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Hadrian: You remind me of the ocean.
Royce: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Hadrian: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
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*buying groceries*
Hadrian: hey do you have any bags?
Royce: the only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
Hadrian:
Hadrian: a simple no would have sufficed.
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Hadrian: The only time you seem honest is when you’re insulting someone!
Royce: The only honest things I can say to you are insults.
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Royce: Why do people think I'm incapable of doing anything nice?
Hadrian: Experience.
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Hadrian: You hear that?
Royce: I hear YOU. And I wish I didn't.
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Royce: I'm in a bad mood and somebody is going to suffer.
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Hadrian: What are you gonna bring to Christmas dinner?
Royce: My negative attitude and sparkling personality.
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Hadrian: [before meeting Arista] How do I look?
Royce: I don’t care.
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I’m sorry I called you an asshole. I thought you knew.
Hadrian to Royce
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Hadrian : We are so in sync we finish each other’s-
Royce : Hadrian!
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Hadrian: After all your little speeches, you’re nothing but a common thief!
Royce: I am an exceptional thief, Hadrian. And since I’m moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
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Royce: I like people.
Hadrian: No you don’t.
Royce: I’m trying to like people. It’s just, you know, so hard to weed through the stupid ones.
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Hadrian: I drink to forget but I always remember.
Royce: You’re drinking soda.
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Hadrian: I really don’t feel like going into work today. Well, TGIF at least.
Royce: It’s Tuesday…
Hadrian: Oh, fuck!
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Myron: Royce showed feelings?
Hadrian: A feeling. Seemed like a human one. It’s hard to tell.
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Hadrian: What's your new year’s resolution?
Royce: I think I should be meaner... I was too kind this year.
Hadrian: ... I hope you fail at your resolution... for the greater good.
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Hadrian: So your plan failed?
Royce: It didn’t fail, it was pre-successful.
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