sirius.” Remus grunts, pressing in as close as he can. His whole body shivers as he slowly sinks down, Sirius whining helplessly in his ear. He can’t help it, it feels so fucking good, just like he thought. “Oh, fuck, you’re so- so hot. So fucking… oh, fuck.”

Sirius can’t stop kissing, everywhere. Anywhere his lips can reach he’s attaching himself to Remus. It really is quite delightful, getting fucked by his sex god best friend.

He thinks about recommending it to James, but thankfully James is a committed man. Then perhaps Peter, but- no, they’ve already kissed, they’ve done enough. Besides, Sirius is apparently homophobic about that so he probably shouldn’t suggest it.

Maybe he’ll just tell everyone Remus is really bad, so no one else goes and fucks him- yeah, that sounds good. No one else gets to have him, only Sirius.

He’s probably a really bad friend for that, but, well, he doesn’t really care right now because Remus is just making him feel so, so good. Like, really lucky.

☆ ★ ☆

Sirius is clinging to Remus like he’s his life line. It’s probably the best feeling in the world. And yes, that includes the feeling of been balls deep inside Sirius.

Both are fucking amazing, but being clung too by Sirius beats it by just a smidgen.

He’s shaking, actually, so much to the point that Remus had thought he’d done something wrong. But no, Sirius has assured him it’s purely because he just feels fucking amazing. That Remus is doing a bang on job.

Really, Remus isn’t sure why Sirius keeps saying such things. Like, sure, now it’s fine because Remus has found a rhythm and gotten more comfortable doing this, but he was so awkward those first few thrusts. They were miscalculated, and kinda desperate, and just not very good, he could tell. But still, Sirius had said it’s the best feeling ever.

Remus doesn’t know what to do with himself. So he just lets his body do whatever the hell it needs. And what it needs is to make Sirius finish, and apparently, to say dumb shit he’s going to regret later.

“You’re so… so fucking pretty, baby.” He mutters, kissing Sirius between each few words, “So good, so gorgeous. Feels so good- so good. Oh you’re just so good, so-“

Remus reels back, because Sirius is thrashing almost violently, and is getting louder and- Remus looks down to find white smeared all over Sirius’ stomach.

Sirius doesn’t give Remus time to process that before he’s pulling him down into a deep kiss and thrusting his own hips up to meet Remus’.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Sirius is muttering on repeat, smattering kisses everywhere on Remus’ face as he chases his own. “Oh, so- so good, Moonshine. You’re so good, too good to me.”

Remus presses their foreheads together as he cums and kisses Sirius midway through. When he pulls away, Sirius is dazed.

He has a faraway, dreamy look in his eyes and a relaxed smile on his lips. His cheeks are bright pink, a stark contrast to his pale complexion, and his skin shimmers with sweat.

Oh, he really is just so fucking pretty.

“Fuck.” Remus grunts, shifting until he’s laying down beside Sirius, both on their backs, shoulders overlapped.

Sirius whines as Remus slips away, and shivers slightly. Remus grabs his jumper off the pillow and lays it over Sirius’ chest like a blanket.

“Hmm.” He hums, and closes his eyes.

Remus cleans them both up, reaching the end of the box of tissues on Sirius’ bedside. But they’re clean, so it’s fine.

They lie there in silence for a while. Remus feels the moment Sirius comes too again, stiffening beside him. It’s awkward, tense. Slowly, Sirius shucks Remus’ jumper off his chest and they both lie there, completely naked, staring at the roof.

They hear James and Peter come into the room, “Told you.”

“Don’t believe you.” James muttered back, “Pads, mate, you in here?”

“James, they’re probably having a meaningful conversation.” Peter huffs, “Look at the curtains.”

“Well, I want to see him.”

“You can later.” Peter offers, “Sirius, if you want James to come in, say something back.”

“Don’t come in!” Sirius shouts, and silence lingers outside.

“See, he doesn’t want you too.” Peter says after a while, “Completely silent.”

“The charm must still be on.” Remus muttered.

“Oh.” Sirius nodded.

“Fine.” James groaned, “Come to my bed later, Sirius. I’m going to sleep.”

Sirius and Remus lie there for a while, listening to James and Peter get ready for bed. Honestly, Remus is glad Peter didn’t say anything to James about them having sex.

Or, well, he doesn’t think he said anything.

Not that he’d be mad if James found out Remus is gay. He’s pretty sure James already knows. But, he’s sure Sirius would want to tell him about that. Sirius would probably have some strange things to say about it, so, it’s best if Sirius is the one to lay it all out there.

Once the room goes silent again, and the lights are all turned out, they dare a glance over at each other. Just as quickly, they look away.

Remus starts to feel a little guilty. He knows how he feels about Sirius, and Sirius clearly hadn’t felt the same way. At least not prior to now. So, he decides to bite the fucking bullet, despite his own judgments, and confessess.

“I liked that.”

“Yeah, me too.” Sirius nodded, eyes fixed on the roof, “Felt good. You made me cum really hard.”

Merlin, he really doesn’t make anything easy for Remus, does he?

“Yeah.” Remus nods, “But like… I liked it in a gay way.”

Sirius tenses beside him again.

“Erm, cause I’m gay.” Remus fills in, refusing to look anywhere but the stupid poster of a half naked motorbike girl on Sirius’ ceiling. “And I like you.”

“You… like me?” Sirius mumbles.

“Yeah.” Remus breathes, “A lot… I think you’re… brilliant. You’re really, really, fucking brilliant. And also really good at sex.”

Sirius swallowed, “So, do you think I’m pretty?”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded, “I said it, before.”

“I thought you might have just been doing sex talk.”

“Oh…” Remus swallows, “Were you just doing sex talk?”

“No.” Sirius shakes his head, “I just… no, it was all honest. But, girls often make up sex talk, so-“

“I’m not a girl.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sirius swallowed, “So you… you fancy me, for real?”

“Yeah.” Remus nods, “A lot.”

“Oh.”

Remus chewed on his lip.

“Excuse me.” Sirius muttered, and then climbed out of bed.

He didn’t even stop to put trousers on or anything. Remus listened as he walked over and pulled back the curtains of James’ bed.

“Oh, Sirius, hey, I- Merlin! Where are your clothes?”

“Over there. Remus and I had sex.”

There was silence for a while before James said back, “What?”

“Remus and I had sex.”

“When?” James asked, fucking gobsmacked.

“Just then.” Sirius said, “Before you came into the room.”

“Wh- why?”

“It was your idea!” He said defensively, “You said I should just fuck Remus, so I did. I fucked Remus- or, rather, he fucked me.”

“And you just decided to come tell me this, still very naked?”

“Yeah.” Sirius said, “I think I can still feel his cum inside-“

“Bloody hell, Sirius. You know he can- just, get in.”

“Do you want me to put clothes on?”

“Merlin, I don’t care, just…”

“He’s gay, you know?” Remus heard Sirius shuffle into the bed, “Said he likes me.”

“Wow, really?” James gasped, “I had no fucking idea. It’s not like he stares at you longingly or anything.”

“Oh…” Sirius mumbled, “I think I’m homophobic, by the way.”

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, he said he kissed Pete and that made me feel kind of nauseous.”

There was another long stretch of silence, and then from his own bed, Peter muttered, “You owe me twenty gallons, James.”

“Fuck.” James muttered, drawing the curtains around them, “Look, Sirius, you’re not homophobic.”

“Erm, yes I am.” Sirius said in defence, “Why else would I get mad about Remus getting involved with other blokes?”

“Oh, Sirius.” James sighed, and cast a silencing charm around them.

☆ ★ ☆

Remus is startled awake by the curtains swishing back. Not that he slept very deeply, just a little nap. He’s still in Sirius’ bed. He was too anxious to move.

Now that he sees Sirius standing there, still very naked, he feels like he should have left.

Sirius lifts up the corner of his blanket and slides under, closing the curtain around them before casting another silencing charm.

He tugs at the sheet and gestures for Remus to get under. And then they both lie there again, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the roof.

“You okay?” Remus asks after a long silence. He feels so awkward about it.

“Yep.” Sirius nods, “Just… trying to figure out the least scary way to ask you to be my boyfriend.”

Remus’ heart falls out from under him, “What?”

“Oh.” Sirius mutters, “I guess I just did, didn’t I?”

“Are you serious?” Remus gasps, turning to look at him.

Sirius smirks and turns his head slowly to look back at Remus.

“Don’t answer that.” He mutters, “I’m…”

“Yeah.” Sirius nods, genuinity behind his pretty, pale eyes, “Erm, yeah, James told me I’m gay.”

“What?” Remus gaped, “What do you mean he told you you were gay?”

Sirius shrugged, “Like, I’ve been gay this whole time, and I really like you. I just didn’t know it, is all. I thought I was homophobic, can you believe that? James just made me realise I was jealous.”

“Jealous… of Peter?”

“Yes. Never look at him again, please.” Sirius said sternly.

Remus furrowed his brow, looking at Sirius in shock.

Sirius broke into a grin, “I’m kidding. But really, I did get jealous. I’m jealous about you a lot. It’s why I get so angry at you sometimes.”

“Oh.” Remus swallowed, “That…”

“Yeah.” Sirius smiled, laughing at himself softly, “It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not.” Remus corrects, “You’re really smart. You’re the smartest person I know. Sometimes this stuff is just really hard, I get it. I know.”

He blushes, and it’s fucking adorable. It’s always adorable.

“You’re so sweet, Moony.” Sirius hums, kissing Remus’ shoulder, “So, will you?”

“Will I what?”

“Be mine?” He asks.

“Oh…” Remus’ heart is racing. It’s going so fast, beating so hard he can feel it in his throat, “Yes. Fuck, yes please.”

Sirius breaks out into the most brilliant smile before rolling over and wrapping himself around Remus, “Yay.”

Remus hugs him back, entangling their legs together and hoping they never have to untangle, “You really mean it?”

“Yeah.” Sirius hums, pressing his lips to Remus’ skin a few times, “Oh, I was so crazy for not knowing it, Moonshine. I’m mental about you.”

Remus feels extatic, “I’m mental about you too, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I really like that.” Sirius mused, “I really like you.”

Remus chuckled, “Okay, sweetheart.”

Sirius hums, content, snuggling closer into Remus’ side, “God, imagine my mother now. Not just shagging an unregistered werewolf bloke, but now he’s my boyfriend?”

“She’d have a heart attack.”

“Good.” Sirius smiled, “Oh, I love when everything just comes together like this. James is so exited. He owes Pete a lot of money, they’ve been betting on us for ages.”

Remus snorts, “I think Pete’s been cheating then. He’s known I’m into you for ages.”

Sirius snorts, “Of course he is.” He lifts his head to kiss Remus sweetly, “Let me take you out on a date, Moonybaby?”

Remus melted, sighing against Sirius’ lips, “Yeah, please.”

“Oh, I’m gonna woo you so hard, you won’t even know what hit you.” Sirius smiled, “And then we’re gonna shag so much again, because I didn’t know shagging was actually fun.”

Remus snorts and kissed Sirius some more, “I did, I was just waiting for you to prove it.”

The way that Sirius swooned made Remus feel like he was on top of the fucking world.

⋅⋆ ☼ ☆ ☾ ☆ ☼ ⋆⋅

HAPPY HORNY SATURDAY! i hope you enjoyed this one, it was very fun to write. just a silly little bit of smut because why the hell not, i say?!

don't forget to reblog and commentary is ALWAYS welcome here. thankies!

Since you guys were interested I’m just tagging you here :)) hope you enjoyed!! <3 @stranger200-blog @addsalwayssick

#reading fics on tumblr #wolfstar #set at hogwarts #hmmm how could Sirius make his mom mad #Sirius gets an awakening #I loved James in this too!#and I loved how honest with his friends Remus was #a very fun read

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itsaash · 6 months

Text

unsatisfyingly satisfying: part 3/3

Today, for @noots-fic-fests, the final installment in this series, rated E and it's pure Coops, characterizations by @lumosinlove. THANK YOU for any and all support of this lil fic which it turns out means rather a lot to me. part 1 (reading here let's you get the jist, while avoiding the E parts of sirius/OFC) part 2 or all of it on ao3 here

Sirius and Remus got through the rest of their evening without being asked for any selfies or autographs, and managed to not run into any more exes. Ordering room service to the room may have helped avoid this.

“How did it happen anyways?”

Sirius looked up from behind his burger. They were sitting on the floor of their hotel room, eating, tv on in the background.

“Quoi?”

“How did you end up in bed with Rebecca? I’ve never found myself in that situation. Always knew I wasn’t up for it.” Remus shrugged. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I have to admit I’m still thinking about it.”

“Thinking about it like you want to invite them over, or thinking about it like you’re jealous?” Sirius quipped.

“Neither, asshole,” Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to understand the wilds that were your mind back then.”

“I don’t even know, Re,” Sirius sighed. He popped the last bit of burger into his mouth and chewed while he looked up at the beige ceiling, thinking. “I could hardly think in a straight line back then, I was so tied up in knots. Lots of guilt and pressure and shame and so so many ‘shoulds.’”

Remus nodded. “You thought you should like women. Like Claire said, the comphet comes for all of us at some point.”

Sirius nodded. He draped an arm over one bent knee and Remus reached out and held his dangling fingers gently as Sirius spoke. “That was definitely part of it. Just pressing down the thoughts I had about guys until they were as small as possible. Doing mental gymnastics to explain them away. I really thought I just needed to find the right girl, and for an evening I thought Rebecca might be that, so that was part of what got us into the room, I think.”

“I’m sorry the world told you you needed to do that, baby,” Remus said gently.

Sirius quirked half a smile at him. “Well, I got there eventually, dieu merci.”

“Oui,” Remus smiled back. “Fuckin eventually. ” He dropped his head backwards and sighed. “And, ok, I am a bit jealous.” Sirius barked out a laugh. “Really? Pourquoi? Tu es l’amour de ma vie… you know that, right?” he said, trailing his fingertips up Remus’ forearm.

“Toi aussi, baby. I love you so much. But … it really sucked watching you with girls all those years. And I had no claim on you then, but, still.”

“I get it. If you had had a boyfriend I would’ve hated that.” Remus snorted. “You would have been so mean to him. Captain stares across nachos. RBF over fries.” “Definitely,” Sirius agreed. He scooted over to sit beside Remus, both their backs resting back against the bed. He wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders and pulled him in towards his side. “I’ll tell you anything you want, if that helps. It was very not great.” “It seems Rebecca would disagree on that.” Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face. “I honestly was surprised she said that. I guess focusing on her, or any of the girls, was a way to not focus on what I was feeling. Or not feeling.”

Remus just nodded, his head tucked into the warmth of Sirius’ shoulder.

“Tell me a bit about the night? Maybe if I do know about it, I’ll stop thinking about it.”

Sirius nodded and took a moment to remember. “We spent a lot of time in the hotel bar with James. Playing pool, talking, having fun. Having James there absolutely was part of the reason I got comfortable with her. It was an annoying weekend of photo shoots and interviews. There were some drinks. I think there was juggling?”

“Juggling? Juggling what ?” Remus laughed.

“Random things. Coasters, probably a shoe.” Remus laughed, picturing it. “And I’m sure you were the best at all of that and won her right over with your skill.” “No way, she beat me at pool and juggling. But I beat Pots, so that was ok.” Remus turned to look at him. “Really? She was better than you?” “At juggling?” Sirius gave Remus a funny look. “Yeah.”

Remus stood up, going for the suitcase. “Let’s see it.” “What?” Sirius laughed.

“Your juggling. You didn’t even have to be amazing at it for her to want you? I want to see how you look when you’re juggling.”

Sirius shook his head, but stood and cleared away the tray with their plates on it. Remus gathered enough balls of socks and gave three to Sirius while he started to toss his own. He tossed two in one hand, then the other, looking at Sirius the whole time. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Of course you’re already good at this.”

“Julian and I would do this together!” Remus laughed. “So let’s see you, Cap.”

Sirius tossed one sock up and immediately dropped the other two.

And again. And again. His socks ended up on the floor as Remus watched with a smirk on his lips.

“Tabarnak .”

“Impressive pick up technique, I can see clearly why this worked so well,” Remus deadpanned.

“I think it was more than my juggling. ” Sirius said, keeping his eyes on the socks.

“I’m sure it was. Maybe you turned around when you picked up the socks so you could show off Canada’s ass? Or did you add in a bend and snap?”

“Fuck you.”

After a few minutes he started to get the rhythm, the toss up, pass over, knew which sock to watch at what time. Remus juggled his socks easily, and Sirius caught his three in his hands after a few successful rounds around.

“You win, you win. But I can do it now at least.”

“Not bad baby. Quick study, like always.” Remus tossed his socks neatly into the suitcase. “What happened next?”

A lump rose is Sirius’ throat at the heat behind Remus’ words.

“Are you sure you’re only a little jealous?” Sirius said quietly, pushing. “That someone else had their hands on me?” Remus closed the distance between them in two quick strides and had Sirius’ jaw in his hands and their lips crashing together before Sirius could feel satisfaction at having successfully riled up his husband. Remus pushed him backwards until Sirius’ back hit a wall, and he spread his feet apart to bring their lips to the same level. Remus kept his hands cupping Sirius’ jaw the whole time they kissed, tongues diving in and out of each other’s mouths.

“This actually is what happened next,” Sirius murmured, heart beating fast.

“Yeah?” Remus breathed into his mouth.

“Yeah. Except I was tense and overthinking every movement of my lips, instead of turned on. And it was against the door, not a wall.”

Remus broke away just long enough to turn them and guide Sirius against the door, pressing him into it with a thunk. He clicked off the overhead lights while he was at it, and plunged back into the kiss.

“Mine,” Remus said, hardly louder than a breath. A tingle travelled up Sirius’ spine and he moaned into the kiss.

“For always,” Sirius agreed. Remus moved onto Sirius’ neck and collarbones, biting and sucking in a way that Sirius knew would leave marks and he loved that almost as much as the overwhelming feeling of Remus’ lips on his neck.

“What next?” Remus asked. Sirius shook his head to bring himself back to the world of coherent speech.

“Um, she knelt down and kissed my stomach.” Remus felt Sirius tighten up and he stopped sucking a mark into his collarbone, instead drew Sirius’ earlobe into his mouth and whispered, “was that a bad thing?”

“Non, no, not bad. I just never let myself have that, before? It felt too easy and like too much to ask and I was very concerned about what they’d tell their friends.”

“That makes sense, baby.” Remus turned pressing Sirius into the door into more of a hug than a makeout position and Sirius relaxed in his arms. “And the piece of me that apparently is territorial of you is extremely glad I got to be your first.”

Remus bent one graceful leg underneath himself, lowered to one knee, and then the other. He trailed his hands down Sirius’ sides and belly, fingertips light over his abs. He ran his hands up and under Sirius’ shirt, hooked them into the tops of his pants as he kissed Sirius’ stomach.

“Not to get caught up in the details of this admittedly strange role play, but can I actually suck you?”

Sirius’ breath caught and he let out a little gasp as Remus’ fingertips trailed over his zipper. “Yeah, Re, yeah, you can.”

So he did.

Sirius let his head rest back against the door, let himself just feel . Feel the pleasure building, the way that wet heat could make his brain turn off, thoughts didn’t need to spin around his mind when he was in Remus’ mouth. He looked down then, threading a hand through Remus’ hair, taking in the sight of Remus with his eyes closed, working so hard for him, lips spread. Sirius knew he would be consciously relaxing his throat, breathing in time with his thrusts, all that effort for Sirius, just for Sirius to feel good. And it felt so good.

“Yes, mon loup,” Sirius said, voice low. “That’s so good. Do you feel good?” he asked.

Remus opened his eyes at that and looked up and Sirius’ heart skipped a beat at the view, an even more clear image of his cock pressing into Remus mouth. Remus moved back until the tip was just resting on his bottom lip.

“Mmmhmm, so good baby, you feel amazing,”

Sirius groaned and thrust forwards and Remus received him eagerly, still looking up at him. Sirius tugged his hair just a bit more, both hands now, pushing his hips forwards and back, heat building in his gut and up his spine. He made himself stop, mostly threw himself back into the door while keeping his hands in Remus’ hair to keep him away. Remus reached forward with his mouth, still in the rhythm they had been building, but Sirius held him back, gasping.

“Are we keeping this going? You want to know what happened next?” Sirius panted. “Or are you satisfied that it’s only you I want?”

Remus smirked up at him. “Yeah? You only want my mouth?”

Sirius groaned. “ Fuck , Remus,” he hauled him up for a deep and dirty kiss. “Yes, of course I only want you. Je t’aime à la folie,” he said between kisses, “tu es mon âme sœur, my soulmate , Remus, it's you.”

“Je t’aime à la folie aussi,” Remus said, more slowly, but with just as much feeling and truth behind it as Sirius had. Sirius smiled at Remus speaking French and at Remus’ red lips, swollen from kissing, and just at Remus. “But, I do want to keep going. It’s… kind of fun? To pretend we’re having a hotel hookup? Except I actually really love you? And some territorial part of me does want to touch every part of you anyone else did,” he trailed his fingertips along Sirius’ jaw. “Claim every part of you.” “You have me.”

“I know. What’s next?”

Sirius walked him backwards to the bed, halfway giddy at the intersection of memories. At the wish that he could show his past self the future, this future, of his beautiful husband in his arms, stripping his shirt off and tracing hard lines of muscles. Height and build smaller than him, but not by much. Remus had shown him time and time again that he could manhandle Sirius just fine. But tonight, Sirius was overcome by the desire to claim this present. To claim his desire for sex and make it his own, to claim his husband for the sake of his past self who had hardly been able to place even the smallest stake in want. He had feared every want, afraid a blowjob would make him an asshole. Afraid his teammates would somehow know if he had ass sex and they’d hate him for it. Afraid that if he let his gaze linger on a man, or pulled one aside at a bar, that he’d be immediately kicked out of hockey.

But then Remus had been before him and said, for me, it’d be worth it, and now Remus was under his lips, as Sirius attacked his neck and jaw with love, so so thankful that they had plunged into this together. They fumbled with each other’s pants until they dropped to the floor and they held onto each other as they each stepped out of their clothes. Sirius whispered a jump and then Remus’ ass was cupped in his palms and their lips were entangled in a deep kiss. Sirius loved how he had to work a bit to hold Remus, it wasn’t hard but it wasn’t easy. Nothing in life that was worth doing was easy and Remus was worth every effort and Sirius was happy to expend the effort. He plunged his tongue deeper, licked across the top of Remus’ mouth. Remus moaned and moved his hips in response and Sirius wanted .

He tossed Remus onto the bed and the mattress bounced impressively. Sirius was on top of him not a second later, moaning into the kiss when Remus wrapped his legs around his hips. They kissed and moved for awhile, just enjoying each other, the heat of desire pooling in his belly but not growing.

“Was she a good kisser?” Remus asked, panting slightly.

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. “Re, mon coeur, I have no idea.” He peppered kisses along Remus’ jaw, which was just slightly rough. “I was so in my head I wouldn’t have known a good kisser if they had jumped up and bit me.” Remus laughed and turned his head to take Sirius’ earlobe into his teeth and bite. “We were laying just like this, you on top of me, the first time we kissed,” Remus murmured into Sirius’ ear.

Sirius’ eyes tingled with the promise of tears at the thought. Something about seeing Rebecca again made the past and present overlap tonight, like he could feel both at the same time. How scared he had been to kiss Remus that night, but how hopeful making a different wish on his birthday candles had made him. “Best kiss of my life,” Sirius replied.

“Me too.” They gazed into each other's eyes for a long moment, then Sirius sighed and pushed himself up. He found his phone and scrolled for their shared sex playlist. The one that if they got a notification the other had added a song they knew they’d be on each other the moment they were behind a closed door. Sirius smiled to himself at this small intimacy and tracked down the lube and a towel. Remus continued speaking. “Even if I was more than a bit in shock that it was happening at all.” He was trailing his fingertip across his stomach as he watched Sirius moving around the room. “I remember the feel of your thigh between my legs and that felt so good, just that. That’s something I have to agree with Rebecca on, you’ve always been stupidly good in bed, from the first time.” Sirius brought the bottle back to bed, shaking his head.

“Me? Mon loup, you. Only you. It was only for you that I've ever been good for. Only you that made me so hard and desperate I have to clutch you to me and chase it.”

Remus’ cheeks were pink, from the kissing, from the memory. Sirius pressed kisses to each of his cheeks, slicked his fingers from the pump bottle and trailed them along Remus’ ass. Remus quivered beneath him, dropping his head back, and here, with one hand cupping his husband’s beautiful face, and two fingers tracing the soft skin inside him, Sirius felt fully himself. Remus always made him feel like himself, but juxtaposing it with his past made it feel even more sharply perfect. A happiness sharp enough to cut him, but safe enough that he knew he could lean into it and feel nothing but love. It felt so good goosebumps erupted over his skin.

“You feel so good,” Sirius hummed into Remus’ ear. “Thank the fucking gods I met you in the bar today.” Happiness and love that were safe enough to play with.

Remus locked eyes with him and the desire there sharpened into mischief. Sirius loved that look, the half smile that came over Remus’ mouth. “Thankfully you’re better at this than juggling, eh? I was worried there for a minute you wouldn’t be able to coordinate kissing and fingering at the same time.”

“Ohhh, fuck you,” Sirius laughed, and dove into a kiss, while spreading his fingers and pumping them in and out, making Remus gasp.

“Yes please,” he managed to say with still a hint of a smirk.

Sirius continued to show off his coordination by adding another finger and bringing his other hand down to Remus’ balls and rolling his own hips against Remus’ thigh and kissing him deeply. Remus was starting to go limp with pleasure below him, gasping and moaning into his kisses. Sirius didn’t break the kiss as he got more lube onto himself and got between Remus’ legs.

“Ready, handsome? You want a condom?” Sirius asked, not touching him now, just a hair's breadth away from joining them together, but having to take the moment to play.

“Oh my fucking god Sirius, get into me,” Remus said, reaching for his hips. But at this angle he didn’t have the leverage to pull Sirius forwards when Sirius was holding himself back.

“You sure? I’ll wear one. I’ve never fucked anyone else without a condom.” He still said it playfully, but gazed into Remus’ eyes, reminding him of the reality beneath their game. Remus was the one, the only.

“Me neither. I’m sure,” Remus said softly, and Sirius let himself be pulled forwards and they both gasped as he pressed into Remus. They hadn’t had a thought or mention of condoms in ages, but taking the time to remember why they didn’t need to, the contrast to the past, made the slide in feel all the better. Hot and wet and completely different than it had been with anyone else. Not that he'd had anyone else like this before, had never let himself ask. But now he was inside his beautiful husband whose body pulled him in deeper with each stroke, who met him thrust for thrust, who knew just how tightly to hold Sirius’ hair to make him moan. He could want and he could have .

And so he had , they went through loverboy and shivers, and then loving is easy made Sirius throw his head back and laugh at the joy of being in love and being in the moment and being with his person. Remus looped a hand behind his neck and smiled into his mouth as they moved together. “You almost, uh, there baby?” he said into his mouth. “Is this the position you liked with…” Sirius smiled to himself. Remus didn’t even want to say anyone else’s name, didn’t want to invoke anyone else when they were like this, as close as two people could be.

“I like you,” Sirius said nonsensically, pressing his lips into Remus’ cheeks as he huffed out breaths, pleasure starting to crest up his spine. He felt Remus shift though, felt his mouth open as if to ask a question. He stilled and took a deep breath to push the wave of release away, for now.

“D’accord d’accord, no, beautiful man who I met today and yet am, for some reason, replaying a night from years ago with, this isn’t how we did it.” He leaned back just enough to let Remus’ leg that had been over his shoulder pass in front of him, and guided Remus to spin on his cock, lifting his hips up until he could get his knees under him. Sirius pressed back in fully, hard. Remus gasped at the new angle, the ability to speak coherent words quickly fucked out of him. Sirius draped his body heavily over Remus so he could speak right into his ear.

“I had to get her like this so I could pretend it was you.”

Remus threw his head back and gasped, panting with every deep, hard thrust Sirius gave him. Sirius stayed with his chest bent over Remus’ back, tall enough to still be able to move and hit the spot that made Remus see stars and yell. Sirius reveled in every noise he wrung out of him, loved the firm torso under his arms, loved the sharp nipples that he rolled under his fingers, loved this man .

“Yes, Sirius, yes, I’m gonna …” Remus gasped out. “There, baby, more, yes,” his words flowed out of him in a breathy babble. With a loud, “I love you!” Remus was coming.

The contrast washed over Sirius in a wave of emotion. How no matter who he was doing this with, he had wanted to please them, yet with Remus it was completely different. He wasn’t trying to check a box, he wasn’t overthinking or worrying or planning. He was tuned in to the movements and sounds of the man he loved, the person who loved him, and their love weaved between them as pleasure. Taking pleasure only for himself wouldn't even cross his mind. But following his lover over the edge of orgasm, that was as easy as breathing, as real as the pull Remus’ body had on Sirius’ cock, as natural as coming hard in response to the tightness of Remus’ body.

“Re, je t’aime!” Sirius gasped back, and bit down into Remus’ trap as his hips stuttered and the waves crested again for both of them. Remus pushed his hips back as the dredges of his second wave tingled down his spine, just as Sirius pressed forwards, and they collapsed together; Sirius deep inside, on top of and firmly inside Remus. And he never needed anything else. Nothing had crossed his mind through this whole evening other than the sensations that Remus’ body, Remus’ very being, could and did wring from him with every touch.

Sirius couldn’t help but push forwards one more time, chasing any drop of that perfect feeling, and Remus gasped in oversensitivity, but also arched his back, meeting Sirius’ thrust. “Holy shit,” Remus eloquently muttered into the pillow sometime later. “How do you always make it so good? I felt like I was coming forever.” Sirius’ heart was near to bursting with pride and love.

“It’s all you, love. Only you.”

Remus hummed in response and they stayed like that, Sirius pressing Remus down so completely into the mattress with his full body weight, but he knew Remus could take it, and he didn’t want to ever move. But when his English had returned he asked, “do you believe me now? That it’s only you? That it’s only you I’ve ever loved, ever felt like this? Other people maybe touched my body, but only you get my heart.”

Remus ducked his head against the sheets, cheeks red. “I always believed you, baby. I just also had some jealousy come over me for no good reason.” Sirius nuzzled his ear with a smile. “I’m not complaining, I’ll fuck you like that any time you want. If there’s anything from your past that you want to re-do with me, you just tell me when.”

Remus laughed and it reverberated through both of them. He turned his neck back to the side so they could rest their faces together. They knew if either of them moved, Sirius would slip out, so they stayed still, breathing each other in, the pounding of their hearts slowing.

“And it’s not just ‘cause you’re a guy,” Sirius said, apropos of nothing.

“Hmmm?” Remus hummed, eyes still closed.

“Well obviously I like your body the way it is, I’m gay, but it’s not just that.” “Baby, what?” Remus laughed, opening his eyes. “You have me very convinced that you like my body, I know this.”

Sirius huffed a laugh and tried to say what he meant. “Ok, so I know I’m gay, and you’re hot, so of course I like your body. But even though you’re the only guy I’ve been with, I know it’s all of you. Even if I had hookups with other guys, there’s no one else that would have wanted me, and not ‘Gryffindor Lions center Sirius Black’.”

“I don’t think that’s true, baby, you’re so amazing. I’m sure other people would have realised that, if you had been able to let them in.”

“Ok, maybe, whatever, but I didn’t need to keep trying girls until I found the right one, and it wasn’t that I just needed a man. I needed you. I need you .”

“Oh baby,” Remus murmured, and finally turned in Sirius’ arms so they could be pressed chest to chest, their legs tangled and arms wrapped tight around each other. They traced light fingertips along the other’s back and sides, and both of them broke into goosebumps, shivering and melting into each other.

“I need you too. You’re all I’ll ever need.”

Sirius hummed happily and tucked his face into Remus’ neck. Both of their eyes drifted closed and they rested in each other’s arms, satisfied.

#coops #characters by lumosinlove #sweater weather #fic o ween 2023 #little bit of role play #please correct my french if needed #Sirius loves it when remus speaks french so I had to include some #sirius/remus #wolfstar

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