httpskuzuu - Tumblr blog

httpskuzuu · 5 months

Note

if your not busy then can you make more yandere chuuya l'm down bad for him lol!😭

The best gift

can we give reader a therapy session? thanks

Yandere!Chuuya x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

summary: Chuuya just wants to make you happy (I love that man)

tw: failed escape attempt, mention of punishment, broken leg, feelings of abandonment? idk

He couldn't be more fed up with you.

I mean, he loves you, but the fact that you are always unwilling to correspond to him is something that really hurts him deeply.

He even thought of locking you up in complete darkness, no light, no food. He wanted you to crawl to him afterward and ask him to get you out. He wanted to make you say you loved him.

He never got around to putting that plan into action, obviously. He's not that horrible! He's not a monster. He really loves you.

Sure anyone would put you through the most grotesque tortures to make you submissive. But he was different, you should appreciate him more.

As much as he knows you have reasons, he still finds it completely overkill because, come on, you have everything you want just by asking nicely! Everything but freedom, of course.

You want expensive clothes? Okay. You want diamond jewelry? In less than five seconds, you'll have them in your hands. Want to travel to exotic destinations? He's taking you, just don't leave his side.

All he asks is a little obedience from you, it's not that hard, is it? He's looking out for your happiness too, the more submission from you, the better quality of life. It's a win-win.

But you didn't seem to understand that.

You were in bed, lying there, not wanting to move an inch of your body. Chuuya broke your leg just two days ago. The pain was unbearable.

You didn't talk to him since that, well, except for the moment he broke it. You cried to him and begged him, as silly as it sounds, to make the pain stop.

You wished Chuuya was some mythical God so he could fulfill your earlier request.

The pain didn't make you think well, so you were crying to Chuuya, talking about your cat and how much you missed him. Chuuya was by your side, stroking your hair, listening to you attentively.

You always mentioned your cat, how you wanted him with you now, how much you loved him. In fact, most of the time when an argument happened, it was because you mentioned that you wanted to go home with your cat!

Was an animal really that important to you? Well, if it made you happy, Chuuya would bring it home. Maybe then you'd stop crying randomly throughout the day, or fighting him. Imagining you, a fighter, turning into someone with a more passive behavior just because of a cat, drove him crazy.

Chuuya warned you that he was leaving, but that he would be back quickly, he left you a pain pill along with a glass of water. He hoped you would notice that he was not so cruel, after all, he could have left you lying on the floor, with two broken legs instead of just one, as was his idea at the beginning.

You were left alone in the house. You had never felt more lonely and bad in your life. Your friends, your family, your pet, what will become of them?

You feel miserable, left to your own devices. Why didn't they come for you? Did they care about you in the first place? You were sure there should have been an investigation into your disappearance by now, but what if there wasn't? What if you weren't important enough to them?

Were you that hard to love? But Chuuya loved you, in an obsessive way, but he did. Wouldn't that be the purest kind of love?

You don't know why you keep fighting, but it's something normal in you, like something wrapped in your DNA. You feel attacked, helpless, by something bigger that can't be stopped, so you grit your teeth trying to feel safe. It's not working the same for you anymore.

You didn't try to escape because this life was bad. You tried to escape because you didn't want to be forgotten by others. What kind of life is one in which you are a ghost trapped?

But you are not selfish, you hope they are doing well. You hope they have the happiness you can't seem to achieve.

You cried until you heard the door open. You hadn't noticed that Chuuya had come home.

You looked at him for a few seconds, he had with him a black gift box, tied with a ribbon. You didn't want gifts, you didn't want jewelry that could buy you.

Sure, that was until you heard a meow come out of the box. You stopped crying almost automatically and looked at it in surprise. You could even feel the glint settling in your eyes.

Chuuya pretended not to hear the meowing. "Why didn't you take the pill? You can't complain about the pain and then be stubborn enough not to take it."

"What's in the box?"

"A present for you. I thought it might make you happier." He sat on the edge of the bed, resting the box on his legs. "You know, I don't like to see you cry."

His gloved hand reaches to your cheek and wipes away the tears. There is an impulse in your body to fight, to refuse to be touched, but you stayed still.

Chuuya put the box on the bed next to you. You struggle and manage to sit up in bed, your leg throbbing with pain, but you ignore it. You have more important things to do now.

You don't even look at Chuuya for approval to open the box, you just open it. And there it is, your faithful friend who always stood by your side. Your cat.

You cry again.

Your cat seems happy to see you again, he nuzzles his head against your hand affectionately and meows at you. You take him in your arms and hug him.

"Do you like the present?" Chuuya's voice comes through in the place only ruled by your sobs. Of course you like it, how could you not? You missed this kitten so much, it had been so long since you hadn't seen him.

You nod your head. "Very much, I like it very much. Thank you Chuuya." Your voice shakes from the sobs, but that doesn't matter anymore.

You don't have to keep staying defensive when you have a friend with you.

"I thought maybe your cat could help you to be calmer, to stop fighting."

There was always something hidden. Chuuya wanted to see you happy, of course, but if he could gain some of that happiness from you, he would gladly do so.

You nod again. "Yes, it will help me." You wipe the tears from your cheeks as you smile.

It looks like you're both happy for once.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #yandere bsd #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #yandere chuuya #chuuya #chuuya nakahara

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httpskuzuu · 5 months

Note

I’m begging for yandere Fyodor smut 🙏🙏🙏

I don’t have a specific plot in mind but I’m just so obsessed with your writing.

Attention

This is my first smut, I'm fucking embarrassed, sorry if it's not very good, I don't even know what the fuck I was writing, I did this in English class, which would explain why I keep using the translator for writing

Anyway, I try to make reader gender neutral. If at any time I have used a word that is used to refer to the male or female gender, please let me know‼️‼️

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

summary: Fyodor gives you the attention you so desperately need

tw: NSFW/smut, humiliation, degradation, use of the nickname whore, toxic relationship, yandere¿ not much

You assume you really love Fyodor, if you didn't really love him, why would you let him do this to you?

He was a motherfucker, he still is, your relationship is still just as toxic and unsolvable. At first, you wanted to change it, change his obsessive behavior, now you learned to live with it.

You liked the attention, you always liked it, wasn't an obsessive person the best thing for you in this case? You had all his attention to yourself.

"Since when did my маленькая мышь* become such a needy whore?"

You groan as your only response towards his question, enjoying his long fingers inside you. You weren't going to dare complain about his degrading treatment, after all, you had been the one who came whimpering in search of him.

"Mmmh, have I been neglecting you? And here I thought the previous time I fucked you was enough for you, how foolish of me." His breath is in your ear and all you can do is cling to him tightly. "I should be harder this time, don't you think?" He finishes his speech with a dry slap on your thigh, leaving a red mark for the remainder of the night.

Part of you knows you shouldn't like it so much, but you ignore it completely.

"A-Ah! P-please! I'm going to-" Your moans are loud enough to stifle your words.

Ah, it feels so good, and it's even better that you're being made to feel this way by a man as attractive as Fyodor. No matter how toxic he was with you, there was a part of you that constantly told you that you loved him. Maybe it was true.

… And this is already the second time he's made you cum with just his fingers.

"If you're like this with just my fingers…" He said in a mocking tone, filling you with humiliation. "I can't wait to see you with my dick inside you."

You watched in a blur of pleasure as his hand went down to pull down his own pants. It would be a good night, you're sure.

why do i do this kind of thing? my god...

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #yandere fyodor #fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #yandere bsd

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httpskuzuu · 6 months

Note

hello. not sure if you’re still active, but i recently came across your work and instantly became smitten, as you write scenarios that i have been seeking out for ages. not to mention, you have such a beautiful writing style, portraying the characters realistically and coming up with so many wonderful ideas. are you still accepting requests at this time? if you are, i would love to send something in, as you are really the only blog that i feel does a good job of writing for yandere!fyodor.

tysm for the kind words, it means a lot to me ^^

and yes, I'm still accepting requests, just been a bit inactive lately :p

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

Text

This way

I've been in some transphobic situations lately and wanted to write something to make myself feel better

Atsushi x Ftm!Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

sumary: You don't feel very comfortable with your body, Atsushi helps you a little

tw: dysphoria

"Do you think I look like a girl?"

The question is harsh, clinging to your throat, unwilling to come out. It fills you with shame when it shouldn't, but if you ask something like that, wasn't it admitting that you are? Wasn't it admitting that you couldn't even see yourself for what you truly were?

Your reflection isn't yours, it doesn't feel like yours. Since when is your face like that? No, impossible, you're not like that. Since when are your hips so wide? Why are there suddenly such feminine features on you?

You hate yourself, you haven't done it for a long time. You had Atsushi by your side and that always helped you, but now, even though you still had him with you, you hated yourself again.

It's like a dog chasing its tail, but the difference is that after a while the dog stops for a distraction, Atsushi in this case. Then it goes back to chasing itself, so it's like nothing happened.

"What are you talking about? You're the prettiest boy I know." He comes up behind you and hugs you from behind. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with seeing you feminine, honey."

There isn't, you know that, you repeat it to yourself every time you put on a drop of makeup, or wear colors cataloged for girls, or paint your nails. There's nothing wrong, but if you're feminine, people will think you're a girl, right? You don't want to be a girl. You're not a girl.

Why did you have to be born this way?

"I don't know if I really feel like going out today…" You mutter. You know Atsushi would understand and accept it, but that doesn't stop you from feeling a little selfish. You don't admit it out loud.

It physically hurts to keep having your eyes fixed on the mirror in front of you, your chest tightens and you feel like crying. You wish you were just overreacting.

"Okay, darling, is it okay if we move our date home?"

"Yes, better."

"I want you to remember that no matter how feminine you look, you're still a boy. My boy."

And, finally, you allow yourself to cry without considering yourself something you're not.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #atsushi x reader #atsushi x you #atsushi x y/n

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

Text

Softer Pt.2

I like October, it's my birthday month, and I finally finished the second part of Softer :p

Anyway, I think you can tell that I like the word need, necesitar, in Spanish or English sounds good :D and this is my favorite part, I think, I really like how they both turned out

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

sumary: You tried to escape and now you have to take the consequences, but you make something change in Fyodor... (but the part 2 >:p) Pt.1

tw: yandere behavior, kidnapping, explicit self-harms, blood, manipulation, brainwashing, stockholm syndrome, reader needs therapy, self-blame, suicidal thoughts, mention of death (no one dies), blood loss, manipulation, trauma, mention of god, Fyodor is a fucking tw

It was three phases from your confession and your punishment.

Everything was perfect and nice for the first two weeks, until your cuts became scars. He seemed to go out of his way to make you feel good and loved by him, and you were very grateful. Now, you feel ungrateful to be complaining about his change.

After six weeks, your ribs healed and he began to distance you. When you noticed that, you panicked, you cried whole nights and days in your room because of this fact, how was it possible that something like this had affected you so much? You don't even know yourself, you just know that you wanted to pull out every hair on your body to forget about the emotional pain you were carrying.

And now, well, you can't be so horrible and say that Fyodor is back to his usual self, it's more like a strange mix, that comforts you. That this Fyodor is a mix of the previous ones makes you think he's trying to be gentle, but he's having a difficult time. You like to opine that that's the right reason for not sinking you further.

You wish you could say you hate normal Fyodor, but you can't hate any part of Fyodor and that worries you. What's been happening to you? Why are you behaving this way? Always looking for the terrorist's cold touch like an abandoned dog. Always waiting for him like a dog, loving him like one, messy, intense and ready to die for your owner.

Your mind was broken, atrophied and without any hope of repair. That scares you. You don't want this! You want your mind back! You miss being able to think about something else that isn't related to Fyodor. It's like being an intruder in your own mind, you no longer belong in that place full of happy memories, now blurred.

Sometimes you love your useless mind, you love believing in him the way you do, and you love how that seems to satisfy him. Maybe that's all your mind is looking for: to satisfy him.

Speaking of satisfying: he no longer seems to enjoy punishing you, which completely disorients you. All your life you were assuming that the only way to satisfy Fyodor was to let him mistreat you, but now? Now he was only touching you to give you light caresses. You don't want to be an idiot, you love that now your body doesn't suffer, but that doesn't take away from the fact that a small part of your skin is missing the pain. It's as if you were created to be hurt.

You convince yourself that you are ungrateful. Fyodor has changed for you, and you play the victim, saying that everything is so weird, poor you. You can't think about anything else besides yourself because you are a bad person, because you don't deserve the change Fyodor made for you.

It's not like before, everything is so much more comfortable in his presence, even if afterward he disappears for hours and makes your mind a prison of horrible thoughts, thoughts of firmly believing that it's your fault he's gone.

Physical contact has also changed, it is somewhat more common than with normal Fyodor, but it is nothing compared to gentle Fyodor. It really hurts you inside every time he is in front of you, and he isn't touching you or talking to you. Something is broken, and you don't quite know why. How needy of attention have you become in this time?

What did Fyodor do with your mind? You don't know. The horror of what he did to you is still in you, lurking like a shadow. It won't go away.

Sometimes there's a little voice deep in the back of your head, the only sane part left in you. It shows up on dark nights, when you're alone, makes you realize all the shit Fyodor put you through and how much he fucked up your mental health. You like having that little voice, it feels like getting over Fyodor somehow, it's a shame it disappears the next morning along with the first bite of breakfast.

Even though you listen to it, you never mind it, and that can be noticed by the need to not be able to bear it anymore, you need Fyodor so badly. You miss him every time he's gone. You miss the person who hurt you.

Maybe you really are going crazy.

You think about the fact that Fyodor took care of you after the punishment, when you were moribund and almost unable to move from the pain, and that his kind behavior ended after all your damages were healed.

You were about to do something crazy, you were aware of it, but you would give anything to feel that angelic temperature change again.

You have a sharp knife in your hand, you squeeze it so hard that your fist turns white. Fyodor never hides sharp objects, only pills, he knows you wouldn't be able to kill yourself with them out of fear.

Something tells you to kill yourself, to teach Fyodor a lesson.

Again your ungrateful thoughts come back, he already told you, you are just a brat. A fucking brat, and what you were doing now proves it.

But can you really blame yourself for this? You just need his attention, you need that love in his hands, you need him to care so much about you that he locks every drawer in the house.

That's why you're here now, in the bathroom, with your elbows resting on the sink and the knife almost brushing against your clean arm. About to kill a part of you to keep his gentleness alive.

You think about whether it's possible that he might be angry with you for this, for staining your skin with wounds without his permission. You think if he gets angry and punishes you it will also be worth it because there is a chance he will take care of you after that like the first time.

Maybe all you need to do is talk it over with him, maybe you need his naked body against yours to keep control, or maybe a simple kiss would be better. Maybe you should relax, maybe you should ask him for a hug, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe….

A cut and the blood starts to spread. You feel an immense urge to vomit, and you regret everything that led you to this moment.

You drop the knife limply and cover the wound with your now free hand. You watch the scene you've made for yourself with wide, shocked eyes. Why did you do all this? Just for Fyodor's attention? How pathetic of you.

You're like a child, crying and screaming, having a tantrum to get what you want.

You don't even heed your thoughts, and your gaze returns to the knife lying in the sink. The fright has dissipated and only silence remains. You need to cut more, how will you make Fyodor care about you with just one cut? You need more, you need to tear your arm if you have to, take your skin off, anything.

It's just a cut.

You move your hand away from the wound, blood is still coming out, but you don't care. You grab the knife, careful not to let it slip through the red fluid, and keep cutting.

It's just a cut, a few cuts, many cuts.

You stop when you get dizzy and lose your balance, drop the knife on the floor and miraculously you don't fall with it. You lean against the wall behind you and watch as the floor fills with your dripping blood. It's too much, too much, oh God, now you're going to die, aren't you? Is that what's going to happen?

You deserve to die, or at least you convince yourself of it, you're just a useless entity in Fyodor's house, what other function do you do here besides pursuing him? It would be like a punishment for being so selfish, for loving Fyodor so much.

Sometimes it surprises you how much you hate yourself just because you are you. Would you hate Fyodor the same way if he were like you? You don't even need to think about it, you already know the answer.

You hear footsteps outside the bathroom. Of course, you made some noise when you dropped the knife and almost fell yourself in the process. Fyodor had to notice, wait, that meant that Fyodor was paying attention to you and the noises you were making. He could just stay absorbed in his work, but no, he's here now.

Three soft knocks on the door are enough to make you tremble.

"Everything okay?"

You cry the instant you hear his voice, yes, there's the soft Fyodor. You recognize hints of tenderness and concern in his voice., you can recognize it.

You shouldn't have cut yourself off, now you change your mind and you don't want Fyodor to see you this way, weak and unbearable. If he realizes that you can't live without him by your side, you're sure he'll leave you, that you'll be too annoying for him and he'll go back to being his old self, this time forever, or until he gets rid of you, until he finds someone better than you. That would be easy.

If there is a God up there, you beg him to let you die. There is no answer. You're left to face your actions alone.

"I've done a stupid thing…"

You still have time to think better of it, you can still barricade yourself in the bathroom and die there. But these are your actions, your consequences.

You shakily open the door.

The look on Fyodor's face is one you've never seen, that keeps you from lowering your head with shame. You've never seen so many emotions in him, all at once, like a whirlpool.

Have you been able to generate that? You don't know whether to consider it a good or bad thing, but a flow of pride runs through your veins.

Fyodor whispers your name, breathless, his accent thickening even more. A part of you actually believed that what you did to yourself would not affect him in any way, how foolish, of course it would affect him. He is human, you are human, but still something tells you that Fyodor is anything but human. His eyes now show you otherwise.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot! I didn't mean to bother you."

Fyodor takes only a few seconds to drag you back into the bathroom. He turns on the sink faucet and guides your arm down the stream of water. It hurts like hell, but complaining doesn't even cross your mind, after all, Fyodor probably stopped doing something important just to cure your mess, you can't give him any more trouble.

Your mind would like to escape your body, but you don't let it because without it you wouldn't be able to feel Fyodor behind you, pressing his chest against your scarred back.

As he runs a soaked towel against your cuts, you decide to lean against him, he doesn't push you away, and you take it as a small victory.

Your brain won't let you enjoy of the moment, giving you reminders of everything the Russian had done to you: the scars on your back, all over your body, the agonizing nightmares, the silent and devastating nights. All a fucking reminder, and yet here you are, against his body.

Your thoughts linger in that confined space until your arm is tight between messy bandages. His hand reaches for yours and your fingers intertwine.

You fear his potential annoyance, his potential punishment. He provokes unique feelings in you, and you love him, but he is terrible, he is just terrible.

Fyodor lets out a sigh, and you know instantly that you are selfish. He is tired, he has better things to do besides taking care of a brat, but still he is still with you. Fyodor is such a merciful being when it came to you, he wouldn't be this way with anyone else, only you. You feel your chest tighten with warmth.

"Fyodor…" You don't want to speak too loudly or break the silence in the room. You try to keep your thoughts in the same rhythm as your voice, quiet and low. You need to be okay, for Fyodor's sake.

"Why?" He squeezes your hand. There is no emotion in his voice, and you feel guilty of your disappointment at that. "Why did you do it?"

"I-" The words decided not to come out of your mouth and closed your throat in a knot, a very painful knot.

What were you supposed to say? Wouldn't admitting your need for attention make you sound like a spoiled child? A brat?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." You say hastily, trying to find words to make Fyodor happy, so he won't hate you for your reckless actions.

"You don't bother me." Bullshit, Fyodor is an almost pathological liar, you should know that, it should be burned into your memory. You'd like to believe him. "Is this why you did all this? Because you think you're bothering me?"

You wish the answer was as easy as that. You shake your head.

"Then why?"

"I needed you." It's not a good explanation, there are a lot of loose questions left, but how else can you tell him? Every time you speak, it's like scratching your throat.

"Needed me? You mean my attention?" You nod, feeling a humiliation run down your throat. "I was with you all these days, what more attention do you want from me?"

It's like a stabbing, like the cuts he gave you on your back. It showed, from afar, you were just a pet that can't be away from its owner or it would break into pieces. You shouldn't be crying either, you have no good reason to.

"Hey, no, stop." He turns your body without effort. All you do is keep your head down, full of shame, though it doesn't last long, as his free hand lifts it up and lands against your cheek. You don't deserve it, you can't even stop crying. "What did I say? Why are you crying this time?"

"I'm a spoiled brat." You lean against his cold hand, you needed his touch so badly.

"You're not, you just wanted me to give you attention, that's not a bad thing."

"It is! I'm being selfish." The sobs interrupt you, and you close your eyes, you don't want to look at Fyodor. How can you ask for love and attention from Fyodor when you yourself don't know how to love properly?

"Selfish? Why?" Your reason that the only reason for his question is to make you humiliate yourself, to make you admit that you are a nuisance.

"B-Because you were probably busy, I'm just bothering you trying to get your attention…"

"I want you to pay close attention to me right now, can you do that?" Even if you couldn't do it, you would anyway. You're not lying when you nod in response. He's all you can think about and fixate on, everything else is ephemeral and useless, nothing else is needed for you.

"Good... You don't bother me, I understand you want more attention from me, I made your mind that way anyway. Stop feeling bad about doing things you're programmed to do." Hearing him admit that, is like a war in your head, you should care that Fyodor played with your mind like a stuffed animal, but what you should is not the same as what you do. It feels like a relief to know that it is Fyodor is causing it all, and it's nicer than you ever imagined.

Your mind will never go back to normal after this. You will never be the same after this. That's okay, you can live with it as long as you have Fyodor by your side.

You collapse against him, hugging him with no intention of letting go. He accepts you in his arms. Now everything is warm again like it was that time, you needed it so badly after everything that had happened.

"It's just that you've been acting more distant and I thought-" Do you really want to keep talking and sobbing nonsense? You have no intended trajectory with your words.

You just hope Fyodor understands you, it's the only thing that will give you calm.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay, no need to cry anymore, моя крошка." His hands on your back undeniably comfort you. His touch feels like fire, but it doesn't burn, it just leaves a trail of warmth and desire everywhere it passes.

You are a sensitive, desperate mess, and no one knows how to love you but Fyodor. He is the God you have always pleaded to, now you understand why he never granted your wish to die.

"This is strange for me. I've never cared for anyone before, and I really don't want to hurt you unintentionally." And there's your long-awaited why. It's warmer than you could have ever thought, your heart is silently grateful. He's trying, that's good enough for you.

Maybe you can't go back to that first day of care after punishment, maybe you can't go back to that new and gentle Fyodor, but those are things that happen and that's okay.

You nod, oblivious to your own reality, everything feels correct. "I get it, it's okay, yeah. You don't have to worry, I'm fine now."

But you keep crying.

You don't know or need to know how long you stood there, holding each other as if both of your lives depended on it. In total silence until Fyodor's voice broke it. No doubt that's your favorite tune.

"моя любовь, I never responded properly to your confession, did I?" He never did, but he never denied it. There was always a glimmer of hope that you took as the word yes, as total acceptance of your feelings.

You look at him with enlightened eyes, you wished that what your mind was imagining was real.

"I love you too."

Fyodor's love is paralyzing. You notice it now.

my favorite part is the dog part, idk, I like how it turned out

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #fyodor #yandere fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd x y/n #yandere bsd #yandere

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

Note

Dios, amo AMOOO la manera en la que escribes. Tu one shot más reciente de Fyodor es arte, te juro que me lo voy a tatuar. Es uno de los mejores que he leído, tiene una manera de llegarte increíble, me encanto.

Y si no te molesta la pregunta, consideras que harás segunda parte? ^^

te respondo en inglés para que los demás también puedan entenderlo xd

omg tysm for all those compliments!! when I uploaded it I didn't think people would like it, but I'm very happy to see that I was wrong ^^

and yes there is going to be a second part, it's not finished yet by far, my mind has been very hyperactive with several ideas at once and it's confusing to put them in order. Anyway, I've almost finished the initial draft so it won't take too long

(I leave you two small parts of the draft, it is probably poorly translated, but I think it is understood)

You deserve to die, or at least you convince yourself of it, you are just a useless entity in Fyodor's house, what other function do you do here besides chasing him? That would be like a punishment for being so selfish, for loving Fyodor so much.

------

You are selfish, you know that well, he could have been doing much more important things, but instead he was here, with you, waiting for you to wake up. Fyodor is such a merciful being when it came to you, he wouldn't be this way with anyone else, only you. You feel your chest tighten with warmth.

"Fyodor…" You don't want to speak too loudly or break the silence in the room. You try to keep your thoughts in the same rhythm as your voice, quiet and sleepy. You need to be well, for Fyodor.

#bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #yandere fyodor

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

Note

kuzu write the second part w fyodor pls im begigng you sobbing and on mh knees

yesterday I started writing a (very poorly done) draft of the second part sooo I don't think it will take long

I may have it in a couple of days, I write fast :p

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

Text

Softer

hola :D fyodor is alive - fyodor esta vivo I was thinking about making a masterlist or something like that, I don't know if when I upload this I will have it published or how I will do it

anyway, I really liked this and enjoyed writing it, it's longer than I usually post but Idk, by the way, I hated translating this, it was a pain in the ass, but that's what I get for joining a mostly English community ññññññññññññ-- well, this is mostly inspired by Sinner by TheBloodySadist, you can find it in Ao3 if you want to read it, I had an obsession with it a few months xd

jaja this has gone on too long, well, adiós adiós :p

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

sumary: You tried to escape and now you have to take the consequences, but you make something change in Fyodor... (juju, mistery >:p) Pt.2

tw: yandere behavior, kidnapping, failed escape attempt, explicit punishment, explicit violence, blood, broken bones, humiliation¿, manipulation, brainwashing, stockholm syndrome, reader needs therapy, stabbing, nudity, sedative, Fyodor is a fucking tw

You tremble under the weight of the boot on your ribs, you swear that at some point you hear them cracking along with an agonizing pain throughout your body.

The pressure on your body makes it impossible for you to breathe properly, which is a serious problem considering you are hyperventilating. Every breath burns your exhausted lungs and aggravates the pain.

You'd ask Fyodor to kill you already if it weren't for the fact that your throat is in a terrible condition from so much screaming and pleading.

"Well, I see I can't trust you, can I?" Despite the situation, Fyodor's tone provokes you inner anger, sounding so sarcastic. Something deep inside you tells you it's not sarcasm, it's concern, but you can't believe it, especially not coming from Fyodor.

You imagine that, if you had the strength at this moment, you would kill him with your own hands. You know well you wouldn't be able to, but it's pleasant to think about it.

"I do everything for you, and still you try to escape." He puts more pressure against your ribs and you've never felt as much pain as you do now. "You spoiled brat." He growls and his Russian accent becomes much thicker.

He removes his foot from your body and you can breathe. Relief courses through your veins and, out of pure instinct, you thank him for that act of kindness. He could have stretched it out longer, put more pressure on you and broken your ribs more, but he was merciful and gave you a break…. A break, you know that your punishment is not yet over.

You don't know yourself and your thoughts. One thing you have to hand it to Fyodor is that his training is really effective, but you're tougher than that, or at least you like to think so. Realistically, right now, you just want to curl up against him.

A kick in the side snaps you out of your thoughts, you moan and cry from the pain, your throat burning with fire. You never want to utter a sound again in your life after this.

"Aw, you poor thing… Does it hurt? Now you know how I feel every time you leave me." He's lying, you know that, but that doesn't take away the guilt that settles in your head free-form.

You shouldn't have run away, Fyodor isn't even that bad if you behaved: no gratuitous physical harm and he takes better care of you than you could ask of a kidnapper. You were an idiot, you deserved all this for not appreciating your life with Fyodor properly. God… Why did you try to escape in the first place? The Russian would always would catch you, you were just causing trouble.

Ignoring your destroyed throat, you decide to speak. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't try to escape again. Please give me another chance, I'll be good…"

Fyodor kneels down next to your agonized body. He puts his hand against your tear-stained cheek, at first you flinch, thinking he was going to hurt you more, but then you lean almost automatically against his cold hand.

You cry harder as you feel Fyodor's gentle touch, you don't quite understand what's wrong with you, you just know that you want to melt against his hand. You close your eyes and tremble. You want a hug from him, you know you shouldn't want that, that it's disgusting, he kidnapped you and hurt you, but at a time like this, when you've been disobedient, he's still showing you affection….

"Shh, it's okay, милый." He catches the falling tears with his thumb. "I know you're sorry, but your punishment isn't over yet." You automatically tense up and slowly open your eyes to look at the man in front of you, there is a smirk of superiority painted on his face, observing your pathetic appearance.

You don't dare open your mouth to complain because deep down you know very well that you deserve it, you deserve the pain for being so bratty and causing inconvenience to Fyodor. You accept what lies ahead of you and let Fyodor pull his hand away from you.

With his grip firmly on your hip, he guides you to turn around. You keep the cheek that was previously receiving the loving touch against the ground a thousand times colder than Fyodor.

You concentrate exclusively on the Russian's hands, it's just an idiotic attempt to ignore the pain all over your body. He pulls up your shirt, leaving your back bare against the cold, why is everything so cold all of a sudden? Fyodor is too, in a way he brings you peace of mind, it's like he's everywhere, even in the air…. What the hell are you thinking? You firmly believe you're delusional at this point, these are not your real thoughts, it's clear to you, he put all these idiotic ideas in your head and now you can't get them out. It's agonizing in a certain way.

The only thing you hear is your irregular breathing, if it wasn't for Fyodor's hand clamped on your hip, you would think you were alone right now, and you don't know if you would like that more or less.

Something sharpening presses against your upper back. Everything breaks down in a moment as Fyodor makes a straight cut across your entire back. It hurts horrendously, especially as the blood starts to spurt out. You start to feel dizzy and for a few moments you convince yourself you're going to pass out, but no, your body is still holding on, focused solely on Fyodor's hand.

"Breathe, моя любовь. It's just a cut." You repeat Fyodor's last sentence in your head like a mantra: it's just a cut, it's just a cut. He could have done it much worse to you, you were fine, just a cut.

You take comfort in closing your eyes hard and imagining that you are once again a child at the doctor's office, that you are simply having blood drawn for a blood test because you have not been feeling very well lately. You make a fist with your hand and clench it, digging your fingernails deep into your palm, it's as if you are clutching the hand of one of your parents for comfort. There is no more pain, it's okay, it's all right-

Another cut, this time horizontal, creates a cross on your back. You don't care, you're at the hospital, and you're safe, nothing will happen to you. It's just a cut.

Fyodor stabs the weapon into your side. You open your eyes wide as a torn scream comes out of your mouth.

Fuck it all, do you really deserve this? Have you been so horrible? You assume that Fyodor simply hates you, that he wants to torture you.

Fyodor pulls the weapon out of your body, you look out of the corner of your eye and the wound doesn't seem to be that bad, you thought it was deeper because of the pain, but no, it was something apparently superficial. You didn't want to know how much it would hurt if he had really stabbed you deeper.

Fyodor's voice right next to your ear startles you. "Sorry, was that too much? Did I hurt my little one too much?" That mocking tone again, but you hear a hint of love and concern, or so you assume. No, it's impossible for Fyodor to hate you, if he hated you there wasn't that hint of love, was there? If he hated you, he wouldn't say to you like that: my little one, his little one.

"I can't take it anymore! Please, Fyodor!" He leaves a chaste kiss on the back of your neck, and you cry disconsolately, you don't know why, but you do know it's not because of the pain, the pain doesn't matter anymore.

"You can." Fyodor's voice is the ultimate authority right now, and if he says you can take it, it's because you can. "You don't want to disappoint me, do you?"

After those words you instantly panic, you desperately shake your head, of course you don't want to disappoint him! You have to accept your punishment, it was your fault in the first place.

"Brace yourself, dear." Fyodor leaves a trail of kisses from the nape of your neck all the way down your back, above the vertical cut. You assume he's filled his lips with blood and hate yourself at the thought of how attractive he'd look like that.

A new cut interrupts your hatred. You scream, but nothing more, you can take it, for Fyodor….

It's just one cut.

You don't know how many cuts there are next, you are not able to count them. You don't feel your throat anymore, but miraculously it still works, your screams are still coming out of it, you are relieved because you still want to keep your voice to talk to Fyodor, to ask him to hold you.

Fyodor removes your shirt completely and lays it aside on the floor. He holds you firmly and helps you sit up, any movement is hell for your ribs, but you endure it by concentrating on your kidnapper, on his loving but steadfast touch.

You look at him dizzy, teary-eyed and shattered. He is smiling, you have not disappointed him. Your head hurts as you cry disconsolately against his chest again.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying now? Your punishment is over, I won't hurt you anymore."

"You…" You're unable to speak, it's too much at once, the pain and your thoughts coming together in a ball of discomfort. You shake your head and hug him tightly.

"Are you afraid?" You weakly shake your head. It's true that Fyodor scares you, especially on these occasions when he punishes you, but you're not crying about it now.

Funny, you don't know why you're crying, but you do know what you're not crying about.

Fyodor is silent, thinking about why you're crying. "Is it about the pain?" You deny again.

Fyodor hums thoughtfully. "If you don't tell me what it is, I can't help you." You ponder on that: does he want to help you? Is he serious?

You make the feeble attempt to gather your thoughts and speak. "It's just- I don't know" Your voice comes out shakier than you wish it would. "When you touch me… It feels so good, I don't deserve it, I don't-"

"Oh, I see… Aren't you crying because of something bad? Is it because it feels good?" You nod quickly, yes, that's as close as you feel. You're happy when it touches you, when it's good to you. Were you crying out of happiness? Well, you guess so, although it feels more depressing.

"It's okay, relax." He leaves a kiss in front, and it breaks you inside. "You've taken the punishment very well, come on, you deserve to be taken care of."

The process of getting up from the floor is horrible, not only because of the pain all over your body and your numb legs, but because your mind doesn't stop spinning around Fyodor's last sentence. It feels horrible and so good at the same time that your mind is only around one specific person.

He helps you up and you let him lean your useless body against his. He guides you through the house, being patient with your slow pace. He's mostly silent, except when he tells you how well you're doing or that not long to go. Since when did Fyodor know how to talk so pleasantly?

You reach the bathroom, he sits you on the toilet and turns on the bathtub faucet. While it is filling, Fyodor takes some pills out of a drawer that you have always found locked. You don't know what the pills are or what they're for, but he hands you one and you take it without question.

You let your head fall against Fyodor's stomach, even though he is standing upright he doesn't move an inch and lets you be comfortable, he strokes your hair and you sigh lovingly. You don't deserve it, but you need more of this Fyodor, the soft Fyodor who takes care of you and makes you feel good, what did you have to do in the future to keep it in this shape? If you need to be damaged for that, well, you are willing to do it.

"The tub is full." He warns and moves a little away from you, causing you to raise your head. You miss a little that he's touching you, even though he's only been separated of you for three seconds. He holds you under your armpits and helps you up. "I need you to stand up on your own, can you, дорогой?"

You try not to focus so much on Fyodor asking you if you could do it instead of just sending you the order, and focus on standing on your own.

The Russian undresses you completely, his hands are soft, and you feel them all over your body. They are so cold, and you are so cold too now that you are naked. You are vulnerable, now more than ever, and Fyodor's fixed gaze on you disturbs you. You are simply an easy prey to hunt, his prey.

He doesn't look like a hunter now, as much as his gaze is like knives stabbing through every spot he focuses on, you think he's not doing it on purpose. Fyodor doesn't know how to be nice, he never has. He knows how to be neutral: he can keep you alive and give you necessities, but he can't kiss you and keep you warm.

But there's something wrong with all this, he's being warm because since when are his hands so soft against your battered body? You need him, you need him so much it hurts, is this his way of being nice? Okay, fine, you accept it without complaint.

When he puts you in the tub you want to die, the cuts on your back burn at the contact of the water. You don't dare say a word at that or ask Fyodor to pull you out, you're afraid you'll upset him, that he'll get tired of you being so weak and whiny and stop being gentle. Fyodor could have left you lying on the cold floor, bleeding, but he didn't. You can't be an unbearable child to him.

The Russian starts washing your body, putting special emphasis on your cuts and the wound on your side. You look at his serious face with need, why were you only now realizing how handsome he was? Mmmh, you must have been blind before. He notices obviously your shy look on his lips and he smiles, that smile indicating that he was superior to you and despite that, he was still keeping you alive and forgiving of everything you did.

He approaches you and gives you the only thing you needed to be satisfied for today: a kiss. It reminds you of all the good things, strangely enough in those memories Fyodor also appears and disturbs you minimally.

You question yourself that, maybe, Fyodor does know how to be gentle.

This is the proof you need to know that now this was a new version, right? He kissed you. You feel a warmth spreading throughout your body, now it is warm, and his hands are warm too. There is a big change in temperature and it feels like heaven.

After that, Fyodor continued to wash you with special care, ignoring how your face might explode from how red it was.

The only thing that could crush the heat was tiredness, you almost fell asleep a couple of times, but you didn't want to fall asleep because it would be like wasting time with this soft Fyodor, what if tomorrow he returned to his serious and impassive face? You can't waste this time or you would regret it.

"Go to sleep, take it easy. I'll take you to bed when I'm finished." You looked at him as the most merciful being in the world. He cared about you…

You hold back your sobs for these acts of kindness, you don't want to cry anymore, not only to avoid possible discomfort in Fyodor, but for yourself, the headache is unbearable.

You let yourself fall asleep, with your head supported on your knees and Fyodor's soothing touch.

You had a nightmare which you don't remember, or don't want to remember. You wake up with your body held in Fyodor's arms, warm and gentle.

Since when did everything become so homey? Homey? Would that be the right word? Describing any situation involving Fyodor with that word doesn't feel natural to you.

You find it hard to feel your body, and your thoughts don't flow as quickly and aggressively as they used to. It's like being enveloped in a cloud, full of comfort and calmness.

You just feel something on your side, at the site of the shallow stab wound. You think maybe it's some bandage, but your limbs are asleep and too comfortable against Fyodor to move them to check. Otherwise, you feel nothing, only someone else's hand on your lower belly, it's extremely intimate in your perspective.

You turn your sleepy head and glance sideways at Fyodor. He seems calm, looking at you, his face is emotionless again and it scares you. You come to convince yourself that he is still the soft Fyodor, if he wasn't his hand wouldn't be on you, he still hasn't changed, you repeat that to yourself until you believe it.

"… Fyodor, do you know what?" Your voice comes out weak and hoarse, you wonder how soon your throat will heal. You're thankful you can't feel it well, so there's no pain anymore.

"Mmmh?"

"I think I love you."

"Do you?" There is a change, minuscule, but a change.

You nod and look away from his face, you can't stand it, no. There has been a change, you don't know in what. There's been a change, a change! Is it good or bad? You want to think it's a nice thing.

"You're different."

"I am? In what way?"

"You're softer, something nice."

"You're drugged, you don't talk sense."

"But you're different! Seriously, you never take care of me."

Silence rules the room and it hurts. Why did you talk? What idiocy, it's your fault everything that happens now, all your fault.

"You cried with happiness when I helped you sit up." Your gaze returns to the other.

"I know, so what? You want me to cry again?" There are no bad intentions behind your comment, there really aren't. You feel your brain empty, and you can't quite interpret the situation, what is Fyodor trying to tell you? Is he angry? Is he going to punish you again? It's exhausting to use your brain in this state, so you just give up and go with the flow.

"No, I don't want that." The silence stretches a little longer and, for just a few seconds, Fyodor looks away. He looks away. "I just… I thought maybe you'd be happier if I treated you good."

"Ah…" He wanted you to be happy? Really?

"I know I hurt you, but you know I only do it when you deserve it, don't you?" You nod and the cuts on your back burn for a few seconds. "Good. I really want you to be happy, with me."

You feel like at any moment the old Fyodor will appear through the door and say something like it was all a test, and then punish you for failing it. It's a horrible feeling, but you come to believe that it will seriously pass.

"So… Are you still going to be soft?"

"Yes, only if you are obedient in return."

Yes, yes, yes. He's going to keep being gentle. For some reason your chest hurts, and you sob, Fyodor has a few drops of surprise in his expression. You hide from his gaze and just focus on the yes, it's like releasing a horrible burden out of your body. You weren't afraid he was lying, something told you he wasn't, his expression maybe, or his voice, or….

"Are you crying with happiness now too?"

"I like the soft Fyodor…"

"Mmmh, that's good, isn't it?" He pulls you a little closer to his face and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead. You'd like to kiss him in return, but you can't move. "I'll keep being soft then."

I swear all I could think about while writing this was to to send it all to hell and make these two fuck

maybe I will make a second part

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd fyodor #fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #yandere fyodor #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

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KIDDO

★ call me kuzuu or just kiddo ;) ★ he/him ★ spanish ★ entp ★

BLOG

★ bsd blog ★ yandere blog ★

tw: this blog contains dark content, specifically yandere themes. If you don't feel comfortable with that, please leave

➜ Masterlist

➜ Requests open (if a character is not included in my masterlist, it is because I don't write for it)

➜ No rules, only basic dni yk

Be nice, adiós adiós :>

this was fun to do :D

the artwork is not mine, credits to whom it may concern

#masterlist

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httpskuzuu · 7 months

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MASTERLIST BSD

★ ON=Oneshot ★ R=Reaction ★ HC=Headcanon ★ D=Drabble ★

☾=Yandere

♡=Fluff

♜=Angst

☀=Smut

✯=My favorite

➜ ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA

(D) This way ♡ You don't feel very comfortable with your body, Atsushi helps you a little

DOPPO KUNIKIDA

nothing for the moment...

OSAMU DAZAI

(ON) Handsome boyfriend ♜♡ You come out of the closet as a trans boy to your parents and it doesn't go so well, thank goodness you have your boyfriend to comfort you

(R) Darling who clings to religion as an escape ☾

(D) Little Spoon ♡ Your amazing boyfriend bandage your cuts

(D) "But I love him" ☾ You keep yourself locked in the kitchen to get away from Dazai, it doesn't work

YUKICHI FUKUZAWA

nothing for the moment...

➜ PORT MAFIA

PM!OSAMU DAZAI

nothing for the moment...

CHUUYA NAKAHARA

(ON) Mom I'm tired ☾♜ Sick of everything, you try to commit suicide

(ON) Smoke ☾✯ You go out on the balcony to smoke while thinking about Chuuya and your new life

(ON) The best gift ☾♜♡ Chuuya just wants to make you happy

(D) Automatic doll ☾♜♡ sometimes it's good to relax with Chuuya

RYUNOSUKE AKUTAGAWA

nothing for the moment...

GIN AKUTAGAWA

nothing for the moment...

SAKUNOSUKE ODA

nothing for the moment...

➜ DECAY OF THE ANGEL

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

(ON) Cello ☾ Your kidnapper invites you to listen to him play the cello

(ON) Feel better ☾♜ Fyodor finds you self-harming in the tub

(ON) Please, Fedya ☾♡✯ On one of the few walks that Fyodor allows you to take, you meet a kitten

(ON) Softer Pt.2 ☾♡♜✯ You tried to escape and now you have to take the consequences, but you make something change in Fyodor...

(R) Darling who clings to religion as an escape ☾

(D) Everything you need ☾♡ Just a relaxing time with your boyfriend and your broken mind

(D) Attention ☾☀ Fyodor gives you the attention you so desperately need

NIKOLAI GOGOL

nothing for the moment...

SIGMA

nothing for the moment...

the artwork is not mine, credits to whom it may concern

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httpskuzuu · 8 months

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I LOVE YOUR WORK^^ 🫶

omg, when I recognized your profile I got so excited that I accidentally hit a fresh piercing, it hurt more than I'd like to admit

anyway, I'm very happy that you like my work, I like yours too <3

#my nose hurts:((#this shit burns

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httpskuzuu · 8 months

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"But I love him"

It's been so long since I've posted, sorry :")

Yandere!Dazai x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

tw: kidnapping¿, yandere, toxic relationship, a bit nsfw maybee¿ idk, nothing explicit

Cooking had become a good habit, it kept you entertained and most of the time away from Dazai. Dazai was forbidden to enter the kitchen, it was obvious why.

You felt calm and happy away from Dazai, sometimes you cooked slower than usual, so you could be alone longer. Dazai's company came down to thinking about the freedom you no longer had, well, he doesn't exactly hold you hostage, but it felt like you were, Dazai always had an excuse to keep you locked up.

You didn't know when it was that your relationship became this way. The first time you saw his questionable behaviors, you talked to him, but he didn't change, so you broke off the relationship. Within days, he would come back to your house, asking for your forgiveness, promising to be a new man for you, asking for understanding because "it was not easy for him to change his behaviors". That pattern of breaking up and coming back was repeated more times than would be healthy.

You loved him too much, that's why you always forgave him, that's why you ended up accepting being locked up.

Dazai startled you, entering the kitchen with a smile and an excited aura around him. Before you could move, he hugged you from behind, keeping his face sunk into your shoulder.

"What are you cooking, Belladonna?" he hummed as he left little kisses on your neck. You tried to turn to look at him, but his hands were tight on your hips and didn't look like they would move easily.

"Dazai, let me, I'm busy" He ran a hand under your shirt, caressing the skin of your waist. You sighed almost without realizing it. "Dazai…"

You should end this relationship already.

"Please… I need you." He was leaving marks all over your neck and shoulders. You didn't care either, it wasn't like you were going to leave the house anyway.

You know well that breaking up with him wouldn't work, if he asks for forgiveness again you won't be able to refuse.

One of his hands moves to your jaw, holding it and turning your face to look at him. He kissed your lips with need as he pressed even closer together, your bodies fully joined now, and you still don't have the heart to walk away from him.

You still loved him in spite of everything, that was what bothered you the most.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd dazai #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #yandere dazai #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs

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httpskuzuu · 9 months

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Smoke

Yandere!Chuuya x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

tw: kidnapping, yandere, suicidal thoughts, nsfw thoughts¿ (Idk what to say to that, it's just a phrase really), smoking mentions (reader and chuuya), mentions of: broken bones and punishment

You were on the balcony, sitting on the floor while your legs slipped through the bars of the railing.

You take a puff on the cigarette held between your fingers. It wouldn't be the first time you thought about throwing yourself off, it would be a quick way to get away from Chuuya, but you really didn't want to die, you just wanted to escape the obsession that man had for you.

You tried to escape before, but Chuuya always managed to come after you. The first time he let you pass, the second time he broke your legs with the help of his skill, and the third time he hit you so hard that you ended up fainting. He was ignoring you until the pain was so unbearable that you had to beg for forgiveness.

Death was your only way out, and yet you refused to die. The idea that being with Chuuya wasn't so bad always helped you: he was respectful and, despite his bad temper, he never laid a hand on you except when you ran away. Besides, he bought every single thing you wanted, although it cost a bit to get him to buy you the clothes you liked, let's say that Chuuya didn't like the idea of you dressing like a vagabond, but he accepted it in the end.

If you simply forgot that you were kidnapped and that Chuuya has an unhealthy obsession with you, you could get used to living like this.

You took another puff on your cigarette. Your gaze fell on the people walking down the street, all with normal, free lives. You doubted any of them had a mobster obsessed with them.

Nights like these reminded you that you couldn't get used to living like this.

The faces of your friends and family would never leave your mind.

The reminder of the pain Chuuya gave you for just wanting to be free would always be there.

Another puff. The door behind you opens and abruptly pulls you out of your thoughts.

There's Chuuya, looking at you. You hadn't heard him enter the house.

"There you are, I couldn't find you anywhere." He approached you, you just gave him a smile and tried to make it look as real as possible. "What are you doing sitting on the floor?"

"It's comfortable." You said as you shrugged and looked back towards the street. You took another puff on your cigarette. "Will you sit with me?"

It was never that bad to share time with Chuuya, he was a nice man and, if you ignored all the bad stuff, you liked him, in a uniquely platonic way.

That was the main problem, that you could only see him in a platonic way and he could not. That's why you stayed away from him: it's awkward to remain friends with someone who has probably thought about fucking you more than once.

Chuuya sat down next to you and took out a pack of cigars. "And here I was wondering why my cigars were disappearing." He looked momentarily at the lit cigar in your hand and then took one out of the pack, put it to his lips and with a lighter lit it. "You could have asked me for it."

"That would be too boring, it was more exciting to be on a mission that you wouldn't find me out."

You looked sideways at him, as much as you only saw him as a friend, you couldn't deny how good he looked with a cigar on his lips. You asked yourself, without any shame, what it would be like to fuck him while he smoked... The idea wasn't bad at all.

You thought about the relationship escalating to friends with benefits wouldn't be bad, but if you did that he would think you loved him or something, and you honestly didn't want to go through the awkward conversation of "I know you love me, but I just want to fuck you, so…"

You don't know how much time you spent together on the balcony, smoking and in silence, but it was the most enjoyable time you could imagine.

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #yandere chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you

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