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“This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar on your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.”
— Clementine von Radics, from “Mouthful of Forevers”, in “Mouthful of Forevers”
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I’m never as free as when
you’re holding me tight, yet
the starry scent of bruised
memories knot my voice in
reverse, everything I do is a
love letter to you - do you
say my name when it hurts?
sometimes I dream about the
doorways you walk through &
wonder when one of them will
be mine; yes, I would have you
again, even if I would have to
miss you again
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your voice broke my heart
& though I wanted to hold
your tears until my hands
turned into oceans, this
loneliness can miss you
all by itself, back when we
needed nothing but our
eyes on each other, loving
you was always the answer,
but surviving you was always
the question. You should be
here where I love you & not
where I miss you
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your words are poison and yet I still raise the glass to my lips hoping it will go down smooth
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Some people will say that they spiral out of control. Well, I plummeted. So fast I dove down with no one strong enough to stop me. Down I went furiously grasping for anything to help soften the landing. I ended up pulling down the people trying to keep me from falling.
I don’t know if I can forgive myself for brining pain to the very people trying to shield me from feeling it.
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“I am hard to love
but know this much:
you are the only thing I like doing
more than writing poems.”
— Mouthful Of Forevers, Clementine von Radics
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me: wow things are actually going really well for once!
the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:
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Goodbye Self Control
Look at what you’ve come and done to me, thanks to you, I barely recognize myself my previously legendary self control became such a raging inferno that I can barely breathe,
(You’ve made such a fine mess of me.)
Look at what you’ve come and done to me, you with your mouth and eyes and voice my previously legendary self control became a joke, and I crave you like nothing before,
(You’ve made such a fine mess of me.)
Look at what you’ve come and done to me, with your hands and kisses and touches my previously legendary self control became the very ocean that threatens to drown me,
(You’ve made such a fine mess of me.)
Look at what you’ve come and done to me my previously legendary self control became a thing of the past and I relish this newfound freedom, darling, you’ve made such a fine mess of me.
- Ely C. Winters.
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u dumb if you let me go
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quietness, stillness, gentleness, tenderness for you, always.
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And I’ll always remember the way you looked at me for the first time, as if you saw the whole world I’d hidden silently within myself for years.
- o. leary
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“I admit to being capable of an astounding level of selfishness, caprice, and cruelty. Many storms I weathered were those that I summoned. But even on my worst days, did I deserve the pain you inflicted or the nightmares you inspired?”
— tara love / what did i do to deserve this
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