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heartlandians · 6 days

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Filling Empty Spaces (Amy/Mitch), part 228

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11->.

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won’t be too many grammar errors.

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The silence lingered as Mitch expected Lou to expand her reasoning a bit more while she expected him to immediately say yes.

"Just like that...?" Mitch asked, sensing that this wasn't going to be as easy as Lou made it sound.

Still, she insisted sticking to that narrative.

"Just like that", Lou repeated, spreading her arms a little to gesture exactly how easy it would be for Mitch to accept the proposal.

Mitch walked closer, starting to get frustrated. This was a matter of heart, and he didn't appreciate when others didn't show these type of situations the kind of respect they should be given.

When he got nearer, Lou's body stiffened and she brought her arms back to her chest in order to appear more intimidating.

"Come on, what's the catch?" he demanded to know.

"There's no catch", Lou insisted, looking him dead in the eyes.

Even though she probably thought herself to be a good liar, there were tells Mitch could read. The tone of her voice, the defiant look on her face and even the way she stood in front of him.

He held her gaze for a while, then shaking his head.

It was clear she wasn't going to be honest with him, so Mitch didn't want to waste any more of his energy.

"You know what, I'm good", Mitch said as he started making his way to the house, pass Lou.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see Amy desperately, but he didn't like that this would no doubt make him indebted to Lou. He had decided to cut ties with her - several times already - and he wanted to stick to it.

Otherwise she would never stop dragging him into some sort of dramatic situation he wanted no part of.

"What...? Seriously?" Lou seemed surprised, turning around and digging her heels into the gravel.

"What is this?" Mitch finally spat out, turning back to face her. "Is this some sort of game? Revenge? Power trip? Are you here to torment me because you don't approve of us and somehow that's my fault? Because I can tell you, I'm at the end of my wit right now and I want nothing to do with this - whatever this is!"

Lou seemed shaken, but it wasn't because of what Mitch had said. It appeared something else was eating her up inside.

"Okay, fine", she finally decided to come clean. "Maybe I need... to redeem myself, or something."

Mitch narrowed his eyes. "What does that mean?"

No matter how much Lou tried to explain herself, it seemed like he was always left with more questions than answers. It was probably deliberate too.

"Okay - well, in my defense - I was trying to make things right. You know, call clients who needed calling, cancel appointments that needed cancelling, inform people who needed informing", Lou began.

She seemed tense, but then sighed and rolled her eyes; Mitch knew right then and there that she was going to get sidetracked and stall the story.

"Maybe I should curse myself for actually being able to push Amy to use the calendar on her phone instead of the paperback she used to have at the barn office, but--"

"Lou, just spit it out!" Mitch demanded when he wasn't sure if this rambling had any point to it.

The older Fleming sister blushed out of guilt and swallowed with difficulty. Her gaze began to wander.

"I needed to access Amy's phone - her calendar and contacts - so I used her fingerprint to unlock it, and... yeah, I checked her appointments and cancelled them, but... I also... might have taken a look of other things as well", she finally admitted.

Mitch pinched the bridge of his nose as he realized what she was confessing.

"Wait - you went through her phone?" Mitch checked if he was understanding this correctly.

His eyes rose slowly up after being closed, just in time to see Lou's simple, embarrassed nod.

"Lou!" Mitch let out. "That's--that's invasion of privacy!"

Lou let out a dramatic sigh, like she was gasping for air as Mitch pointed out the obvious.

"I know! Trust me, I know! -- What I don't know is what got a hold of me, but I just couldn't stop myself, it was all right there, and I..." Lou continued, holding the sides of her head like she could no longer keep it in.

Mitch began to walk in circles, feeling so angry on Amy's behalf.

Lou continued: "The point is, I want to make things right. And there's not much else I can do right now, with her being in a coma, but maybe... she would like it if you could come and see her."

Mitch needed a pause to collect his thoughts.

It wasn't that their messages with Amy had been that risqué or that there were pictures or conversations he wouldn't want others to see simply because they were meant for just the two of them, Mitch thought, but who even knew what Amy had in her phone otherwise. She was allowed to have that privacy, and now Lou had invaded that space.

Letting out few breaths, Mitch tried to reel back his exasperation.

"Look, I don't know what you've gone through in her phone, maybe some stuff that involves me, but when-- if she wakes up, you have some apologizing to do", Mitch preached, trying not to fall apart because he still wasn't sure if Amy was even going to make it, no matter how much the hospital staff was trying to help her.

"I know, I know..." Lou kept repeating. "You aren't telling me anything I haven't already said to myself. But I can't change it now... The least I can do is offer you a visit to the hospital."

Mitch didn't know what to think. He wanted to go so badly, but at the same time, he didn't know if he liked that it would come at the expense of something like this.

Lou was to blame for her choices, but would it even be right to take advantage of this situation?

"So...? What's it gonna be...?" Lou asked, looking for her absolution.

"I need to think about this, I'm just... too mad right now. I do want to see her, but... not because you want to make yourself feel better about something you did", Mitch said, even if he felt like his only chance of getting to see Amy right now was slipping away.

But it just didn't feel right to do it like this.

"Okay", Lou could only accept that as she couldn't force him to do anything he didn't want. "Well, if you want to do it, just... let me know. I know you don't have my number, but... I'm sure you can find it online, if you really want to."

She began dragging her feet back to her SUV.

Mitch turned around again, feeling the tears stinging his eyes. He heard Lou open the car door, but then it sounded like she stopped.

"For what it's worth", Lou hollered across the yard, making Mitch seize.

What now...?

"I know I wasn't supposed to see anything on Amy's phone, and I know you think you might know what I think about you or... your relationship, but... from what I saw, Amy seems happy with you."

Mitch stood still, his chin feeling heavy as it began to quiver.

"And yeah, this might not be the most ideal setting, but I guess it doesn't matter, because my opinion shouldn't matter, but... I want my sister to be happy", she continued.

Lou stared at Mitch's back, not knowing how he was taking this, but at this point she felt like she had nothing to lose.

"I know Amy and I have different ideas about what we want from life, and I don't know that I will ever understand the way she sees the world, but... I know I have to respect that", she spoke. "I haven't been good at that, but... if I'm taking anything from this then let it be that I will no longer get involved with anything she decides ever again. I guess as a big sister I feel like it's my duty to guide her, but... It seems the more I tell her what to do, the more I will get ignored. So... what's the use? Still, the main thing I would want for her is happiness. And I think... she is happy with you."

Mitch turned around, almost as if to check if Lou was being serious.

It seemed like she was being genuine. For once.

Mitch didn't know if Lou's realization coming at the expense of this type of invasion of privacy was the only way it could have been reached, but at least it sounded like she wasn't trying to make things difficult for Amy anymore.

If it even mattered at this point...

Maybe it had been too little, too late.

"That's all I've ever wanted for her too - or for anyone. I know it isn't all up to me, but at least I'm not trying to add to her baggage", Mitch said back, not knowing what else there was to say.

He didn't mean to add to Lou's agony right now, but it seemed like she was taking the last part personally - based on her expression - even if it was not an intentional dig on his part.

Maybe the fact that it seemed to hit her so hard was that there might have been some truth to it - and she knew it too.

"I hope you allow yourself to be happy one day, Lou. I just don't think this is the way. I get sometimes we are our own worst enemy", Mitch continued. "This... self-sabotage isn't going to make you happy. You're smart enough to know that looking into Amy's phone wouldn't make anything better. Whatever the source of this urge is, find it and heal from it. For your own sake."

Lou had not expected any type of compassion from Mitch anymore, so she stood there stunned.

"I'll try", Lou promised, then stepping inside her car as she began to feel a little weak emotionally.

As she turned the key and steered away, Mitch was left standing alone.

His mind went back to his conversation with Leah, and the topic of healing, how tricky it all was. Even though he was mad at Lou and she often seemed to be able to push his buttons these days, at the same time he felt sorry for her.

It was obvious she, too, needed healing from something.

As it turned out, most people did.

Exhausted, Mitch dragged his feet and sat down on the porch, realizing how this emotional situation was taking a physical toll on him as well. These past few days had felt like a year, and he had no idea how long it would still keep continuing.

That was the hardest part - not knowing.

It was strange to miss Amy, as she was not here nor gone. In fleeting moments Mitch forgot she wasn't just at Heartland, helping horses, and he couldn't just text her, telling how he was thinking about her.

Even going through their messages to help him keep her close felt too much right now as he suspected some part of it would make him feel even worse; remembering how he had felt when writing something or thinking just how he had not known what was to come.

Not to mention, reading through them and thinking how Lou had potentially read them too would change the feel of them overall.

Rubbing his face in exhaustion, Mitch felt the tears come, again, and he let them.

#heartland #fanfiction #filling empty spaces

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