Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

no multi option, agonize and choose, no results option, pick one to find out or scroll onward

celebrating our favorite blue boy's return to the table!

Every time I’ve seen some entitled guy on Twitter this morning complain “maybe you should check in on what your FANS want” or say “glad to see the death of CR in real time, you’re shitting on your fans!” I grow more happy with CR for daring to be bold and do something unexpected and hope they are more quietly hostile to those fans and their entitlement, tbh.

HE IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKK

celebrating our favorite blue boy's return to the table!

The dice understand what's important: that Dorian never gets a hold on an ounce of dignity, not even once 😌

So no happy Magneto?

at least he’s alive i guess 😭

humbly making my contribution to the dorian wearing the dorian shirt pile!!!!

This is why I love robbie Daymond. That Man’s a national treasure.

One of my absolute favorite CR moments ever is still in ExU when Ashley and Aabria were trying to figure out why Fearne had disadvantage on stealth rolls and Robbie Daymond, playing his first ever game of D&D, looked at them in absolute disbelief and said "because you're a six foot tall goat lady?????"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM CRITICAL ROLE

+ MATT:

HOT BOY

play us a tune, blue boy!!! 🎻💙

Cowboy fjord has my heart

My impressions of the chroma conclave, love these dragons. Some of the best I have seen in any media.

And then there’s Brimscythe! He’s dead.

a collection of CR memes - pt. 1

MAKE HIM SEXY

it’s very important to me that fjord is stupid hot. 20 charisma at level 4 hot. because he has No Fucking Clue the true extent of it. in fjord’s mind he’s like “yeah. I’ve gotten good at projecting an image. I can get people to like me or better yet, fear me. I’m good at this.” But what he doesn’t realize is that most people in a 60 foot radius want to sexually obliterate him. Fjord in a Trader Joe’s silently sweating over whether or not which bunch of bananas is the perfect level of underripe oblivious to the fact that he’s coming across as Sexy and Contemplative to everyone else while jester is standing by the cart and smugly preening because he’s HER hot anxiety ridden hunk

Blep 😛

Quick coloring warm-up of the grubby magic man and his emotional support familiar 💖 

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