incorrect-nhl
Incorrect (Very Correct) NHL
We all know these bitches have said this shit
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Mitch Marner, arguing with William Nylander: I am an excellent secret keeper! I’ve kept all of your secrets
Auston Matthews: Secrets? What secrets?
Mitch: Oh no. No. Matty. I’m not going to tell you because I’m an excellent secret keeper!
[Willy walks away]
Auston: You’ll tell me later?
Mitch: You already know
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*Connor McDavid explaining the wonders of hydration to a group of rookies*
Connor: Water is so good for you! It can solve so many problems! Want to lose weight? Drink water. Clear skin? Drink water.
Leon Draisaitl, from across the locker room: tired of someone? Drown them
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Brady Tkachuk: I have a bad feeling about this
Matthew Tkachuk: what do you mean?
Brady: don’t you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble
Matthew: no?
Brady: that actually explains so much
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William Nylander: You shouldn’t be using a straw
Mitch Marner: Yeah yeah it��s bad for the environment or whatever
Willy: No, it’s just a weird way to eat spaghetti
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Trevor Zegras: Send dudes
Jamie Drysdale: You mean nudes?
Trevor Zegras: No, I’m about to get jumped and I need some backup
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Literally any player on the entire NHL: Uh you know we just gotta pucks deep
Waiter: I asked if you wanted fries with that
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Coach Mike Sullivan: Where are you??
Evgeni Malkin: You said I’m healthy scratch
Coach Mike Sullivan: I never said that
Evgeni Malkin: oh, well can I be a healthy scratch?
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Trevor Zegras: ARE YOU-
Mason McTavish: fucking
Trevor Zegras: KIDDING ME? YOU-
Mason McTavish: fucking
Trevor Zegras: IDIOT. WHAT KIND OF
Mason McTavish : bullshit
Trevor Zegras : CALL IS THAT? ARE YOU
Mason McTavish : fucking
Trevor Zegras: BLIND?
Troy Terry: what was that?
Mason McTavish: Jamie said that he finds swearing unattractive. I’m just helping Z out.
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William Nylander: A drunk mind speak sober thoughts
Auston Matthews, drunk af: Mitch I think I’m in love with you
Mitch Marner, drunk af: hehe stomachs think all potatoes are mashed
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Jamie Drysdale, coming down the stairs: Is something burning?
Trevor Zegras, leaning seductively across the counter: Just my desire for you *winks*
Jamie Drysdale: Trevor the toaster is on fire
#incorrect quotes#nhl#hockey#trevor zegras#jamie drysdale#trevorjamie#jamietrevor#which one is it?#3446#well now it’s#611#but I’ve also seen it as#116#which one? I really don’t know#anaheim ducks
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*Playing Scrabble*
Kris Letang: I will put down my “A” and my “T” to spell “AT”
Evgeni Malkin: I will put down “R” to make “RAT”
Sidney Crosby: And I will add to your “RAT” to make
“BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC”
Evgeni Malkin: *flips board*
#incorrect quotes#nhl#hockey#pittsburgh penguins#kris letang#evgeni malkin#sidney crosby#it’s not because Sid is smarter#it’s because he’s more competitive#he studies the dictionary just so he can beat 2 guys that English isn’t their native language at scrabble
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Bryan Rust: It’s funny how when you get older, you start to enjoy things you hated as a kid
Jake Guentzel: Like taking naps
Brian Dumoulin: And getting spanked
Bryan Rust:
Jake Guentzel:
Brian’s Dumoulin: *loudly sips drink*
#hockey#nhl#pittsburgh penguins#bryan rust#jake guentzel#brian dumoulin#dumos looking at you tanger#incorrect hockey quotes
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Jonny Toews: You’re pretty dumb.
Patrick Kane: Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say.
Jonny Toews: I literally just insulted you, why are you thanking me?
Patrick Kane: All I heard was “You’re pretty” I’m choosing to to focus on the positives in life.
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Tyler Seguin *unbuttoning shirt*: Whew it’s hot in here.
Jamie Benn: I know that, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
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Kidnapper: We have your son.
Patty Marleau, counting: You have the wrong number, all four of my sons are with me.
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for timbits and made us cut the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly?
Patty Marleau: OH MY GOD THEY HAVE MITCH
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Patrick Sharp: You okay Kaner, you look a little pale?
Patrick Kane: Yeah, I just have this head ache that comes and goes.
Patrick Sharp: That sucks.
Jonny Toews: *walks in the room*
Patrick Kane: Oh look there it is again.
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Evgeni Malkin: Here Sid, nice cup of hot coffee.
Sidney Crosby: Its cold?
Evgeni Malkin: Nice cup of coffee.
Sidney Crosby: It’s horrible!
Evgeni Malkin: Cup of coffee.
Sidney Crosby: I’m not even sure it’s actually coffee.
Evgeni Malkin: Cup.
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