fierysword
reborn in the fire
Ellie ⚖️ Mid-20s 🐂 Embracing God as both a Mother and Father through the lens of Christian mysticism 🕊️ Pro-LG[B]T 💖 Universalist ✝️ Creation spirituality 🌎 Low block threshold 🔥 Proverbs 4:6
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Orions Belt Region in Gas and Dust
Credits: Matt Harbison, Space4Everybody
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My new avatar is an AI-generated depiction of Minne (Love), a female depiction of God described by medieval Christian mystic Hadewijch. (I think it was generated with Pixlr? Not sure)
Source: Goddesses and the Divine Feminine: A Western Religious History by Rosemary Ruether
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I struggled a lot with religiously motivated moral ocd earlier this year and 1. received so much support from ppl on this website that I would love to send your way if you are interested + 2. have my own advice on what helped me, if you are interested.
But I also imagine you might receive a lot of advice from a lot of people and perhaps some of it might not be requested, so no worries if you aren't interested. At least, please know that I feel for you and I will be praying for you to receive comfort and good honest help in this flare-up.
I would love to receive advice! Please send it my way ❤️
Thanks so much for your support!
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I found a group called Obsessive Compulsive Anonymous and the steps include making a moral inventory of yourself, admitting wrongdoings, making a list of everyone we've harmed, and continuing to take personal inventory
😭😭😭 yeah I pretty much already did that (except it was more like constant mental cycling instead of making a list) and it sent me spiraling into severe depression
and "continuing to take personal inventory" for my OCD has been to walk on eggshells and question even minor and harmless things
#and some of the wrongdoings weren't actually wrongdoings#and the ones that were wrongdoings apparently don't make me irredeemable and undeserving of happiness like my OCD was telling me#either way it would be extremely triggering to focus on my wrongdoings again#gonna assume these folks aren't familiar with moral OCD#idk maybe it could work for some people#it was just a surprise seeing an OCD support group suggesting I do what my OCD was telling me to do#moral OCD#depression#scrupulosity#real event ocd#ocd
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moral ocd talk below. I know that sometimes reading about other people's OCD gives my OCD ideas, so putting this under "read more" in case anyone else has that problem
my OCD deadass had me asking ChatGPT if it was deceptive and immoral to tell an acquaintance "I hope you're having a good Thursday" if I wasn't actively hoping for that and was trying to be nice/polite
so tired of walking on eggshells
#for the first few weeks of this flareup I was severely depressed and hated myself and felt I didn't deserve happiness#now it's switched from that to ''you can be a good person but let's try to be 100% perfect''#an improvement I guess???#still very anxiety-provoking and guilt-inducing#moral ocd#ocd
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“Telekinesis... thought to be the ability to move... or to cause changes... in objects... by force of the mind...?”
Carrie (1976)
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“Carrie had some sort of power. But she was just like me... like any of you. She had hopes, she had fears, but we pushed her. And you can only push someone so far before they break.”
Carrie (2013)
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need a support group for people with religious or moral OCD who have had to distance themselves from their religious or spiritual journey due to their mental health
it’s really hard to grapple with something already as complex as religion, but having a brain that really can’t cope with it… it’s hard! it’s a battle! and I really hope any religious people with religious OCD are able to find ways to safely reconnect with their faith
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Just a heads up for my followers, I'm going to be stepping back from religious content for a while. I've been having a severe OCD flareup for the past few weeks and religion has historically been one of my triggers, so outside my personal practice I'll be treading very carefully with religious topics until my mental health is stabilized.
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