incorrectheathers
Incorrect Heathers Quotes
"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Veronica Sawyer.
Basically, I found that I keep applying various quotes to Heathers, so why not make a blog about it. Also beats doing homework.
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Heather D: Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you
JD: Haters (my dad) can’t stand to see a bad bitch (me, nine years old) winning (“drawing too loud”)
Veronica: How do you draw too loud?
JD: Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational
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Big Bud: Why do you keep giving all the cases to these other guys?
Clerk: Because they're experienced professional bounty hunters. You're just some deluded demolition guy who took a four-hour course, learned a few choke holds, and got a hat.
Big Bud: Hm. You are familiar with my credentials, yet you still refuse to give me a case?
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Mrs. Fleming: All I'm hearing is "help, help, help, need, need, need". And yet Jason Dean, one of our most unstable students, he never complains. What is your secret, Jason?
JD: Knowing there's not much you can do, Mrs. Fleming.
Mrs. Fleming: So understanding!
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Martha: Mrs. Fleming has a...unique take on her job.
Veronica: She's bad at her job. What's unique is that she's bad at her job.
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Mrs. Fleming: What do you all think of this little film crew I brought in here?
Principal Gowan: Distracting, makes our jobs harder.
Mrs. Fleming: But exciting. We're about to be on TV!
Veronica: Because they are covering underfunded, poorly managed public schools in America.
Mrs. Fleming: No press is bad press, Veronica.
#heathers#heathers the musical#mrs. fleming#principal gowan#veronica sawyer#source: abbott elementary
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Veronica: *Ripping off wallpaper*
Mrs. Fleming: Veronica, what are you doing?
Veronica: Just trying to fill the void of random, meaningless destruction that JD's absence has left in our hearts.
Veronica: *trips Peter Dawson*
Mrs. Fleming: That's sweet, honey.
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Kurt: Hey, Heather, would you say my new chin beard is working?
Heather C:...It's working in terms of keeping me a lesbian.
#heathers#heathers the musical#kurt kelly#heather chandler#source: snl#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs
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Mrs. Sawyer: All you do is just lay there on the couch staring at that stupid TV. One dumb rerun after another.
Veronica: And I do it as well as any man.
#heathers#heathers the musical#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#veronica sawyer#mrs. sawyer#source: roseanne
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How many times do I have to say this? A woman can do everything a man can do except enjoy the films of Todd Phillips.
Heather D
#heathers#heathers the musical#heather duke#source: saved by the bell 2020#it's true to me the only valid jokers will ever be mark hamill and heath ledger#cesear romero is valid passing
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The feeling I'm doing is sad. And not a beautiful sad, like the last day of summer. It's an ugly sad, like when my mom told me I had to put down my dog. Actually, no, it's even worse than putting down my dog because I got to pick her back up again after I finished my dinner.
Ram
#heathers#heathers the musical#ram sweeney#source: saved by the bell 2020#2020 is the year shows i watched as a kid getting actually good reboots instead of ducktales being the only good one
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Ghost Heather, to Veronica: Well, if it isn't the cursed one!
Ghost Heather: How's that curse I cursed you with, Curse-ty?
#heathers#heathers the musical#heather chandler#source: the simpsons#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#mod chandler
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Heather D: This is my dog, Hillary Clinton. We rescued her.
Ram: From a breeder.
Heather D: Shut it, Ram!
#heathers#heathers the musical#heather duke#ram sweeney#source: gayle#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#mod chandler
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JD: Who has four toothbrushes, like Bill Gates or something?
Store Employee: No, that’s like, for a family.
JD: Family? Like, a whole family and their toothbrushes all together? Two slots for the parent toothbrushes and two slots for their kids?
Store Employee: Yup.
JD: So the parent toothbrushes can be close to the kid toothbrushes and watch over them and they can talk about their toothbrush feelings and they can hold their little toothbrush hands when they’re sad and make sure no harm ever comes to their little bristles?
Store Employee: Sure…
#heathers#heathers the musical#jason dean#source: the good place#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#mod chandler
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I'm fine! I used up a perfectly good pants-wetting for that!
Kurt
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I thought you were in Hell!
Veronica to Ghost!Heather C
#heathers#heathers the musical#veronica sawyer#source: animaniacs#watch animaniacs 2020 do it for this very sad unemployed cusper#mod chandler#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs
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Yes, I did steal it off the Gallery. But Heather Chandler steals childhoods, so who's the real criminal here?
JD playing The Sims 4
#heathers#heathers the musical#source: steph0sims#jason dean#i am the steph0sims of the heathers fandom i disappear and come back when i am needed#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#mod chandler
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Heather Mac: Ever since you beat up Veronica's boyfriend, you've been so happy. It's nice to see an emotional range with you for a change.
Heather C: I have range.
Heather Mac: Oh, you do? When was the last time you cried, Heather? At the end of Fatal Attraction?
Heather C: Yes, as a matter of fact, it was. When the protagonist, Alex Winters, as portrayed by Glenn Close, was senselessly gunned down.
Heather Mac: Glenn Close's character definitely wasn't the protagonist in that film, and you thinking that displays a very serious misunderstanding of the movie and life in general.
#heathers#heathers the musical#source: gayle#heather mcnamara#heather chandler#mod chandler#chaos is what queued the dinosaurs#you can't tell me heather c never once kicked jd's ass
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