royai and their mental health
here’s my little contribution for September 10th: the World Suicide Prevention Day (x).
Mental health has always been my personal advocacy, as I've been studying psychology for almost four years. So I'm very happy to share this analysis. This was first published last year (link), but I've made necessary revisions and I've added a lot of additions to it.
FMA Manga, Volume 15 Cover
Please note that these are all assumptions and theories, so it’s not canonically announced, even if there are some that are heavily implied. Take it with a grain of salt.
It should also be noted that this analysis was never intended to romanticize war crimes, the trauma it brings, or any mental illness. This was solely meant to point out, triangulate canon information, and connect the dots between the behaviors that each character has shown in the canon series.
Trigger Warning: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Implied Suicidal Ideation
This is also in celebration of my first year in the fma fandom, which led us to a total of 1.6k+ followers on the fma blogs that I run (@hanamuri , @fullmetalanalyst , @hawkeyebullets). Thank you, everyone, it's so nice to be with people who love FMA and royai as much as I do! You help me cope with life.
(very long post. you have been warned)
Note: Tumblr has recently set a limit to the number of photos per post, so I am only allowed to upload 10 photos this time ����
If you wish to read it with all the photos, you could check this docs link (but it does not have the image descriptions).
In [FMAB Special Episode 4], it showcases a vulnerable moment for Roy. He ended the life of his friend back in his military days, and Hughes came to him as his emotional support.
He asks Hughes, "Why am I killing the people of my own country?"
Hughes answers his rhetorical question and says it’s because the Ishvalans started the war. Roy dismisses this by saying (non-verbatim) it's a lame excuse to disguise slaughter. Hughes attempts to change the subject, sharing his plans after the war and thus, what keeps him going. He tells Roy that he plans to propose to Gracia after the war. "Once this war is over and things have calmed down, I'm thinking about proposing to her"
Roy, stuck in his pessimism and grief, asks Hughes if he’s guilty of the things he’s done. "You'll embrace the woman you love with those hands covered in blood?"
Hughes reacted violently at this and pulled Roy by his collar. “Raising a family with the woman you love is a universal right.”
As such, Hughes believes he has to earn that right. This implies that he sees things he’s done in Ishval as the price for wanting to achieve a peaceful future with his wife. He tells Roy that it is the greatest happiness for him, and he’ll take all the burden to himself, and smile when he’s with Gracia.
This is also one reason why Hughes doesn’t share the same amount of guilt as Roy. Hughes had a reasonable vision for his future, one that motivates him to push through the war. But as for Roy, his very goal was at stake. It was ironic; he aims to protect the citizens of Amestris, but to do so, he’s killing a number of them.
Once they returned to Central, Hughes finally met with Gracia [FMAB Special Episode 04]. Roy then admits Hughes is a stronger man than he’ll ever be.
Roy looks wistfully at Hughes and Gracia hugging. "Hughes... you're strong..." He thinks to himself and gazes down at his hands. "I don't have your strength." [FMAB Special Episode 04]
With this, Roy must have felt like a fool for his naïve dream. Until Riza asks him the same question he asked Hughes [Episode 30].
Riza looks down at her trembling hands. "Soldiers are supposed to protect the people. Why are we killing them instead? Alchemy is supposed to bring people happiness. Why is it being used for murder?" [Episode 30].
Roy even says it’s terrible that Riza, too, has the eyes of a murderer. Unlike Hughes, Riza shares the same guilt as Roy, as they both share the same dream.
In the FMA Manga and in Brotherhood, there was a flashback of Roy and Riza in front of Berthold Hawkeye's grave. Roy tells Riza, "In this profession, you never know when you'll wind up dead in a ditch somewhere, like a piece of garbage. But if I can help strengthen the foundation of this country and protect its people with my hands... that would make me happy." Roy then becomes ashamed of telling her his naive dream, to which Riza dismisses by saying, "I think it's a wonderful dream." She then reveals that her father's secrets were hidden in a code that's indecipherable to the average alchemist. "That dream... can I trust you with my back so that I can help make it come true? Can I truly believe there will be a future where everyone can live happily?" [FMA Manga, Volume 15]
The weight of their dreams became heavy during the war.
When it was all over, Roy approached Riza, who was burying a grave for an Ishvalan child [Episode 54]. Riza then tells him that for her, the war will never be over. This implies she may have Post-Traumatic Stress from the war. She also felt that she was the reason why Roy had to go through all of this.
In [Episode 54], there was a flashback of Riza showing her bare back to Roy, and Riza narrates, "I'm the one who believed in you and entrusted you with my father's research. I'm also the one to enter a military academy, wishing for the well-being of the people."
She says even if the outcome wasn’t what she had in mind, she can’t escape the Truth— that it was all her doing and her choice to pull the trigger to attain their shared goal. It was the same ironic cycle Roy was in.
Riza believes the things she’s done were heavy, and that she couldn’t pay the price for it. At the very least, all she asks Roy to do is destroy the root of it all: the secrets of Flame Alchemy etched on her back.
Roy was mortified with this. No matter how much he wanted to scrap the horrors of Flame Alchemy from the world, he still hesitates as it would mean hurting a person he cares for. However, he must have understood Riza’s rhetoric, and promises he’ll grant her favor.
Given these facts, Riza seems to be exhibiting self-mutilating behavior to some degree, common to people with PTSD. However, she’s not the only one exhibiting these symptoms.
Throughout the different Media Types in FMA, it was evident that Roy also exhibits Post Traumatic Stress from the war.
In [FMA 2003 Episode 13 (Fullmetal Vs. Flame)], Roy hesitates on winning the battle against Ed as a memory flashed right before him.
In FMA: Brotherhood [EPISODE 30], Riza shares Roy’s plan after he becomes Fuhrer. She tells Ed that they will change the military government system and “make it democratic again”. But she claims that the country will only move forward if every hint of corruption is wiped out from the government, including branding the heroes during the Ishval campaign as “war criminals”.
This is further explained in the manga [VOLUME 16]. Riza tells Ed that once Roy becomes Fuhrer, they would "end up on trial for the injustices we committed in Ishval".
Ed noted that if Roy aims to be Fuhrer while knowing all this, he’s only on a path of self-destruction (or, as the English dub translates it, “Isn’t that the same as committing suicide?”)
Image Source: FMA Manga, Volume 16
However, the idea that Roy and Riza exhibit some degree of suicidal ideation should be taken with caution. There is an anomaly between the idea of getting hanged for their crimes and what Volume 15 is connoting.
In the manga [VOLUME 15], the highest-ranking priest in Ishval wanted to offer his life in exchange for the lives of thousands just to end the slaughter. But Bradley tells him that one life is still equal to one life no matter who that person is. (It makes sense, in a way, but then again they only need it for the transmutation circle).
Thus, it is uncertain whether Arakawa wants Roy and Riza to experience death by firing squad, a proper trial, or restorative justice. As such, it may depend on the way it is interpreted by the reader.
Given that they’re soldiers emotionally wounded by war, their approach to death isn’t uncommon. The gun weighs heavier for them than those who haven’t experienced war. After taking the lives of many, they acquired the guilt to continue their lives.
Nevertheless, as the story of FMA progresses, Roy and Riza’s ideas for self-destruction seem to have shifted, a change in perception, as one may call it.
After the war, Roy knows he must keep going, and reassures himself that he’ll pay the price once he’s Fuhrer. He thought he would be alone in this hefty goal until Riza approached him [EPISODE 30].
Roy asks her, his chin resting on his clasped hands, "So you decided to take this path, even after what you experienced in Ishval?" Riza affirms it and replies, "If this world is based on the concept of equivalent exchange, then we must carry corpses and cross the river of blood in exchange for the new generation to live in happiness."
Riza mentioned she decided to take this path— a river of blood, as she calls it— to pay the price for the promise of a future that will bring happiness to the next generation. If you look at it closely, it’s similar to Hughes’ motivation.
If Hughes’ and Gracia’s goal was to create their next generation in the future, Roy and Riza’s goal was to create a future for the next generation.
With her reason, Roy feels reassured that his goal isn’t only a childish dream. This is also in parallel to when he told Riza his “naive dream” back in Berthold Hawkeye’s funeral, and Riza grants him the power of Flame Alchemy. In a way, it can be said that despite everything they’ve been through in Ishval, this was still the path that they have chosen, and they need to pay the price for it. This can also be Riza’s subtle implication that their naive dream where “everyone lives in happiness” may still be fulfilled, even at the expense of their own.
Roy reciprocates Riza’s favor and gives her the right to end his life if he ever strayed away. Riza understands this and complies with being his assistant.
Riza salutes. "If you wish, I'll follow you to the depths of Hell if I have to."
With Roy scarring her tattoo, and Riza keeping him in line with his goal, they literally got each other’s backs. Riza became the reason why Roy still stays in the military. Without her, he might get demoted or killed.
But the first evidence of their slow shift away from suicidal ideation might have begun when they see the Elric brothers have committed a taboo, the human transmutation- bringing the life of another back to the world.
This was something Roy and Riza must have been tempted to think about for a long time, especially after the Ishval campaign. To bring back a single life would have lessened the burden they carry, but they both know this was just the easy way out. They both know that no matter what they do, they can’t take back any life once it was taken.
Upon seeing the transmutation circle, Roy initially became furious, pulling Ed-- a grieving child with physical disabilities— until he realized the price they paid for what they had done. He saw Al, a hollow suit of armor, move and talk [FMAB Episode 2].
After a while, Roy had tried to negotiate with the Elrics and Pinako, telling them that he is not forcing them to join the military, he is merely offering an opportunity.
Roy tells Edward, “You can choose to live your days with self-pity and a suit of armor for a brother, or you can make a real contribution to alchemy and find a way to get your bodies back.” [Volume 6]
Interestingly, Roy and Riza were simultaneously conducting this speech about choice and moving forward.
Riza told Winry that Roy was the reason why she joined the military [EPISODE 2, FMAB SPECIAL 02, FMA Manga] and that she isn’t being forced to do this. On the other side of the Rockbell house, Roy was telling Ed that he wasn’t forcing him to do anything, that the choice will always be up to him. Riza tells the same to Winry and notes that if they do choose this path, they may have to cross a river of mud.
This was similar to what Riza had told Roy, which connotes that they were imparting their experiences to Ed, Al, and Winry.
In other words, Roy and Riza are telling them not to give up on their lives, which is the easy way to rid oneself of the guilt and the punishment for what they have done. They tell them to face it head-on and live to see the day that all their pain will finally pay off.
But they both know this was easier said than done.
Side note: Later in the story, Ed tells Rose the same thing: to continue walking forward. However, when battling Scar, Ed was tempted to sacrifice himself for as long as Scar promised not to touch Al. After the battle, Al reprimands him for not running away when he can. “When there’s a way to survive and then you choose death, that’s what idiots do!”, he tells him.
With this, it is interesting how Arakawa shows that sometimes the right things to do are easier said than done, so it’s important to have someone else to remind you and guide you to the right path.
Their perception of human lives made another gradual shift after the Nina and Tucker incident [FMA MANGA, VOLUME 2]. This was rather important since Nina and Tucker bear a striking resemblance to Riza and Berthold. Although it was not observed in canon that Riza had any thoughts on the matter, but since she did admit she had an estranged relationship with her father, this event might have affected her greatly. It may be up to the reader’s interpretation of how Riza might have taken this.
As for overt reactions, Roy told Riza that all state alchemists were nothing but human weapons, doing what they want, obeying orders even if their hands get dirty. But Roy noted that Tucker’s actions weren’t so different from their own. Roy must imply that even though they were ordered to do what the military wants, they always have the choice whether or not to commit them (Like how Alex Armstrong chose to run away from the immoral orders and was demoted because of it). Because just like Tucker, who wasn’t really ordered to transmute humans into chimeras, he still chose to do it with his own volition.
Roy and Riza walk out of Central HQ, rain falling from the sky. Riza (I assume it was her) breaks the silence. "If there ever truly was 'the work of the devil', then this was it." Roy replies, "'The Devil'? To put it bluntly, all state alchemists are nothing but the military's human weapons. We do what they want, we obey orders, and we don't complain if our hands get dirty in the process. My point is that when it comes to messing with human lives, Tucker's actions aren't so different from our own." (Volume 2)
Riza then noted that that was the logic of the adults, and told him that Ed was still just a child (she must be referring to Ed’s decision to join the military).
Roy, in turn, told her that it’s still the path that he’s chosen, that this was the route he deems as most feasible when it comes to getting their bodies back. "The path he's chosen will no doubt lead to hardships greater than he faced today. He has to move forward even if it means forcing himself to understand."
For a hefty and complicated goal, Roy must mean that precautions and more hardships will get in their way, yet he still has to move forward for his goal. (This may also imply both Roy and Riza’s goal as well).
Roy tells Ed that he shouldn’t be held back by something “so small”, which implies that Roy must have seen that the death of one person means nothing over the death of hundreds.
But Ed responds by mocking Roy for considering human life as something "so small". If that was the case, Ed tells him that they’re not the dogs of the military or devils.
"We're just humans, who can’t even save the life of one little girl," Ed yells to Roy.
This must have made Roy (and perhaps, Riza) reconsider their view on the worth of a single life.
Their perception toward a single human life has reached its pivotal point when Hughes had died.
At Hughes’ grave, Roy told Riza that alchemists are despicable creatures, and a part of him wanted to figure out how to commit human transmutation. He admits that it was only until then had he understood why the Elric brothers wanted to bring their mother back (VOLUME 4 and EPISODE 10)
In verbatim, Volume 4 shows us a vulnerable Roy and Riza, both standing in front of Hughes’ grave. “What despicable creatures we are, Lieutenant,” Roy tells Riza. “Right now, there’s a part of me that’s trying to figure out the details of transmuting human beings. Now I think I understand why those kids want to bring their mother back.”
Having one’s life taken may mean relieving oneself from pain and suffering, but it also means passing the pain to those who care most for them. This must have made them rethink their ideas about living. Although they are guilty of living for themselves, they might as well offer their lives, not to death, but for those they care about.
When Roy heard gunshots and silence from the other side of the telephone line, Roy risked his life and was impulsive enough to leave his post just to ensure Riza was safe and alive [EPISODE 18-19].
On that same day, Riza broke down in tears when Lust told her she killed Roy. She knows Lust was a homunculus, yet she fired numerous gunshots at her just to expel her anger, even if it’s futile. It was also the first time we see Riza's hand tremble while raising her gun. And as liberty-flight's post says, she might have left one bullet for herself.
After the fight, Roy reprimands Riza for losing her will to fight, calling her an idiot [FMAB, EPISODE 21]. It was so casual, he even took it as an opportunity to get back at her for calling him an idiot [EPISODE 19]. He then tells her not to lose her composure if she wants to continue being his aide. And even gave her an order: do not simply accept death.
Throughout the series, Roy was seen to persistently convince Riza to live to see the end of it all. This was a rather optimistic mindset toward living. Again, since this was easier said than done, they know they have to rely on each other to remind themselves not to run away from their responsibilities and continue to keep on living.
This was seen to be effective. When Roy had told Riza to run away when things get tough, she stubbornly disproves this order. Roy hadn’t taken her loyalty seriously, as he claims “she wouldn’t be foolish enough to wait around for an entire night”. Yet upon returning from Central Headquarters, Roy was surprised to find she did not run away this time (Volume 14).
"So you didn't flee?" Roy asked her, stunned. Riza simply responds, "Who do you think it was that told me "Don't give up, no matter what?" (Volume 14)
As such, Roy and Riza became one of the reasons and reminders why they choose to stay alive.
This theme of “running away” is frequent throughout FMA.
When they realized that the Fuhrer himself is a homunculus and that the military has ulterior motives, Roy asked Armstrong if he would run away from the military and at least save himself, the same way he did back in Ishval. But Armstrong told him he was ashamed of giving up from the Ishvalan front, that he should have remained and fought against the wrongs of the military (Volume 14).
After discussing the matter with Armstrong and Hawkeye, Roy finally understood what Ed told him back then (regarding the Nina and Tucker incident).
Even though he was called a “dog of the military”, a “human weapon”, a “monster”, Roy realized that there were real monsters behind all this, real monsters that he must fight against. At that moment, he realized that he was only human, not a god, not the devil, not the names that other people told him (Similar to what Ed had told him after Nina and Tucker were killed).
"I'm called many names— human weapon, monster— but it's only when I'm fighting a real monster that I truly feel human," Roy tells to himself.
There were other points in FMA where this concept of not running away was mentioned, such as Lan Fan to Ling while they were being chased by Bradley, May Chang’s decision not to flee back to her country, Kimblee asking why Al didn’t run away even though he has the Philosopher stone in his hands, Oliver Armstrong telling Karlee to run away when things get tough, but this will be discussed on a separate analysis.
With this, Arakawa further emphasized the importance of “things are easier said than done, so it’s important to have a support system to remind us”.
The story then comes to a point where Ed was now telling Roy not to run away from life (in contrast to when they first met). In the manga [VOLUME 16], it appears that Ed has his own way of telling Roy to "stay alive", especially after hearing about Roy's plan for "self-destruction".
When Ed told him "you won't go far in life being that petty", he decided not to pay Roy back until he became the Fuhrer. And when that time comes, he'll borrow some more and will pay it back when Amestris becomes a democracy. Roy tells him, "then I've got a long life ahead of me". Then Ed also tells him "not to worry the Lieutenant."
This theme is again revisited during The Promised Day, where Riza asks Roy for any other orders. Roy simply tells them, “Do not die, that is all.” (FMA manga, Volume 23).
This order was yet again challenged when Roy was tempted to kill Envy as his revenge for Hughes. Riza believed that this wouldn’t make him a great leader in the future, as he would only be consumed with revenge. Knowing that this isn’t the right path, she does what she was told, and pulls her gun to his head. This was also the second time that her hands were shaking while holding the gun.
Roy had dared Riza to shoot him. Based on the previous discussion, Roy had no interest in living solely for his own as he is driven to live for the sake of those he cares about. So he asks her what she would do after she kills him.
Little did he know, Riza responds with the truth, one thing he knows he cannot accept. Riza, who also has no plans on living for herself, tells him she’ll take the secrets of flame alchemy down to the grave along with her body.
Roy must have remembered how he felt after Hughes had died, and he wouldn’t want Riza, his most precious subordinate, to feel that kind of pain and suffering. As such, he released his anger in a snap and told her he can’t let that happen. “I can’t afford to lose you.”
This was the major turning point of their perceptions regarding their own lives. Later on, such change in perspective (a change away from suicidal ideation) was evident when they had witnessed Envy pulling his core out of him, killing himself.
Roy has vocally expressed his disgust in this action by saying, “He took the easy way out. What a cowardly bastard.” (Episode 54)
Roy now sees self-destruction as equal to running away from life and passing one’s suffering to those who cared for him.
Every single thing they’ve learned in this journey and on their perception of what a single life means was challenged the moment it was revealed that Roy was the fifth sacrifice.
The enemies were daring Roy to commit human transmutation, something he admitted he wanted to do when Hughes died [EPISODE 58-59]. But, this time he knows that running away from life, or even trying to bring it back, is futile and pointless.
With desperate volition, their enemies had slit Riza’s throat. Roy exhibits great distress over this, and @ borkthemork’s post has pointed out that there was a single teardrop at the corner of his eye. It's a parallelism to Riza breaking down in front of Lust.
But instead of yielding to death, Riza tells their enemies that she “wouldn’t die”, for she is “under strict orders not to die.” As discussed, it was Roy who ordered his subordinates not to die. Unlike the past events and in Episode 19, she has not given up her will this time. It’s because she has a reason to live, not necessarily for herself, but to those who care for her, and for the things she can do to make a future for the next generation.
Again, Arakawa is stressing the fact that the right things are easier said than done, but with the help and support from those whom one trusts, one can be guided to take a step to the right path.
Roy himself has mentioned this realization/lesson/insight. He admitted he’d commit human transmutation. But now, “luckily I have people by my side now who will stop me from being reckless, and keep me headed down the right path."
In conclusion, Roy and Riza were seen to lean on each other not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. They’ve dealt with the psychological burden of their crimes in a mature manner, always seeking better ways to improve the country. They might not be doing it solely to compensate for their guilt, because they know that they never can. Ending their lives would never be equal to the thousands of lives they have taken during the Ishval campaign. (Again, the same concept was raised in the manga [VOLUME 15], where Bradley tells the high-priest of Ishval that his life is still equal to one life, no matter what his status is).
As such, Roy and Riza would aim to reach for the top of the system and try to make a better future for the generations to come, even if it’s at the expense of their own happiness. For as long as they are alive and kicking, they try their best to avoid the same thing from happening again.
- END OF ANALYSIS -
Thank you for reaching the end of this lengthy analysis! September 10th is also my birthday, so World Suicide Prevention Day means a lot to me.
Should you wish to talk and connect, feel free to send an ask!
You can see more of my works on:
@hanamuri (fma blog, writing blog, personal blog)
@fullmetalanalyst (fma analysis blog)
@hawkeyebullets (fma shtpost)
265 notes
·
View notes