I want to rip my own throat out (^_^)

There is a dull aching in my bone, and i can't get rid of it, and it makes me want to rip my skin from my muscles and then my muscles from my bones then break every sing one of my bone then Set the in the correct place and put my muscles and skin back to feel normal ＼(^^)／

If you noticed any mistakes in my last posts fuck you no you didn't

Oh shit I just realized that the reason I was watching that video was because I wanted to watch a different video but I wouldn't get the full experience if I didn't watch that video then I forgot to watch the next video and started to draw then got distracted from that and I went to Pintrest and now I'm here what is my life

I was drawing superheros because I was watching someone draw superheros and then went I want to do that so I did and it was turning out great and then I didn't know how to design one of the solution I went to Pintrest to get ideas and I was looking then I noticed something funny and now it's been an hour and I still haven't found a good reference

I'm still alive not willingly but I am also I need to eat soon I should get on that

Lovejoy music is top tier

I'm scared

Wait hold one I think my dad's home or someone just broke into my house

I think my parents preconditioned me to have anxiety like why did they tell me every time I wanted to go outside alone I was going to get kidnapped like what??? Why would you say that to me at like when I was like 7???? Also they left me and my siblings alone al the time and I now have a fear of abandonment???? Like lol what?? Why did you do this to me? I think mental illness runs in my family but like no one got diagnose with it

I think I've been abandoned by my family it fucking midnight and no one else but me is home right now I'm so fucking scared

Damn I wanted to post more but I forgot no thoughts right now though

I want to shit post but every time I want to post anywhere, I feel like people will judge me so I don't post then I feel bad that I didn't post and worry about that and forget to eat which causes me to start worrying about the fact I didn't eat which then get me onto the subject of my body weight and then it's 5pm and I haven't eaten nor gotten anything done I I feel bad agai