embarrassedanon
Embarrassed Anon
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Sam Smith suffers embarrassing wardrobe malfunction while performing on stage.
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Despite the promise of sun, sand, and girls, Billy found himself facing a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions. In a rush to leave, he forgot about packing underwear, combined with his beefed-up ass from hours spent in the college gym resulted in snug-fitting shorts that left little to the imagination. As he strutted along the beach by day and hit the clubs at night, Billy remained oblivious to the fact that each day the different shorts he'd packed had succumbed to the strain, with the seams splitting open to reveal his asshole. The embarrassing revelation came courtesy of amused college students who couldn't help but take pictures, slap his ass and point out the hole wherever Billy went. Desperate to salvage what remained of his dignity, Billy resorted to using his shirt to conceal the blown-out seams, leaving his chest exposed for the duration of the trip. An exposed chest was a small price to pay to avoid the humiliation of a bare butt on display for all to see.
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'til death parts the cheeks
In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea to hire a raunchy hypnotist for the bachelor party weekend. The boys got to see their buddies act a fool and perform sexy strip teases for one another and no one had anything to answer to for to their wives the next morning.
Of course, they would have been much safer off if one person had not been hypnotized and could have prevented the hypnotist from providing his own gift to the wedding guests.
As the officiant said "you may now kiss the bride," the trigger phrase sent the men at the altar into a stupor. The jilted bride stood their stunned as rather than leaning in for a kiss, her groom bent at the waist and dropped trou. He was followed in quick succession by all the groomsmen.
Under their tuxedos they all had don jockstraps, a nice touch from the hypnotist. They were quick to start swinging their hips around, dropping it low, smacking their asses, even bouncing and opening their cheeks.
The bride and her bridesmaids were quickly trying to shield their men, but it was no use, the audience was in hysterics. Their thunderous laughter was enough to shake the guys from their trance. They groggily came to and frantically attempted to preserve their dignity, tripping over their pants around their ankles.
"Oh my god this is so embarrassing!"
"Everyone is looking at my butt, stop it!"
"I wish I could I just disappear!"
On this wedding day, it wasn't the bride who was blushing.
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The Model Patient
Eddie's friend Tony assured him that being a model patient was an easy and painless way to make a few extra bucks on the weekend.
Tony had been given an index card with of symptoms to memorize and assigned a handful of medical students who clamored to be first to diagnose him. Sounded easy enough.
When Eddie pulled up to the medical school that Saturday morning and saw his index card his heart sank. The card's directive was simple yet humiliating.
patient seeks treatment for persistent painful rash on gluteal epidermis
Surely this was some sort of joke Eddie thought. Tony only had to pretend to have the flu, but he had some crazy butt rash. He was going to have to spend the whole talking about a butt rash with these medical students...
Before he could contemplate any further, the director of the model patient program barged into the room looking down at his clipboard.
"What are you doing still dressed?" the disheveled director said barely even looking up at Eddie. "Come on, strip down completely and put on the gown."
"Completely? No one said anything about being naked."
"The students need to grow accustom interacting patients as they'll actually be in real life. If you're going to be a problem can you just go, I've got like a million things to do."
As quick as he arrived the director was gone and Eddie found himself standing in the cold room in nothing but a paper thin gown.
The next 90 minutes were perhaps some of the most embarrassing of Eddie's young life. A revolving door of young, bookish, nerdy, wannabe dermatologists, the types of guys Eddie teased in school came and poked and prodded his exposed backside.
The line between fact and fiction quickly blurred as the simple index card diagnosis gave Eddie no answers for the med students exhaustive questions about his condition.
Not much of an improviser, Eddie was answering honestly engaging with questions about how sweaty his butt got, his habits of shaving his butt cheeks, and what type of underwear he wore. These doctors were intent on finding the cause of his phantom rash.
The invasive questions were nothing compared to the physical exams. Latex gloves did little to insulate cold hands. The students massaged, squeezed, and in one case even parted his cheeks, hoping to get full points for successfully completing a thorough exam. The embarrassment was physically painful for Eddie.
Worse were the students attempting to make him feel comfortable and break the ice. He cringed and broke out into a full body blush as he heard "well I don't have to ask about your exercise habits, it's clear your squatting?" or "No wonder you came in to see about this rash, it's totally cramping your style as you show off that thing."
When the final student finished up, Eddie quickly got dressed, anxious to get home and shower off the embarrassment of the whole ordeal. He entered the lobby where all the students were gather comparing notes from their respective exams. They all looked up at him and sheepishly smiled.
The way they looked at him made him totally naked again. He collected his envelope of cash, feeling cheap and used. He headed to the exit, the future doctors lingering stares on his ass felt hot enough to burn through the seat of his pants. Unbeknownst to Eddie the stress of this ordeal was already forming the faintest hives, exactly where he least wanted them.
It wouldn't be long before his cheeks were getting examined for real.
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Usually when a man is hunched over a laptop and you hear the phrase "I'm in" some hacking has taken place, not in this instance though.
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And I thought they had done away with the draft...
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Thanks @ultram0th! My buddy Jason is over the moon with his new caboose.
my buddy has such a flat butt, he can’t keep his pants. it’s really embarrassing for him. do you think you could help him out?
Oh, poor guy. Let’s see what we can do. Go ahead and put this in his drink, and it should help him out. (*slides you a little vial of clear liquid) But, only put half of the vial in at a time.
You agreed and took the vial, eager to help your flat-backed friend…
You and your friend, I think his name is Jason, were getting ready to play a big baseball game. The two of you were active on your community team, and loved to play the sport, spending hours practicing. A plus to being an athlete was that your bodies were both fit and impressive… with the exception of Jason’s flat butt.
Still, you were ready to help out your friend, because you’re just such a nice guy.
When Jason wasn’t looking, you grabbed his water bottle and uncapped the vial, ready to pour in half of it. Carefully, you tilted the small glass vial so that the clear liquid could slowly fall in at a controlled rate and—
In a flash, the entire vial emptied into the water bottle. Oops.
For a brief moment, you panicked and wondered if you’d wasted your time and your chance to help your friend; but before you could react, Jason stalked forward.
“Hey, Man, can you pass me my water?” he asked in his deep voice. He’s a really handsome man with large, sexy muscles and a killer smile. It’s just a shame that he doesn’t have a rear, so to speak.
“Um,” you tried to stall, unable to think up an excuse. “Here…?” You hesitantly closed the lid and handed him the spiked water bottle, holding you breath as he eagerly grabbed it.
“Thanks,” Jason grunted as he took a large swig of the tainted liquid, followed by loud gulps until the bottle was empty. “Guess I was pretty thirsty.” He tugged up his loose pants and jogged out onto the baseball field. The fabric was loose and wrinkly, and he had to tug his pants up a little bit as they rode lower with every step.
For a brief moment, you worried a little bit about what sort of ramifications could occur because you’d accidentally used the entire vial; but once the game started, the panic drifted away from your mind and you began to enjoy yourself.
As the game progressed, you sat in the dug out, and Jason was on one of the bases.
Jason looked a little flushed and he grabbed at the back of his normally loose pants, his eyes widening at what he felt.
From your vantage point, you could see exactly what had brought about such a reaction.
Jason’s usually loose pants now looked like they were painted on. The tight, white fabric was pressed against a butt that had seemed to magically grow out of nowhere. The jock who had been ridiculed frequently for being flat in the back now possessed a sizable bubblebutt that made him look like he was an avid cyclist.
“Wh-what the hell?” Jason wondered aloud as he glanced over his broad shoulder to examine the big butt attached to his lower back. It pressed out from his back a little more than what he would’ve liked, which was weird since he usually was embarrassed about his lack of a butt— but this one looked a little too big for his liking.
Then Jason’s new butt shuddered as the growth continued.
The jock freaked out as his butt grew out even further away from his back. It bubbled out farther and farther, rounding out as it grew. The new cheeks pressed against his pants that struggled to contain the new girth within them, seams starting to groan as they began to fail—
RRIIIPPP!
Jason’s pants finally gave way, his fleshy new mounds rippling out in the open for all to see. They grew so far out that they formed a nearly perfect shelf with Jason’s back, officially crossing the line into oversized territory. Now, the jock who had always lamented being flat in the back was bright red with humiliation as his enormous new bubblebutt hung out in the open for all to see. He knew deep down that none of his pants would ever fit over his rotund, massive butt.
Your bottom-heavy friend took an awkward step forward, his face going red as a tomato at how different his gait was. He could feel the meaty cheeks rolling over each other as he moved, and the cheeks rippled and bounced nonstop.
“Where’re you going?” the coach yelled out as Jason tried to waddle away. “We’re in the middle of a game!”
You and Jason were beyond confused over what had happened, but as you looked over the nonchalant crowd, you realized that no one, except for the two of you, could tell that Jason’s butt had managed to triple in size!
Still red in the face, Jason remained on the base, his big bubblebutt out in the open for all to see. And when he ran to home base, the mounds bounced and jiggled like crazy. When he returned to the dug out to where you were, Jason’s face was beet red with embarrassment.
“Good job out there, Jason!” Coach said as he gave your bottom-heavy friend’s exposed rear a playful swat.
The cheeks jiggled and shook from the impact, and you could see the front of Jason’s tightened pants strain against his hardening cock.
He winced when he sat down next to you, feeling the meaty cheeks squish under him.
Now it seems as if your friend has a new problem: He can’t keep his pants up because his butt is way too big for them.
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Business Breeches Blowout
After two flight delays, an overly handsy TSA agent, and a chatty seatmate, Bruce wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower and a power nap before meeting his colleagues at the conference welcome mixer.
His good luck only continued as the gruff airline employee informed him that in the chaos of his flight delays, his bag hadn't made it to the conference. Just fucking perfect.
The bag wasn't even set to arrive until after the conference, so he was cursed to spend the next three days in the wrinkled khakis, sweat-soaked button-down, and too-tight briefs that had been giving him a wedgie since before the cab dropped him off at the airport, lest he spend a fortune at the convention center mall.
Resigned, he grumpily got in a conference shuttle. The overcrowded shuttle and stop-and-go traffic did nothing to help his mood. By the time they made it to the hotel, he shoved his way to the exit so he could beat the rush of shuttle riders to reception.
"Welcome in Sir, how was your flight?" said the cheery cherub-faced twink at the reception desk.
"Listen kid, cut the shit, I've had the travel day from hell ok, name’s Bruce Smyth, just get me a room key and book me a massage while you're at it."
"Oh, um ok. Mr. Smyth it says here that there was a water leak in the room you were initially supposed to stay in, it's all fixed but it won't be clean for a few hours. We'd love to offer you a complimentary glass of champagne while you wait."
"Un-fucking-belivable. One goddamn glass of champagne for a few hours of waiting? Are you kidding me? Find another room."
"Sir as I'm sure you're aware, we're fully booked for the conference."
"I don't give a fuck." Bruce was yelling now. "Find a solution! Bump someone else." Bruce began kicking the reception desk.
"This. Is. Un. Acceptable." With each staccato word another kick. On the final kick, a noise loud enough to break Bruce's tirade and silence the hum of the lobby rang out.
RRRRIPPPPPP
Bruce gasped as his hands promptly flew back to his ass. The pressure of his kicks tore his Brooks Brothers breeches right down the seam. His brief-clad ass was suddenly on display for everyone to see.
"Oh my god, he ripped his pants!"
"That's a big ass, surprised it even fit in those khakis, to begin with."
"Serves him right for cutting all of us in line, The jackass is now practically bare ass."
"Cheek out the peep show!"
This can not be happening, Bruce thought. This must have been a nightmare. The endless barrage of travel hiccups and now he was the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. Unfortunately for Bruce, it was all too real.
"Mr. Smyth," the twink said with all the smugness of someone watching karmic justice served in real-time. "Your room will be ready in a few hours, I'd be happy to convert that glass of champagne into a $10 voucher for one of the retail establishments. It seems like you might need it."
Before Bruce could even think to respond the hotel associate shouted "Next!" and Bruce fled the lobby with his head hung low and his hands shielding his ass from view.
Bruce's travel day from hell ended in the retail wing of the convention center dropping $150 on a three-pack of briefs and pair of slacks, trying to maintain his dignity as his ass hung out in front of a hotel lobby filled with his colleagues. How embarrassing...
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One of the benefits of taking spin class in an open-air gym was no one blinked an eye when you took off your tank. After all, the trade off for the vitamin D boost was the stifling humidity. But you were there to sweat, no pain no gain, etc. So you embraced the stickiness and powered through the ride. What you hadn't planned to embrace was the free show you were giving to the dozens of guys in the rows behind you. Your trusty pair of spandex had never failed you until today. A combination of the excess sweat and the gargantuan glute gains you made since taking up spinning left your tights completely sheer. While you were head down ass up powering through your workout you couldn't figure what was so funny in the back rows or what had so many guys on their phones. In due time you'd learn how you became the butt of the joke.
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Kyle Krieger in the Locker Room
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