ihatecoconut
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[K ▪ bi but men are on thin ice ▪ she/they ▪ ba history student] DNI if terf, thinspo, MAP,
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REMINDER TO NOT TALK TO THE GUARDIAN ABOUT DIY HRT IF ASKED ❗️❗️❗️
Susanna Rustin is a huge TERF too, and a quick search of her name on The Guardian brings up repeated proof.
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Jason, having seen Medea kill and dismember her brother and also kill Pelias for him: Probably I can just divorce her
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More Enterprise x text posts/tweets because although I’m watching Voyager atm I’m ALWAYS think about these mfs!!
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sometimes im like. normal and then i remember that jack and david literally had a romcom meeting.
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someone reminded me of how mad i was when trip & t'pol's baby died in ENT so.
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Malcolm's not entirely sure what's going on, the only information he has is the hasty, "Engine's funny, need her out of there." that Trip had given him, alongside his literal child.
And it's not like Malcolm doesn't know Elizabeth, obviously he does, she's three years old and been living on the ship for all of them, but he has also never been left alone with her before.
She squirms in his arms until he puts her down and then blinks up at him with her large brown eyes.
"So," he says, for lack of anything else, "what do you do for fun?"
Elizabeth lifts one of her small hands to rub at her nose. "Chocolate."
He has a very vague memory of Trip, off hand, mentioning that chocolate has the same effect on Vulcans that alcohol has on humans. "I don't have any of that."
"Sparks." She mimes pressing two wires together.
"I don't have any of that either."
She tilts her head, unimpressed, and it's honestly a little freaky how much she can look like her mother. "What then?"
"Uh," he glances down at the tablet he had pulled out before Trip had blown in, "I need to do inventory, you wanna help?"
Elizabeth makes grabby hands at the tablet and he hands it over. From the crease in her brow, Malcolm is not entirely sure she actually understands any of it, but she eventually nods and hands it back.
"'ventory."
"In-ventory," he corrects, absently minded, thankfully she hasn't touched the screen at all, so the list from the last time he went through everything in the armory is still up.
"In-ventor-ee."
They blink at each other.
"Yeah." Malcolm eventually says. "Exactly."
#malcolm reed#elizabeth tucker#star trek enterprise#st:ent#star trek#enterprise#nx-01#ent#trip tucker#star trek fanfiction#ent fanfiction#elizabeth t'les tucker
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As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.
In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.
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i'm conducting an experiment. everyone who's from an english speaking country state your country, regional area and what you call the following images. i need to see something
#1 chips or fries depending on the mood#2 crisps#3 i have no idea what those are but they look disgusting#4 biscuits or cookies whichever#5 fizzy drinks sometimes soda#6 sweets#7 cigarettes unless im talking to an american when i call them fags because its funny#8 beanie or hat#9 candy floss
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i think instead of any obituary or news story about oj, perhaps we should just rerun some stuff about nicole brown simpson and how she was a real life woman and not some punchline and how her throat was slit so badly she was almost decapitated approximately 1 week after she called the police and begged them to arrest him, her husband, oj simpson, who had been abusing her for years with documentation. idk! maybe that’s just me
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wow no deathbed confession huh. you gotta hand it to oj simpson he can really commit to a grift [assistant discreetly whispers in my ear] im being informed you do not in fact "gotta hand it" to oj simpson
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Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)
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nice to see miyazaki has the same writing process as me
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why must i write my dissertation. why cant i just submit this 25 page annotated bibliography and call it a day
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