heartgirlsalways
(*▔＾▔*)
♥︎they/them, 20!, i write poetry♥︎
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CUZ MY HEART IS BURNING BURNING BURNING !!!!!!!!
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i wish i could grasp the deepest parts of your soul
smell the flowers that bloom in your thoughts
soothe to the worries of your beating but overbearing heart
you are as beautiful as one could define
you are everything that one could dream
you are a beam of light in a world of shadows
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being able to touch your skin is probably one of the most gut wrenching feelings ive ever had the glory of experiencing
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your skin is pale
paler than it should be
fingers curl around the glass
water drips off the cup onto the table
you don’t notice it
i do
your laugh is loud
louder than it should be
i giggle to cover up the embarrassment of my stumbling words
you tell me its not embarrassing
its human
your eyes are pretty
prettier than they should be
i glance over at you whenever i need to feel centered
you don’t notice it
or maybe you do
your smile is perfect
perfect as it should be
you grin at the next boy whos caught your attention
i tell myself its not jealousy
its human
i think ill always like you more than a friend should
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I think I’m in love with someone I can never have,
as well as
someone I don’t know.
He has this energy about him,
life sucking energy.
10 minutes around him
feels like 10 years off my body,
my mind, my soul.
Nothing I say to him is what I truly want to say.
It’s never how I truly feel.
I compliment his clothes, his talents,
when I really want to compliment his soul,
his eyes.
God, his eyes. So pretty.
They wander though, to me.
Pretty often, actually.
It’s haunting how much his piercing gaze is caught in my peripheral.
Not that I’m complaining.
Anything to soothe this primal urge
that’s he’s meant for me.
Despite me knowing near nothing about him.
It’s that energy,
dream inducing energy.
I dreamt I followed him around in this post apocalyptic world for like hours.
Embarrassing, right?
What’s more embarrassing is how much I continued to think about his words towards me, his care of me,
well into my waking hours.
Despite those words, that care,
not even being from him.
I delude myself into thinking normal human actions have some alternative meaning,
that he wants me like I want him.
I imagine he’s just too shy to make a move,
which only makes him more endearing,
this fraud I’ve made up in my head.
An imitation at best,
I can’t even completely picture him in my mind,
but I do my best.
I daydream of him caring for me,
adoring me,
loving me.
I daydream of me caring for him too,
I would do it so sweetly, so lovingly,
if only he’d let me.
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