(After the kids all get redeemed) Nikolas, to Friederich: You strike me as pushy. Hans: He can be pushy. Friederich: I can also be kicky and punchy.

Paulinchen: My cats Minz and Maunz are natural-born tree climbers. Friederich: Let's learn to climb just like them! Paulinchen: Of course, they usually have grappling hooks, ropes and utility belts. Friederich: Hey, here's a great tree for climbing! Let me get on your shoulders so I can reach the first branch, ok?(Friederich climbs onto Paulinchen's shoulders.) Paulinchen: Geez, how many bricks do you have in your pockets?! Friederich: Whoa! Hold steady, you weakling! I've almost got it! Move up, move up! Paulinchen: Hurry and grab it before my spine telescopes. Friederich: (grabs the branch) Got it!… hey, don't let go! Hold me up! Paulinchen: (letting go of Friederich) Forget it! You can support your own weight, bowling ball butt. Friederich: Mmph! Mmph! I can't get up! Give me a boost!(Paulinchen unties both of Friederich's shoes and takes them off his feet.) Friederich: Hey! What are you doing?! Don't take off my shoes! Are you nuts? Hey, stop! (Paulinchen starts tickling Friederich's feet.) Friederich: Aack! Oh no! Don't tickle! Pbth! Eek! Hee hee ha ha! Stop it! I can't hold on! (Falls from the tree and lands right on Paulinchen) Paulinchen: Nice landing. I'm probably paralyzed. Friederich: All except your mouth, obviously. I'm not sorry at all. Give me back my shoes. Paulinchen: No.

(On Christmas Eve, after all the kids get redeemed) Friederich: Let's celebrate! (Pops open a bottle of sparkling apple juice) Peter: Friederich, that wasn't for you! Friederich: Oh, I'm not going to drink it, I just wanted to hear the pop. Yeah, I knew it was coming. Still scary.

Friederich: There! A full pitcher of "Friederich's Curative Elixir!" We'll charge people a euro a glass and get rich! Kaspar: But that's just dirty water from the drainage ditch! There are leaves in it! Friederich: "Fortified with chlorophyll," we'll say. Kaspar: Nobody's going to pay to drink that! Anyone can see it's filthy! It's sludge! Friederich: Hmmm… Maybe you're right. Later: Friederich: (Sitting at a drink stand) Sign on the stand: PITCHER OF PLAGUE: FRIEDERICH'S DEBILITATING DISEASE DRINK! €1 NOT TO HAVE ANY

Friederich: What are you doing, Paulinchen? Paulinchen: Drawing on the sidewalk. Friederich: Wow! Can I too? Paulinchen: Sure! Here's some chalk. Friederich: Gosh, I've never been a vandal before! Paulinchen: This isn't vandalism. It washes right off! Friederich: (tosses the chalk aside and leaves)

Friederich: OK, out of the hammock. Kaspar: What do you mean? This isn't your hammock. Friederich: It's my turn. Kaspar: I was here first. It's your turn when I'm done. Friederich: If you won't get out, then I'm coming in with you. (tries to climb in the hammock) Kaspar: (already pushing Friederich out of the hammock) Like heck you are! Later… Kaspar's mother: This crummy hammock always sags.

[Everyone looks at Friederich, who is busy trying to solve a rubix cube] Paulinchen: Doesn't he know how to solve those? Peter: Normally yes, but I switched the stickers around. I don't even think it's possible to- Friederich: Solved it! Peter: What?! No, you didn't! Friederich: Not the cube, but the puzzle of why I couldn't solve the cube. You switched stickers two, nine, thirty-two, and fifty-one. Paulinchen: Really? That thing has numbers? Friederich: Anything has a number if you assign it a number, Friend Number 4. Paulinchen: ... Kaspar: Top five, not bad.

Paulinchen's mother: I can't get a baby sitter anywhere! What should we do?

Paulinchen's father: We won't be gone long. Couldn't Pauline be left for a couple of hours unsupervised?

Both the parents: Ha ha ha ha! Ho ho ho hoo hoo har ha ho!

Paulinchen's mother: (wiping tears of laughter away) Seriously, what should we do?

{The Hunter gets out of bed and proceeds to the bathroom, where Peter is standing by the sink, having already prepared a toothbrush with toothpaste for him.}

The Hunter: Why, thank you, Peter.

{Later, he proceeds to the table, and, as it turns out, Friederich is standing by the table with a cup of coffee, a glass of water, and a plate of eggs and sausage patties in front of him.}

The Hunter: Friederich! You fixed breakfast! How sweet.

{Paulinchen puts the Hunter's bathrobe on him, over his pajamas.}

The Hunter: Thanks, Paulinchen. It's a bit drafty in here.

{The Hunter sits down in his chair. Konrad brings him the paper and a pair of bunny slippers.}

The Hunter: Uh, thank you, Konrad.

{As the Hunter is reading the paper and wearing the slippers, Kaspar brings him a bowl of popcorn while Philip pushes the television closer. Hans is holding two flowers while Robert is holding a coffee pot and coffee mug. The Hunter's suspicions have grown to where he needs to voice them.}

The Hunter: By the way, kids, this attention wouldn't have anything to do with Christmas coming up, would it?

Robert: I just ground this coffee with my fists.

Paulinchen: Turkey farm? Peter: No. Kaspar: Skunks? Peter: No. Philip: Slaughterhouse? Peter: No. Nikolas: What are you doing back there? Peter: We're playing 'what's that odor?' Friederich: Nikolas's feet? Nikolas: Fritz! Peter: You win, Fritz! Nikolas: Peter! Kaspar: Are we there yet, Nikolas? Nikolas: I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.

Kaspar: Please, sit. I, uh, I got you a tuna melt. I remembered it was your favorite. I also got chicken noodle soup, but I remembered it was my favorite and I ate it. Anyway, uh, how are you?

Paulinchen: I'm pretty good. Listen, I just wanted to apologize for ranting to you in an e-mail.

Kaspar: Well, and I ate all the chicken noodle soup. We both made mistakes.

Paulinchen: Okay.

Kaspar and Friederich: There's been some confusion, for you see, my roommate is… Kaspar: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe. Friederich: …Blond.

Friederich's mother: Well, THAT was aggravating. I got one of those shopping carts with a weird wheel. I had to shop in circles for an hour. Friederich: I hope it was in the sausage aisle.

Moritz: We’d like to remind you all that your lives would be pretty dull without us. Uncle Fritz: Widow Bolte: Tailor Böck: Teacher Lämpel: What did you do this time?

Max: You’re on my half of the bed! Move over! Moritz: Your side is way over there! Give me back those covers! Widow Bolte: You two, be quiet and go to sleep! Max: Moritz: Max: You heard Ms. Bolte, she said to get on your side and leave the covers alone! Moritz: That’s not what she said- Hey! You stole my pillow! This lumpy one is yours!

Kaspar: Hey, Fritz, you got something in the mail. It looks like a Valentine card. Friederich: Huh? Kaspar: Open it up! Friederich: It IS a valentine! Who would send me a valentine? Kaspar: Read it! Read it! Friederich: "Roses are red, violets are blue, tu-lips are what we'll be kissing, woo woo! Love, Paulinchen." AAAUGGHH! Kaspar: Ho HO! Muchas smooches por El ConKISStador! Friederich: This can't be happening! It's all a nightmare! Some horrible hallucination! Kaspar: Paulinchen loves Friederich! Friederich loves Paulinchen! Friederich: I've got to pull myself together! What can I DO? My natural studliness has overwhelmed Pauline's fragile grip on reality! Kaspar: Big, sloppy smackers! Smmmrppp! Hey, there's Paulinchen now! She's coming this way! Friederich: Oh NO! Quick! A slushball! I need a slushball! Paulinchen: Hi Frit- OOMP!!(POW!) Friederich: THAT'S what I think of your mushy Valentine card! Paulinchen: I didn't send you a Valentine card, you smelly, snot-nosed troll! Why on earth would I send a valentine to YOU?? Friederich: You didn't? But… but… Paulinchen: I'm telling! Friederich: …Then who…?? Kaspar: (singing) Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match… Friederich: YOU!! You wrote that card! You tricked me!! Kaspar: Wheeeeee! Love makes the world go round! Friederich: You're gonna see STARS go round, I promise!

Philip: What does this word mean? Philip's mother: Which one? Philip: That long one. (When Philip's mother sees the word, her eyes bug out in shock.) Philip's mother: I don’t know. Philip: YOU DO TOO!!! All right! Where’s a dictionary!?