Do you think it's cringe or based if I write a fanfic that's literally just my WoL going through the main story? in my headcanon fanfic my WoL has a totally unique class

writing stories about your little guys is always based

someone should tell the Wheel of Time guy that it's called a "clock"

kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

Archetypes | THE TRICKSTER

See him hiding in plain sight, with charm and flair, smoking your cigarettes and drinking all the rum, promising you the moon with one face and stealing your immortal soul and your pocketwatch with the other. The trickster more often than not cannot be understood, merely guessed at, for he wears many masks and takes delight in playing the fool to make greater fools of others. He is a black hole at the centre of the story with many reflecting facets, a blind spot in the hero’s vision, sucking up all the love and light and truth and turning them into shining rupturing distractions. He is a gateway to transformation and the underworld, with chaos at his right hand and death at his left, and a terrible whimsy in between. Change is the song he sings, and chaos the ruin that he wreaks. Like a particularly toothsome shark, he will never stop moving onward.

He cannot abide any absolute or rule, will rattle at the cages of authorities until they come tumbling down. He likes to watch worlds crashing and burning and whirling like a whizzing firecracker with them. He has no care for good or evil, no need for the usual vices and virtues of humanity. Where others see fate and patterns, morality and honour, gods and righteousness, he sees only lies stretched over mayhem, and plays with them like a child playing cat’s cradle. Lies are his mother tongue, and with them he shapes and reshapes himself and the world to his liking. He may be destructive or merry, precise or bacchanalian, dealing out death or candy or all at once, but he is never, ever tame. He has no means but chaos, no plan but disorder, no motive but winning whatever fickle game he is playing against the universe, and so may be left standing alone in a burning wreckage that he never intended to create. (He will probably laugh for the flames anyway).

He charms, he whittles at wills, he holds up a mirror to your soul and will twist your mind until everything you see is so warped you will trust only him to speak the truth. And the truth he will speak; only just enough truth to fit his purpose best. He is not a guide; though he may become one by chance or boredom. Humanity is a fascination for him; an ongoing project. He may hate, or he may love, but only in strange ways unbound from traditional emotion, from right or respect or truth, but in creeping, crawling, manic ways that burn and turn the object of his love inside out; that sends them howling mad into the abyss until they destroy themselves or come out the other side burned clean, like earth scorched and made fertile to grow things not seen ever before. 

What he desires above all else is to be free, free to pursue his pleasures in all their caprice and recklessness through the playground of the world. Yet often, in the end, he is bound for his crimes against nature. He will always rise again. Change is his game.

Examples: The Devil, Hannibal, Jack Sparrow, Tyler Durden, Loki (when he’s not trying to rule the world), Robin Goodfellow, Iago, Prometheus, Howl Jenkins, the Doctor, Alice Morgan, Moriarty, Anansi, Coyote, The Joker.

How many years of memories does Mat have from the Eelfinn?

Grunting, he closed his eyes again. Cute? Light! And short. Only Aiel could call him short. In every other land he had been in, he was taller than most men, if not always by much. He could remember being tall. Taller than Rand, when he rode against Artur Hawkwing. And a hand shorter than he was now when he fought beside Maecine against the Aelgari. He had spoken to Lan, claiming he had overheard some names; the Warder said Maecine had been a king of Eharon, one of the Ten Nations … that much Mat already knew … some four or five hundred years before the Trolloc Wars. Lan doubted that even the Brown Ajah knew more; much had been lost in the Trolloc Wars, and more in the War of the Hundred Years. Those were the earliest and latest of the memories that had been planted in his skull. Nothing after Artur Paendrag Tanreall, and nothing before Maecine of Eharon (TFoH, Ch. 22).

Ok, so let's call that 500 years before the Trolloc Wars (500 AB, After Breaking), which started in 1000 AB and up to Hawkwing's death (FY 994). What is that in real time?

808 years from 500 AB to the start of the Trolloc wars + 994 from the start of the FY calendar to Artur Hawkwing's death. There's an unknown gap of time between when the Trolloc Wars/After Breaking calendar ended and the FY calendar starts, so I'm going to call it 23 years. 808 + 23 + 994 = 1775 years. Mat has a 1,775 year span of memories, which is also the year the American revolutionary war started. clap for him

"you will look for themes and motifs in media that isn't worth the effort" i will look for themes and motifs in the dirt. on the ground.

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

The Perrin Aybara School of Problem Solving

*gently picks up problem*

*puts problem down and out of the way*

Problem solved

Calling Realm of the Elderlings readers!

My beloved aunt-in-law and cousin-in-law (who are fantasy readers and who trust my taste in books for some reason) have ‘heard RoTE is really good’ and want my opinion. I told them that I know many people who have read it & the consensus seems to be ‘it will hurt you and you will like it’. Also, that the subtext and the text do not always align.

Is this right? What else would you say about it? Would you recommend it to people who have read Wheel of Time/have read other doorstopper fantasy?

griddlehark, in bed the kiss

Birdwomen Family: Harpyidae

Birdwomen are the most common of magical creatures, appearing on every continent except for Antarctica*. Opportunistic omnivores, birdwomen take the form of massive carrion birds, typically corvids, vultures, condors and eagles, with the heads of women. They appear to be exclusively female; however, some species such as the Mediterranean harpy (Harpia strophades) do pair up during the mating season, with members impressing prospective partners by inflating a pair of gular sacks at the base of the throat similar to the behaviour of frigatebirds (family Fregatidae) and the greater sage-grouse (Centrocercus urophasianus).

The magic of most species of birdwomen are affiliated with storms and disease. The alkonost (Harpia bilibinae) lays its eggs in the sea, and their hatching causes thunderstorms to form, while the droppings of the Mediterranean harpy immediately befoul food.

While most species are reluctant to directly attack humans, birdwomen have no qualms in consuming carrion. Multiple cultures report birdwomen as constant companions to sites of battle and bloodshed. Nordic myths of Valkyries spiriting away the dead are almost certainly inspired by the sight of Scandinavian species of birdwomen feasting on the bodies of the slain after battle, possibly the crested harpy (Valkyria cristatus), nicknamed by professional harpiers as the "Thor's falcon."

The North American birdwoman (Harpia canadensis) is the largest known species of birdwoman, with species standing between five and six feet tall, with respective wingspans of 12 to 15 feet wide. Easily identified by their black, iridescent plumage, North American birdwomen exhibit an intelligent, often playful and curious personality. While native to western and central Canada and the northwestern United States, one birdwoman was sighted in Point Pleasant, West Virginia through the late 1960s; following the 1967 Silver Bridge collapse, one harpier reported seeing this same birdwoman consuming the bodies of two disappeared travellers who had washed up downriver.

*Sightings of the "penguinwomen" of Antarctica are unsubstantiated and should not be counted as fact.

All of this, especially the terrifying Seanchan finishing school Olver is about to graduate into from his War Apprenticeship. I gotta say, Mat really has not done enough to directly address Olver's revenge quest. I think everything he's tried has been way too oblique. I think he's aware that Olver wants to visit the *Finn specifically for revenge quest reasons, and he tries to convey to Olver that the snakes and foxes are deadly serious and not a game. Unfortunately, for Mat 'deadly serious' and 'it's a game' are not at all mutually exclusive, and Olver does what Mat does, not what he says.

I also think he pushes back a little when Olver says things that imply all Aiel are the same. I assume he's giving Olver more realistic information about Aiel than the stuff Olver would have heard growing up in Cairhein or seen from the Shaido. But again, talk is cheap and Olver copies what Mat does, not what Mat says. What Mat really needs to do is show Olver that there are Aiel that he, Mat, respects and is friends with. (Rhuarc would be perfect, too bad he's unavailable for much of the series. Aviendha might do in a pinch. Did Mat know Gaul at all?) Finally, I think this is what Mat's Quest for Olver's Literacy is really about: obliquely counterbalancing Olver's extremely violent and masculine education. It's partially educating him for his new social class (whatever the hell that is, but it's definitely a step up from where he was) but I also think it's not a coincidence that everyone Mat ropes in to teach Olver to read is an older woman. I don't know if Mat even realizes that he's looking to give Olver a maternal influence, but I think that's what he's doing when he focuses on Olver's literacy. (Mat's also clearly not a big reader and probably had issues with it himself, so I understand why he'd outsource it, but then why not outsource it to wildly overeducated Thom?) Mat doesn't always have actual mothers available, so he makes do with the hot older women that are always hanging around him for some reason.

I like thinking about how the trauma of the series effects the Ta’veren boys and the Wondergirls- but like- have we considered how absolutely messed up, feral and dangerous Olver will be as an adult?

This kid spent his formative years participating in an active war zone. He rarely spent time with his peers instead spending time among a bunch of soldiers- not even just soldiers, mercenaries- many of which were barely adults themselves and had zero experience with raising children. His main caretaker is a dude who up until this point has not matured a day past sixteen and liked it that way. Despite Mat’s best efforts, none of them had a clue what they were doing. Now if Olver was just a little socially stunted from trauma and lack of friendships with peers that would be one thing- but this kid has also been taught an eclectic number of skills most of which are related to violence.

We are told directly that Mat and the other men in the band have taught Olver how to use: crossbows, longbows, swords, spears, and throwing knives. Kid has a whole ass arsenal he can use. He was given ample practice with both horse riding and care. Thom was teaching him to play the flute and juggle. Cards, dice, flirting with women, dancing, stones, the basics of daes de mar- stealing horses. This kid was raised as a soldier, a thief and a noble.

That’s just what we get in the books- let’s say Olver stays with Mat post-canon and is raised in Seanchen occupied Ebou Dar alongside Mat and Tuon’s child. Any skills Olver learned among the band would only perfected among the Seanchen blood.

Olver states multiple times his intention to go to the tower of ghenji and seek the Finn’s answers and gifts- now let’s say Olver manages this without Mat catching him and keeping him from doing this- the amount of possibilities for what Olver could attain from the Finn of he survived the trip is astounding. He is also fueled by a desire for revenge against the Shaido for killing his father and driving him and his mom from Cairihan resulting in her death. And famously having a revenge motive in fiction is a flashing Danger sign.

Olver and Tuon have a lot in common, small and unassuming on the surface but we’re raised to be dangerous. Raised to always be alert and ready for anything. They are both trained killers from the time they were young. Their formative years spent learning that the world is cruel and the only way to survive is by being smarter, faster, and stronger than your opponents.

This isn’t even considering any specialized training he may receive, from groups like the deathwatch guard or even warders depending on the circumstances. Or the possibility of Olver being a channeler which is always a possibility. Olver would be exceptionally dangerous as an adult- and depending on how the others in his life care for him post tarmengedon he could be a genuine threat to the dragons peace of he decides that All Aiel are guilty for the actions of the Shaido. He could also follow in Mat’s footsteps however and dedicate himself to protecting those in his life currently. The possibilities- my brain is whirring

Various Laios situation headcanons:

Pans labyrinth - He would NOT eat any of the food from the table, thats just boring regular food. Marcille does not let him dissect the pale man.

Orpheus & Eurydice - He will want to try the salt. of course Chilchuck beats the shit out of him so he doesnt.

Cutthroat Kitchen - He WOULD have won but he gets disqualified. It is not explained why and the episode is heavily edited

Pokemon - Yes, Even Pikachu.

Since the first two seasons of The Wheel of Time made Liandrin a complex and popular character, Dain likeable and Masema hot, I fully expect that Season 3 is going to turn Gawyn and Elaida into fan favourites.

how long do you think tumblr will be around for?

This is not a place of honor

absolutely no one:

Madeline L’Engle, writing a wrinkle in time at some point in the early 1960s: what are kids into these days? comparative religious studies and theoretical physics, right? Yeah?