Poison

I thought I needed you like I needed air, I thought you were the food I needed to survive. I remember thinking that the moment you were gone the air would thin. Everyday that passed I felt weakened by the time we spent apart. One day I finally gathered the strength I needed to leave you behind, that day I discovered that I was fine. I discovered that you were the poison

#workinprogress #shortstories #writingismyfreedom

My Double Life - How It All Started (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/yww1rJMpUbb Tessa has a secret that makes her feel paranoid, torn between her life of luxury and her simple life. T

My Double Life - How It All Started (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/yww1rJMpUbb Tessa has a secret that makes her feel paranoid, torn between her life of luxury and her simple life. T

#spoileralert #supernatural

1. The writers are idiots. If the actor playing Dean couldn't kiss a man why not change Castiels vessel... Angels have no gender.

2. I want to believe that Castiel took the form of the impala to be with Dean for eternity. The only way dean would admire and caress him.

3. It's funny that the boys said no one was writing their story because they "had predicted their end". Sonce everything from the pass was Chucks doing word for word then it means that at the end Chuck won.

4. To be screwed (pun intended) the way we were is just straight up disrespect.

Do You Remember?https://citlalisanchez.com/do-you-remember/¿Te Acuerdas?https://citlalisanchez.com/te-acuerdas/

"I'll be waiting, take your time, happy or not I will go with you when my time comes." He let out a sigh and in smoke he went, I no longer felt his presence, I lost my faithful friend. I have the hope that when he comes to collect me he will be happy to take my soul to rest.

http://citlalisanchez.com/death-came-to-visit/

New Project coming to citlalisanchez.com

My Double Life MARCH 16, 2020 My father thinks I am a good daughter I work 7 days a week 2 jobs and I go to school full time, I been doing this for the past 10 years I am so close to getting a Ph.D. and he loves telling the neighbors about it. I cannot tell you how this started and how this got so out of hand I can no longer control it. It started as a devious act, the kind of activity you do when you are young and reckless. I never expected this to turn into a lifestyle. By: Citlali Sanchez  Visit http://citlalisanchez.com/my-double-life/   for the full story.

Why write?

Writing has always helped me cope with anxiety and the world around me. If every mind is a world I want my world to be explored through writing.

My website where most of my writing can be found.

The Night I Met A Stranger.

I had decided to make my way to the beautiful city. It was a breezy summer night and the night was young. I felt something in the air, a type of happy uncertainty that I could not explain. Being young and naïve I decided to ignore that feeling. “a new acquaintance will turn your world upside down” Obviously Panda Express had no idea how awkward I was with new people. My fortune cookie I had open before boarding was obviously wrong. I got off the train evading direct eye contact with anyone in my path, you see once you make eye contact with someone, you run the risk of striking a conversation. I must admit I am the worst conversationalist and for that same reason, I evade people. As I walked the stairs that led to the main entrance with no real direction, just taking in the peace that the city always gave me, I realized how happy I was alone. I am an insomniac and walking around the city always made me feel less alone and at peace it made me realize that I was not the only person that struggled to go to bed at night. “Excuse me, do you have a lighter,” said a voice from behind me. “I-I am not a smoker sorry,” replied quickly as I sped away from the young lady with the revealing clothing. It made me wonder if she was cold I was wearing a cardigan and I might as well have walked out of my house on a bathing suit on a cold fall night. I guess I just feel the weather differently, “maybe she likes dancing, you have to wear light clothing if you are going dancing” I thought to myself as I let out a personal giggled. I had to look up to locate where I was standing, my inner thoughts had gotten me disoriented. “Oh, see that is what I call a smile,” said the man that I had almost bumped into while I was having a mental conversation with myself. I looked up staring straight into his green eyes, I was mesmerized by his perfect features. I didn’t know how to react, I tried apologizing but my vocal cords had forgotten how to emit sound. In all fairness, if you had seen the perfection of that man’s face you would have forgotten how to speak too. “Um, I-I was-wasn’t paying attention, sorry,” I stuttered as I let out a poor excuse of an apology. I was shaking I could not look away from his face, his look was piercing, dominant one of those looks that makes you weak, and warm and fuzzy all at once. once I was able to look away from him it felt like a year had passed. Like I had stood like a statue, motionless and expressionless for a full year. “Don’t worry, I would not mind getting run over by such a pretty smile,” he said as he flashed the most charismatic, and breathtaking smile I have seen in my entire life. I pulled my self together and waved goodbye as I sped away from him. My thoughts were hunting me, I was 100% sure I had experienced love at first sight. I knew I would never see him again, I was fighting everything within me not to run behind him. How can you see perfection and walk away so easily.” seriously, pull yourself together” I muttered to myself. “Come again?” said a familiar voice from behind me. Could I have been so lost in my thoughts that I had lost brain function? Did I come across someone I knew without realizing, that would be a new one for my book of awkward times. “Whose voice is that,” I thought to myself as I turned around. “David,” He said as he stretched out his hand introducing himself. My knees nearly gave, I instantly started sweating, I could feel my heart beating hard. “Linda” I replied extending my hand to him. “You Know… I said to my self. David, if you do not go back and find out if that beautiful woman has a boyfriend you will not sleep tonight” He said enthusiastically. ” I mean I didn’t want to sleep but, I think I might have founded hard to sleep for the rest of my life” he added. “Huh, I was thinking almost the same thing,” I blurted out, unable to stop my self. When he heard that he gave me a smile that almost made me fall to my knees. I was as embarrassed as I was proud of myself, I am not one to make such a bold move. I was always taught to be cautious especially if it was a handsome guy, but somehow my brain had forgotten all its training if I was going to die that night it was at least going to be a “beautiful” death. There are times in life when you know you have to take advantage of an opportunity, for me that was one of those moments. It was a moment where I had to be bold, outgoing, not me. “Can I walk with you?” He asked. I guess he must have seen something in my eyes because his next words made me truly fall in love with this stranger, at least for that night. “Let’s make a deal, you can call anyone you trust and send them your location, I will go wait over there so you can put your phone somewhere safe and accessible to you.” He said with a calm and patient look. “I have sisters too” he added. “I guess that is an arrangement I can agree to,” I said smiling, what I thought was a cute smile but I am sure I looked creepy. This man was the whole package, how could he see a woman struggle to trust and instead of being offended like most men, he offered peace of mind. We walked and talked as I lost all sense of time and self-existence, I knew it was reckless of me to be so familiar and open with a stranger, yet it felt so right. He was a gentleman, the kind that opens your door and waits patiently for you to walk in. The kind that shares his Mcdonald’s fries. The kind that takes off his jacket to make sure you are warm enough. As the night got heavier and heavier our spirits got lighter and lighter. I had found my soul mate, he was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was the kind of man you wait for your whole life. We sat by the lakeshore and stared at the water for a long time. Somehow, time felt different, it did not feel long like when you are waiting in line to get your food and you have been starving for two hours. The time with him felt long, like when you adventurously go zip lining and the line feels long but freeing, the kind of long that you wish never ends. “Do you know how to swim?” he asked softly I know what you are possibly thinking, That is how you get killed and discarded at the same time. I guess my face may have shown that same thought and he must have seen my hesitation because he changed the subject before he could even get an answer. I looked up to the sky avoiding eye contact, I knew I had fallen too deep too soon for a person I knew nothing about. I didn’t even know if David was his real name, or if he was even real. He could have been a dream for all I know, it was then that I realized that the sun was coming up. “What time Is it?” I asked confused. “5:30 am” He replied, with his captivating smile. “Oh I got to go, I completely lost track of time,” I said as I handed him his jacket back. We walked in a silence that could be heard from miles. It was like you could hear our thoughts, we both knew this was the end. We both knew that our encounter would be just that, we knew that our night would be gone and our lives would go back to normal leaving a void for both of us. “Well, Cinderella, Till we meet again,” He said as he leaned in to kiss me. I was shocked, I did not expect it, I could not fight it back either. Even though I did not expect to end our night like that, I wanted with all my heart to be kissed by him. When there is chemistry and you have gotten to know the person you know it will happen, but I had just met this man. I wasn’t sure I had made that kind of impression but I wanted to taste his kiss for the first and last time. “Till, We meet again,” I said in a whisper as I boarded my train. “Wow, I thought to myself, did I just spend the night walking around the city with a stranger.” It was then that I realized that I would never see this man again and that all that would be left would be that memory of the most magical night of my life. It would be like a ghost memory one of those from a past life that you do not fully understand why you have it. I knew I would live hunted by that smile and his piercing eyes. I never gave him my number and he never gave me his, I didn’t even think about it, he just felt so familiar. Even though we did not have intimacy, he would forever be my purest love, my most loved person. He would be my favorite memory that I would treasure and jealously keep. The memory I would never share with anyone, the memory of the night I met a stranger Updates: citlalisanchez.com

I just want to walk away!

I just want to walk away and forget about this place.

I just want to live a different life and give up on the fantasy of perfection.

I want to live a simple life where "simple" is not a bad thing.

I just want to hold you tight and never let you leave.

I want to be the one who decides how ,when and where.

I want to be able to kiss you every single day.

I want to be able to feel your strong arms around my waist, whispering a sweet "I love you" untild my last day.

But all you said was... "good bye, until we meet again."

I'm in denial

I'm in denial... of the fact that I am lost and I don't know if I'm coming or if I'm going. I'm in denial of the fact that i am cold and scare like a puppy who lost its home... I'm in denial of the void inside my heart that I can't seem to fill... I'm in denial of my flesh and its needs... I'm in denial of the fact that I will never be whole because they left me broken, abandoned, and with out worth... I'm in denial of the fact that my life has been dictated by my demons and my demons demons... I'm in denial of my self and feelings and the fact that I dream of you once in a while, but I think of you every single day... I'm in denial of my sin and my recklessness, that have made me an easy target... I'm in denial of the fact that I feel more that I show and show less than I feel. I'm in denial because I have always been taught that nothing good comes out of feelings and love and hope. I'm in denial because my life has been one regret after another, heart break after heart break, failure after failure. I'm in denial that my existance matters very little to me and that if tomorrow I was to fall prisoner of my thoughts for ever I would not notice it. I'm in denial that its not my fault because I still blame myself every day for all the bad that has happened. I'm in denial because it's easier to suppress my demons than to face them.

Advice Taken

There was a time when I was really bad at taking advice. I can’t say that I am the best at it now but it has definitely gotten better.

I had some serious parental issues growing up but I still made a good person out of myself. My mother was not bad really, she was just a single mother and that pushed her to make many mistakes.

My father was like Santa, I claimed his existence but no one had ever seen him.

Any way that is not where I was going with this. I became very stubborn and “me against the world” type of person. The problem with that attitude is that you tend to push people away even when you do not want to. I decided to live in a bubble and my bubble was too big yet too small. I became a liability at pretty much everything, mainly because according to me I knew everything.

I lost a lot I want to believe that it was because that just how life is, but truly I know it was my lack of understanding to others. I know it sounds like someone babbling and saying nonsense but trust me I am trying to warm up to what I am trying to get across.

If I had listen to the advice given to me I would not have found myself in the situations that I did at some points in my life. I am sure that a lot of advice that I took for granted would have helped me navigate my early adulthood years better.

“Don’t play with fire you will get burn”

That one was the one that backfired (pun intended) the most...

See the problem with playing with fire is not the burning is the scaring afterwords. But mighty me was invincible and there was no way for me to get hurt...WRONG!!!!

Where I’m going with this is... never take good advice for granted. Yes you will have the time to fully experience the world but there is a time for everything (not really my case), just follow your own clock.

If you wait you will safe yourself a lot of pain and suffering, a lot of regret, but most importantly you will never be chasing your lost time. The number one regret I hear from people is “I wish I could go back in time and change this.” Live your life as if your last hours were approaching and yes I know is an over use advice but everyday should be lived in a meaningful way. Never take a minute of your life in vain you might be enjoying your last senses and you want to enjoy them to the fullest.

If you made it through the end I thank you for it!