march 29th, 2022

“She was the last cowboy, all romance and failure. The world was changing, and her kind didn’t have anywhere to go. Being a beacon of hope for lesser people is a lonely business.”

Mistress America (2015) dir. Noah Baumbach

Written by Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach

Short, funny and sweet but with an underlying pain that lingers throughout the movie, because I can feel everything they’re saying in my bones; because I have had the same thoughts they had, and in a way I felt like I was the only one who ever felt like that. It’s strange, but it’s a relief: to see that you are not as isolated as you think, that other people are going through what you are going through, and yet they’re not - at all. I keep hoping that someday I will see on the screen a character so similar to me and yet so much better, who is going to share their secrets with me, so that I too can be like them. This is never going to happen of course: movies are not real life, and as much as I still hope to, I will never find the key to my life in movies. What I can get from them however, is the solace that maybe someday I can make something that will offer people the same feelings movies offer me - strange feelings, of seeing oneself in every lonely character, and every existential sentence, and every awkward piece of dialogue. A line in a movie means so much more to me when I’m not really able to explain it, but I feel it in my whole body, as some kind of tremor passing through my bones. I like it when a line feels like a prophecy for something I haven’t experienced yet.

[ resuscitating this blog after almost exactly one year after my last post because i miss the same period of time i once wished would pass swiftly, and maybe this is a way to reminisce, and also i’d like to go back to writing, the only way i know how - from the heart ]

april 3rd, 2021

"The other afternoon, when you fell asleep on my shoulders, I drifted off, too. But before I did, it occurred to me looking around at all of your things and your work and going through years of work in my mind, that of all your work, you are still your most beautiful. The most beautiful work of all."

Just Kids by Patti Smith

reading this book made me realize how badly i wanna go to new york. the way it is described, both as heaven as hell; it's magical. it's a place where beautiful things can happen: two kids can meet and start their life together, looking for purpose, for meaning, and for art, first of all. it may not be always easy, and it may not always end well, but it is still worth it. this is what i gathered from this book: life is hard, always, so we must do our best to find people who can make it bearable.

march 27th, 2021

My mom died, I went to live with my dad and it's impossible to worry about anything else when there's blood coming out of you.

Short Term 12 (2013) dir. Destin Daniel Cretton

before watching it i really had no idea what the plot was but i was drawn to it nonetheless. i really liked this, it's full of love, heart, tenderness, there's a lot of pain too of course, and i think that's why you can really feel the love pouring out of the screen. i saw a bit of myself in all these characters: all they wanted to be loved, to be safe. it's what we all want after all, but saying it out loud it's hard: asking for something can be harder that never having something at all. it's something i too struggle with, saying out loud what goes on through my head, because i'm not sure if anyone could understand me, and even if they did, what could they do about it? this film has an incredible cast (brie larson, lakeith stanfield, kaitlyn dever) and i really think it deserves much more recognition.

march 26th, 2021

“Well, it can't all be sorrow, can it? I've always been alone, so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known, I've never experienced loss because I have never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?”

WandaVision (2021)

it's been a while, but school's kicking my ass. anyway, today i wanna talk about this great show! i watched the mcu films only recently so i am new to this, and i didn't have many expectations about this show, and when everybody, literally everybody talked about how good it was, i was curious, and well, it did not disappoint. (elizabeth olsen was amazing and kat dennings, reprising her thor role, stole every scene. and also teyonah parris! kathryn hahn!) with every episode it became more and more interesting to see the dinamics of this world and i was really moved at the end. saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do, and wanda knows it well. she just wanted to hold on a little longer, to seek refuge in this utopian, idyllic town, even though she took other people with her. at the end, when everything returns to normal, she is left with only herself, and her pain and grief. but she is also stronger: with all that loss, she gained something. i can't wait to see her again in doctor strange 2.

march 16th, 2021

"Please, picture me in the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted"

Folklore - Taylor Swift (2020)

i keep coming back to this album every few months, now specifically after its album of the year win at the grammys. i think it's well deserved; i still remember when it was announced, a day before its release; i was so happy: i was wasn't having the best of summers and this gave me something to look forward to, to enjoy, despite everything else. it was different from what i had expected, and i think that was one of the reasons i liked it, and stil like it very much. i tend to like taylor albums that kinda move away from what everyone's expectations (like reputation, for example), because whatever she does, it always works. you may not like her as a person, even though that's dumb, but nobody can deny it: she's good. this album is a collection of hushed, acoustic, intimate songs that make up a clear picture, and most of all that tell vivid stories of forbidden love, young romances, nostalgic memories. my favorites form this album vary often, but cardigan, seven, august and mirrorball are always on the list.

march 15th, 2021

"That's just teenage talk I don't think the past is better, better Just cause it's cased in glass Protecting us from our now and later"

Teenage Talk - St Vincent

today i wanna talk about a song i have been listening to recently and that, as most of the things i post on here, brings me much joy. teenage talk by st vincent (annie clark) is a beautiful, nostalgic song about, you guessed it, teenage years. some people say those are the best years of your life, when you can make mistakes without having to deal with real, adult consequences. that is true in a way, but i think that there is a certain pressure in that, a weight of having to live the best time of your life before life gets hard, but if you don't really take advantage of these years, does that mean that you missed yor mark? this song captures a specific feeling, a kind of freedom that i didn't really experience, but i can still picture it: it's like a candid picture, like the song's cover. the song ends with a question: "how do you see me now, now that i'm a little bit older?"; to me it could be referred to some old friend, but also to the old version of yourself. how do you see me after all these years? am i the way you dreamt of? have i changed that much? those are questions i would like to ask my old self, but i'm not really sure i would like to hear the answers.

march 15th, 2021

"One of the things I love most about this life is that there’s no final goodbye. You know, I’ve met hundreds of people out here, and I don’t ever say a final goodbye. I always just say, “I’ll see you down the road.” And I do. And whether it’s a month, or a year, or sometimes years, I see them again."

Nomadland (2020) dir. Chloé Zhao

with the oscars nominations coming out later, i wanted to talk a little about one of my favorite films from last year. i don't think a statuette determines the value of a film, but i also hope this beautiful film gets the praise it deserves. before watching it i didn't really know what to expect: a topic like this is not often treated in films, and, when it is, it's never in a positive light. nomadland, adapted from the screen, directed and edited by chloé zhao, is a poignant, refreshing portrait of people who, despite what life put on their way, managed to come out the other way without losing their spark, their will, their life. nomad sounds like another word for lonely, but in nomadland that is not the case, because these people are not lonely, they are family. they help each other, becuase that is what family does. they might not stay in the same place, but eventually they will always find their family, down the road.

march 14th, 2021

"Sometimes it's good to do what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it."

Frances Ha (2012) dir. Noah Baumbach

this film brings me comfort every time i watch it, i guess because i see myself in frances, despite living a very different life from her. i think it's about feelings, as most things are: the feeling of not knowing what to do with your life, the feeling of watching everyone lead their life as if they have got everything figured out. these are feelings i know very well, and watching frances deal with all these painful yet necessary steps in her life makes me feel a little better about what is yet to come in my own life.

march 13th, 2021

"When was it I realized that, on this truly dark and solitary path we all walk, the only way we can light is our own? Although I was raised with love, I was always lonely."

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto

i finished reading this book just a few days ago and i can't take it off my mind. from the first few pages it captured me with its tender writing, and the whole time reading it i was overwhelmed by this feeling of care and love, unlike any other. through mikage's eyes we witness her grieving, but also her attempts to move on, although it's not at all easy. the only flaw this book has is its lenght: i found myself wanting to know more, to stay for a little more in mikage's life, but i wouldn''t change anything about it.

i highly recommend reading it, it's become instantly one of my favorite books of all time

march 13th, 2021

"I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away."

Before Sunrise (1995) dir. Richard Linklater i think the before trilogy is so beloved because it doesn't do too much: it doesn't need an intricate plot or numerous characters to work; all it needs is celine and jesse and beautiful european cities. their intimate moments, their stolen glances, their brand-new feelings... those are the things that stand out the most, that make you root for them. the first time i watched it was during the first days of march 2020, when i had suddenly gained some free time because of a certain virus... instantly i felt connected to the characters, desperatly daydreaming about an experience like that, a once-in-a-lifetime connection that glued these two people after years and years. when i rewatched after a few months, after the covid situation rapidly worsened, these films gave me a chance to lose myself in them, and i got to love them even more. this is my first entry on this blog, follow for more <3