I have a feeling I’m slowly feeling better…

FAREWELL TO A FRIENDSHIP

Today I realize my best friend is no longer my best friend. I guess that I already knew that things weren´t like they used to be, but it still hurts the fact that she is no longer my bestie. The worst part is that she is already doing the things we used to do together with another person, and now she confides with that person too. Part of me is telling me I´m being dramatic, another part is blaming me because I could not take care of our friendship, and the other part just wants to accept it and move on. There are just too many emotions that are painful especially when you think about the good memories. Well, I guess this is what you call a friendship breakup... but damn it is just so gut-wrenching. Any advice?

“It’s strange.”

Kid Krow + Favourite lyrics 

OVERTHINKING

Today my mind has been running wild, it´s like it doesn´t has a pause button. All I been doing since I woke up is think, think, think and guess what… think. I been worrying about the most stupid and insignificant stuff. I know that I should not, but I concluded that is something that I do naturally. Maybe this is the only thing I am good at.

The thing that been bugging me the most is my future. What am I supposed to do now? It has been a year since a graduated from high school and I still do not have clue of what I want to do with my life. I am lost with no purpose. It seems like everyone around me has gotten their shit together and just stuck. I am pathetic. How is it that for others finding their passion and life purpose is so easy? I really wish there was a pause button, so I could breathe and figure my shit out.

Anyways, no one asked but to pretend that I´m not leaving in constant pain, I have been watching anime for the last three weeks. I think it became an addiction, SEND HELP. I have watched by now like ten different animes and there are more waiting to be watch, because guess what… I have a list. This bitch needs a distraction to run away from her problems. When I watched them, I just pretend I´m one of the characters and that I have their lives, I know… my life is sad, but it is what it is.

That is all for today log of my overthinking pathetic and depressing life. I still have hope that everything will get better though.

Just letting out..

So... I´m going to start a blog or whatever this is...maybe  it can help me or maybe I can get to meet new people. There is a rumor that internet friends exist, can I have them?

I guess im feeling kinda lonely lately, I feel like i messed up every real relationship i once had. I´m such a burden to deal with, i feel no matter what I do I will never understand how frienships work. I am lost with no purpose in life, and just going day by day cause... well I´m scared of making something drastic. 

This is just an small thought in my head, maybe if I put it out there it will leave my head. Any advice...