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druigprotectionsquad · 2 years

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Play Pretend

summary: When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help. pairing: bucky x reader word count: 7.8k warnings: smut (18+), sex pollen (with as much consent as one can have in a dub/con trope)

“What in the—” you slammed an elbow to the nose of the assailant behind you, “holy,” a quick right jab to another coming up on your left, “godforsaken,” a knee plunged straight to your ribs and you kicked to the assailant who managed to get one up on you, “hell, Rogers!”

Another body fell to the ground and settled at the collection at your feet.

Dripping in sweat, heart pounding in your chest, and your body short of giving out completely, you slumped a shoulder against the cold frame of the wall. Down the hall, at least a dozen more Hydra agents were barreling towards you.

There was no response on the coms; not that you expected as much. The Hydra base in Munich you were tasked with rigging to blow was meant to be abandoned. Nothing left but a dozen empty cells and decades of barbaric research no one should ever lay eyes on again.

Seemed Captain Roger’s intel was just slightly off. Tell that to the series of bodies lying in your wake.

“You better send backup, Rogers, or I swear to God I’ll haunt your star-spangled ass for all eternity,” you grumbled to the broken transmission as you attempted to square up. Fists out ahead of you, swaying slightly on weakened legs, a dizziness in your vision making it hard to tell exactly how many men were charging straight at you.

“What? I’m not enough for you?” Bucky suddenly appeared on your right, chuckling to himself as he released the empty magazine from his weapon and quickly replaced it with a new one. Blood was soaked into his hair line, mixing with the sweat beaded on his forehead, and he brushed the back of his hand against his face to smear it back into his hair.

“About time you showed up. Making me do all the hard work myself,” you scoffed, shooting him a teasing smile as you eyed the hallway he came rushing in from.

He insisted you’d be out in time for movie night back home if the two of you split up, divided the C4 amongst you and met back at the quinjet in twenty. Not even his super soldier instincts could have predicted this place would be overrun with stray Hydra agents looking for a rematch.

One of the agents opposing you whipped out a handgun and Bucky jumped forward, using his left arm as a shield. The bullets ricocheted across the room, puncturing into another Hydra agent who collapsed to the ground clutching his knee.

You exhaled a heavy breath, the edges of your lips dipping down into a frown as you watched more agents stepping over the bodies of their colleagues and advancing down the hallway. You glanced up at Bucky, watching as he weighed the rifle in his hands, bouncing it lightly. It was running low on ammo.

“You get anyone on coms yet?”

“Nothing. We’re on our own.” Bucky gritted his teeth, firing a few rounds down at the mass of Hydra agents swarming their way towards you. It knocked a few of them down, at least.

You started to take a few steps in their direction, yanking a knife from the spine of an agent on the ground before you whipped it down at the ones ahead of you, knocking another to the ground. The echo of gunfire tore through the cramped hall again and it left a pile of men at the front lines.

Four left.

“That was my last round,” Bucky grunted, tossing the weapon to the floor as he tugged a small blade from the holster on his thigh. He smirked as he glanced over at you through the corner of his eye. “Who do you want?”

You shrugged, studying the four agents who came to a slow halt at the opposite end of the hallway. The two on the left looked about as you’d expected from Hydra agents; tall, dark haired, with shoulders twice as wide as their hips and a vicious kind of look in their eyes. Then, a blonde-haired woman who couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from Bucky, a hand resting impatiently on the knife against her hip. Last, a man who towered at least two feet above the others with a long, jagged scar covering most of his face.

“I’ll take the two on the right.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, glancing between you and your chosen assailants. The taller one cracked his neck to the side and bared his teeth.

“You’re sure?”

You feigned offense; a hand pressed your heart as you took a few steps forward, sliding the batons out from the holsters along your shoulder blades and twirling them between your fingers. “You underestimate me, Barnes. You think I’d let you have all the fun?”

Bucky laughed, shaking his head as he jogged to catch up with you, disregarding the battle cries of the Hydra agents as they advanced as if it was only ever the two of you in the room. “Not a chance in hell, sweetheart.”

The blonde woman stared to advance on Bucky, eyes trailing him up from his boots to the top of his head with a devilish kind of look in her stare. She licked at her lips hungrily, as if she was ready to take a bite into him, though he paid her no mind as he rushed at the two men to her right.

“Hey, Barbie!” you called, waving a baton in the air to grab her attention. “Looks like your stuck with me.”

She glared at you, pausing in her strut for only a minute, but it was all you needed. You sprinted towards her, using the wall as leverage as you jumped up against the frame to propel yourself into her. Baton at ready, you slammed down into her collarbone as she let out a yelp and fell down to the ground. It didn’t take her long to get back on her feet and when she did, her knife was nestled tight into her grip, a new kind of intrigue on her face as she stared you down.

“Need any help over here?” Bucky called out from the end of the hallway as he ducked under the right hook of one of his assailants. He clipped one in the knees, sending them spiraling to the floor with a pained shout, before he smirked over in your direction.

“Mind your business, Barnes!” You rolled your eyes as a smile crept up against your lips.

Barbie took a single glance back at Bucky before her eyes returned to you and there was something darker within her stare you didn’t quite notice, or perhaps you simply mistook it for enemy territory. Either way, when she raised her arm with knife in hand, you whipped around the baton in a backhanded strike, sending the knife flying down the hall. Unarmed, she stared at you with wide, fearful eyes, until you knocked her out with a final hit to the side of her. Nothing fatal, but it would keep her under until backup arrived to hull her in.

Bucky was still fighting off his second attacker as you approached the man leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, patiently waiting. He pushed himself off the wall, cracked his knuckles between his palms with sharp snaps that echoed down into the hallway.

“Think you can take me, little girl?” he taunted, voice low and thick, like it had gone years in disuse. He made a show of the way he settled into his stance; fists held out in front of him, shadow boxing in an attempt to intimidate you. It seemed to catch him off guard when you rolled your eyes.

“It’s been a long day,” you shrugged, “and frankly, I’d like to go home. So, let’s make this quick.”

The arrogant smirk dropped from his face, replaced quickly with a wash of rage that a woman half his size would dare mock him in such a way. But he was clumsy in his stance and in his swings, so you saw each of his moves coming a mile ahead. With every right hook, you slid under his arm and stepped out behind him. In every jab, you side stepped out of reach. He exhausted himself while you made little effort in your defense. Without a single offensive throw, he was panting in a matter of minutes.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he bellowed, loud enough to make Bucky pause for a moment and you winced as his assailant took advantage of the moment to get in a punch to his jawline. He recovered quickly, giving you the security to face your own attacker head on. The Hydra giant was dripping in sweat, red in the face, teeth bared and near feral. “Fight me!”

“Only because you asked so nicely.”

As he threw his next swing, you met it with the brunt of your baton, stilling him in his stance. He stared at you, wide eyes and jaw slacked, as you winked at him and dove under his legs. Before he could manage to turn around, you flicked at switch at the bottom of the batons which emitted an electrical pulse from the top edge and plunged it into the man's neck.

He convulsed, gargling out a few incoherent words, before he collapsed to the floor at your feet. You grinned, sliding the batons into the holsters at your shoulder blades.

“Alright, I take it all back,” Bucky’s voice chuckled from behind you. “You don’t need me at all.”

You laughed, shaking your head as several strands fell down into your face, lost to the bun at the top of your head in the struggle. As you turned to face Bucky, you found him standing with his hands planted on his hips and the brightest smile on his face, one that took him years to find again since you first met him and damn if it wasn’t one of the most beautiful sights you’d ever seen.

But then, there was a sudden rush of movement on the ground. One of the Hydra agents wrestled back up to his feet behind Bucky, a malice imbedded deep into his glare, a determination as he rushed forward.

There was little time to think as you lunged for the knife you broke free of the blonde agent’s hand and whipped it across the room. It plunged straight into the man’s jugular and he fell backwards, hands sliding out from around Bucky’s neck as blood coated the tile floors.

“Shit,” you panted, hands on your knees. “You okay?”

Bucky didn’t respond.

Slowly, heart pounding in your chest, you glanced up to find him pulling a syringe from his neck. He stared at it for a second, stunned as a few stray droplets dripped from the edge of the needle before he dropped it to the ground, letting it slip out from his fingers limply. The vile was empty as it rolled along the tile and settled against the dead body of its owner.

“Bucky?”

There was a sudden, paralyzing dread that swept over his features, one that seemed to worsen as his eyes fell upon yours. Then, his knees started to buckle, his stance falling unsteady and you rushed forward, darting under his arm to catch him before could lay amongst the bodies of Hydra agents. He was shaking, hands trembling, and you could feel the sharp rise and fall of his breath as you held him steady.

“We have to get you out of here,” you said, trying to push down the panic etching its way up your spine, but Bucky shook his head.

“No time.” It was all he could mutter out.

“Bucky, you've just been injected with God knows what and we need to get to you a medic or—”

“There,” he grunted, pointed to an open room at the end of the hallway. With a thick, metal door and dozen locks lining the outside, it was more of a cell than a room. You started to shake your head, but Bucky gripped tight to your arm. “Y/n, please.”

You watched him carefully, noticed how he couldn’t seem to meet your eye, how sweat was beading at his hairline more profusely than it was in the midst of a battle, how his breaths were broken and trembling on every exhale.

“Okay, okay. Hold on.” You slowly guided him to step over the bodies at your feet, most unconscious, others not as lucky, and swiftly led him into the cell. It seemed to put him at ease as you aided him to sit on one of the metal chairs at the center of the room. As you released your touch from his arm, a rush of what appeared to be pain twisted into his facial features though he tried to hide it.

“So, what do we do now?” you asked. “I could try to find the lab. They could have counteractants to whatever this is. Or I could try to fix the coms... but we all know Parker’s a lot better with that stuff than I am.”

You laughed, trying to ease the tension in the room, but it was so thick you could have cut through it with the blunt edge of your baton. Bucky’s eyes were glued to the floor, his hands curling around the undersides of the chair until the metal warped under his grip.

“You need to leave.”

Your smile dropped. “What? No, are you crazy? I’m not leaving you alone after—”

“Go!” His voice boomed against the walls and you tried not to let the shock startle you.

“Bucky, stop. That’s not happening.” You dug your fingers into your hips as you paced back over the door, stole a quick glance in both directions. It was still empty save for the bodies lying in your wake. It seemed you and Bucky were entirely alone. You pinched the bridge of your nose. “We’ll figure something out, okay? We always do. This can’t be worse than the time we were buried in that old chevy under twelve feet of snow in Alaska last year, can it?”

You shot him a grin, hoping to ease him, though it did little use. His face was red, jaw stoned. He looked like he was barely breathing.

“You’re not hearing me,” Bucky groaned, his voice molding into something darker. “You're not safe here. You need to leave. Now. Before I... Before I can’t control this. Before I hurt you.”

You paused, narrowing your eyes. “What are you talking about? Do you… Do you know what that stuff was?”

Bucky clenched his jaw, turning away from you the best he could. He let out a pained groan and kicked the chair out from under him. It slammed against the wall with a harsh clash and forced a skip in your heartbeat, a hand darting up to your chest. Bucky leaned over the table, trying to find support, but he ended up gripping onto the sides hard enough to dent imprints in the shape of his hands.

You rushed forward, desperate to help because you couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain, and placed a hand on his shoulder. It touched upon the thick straps of Kevlar for only a second, and still, it was enough to elicit a visceral reaction. He whined, something between a moan and cry, and he slumped down out of your reach.

“Don’t touch me,” Bucky warned, though his voice broke in the effort. His breaths were labored and heavy, and still it seemed as though he could barely get one in. “Please. You—You have to get away from me. I’m— I’m begging you.”

Bucky choked back a cry, biting down hard on his lower lip, and it was then you noticed his right hand palming at the hardened outline nestled tight against his thigh. He pressed the heel of his left into his eyes, shame burning hot against his ears and cheeks and trailing down in red patches along his neck. He tried to hide behind his hair, hide from you, but it was enough; you recognized what this was.

It was a serum created by Hydra in the seventies, meant to create inhumans of their own design when the clinical measures were proving unsuccessful. It was created to induce a euphoric state, a primal need beyond personal control, to put its host through hell until Hydra had what it wanted: a viable chance at an inhuman child.

“Bucky,” you called gently, though all you earned was a whimpered grunt in response. Slowly, you crossed the plane of the room to him and laid a hand against his collar. His eyes fluttered shut in response, his whole body keenly alert to every touch.

“You should leave,” he warned again, his gaze slowly drawing up to meet your own; a glossy shine shielded over a stunning ocean blue. “Let me... let me take care of this on my own. I’ll be f-fine.”

“It’ll be agonizing,” you told him, having remembered the speech Tony gave a few months back after the team first encountered the serum in Peru. “It won’t kill you, but it will feel pretty damn close. Nothing you do on your own will relieve it. It doesn't work like that. You need someone to help you through this.”

He shook his head. “No. I won’t-- I won’t ask you to do that.”

“You don’t have to,” you replied gingerly, drawing your hand up along his arm, tracing over swells of muscle as watching the way a shiver followed so tenderly in your wave. You rested your hand along his cheek, brushing your thumb under his eyes. He was scorching hot. You smiled at him, something soft and gentle, something sad. “I’m offering, Bucky.”

“No,” he grunted out. “I—I can’t. I won’t.”

You nodded, letting your hand fall to the side. It was remarkable he was able to hold himself back this long, let alone decline an offer when presented to him. You’d heard the stories of men to devolved to a near primal state, who attempted to jump the first person they saw and fought their way to release. Bucky was determined to spare you, even as you offered, even knowing that turning you down would put him through a world of pain.

“Okay,” you conceded. “Tell me what you need. Tell me something I can do, Buck, because I can’t just watch you in pain like this.”

Bucky stared at you, pupils blown wide, almost as if he could see right through you.

“Need to get this off,” he finally admitted, eyes drifting down to his suit.

“Okay,” you replied steadily. “Do you want help?”

He shook his head, his stare glued to the floor, but you could see the way his hands were reaching out for you, how he had to keep himself in check and hold them firmly at his sides. He tried to unfasten the buckle at his chest himself, but within seconds he let out a hallowed cry, dropping his head in defeat.

“Hurts,” he exhaled, and slowly his eyes came back up to yours. He forced out a halfhearted smile the best he could. “Can you...?”

You returned the nervous smile, as you took a cautious step forward. He followed your every move as your hands extended towards his chest, fingers clipping the buckles easily as they unsnapped down his jacket. Each one left a new breath of relief in its wake, like he was just on the edge of the surface, under only a few inches of water.

Your hands slid under the seams, helping to slip the sleeve down his right arm, and Bucky choked back a moan. His eyes fluttered shut, lips parted just slightly, and you jumped back.

“Sorry,” he muttered. His cheeks were near on fire.

“It’s alright, Buck. It’s not your fault.” You reached out for him again. “Here, let me help with your belt.”

“No, no, I’ve got it.” His hands were shaking as he started to fidget with the buckle. He swayed on his feet, trying to find some relief. As he unfastened the latch and unbuttoned the hem of his pants, his eyes flashed up to you. He exhaled a heavy breath. “Can you... Christ... can you turn around?”

The look on his face, the shame radiating from every ounce of him, shattered you right to your core. You nodded quickly, turning your back to him and making your way to the door. He needed privacy – of course, he did. He didn’t need you around to bear witness to the consequences of Hydra’s newest attempt to leave him powerless and vulnerable.

But just as you approached the door, Bucky called out quietly, “don’t go.”

You stilled in an instant, though you didn’t dare to turn around.

“It, um,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I think it helps if you’re here. If that’s alright.”

“Need something to look at, huh?” you laughed, trying to make light of the impossible position he was in, and you were thankful for the short chuckle you heard behind you.

“Don’t flatter yourself, doll. You’re the only one here,” he replied, a teasing back in his tone, and no matter how tense it was or how forced it felt, it made your heart skip a beat.

You smiled, shaking your head. Leave it to the two of you to find the humor in a situation like this. Biting down on your lip, you tried to suppress the grin, though it did little use.

Then, you heard the soft fall of his shirt to the floor. Quickly followed by the pants of his suit, dropping to the ground in a heap. He exhaled a breath that sounded as though he hadn’t done so in years and you found yourself wondering what he looked like standing there behind you, naked and aching, harder than he’d ever been in his life.

“Swear you won’t tell Sam about this.”

You shook your head, chewing on the inside of your cheek to hold back another laugh. “No promises.”

“Y/n.”

“You’ve got to be in crippling pain, Buck. You don’t have time to be embarrassed right now,” you shot back teasingly. “Stop edging.”

“Fine, okay,” he grumbled back, though you could hear the light in his voice, even if it was a little tense. “Just… give me a second.”

The room became impossibly quiet, painfully so, and you waited under bated breath for something to happen. The smile slowly left your lips, fading into a restless frown as you listened intently to his labored breathing, the tight groans of pain, until finally, his hand circled around the base of his cock.

The whine that left his lips was near sinful, and you felt your own breath hitch in your chest as you listened to soft whimpers parting his lips as he stroked himself, covering his length in the precum dropping at his tip. Heavy breaths and wet pumps of his closed hand around his cock, and you clenched your thighs together, wondering how his eyes might travel over your frame.

But God – those sounds he made were beautiful. You could picture him tugging his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes fluttering shut, his shoulders slacking, knees falling a little weak the harder he gripped at himself. Little murmurs of ‘oh god,’ and ‘fuck yes,’ and ‘please’ as he fucked his fist.

You didn’t know how much time had passed by, but your lip was nearly chewed raw, nails indented into the palms of your hands. You could hear how close he was, how his movements picked up in pace, how his breaths labored, how his moans filled the room higher and higher until – it stopped.

Sudden and aching, he lost it before the fall and your heart broke as you heard him cry out in pain.

“Bucky?” you called softly, not daring to turn around to face him after he asked you not to. Your heart was pounding in your chest, hands clenched tight, and you swore your knees would buckle out from under you if you unlocked them for even a second.

“Fuck, I… I can’t...”

“Bucky, are you okay?” you tried again, worried. There was a panic in his voice that wasn’t there before, a desperate longing etched into every syllable, and it scared you.

“I can smell you,” he said simply, achingly.

Your breath hitched and you squeezed your legs together. There was a throbbing there, an emptiness you couldn’t quite shake. “Do you... Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” he replied quickly and you could tell he was contemplating his options. He was growing desperate and that lingering sense of control he maintained was slipping through his fingers. “No, I— You were right. I can’t do it on my own. I need—fuck. I need…”

“Just ask,” you offered again, head tilting just enough to the side that he could see your face but you kept your stare to the wall. “I’m here. I’m saying yes. Just tell me what you need.”

“You.”

It surprised you as he said it; a little lower, a little darker, but certain.

Slowly, you turned to face him.

Sculpted by Michelangelo himself, Bucky carried the most beautiful lines across his body; divots along muscles and carvings of delicate design. You could tell he expected your eyes to fall straight to his shoulder, to the mess of scars and metal he loathed, or to the vulnerability standing hard in his grasp, but instead, you kept your gaze focused on his eyes.

Bucky stood completely naked before you, his right hand still pumping slowly around his cock as you edged forward. He watched you, biting at his lip as he flicked his thumb over his tip. Eyes trailed down over your frame greedily, hungrily, as if the act of simply looking was enough to draw a twitch from his cock. He tugged his lip between his teeth, tightening his grip around himself.

As you came up beside him, you reached up and sat your hand against his right shoulder, watching how he closed his eyes in response, how his jaw slacked. His lazy thrusts evened out, slowing down, as you traced your hand down his arm, simply lost in your touch. Your hand slid down his bicep, over raised muscle, along his forearm to his wrist, and then, you gently nudged his hand from his cock and replaced it with your own.

His lips fell open, a slight tremble in his breath as you gripped him. His forehead dropped to your shoulder, leaning against you as he caged you to what appeared to be an interrogation table. You felt the warped metal against your thighs from where he’d clutched at it just moments earlier.

Steadily, you began to pump him in your hand, careful to spread the wet of his precum down his shaft. He was hard within your grasp, painfully so, enough that you could feel the crystal outline of a vein running up along the underside. You pressed your thumb against it as you slid your hand up to his tip and brushed it over his slit. The whine he released against your neck was the most beautiful sound you ever heard.

“This okay?”

“S’good.” He nodded meekly against your collar but you could feel the strain in his shoulders, the restraint that left his jaw wired shut and breaths tight.

“It’s not enough, though. Is it?” you asked gently, though you knew the answer. You knew what he needed and your hand, or even your mouth, would not be enough. The Hydra scientists knew what they were doing when they designed this. It had a very specific purpose and it would not yield for anything less.

“You don’t have to, Y/n,” he said, stronger than you’d heard his voice since he was injected. It took nearly all his strength.

You smiled, letting your free hand cup at the side of his face. He leaned into the touch, seeking more, almost instinctively. Bucky was a complicated man; capable of light-hearted jokes in the middle of a warzone and an immeasurable guilt and shame that had not left him in his years since he was freed from Hydra. He was your closest friend, your partner in the field, a man that you trusted above all others, a man you cared for in ways he would never quite understand.

“I’m here, Bucky. I’ve got you,” you whispered sweetly, but you could still feel his hesitance. “Listen to me, I’ll leave if you really want me to. I’ll stop if this isn’t what you want. But please, don’t send me away and leave you suffer through this alone because you think I don’t want you. I do, Buck. I want you. I want to make you feel good. I want to take away your pain. Let me.”

He stared at you for a moment, a strange mixture of disbelief and longing upon his features. Slowly his hands lifted from the table and felt for the clasp at the back of your suit. You nodded at him, and slid the zipper down your spine, exposing perfect, untouched skin. He pealed it down along your shoulders, over your chest and down your waist. You helped him remove it down to your feet and kicked it off to the floor beside his own.

His eyes drifted to your chest, hands itching to reach out, but he held them firm at his sides.

“It’s okay, Buck. You can touch me,” you told him, reaching behind your back and releasing the clasp of your bra. The straps fell down your shoulders and you let the fabric slip from you. Bucky swallowed, his eyes drifting to your exposed chest. A smile started to curve upon your lips the longer he stared at you, like you were something to revere.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured quietly, almost to himself, as if saying it purely for the state of fact.

Your heart skipped a beat, lips parting in a slight shock, and you wondered if this was what it was like for the women he brought home on cold, lonely nights from the bar. You’d seen the content smiles on their faces in the morning as they sauntered out of his room with messy hair and a blissful kind of look in their eyes.

Bucky wasn’t the cold, calculating man the papers made him out to be. He was kind, exceptionally sweet, and a selfless to a fault. You didn’t suspect he was any different in a bedroom.

He shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I never thought this would be how—"

But then— his face started to contort and suddenly Bucky was keening over. He clutched at his stomach, digging his nails deep into the muscle and he nearly collapsed to his knees.

“Bucky!”

You grabbed a firm hold of his right arm, just enough to keep him steady, and even the smallest of touches alone seemed to ignite something in him. Goosebumps littered his skin and a sweet kind of whine escaped past his lips as you ran a hand soothingly along his spine.

“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time,” you warned gently. It was a miracle within itself he was still on his feet. This serum had put ordinary men into shock within minutes if they didn’t find release. Never enough to kill them, but just enough to make them wish it would.

Bucky followed you back to the table at the center of the room, his hand clasped tightly in your own. It was the most physical affection you’d shown for one another, a tenderness outside of the rush of foreign chemicals in his veins, and you tried not to think about the fallout you were bound to find after.

He helped to guide you onto the table, resting your back against the cool, metal surface. Then, slowly, he crawled on top of you. His eyes drifted down to your panties and you lifted your hips for him, giving him the permission he needed to pull them down your legs.

His hand slid down along your curves, drawing goosebumps in his wake, until he swiftly slid his fingers between your thighs. Dipping into the wetness at your core, he spread his fingers around, lubricating himself until he slid two easily inside of you.

“Oh, Bucky,” you moaned, back arching as he pumped them against your walls. “God, that feels—so good.”

His left hand was curled tightly into a fist near you head as he propped his body weight up against the arm; gears whirring, the scars at the base of his shoulder red in the strain of it. One quick glance at the tension coating his muscles, the sharp breaths in his chest, the whine as his cock touched your thigh, and you were pulled swiftly from the clouds, a startling reminder why you were doing this in the first place.

“Hey, don’t worry about me,” you told him, a little breathless as he added the third finger. “I’m fine, Buck. You need to come. This isn’t about me.”

He shook his head, determined. “You’re not ready yet.”

You chuckled, a heat of embarrassment washing over you, even as he scissored his fingers, stretching your walls. You had to choke back a moan and the urge to clamp your thighs together around his wrist.

“I’m more than ready,” you said, voice a little higher, hands clenching at the sides of the table as you felt your walls tightening around his fingers. “Trust me, Buck. Just listening to you touch yourself was enough.”

You laughed again but the room was thick in tension, almost unbearably so. Bucky could hardly hear you. His hair had fallen down to shield his face, his gaze focused on where his fingers were lost to the most intimate parts of you; determined.

“It has to be good for you,” he muttered out slowly. You narrowed your eyes on him, growing worried as he seemed to retreat within himself. He was distant, his mind far away from his body. “It has to be good… it has to be good for you otherwise… otherwise I’m… I’m...”

He wouldn’t say it but you knew what he meant.

“Bucky, come back to me.” You reach up and grabbed a firm hold of his cheeks, thumbs at his jawline, and drew his attention to your eyes. It took him a moment to get there, but you found ocean blue again, even if it was clouded in dark, stormy skies. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about how I feel, alright? Just do what you need to, I’ll be fi—”

“I won’t use you like that!” Bucky snapped defiantly, startling you. “I don’t care that it feels like my skin is on fire and there’s knives carving through my body. I don’t care that I feel like I’m going to pass out and everything in me is fighting to force my way onto you and take what I want regardless of what it does to you! I don’t care! You’re my best friend and I… I…” He was panting, red in the face, and he couldn’t seem to find his words. He swallowed, though it looked as though it burned. “It has to be good for you, okay?”

You nodded, running your hands gently along his arms; his left, solid metal, unwavering, and his right trembled deep within the tissue – the gentle movements of his forearm pressed up against your stomach, his fingers searching out a pleasure he so desperately needed you to feel.

“I…” he started before he clenched his jaw. A heavy exhale followed, a drop of his gaze, and he muttered out weakly, “I need to pretend this is real.”

Your lips parted in shock; heart stammering so painful in your chest you wondered if he could hear it. Before you could say anything, before you could ask him what he meant by that, Bucky let his fingers slip out from between your legs, resting slicked against your thigh. The emptiness was startling.

“I think you’re ready for me now.”

Bucky nestled himself between your legs, lined his length your entrance with a gentle sweep of his top through your folds. He shivered, something near violent as it shook through his spine, and you were reminded again that Bucky was suffering, that he had a foreign chemical in his veins that ripped away his control and left him powerless to Hydra.

His skin was flushed red, sweat beading on his forehead and down his neck. There were sharp marks in the palm of his right hand where he dug his own nails into his skin. His breaths were coming in quickly and uneven.

“Look at me,” you ordered, stern enough to draw his attention. “Don’t hold back. You need to get this out, okay? I will tell you if it’s too much.”

It took him a moment, a breath of contemplation, before he nodded; slow and hesitant. You could see the strain in his jawline, the tension in his shoulders from how much he was restraining himself. It must have been agonizing, but Bucky had been through worse in his life. You supposed pain had become a familiar friend, one he learned to tame and control, even when it ripped him apart.

The moment he pressed his tip past your entrance, as he bottomed out in one thrust, as he felt your walls squeeze tightly around him for the first time, Bucky nearly came on the spot. He gasped into your shoulder, sucking marks against your skin as he rolled his hips against you. Slow and steady at first, reveling in the feel of being consumed whole, of being taken so well, of a rush of endorphins and pleasure he’d never felt even in the peak of sex. Everything was heightened, every touch was immaculate; he could feel your heartbeat through the walls squeezing at his cock.

“Oh, f-fuck,” he moaned against your ear, breath hot, voice dangerously low. “Fuck you feel so good, sweetheart. So fucking good. Goddamn perfect.”

You nodded, arms circling up around his shoulders as you rolled your hips to meet his own. You could still feel the stone carved tension in his muscle, how much he was holding back from what he needed. He was trying to be gentle with you, loving in a way the serum was not designed for, but it was testing him. He wouldn’t give into it, not in the way you asked him to, because Bucky had already lost so much to Hydra, already lost pieces of his mind and body, he would not let them take his soul, too.

“Just for you.” The words passed through your lips before you could quite catch onto their meaning. Your hands slipped down his chest as you brushed your thumbs against his nipples. He moaned, hips picking up in pace. He needed the encouragement, you realized. It was the only way he’d allow himself the release he needed to free his body of that serum.

He needed to pretend it was real.

He needed to pretend that you weren’t laying upon a cold, unforgiving table in an old Hydra base, that maybe this was something more than the consequences of a vile he didn’t ask for.

The line between the fantasy and reality was painfully thin.

“F-fuck, you’re so tight,” he mumbled breathily. The table began to squeak with every snap of his hips, with every drag of his cock at your core, the brush of his tip to the sweetest spot. It was easy to lose yourself in him, to forget that you were in an abandoned Hydra cell, that he had a foreign chemical in his veins determined to destroy him. He felt like heaven.

“S’all yours,” you whispered, drawing your hands down along his waist, slipping over his hips and gripping into the soft flesh of his ass. You pulled him deeper into you, daring him to go further. His pupils were blown so wide, you could barely see the blue in his eyes. He was slipping, barely holding into the restraint he so desperately clung to, and you rolled your hips at just the right angle, squeezed him enough to draw a mangled cry from his lips.

You kissed at the dip of his collar, sucking sweetly as he all but purred in response. Your lips mapped a path up his neck, along his jaw line, over cheekbones and at the tip of his nose, until you paused at his mouth. His heart was pounding, thunderous in his chest, and his hips seemed to pick up in pace with every kiss.

It wasn’t until you captured his lips against your own that Bucky lost the last ounce of control he had been clinging onto.

Something like a growl purred against your lips, a sound near feral, and the gentle push of his hips like ocean waves against you turned into quick, harsh snaps. He pulled his lips from you, trailing hot, wet kisses down your neck, until he found the place he was looking for and sunk his teeth to the crook of your shoulder.

“Ah, Bucky!”

All consuming. Feverish. A man untamed and he did not relent, not as your walls tightened around him like the twist of a coil, or as the sound of skin and wetness between your legs echoed high into the room, or when his fingers touched at your clit and rubbed harsh, quick and pressured circles until you were crying out so loudly, it must have carried through the whole base.

“Fuck! Ah, God, Bucky, don’t stop!”

Bucky groaned against you, sucking a mark where his teeth had met your flesh. You could feel the vibration of his voice against your skin, the pulse of his cock in your cunt, the thick vein that ran along his underside as it added so sweetly to the pressure at your entrance. It was wild and unhinged, but God – it was good.

“Y-yeah, baby, right there,” Bucky moaned, his thrusts falling uneven, haphazard, needy. “F-fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna—ah, ah, f-fuck—”

The heat of him, the way he filled you so perfectly, the rush, and it pushed you over the edge. White hot and intoxicating, the wash of it broke open in floodgates and swept through you. His fingers did not let up on your clit as you squirmed and withered below him, his thrusts falling lazy as he chased the end of his release.

Breathless and a little dizzy as you came down from your high, you felt his heartbeat inside of you; quick, but even. The serum had done its work. It released him from its hold.

Bucky was panting, the full of his weight having fallen onto you. His hair was wet with sweat, messy and untamed, and the room smelled distinctly of sex. But more than that, it was unbearably silent.

Slowly, Bucky began to pry himself off of you, allowing his softened cock to slip from between your legs, slick and satisfied. He swallowed, a blush creeping onto his cheek as he pushed his hair behind his ear.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

You chuckled, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched him quickly tug his pants back on before he bent down and picked up your suit for you, handing it gingerly to you upon the table with a shy sort of smile.

“Alright? I’m great.” You grinned over at him, glowing in the aftermath of your release. “You feel okay now?”

He nodded, a nervous smile tugging on his lips as he watched you jump down from the table and step into your suit. His eyes must have lingered on your thighs where his cum was still slick along the skin from his release because his smile began to fall, his jaw tightly clenched.

“SHEILD has me on birth control, Buck. Don’t worry about that,” you told him softly. You tugged the sleeves back up your arms, though it proved difficult with the lingering sweat on your skin. You flipped your hair over your shoulder and turned your back to him. “Do you mind?”

He cleared his throat awkwardly, shuffling forward to zip up the back of your suit. He brushed a few stray strands of hair over your shoulder, the gentle sweep of cool metal a relief against the hot flush of your skin; impossibly tender for a man capable of the things he was.

“So,” he started, a nervous chuckle in his voice as he grasped hold of the zipper, “should we talk about this or—”

“Bucky? Y/n? You guys read me?”

Steve.

“Seems the coms are back on,” you sighed, stepping to the side after Bucky finished zipping your suit. He was still holding his tactical vest in his hand, along with the one-armed jacket. His hair was untamed, cheeks flushed, and you imagined you looked of the same.

“We got you, Steve,” Bucky replied, though it seemed rather reluctant. “Where you been, man? You dropped us in a warzone.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” Steve grumbled back. “Get to the jet. We’ll debrief on the way back. Don’t forget to rig the place to blow on your way out.”

“Right,” you rolled your eyes, grinning at Bucky as he slipped his jacket on. “Certainly, can’t forget the one thing you sent us here to do.”

“Unless you’ve got more Hydra agents hiding in the wings?” Bucky added on and you could practically see Steve deadpan from the cockpit.

“Just get out of there before I come get you myself.”

You laughed as you slid the batons back into the holsters at your shoulder blades.

It was strange, how quickly it felt as if nothing had changed at all. Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe it was a quick release and you were simply helping a friend. Maybe it was something neither of you would speak of again and you’d go right back to being partners, friends, as if it never happened.

But as you turned around at the edge of the room, a smile wide upon your face, you found Bucky watching you with a kind of look in his eye you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t one you recognized, wasn’t one you’d seen in him before. It was something new.

His eyes flickered to your collarbone where a mark upon your skin was growing discolored; bite marks and bruising where his mouth had been. A strange mixture of remorse and longing, affection and need, all rolled into one.

“You ready, Buck?”

He nodded quickly, snapping himself from his gaze with a pressed smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, though he tried. He met you at the edge of the room, trailing a few steps behind you, and you turned around to find him staring back into the cell, like he was trying to preserve a memory of some kind.

You realized as you watched Bucky clear his throat awkwardly, turning back to you with a gentle blush of pink in his cheeks, that there was no pretending you hadn’t crossed a line together. There was no going back.

---

part 2

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druigprotectionsquad · 2 years

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what is a writer, if not a miserable little pile of ideas and half written google docs

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Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing

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I would let him 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒆.

No questions asked.

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The sound of heavy rain while you are in bed.

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What is voidpunk?

voidpunk is an aesthetics subculture that rejects human identity and embraces being nonhuman. popped up from marginalized groups who are often dehumanized as an excuse to mistreat them – trans & nonbinary folk, arospecs, acespecs, neurodivergent & disabled people, and people of color are often the ones welcoming voidpunk but that's not an exclusive list.

as a result of our marginalization from society, people in voidpunk may feel disconnected from their humanity. I liken that voidpunk asks "so what if we're not human? That's not a reason to mistreat us." they challenge the normative social elements regarded as "innately human."

voidpunk embraces aesthetic elements that are not considered human. sometimes it manifests as looking entirely alien, though humanoid shapes are still common, albeit with deviations.

I love it. I've had this sense that I wasn't human, at least didn't feel human among humans, since I was little. I distinctly remember wondering in first grade whether I was an alien wrapped in human skin and dropped off on Earth. I just felt and still do sometimes feel detached from others, like a distance between people irl I just couldn't relate to. I am much of a social pariah. finding voidpunk and the community that came with it made me feel valid in my feelings and, in part, excuse to go wild with creative liberties.

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druigprotectionsquad · 2 years

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"you need to get more exercise" "you should eat healthier" do you think i care about what happens to this pathetic human vessel in the slightest?

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Are you a “can’t write dialogue” writer or a “can’t describe anything” writer

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BILLY HARGROVE & STEVE HARRINGTON in STRANGER THINGS 2 ↳ Chapter Four: Will the Wise

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||ARGUING CAUSES ACCIDENTS|| Bucky x F! Reader WHUMP

Inspired by my own whump prompt that you can read here

Summary- After an argument on a mission, you and Bucky are captured and held in a basement in a remote location. Bucky is restrained and you are on the other side of the room. Reader tries to attack the HYDRA agent but is attacked by the nearest ojectin this cluttered basement- a bowling ball.

WARNINGS- Reader getting seriously whumped with a bowling ball (ouch), Bucky being cut with a dagger, Bucky begging for your safety, slightly creepy agent whumper, reader choking on their blood. EVERYONE SURVIVES, WORRY NOT.

Bucky woke up with a blinding headache, waiting to adjust from the harsh light of the sun but it never came. He blinked a few times and groaned, he went to move his hand to his head to check for injuries but was alarmed by the clink noise that came when he tried. Both his hands were cuffed to a thick metal pipe attached to the wall he was leaning on. The cuffs were designed by HYDRA to hold his metal arm without breaking. He suddenly remembered the mission he was on and the events that lead to now came back to him.

He was on a mission to extract valuable information from a HYDRA base in a remote location, he was with you when you were both attacked- you. (Y/N). If he was here where were you?

“(Y/N)” He called out softy, hoping that your voice would be the next thing he hears. Instead of your voice a click was heard from somewhere in the room and a dim light brought Bucky out of the darkness.

He looked at his surroundings to see walls lined with shelves, and the shelves were filled with random objects, things like sports equipment, and fishing gear. This looked like a basement, there were no windows, it was cold and damp, the only sound he could hear was a slow drip of water coming from a corner of the room.

With the light now illuminating the room he scanned it for any sign of you, and he found you. You were lying down up against the wall across from him, still unconscious, bu not restrained in anyway, he was relieved to see there were no new injuries on your body, he called out again, hoping that he might be loud enough to wake you up .

Following the light turning on, he turned his head towards the sound of footsteps on creaking stairs.

“Don’t worry Winter Soldier, she is still alive.” A man, presumably a HYDRA agent, heard Bucky calling out to you, and registered the slight panic in his voice.

Bucky scowled at the man, now face to face with him he recognised him. this was an agent by the name of Agent Roman, an agent who worked closely Alexander Pierce, and was one of many agents who was in charge of keeping the Winter Soldier in line.

“You should really learn to keep your guard up soldier, you might not be in this mess if you were paying attention.”

He was right, the only reason you and Bucky were now being held captive was because you were too involved in an argument to notice you had been followed, and the attack could have been prevented. you had made a risky move, and succeeded, but Bucky was angry you had done something so reckless on a mission, and had you failed you’d both be dead right now. Bickering became full blown shouting and you were distracted enough for a group of agents to sneak up and knock you both out.

As Bucky remembered what happened, he reached a question, why where you here and what did the agent want?

Agent Roman wandered over to you and Bucky pulled against his cuffs to stop him. He tilted his head and looked down at you, letting out a satisfied huff.

“If you touch her I swear!-” He stood quickly and made an attempt to move forward to you in fear.

“Relax, Soldier, if you give me what I want then no harm will come to her”

Bucky was quick to speak for your safety, but he spoke too soon. You and Bucky’s relationship was not public knowledge to anyone other than the Avengers, because that knowledge in the wrong hands would but you both in danger. But with that sentence the agent was quick to assume his relationship with you was more than professional.

“What exactly do you want?” Bucky had grown impatient very quick;y. He was stood, still cuffed and unable to protect you from where he was, and he knew he would need to because HYDRA only want one thing with him.

Agent Roman slowly moved to a desk in front of a row of shelves, to withdraw a long sharp blade. He scraped the desk agonizingly slow and walked back to stand in front of Bucky.

“I want the Winter Soldier.” he grinned.

...

You could feel consciousness coming back to you, and it hurt. Your forehead was forming a bruise where you had been hit and knocked out and the pain radiated through your entire head. You let out quiet weak whimpers and lifted your head slowly off the ground.

As your eyes are struggling to come into focus you can hear grunts of pain from across the room, Bucky’s grunts of pain.

“James?” You were too quiet to be heard be either of them.

You looked again, eyes finally coming into focus. You could see Bucky with various cuts across his chest, soaking his shirt in blood, while a man stood beside him with a dagger in hand. You furrowed your brows together as you pushed yourself up lightly.

While Agent Roman was looking away from Bucky to clean the blood off his knife, Bucky caught you in his sight awake and trying to move. He grit his teeth and shook his head, silently begging you to stay down. You squinted back at him, obviously about to ignore him.

“Come on, soldier there is no use in resisting. HYDRA always get what they want. Come willingly and your teammates won’t be harmed...but if you resist, well we’ll get you anyway but I will personally see to it that your lover over there will be subjected to a similar torture.” The Agent sneered at Bucky, growing impatient.

Bucky squinted in confusion, caught off guard by the agent’s comment about you being the lover of HYDRA’s precious Winter Soldier. He was trying to play it off but the agent could see right through him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Bucky bit back. He was careful not to dart his eyes across the room to you as to not give away your position.

You were in a crouched position now, slowly rising up so gather as much strength as possible. There was a small pipe just out of your reach so you carefully leaned over to grab it. Your plan was to kick the agent from behind and knock him out. Though he wasn’t looking at you, you could tell Bucky was pleading that you put the pipe down and be quiet to avoid getting hurt.

“Nice try, Soldat. Do you think you’re being subtle?” The agent let out a hearty fake laugh. “It’s so obvious. if you touch her I swear!” He mocked Bucky’s words from earlier.

“Go fuck yourself-”

“Maybe I’ll fuck her instead, raise the stakes a little would you like that?” There was no laugh or sarcasm in his tone, you froze in slight fear and so did Bucky. You stared at him as he was fighting back from trying to escape and kill him before he could say another word. You were fully stood, creeping over behind him ready to take your swing.

“What do you say soldier? If I’m feeling nice maybe I’ll let you watch”

“Shut the fuck up you sick bastard!” Bucky screamed in his face while he rattled his cuffs.

“Let’s consult the little lady-” Before he could fully turn around you kicked him at the back of his knee and swung the pipe against his face, but he dodged the swing and the pipe clattered as it hit the floor, he threw a quick right hook that he narrowly missed. You used the strength you had to kick him into a set of shelves at the side of the room. That was your mistake.

“James!-”

“(Y/N) just go get help I’ll be fine!” He wanted you out of there so you could have a chance to find the others and save yourself. There was a clatter upon the agent hitting the shelves, followed by a heavy thud on the ground but you hadn’t had time to register it.

You bent down to quickly grab the pipe but as you lifted your head back up to speak to Bucky, the agent grabbed the object that made the thud, a bowling ball, and ran at you. He smashed the ball against your face and you were blindsided. All you could feel in that moment was pain.

Before you could really process what just happened you fell to the ground, hearing the faded screams of your boyfriend as you fell.

“(Y/N)? (YN)!” He screamed your name until his voice was hoarse.

You were writhing in pain on the floor, your face streaming blood from your nose that broke on impact. You could barely breathe so you let out labored breaths and groans. You could see Bucky across from you but he was blurry He tiresomely pulled at his restraints, desperately trying to help you but he was powerless. He sank to the ground shouting, trying to meet your eyes but the damage was already done to your head and you couldn’t see right.

“Tsk tsk, what a silly decision that was, (Y/N)” Agent Roman was standing above you while you wriggled on your side, bowling ball still in his hand. You knew he was talking but you couldn’t hear a word he was saying. Blood dripped from your nose and your now split lip. The blood mixed with spit as your mouth lay slack and the only audible sound you had the strength to make was raspy gasps of agony.

You tried to pull yourself up but a swift kick to the stomach knocked you onto your back and the agent cocked his head.

“I’ll do whatever the fuck you want please ju-just leave her alone!” Bucky tripped over his words begging for your life, he kept all composure and fought against the sharp tip of a dagger but seeing you in harms way threw all his reserve out the window.

“I want the Winter Soldier!” The agent screamed, slowly raising his arm to hold the bowling ball above your chest. He turned his head to Bucky, waiting for him to give him what he wants and return to HYDRA. Bucky opened his mouth to speak but hesitated for a second. In that moment of silence no words left Bucky’s mouth. The room was quiet except for the sharp inhale of agent Roman, the panting from Bucky who looked down at your squirming body on the floor

Agent Roman was done with the games, he took Bucky’s hesitation and decided that the only way to get what he wanted was to take it by force, and eliminate the reason for his hesitation.

He let the ball go and stepped away to retrieve the knife that was knocked out of his hand. The ball collided with the bone of your ribs and you screamed out weakly in pain. You’re whole body was on fire as the intense pain of your broken nose spread throughout your torso. You tried to speak, to get any words out but the words never found your tongue. Your face was a burning hot red, tears blazing a path of fire as they rolled down your cheeks and into the cold basement floor.

You turned your head to the side, meeting Bucky’s eyes to silently plead for help, again you tried to speak but a long line of more spit and flood dripped onto the floor, this time the blood coming from the inside.

Agent Roman held the knife in his hand holding it to Bucky's throat.

“You have 2 options, Soldier. Come with me, or death.”

“I’d rather die” Bucky spat back with as much anger his body could hold, still trying and failing to fight off the tears.

The agent walked over to you for the final time. He crouched beside you and focably gripped your chin, tilting your head in line with your body, holding you tightly so you couldn’t move. After a few seconds the blood from your insides began to pool at the back of your throat, you tried to move your head to the side but it was held firmly in place. Agent Roman slowly peered up at Bucky as you began to choke on the blood, and he flashed a sinister smile.

“I never said your death did I, soldier?”

Bucky went back to screaming and pulling at the cuffs until his wrists were raw. The agent only laughed at every attempt you made to pull his hand off your chin.

“Buck-Bucky” You choked out his name along with spurts of blood, you couldn’t manage another word but you wanted to tell him that you loved him. The blood streamed down your cheeks as your body began to thrash and jerk, unable to catch your breath you were certain you were about to meet your end.

Bucky used every bit of rage he could find, and he finally pereserveered, just as you were close to blacking out he broke the pillar he was attached too, his hands were still cuffed but the second he broke free he charged at the agent, knocking them both away from you.

You were still hazy but managed to roll onto your stomach, letting the blood pool under you. The sounds of clattering junk and grunts was the last thing you heard as the injuries took over your body, you tried to stay awake but blacked out.

“(Y/N) just hold on alright!” Bucky shouted back to you, not noticing that you were no longer conscious. Your head was lying in the growing pool of blood. He managed to headbut the agent and knocked him out cold, he searched for the keys to undo the cuffs and found them in the drawer where the agents knife was being kept.

“You’re gonna be alright, (Y/N), Tony should’ve tracked us by now.”

And he did, the tracking devices located in the comms earpieces had picked up your location, and help was already on the way.

#whump #whump fic #whumpfic #buckybarnes #buckyxreader #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #whump community #whumpee #whump blog

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May I present to you, Steven “Fix my outfit mid-fight” Grant.

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Ropes

Deprivation

Physical torture

Beatings

Caretaker turned whumpee

Hurt

Starvation

Defiant whumpee

Gagged

Collared

Successful rescue

Vampire whump

Hidden injury

Blood

Torture

Multiple whumpers

-neither-

Wings

Hypothermia (my favourite!

This or That - Whump Edition

Tagging:

#whump #whump stuff #whump things #whump scenarios #whumpee #whump tropes #whumper

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Whump trope #2

Imagine that Whumpee and Caretaker have been captured and are being held in the basement of an abandoned cluttered cabin in the woods by whumper.

Caretaker has been handcuffed to a pipe and is unable to move as whumpee is lying in the middle of the room barely conscious and covered in blood. Whumper stands over whumpee who is struggling to breathe on the floor as Caretaker screams behind them to stop.

The whumper stops and walks over to caretaker who is crying and screaming to leave Whumpee alone. While Whumper is distracted Whumpee manages to find some strength to attack whumper from behind. But this is a basement filled with various items like old sports equipment.

Whumper, knowing exactly where and what to gra, dodges the attack and grabbed a bowling ball off a shelf and spins to hit Whumpee in the head with it. Whumpee is stunned as they hit the floor, nose broken and winded.

Both the Whumpee and Caretaker scream, both in anger and pain. Whumper stands above Whumpee’s form, who is writhing in pain, holds up the bowling ball higher than their head and drops it on their chest. Whumpee’s ribs are broken and shortly after they pass out from the pain.

#whump scenario #whump tropes #whump drabble #whump community #whump blog #whump prompt #whump ideas #whump fic

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#Watching for the plot.

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#God, I’m not your strongest soldier

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||WHERE ARE YOU?|| Bucky x F! Reader WHUMP

Inspired by my own whump prompt that you can read here

Summary- You are captured on a mission by a HYDRA agent from Bucky’s past, a dangerous man with a thirst to inflict pain. You are tied to a tree miles out where anyone could find you, forced to face the harsh elements and no food or water. It’s days before the team find you, and when they do you are weak, severely sun burnt and freezing cold.

WARNINGS- whumpee reader, caretaker Bucky, reader is tied and gagged to a tree and left for days, reader suffers from sunburn, sunstroke & almost hypothermia, stab wounds,VERY VERY BRIEF MENTIONS OF IMPLIED SEXUAL TORTURE BUT NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS

“Bucky she’s not here”

Steve sighed out in frustration as he looked at his friend. You had been missing and presumed captured on your last mission 5 days ago. You had gotten cocky and went after a HYDRA Agent who was closely involved in The Winter Soldier Program. Before the mission everyone could see how unnerved Bucky was, but he insisted on coming because he knew what the agent was capable of doing.

One second you were there, the next you were gone from Bucky’s sight without a trace. There were too many agents and the team were forced to retreat, much to Bucky’s pleas for them to stay.

It had been days. Your tracker was knocked off during the fight but it was the only lead the team had, according to the tracker you were still in the building. Tony received word from SHIELD that the base they stormed had began to evacuate. They had to move now or risk loosing you forever.

“Yes she is, Steve” Bucky said through gritted teeth, he doesn’t know if he believes his own words but he can’t bring himself to think otherwise. He and Steve stood in a room full of unconscious agents, each one were questioned on your whereabouts, and the agent who took you. You were both gone, which Bucky knew meant only one thing, that you weren’t going to survive much longer.

5 days ago

You were stood by Bucky’s side against a wall, waiting for the right moment to strike the room full of agents ahead. You looked up at him, he was focused but you could see the deeper fear that resided in his eyes. The night before he told you about the horrors he seen at his time at HYDRA, the torture this specific agent, Agent Henry Cassidy, had committed. Bucky has never told you what he himself had suffered, and he swore he never would, but he made it clear that this agent had done despicable things to him. He did not want to see this mans face again.

“James, it’ll be okay, we’ll find him and bring him in” You whispered, putting a hand on his upper arm.

He gulped and nodded, he couldn’t find the words to speak.

When you finally struck it became a struggle, fighting every agent who came your way. Dodging punches and bullets was no easy task, even for an Avenger like you. You had taken care of most of them, while Bucky was fending off the remaining four. You were ready to rush in and help him but a clatter in the opposite direction caught your attention. It was Agent Cassidy. He had slipped into the room, presumably to surprise attack his former victim but as soon as he was noticed he took of running.

You looked back at James who had 2 men left to take down, he caught your eye and new exactly what you were about to do.

“Y/N don’t you dare!” Before he could finish you were sprinting to catch the agent. Your mission was to capture him for questioning then release him to SHEILD’s custody so he could no longer cause anymore harm. You were alone running down the corridor, Bucky’s shouting getting fainter the further away you got.

You stopped for only a second, but that second allowed him to get the jump on you. Before you could register what was happening you were unconscious.

“Any luck?” Tony’s voice rang through the comms, hoping that they had found you yet. Both men winced at Tony’s words. No one had found you.

“Check the perimeter”

“We have Bucky-”

“-Well then check again!” Bucky’s words cut through Tony’s, but he agreed to check again.

Bucky placed both hands on his head and trembled, trying his best not to burst in anger. You were here, you had to be.

4 Days ago

Bright light from the setting sun blinded you as you attempted to open your eyes. Waking from unconsciousness you found yourself tied with thick rope to the shaft of a thick tree. You had been gagged with thick silver duct tape that was wrapped several times around your mouth. Realizing your predicament you began to shout and thrash, but no luck. The rope was tightly secured from your chest to ankles, keeping you firmly stuck against the tree.

A sinister laugh brought your thrashing to a halt. Squinting ahead you saw the figure who put you here, Agent Cassidy.

“Struggling is useless, Y/N.” He laughed again. Bucky had no idea that his worst nightmare was playing out at the same time he was begging Steve not to leave without you. You were miles outside the base, further than the team would think to look, just like Agent Cassidy had planned.

You huffed and whined through the tape in anger. A million thoughts were running through your head;

What is he gonna do? is Bucky okay? where are the team? Did he hurt Bucky? God what is he going to do?

The sun was setting in the sky and you were tied to a tree miles away from your team...was he going to leave you here?

You looked around in despair, searching for a way out when the agents voice cut in again.

“You look just like how he did when I tortured him for the first time” He waited in silence with a horrible evil grin on his face. You huffed out in anger again, knowing he was talking about Bucky.

“He screamed, he cried, he begged. He begged for the pain to stop while he was strapped down, as a peeled of his fingernails one by one-”

“MMHP!” you tried to scream through the gag for him to stop. You couldn’t take hearing the pain Bucky went through, he never wanted to speak to you about it and as much as you wanted to help him you were happy not to hear about the things he went through.

“You however...” He trailed over to you as he spoke

“will be subjected to a different kind of torture, a method I have been just dying to try out. I didn’t think you’d be in my clutch so soon but you made it so easy to lure you out.”

You were wishing you had listened to Bucky, he knew better than you. He knew immediately that you were being lured out, but was unable to stop you in time from taking the bait.

Tears ran from your eyes, he was now face to face with you, scanning you quietly to think about all the things he could do to you, if only he had the time.

The sun was setting fast and the cold would be taking over the night. He pulled a small knife from his pocket and twirled it in his hand.

“I wish I could witness all this in person for longer, but I can’t risk the Avengers finding me, I have too much work to do. So until they find you-if they find you, you’ll be here tied to this tree fighting the hot sun and the freezing nights. There are cameras hidden in the trees that are connected to the base and my residence, so I can take notes on how effective this torture is, understand?”

You couldn’t help but scowl at the satisfied look on his face, he had lured you into a torture trap and you let him, any one could have seen the bait from miles away. You were so caught up in being the one to catch him so that Bucky could have some peace that you abandoned all protocol and logic and put yourself in this situation.

A car horn beeped in the distance and the agent turned to leave.

“One last thing, hold this for me” Before you could try to respond, the knife in his hand was forcibly driven into your inner thigh. As you screamed out in pain he disappeared into the night, leaving you in the cold with blood streaming down your leg.

For the next 4 days it was you versus nature.

Day 1 you started with little energy, not being able to sleep from the night before due to the discomfort of the rope, gag, and knife that was still firmly in your leg.

Day 2, an unforgiving sun and unforgiving heat. Winter was still here but spring was approaching. The sun wouldn't have been such a big issue had you been at the other side of the tree, but you felt it was deliberate to have you in direct sunlight. With no clouds and no coverage, the sun was focused on your face and neck, you couldn’t see your reflection but as the day progressed you were being left with serious sunburn, and sunstroke developed. By night the sunstroke kicked in and you were getting weaker. With no food or water and your mouth still taped shut it was beginning to dawn on you that the Avengers weren’t going to find you as soon as you hoped.

Day 3, you had passed out during the night and woke up to heavy rainfall and wind. You were feeling the affects of hunger and thirst, frustrated that you couldn’t try to catch the rain drops on your tongue. The wind was irritating the dagger in your leg and you hoped it might be knocked out if you tried to move it, but to no avail. The rain stopped in the afternoon, you were completely soaked and starting to freeze as the wind battered your skin. You were beginning to loose the little strength you had left as you could no longer feel your hands. The night of the third day was the worst of it, still ill from the sun you were struggling not to throw up, but couldn’t expel it due to the tape. The wound in your leg had become infected without you noticing, and you were nauseated from the pain of hunger in your stomach. 3 days tied to a tree in the woods, you were cursing out your team for not finding you yet, you were cursing out yourself for being so incredibly stupid.

You wondered where the cameras were, you wondered where that bastard was and if he was watching every minute of your struggle.

At the same time, on the third night Bucky was pacing around the living quarters of the tower, while Bruce was attempting to calm him down. The search never stopped but it was too dangerous to return to the base, which Bucky exploded with anger when Natasha said that to him. He wasn’t listening to anyone, only listening to the terrible thoughts in his head.

The only thing Bucky was thinking about was how sick and twisted his mind was. Bucky failed to mention how much pleasure Agent Cassidy got out of torture. He never wanted to tell the team but Cassidy was driven by a pure sexual desire, he got off on the torture and pain of others, especially when he was the cause of it. He was pacing in fear knowing this information, fearing what things Y/N could be subjected to at this very moment. The team knew something deeper was wrong with Bucky, but Steve urged them not to push him for more information. All they knew is that this agent was good at torturing his victims, and that he enjoyed doing it.

Day 4

You had passed out during the night loaded with a fever, you were too weak to stay awake and hold your head up any longer. You were struggling to breathe through your nose because you began to panic that you would die out here if no one found you. It was in that panic your head felt light and you were out. The sun was just rising, and unbeknownst to you, Bucky and the team had come back and were only miles away.

Bucky and Steve had left the room of unconscious agents and ran to every room in the base, screaming your name until their throats were raw, until Clint’s voice rang through the empty base speakers.

“Guys I have good news and bad news. Good news I found the control room cameras, bad news she’s not on any of them.” Clint and Wanda had found the control room filled with security camera’s but most of them had been smashed or damaged.

Bucky had reached the control room while Steve split up to find Tony outside to continue the search. He was loosing all hope, he merely sat down in the middle of the floor and wrung his hands.

“I don’t recognize that location.” Wanda pointed to the the small cluster of trees on screen.

Bucky looked up and observed, still saying nothing. Clint squinted at the trees.

“If it’s on the cameras then it must be close right? maybe it’s a few miles further out”

Wanda and Clint turned to look at Bucky who had turned his head to the side as if he was figuring something out. He stood up suddenly and walked over to the camera.

“What are you doung there, Buck?” Clint questioned.

“I’m turning the sound on” Bucky replied in a grumble.

“Security Cameras don’t have sound-”

“-These ones do!” Bucky shouted back at him. After fiddling with buttons on the back of the monitor showing the trees, the light whistling wind picked up. Wanda and Clint looked at each other and back at their slightly unstable teammate, unsure what his plan was.

Bucky held his finger to the comms system,

“Everyone be on standby, I have a plan”

“Copy that” Steve’s voice came strong through.

Bucky searched his pockets for his phone and the plan became clear. he had no idea what he would do if this didn’t work, this was the last shot he had.

He opened his phone and clicked on your number, everyone was silent...

A faint ringing came through the screen, Wanda held her hand over her mouth, Clint sighed and Bucky let out a cry of relief. He informed the team to fly out as far as possible until they reach the end of the woods then start working inwards, Tony took the North, Wanda the East, Thor took off west, while Wanda flew south with Bucky and Steve in a HYDRA jeep they found just outside the base. Bucky was behind the wheel driving at a furious speed.

“I found her!” Wanda’s voice echoed through the sky, Bucky finally reached Wanda who could only stare at the state her friend was in.

“Y/N!” Bucky had never shouted so loud in his life, he ran towards her, mind completely blank as his legs carried him to his injured lover. Steve stood behind them to talk through the comms telling the team to get the Quinnjet ready, and to contact Doctor Cho immediately. Bucky took a small blade from his pocket and slowly cut the tape around your head, carefully peeling it off as gently as he could to avoid hurting you any more. He went to cut the rope as quickly as he could before Wanda stopped him.

“She’s injured, she’ll collapse as soon as the rope is cut. Hold her up, Steve will cut it and I’ll get Tony to read her condition.” She flew off to find Tony and Jarvis to help. Steve noticed the knife in your thigh and carefully pulled it out so when you fall it doesn’t cause more damage.

“It’s infected.” Steve spoke and Bucky nodded.

Bucky put both his hands on your face and gently tilted your head up, now seeing the burns on your face and the paleness of the rest of your skin.

“Shit” Bucky inhaled under his breath as Steve came to see the damage. He held it together to keep Bucky calm, but he was just as distressed to see his teammate and friend in such condition.

“She’s gonna be okay Buck, get ready I’m cutting the ropes”

Steve cut through the ropes, careful not to cut them all at once to avoid giving you a fright. Your body was finally free and you fell into Buckys arms, he lay you down on the ground with your head in his lap to take the strain off your neck.

“Y/N, c’mon wake up” Bucky repeated, lightly tapping on your cheek to try get your attention. He placed his hands lovingly on your cheeks and put his forehead against yours.

“James?” You spoke out softly, the words came out as barely a whisper. You didn’t have the strength to open your eyes but you knew the touch of your boyfriend anywhere. He smiled and lifted you up slowly, carrying you in his arms to place you in the backseat of the jeep.

Consciousness was beginning to fade again, but with the little strength you had left you reached your arm out to grab Bucky before he pulled away.

“He can see-see us, Buck” You struggled to breathe let alone speak, before you could see his reaction you had promptly passed out again. The cameras had not been spotted by him or Steve, but agent Cassidy had a full view of your torment, and now he could see just how much The Winter Soldier cared for you...Now he had a plan to bring The Winter Soldier back

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