formerlysylvieplath-blog - Tumblr blog

formerlysylvieplath-blog · 12 years

Text

i’ve been thinking about this on and off all summer and even a bit before that. actually, to be honest, i’ve been thinking about it for the past two years.

10 notes · View notes

formerlysylvieplath-blog · 12 years

Text

it's also broken apart a lot of my friendships for various reasons that i won't get into.

i use things online as a crutch. i don't write, i rarely exercise, and i'm afraid to go out and try to make friends or engage in other pursuits. i'm twenty-six years old and my best friends are two rats.

i need to change some things.

so! i'm shifting my focus. i will no longer be on tumblr. i'm leaving my blog up because i have loved being on here at times and hey, it's my blog, so. but i won't be on at all anymore.

i'm going to be roleplaying on one site because i made commitments there and don't want to punish other people through my decisions. other than that, i'm done.

i'll be writing fanfic very occasionally. again, i've already started working on something and don't want to stop before finishing it like i've done too many times before. so if you enjoy my writing, you can find me at a03 as copperboom.

i'm also going to be starting a blog to catalogue my attempts to try new things, to become more healthy, to create a positive future for myself, and to improve my relationship with myself as well as other people. i don't have a name or link for it yet but if you'd like to have it when it's ready, email be at [email protected] and i'll make it available to you.

further, i won't be on msn as mercybeaucoup anymore. this is to give myself and others a chance to be friends with me only if they really want to and not because they feel obligated since they're friends with my friends or we roleplayed together or because we've been friends for a while but they've always found me annoying and don't know how to break it off or WHATEVER the reason might be. i understand all those things. xD i've met me. so if you do want to talk occasionally, i'll be on msn as [email protected]. anyone is welcome to add me but i won't be upset and will understand if you don't. and let me note i'm not adding anyone myself not because i don't love you but because i want it to be your choice.

i really appreciate everyone that's been supportive of me. i think there's been more there than i've realized. but clinical depression and my own inclination toward introversion have clouded that and it's not fair to those who have always been amazing. that's why i want to change my life. xD i know there are things that are going to be hard, always, but i have to quit being the hardest thing in my life. and i have to start by making decisions that are positive for me.

to many people who have recently followed me -- i think due to the fanmixes? -- i appreciate it and i hope you understand.

to one person in particular, i'm sorry, because i feel that i've made your life much more difficult recently than is necessary. you've always been a positive support and i appreciate that so much. whatever choice you make from here on out, i understand and won't be upset with you for. please believe when i say i only want good things for you and if i'm an added stress i fully understand removing me from your life.

my true end goal is to have a week where i am not emotionally traumatized by life. largely due to my own fault. that's all i'm trying to achieve here. not judge or insult anyone for taking paths that are different than mine.

so that's it! thank you for giving me an outlet for everything for a year and a half now. it's been better, i'm sure, than i'm currently able to see. <3

#wow #i know this is right because i feel the greatest sense of relief #and signing out now

10 notes · View notes

formerlysylvieplath-blog · 12 years

Photo