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A Heartrender's Fire: ch. IV

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc

Words: 5205 Warnings: vasily lantsov, misogyny (mentioned), someone gets a hit to the head a couple of times, anxiety? i guess, david, netflix's poor pacing choices (what even is neshyenyer), made up ravkan A/N: and off we go! why on earth are these chapters so long like wtf am i writing💀 anyways, i think i suck at writing slowburn? or romance in general

Series Masterlist Previous chapter

IV: Every Monstrous Thing

“Why must you always play the diplomat, Nikolai?” Vasily spoke with disgust in his voice. “Grisha dining beside true Ravkan soldiers is a bit much for all our stomachs.”

“Wow, Vasily, I almost forgot how annoying your voice is,” Irina rolled her eyes.

“Really? I could never forget how stupidly insufferable you still are, dear sister,” he counter-attacked.

“Shut it, you two,” their Queen mother commanded lowly, smiling again for her fellow court members.

The lines on her face were a lot more prominent after Genya’s departure, and Irina almost frowned at the sight of her mother, looking old and frail. She had always known the constant alterations were only physical, but the Queen of Ravka had always made sure nobody would see her look anything other than perfect.

“We are all Ravkan here,” Alina spoke after a few seconds of silence, also wanting to defend herself against the heir to the throne.

The Sun Summoner sat next to Irina at the end of the table, the odd one out in the picture-perfect royal family. Nikolai and Irina had changed into proper garments as soon as they had arrived at the Spinning Wheel per their mother’s request, and seeing each other dressed in something other than their usual attire at sea was beyond baffling. It had been too long, and although both of them automatically knew how to behave as princes, Irina particularly felt she was playing a character.

“Doesn’t need to be us versus them,” Nikolai added, looking for conciliation.

“General Kirigan should’ve thought of that before he tried to murder my father and stage a coup,” he looked at the King, whose poor wealth was becoming more apparent with every passing second.

Nikolai and Irina shared a glance at their older brother’s words, never missing the double meaning Vasily always added when he spoke of his birthright. The King was leaning on his chair, barely touching his food, with his gaze lost somewhere in front of him. Irina almost felt bad for the man, yet he had barely shown any interest or affection in either of his lesser kids when they still lived in Os Alta. Deep down, he knew too.

“That said, absent their Darkling, the Grisha are rather easy to manage.”

“By ‘manage,’ do you mean ‘execute,’ moi tsarevich?” Alina asked with a fierce smile.

Irina repressed a smile, glad she had yet another person supporting her hatred for her older brother sitting next to her at the table.

“That fate is reserved for traitors to the Crown, Miss Starkov.”

“If the Second Army requires a leader loyal to the Crown to assure their fealty, then I will lead them.”

Irina gripped her goblet, suddenly interested in the dark and luxurious wine that she had been unwillingly drinking for the past hour. She certainly preferred the cheapest options in beverages, because those belonged at sea with Sturmhond and Ainthe.

Vasily laughed audibly, looking at their mother before turning again to face the Sun Summoner. “Why should I believe you have any loyalty to my family?”

Irina was already taking a big gulp of her drink when Nikolai stood up, his loud voice taking up the entire chapel they were having dinner at.

“Today marks the start of a new era of cooperation between Lantsovs and the Grisha,” silence filled the room as they stared at the second son, wondering. “I’m delighted to announce my engagement to Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner and new leader of the Second Army. Together, we will build a better future for Ravka,” he concluded.

Irina quickly surveyed the room. All Grisha cheered, edged on by the twins presiding the table to the left. The rest of the court and soldiers weren’t as buoyant. They shared worried looks, some of them shaking their heads in disbelief, others frowning deeply, staring at the King and Vasily for guidance they wouldn’t ever get. Irina tried to remain impassive, showing no emotion. Princesses didn’t get to care about politics, according to her mother. That was only reserved for the King.

Nikolai sat down, yet his hand shook a little, drops spilling off his own goblet as he put it back down on the table.

“That was a bit much,” Alina commented, hiding behind her goblet. Her eyes were fixed on Mal, whose head had dropped in defeat.

“Understatement is overrated.”

Vasily didn’t take long to leave, either. His chair made a profound squeaking noise against the marble as he pushed his chair away, his meal forgotten.

“Thank Saints he’s gone,” Irina smiled, taking a big bite of her meal with a happy smirk, more animated than she had been since she had stepped foot into the dining room.

“Are you sure about this, Sobachka?” the Queen spoke to her son, her daughter forgotten. As usual. “I understand the political alignment, but is this what’s best for your long-term positioning?”

“This is what’s best for me and for Ravka, Madraya. Your other son is working hard to send this country into civil war. I aim to stand in his way,” Nikolai responded.

His mother sighed. “It’s best I’d better plan some sort of official celebration.”

“Now’s not the time for parties.”

“Back straight, shoulders back, elbows down. Smile,” Irina whispered to Alina, trying to fix the Sun Summoner’s posture. “If you’re about to become a princess, you need to start behaving like one.”

“You know I don’t plan on that,” she frowned, yet she followed the princess’s orders. Her attempt was almost comical with how she had been sitting before Irina’s comment, but she had to give it to Alina. It wasn’t easy pretending to be graceful and poised when all you would rather do was run free in the wild.

“I know. But they don’t,” Irina discreetly motioned to the people before them, soldiers from their royal guard, court members, and Grisha alike, staring at her with newfound expressions. “As long as you play the part, they’ll follow you.” She took another glance at her mother. “You want to be in her favor, too, at least for now.”

Both girls looked at the blonde woman, who, at the same time, was already setting the details for whatever celebration she wanted to throw in honor of her youngest son’s engagement.

“I’ll have my seamstress run you up something appropriate.”

Alina only smiled at her, taking another gulp.

Irina wanted to laugh, or cry, or both. When had life become so complicated?

–·–

“Sometimes I wonder,” Irina took a breath. “What would have happened if I had come clean since the start? Would Ravka be any different? A Grisha princess… maybe we wouldn’t be here now.”

Irina looked around, making sure to speak in hushed voices. Nikolai walked beside her, occasionally smiling at the many refugees that littered the Spinning Wheel. Tolya trailed after them, always vigilant, no doubt listening to their conversation, yet Irina didn’t mind. Tolya could always have access to the deepest parts of her soul, and she’d gladly allow him in every time. Nikolai had ordered Tamar to guard Alina while she remained under the Crown’s protection, knowing even in his own house she wouldn’t always be safe. Tolya, instead, guarded the siblings, becoming a safe shadow in every corner. Even though Irina hated having a bodyguard, she was glad it was Tolya trailing after her. She wouldn’t have felt safer had it been someone else.

“You know pretty damn well what would’ve happened, Irina. You would’ve become yet another pawn on Kirigan’s plan.”

“Would I?”

“Just think. The leader of the Second Army, betrothed to the princess of Ravka. It would only take him five seconds to get rid of his competition and sit himself on the throne.”

The girl frowned, stopping dead in her trail. “Is there any scenario where I don’t become a bargaining chip?”

Nikolai grimaced but didn’t need to say further. They both knew what the future for a princess always held, no matter the circumstances.

Her brother looked at her, almost pleading. “You would’ve left eventually, Irina. I know that. I know you. You were never meant to spend your days locked away in a palace.”

“Neither were you.” She jokingly punched his arm, eliciting a smirk from the prince.

“That’s why we have Vasily for,” Nikolai laughed.

“Thankfully.”

Nikolai smiled at two Summoners who bowed as they walked by them, and Irina stared after them longingly. Many Etherealki still wore their blue keftas, even though most of them rejected General Kirigan’s old status quo. Irina could understand them, anyway, wanting to at least feel like they had a place to belong. Wearing their keftas was the only thing tying most of them to their past –a past that had yet to be tarnished by civil wars.

“You know, blue doesn’t suit you,” Nikolai commented, quickly piecing the puzzle together after seeing what her sister had been staring at.

“Gold doesn’t either.”

Her golden apparel mirrored her brother’s. Both of them the vivid images of the golden Ravka. Even if there wasn’t anything left of it.

“I’d much rather see you in red.”

Irina and Nikolai had hidden their jackets, erasing any trace of Ainthe and Sturmhond. Nobody but them, save for the Heartrender twins and now Alina and Mal knew of their identities. Irina knew the day of the reveal was coming closer at a fast rate, but she wanted to hold on longer to her fiery red garment, a gift Sturmhond had gotten her after she joined his crew. It was only fit that his second-in-command would wear clothes worthy of a ship captain –especially if said captain could summon fire with just a thought.

Irina smiled a pained smirk. “You and me both.”

“When all of this is over, we’ll go back home. To the Volkvolny. To sea.”

The princess shook her head. “What about Alina?”

“What about her?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You like her.”

“And she likes Mal.”

“Besides,” she insisted. “We both know things are about to change forever. Doesn’t matter how much we want to go back, maybe we never will.”

They both frowned at the reality they had desperately tried not to think about. They both felt it deep in their souls –there was no turning back from this.

“Moi tsarevich!”

Both siblings turned their heads at the sight of Mal running after them, his eyes wild and angry. Tolya stood straighter despite Mal having proven over and over only to be loyal to his Saint.

“What’s wrong?” Nikolai asked, frowning.

“You better come see this.”

–·–

“David.”

Alina’s murderous glance was enough to make Irina shiver. Hers wasn’t the look of a powerful Grisha; hers were the eyes of utter betrayal. She arrived shortly with Tamar and Nadia, the Squaller that had welcomed her at the Spinning Wheel. Nikolai’s petite commitée had gathered at the same war room they had improvised the day before, only this time, David Kostyk, trusted Fabrikator back at the Darkling’s Little Palace, was pathetically standing by the center of the room, with both hands separated to prevent him from using the Small Science.

David awkwardly waved at the mention of his name, his eyes perking up slightly after seeing Alina.

“Oh, so you do know him,” Nikolai groaned, walking forward to stand next to Alina, which only angered Mal more. “He claims to have escaped from a very alive General Kirigan.”

If the situation wasn’t dire enough, Irina would have laughed. David was tall, yet Tolya, taller and bigger, seemed to loom over him completely. The princess was aware of the many separations the Grisha bore back at the Little Palace, yet she couldn’t understand how the Fabrikator before her could hold such power to attract the Darkling. Yet, she was one to talk. She had practically hidden herself away since she was born only to not give away her own strength. After Alina, the Stag, and the Sea Whip, Irina Lantsov was starting to believe anything could be possible.

“He gave himself up without a struggle. We found this on him,” Nikolai gave the crumpled diary to Alina. “He says it’s one of Morozova’s journals.” He turned back to David, speaking in a louder, boastful voice. “I, for one, am dying to know more, but he insisted he speak with you.”

“Alina,” David tried, yet Tolya’s firm hand on his chest prevented David from walking any further. The Heartrender didn’t even look at him, yet David recoiled, defeated, ready to fight his case.

Irina felt almost ashamed at how Tolya’s action had her warm up. He sat casually on the railing, almost bored, knowing he could take down the Fabrikator before the slimmer man even thought about it, should it be necessary. Irina was having a really hard time not to smile. She knew the Heartrender could be deadly, yet he barely chose violence if he could help it. But his appearance told otherwise, and that was enough for any enemy to think twice before attacking the half-Shu.

“I know I wronged you,” David began. “Please believe I regret my role in that deeply. I know you have reason to distrust me, but I have no loyalty to General Kirigan.”

“He survived the Volcra?” Alina asked.

“I’m afraid so. He also knows that you survived and that you’re in East Ravka.”

Mal intervened. “Tell us where he is.”

“No, no, no,” David shook his head. “Mm-mm, that would be a very bad idea–”

“You can’t expect us to trust you unless you’re willing to share information,” Alina pressed on.

Tolya readjusted on his seat, noticing the tension rise in the room. He discreetly looked at his sister, standing a little too close to Nadia. He saw Nikolai, standing in between Alina and Mal. And he stared at Irina, standing by herself, with squinted eyes and trembling hands.

“Confronting him would be suicide.” David sighed again, looking at every single person before finally giving in. “Kirigan used merzost to create something in the Fold. Creatures that do his bidding, the size of two men.” It was comical the way David moved his hands, trying to get his point across. “Formed of pure shadow. They have no breath to take, no heart to stop, no blood to drain. Yet they live.”

Irina felt her own heartbeat pick up at the thought of such monsters. She had only very recently come to terms with the fact that a living Saint was standing and breathing next to her, and now these creatures were freely roaming her homeland. That was a lot for the young princess to take.

“They live and they kill. They are nichevo’ya. Nothing. Bullets, blades, fire, all simply pass through. And they walk freely in sunlight.”

Everybody looked at David in silence, wrapping their heads around his words. Irina tried to share a look with her brother, as they usually did in every meeting back at the Volkvolny, but the blond prince was looking at Alina. The sudden lack of fraternal comfort only came with another wave of nervousness. The room suddenly seemed darker, colder, and heavier, and the many candles that surrounded the group weren’t enough for Irina’s mind. Despite the light that came from the skylight at the dome of the chapel, darkness seemed to creep around them at its mere mention.

David finished his deadly blow. “I fear that merzost may be the only way to kill them.”

“So how did you manage to get away?” Mal fired the question everybody was dying to know.

David’s face paled even more, looking Alina straight in the eye. “Genya.”

Even Nikolai and Irina perked up at the mention of their mother’s Tailor. Although Irina hadn’t seen much of her, due to their mother keeping her hidden away for her personal use, she could imagine the hatred she had harbored for her family for years. It made sense that she had worked alongside the Darkling to bring the Royal Family down, and even though Irina wasn’t a fan of them either, save for her older brother, she couldn’t help but feel the twinge of betrayal in her chest.

This time, Nikolai looked at his sister, yet Irina had her gaze lost somewhere in the darkness in front of her, already spiraling into a thousand different thoughts. It didn’t take a genius to recognize the pure terror on the princess’ face.

“We tried to escape together, but… the nichevo’ya. She sacrificed herself to get me out. I don’t know if she survived.”

Tolya then spoke, with one hand discreetly placed before him. “A smart spy will always play the victim.”

Irina didn’t have time to wonder what her friend was doing, for she immediately felt her heart slow. She looked down, unconsciously allowing the contactless source to apply pressure on her chest, effectively breaking her pattern of thoughts as the blood in her system flowed slow and steady, instead of the erratic speed it had just previously harbored.

Breathe. She felt his words inside her skull, almost enough to lull her to sleep. Her eyes unfocused for a second before the girl turned her attention back to the Fabrikator, still feeling the pressure in her chest, only the anxiety had seemed to evaporate with one last breath. Although she hated it when either of the twins used their power on her like that, unprompted and abruptly, she was now grateful that Tolya had seen her despair before it could get worse.

“No, no,” David shook his head.

“You make a valid point, Tolya,” Nikolai picked Tolya up. “As leader of the Second Army, this is your call,” he looked at Alina, who looked back at Nadia.

“You’ve known David the longest. What do you think?”

The Squaller had not stopped looking at David, but she still responded in a whisper. “Kirigan always kept him very close.”

“Take him to a holding cell,” Alina declared, looking at Tolya, whose hand was still aimed at his princess.

The giant nodded, slowly breaking the connection with Irina with a small nod in her direction, and quickly walked away with David, taking all of the tension with them.

–·–

Irina found Tolya a while later right by the small fountain inside the chapel. The dome stood directly above him, showering the room in light, which the Heartrender used to read his poetry. Some of the Grisha around him eyed him warily, almost afraid, and once again, Irina had to laugh. He wasn’t the deadliest person in the room.

She smirked, seeing as he hadn’t heard her coming yet. She tried blending in with the background as much as she could, sneaking up behind him and scaring him as she forcefully gripped his arms. The girl laughed at the little jump the giant did, congratulating herself on scaring the scariest man in the room. Good-natured Tolya didn’t have the heart to tell Irina that he could recognize her presence anywhere, even before she came into the opening.

“Thank you for earlier,” Irina said as she sat down next to him, fixing her attire after taking a big gulp of air to calm down.

Tolya smiled at her. “Anytime. I thought you were going to faint any minute.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Irina thought about it for a second but decided against it. “I’d much rather forget all about it for now. What are you reading?” Although she knew Tolya would eventually ask again, she sighed in relief when she saw him pick his book up again, and open it up.

“Selected poems from Negu Kir-Tizur,” he leaned on the fountain, lowering his arms so Irina could see the poems better.

She frowned. “They’re in Shu.”

“You forget I am half-Shu,” he softly hit her with the book in her head, earning another giggle from her.

“I can’t read Shu, you dumbass” she laughed.

“Oh, I’m sorry, moi tsarevicha, I forgot to speak the language of the Saints,” he mocked her, feeling desperate all of a sudden to hear her laugh once again.

That’s exactly what he got. “Hey, that’s not fair!” she giggled again. “You know I always ask you to teach me and then you never do!”

“It’d take years! I don’t think you’d ever understand the complicated themes of the Shu verse,” he continued his teasing, which Irina adored.

“And why is that?” she crossed her arms, trying not to smile.

“You don’t have the patience for that.”

Irina was about to fight him, but she knew he was right. “Well.”

It was Tolya’s turn to laugh. The melodic sound was carried through the dome with its marble columns, and for a second, Irina thought about how that memory would always haunt her in her mind. How, for a few moments, she wasn’t the princess of a dying nation, but a normal girl, talking to the boy she was desperately trying not to like.

“But… I can translate it for you?” Tolya offered, his fingers skimming through the paper, looking for the one poem he knew his companion would like.

“Please,” Irina smiled innocently, using the book as an excuse to not stare into his eyes.

But their moment didn’t last long, because Malyen Oretsev always seemed to have the most perfect importunate timing.

“I was skimming this again for leads on the Firebird, then I remembered a legend about a sword from Shu Han.” Mal had taken it upon himself to read over and over the Istorii Sankt’ya. He claimed it was only to find another way to help Alina, but Irina knew Mal was looking for a way out in it.

Tolya resumed on turning pages of his poetry book, not yet ready to burst the little bubble Irina and he had accidentally summoned for themselves.

“Neshyenyer. The Relentless Blade.”

“You know of it?”

He shrugged. “Of course I do. It’s a folktale. The Fabrikator Kho created an unkillable army made of cogs and bone–”

“Until the Fabrikator Neyar forged Neshyenyer,” Mal finished for him. He showed Tolya and Irina the paintings in the book, reading the words. “‘When Neyar fought, her blade flashed so brightly that people watching swore she had lightning in her hands.’ A blade so sharp it could cut shadow.”

Tolya chuckled. “It’s a bedtime story. My culture has the best myths.”

Irina slapped him across the head, much in the same way he had done earlier with her, only harder. He could take it.

“Ouch.”

“The Sea Whip was a myth,” said Mal with a smirk at their interaction. “So was the Stag. And they were real. She killed an unkillable army. This could be the weapon we need against Kirigan’s monsters. And this book… says it’s in a temple in Ahmrat Jen.”

“No, I doubt that. The one on display is widely rumored to be fake.”

But that didn’t let Mal down. “Okay, how do we find the real one?”

“Who has the money and means to acquire valuable weapons?”

Mal looked at Irina, but she quickly raised her hands in innocence.

“Wrong sibling.”

–·–

“The blade in Ahmrat Jen is indeed a replica,” Nikolai sighed. He hadn’t left the improvised war room at all, and the exhaustion was evident in his voice. “And the original was stolen long ago. I suspect it’s never left Shu Han. If it turned up in the wider black market, Sturmhond would’ve heard about it.”

“This could be the only weapon able to kill Kirigan’s shadow creatures. We need to find it.”

“It’s a valuable old sword, sure. That doesn’t mean the story behind it is true.”

“Any chance is better than no chance,” Mal argued.

Nikolai grinned. “That’s a very Sturmhond thing to say. Were he here, he would surely commend you.”

“It’s a little bit unsettling how you talk about him like he’s someone else.”

“Get used to it,” Irina commented.

“And he would suggest that our mutual friends in Ketterdam might be the perfect crew for the job.”

“You’re really gonna trust the Crows with this?”

Irina trailed after him, right after they finished their meeting with Tolya and Mal. The giant had volunteered to find it, and rapidly Nikolai had issued a request for a Squaller to join him.

“Not just the Crows. I trust Tolya,” he said as he stepped into his room, turning around to face his sister as she closed the door behind her. “And I trust you.”

Irina froze. “Me?”

“You.”

“You’re sending me away for this?”

Nikolai could argue all he wanted about how he just wanted his best people to get the sword, but Irina knew better.

“Yeah. If anything the Durast said is true, I don’t want you anywhere near Ravka while the Darkling is still alive.”

“That’s not fair. You need every loyal person right here.”

“Irina.”

“Nikolai.”

“I do trust you and Tolya to get the sword. He’ll need an Inferni to cross the Fold, that’s where you come in. And even if this little mission didn’t succeed, I’d still feel better knowing you’re not within the Darkling’s range.”

She shook her head. “Do you think I feel any better knowing I’m leaving you here alone?”

“I’m not alone! I have the Sun Summoner!” He walked to his closet, pulled an army pack from it, and handed it to his sister. “Everything you need is already here. Including your coat.”

She stared at her brother for a few seconds before taking the bag from his hand. “You’re awfully prepared.”

“I always am.”

“Was this your plan since the beginning?”

He shrugged. “I have my own bag, too.”

She shook her head. “And what do I do? Am I supposed to be Irina or Ainthe?”

“Whatever feels right to you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“You’ll know when the moment comes.”

“Nikolai.”

“Irina, do whatever you want. I’m not letting you live in my shadow forever. This is your time to make your own decisions.”

“I want to stay.”

“Except that one,” he tried to smile but failed. He stood before his sister, staring at her as if trying to remember the sight of her. “Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen here, but it doesn’t look good. Should anything happen to me or Vasily, you’ll know what to do. But please, just do me this one favor and step away, at least until we can defeat those shadow creatures. Please.”

It wasn’t like Nikolai Lantsov to beg. Irina knew right then just how much she meant to her brother. He was willing to send her away on a permanent vacation just so she wouldn’t have to face the horrors that roamed freely in Ravka.

You do what you have to do to protect the people you love. But how do I protect you?

But before Irina could ask, Nikolai was already shoving her out of his room.

“Get ready, you leave at three bells.”

The door was closed after her, leaving a confused and quite afraid young girl in an empty hall of the Spinning Wheel.

Almost automatically, Irina simply followed his instructions, changing into her old pirate’s clothes and keeping her mind as empty as possible. She didn’t have time to cry. It wasn’t the first time the girl left on a mission for a few days without her brother, but for some reason, she knew things would be much different once she came back.

Her red coat felt like a second skin on her, and for a split second, she grinned. The blood in her veins and the coat in her arms would always be something she shared with Nikolai.

It didn’t take her long to walk back onto the main entrance, where her small party was waiting, together with Mal and Tamar..

“If anyone can find Neshyenyer, I suspect it’s them,” Mal agreed. “Thick as thieves, those Crows. Clever too. Managed to cross the Fold on some sort of fortified train.”

“Last time I was in Ketterdam, I didn’t get to stop at the Kooperom for an omelet,” Tolya commented out loud.

Tamar groaned. “Oh, so that’s why you volunteered. Without me, who’ll stop you from following your stomach off the edge of a cliff?”

“That’d be me.” Irina stepped into the light, joining their conversation.

Tolya almost broke his neck at the sound of her voice, smiling a wide grin as he got his pistol ready. Tamar’s eyes twinkled at the prospect of her best friend and her brother on a mission together, and she would’ve made another smart remark at that had Zoya Nazyalensky not interrupted them.

“I thought we were leaving at three bells?”

Irina had yet to share a word with the Squaller, but her stiff posture and annoyed voice almost made her roll her eyes. She did recoil at the sight of the princess, but she still looked at Tolya with a questioning glance.

“Tolya’s trying to cram his entire poetry library into his pack,” Tamar smiled at his brother as he gave him his last book, which didn’t fit.

Zoya frowned, disgusted. “Poetry?”

Tolya began. “Long may the night whose dark–”

“No,” Zoya cut him off, making Tamar giggle and Tolya frown. “There’ll be none of that.”

Mal patted him on the back and whispered to the remaining party. “Bring back Neshyenyer for Alina, alright?”

“We will, don’t worry,” Irina said, taking the book from Tolya’s hand and shoving it into her backpack, not missing the appreciative grin the giant sent her way.

The three of them followed Zoya, who had already opened the door to the outside and was walking down the stairs.

“That was from Rabinov’s Cantos. A definitive work.”

Tamar trailed after them. “Yeah, now let’s go over the snacks you’ll bring back from Shu Han…”

“Guys? A word?” Nikolai suddenly called as they were about to exit.

The four of them stood at the entrance, looking at each other with fondness in their hearts.

“Take care of each other. I know I don’t have to worry about you two out there together, but be careful.”

Tolya nodded, with a solemn expression. “I’ll protect her with my life.”

Irina scoffed. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“Good.” Nikolai shook Tolya’s hand decisively, before bringing him closer for a quick hug.

“Your brother’s an idiot.” Irina looked at Tamar, who had watched the interaction with a smirk.

“I know.” She smiled. “Be careful, okay?” Tamar tightly hugged her friend, rubbing her back. “And don’t let Tolya eat all of Shu-Han’s sweets. He’s got to bring some back for me.”

Once they parted, Irina looked again at Nikolai. Whatever emotion wanted to escape through her eyes was quickly repressed, if only for a few seconds until her brother couldn’t see her anymore.

“Say goodbye to Madraya for me?” she offered a weak smile.

Nikolai nodded. “Try not to set anything on fire,” he joked, before crashing into her body and embracing his little sister tightly. “Stay safe.”

“You too,” she whispered as she closed her eyes, her heart cracking slightly at the finality of their words.

“Alright, c’mon, group hug,” Nikolai joked again, and Irina laughed loudly when she felt two pairs of arms embracing them, basking in their warmth for a few seconds before they parted once again. “Come back to us.”

“We will.”

Next chapter

#shadow and bone #tolya yul bataar #tolya yul bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #mal oretsev #the darkling #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #alexander morozova #general kirigan #siege and storm #shadow and bone season 2

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depressedbagpipe · 2 months

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Omg im so glad i found your acc again i remember reading silver and absolutly loving it (still do its deff one of the best narnia of ive ever read) and then losing your acc 😭 im so excited for the rest of gold and i just love your work have a nice day!

omg bestie i’m glad you found me again 💃🏻 i hope you’ll like golden just as much ♥️🫶🏻

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depressedbagpipe · 2 months

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A Heartrender's Fire: ch. III

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc

Words: 5199 Warnings: canon-typical violence and language, volcra, poor descriptions of grisha powers, grisha powers following the show's logic and not the one in the books, me making up names and titles. also justice for kovu cause the guy straight up disappeared mid-episode. also i don't speak ravkan (russian?) so let's pretend i know what I'm doing A/N: this took way too long because i essentially had a surgery performed on me last month and I'm *still* recovering. anyways, this is way too fun to write so don't worry, i am continuing this story. we're getting some backstories here, too, which i think is pretty neat.

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III: Like calls to like

The day woke up cloudy, but the spirits at the Volkvolny were as bright as the Sun Summoner’s light. Sturmhond had been preparing the ship for the trip to the Fold all morning, giving concise directions to the crew. Only a small group would be coming with him and his clients up in the air, and his sister quickly pointed out that she wasn’t staying behind, no matter how much her brother wanted to keep her safe on the ship while he returned to their homeland.

“Anything happens on the Fold, you’ll need me,” she had argued, once again before Tamar and Tolya’s unimpressed faces.

“I have a Sun Summoner now. I think I’ll be fine.”

Ouch, Irina didn’t let the reaction show in her face. Tolya did feel her heart beat just a tad faster, though. Not that he was actively seeking her heartbeat out. He would often find himself listening unconsciously and could distinguish it from miles away. Not even metaphorically.

“It’s my country too, Nikolai. Anything happens on the Fold, you’ll need me,” she repeated.

Sturmhond looked at his sister. Few times she ever addressed him with his name, right in the open, and he realized that no matter how much he wanted to keep his little sister away from danger, she would always find her way to it, face first, full charge.

“Fine,” he sighed. “You’re buying kvas later, though.”

“Deal.”

He still scowled when he took her in, smiling her victorious smile as she high-fived the twins, the three of them chattering amongst themselves as the ship took them closer to the black void that had haunted and fascinated the second prince for so long. Irina was fully aware of the danger, and despite her best efforts, a chill went through her spine at the thought of her first passage through the darkness, afraid, and alone.

I have a Sun Summoner now. Sturmhond could lie to himself all he wanted, but his sister knew he was just as scared as her. Only now they had a living Saint with them, able to wield the power of two amplifiers and the hope of an entire nation.

The Volkvolny sailed through the waves seemingly faster than ever. Irina almost wished the ship would stop and trap them on the sea forever, anything but returning to the one place she had been miserable at. No matter how many dirty taverns, war camps, and smelly docks she stepped on, the image of the Grand Palace was enough to fix a permanent frown on her otherwise peaceful manner.

But she was a big girl now. Whatever was waiting for her on the other side should fear her, too. She was powerful, not as much as Alina, or as intelligent as Nikolai, but she still had royal blood in her veins, which coincidentally pumped enough fire to bring down the whole palace with just a flick of her hand. She felt the warmth on her cheeks at the thought, and with a small smile, she looked up, finding Tolya’s gaze.

The giant was looking at her with an all-knowing grin, which she quickly replicated. He noticed her fingers had been absentmindedly tracing her own amplifier, barely taking it out of her clothes. He had noticed that little quirk of hers after she got it, almost a month into joining them on the crew. A failed smuggling operation on the Fjerdan border ended with Sturmhond almost decapitated by a wolf, and Irina melting the snow around them as she protected him from the pack that was sure to attack. Tolya had known Irina’s heart marched to a different beat than her brother’s, but it was only after seeing the flames around her body that he fully knew what was different about her. He had eyed her closely after that, always finding something new about her to stare at, from the way her eyes seemed to come alive in the sun and radiate warmth in the night. Or how she was grounding herself as her fingers danced down the wolf’s fang as if she too needed a reminder of the fire she carried in her soul. There were many things about Irina Lantsov that could be admired, according to Tolya. Not that he would ever tell her.

Simultaneously, Alina was also stroking her wrists, feeling the amplifiers without looking up. Irina glanced at her, noticing the way her face lit up when Mal approached her again. For a second she longed for it, that love out in the open, despite the dire situation the young couple was in. Their conversation was soon cut short by her brother, perched nearby, waiting for his big entrance as he always did. His voice was loud, demanding, and powerful–everything he had been raised to be.

“Who says you’ll be on your own?” He raised his leg on a box and casually leaned up front. “I want a front-row seat to the light show, thank you very much. Plus, the King’s on the other side of the Fold, ergo, so is my payment.”

“We could definitely use your arsenal,” Mal reckoned.

“Maybe some kind of fortified carriage?” Alina thought.

“Carriage? Land travel is so boring. And that’ll take days!” Sturmhond walked away from them, giving Irina the silent indication she needed to brace herself for takeoff. “Come along! Prepare to decouple!”

Tolya and Tamar quickly jumped to the section, their faces glistening with anticipation.

“Kovu.” Sturmhond nodded at the Squaller behind Alina and Mal. He pulled the lever that engaged the sails. “Secondary mast released!” Kovu shifted the position of the sails so they stood horizontal to the ship, all of it under the astonished eyes of the Sun Summoner. “Engage secondary sail!”

And with another push upwards, the Hummingbird flew out of reach as the rest of the Volkvolny stayed on the water. Alina stumbled over to the wooden bench Irina had fallen asleep just a day prior and looked around in disbelief and fear as the air grew colder and purer the higher they flew in the sky. Tamar chuckled at the girl, enjoying the sight of the Sun Summoner scrambling to stay sitting. Even Irina grinned, feeling somewhat superior for a slight second.

Even the Sun Summoner feels fear.

She couldn’t help but comment. “It’s like watching a newborn discover the world.”

Tolya laughed, who had casually stood beside her, looking at the sea below them and enjoying the sight of the horizon. Irina felt a warmth in her cheeks that she was sure wasn’t because of the chill that settled around the Hummingbird. Instead of looking in Tolya’s direction, she faced her brother, who was also staring at Alina with amusement, only his eyes were kinder and curious, a sight Irina knew too well was only reserved for very few women out there.

Yet Mal was the only one who got her to open her eyes and walk with her to the edge. Mal was the only one she trusted to catch her if she fell. Irina wondered what that would feel like, should the moment come. Who would come to her rescue, not for who she was, but because they cared about her.

Kovu kept working the sails as they rapidly approached Ravkan soil, the sea blending with the land. Irina’s heart drummed in anticipation, looking back as they left the sea behind.

“How are you holding up?” Tolya suddenly spoke. He seemed nearer, their arms barely touching.

“Meh.”

He shook his head, his eyes shifting from the sky to the ground below them. “Why haven’t you told them about you being Grisha?” He lowered his voice. Irina looked around, sighing in relief once she saw her brother keeping his guests entertained. “It’s bound to happen, anyway.”

“And give away the big reveal? No way.” Irina scoffed, looking back at him for a second.

“Don’t be like your brother.” Tolya’s seriousness would’ve caught her off-guard, but she was used to his sudden tone changes.

“I’m not like my brother. In fact, I’m better.”

“Something Sturmhond would say.”

“Something Ainthe would say, too,”

“See?”

“Shut up,” she giggled. He smiled too, missing the sound of her laugh. After the prior day’s events, he wouldn’t admit he would miss her laugh if she was gone. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m so used to hiding amongst Ravkans… I can’t tell how they’ll react.”

“They’re good people.”

“How can you tell?”

“I happen to have a way with hearts.”

“You don’t say.”

“Captain! The Fold’s in sight!” Tamar called, effectively interrupting the banter between the two Grisha.

“Next stop, destiny.”

“For Saint’s sake, Sturmhond,” Irina groaned.

“What? I’m trying to add dramatic effect here.”

“We don’t need it.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“Children.”

–·–

The Hummingbird entered the pit of darkness in complete silence. Thunder rumbled as the flying vessel tore through the barrier, and Irina took one last big gulp of fresh air before her body was completely surrounded by obscurity. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the black, and she released a silent breath, moving her head around as soon as she heard the first creature’s wail in the distance. Kovu kept the flying skiff afloat, his arms tiring but without complaint. Alina stood at the front, arms ready, while Irina gripped the ropes, looking wildly around.

The crew seemed to gather behind Alina, with narrowed eyes, trying to find some hope to hold on to.

“I hate this place,” Mal commented in a low voice.

They all knew they had to be very silent if they wanted to make it out alive.

“Eh, it’s just a bit of pitch black and bloodthirsty monsters,” Sturmhond joked. He ignored the unimpressed faces of his clients and faced his family. “What’s not to love?”

He gladly received in his open palm his firearm which Tamar had thrown at him, never losing his mischievous smirk.

“Seems like a good day to kill some Volcra,” Tamar growled, getting her own weapons ready as well.

Tolya sighed. “I’d much rather a hot bath and a book of sonnets.”

Tamar stared at him in disbelief. Tolya was looking at the darkness with a longing look, picturing himself in the warm water, and Irina had to glance another way just to stop those thoughts from wandering elsewhere. She rolled the sleeves of her red coat up, her hands tense and ready to summon. Should Alina fail, she would become the first line of infantry. Irina stood next to Kovu, guarding the Squaller at the back while the rest of the team remained at the front.

“All good?” she asked the man, noticing the faint line of sweat on his forehead.

“Could be better,” he replied.

Irina sighed. “It won’t take much longer, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

The girl couldn’t say anything else, for she too felt the tension rising with every passing second. She knew it hadn’t been that much time since they entered, but any time spent inside the Fold felt like an eternity.

Alina stood up near the edge, and the light show quickly began. With heavy breathing, the Sun Summoner created a light barrier that first extended around the Hummingbird, and then expanded into the black void. Irina stared around in amazement, a hole opening itself in front of them where the ancient mountains of Tsibeya stood at the horizon, welcoming them home once more. Light and heat overwhelmed Irina as beams of light danced on Alina’s arms.

The barrier only got bigger from then on, and just as they were about to exit on the other side of the hole Alina had opened, things spiraled down. Alina’s light flickered, her arms flailing wild as she tried to call on her power once again, but nothing responded.

“Alina!” Mal kept calling her, but whatever made her stop had also thrown her off on the deck, the protective barrier of light gone with her.

The Volcra didn’t take long. Their growling was near, angry and ferocious, as the last beams of light extinguished around them. The Fold swallowed them whole again, and Sturmhond didn’t waste any time.

“Kovu!” he yelled at the Squaller as he took some steps back. “Get us out!” he stood before his sister, guns ready.

Kovu quickly rearranged the sails, making the ship fly faster at his mercy. Irina’s relief was short-lived, for one of the haunting monsters was now perched right beside them, ready to launch itself at its first victim.

Sturmhond quickly fired his revolver at it, making it stand back. The twins stood at the rear of the ship, the five of them standing in a circle as they protected each other’s backs. With Alina still on the floor and Mal perched over her, they weren’t the primary victims of the giant creatures.

Another one tore the main overhead sail open and landed on the deck right in front of the twins, who quickly got to work to end the monster’s life. The skiff was tilting dangerously, having lost its main support to stay afloat, but Kovu was doing everything in his power to get them out of the Fold on the other side while keeping the Hummingbird in the air. Irina didn’t need to be a genius to know they would not last long.

Sturmhond helped Tolya with a shot to where the Volcra’s heart supposedly was, and the giant quickly cut its head off. Irina assessed the damage, noticing the big hole in the fabric right above her head. She saw Alina finally stand up, still looking out of it, and because Mal only had eyes for her, neither of them saw the monster that was coming at a rapid speed to them.

Alina barely had time to look up before Irina stood protectively over them, firing a big and scathing flare up towards it, almost bursting it into flames as it fell through the void, fire following the Volcra as it sunk deeper into the Fold.

Irina smiled at the sight, her fingers itching for more, standing tall and proud at her own display of power under the stunned faces of Alina and Mal.

“You’re Grisha?”

“No time to explain, Sol Koroleva,” Irina said.

The Hummingbird hit the exit of the Fold with a strong thud, nothing in comparison with their previous smooth entrance. The ship kept descending, gaining speed as it did so. One of the engines didn’t survive the attack, and the smoke was quickly turning into a well-spread fire at the front of the skiff. Irina was almost sent back flying, and would have crashed into the ship’s barrier if it hadn’t been for Tolya’s extended arm, catching her and bringing her closer to him, pinning her to the same rope he was holding on to for dear life as gravity pulled the crew down.

“Kovu, begin descent!” Sturmhond called, balancing on two feet, even though there wasn’t much Kovu could do. “Brace yourselves for landing!”

They were hurtling straight to the ground, and the Squaller could only do so much to prevent them from crashing completely. Everybody was trying to grasp at anything that could keep them up, bracing for the incoming impact. Irina felt helpless once again, but she didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself, because, with another jolt, the Hummingbird finally crashed, sending everybody down on the ground, impacting with the walls as the ship swept along the flat land and continued forward. Tolya kept a hand on the rope and another slithered around Irina’s waist, keeping her in front of her as the ship continued in motion through the meadow. Irina could only count the seconds until the movement stopped, closing her eyes in a silent prayer.

Fortunately for her, it wasn’t long before it did.

Everybody was grunting and breathing heavily. Irina felt the burn on her hand from groping the rope for dear life, but Tolya didn’t take his arm off her.

“Is everyone okay?” Sturmhond asked loudly, quickly getting up.

Irina felt Tolya’s arm tensing slightly before finally releasing her, going to check on his sister who was still panting but seemed otherwise fine.

“You good?” Sturmhond asked Irina, placing a hand on her back as he checked for any injuries on the younger girl.

She nodded. “Yeah. You?”

He nodded too. That was all confirmation they needed before they both jumped over the deck onto solid ground, assessing the damage.

“Another one gone.”

Irina frowned. “This one worked. It was the Volcra.”

“It’s always the Volcra.”

But none of them could even breathe in relief before a bugle blew nearby. A regiment of the First Army had so lovingly decided to welcome them back to their land, with raised firearms ready to shoot at them, and its Colonel walking up front in a menacing stance.

The twins didn’t even shudder at the sight.

“Well, looks like we’re about to enjoy a traditional Ravkan welcome,” Tolya joked.

Irina smiled, feeling the air charging with her brother’s boastful ego, about to make his big entrance. Maybe she was a bit like her brother. Not that she would ever admit that.

“You’ve crossed illegally onto Ravkan soil. Identify yourselves,” the Colonel called.

Sturmhond jumped down, standing in front of his crew with a straight back. He took off his bag, giving it to Tolya. “I’ll handle this.”

Irina stood back, repressing a smile.

“What are you doing?” Alina whispered at him but shut up at the look Irina sent her. She hid back slightly behind Mal, mainly because she was still the country’s number one fugitive.

“Identify yourselves at once or be shot.”

“Have I really changed so much, Raevsky?” Sturmhond, very slowly, started undoing his blue captain coat, leaving behind his fake persona and embracing his birthright before the Colonel’s own eyes. “I know it’s been a number of years, but people swear I remain boyishly handsome.”

He was wearing his First Army uniform underneath, and just as the green attire caught the Colonel’s eyes, he smiled.

“It can’t be.”

Tolya was being used as a coat hanger by that point, with Nikolai Lantsov standing proud and tall, with a devilish grin as he walked closer to the regiment.

“Yes, it is.”

“Moi tsarevich,” Raevsky mumbled before kneeling, the rest of the troop doing the same. “My prince. We’d all but given up hope.”

Nikolai chuckled as he shook the Colonel’s hand. Raevsky didn’t waste any time and turned around, facing his regiment and presenting the prince with a boisterous speech.

“I present Nikolai Lantsov, Major of the 22nd Regiment, Soldier of the King’s Army, Grand Duke of Udova, and Second Son to his Most Royal Majesty, King Pyotr the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne,” the Colonel called.

Irina mouthed the titles as Raevsky went on, and even the twins shared impressed looks at the many names their fearless captain bore.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Mal whispered, both him and Alina frowning.

“Saints.”

Nikolai continued. “And in your own words, as I recall, ‘the greenest and most useless grunt you ever had the misfortune of commanding.’”

“Now, that sounds like you,” Irina spoke out loud, only noticing her mistake when the Colonel’s eyes glanced at her, also opening wide as he kneeled once more.

“Moi tsarevicha.”

The regiment, once again, copied their Colonel, kneeling as she walked closer to her brother, already regretting the attention she was receiving, but knowing the longer she stood without saying a word about her identity, the harder it would get later.

“I, once again, present Irina Lantsov, Grand Duchess of Mydrov, and First Daughter to his Most Royal Majesty, King Pyotr the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne.”

Nikolai chuckled when he noticed his sister's discomfort. “Thought you could get away with it?”

She groaned before motioning the Colonel to stand up. He took a step forward and bent down to kiss her hand, while Irina forced a smile onto her face.

“At your service, Your Highness.”

“We wanted to return sooner, but not without her,” Nikolai looked back at Alina.

Irina grimaced, knowing what was coming.

“May I present my esteemed traveling companion, former cartographer and sometimes Saint, Alina Starkov!” he extended a hand towards her, yet looked back at Raevsky.

His sister shook her head, seeing how Alina was taking fast steps towards her brother. Despite her protectiveness over him, she knew he had it coming.

“Sol Koroleva. We heard you were dead,” Colonel Raevsky spoke with fear evident in his face, but his words died as soon as Alina yelled.

“You lying bastard!”

The punch to Nikolai’s face was met with utmost silence. The sound of betrayal was too loud to say anything else in return.

–·–

“That was fun,” Tamar said as they rode toward the Spinning Wheel.

“It was terrible,” Irina groaned, closing her eyes momentarily.

“You looked so cute there, like all stiff and stuff, and all the soldiers in awe like ‘Saints, the princess’,” Tamar kept going.

“I didn’t know where to look anymore! Everything was so awkward.”

Tolya joined. “Were they curtsying the right way?”

Irina groaned. Tamar laughed.

The twins loved teasing the princess about her royal status every time they were on Ravkan soil. And while Irina pretended she couldn’t stand their banter, she knew she wouldn’t last a day without it.

“How long do you think she’ll be mad at him for?” Tolya wondered.

The three of them looked back at where the Sun Summoner ignored the prince, looking at everything except the blond next to him. The three of them rode at the front, followed a few feet away by Nikolai and Alina, the rear of the party finished by a brooding Mal and a silent Kovu. Alina was still ignoring Nikolai, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t seem to get on her good side.

“No one can stay mad at Nikolai for long, but she seems stubborn enough to try,” Irina commented.

“You know what he’s planning, don’t you?” Tamar said as she looked ahead again, fixing her posture on her horse as she looked around, searching for anything dangerous that could find them on their route.

The princess nodded. “Yup.”

“And she’s not gonna like it.”

“Nope.”

Tamar groaned. “Did he tell you?”

Irina shrugged. “It wasn’t necessary. I always know what he’s thinking. I mean, when you grow up with him, it’s easy to read his mind. Heartrender or not,” she winked at her friend.

“It reminds me of this poem by a Kerch author, about the bond between brothers–” Tolya started, but his sister interrupted him.

“Is he dead?”

Tolya stopped. “Yes?”

Tamar shrugged. “Then I don’t care. I only vibe with the living.”

“In which case, last time on Novyi Zem there was this street artist who…”

The three of them continued with their playful chatter as their party rode on, leaving behind Raevsky’s regiment and the Fold. The Spinning Wheel was already in sight, and Irina felt a shiver set permanently in her bones as she gazed at the fortified mountain. She had spent years sneaking up there with her brother, perfecting her techniques, helping him build the place from the ground just to create something that would somehow resemble her ways. It had been her personal sanctuary once, and it was now full of Grisha displaced by General Kirigan’s torment and greed. Irina wasn’t truly the patriot that her older brother was, she too felt the tug in her heart at the thought of all the families that had suffered at the mercy of a pointless war, and the generations of both Grisha and Otkazat’sya that had been divided by the envy of the few. Her own life had been a constant lie because of it. And she was about to face it all over again, no matter how much she had convinced herself that she wouldn’t ever have to.

Those thoughts lasted long enough to reach the Spinning Wheel. Irina was still frowning as she got off her horse but forced a relaxed grin as soon as her brother appeared next to her.

“Welcome to the Spinning Wheel. My inventions workshop. It’s become something of a refuge for Grisha,” Nikolai spoke, introducing the place to Alina. He made sure to wink at his sister at the last bit of information, which the Sun Summoner clearly caught.

“Is that why you care so much? Because of her?” Alina asked the prince.

He simply shrugged, suddenly not caring about boosting his ego further. He looked at his sister, who was looking at him with a knowing smile.

“She’s my family above all. And as I already told you, you do what you have to do to protect the people you love.”

Irina shook her head, yet warmth spread across her chest. Nikolai finding out about her being able to summon fire had been an accident, much in the same way she found out. They were both playing outside the Grand Palace borders, sneaking around their older brother, their nanny, and the two guards who followed the small party into the outer world, as the princess liked to call it. The storm found them sitting on top of a tree, and suddenly, Vasily and the rest of their chaperones were running towards the palace again, leaving the two lesser children to fend for themselves. Nikolai was gripping Irina’s hand tightly as they made their way down and followed the path they had taken out of the woods when lightning struck a nearby tree and cut it in half. The trunk was about to crush them when the girl raised her hands in a terrified scream, and the next thing she knew, a huge chunk of ash was dissolving into thin air. Nikolai, wide-eyed and drenched, only took his sister’s hand once again and ran with her back to the palace. Without saying a word they sneaked past the guards at the entrance and escorted her to her quarters, helping her dry off. He sat her near her chimney, and with a silent nod, they both agreed no one ever would know about it. When she woke up the next day, Baghra was sitting by the window in her room, looking at the poor unfortunate royal soul with a sad expression on her pale, aging face.

–·–

“We’ve received accounts of First Army units found massacred, here, here, and here,” Nikolai pointed at the map. The improvised war room stood on one of the balconies overlooking the main entrance, and his most trusted advisors –namely, his sister, Alina, and Mal–, looked down as his fingers traced the old ink on the yellowing parchment.

“Too far from the border to be Shu incursions,” Mal commented.

“Or Fjerdan.” Alina kept her hands close to her, her hands almost itching to touch the intricate patterns on the paper, suddenly missing her simple life as a cartographer, before the entire world fell down on her shoulders.

“There’s good evidence that these units were holding Grisha captive. Some reports say soldiers were mutilated. Some… cut in half.”

Alina sighed. “It’s Kirigan, isn’t it.” But she didn’t even have to ask to know the answer.

“We haven’t been able to find his base camp–”

Mal shook his head in disbelief. “There’s no way he survived the Fold.”

“He survived it before,” Alina cut him off. “Besides, he’s the only one who can do the Cut. Baghra, yes, but this is him.”

Irina shuddered at the mention of her old teacher. The only Grisha who knew about her back at Os Alta. The only one who never treated her as a porcelain vase, but instead built her up to become strong and fierce in her abilities. With a frown, the princess realized she had missed the old hag. She could only pray the General had spared her.

“If he’s alive, it’s only a matter of time before word reaches him about your attempt in the Fold,” Nikolai voiced it carefully, but his statement stung Alina.

“‘Attempt,’” she repeated.

“No disrespect meant.”

“No, you’re right. That’s what it was. An attempt,” she still sounded defeated. “You three saw my light. It was… strong and angry and dangerously off-kilter. I can try to master what I have, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough.”

“We need to find the third amplifier,” Mal finished for her.

“The firebird,” Irina spoke, surprise laced in her tongue.

Nikolai stepped away from the table, turning around as if to follow his train of thought, his head orchestrating their next steps as they continued the meeting.

“The more we search for it, we are at the mercy of your protection in this country.”

Alina searched Irina’s eyes, desperate to get her point across. And Irina already knew what her brother was about to say.

“Well, until then, a proposal.” Nikolai turned around. Irina closed her eyes. “We can try to stop this country from falling apart and tell the Fjerdans to shove their bounty up their ass in the process.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Alina asked.

“I bring you under the wing of the Royal Family, our name becomes a shelter to you, and a banner under which we can enact change.”

Mal frowned. “Your name?”

Nikolai nodded. Irina shook her head.

“Wait,” Alina caught on. “This is a ‘proposal’ proposal. You’re suggesting marriage.”

Mal looked ready to throw himself off the balcony at that point, whereas Alina seemed she was going to be sick any second from then on.

“Alina, I’m not proposing a love match. Just a political alliance of Grisha and Otkazat’sya.”

“Well, that’s just what royal marriages are, aren’t they? Strategy,” Mal was looking everywhere but the future royal couple.

“Precisely. Maybe we never get to marriage. An engagement signals a strong commitment to cooperation and it will allow us to enact meaningful change for Grisha and Ravka,” Nikolai explained.

“Don’t you have a Grisha sister, too?”

“Leave my sister out of this, Mal.”

Irina stepped forward. “Mal, I know Nikolai’s plan sounds crazy but it’s our safest bet. Nobody knows about me being a Summoner and the court will not take likely to the revelation. There’s never been a Grisha on the Ravkan throne and I certainly will never be the first one.”

“I’ve seen what you both mean to each other. I understand if you decline, but I hope you weigh the options and consider the benefits,” Nikolai nodded his head in silent farewell, and both royal siblings left the couple to talk it out.

On the way down, Nikolai grabbed her arm. “How long have you known?”

She frowned. “About the proposal? Since you saw her face on the posters.”

It was his turn to frown. “Not even I thought about that then. It was after she got on the ship.”

Irina smiled mischievously at her brother. “Guess I’m smarter than you now.”

He pinched her side, making her giggle.

“You should rest before tonight. Gotta be patient enough not to punch Vasily in the face.”

“How did you know I was thinking about doing that?”

Nikolai smirked. “Guess I’m still smarter than you’ll ever be.”

“You little piece of shit.”

Next chapter

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depressedbagpipe · 2 months

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guys sorry i disappeared i'm still recovering from a surgery i had last month 💀 anyways things are brewing thank you for reading yes i will continue with all the stories i just am the worst fanfic author ever lol

#bagpipe rants #your girl is tired #i'm on my period #sometimes i wish i didn't have adhd so i could actually do something productive with my life #wow this got deep #love you all #thank you for reading

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depressedbagpipe · 3 months

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hi there, darling. happy new year! i’m wishing you nothing but the best for this new chapter. i hope it will be an amazing one just like you! please picture me giving you the biggest hug right now. mwah!

lyra happy new year 💀💀💜💜 (almost a month late) i love you, stay hydrated, take care of yourself, sleep 8 hours, take 30 minute walks everyday, pet a dog, and take your vitamins ♥️♥️ sending lots of love and virtual hugs too ✨✨

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depressedbagpipe · 3 months

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GIRLYPOP- GOLDEN IS SO FIREEE AND ITS JUST THE FIRST PART ❤️‍🔥 BEST STORY OUT THERE FR

OMG I DIDN’T SEE THIS BEFORE????? LITERALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH 💜💜💜 i know i’ve been kinda slow lately but i’m working on it 😈😈😈 so stay tuned ✌🏻✨

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depressedbagpipe · 3 months

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forgot to mention that i went into surgery literally this morning and i’m editing a bunch of chapters that i’ll post shortly 👀

2024 started off strong, wow

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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A Heartrender's Fire: ch. II

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc

Words: 5050 Warnings: me not knowing how ships work? i know the volkvolny is supposed to be a whaler but idk, rewatch the episode if you're having doubts. the sea whip scene + a bit of blood, cringe dialogue, lots of filler (it's not me it's the plot) BTW I'M NOT SURE I'VE PROOFREAD THIS AT ALL SO BEWARE A/N: somehow this chapter got incredibly long for a mere filler, anyways, enjoy. again, just in case anybody got lost along the way, this is strictly self-indulgence imagining my oc as part of the show, do with that what you will

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II: Rusalye

Irina was aware of the hustle on deck before she was fully conscious. She had been sprawled on one of the side benches, completely asleep as the sun went up and her guard ended. The previous day's affairs had left her exhausted and she hadn’t even been bothered enough to go below deck to her shared cabin. Fully trusting the crew surrounding her, she un-gracelessly flopped down on the wooden bench and closed her eyes for what she thought had been minutes.

Thankfully for her, a huge shadow loomed over her, sheltering her from the unforgiving sun rays that seemed to follow the Volkvolny. Whether that was because of the Sun Summoner, Irina didn’t know.

“Enjoyed your nap?” Tolya’s voice made her open her eyes.

Her pupils shrank involuntarily, adjusting to the bright sky above her. The giant blocked the sun with his existence, and with the sun rays surrounding his head, he looked heavenly to Irina, who was making a huge effort not to let her eyes droop again and cave in the slumber.

She smirked. “Greatly.”

She took Tolya’s hand, who gently pulled her up on her feet. She lost her footing slightly as a particularly big wave made the ship lurch to the side, making her crash into his side. His big arm steadied her, coming around her waist as she braced for the impact. It was moments like these that Irina wished she would’ve crashed into the floor because it would’ve saved her from the embarrassment of having to look into his eyes and thank him for his service. Because no matter how many years the twins had been by her side, a sliver of doubt always clouded her judgment. Did he feel the butterflies too, or was it just sheer loyalty to them as Sturmhond and Ainthe?

Irina discarded those thoughts as she stretched, rubbing her eyes and observing the decks. She took a deep breath. “It’s warm today.”

Tolya nodded. “It is, thanks Saints for that.”

She snorted. “You can’t complain that you’re cold when you’re constantly bare-armed.”

He smirked. “You know sleeves limit my movements,” he said as he too scanned the rest of the crew.

“Right.” She wasn’t looking at him but felt his eyes on her. “That’d explain why Tamar is always fully dressed and just as capable.”

She turned her eyes to him, but her teasing gaze made him chuckle. They both remained at the poop deck, eyeing the crew work around the main level.

“There she is,” Irina noticed the Sun Summoner suddenly appear on deck, with a wonderstruck look on her face. She eyed the two squallers working the main sails, exchanging words with her friend.

“Did you ever meet her?” Tolya almost whispered in her ear, his eyes never leaving the Sun Summoner.

Irina shook her head, noticing the way his eyes lingered on the other girl. “No. But our parents did, apparently. Kirigan wouldn’t have kept her hidden for that long,” she noted.

“So she wasn’t tested as a kid, then?”

The girl shrugged. “Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t. It’s not like I’ve had the chance to really get to know her yet. But he isn’t Grisha.”

“I know.”

“Those two…”

“Definitely.”

The two shared a knowing look, silently deciding to drop their conversation, but also agreeing to pay close attention to the couple as they slowly arrived at their spot. Tolya walked down the poop deck to join his sister, while Sturmhond joined his, coming behind her.

“Be nice,” Irina warned her brother.

Sturmhond feigned innocence, bringing a hand to his chest. “I’m always nice, dear sister.”

“Like hell you are.”

“I just enjoy annoying you.”

Irina didn’t say anything else, for the couple arrived at their deck. Mal was about to touch a lever when Sturmhond stopped him, coming closer to them.

“Ooh, definitely don’t touch that.” Mal rolled his eyes again. “So, Miss Starkov,” he approached Alina. “What say you and I chart the course to your destiny to find the Sea Whip?”

Alina looked at Mal, who stood straighter, with his hands in his pockets. “That’ll be me, I’m the tracker.” Alina stared at him proudly.

Irina stared between the two men, enjoying the bickering. Her brother. with a confident smirk, pulled his golden compass out of his clothes, dangling it in his hand as he showed it to them.

“My lucky compass. Seen me through thick and thin. Okay then, tracker, which way is north?”

The royal siblings stared at the tracker with mixed emotions. Sturmhond felt oddly confident, and Irina was simply curious. From the way the guests held themselves, they weren’t used to the sea like Sturmhond and Irina were, and even after years of sailing, Irina sometimes couldn’t tell which way was where. Mal adjusted his posture again, raising his eyebrows and looking out in the distance. Alina looked at him like he had hung the sun in the sky.

“Well, I can tell you a few ways, based on the position of the sun and my shadow, based on the direction that we’re sailing in, and based on…” he stopped when he looked at Alina, who was glaring at him. Irina knew another silent conversation had just passed between them, and wondered just how deep the bond between the summoner and the tracker ran. “It’s that way.”

Sturmhond had all eyes on him, who looked down at his compass with a little skepticism. Even Irina peered at the golden needle, confirming Mal’s declaration.

With a nod, Sturmhond dropped the compass and patted Mal on the back, forcing him to walk with him.

“Let me introduce you to our navigators. What did you say your name was again?”

The girls were left by themselves.

“Don’t mind him. He likes to tease,” Irina told Alina with a smile.

The Sun Summoner smiled back at her, a little shyly still, but appreciative nonetheless.

“Mal can be a little… hotheaded too. But thank you…” Alina stopped, suddenly remembering she hadn’t caught the second-in-command’s name.

“Ainthe,” Irina finished for her.

Alina smiled. “Nice to meet you, Ainthe.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Irina smirked too. “How did you sleep?”

“Surprisingly well. A little on the noisy side, though.”

“I apologize for Tolya’s snoring. It can be quite much sometimes,” both girls laughed. “Let me show you around the place. Last night Sturmhond wasn’t his usual welcoming self.”

“When is he ever welcoming?” Alina laughed but allowed the girl to lead her through the main deck, pointing out the names of several crew members who were working nonstop, pulling on ropes and fixing on the heading.

“I can’t believe there’s Grisha on the crew…” Alina exclaimed.

Irina smiled. “This is a haven for anyone who needs it.”

“And he is your brother?”

“Unfortunately.”

They shared another complacent look before Tamar called Alina’s attention.

“Oi, Sun Summoner! Join us.”

Tamar stood up, leaving space for Alina, who eyed wearily the cards game the twins were playing together with some of the Grisha on deck. Tolya laid his heavy arm on Irina’s shoulders after dropping his cards on the small wooden table, Shu words leaving his mouth in satisfaction at winning yet again. The two of them stared at Alina as she sat down, her confidence gone in an instant.

“What does that mean?”

Tolya frowned. “You don’t know it? It means ‘victory’ in Shu.”

Tamar went back to shuffle the cards, while Alina looked down, embarrassed. “Um, I don’t speak Shu.”

Tamar saved her. “Understandable. We know what Ravkans think about mutts like us. And in Shu Han–”

“They prefer to remind us we’ve our Ravkan mother’s blood,” Tolya finished for her.

Irina scoffed. “Blood is blood. Only fools think otherwise.”

Tamar gave Alina her own set of cards, while she stared at the odd group around her with a shy grin.

“Is that why you’ve chosen a life at sea? Because it understands that?” Alina asked.

“It’s why we chose Sturmhond,” Tolya answered, taking a seat on a barrel.

Tamar chimed in. “He understands.” Then, she looked at Irina, with a grateful smile. “They both do.”

The girl winked at her friend, inviting herself to sit on Tolya’s leg, fully knowing he could support her weight as she watched them play their card game.

It wasn’t long until Alina noticed Tamar’s amplifier, right behind her left ear. “Is that a shark’s tooth? You’re Grisha?” Tamar met her eyes, with a certain spark in her gaze. “Um, what order?”

She shared a look with her brother. “Uh, Tolya and I don’t really do that, but if we were in Ravka, we’d be Heartrenders,” she explained, while Tolya simply kept eating, sometimes even sharing some of the food with Irina, who remained silent. “But I have this so, it’s a win for me,” Tamar kept looking at her brother with a smirk.

It was still a touchy subject for the giant. “If only I’d been thirty seconds faster…”

“Story of your life, little brother.”

Irina shrugged, patting Tolya on the shoulder. “Younger siblings unite.”

Alina chuckled.

Tolya got her attention. “We’ve been told you’re looking for an amplifier yourself.”

Irina added. “The Sea Whip.”

“Is it true?”

Alina didn’t answer, but merely nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Possessing two amplifiers… it breaks all the rules,” Ngarra, the crew’s most proficient Durast, who had been sitting next to Alina, finally spoke.

“Says the Durast who’ll be fusing the amplifier, if we find it,” Tolya made his sister chuckle.

“So I have a vested interest in your plan. But I don’t want to die in the process,” Ngarra added.

Alina laughed softly, yet with certain doubt in her voice. “Trust me, I don’t want to die either.” She looked at Tamar, eyeing her amplifier for a brief second. “Um, when you fused your amplifier, did it show you its last moments?”

Tamar nodded. “Tolya swimming up as I took its life.”

Irina shuddered slightly at the memory of the big white shark, and how close she had felt to dying when she saw the great creature swimming at a dangerous speed to them. The vessel they had boarded had tipped over in the strong tempest, and both crews were swimming towards the whaler they called home in the rain when one of the Tidemakers saw the big animal not far away from where they all swam. Irina had been unwillingly rushed through the water by Greyven on Sturmhond’s orders, and all that was left to do was see how Tamar threw herself at the beast in front of her brother. It seemed ages ago, yet Irina sometimes still felt the tilting of the vessel, and the cold splash of the True Sea deep in her bones.

Ngarra asked. “What did the Stag show you?”

Alina sighed. “The last thing it saw was me, reaching for its muzzle. Like it always should have been. Because… I’d always dreamt about it,” her gaze got darker. “But now I’m dreaming about the Sea Whip, and the Firebird, too.”

“You think the three are connected?” Irina asked, re-adjusting her position on Tolya’s leg.

The Sun Summoner struggled for words. “I think… I think they are to be connected… through me. So I can then destroy the Fold,” she shook her head. “But I can’t be sure unless I try. Unless we try.”

“It’s uncharted territory,” Ngarra argued, but she also felt the promise of adventure.

Tamar shrugged. “What are we, if not experts in uncharted waters?” She dropped her cards on the table again. “Who’s ready to test their mettle?”

–·–

“Stop with the flirting,” Irina told her brother.

“I’m not flirting,” Sturmhond defended himself.

“You so are! I thought you were a lot more intelligent to know she’s already spoken for,” she frowned, talking in quiet voices so the Sun Summoner wouldn’t hear them.

“I’ve called everybody ‘sunshine’ at least once before,” he said, pulling his sleeves up as they made their way to the war room, just below the main deck. “I’m not gonna stop now just because she is a Saint.”

Irina shook her head as she took her place to his right, impatiently waiting for the crew to begin their council. “I know what you’re planning. And I hate it.”

“You’re gonna have to trust me on this one.”

“She’ll hate you when she finds out, too.”

“That’s why you’re not coming.”

“What?”

“I need you on the ship.”

“You need me out there, Sturmhond.”

“Should anything happen to the captain, the second-in-command steps in.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you. Or me.”

“You’re right. Because you’re staying.”

“You know fire comes in really handy sometimes.”

“We got the Sun Summoner.”

“Ouch.”

“You two are literal children,” Tamar groaned, flanking the Sun Summoner.

Tolya stood on the other side, in front of the royal siblings and next to his sister. When everybody took their place around the wooden table, Sturmhond began his speech, ignoring his sister’s glare. Whether he liked it or not, she was coming.

“Thanks to navigation from our Summoner’s tracker friend here,” he eyed Mal, who, again, rolled his eyes, “we’ve traversed the Bone Road to the island of Jelka.”

A sailor threw a small pouch to Tolya, who caught it in his hands. Tamar stared at him questioningly, looking at the brown fabric trying to catch a glimpse. Even Irina stopped paying attention momentarily as she frowned, seeing the giant open the pouch and start nibbling at whatever the sailor had fired at him so he could eat.

“As for the Sea Whip, we have some storybook drawings, no telling what it really looks like.” Sturmhond walked back to the only wall that was covered by a black curtain, and gripped the small rope that opened it. “Rule of thumb for the unknown, come prepared!”

The Volkvolny’s wall of weapons was visible to the newcomers, both of them gasping at the big number of armaments that Sturmhond kept partially hidden.

Mal stepped closer, not wanting to let his amazement show to the sea prince. “Are all pirates this well-armed?”

“Privateer,” Sturmhond complained.

“I don’t know the difference.”

Sturmhond walked to him. “The difference is, I have a license. And a healthy love for innovation: gadgets, marvels, things that go boom...”

“Especially things that go boom,” Irina mentioned, making her brother smirk.

“Anything pique your interest?”

“Yeah,” Mal swallowed.

Sturmhond grinned. “Well, take it, for our excursion.” Mal took the harpoon, a special design Sturmhond had taken years to perfect. “Fabulous choice. You have excellent taste in weaponry, Mal. The cable’s Fabrikator-made. Tensile strength of 80,000. Yield, 50.”

“Impossible,” Mal wondered, although he was starting to believe that very few things were impossible for the privateer.

“When people say ‘impossible,’ they usually mean ‘improbable.’”

Mal laughed. “Not me. It’s incredible.”

“I designed it myself. In fact, my inventions are all around you,” he whispered his next words. “You just have to know where to look.”

Sturmhond addressed the crew once again. “So, we’ll go in quietly, on Miss Starkov’s orders, to injure it for your death blow.”

Alina interjected. “I’m not killing it.”

That made the room silent.

Irina then intervened, her voice calm yet defiant, just like her brother had taught her. “You have to kill it, to claim its power. That’s how amplifiers work.” She spoke from experience, of course. The wolf’s fang she wore as a necklace and kept hidden with her clothes, unlike her friends, wasn’t completely fused to her body, but still allowed her to amplify her own powers at her will. She had never taken it off, and always thought she never would.

Alina shook her head. “It wasn’t with the Stag. I think I can do it without killing it.”

Sturmhond chuckled. “As… As lovely as that sounds, I’m not sending my crew in to tame a mythical beast with nets and good intentions.”

The Sun Summoner didn’t back down. “This is the job you were hired for, privateer. We capture it. Alive.”

Nobody had time to add anything else before Greyven called Sturmhond’s attention. “Captain! We’ve reached the island.”

Irina smirked, her blood buzzing in her ears as fire burned in her veins. “Let’s go.”

When she passed next to Tolya, he took her hand in his, dropping a couple of the seeds he had been eating into her palm. Without another word, the crew went up to the main deck, staring at the dark island looming in the distance, shadows and black clouds swirling around it, a silent warning to anyone who dared trespass its borders. Anyone who, unlike the crew on the Volkvolny, wasn’t stupid enough to get any closer.

“Well, that’s not foreboding.”

A distant thunder crackled.

“Could be anywhere in there,” Tolya noted.

“We enter through that one,” Mal decided, pointing at an opening that quite frankly looked even worse than the island itself, making Tamar frown.

“You sure?”

“There’s a frequency. I’ve heard it before. It’s in there.”

The royal siblings shared a worried look, but Sturmhond quickly made the call.

“You heard him. We’re going ashore!”

–·–

The tunnel was dark, wet, and unforgiving. The entrance was the only beacon of light in the narrow passage, but as soon as the crew walked into the lion’s den, the darkness engulfed them, as if it was the only one living there. Just a small party had been chosen to look for the Sea Whip, and much to her brother’s protest, Irina had been the first to volunteer. She now silently walked after her brother, who shone a weak light that had nothing to do with the endless pit of obscurity that lay before them. Greyven, their trusted Tidemaker, walked after them. Tolya and Tamar followed, with the Sun Summoner and Mal at the back, the party finishing with two other sailors.

Sturmhond quickly loaded his gun as soon as he heard the still water move unrhythmically, distant and different from the steps of his crew.

“That could be it.” He didn’t move his eyes from the front but addressed the Tidemaker. “Greyven, tell me. Anything in the water?”

Greyven searched, sending small yet powerful waves around him, his Grisha powers doing the rest for him as he tested the waters, looking for the possible bane of their existence.

“There are holes in the cave floor.” Everyone instinctively looked down, suddenly weary, not trusting their feet anymore. “So be careful where you step. Otherwise no.”

Mal frowned. “No, you can’t tell, or no, there’s nothing in there?”

“Whichever makes you feel more comfortable,” Tolya cocked his head to the side, continuing his walk.

Tamar followed, twisting her axe once again. “Comfort’s overrated.”

Irina grunted, hating the way the water clung to her feet. “Of course you’d say that.”

They all managed to take two more steps when a deep and chilling noise alerted them. They ducked, their hands and weapons ready, but nothing met them halfway. The gurgling continued, low and menacing, regardless, making the sailors confused. Nobody dared speak as they looked around, both relying on each other for comfort and checking each other’s blind spots, but no light could prevent them from following blindly into danger.

Disaster happened quickly. One of the sailors suddenly disappeared before everyone’s eyes, a somber and horrifying creature yanking him up from his back and pulling him away from the group through one of the dark holes in the ceiling, and the chaos began. Everybody started firing at the creature, following the noise of its cries while they all screamed in fear, the darkness seemingly getting worse.

“Drop the nets! Aim to kill!” Sturmhond called, breaking his promise to the Sun Summoner as soon as he lost a member of his crew.

“No! Don’t!” Alina pleaded, but Sturmhond’s order had already been called, and the situation was too dire for them to show mercy.

Irina had her revolvers ready, preferring the quickness of the explosion to her own summoning, unconsciously mirroring her brother’s stance as they stood back to back, looking around, trying to catch the next glimpse of the Sea Whip.

“I couldn’t see it. It’s toying with us,” Sturmhond panted, completely wet. His gun was pointed at nothing, but not once he blinked or staggered. “Conserve your ammo, or we’ll be dry by the time we need it.”

A couple of moments of silence were followed by another loud scream, both siblings yelping when the sailor guarding their backs disappeared as well, his terrified face being the last thing anyone saw as he was dragged underwater. Tamar searched the passage for him, trying to feel his heart, but the look on her face made everybody know that another one of their party was gone for good.

Irina’s heart drummed loud in her ears, and if she had been paying a little more attention despite the situation at hand, she would have noticed Tolya’s left hand, the one who wasn’t grabbing his sword, extended towards her, calming her clock down just a tad, enough to allow the girl to think a little bit clearer.

Another distant noise echoed in the tunnel.

“It can camouflage,” Sturmhond’s voice, though low, reverberated in the cavern.

Mal saw it first. Before the creature growled and threw itself at Alina, he was already pushing the two of them away from its path. The creature dipped and threw Sturmhond down as it ran away from the group, and the prince quickly stood back up, secretly hating the cold that was now seeping into his beloved blue jacket. He looked wildly around him. Nobody knew where the creature would be coming from next, and that fear only grew stronger with every passing second.

“It sounds like it’s everywhere,” Sturmhond noted.

That seemed to call it again. The Sea Whip appeared right in front of Alina, glaring at her for a second before throwing itself at the group. Tolya and Tamar tried slashing the creature, but with sheer strength they were pushed away, unscathed. Irina and Mal weren’t that lucky. The creature slammed the girl into the wall as it went for Mal, knocking her unconscious. While she slowly drowned, the Sea Whip had its mouth on Mal’s crossbow, even sinking its teeth into his flesh as Mal fought it off. Alina didn’t hesitate to put it down, sending a powerful beam of light its way, effectively killing the creature, and leaving it unmoving on the water, with its mouth wide in pain and shock.

Nobody spoke. They panted, staring at the sinking creature before them, a group realization that they had somehow finished their mission, only somewhat differently than what they had originally expected.

Sturmhond walked forward, touching it. “It’s dead.”

Alina sighed, defeated, and they would have remained silent if the sudden light beam that filtered through the entrance of the cavern hadn’t shone on the water to reveal a light stream of blood coming from the side of the wall, where a gap stood where another Grisha should have been.

Sturmhond frowned, suddenly desperate, with his heart almost echoing off the walls. “Ainthe?”

–·–

Irina woke up to a pounding in her head. She groaned, bringing her hand to her head, trying to locate the source of the pain. It wasn’t uncommon for the girl to wake up to headaches, especially after wild nights on kvas, but her body still felt cold, and shivers seemed to haunt her despite her many layers.

“Easy there, you took a big hit,” she recognized her brother’s voice.

When she finally opened her eyes, she was lying in her bed at the captain’s cabin, with her brother sitting down next to her, and Tolya and Tamar standing by the end of the bed, looking at her expectantly.

“At least I didn’t have to walk back all the way to the ship,” the girl grinned, feeling the pain slowly fade as she sat up. Her brother helped her, and although the wrinkles in his forehead let her know he was worried, his eyes sparked with humor.

“Tamar did a good job patching you up on Jelka, but don’t worry, the Healer came and did the rest,” Tolya spoke with a soft voice, which anyone who hadn’t known him previously would think it’d belong to someone else.

“Thank the Saints,” Irina joked, already putting one leg on the floor.

“Hey!” Tamar pretended to glare at the girl, but emotion got the best of the Heartrender, and she quickly threw her arms around the princess, hugging her tightly. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Irina closed her eyes, taking in the smell of seawater off her. “Me too.”

“We got the fetters,” Sturmhond reminded them when they pulled away. “We should start.”

“Why the rush?”

Sturmhond stopped, looking back at her with a look she couldn’t quite decipher. The Heartrenders left the room, sensing the captain’s discomfort.

“My sister almost drowned because of a couple of scales from a mythological creature that shouldn’t have existed in the first place. I want them gone as soon as possible.”

Irina stared at him, finally understanding the situation. “Nikolai—“ she began, but he cut her off.

“That’s why I didn’t want you to come,” he spoke. “Every time you’re not in my sight I feel like you won’t ever be there anymore. It’s my responsibility to take care of you, Irina.”

She shook her head. “I’ve never been your responsibility, Nikolai. I made a conscious decision to follow you to the end of the world.”

“Whether you want it or not, you’re part of Ravka too. Should anything happen to me, or Vasily…”

“Don’t.”

“Irina.”

“I don’t care. I came here to live. For freedom. And sometimes we gotta fight for it. And that’s okay.”

Sturmhond sighed in frustration. “You could’ve died, for Saints’ sake! Don’t you realize that? Why are you so calm about this?”

She shrugged. “Because you were there. And Tolya, and Tamar. And a fucking Saint. I always know you will protect me, Nikolai. I’m not scared.”

He stopped, looking at his younger sister with a new profound admiration. “And what if I’m not able to protect you?”

“Then I’ll protect you.”

She sent a spark to one of the candles that had gone off a few minutes before, making Sturmhond stare at the flame dancing in her fingers.

“Sometimes I forget you’re the most powerful of the two of us,” he said rather defeated, but still managed to put a smile on his face.

Irina smiled. “That’s okay. I’ll remind you of it.”

He chuckled lightly, welcoming the heat that warmed his heart at the sight of his sister, alive, well, and joking, even if she had literal fire coming from her fingers.

“Let’s get this over with.”

“Lead the way, then.”

–·–

“We hold ourselves bound to this mission. To ensure that our fallen crew did not die in vain. And we honor the ultimate sacrifice that they made in our quest to find the Sea Whip. Let us bow our heads for the crew lost today. Let the sea carry them to a safe harbor, and may the Saints receive them on a brighter shore,” Sturmhond recited, a bit too accustomed to the speech to his liking.

“May the Saints receive them.”

Tolya and Tamar left the Sea Whip’s scales at the small barrel before them, and Irina discreetly sent a spark up, her own memorial to her fallen crew. The full moon was high up in the night sky, allowing the ship to sail peacefully. The candles had been extinct, and only the moonlight provided any sort of light to the moving waters.

“Alina, we’re ready,” Sturmhond called the Sun Summoner.

Irina and Sturmhond walked away from the center of the deck, standing on opposite sides as they looked at Alina, who took Sturmhond’s previous position. The girl was still wearing Irina’s clothes, kindly lent to her to fight the Sea Whip, and Irina couldn’t help but notice how the other summoner managed to wear them better than she did. She felt another pang in her chest at the thought but discarded it altogether. It was show time.

Ngarra took Alina’s hands and carefully embedded the two fetters into her wrist. Quickly, power flowed through her, and in an effortless display, Alina allowed the light to breeze and dance around her.

Everyone at the Volkvolny and a ten-mile radius could feel the power coming from the summoner. Warmth seeped into their bodies, melting their doubts away and igniting the privilege of hope. Despite the brief jealousy, Irina felt it too. They had a chance to win over Ravka, thanks to the girl who now seemed a bit too lost in her own strength.

Mal called out to her when the brightness became too much. Irina closed her eyes, turning her face to the other side, the heat in her face suddenly too intense to be deemed pleasant. But Malyen Oretsev didn’t back down and eventually pulled Alina away from her trance with a hug, which she quickly returned before they both seared their fates with a kiss. Irina chuckled slightly and diverted her gaze to give the couple some privacy, even though the entire ship was staring at them.

The fire in her veins was calling out to her, wishing to unfold just like Alina had done with hers, but Irina kept it contained. She knew she would eventually burn something down the longer she spent without utilizing her capabilities, but she still remained hidden, especially now in front of a Saint. After the day's events, after Tamar’s intervention, Greyven’s usefulness, the Healer’s help, Ngarra’s fusion, and Alina’s display, Irina felt like an Inferni suddenly didn’t make any sense on a ship. Instinctively, she looked back, searching for Tolya’s gaze, but for the first time, he wasn’t looking at her. Tolya was looking at the Saint with the same spark in his eyes Irina had convinced herself at some point was only reserved for her. And the sudden lack of attention she wore like a failure.

Sturmhond cleared his throat to catch everyone’s attention once Alina and Mal were done.

“Well, then. Where to now, Summoner?”

Irina swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to look back at the couple.

Alina nodded as she only looked at Mal. “East Ravka. Then, the Fold.”

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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A Heartrender's Fire: ch. I

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc

Words: 3846 Warnings: tolya x tamar x irina being a chaotic trio, also sturmhond being sturmhond. canon-typical violence, mentions of alcohol and drunk people, brief mention of SA at the end A/N: again, idk what this is, but this is helping me get back into writing after so many months, so enjoy!

Series Masterlist Next chapter

I: No shelter but me

Very few times had Irina Lantsov wished she had actually followed her brother’s advice and stayed at the ship. This was one of those.

She ducked before the drunken soldier could slash her neck open, forcefully kicking his legs and making him fall back, accidentally smashing into a table that broke into a thousand wooden pieces, and left the man unmoving on the ground.

Irina grimaced at the sight, but couldn’t dwell on it much before yet another man was hurled at her. She was used to the constant bar-fighting, bottle-smashing, and table-breaking, but it didn’t mean she liked it. Even though she was perfectly capable of standing on her own, the fire in her veins always called to her, begging to be used, and it always took a toll on her when she couldn’t let herself go completely. She was used to it, anyway. And this was just another bar fight.

The princess caught her twin companions with her eye, both of them on opposite ends of the bar, with fearsome looks on their faces and shining eyes as they too dodged and avoided the weak blows coming their way. The girl didn’t even need her axes; one look and the surrounding men cowered away. The boy was left alone in an instant too, his height too high and imposing that made even the drunkest know they would never be a match for the giant.

Irina expertly punched and smashed her way out of the tavern, avoiding the fallen traders, merchants, and sailors who had, unknowingly, chosen their fates as soon as they decided to launch themselves at the three Grisha.

“Well, that was fun,” grinned Tamar, once they had found refuge at the end of the street.

“So much for not bringing attention,” Tolya breathed out, not in exhaustion but in reprimand.

“For the record, he started it,” Irina defended herself.

Tolya counter-argued. “I don’t think Sturmhond will care about that, Ainthe.”

“Well, Sturmhond’s not here, is he?” Irina had a certain spark in her eyes as she spoke that made Tamar grin.

“And there’s no way he would know. Because we’re not gonna say anything, right, brother?” her gaze was lethal as both girls stared at the giant.

Tolya sighed in defeat, but eventually nodded his head. “Let’s just leave before they arrest us. One less bar we’ll be welcomed at.”

The girls grinned as they walked away in the other direction, leaving behind a mess of First Army officers and confused Zemeni citizens as they tried to explain how the entire tavern had ended up in shambles in a matter of minutes.

Irina took a deep breath as she looked at the street, with all the merchants and traders expertly scamming the many visitors the busy city received every day.

“It still baffles me how you don’t manage to gag every time you breathe here. The docks are nasty,” Tamar commented after eyeing the younger girl.

“It’s the smell of adventure, Tamar. I wouldn’t trade the taste of freedom for anything,” she replied.

“‘Let us appreciate life, for it only graces our fingers before it’s lost forever’,” Tolya recited, looking up at the clouds, a hand over his tender heart.

“Saints, not again,” Tamar groaned as Irina laughed, loving the little interactions she had with the twins.

“Always so delicate, Tamar,” Irina laughed, and even Tolya couldn’t help the smile on his lips.

“As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, we should go back,” Tolya’s statement was met with groans.

Irina complained. “Already?”

Tamar backed her up. “But it hasn’t even been three hours!”

“Sturmhond will kill us if he finds out what we did,” he reminded them.

Irina frowned. “You’re bigger than him.”

Tamar nodded. “You could take him.”

Tolya groaned. “Nobody’s gonna take anybody, alright?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Irina replied.

Tolya rolled his eyes. “The fun is that we all get to live another day, okay?”

Irina grinned, despite the constant bickering. As much as she liked traveling around new places, she ultimately loved the sea. Any excuse to go back to the Volkvolny, she’d take it.

It was only after they arrived at the harbor that they saw the First Army ship, unloading a bunch of boxes that would most likely contain weaponry. It wasn’t unusual for the presence of soldiers around the harbor and nearby taverns, but an entire legion?

The twins continued their bickering about bars and Fjerdans when a conversation between a First Army lieutenant and his soldiers made them stop in their tracks.

“Right, soldiers, listen up. Our fugitives are loose, but I have men blocking the roads, so their only way out is passage here, on a ship, in this harbor. We turn her in, and split the reward. But only if we stop them before they get on a boat. Is that understood?”

The officers yelled a chorus of ‘Yes, sir,’ before they disbanded, with the lieutenant walking back to presumably repeat the same orders to the smaller groups of soldiers perched around the harbor. Their uniforms were neat and put together, and the young faces of the soldiers almost made Irina shiver.

Tamar looked at her friends. “Sounds important… or dangerous. I can never tell the difference.”

She had one of her axes in her hand already, looking at it with care and mischief.

Tolya nodded, ignoring the sarcasm in her sister. “Definitely important. Come on.”

He grabbed his sister and pulled her back, knowing she was already going to pose some opposition.

“But–”

“No.”

Irina chuckled behind them, casting one last look at the army ship, hoping her disguise would be enough, and trailed after the twins.

–·–

Night had finally fallen over Novyi Zem when everybody was back at the Volkvolny. The harbor was empty, per Sturmhond’s request, and it was only a matter of time before a certain magic girl made its willing way up the ramp.

“I sure hope she falls for it,” Irina muttered under her breath. She was perched on the balustrade of the ship, looking at the crew as they loaded some of the boxes they had definitely not stolen from the First Army soldiers. “And how much longer is it gonna take? Weddle isn’t that big.”

“Maybe if you helped you wouldn’t be so bored,” Tolya pointed at her.

“Cute, but the second-in-command doesn’t load weapons; she uses them,” but their conversation was interrupted by Tamar.

“They’re here.”

Irina frowned. “They?”

And right on cue, a young couple appeared out of thin air and ran to their ship. The girl ran a bit forward.

“Hey, stop!” the crew looked at her. “We need a charter out of here immediately.”

Tolya and Tamar stood at the ramp, both receiving the girl and guarding the ship. Irina didn’t move from her place, but was looking down at the newcomers curiously, analyzing their every detail, just as her brother had taught her. The twins shared a look that Irina knew was a satisfactory one but waited for the couple to talk.

“I can pay,” said the girl again, bringing her hand to a small pouch by her hip and pulling out a beautiful hairpiece, one Irina recognized all too well. “It’s gold.”

Tamar took in her hand, feigning dubiousness, even bringing the object to her mouth and biting it to test its falsehood. With a shrug, she gave it to Tolya.

“That’ll do,” she said casually.

“Come on then, hurry up. I’ll take you to the captain,” he said after inspecting the hairpiece too, with another playful smirk on his lips.

The couple were quick to stand on the ramp, and Tolya was about to follow when the same lieutenant the trio had seen in the afternoon called after them.

“You, stop!” he was pointing at the couple.

Irina sat straighter in her place, her eyes dancing between the soldiers, counting in her head how many were pointing their rifles at them. Her hands stood close, ready to summon if she had to, but made no other move. Tamar and Tolya didn’t even budge. She grabbed one of her axes and spun it in her hand, taking dangerous steps towards the officer.

“You want to fight, Ravka? Hey?” her axe stood inches away from the lieutenant’s neck.

He recoiled and took a step back, fear evident in his eyes, pointing at the man whose hand had protectively grabbed the girl’s arm. Irina noticed that, because of course she did.

“That man is a deserter of the First Army. He belongs in our custody.”

But Tamar hadn’t come to play. By that point, the entire crew was staring at them, waiting for the next move. “Is that so? All right then.” She turned, looking up at Irina. “Ravka wants a fight!” with her shout, everybody stood, dropping whatever they were doing and getting into position. Irina, regardless, kept being seated down, knowing that Tamar alone could do as much damage as an entire army.

“I don’t want to escalate the fight with Shu Han.”

At this, Tolya grabbed his katana and walked beside his sister. “We’re not with Shu Han. We’re independent.”

“Maybe you save your bullets for the war, old man?” Tamar mocked him. Even though the tension was escalating quickly, everybody knew, they were no match for the crew of the Volkvolny. They had the higher ground. “First Army needs to know its place.”

Everything that happened later was a blur. The soldiers left, with a generous tip on behalf of the ship’s captain, and they were all soon on their merry way.

Irina and Tolya had taken the couple below deck, with the giant chatting happily about the majestic ship they all stood on and effectively distracting them of the speed the Volkvolny was sailing at away from Novyi Zem, and with Irina still looking at the newcomers with interest.

Opening the door to Sturmhond’s cabin, Tolya spoke.

“Request for charter, Captain.”

Irina also walked into the room, sharing a knowing look and a nod with her brother, before standing beside him on the other side of his desk, full of maps, papers, and a huge picture of the Darkling and the Sun Summoner, hand in hand, as the most wanted people in Ravka.

The boy walked inside decisively. “Immediate charter.”

The girl trailed after him. “He means we need to leave right now.”

Sturmhond fixed his blue coat, adopting the imposing posture he was known for. And went straight for the kill.

“Let’s be clear about two things. I don’t take orders in my own ship. And we’re already underway,” he pointed to one of the portholes on his right. “I’m glad you’ve joined us. Now, maybe you’d be so kind as to give the room a little light. After all, you are Alina Starkov,” he fixed his eyes on the girl. “A 20-million-kruge Saint.”

He grabbed his pistol and forcefully dropped it on the poster, with the canon staring directly at the young couple, every moment carefully planned out to let his guests know he hadn’t come to play, and that he had the upmost upper hand in the situation.

“Dead or alive.”

The silence that filled the cabin almost sent a shiver up Irina’s spine. The air was thick with tension, especially coming from Miss Starkov and her friend.

“No point in denying it, Miss Starkov. You are the Sun Summoner.”

She stood straighter at the mention of her title. “You’re right.”

She was quick to summon light with her hands, creating two smalls of pure sun that she held in her palms. Both Tolya and Irina tried to keep their composure, but they too believed in Saints. And they were standing right in front of one, who was coincidentally threatening Irina’s brother. Luckily for him, his too-clever fox face didn’t show any slight change. He whistled, still sat in his chair, lounging comfortably as if he was simply catching up with some old friends.

“Impressive. And it’s not often I say that.” To the untrained ear, his words would come out as sarcastic, almost venomous. But Irina knew better.

Alina’s words were quiet but stern. “Let us go. Or you’ll be out 20 million kruge and a ship.”

The captain stood once again, chuckling lightly. “While I’m well aware you could consign us all to the watery deep, you should really consider how far from the docks we are.” He casually poured some kvas into a couple of glasses. “Besides, I’m not handing you over to the Fjerdans,” he took both glasses and handed one over to his sister, who had made herself comfortable at the only empty corner of his desk.

Irina gladly accepted the glass, downing half of the beverage, still looking at the couple.

Alina frowned. “You’re not?” She even searched Irina’s face, searching for confirmation.

“Saints, no,” he stopped, checking with his guests. “Sorry, is it offensive to say that in the presence of a living Saint?”

Even Tolya shifted his weight at the captain’s words. The boy rolled his eyes, unnerved, and Irina shared a look with Sturmhond, both of them thinking the situation the most fun they’d ever had.

The captain sat back down, which made the boy follow his lead and sit on one of the chairs Sturmhond had on the other side of the desk. Alina stood behind him, only now Irina couldn’t tell who was protecting whom. Tolya kept guard by the door, frustrating Alina’s plan of escaping.

“Okay. What do you want with us then?” the boy tried to bargain.

Sturmhond wasn’t finished.

“With you? Nothing.” He eyed him down. “Honestly, I’m not even sure who you are.” Irina had to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape her lips. “But the Sun Summoner…” he pointed at the girl, looking at her as one would eye their prey. Because to Sturmhond, that’s what she was. “Well, you have to know you’re quite valuable.”

The boy leaned forward. “You just said you wouldn’t turn her in for a bounty, pirate.”

“Privateer.”

Irina rolled her eyes, being a little too used to listening to that conversation.

“Oh.” The boy humored him.

“And what I said was I wouldn’t hand her into the Fjerdans. I said nothing of the Kerch or Shu.” He loved playing with his food before eating it. “I paid a small fortune to empty the dock and make sure you got on my ship. And, frankly, I think the Fjerdans are severely undervaluing you.”

Alina nodded, with a flash of determination. “You’re right. They are.” She walked closer to the desk and leaned on it, having the upper hand. Or so she thought. “Because you’ll be able to ask the King of Ravka for twice as much.”

Both Irina and Sturmhond froze in place. Their looks weren’t taunting anymore; they were cold and unforgiving. But none of them let it show.

“You know the King?” the captain asked Alina, who fired back.

“I’m the Sun Summoner.”

Tolya was greatly enjoying the conversation at the back of the cabin, analyzing closely Irina’s reactions. She was rather shocked at Alina’s words but liked that someone else was trying to put her brother into place as if he wasn’t already running ten steps ahead of everyone.

“By all accounts, the First Army have now turned their sights on Grisha. Thanks to what you and your conspirator did in the Fold,” he looked down briefly at the paper.

Sturmhond’s sharp tongue had suddenly become poisonous.

Alina drew back. “The Darkling and I were not partners. You may believe otherwise, but once I tear down the Fold and reunite Ravka, the world will see I am not his ally.” Her voice almost broke. Even Tolya noticed it. And he knew she was telling the truth. “Help us and you’ll be rewarded.”

The Ravkan siblings were staring at her as if she had suddenly grown two heads. The prospect seemed impossible, but then again, a living Saint stood before them. They had seen stranger things.

“To tear down the Fold?” Sturmhond scoffed, but Irina still detected the hope that was now running through his brother’s mind. “And how do you plan on doing that exactly?”

Alina raised her head. “By hunting Morozova’s Sea Whip.”

“Alina.” The boy warned her, but she stopped him with her hand.

Instinctively, both siblings raised their kvas glass and took a long sip, mulling over their words. Sturmhond eyed Irina briefly.

“Well, I suppose if the Stag existed, the Sea Whip and the Firebird might as well,” he thought out loud, his gears turning. His eyes were glimmering. “You couldn’t do it with one amplifier, but two…”

“Unburdened by General Kirigan, under my own power,” Alina continued, also feeling the hope in the captain’s eyes. He leaned forward on the chair, looking down at his feet, the last traces of his plan finally coming together. “Will you help us or not?”

Sturmhond stood up again, never able to sit still for too long. He looked at his sister, who wore a similar face to him, her consent being the only other thing he needed to embark on the journey of the Sun Summoner.

“There’s adventure, danger, money? Now you’re speaking my language.”

The siblings downed their glasses at the same time on opposite ends of the desk, finalizing the deal with a bright smile.

– · –

“What is the difference between a privateer and a pirate?” Mal, Alina’s friend, whispered to her, but not low enough not to be heard by Irina, who walked behind them.

Sturmhond led the way, stopping occasionally to acknowledge the crew.

“Hey, Ainthe, need a light over here!” Irina quietly made her way to a fellow sailor who couldn’t seem to light the candle, and thankfully for her, her brother called everyone’s attention, which allowed her to blend into the crowd for a second.

Her fingers danced, and a light flame suddenly lit up the lamp the sailor needed. She retreated with a smile, knowing her brother was about to give a speech.

“All right, listen up, everyone! We have guests! The Sun Summoner and,” he turned to Mal, in the mood to mess with Alina’s grumpy companion. “Uh… You are?”

“Malyen–”

“A guest of the Sun Summoner!” Sturmhond interrupted him, much to Mal’s annoyance. “I expect you’ll treat them with all the respect I’ve come to know from you pack of liars and thieves.” The crew laughed at his words. Irina shook her head. He motioned them forward. “Come along, my darlings, come on, come on. Now, you can have the two in the back, it’s the most private suit we have.”

Sturmhond referred to the two fabrics arranged as hammocks, at the far end of the room and next to the stairs that led to the deck. It wasn’t cozy by any means; the room smelled of sweaty pirates, it was noisy and poorly lit, yet the siblings had grown accustomed to it, even if they slept at a different cabin. There was something about the mess that they could call home.

Alina eyed him wearily as she walked past him, leaving her things on a nearby table, under Mal’s attentive gaze.

“See you in the morning, Miss Starkov,” Sturmhond said with a leisure bow, quickly leaving them to their fates.

“Sweet dreams,” Irina finally spoke, sending them a smile in a much kinder way than her brother had done, and trailed after him.

– · –

“I hope you know what you’re playing at,” Irina frowned as she looked at her brother.

“You caused a bar fight?” he stormed at her.

“We have the Sun Summoner and now what? The Darkling and the entire First Army will be after us, Nikolai, and we’ll have no way of escaping then,” she crossed her arms.

“An officer could have seen you, Irina! Your face could now be printed in the papers! So much for having a fake identity!” Sturmhond threw his hands in the air as he walked around his cabin.

“The entire country is tracking her. We’re supposed to be under the radar and now you want to shelter the most wanted person in Ravka? And not only that but what will happen when we go back?” she went on.

“You can break as many necks as you want when there’s nobody around who could get you into trouble!

“We are gonna be in so much trouble regardless!”

“Can you both stop having two separate conversations at once, please?” Tamar interrupted.

Both siblings turned to look at her, who wore a bored face. Tolya stood behind her, with a simple grin, enjoying the fight between the princes. The four of them stood at the captain’s cabin, away from prying ears, going over the details of their next steps.

“Tamar, back me up on this,” Irina implored her closest friend.

Tamar sighed. “It is risky, Sturmhond. I stood guard until we left the harbor behind and didn’t see any other ship sailing around, but those two are hiding something.”

“Of course they’d feel weary around us; they’d be stupid not to,” Tolya released a breath.

Irina took in one. “Why does this feel like it’s the beginning of the end?” she asked no one in particular. “And how did you even know about the bar fight?” she asked her brother, but quickly turned to glare at Tolya. “Was it you?”

Tolya raised his arms in surrender. “Not me.”

“You forget I have ears everywhere,” Sturmhond took another sip of his glass, raising his eyebrows in mystery. The two of them had almost finished an entire bottle by that point of the night.

“You saw us didn’t you?” Irina squinted his eyes at him.

Sturmhond scoffed. “No, I didn’t!”

“He’s lying,” Tamar interjected.

“Okay, yeah, I saw you. The bar was just around the corner as I walked back. Which is how I bribed everyone into forgetting you three were ever there,” he confessed. “And again, Ainthe, you can’t start fights with everyone who crosses you!”

“He touched my ass, Sturmhond, you can’t expect me to stand there and do nothing!”

“He what?!”

Tolya suddenly appeared between them. “Alright, it’s best we stop. We’re all alive and well. And we’ll get to see another day for now, so let us sleep and rest and continue the fight tomorrow, okay?”

Nikolai and Irina shared a glance, a silent agreement both of them were too accustomed to. A silent way of communicating both of them had perfected over the years, which promised that they wouldn’t bring it back tomorrow. They knew they were too stubborn to allow the other to win, which would cause yet another endless source of bickering.

“Better be back on deck, then. We might need some fire,” Irina commented, taking one last sip of her kvas. “See you all in the morning.”

“Remember, just a spark, Fireball, not a whole bonfire,” Sturmhond called after her.

“Can’t make any promises!” Irina laughed one last time, before closing the door behind her, leaving an equally smiling Nikolai Lantsov on the other side.

Next chapter

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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Can I be added on a tag list? If you have one 🩷

omg hi!! i have a general taglist for literally everything that i post, and specific taglists for my different stories, in case somebody only wants to be noticed about a certain fic and not all of them. which one do you want? ✨

and thank you for reading! ♥️

#bagpipe writes

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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heyo! i just wanted to stop by before the holiday madness starts to tell you that i love you and that i’m proud of you always. i’m hoping the rest of the month will bring you a lot of happiness and some well deserved rest. take care, darling! ✨

hey lyra 💜 honestly you’ve become a beacon of light in my life; every time i’m going through something you somehow end up in my inbox reminding me that there’s good people out there ✨ love you too, and i hope you take care of yourself as well ❤️‍🩹 remember that you are loved, and you are valid, and you’re the best person on this earth ♥️

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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another update

you're not gonna believe this

so, i was one of the only two students to graduate from the screenwriting course xd and too ironically I've started a publishing course so have i been manifesting reader's life from my ka-chaow fic?? anyways, last week (12/12) was my birthday, i finally have holidays which i haven't had since January, i have now time to write, i started another fic, and I'm finally finding inspiration to continue all my stories.

also one of my piercings got infected, my wisdom's teeth came out and they hurt every day, i got the flu like twice, i got the biggest ezcema rash on my legs that I'm still getting treatment for and it's not going away, my bosses keep exploiting me at work, my bathroom got flooded and i had to leave my home for a month until somebody came and fixed it, and everything happening in the world actually caused me so much anxiety that i ended up at the ER for a panic attack.

but i'm okay now :) so welcome back!

#bagpipe rants #bagpipe writes

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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about me

hi! i’m doing this in case anyone was wondering who is this bagpipe person who writes every two months about too many people.

i’m a spanish 23 year-old girl (woman? idk), with too much anxiety and adhd to handle. infp/enfp on a good day, gryffindor, and still waiting to be claimed as a daughter of apollo, i love reading and watching tv and movies, formula 1 as of recently, and though english isn’t my first language, i’ve been bilingual for the majority of my life. college and screenwriting graduate, and publishing student too. i drink too much coffee for my own good, but i just love it.

when i say multifandom, i do mean it. harry potter/marauders, star wars, marvel, percy jackson/heroes of olympus, narnia, merlin, stranger things, disney/pixar, formula 1, bridgerton, shadow and bone… i could do this all day *wink*

my username? i have no idea where it came from, but just go with it. i do was severely depressed at the time i created this account, and have been lurking in the shadows for years, but it was last year (2022) that i finally took the step and posted silver, my first fanfic in years, about none other than prince caspian himself.

my *current* icon is neil perry from dead poets society, even though i'm a raging todd anderson, but neil deserved so much better and without him there would be no society. my banner is the view from the mystery shack from gravity falls :) (this will probably change at some point, btw).

i wish i was a lot more proficient with computers so i could have the coolest blog ever but this is all i can work with. i procrastinate way too much and again, my adhd prevents me from being consistent, but writing is my source of happiness and sharing it with you still fills me with anxiety, but i love reading your comments and reviews. I've met incredible people thanks to this site, so keep 'em coming <3

anything i've forgotten will be added shortly, and if you still have any questions, please ask!!

love y'all, my little bagpipes xx

#bagpipe writes #bagpipe rants #about myself #about my blog #thank you for reading #love you all

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depressedbagpipe · 4 months

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A Heartrender's Fire Masterlist

Tolya Yul-Bataar x Lantsov!ofc [Shadow and Bone: Season 2]

Plot overview: Ravka's youngest princes changed their comfortable lives at the Grand Palace in Os Alta for endless adventures at the True Sea on the Volkvolny. Yet now, Nikolai and Irina Lantsov must return home, if only to aid the Sun Summoner defeat the Black Herectic, and unite all Grisha and their home land once again.

Series Warnings: canon-typical violence, grisha!reader (inferni btw), nikolai lantsov is a warning in itself, irina too, the twins being the twins, vasily (unfortunately), i follow the show's timeline, some casual misogyny, dialogue copy-pasted from the show, forever bitter about netflix cancelling it, poor understanding about grisha terminology

A/N: alright so i don't even know where i'm going with this but I've had this idea for far too long and i can't live in peace without writing some of it, at least. also sorry for the book lovers but i really liked the show's timeline so I'm gonna go with that because i can ;)

Chapter one: No shelter but me Chapter two: Rusalye Chapter three: Like calls to like Chapter four: Every Monstrous Thing Chapter five: Ni We Sesh (I Have No Heart) [coming soon]

General Taglist: @angiewhoohooo, @azaleaniath, @mishaandthebrits, @celestialcharles, @idohknow

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depressedbagpipe · 5 months

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Underneath

summary: after getting stationed at the fortress inquisitorius, it seems a certain inquisitor takes an interest in reader.

relationship: inquisitor Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: (18+) me being absolutely delulu, slow-burn-ish??? as it can get at 7k lol, making out at the end and fade to black, sexual tension if you squint, psychometry

word count: 7.6k

A/N: started writing this back when i restarted JFO and got cal’s inquisitor clothes, so it’s been in the works for quite some time. also i had made pancakes back then and was sad about having no one to share them with, so i shall share them virtually with all of you <3

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

As long as you can remember, you’ve always been fascinated by the way people communicate with each other. Now, as a linguistics and behaviour expert, you count yourself lucky to be one of the probably few people who actually like their job. Stationed in an Imperial office on your home planet, you mainly monitor comms and analyse the occasional security holovid in an attempt to weed out any suspicious activity.

In fact, it was thanks to you that a rebel cell was found, since you caught a suspicious exchange on unused frequencies, which earned you a promotion. You were content with that already, but then your superior said he’d put in a good word for you, as he’s always felt like you were far more capable than just listening to comms all day, and that you could use your skills better in service of the Empire.

Fast-forward three months and lo and behold, you’re now stationed at Fortress Insquisitorius.

It’s the first day and while you’ve got the grand tour of the place by a group of stormtroopers especially assigned to you (you still can’t quite believe you get your own little squad of troopers), there’s still some time before dinner. After dismissing the men, saying you’ll catch up to them later at the mess hall, you walk around, further checking out the place.

As you turn a corner to a hallway you haven’t been to yet, you notice it looks rather deserted. You check the small sign on the wall; this leads to one of the bigger residential wings, but not yours. So you decide to turn on your heels and head the other way. Except that before you can even take a step in that direction, you’re stopped in your tracks by an invisible force and turned back around again. This hold around you isn’t so tight that you can’t breathe, but you do feel the pressure keeping your arms at your sides and your body suspended in the air, the sole of your boots hanging barely an inch over the polished floor. Unable to resist your captor, you’re met with an Inquisitor, of all people, who slowly walks towards you with one of their hands in the air, holding you in place.

They come to a halt before you, the helmet tilting slightly to the side as the eyes under the red visor study you, out of your view.

“Who are you?” comes the distorted voice. Despite the modulator, you can tell by the tone and body language it’s a man. You’ve heard stories about Inquisitors, and despite being stationed at their base, you hoped you wouldn’t have to interact with them. Just your luck, and in an empty hallway no less.

Nonetheless, you tell him your name, station and even your office’s room number. Just in case.

“I’m new,” you add, as if it wasn’t obvious by now. He remains eerily calm and still all the while. With a polite smile, you throw the question back at him, “And you are?”

His helmet tilts the other way ever so slightly as if your question took him by surprise.

“Inquisitor Kestis,” he replies after a second. “Cal Kestis”

“Well, nice to meet you, Inquisitor Cal Kestis,” you say. If you could move, you’d stretch out your hand towards him out of habit as a greeting, but he probably wouldn’t take it either way, so you’re glad you don’t get the chance to embarrass yourself. Yet, anyway.

For a few moments, he just stands there with you in his invisible grasp. Is he looking at you? Did he space out? You suddenly feel your stomach complaining about its emptiness.

“Uhm, could you let me down again?” you ask, looking down at the floor tiles and back up at the red visor. “I’d like to go get dinner.”

Without a word, he places you back onto the ground surprisingly gently, then takes off in the direction he came from, disappearing from your view as he turns a corner. Well, you think to yourself with a satisfied nod as you make your way to the mess hall, I think that was a solid first impression. Good job, me.

The next day, you officially start your new job, and you’re all sorts of excited and nervous. You’re still intercepting messages, decoding and translating encrypted communications, but on a much higher level this time. These are important people you’re monitoring. You’re also called as an interpreter when there’s holocalls with parties who refuse to have droids in the room. Besides, the officers and generals seem to actually enjoy having you around, with your happy and optimistic demeanour in this otherwise cold and sterile building. You know that Imperial staff can be rough sometimes, but you’re convinced that the kindness you put out into the world eventually comes back to you. So you make sure to treat everyone equally, with kindness and respect, wearing a smile whenever you get the chance.

The days go on, and you see all sorts of people around the place. You do see some Inquisitors from time to time, mainly in the hangar. Occasionally they make an appearance in the mess hall as well, but they usually sit alone and for a very short amount of time on one of the round tables in the far corner of the mess. You never see Inquisitor Kestis there, though.

As you sit with your little trooper squad, you chew on a stringy piece of meat deep in thought, not really paying attention to the conversation. This Kestis has you intrigued if you’re being honest with yourself. You still don't understand why he talked to you. The other Inquisitors seem to ignore you, as well as everyone else, most of the time. Besides, Kestis could have just talked to you. There was no need to Force-hold you or anything. Was he trying to show you he’s in charge or something? Doesn’t that mean that he felt threatened?

With a light scoff at yourself — because the notion of an Inquisitor being intimidated by you is pretty silly — you take another bite of your food, your gaze scanning the mess hall without looking at anything in particular. The thing is that, since you don’t see Kestis in the mess hall like, ever, you only catch fleeting glances of him here and there when you see him slip into the elevator or turn a sharp corner at a hallway. You furrow your brows. It’s almost like he’s avoiding you. And that makes you just much more intrigued in what his deal is.

When the squad is in a good mood, you try to slip a question into the conversation about the Inquisitors here and there, asking if they ever saw their faces or what they’re like, and what they do. The troopers can only tell you the rumours you’ve already heard in a thousand different versions, the details getting more violent and out of hand every time you hear them. You dismiss most of those stories; you’ve noticed that a few Inquisitors walk around without a helmet. And others are pretty direct in their attitude towards others, getting into arguments or even physical fights when something bothers them. So they all want the rest to know who they are and be scared, many even seem to enjoy the fear in people’s faces. But Kestis? The few times you’ve seen him, he moves like a well-oiled machine. His face is always hidden, every movement is calculated, and he doesn’t waste his breath on any unnecessary syllable. That’s just proof that he has a carefully curated persona he wears when he’s out and about. But once he’s alone, when he gets to peel back all those layers? You truly wonder what lies beneath.

One evening you find yourself thinking about him yet again, suddenly concerned about his eating habits, wondering if he’s okay and eating well. For some reason that you still can’t quite comprehend, you decide to just go to him. After all, if he didn’t want to see you, he’d just send you away, right? By now you’re very well aware about what the Inquisitors are capable of, but you’re both on the same side, so surely there’s nothing to worry about.

At least that’s what you tell yourself as your feet carry you to the mess hall that evening.

After you’re done eating (the food today is better than you would have thought), you order a second portion to go. You start walking down the hallway, looking for a console or a droid. You know where the residential wing is, but you don’t know what floor the Inquisitors’ rooms are, and doubt there’ll be specific directions towards them. It isn’t long before you do find an R4 unit, and you ask where the Inquisitor quarters are. The cylindrical droid beeps and jumps a little with a startle, at first unwilling to tell you, afraid that if it does, the droid will be sliced in half. But you promise the droid that you won’t tell on it. So after some more convincing and promising the droid you owe it an oil bath, it finally brings up a holomap of the place, showing you where you want to go with a blinking dot.

With a pat on the head, you say your thanks and go to where the map said. Soon enough, you find yourself in a wing of the building you’ve not only never been to, but one you didn’t even know existed if it wasn’t for the droid. The design of the walls is even sleeker here, and the sound of your boots echoes through the hallway. The further you walk into this wing, the fewer people and troops you come across. Even the constant rumbling of machinery behind the panels seems to be quieter here.

After some more minutes of walking, you finally reach the door you’re looking for. There are no signs or name plaques, but you remember the number on the door from the droid’s map. The lettering is almost the same shade of black as the door, so it took you a moment to find the right one. But you’re fairly sure this one should be it.

Taking one final deep breath, you knock on the door. In the seconds waiting for a response, you suddenly feel silly about being here. He’s a full-grown man. An Inquisitor. Why did you think he’d need you to bring him dinner? What if he didn’t like it anyway–

The door opens with a whoosh, and you look up. For some reason, you were expecting to be met with the red visor of his helmet. Which now that you think about, doesn’t make sense; if he’s in his quarters, he wouldn’t be walking around with his full uniform on.

Instead, you’re met with a pair of intense yellow eyes, and equally fiery red hair on his head. Your breath hitches and you’re not sure if it’s the surprise of seeing his uncovered face or the realisation that he’s incredibly handsome, and it just caught you off-guard.

He gives you a quick once-over, momentarily looking at the box in your hands, then bringing his eyes back to yours, boring into your very soul.

“Why are you here?” he asks in a flat voice.

“I haven't seen you in the mess hall today. Or, any other day, really,” you explain, unable to tear your eyes away from him. “Ever since I've started working here. So I brought some food in case you haven't eaten yet…” Your voice starts trailing off at the end as you once again realise how dumb that sounds out loud.

He holds your gaze a little longer, narrowing his eyes at you as if to scrutinise whether you're being honest or not. While you hope he’ll accept the food in case he actually hasn't eaten yet, that's all you expect to happen. You’re counting on him taking the box and leaving you be, so you can go back to your quarters and continue reading your novel, which you are actually looking forward to.

To your surprise, the Inquisitor takes a step to the side, silently inviting you in. You walk past him, slightly bowing your head as a thanks, and take in his quarters. You're not sure what you were expecting, but it's surprisingly… normal. Bigger than the barracks and other quarters you've seen, including yours, but still normal. There’s a banner with the Imperial emblem hanging on the far wall, a couch on the other side, and a round table with some chairs in the middle, as well as a kitchenette. Everything is neat and clean.

You hear the doors close as you walk to the table and place the box on it, turning back around to Kestis, who’s eyeing you curiously.

“It’s still warm,” you tell him, pointing at the food.

He walks by you to pick up the container, and that’s when you notice he’s still wearing his gloves. It strikes you as odd to be wearing them in the confines of his own room, but to each their own. Kestis walks to the kitchen and pours the food onto a plate and throws away the take-out container, then rummages in a drawer for a fork. After walking past you to sit at the table, he takes off his gloves and places them neatly next to him on the table.

“Sit,” he orders without looking at you, and takes the first bite. You sit down across from him.

“Have you already eaten?” he asks.

“Yes, Sir,” you give the honorific a try, and he seems to like it. “At the mess hall.”

“I wouldn’t have any food to offer you either way,” he states, and lifts his gaze to look at you. “This visit is… unexpected.”

“I’m sorry for intruding, Sir. I didn’t mean to. I just–”

“You just what?” He shoots you a look akin to a glare.

“I was just worried, I guess,” you say. He scoffs.

“Please don’t act like you care,” he retorts. “If you need or want something, just tell me upfront.”

“What? No, I- I’m not acting,” you reassure him, raising your hands slightly to underline you’re being earnest. “I’m not trying to gain something in exchange. I was genuinely worried about not seeing you in the mess hall.”

His fork stops mid-way from the plate to his mouth, and the intensity in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine.

“Why?” he asks. You squirm slightly in your seat.

“I’m not sure myself, to be honest,” you admit, and you can’t help the defeated slump of your shoulders. “You were the first one who talked to me when I got here out of their own volition and not because of work. After our chat, I was hoping to see you around or something…”

The pause that follows lasts for a couple of seconds only, but it feels eternal. Until finally, Kestis lets out a short sigh and continues eating.

“I usually avoid the mess hall,” he says, his voice much more gentle now. “Too many people. Too much noise.”

“I see,” is all you manage to reply.

Taking the two last bites of his meal, Kestis sets down the fork. That’s my queue, you think.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep imposing,” you say, rising up to your feet, and he does the same. Before turning around, you search his eyes one last time. “That’s really all I wanted to do: to bring you the food. I’ll be going now. Good night, Sir.”

The Inquisitor walks you to the door, and just as you walk past the threshold, his words surprise you.

“Next time you could bring two portions.”

You whip around, but the door whooshes shut with a hiss.

— — —

After that, you two fall into a strange routine where you get dinner to go and bring it to his quarters so you can eat together. The conversations start out as polite small-talk, but soon enough you can broaden your topics, ranging from work to anecdotes and fun facts you picked up here and there.

While the tone remains polite and all in all pleasant, you do notice that he’s very careful not to touch you. You think it’s because he’s being respectful, but unbeknownst to you, it’s because he wants to get to know you organically, and not pry into the echoes of your belongings. Even if he knows he could, and you’d never even know, and despite his growing curiosity, he feels… compelled to try. For you. Because you bring a refreshing factor into his otherwise stale life, like a gentle melody in the cold vastness of space.

It’s rare to run into Cal, as he’s recently allowed you (and only you) to call him, in the halls or in the hangar. As fate would have it though, you’re just about to get into a ship with your trooper squad to leave for a job off-planet, while Cal happens to be getting off his own ship at the same time.

You don’t want to disturb him. Even if you want to wave at him from afar really badly, or even call out to him. But you think he’d appreciate it if you keep your relationship, whatever it is, a secret. To your complete surprise however, once he spots you in the ever moving crowd of the busy hangar, he comes to you.

Beelining towards you, he comes to a stop in front of you, sporting his full uniform. And while the group around you stiffens up and some even take a precautionary step back, you feel very at ease in his presence, greeting him like you normally would with a smile. If you’re being completely honest, you feel kinda proud that one of the most feared Inquisitors on base came to you, and that everyone seems so scared of him while you are completely relaxed, though still remaining respectful of course.

“Welcome back,” you greet Cal with a genuine smile. “I hope your mission wasn’t too eventful?”

“It all went according to plan,” the distorted voice says with a static crackle.

“That’s good to hear,” you reply.

Cal’s head shifts ever so slightly, the visor looking past your face to something behind your back.

“Is there a problem, trooper?” the Inquisitor asks, standing a little taller as he addresses the soldier who’s shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

“With all due respect, Sir, we’re on a tight schedule-“

The trooper next to him elbows him in the side.

“Is that so,” Cal asks rhetorically, and you can’t really read his tone because of the distortion. Still, you decide to intervene.

“It’s okay, we can still make it on time,” you assure him and shoot the trooper a pointed look while whispering to Cal that he’s new. “But yes, we should probably get going. I’m glad I got to see you, though. Thanks for stopping by to say hi.”

Cal nods and makes room for you to walk past, while the others keep a noticeable distance between the Inquisitor and themselves as they walk around him. When you reach the ramp to the ship, you turn around one last time. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but you’re still surprised to see Cal standing there, hands behind his back, facing your direction. You give a little wave with your hand, then hurry up the ramp and take a seat. As the ship takes off, you’re checking the data on your holopad. You suddenly feel something on your cheek, like the faintest caress of a summer breeze, and you could swear you just heard a voice in your head.

‘Come back safely.’

As the ship activates the hyperdrive, your hand involuntarily comes up to touch your cheek where the skin still prickles from what you can only describe as a ghost’s touch.

— — —

Ever since then, you notice a shift in the way everyone treats you, even your superiors, but especially the troopers. Some seem to get out of your way completely when you come walking down the hall, while others are especially attentive to your needs, offering to help you whenever you look like you’re lost or are searching for something. That one trooper who had spoken up to Cal, you haven’t seen him around at all. In fact, it isn’t until two weeks after the incident that you decide to ask one of your other squad members where he is, and she tells you that he got reassigned to not only a different squadron, but an entirely different planetary system. You have a hunch about who’s responsible for that, but you're still not quite sure why he would go to such lengths. Had he really felt that disrespected? You should watch your tone with him from now on, lest you also be sent to some backwater planet…

However, Cal still acts as he always has around you. You still eat dinner in his room, like you’ve been doing for a while now. And while it may just be your wishful thinking, it seems like his whole body language has finally started to soften too. When it’s just the two of you, his shoulders are not as tense, his jaw not as tight, his eyes not as harsh. Even the way he talks has changed. Others may not notice, but you’re literally trained for this. His choice of words has shifted to a less strictly professional lingo, allowing himself to articulate more freely, as well as use more face expressions, voice tone changes and hand gestures, compared to how he acted when your dinner routine started. At some point, he even stopped wearing his gloves around you all the time.

On one hand, for the past couple of months, dinner has been the highlight of your day. You get to spend time with someone who actually listens to you, not because of work, not because you have data they need, but because they just like to spend time with you. Or at least you hope he does.

On the other hand, you’ve been noticing a slight knot in your stomach whenever you stand in front of Cal’s door, waiting for it to open. As well as the prick of heat on your cheeks when he reacts to your jokes (you haven’t seen him properly smile or laugh out loud yet, but you’ll get there). And let’s not forget the involuntary hitch of your breath accompanied by the skip of your heart when you discover him in the same room with you when you weren’t expecting to see him.

Somewhere deep within you, you know what all of those mean. But you like the relationship that you’ve built with him, no matter how weird it is, too much to listen to your gut right now. So you just push all and any thought of that kind waaay back into the darkest corner of your brain, hoping it’ll pass.

— — —

One day, you’re feeling a little blue, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Cal. He asks what the problem is, and you tell him you miss something from your home planet. He assures you, whatever it is, he can get it for you. So you write down some things and he orders them. Only two rotations later, the package is at his door.

He's really curious to open it but decides to wait for you to get there that evening. When you’re finally in his quarters and he shows you the box, you’re super happy and unpack everything: it’s candy, some fruits he’s never seen before, a jar of what looks like herbs, and another jar with a blue spread of sorts.

You hum, thinking about what to show him first, and decide to go for the jar with the spread. Picking it up, you’re about to start explaining what it is while you open it, but whatever you plan to say gets cut off because of your fruitless effort to screw open the lid. You give it a second try, but it just won’t budge.

With a sheepish look, you wordlessly hand him the glass and when he takes it, there’s a cocky smile on his face that you’ve never seen on him before. You bite your tongue just in time to stop some witty remark, because it would have been a jumble of sounds and no coherent sentence anyway. For in a split second, all those feelings and thoughts you have been repressing come back all at once in one massive wave that crashes over you, drowning everything else around you.

If that small of a change in his face has such a big effect on you, you wonder what else there is. What would a proper smile on him look like? Would he ever properly smile at you? With you? For you? And if it was the other way around, if it was you wearing a cocky grin, looking down at him, how would he—

Oh, oh no. You’re in it bad. So bad.

The sound of your name snaps you back to reality, where Cal is offering you the now open jar, waiting for you to take it. You blink a couple of times, your eyes moving from his face to the jar, then back to his face. One of his brows rises to give you a questioning look. Heat spreads on your face, ears and neck at the multiple images that appeared in your head. You give him a quick thanks, grab the jar, and turn around to hide from his gaze. Already familiarised with his kitchen, you walk up to the counter to rummage in the drawer for a spoon. Taking a deep breath to try and calm your racing heart, you turn back around. Cal is still standing by the table, following your every movement with his yellow eyes. And for some reason, you feel like all the walls you had managed to pick away at ever so slowly have been pulled up again around him.

You’ve heard stories of Force users being able to read minds, and right now you really hope they’re not true. What if he can sense your thoughts? Is he… disgusted at you?

Somehow managing to regain your composure and willing away most of the prickling heat on your face, you explain to him what this spread is called in your mother tongue, which translates to something like “sweet of milk”, and how delicious it is.

You’re still by the counter, not really wanting to get into Cal’s space, and you take a spoonful of the jar’s contents and put it into your mouth.

“Hm, it’s so good,” you say, offering him the spoon to give it a try himself.

He suddenly seems to revert to his normal self and approaches you, grabbing a new spoon from the drawer. Ah, you should have known, he doesn’t like sharing cutlery. Or cups. Or… anything, really. Odd, but you’ve always just attributed it to him being scared of germs or the like, which is very valid. It’s probably the same reason why he’s wearing gloves all the time, especially outside.

As he twists the spoon in his mouth, you see Cal’s face light up for the first time; he likes it. You’re relieved.

“So glad you like it! Alright then, let’s make some pancakes. You’re going to love them,” you exclaim.

Seeing the rest of the imported goods on the table, you tell him to try some candy while you work. You take off your bracelet, leaving it next to the box, and roll up your sleeves to get to work.

While the pancakes are cooking, you watch Cal’s reaction to the sweets. He first inspects it closely in his fingers; it’s shaped like a short stick with stripes in different shades of pink. You tell him the wrappers have trivia facts about animals, but they’re written in your native language. So while he chews on the soft candy, he walks over to you, holding out the wrapper for you to read.

“What does it say?” he asks, and you can’t help feel extremely endeared. Your eyes fall to the paper in his hands.

“It’s about banthas. It says that both females and males have a pair of spiralling horns, and they grow a knob a year. So you can tell the age of banthas by how curly their horns are,” you read out loud. “Huh, I didn’t know that.”

“Interesting,” Cal remarks with a short nod of his head. He chews some more on the candy while inspecting the drawing of the bantha on the wrapper. He seems to like them a lot. In fact, he goes back to the table and takes a second one. He asks you what they’re called again, saying he will probably order some more for himself.

Flipping yet another pancake, you tell him their name and smile to yourself, glad you managed to introduce something nice and colourful into his life. Not that being an Inquisitor wasn’t fun… was it? Truthfully, you have no idea how they feel about what they do out there. You’ve tried getting something out of Cal, but whenever the topic of his work comes up, he shuts you out. You also try not to listen too closely to the gory details of their work that are talked about in quick whispers in the hallways. Either way, you like to think that you broke whatever monotony there could be for Cal, even if only a little bit. Maybe he even looks forward to your moments together, as you do.

The Inquisitor asks what the other jar with the herbs is. You explain that it’s actually leaves for an infusion, and ask if he could put the kettle on.

Suddenly this whole moment feels strangely domestic, and you reprimand your heart for yet another beat it just skipped. It’s just a normal hangout between… colleagues. Making pancakes and having tea. Absolutely normal, strictly professional behaviour, yes.

You flip the last pancake and watch as Cal stands up to get back to the kitchen, but when he puts the jar with the tea leaves back on the table without really looking, his bare hand grazes your bracelet. With a sharp breath through his teeth, he suddenly tenses up, and his gaze is fixed on some spot behind you, without really focusing on anything. You’re not sure what’s happening, but he’s completely frozen up, and you start panicking.

After turning off the heat on the stove, you hurry to stand in front of the Inquisitor, unsure what to do. You call his name repeatedly, but he doesn’t react. Your hand comes up to the side of his arm but you hesitate, stopping just before touching him. Looking up at him, you try calling his name again; still no reaction. So you don’t really have a choice. You place your hand on his upper arm and give him a gentle shake.

“Cal,” you call yet again. “Cal, what’s wrong?”

He takes a big gulp of air, as if he had forgotten to breathe all this time. After blinking a couple of times, it seems he’s back with you, and his eyes dart back to yours, boring into your skull with an intensity that takes you off guard. You’re quick to remove your hand from him and instinctively take a step back to give him some space.

“A-Are you okay?” you ask. “You just spaced out really hard for a moment.”

“Yeah I’m- I’m fine,” he replies, and it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter. “It was… something occurred to me that really took me by surprise, is all.”

“… Right,” you stretch out the word, waiting for him to explain what he meant further, but he reverts completely back to normal in an instant.

“You asked me to put the kettle on, right?” he asks and is already on his way to the kitchen.

“Uhm, yeah,” you follow him with your gaze, confused, then remember an important detail, so you join him in the kitchen. “Oh, but don’t let it boil. That will ruin the leaves. Just gotta heat up the water.”

“Got it.”

— — —

After some more preparations, you’re both sat at the table, and you show him how to eat the pancakes. They’re not like the thick, small pancakes he knows. These ones are larger in diameter and very thin. You demonstrate how to evenly apply the blue spread, stack the cubes of fruit you prepped, then roll up the pancakes like a tube and pick it up in your hands.

“Ta-da,” you exclaim. “And now, enjoy.”

Taking a big bite, you squeal at how good it tastes. It’s been ages since you’ve had this!

Cal imitates what you did earlier, putting together his own pancake tube, and takes a bite as well. Even he can’t help the low moan that escapes through his nose at this fantastic combination. You giggle at the sight, enjoying it immensely that you get to see all these sides to him that probably no one else has seen. Once more, your brain is invaded by the thought of what else there might be to Inquisitor Cal Kestis. If he allowed you to lower wall after wall, layer after layer… what would you discover?

You shake your head to rid yourself of the images starting to form. Nope, can’t go there.

Instead, you decide to show him how the tea is brewed. You grab a small cup and pour some tea leaves in there, which are chopped much more finely than other loose tea Cal has seen. Then you place the special straw that came in the box in the cup. Cal has never seen something like it; it’s essentially a metal tube that is flat at the top and ends in a bulbous shape at the bottom full of little holes.

“So, let me get this straight,” he starts once he understands the mechanics behind your concoction. “Instead of putting the contained leaves in water and then removing them to drink the tea, you just put loose leaves in the water and filter it through the straw to drink the tea?”

“Essentially, yes!”

“That’s so many extra steps…”, Cal sighs, bringing his hand up to hold his temple.

“It’s literally the same,” you laugh. “Just in a different order.”

Pouring hot water into the cup, careful not to overspill it, you offer the cup to him.

“The things you make me do…” he says under his breath, taking the cup and giving it a tentative sniff.

“Oh please,” you say teasingly, and a grin spreads on your face as you prop up your chin on your elbows. “As if you’re not having the time of your life today. I saw how many candies you ate earlier.”

Cal’s eyes dart down to your lips and back up so quickly that you miss it. With a defeated sigh, he gives the tea a try, grimacing at the bitter taste. You chuckle.

“It certainly is an acquired taste, but give it a chance. It gets better with time, trust me.” Kinda like you, you think.

He looks at the cup and back at you, kinda lost on what to do now.

“You’re supposed to suck on the straw until there’s no more water left, then you pass it back and I pour another one,” you explain.

“So many extra steps,” he repeats with a playful shake of his head, but he does as you said, if only to humour you. Once the straw makes the typical noise of there not being any more liquid at the bottom of a cup, he passes it back to you. With a smile, you pour more water into it, and have a drink yourself. He seems a bit shocked about that.

“Oh yeah, this is a drink passed around in a group, and everyone drinks from the same straw…,” you explain. Not to sound like a 12-year-old, a voice in your head says, but that just was an indirect kiss with an Inquisitor. You clear your throat. “Sorry, I guess I should have asked for a second straw so we could both use one each. I was going to offer another round of tea to you after I’m done with this one, as it usually goes, but if it makes you uncomfortable…”

Cal straightens up in his seat in surprise at your words.

“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”

“You don’t like sharing cutlery and stuff like that, right?” you ask, now confused as well, thinking back to when he clearly grabbed another spoon to try the spread.

“Oh, uhm, that’s… never mind.”

He fidgets with his fingers for a second, but when he notices you watching him, he hides his hands under the table. You merely hum in response, taking another sip. Is he… nervous? The mood seems to have shifted again and now you’re completely lost as to what’s going on. All those years of training and studying, yet this man before you remains a mystery.

The rest of the evening is spent eating pancakes and drinking tea, holding a pleasant conversation, albeit a superficial one. At times, it feels like his eyes are completely fixed on you, but within seconds, it’s like he can’t even look at you.

Concluding you’ve overstayed your welcome, you offer to quickly wash up, then be on your way. He merely nods and helps to bring all the dishes to the counter, then goes back to the table. You assume it’s to get another candy from the box. But you don’t mind; you offered to wash up after all.

Silence envelops the whole room, the only sound being the water coming from the tap. As you’re putting the last of the dishes on the little drying rack, you sigh. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea after all. Full of questions and doubts, you dry your hands on the towel, fully set on ending the evening by thanking him for getting the things in the first place, saying you had a good time and keeping your goodbyes short. You aren’t even sure if you’ll manage to appear here with a straight face for dinner tomorrow after everything that happened today, the problem being mainly the things playing out in your own head.

Being so deep in thought, you don’t notice the presence behind you, so when you turn around, you’re almost nose to nose with Cal. You can’t help the surprised little “ah, kriff!” that escapes you at his sudden appearance. With the counter behind you though, there’s nowhere for you to back away to, and Cal isn’t budging from where he stands.

“Don’t forget this,” he says in a low voice and holds up your bracelet, which you had left on the table earlier. He’s so close that you can feel his soft breaths on your face.

“R-right, thanks.”

Looking anywhere but at the Inquisitor, you take the piece of jewellery and put it on your wrist. It takes you a couple of tries though, because your fingers are trembling. In fear, anticipation or something else, you don’t really know. You fumble for a moment until you finally manage to secure the clasp. Cal however, is still standing right in front of you, his hands now coming up to rest on the counter on either side of you. You don’t dare to breathe.

“Uhm, what’s going on?” you ask in an impossibly small voice.

“I think you know.”

It takes every last drop of courage in your body, but you scrape it all together and put it into lifting your eyes to look at Cal. And when your gaze meets his, the breath is knocked out of your lungs entirely. He’s looking down at you so intensely, so hungry, you can’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling. Your brain is long gone, you realise, so now you’re entirely at the mercy of what Cal does and whatever physical reaction that gets out from you. And it seems he’s very much aware of this, enjoying the state you find yourself in, if that tiny side smile is anything to go by as he leans in next to your head. You go completely stiff.

“If you want me to back off, tell me now,” he says directly into your ear.

You take a shaky breath, and the last of the voices in your head all but screaming at you to get out of there is abruptly shut up. Anything and everything in your mind and body is Cal Kestis right now, and for a split second, you wonder if he’s using some Force mind trick on you or if this is all you. That thought dissipates instantaneously though when you feel Cal’s breath tickle your ear, still waiting for your response. You merely shake your head, and it’s so subtle he probably wouldn’t have caught it if he didn’t have his face right next to yours.

With his cheek now against yours, you can feel him smile. Properly smile.

“Good,” is all he says, and before you know it, his lips are on yours.

His arms snake around your waist, pressing your body into his, and he devours you with such ferocity that you need a moment to regain control in your limbs. Once you do, your hands are all over him. One fists the shirt at his back, the other goes into the hair at the nape of his neck and you give it a gentle, tentative pull. The groan that leaves his lips is intoxicating, and you know right then and there that there’s no going back from this. Not tonight, not ever. This is all it took for you to know you’re officially addicted to Cal Kestis.

He tilts his head to deepen the kiss further, his tongue pressing against your own and pushing both your hips into the counter behind you. You can’t help the low moan that escapes you. Any other day you would have felt embarrassed, but today you don’t care. You’re making out with a kriffin’ Inquisitor and it’s great. As if he could hear your thoughts, Cal gives your bottom lip a nip, starting to leave a trail of bites and licks along your jaw, while his hands slide to the backside of your thighs. Before you can process what he’s doing, you're being lifted onto the free counter space like you weigh nothing, with Cal standing between your legs. One of his hands slowly moves further up your thigh, and your whole body feels like it’s on fire.

Suddenly, something occurs to you, and with a breathless “wait” you tilt your head to the side to take a breather and try to regain any rational thought you may have left. You’re both panting heavily, and while he looks openly annoyed at your interruption, he places one last kiss on the corner of your mouth, then backs away a bit to let you take a break.

“What,” he finally says, and it’s less of a question and more of an impatient bark, as you still haven’t said anything.

Your brain is going at a thousand miles an hour, there’s too much input from everywhere, but you still manage to find the words somehow.

“I just- This is- Not that I’m not enjoying this immensely, but… why? All of a sudden?” you ask, finally feeling like you’ve caught your breath again.

Cal huffs with a slight roll of his eyes, running a hand through his hair, and while you probably should be a little bit offended at his gesture, you’re suddenly way too focused on what you have the chance of witnessing: the way his hair messily falls into his face once he drops his hand. The clear blush adorning his freckled and scarred cheeks, nose and even the tips of his ears. The puffy lips, mouth still parted. The backlighting coming from the main room behind him almost gives him an ethereal glow, making the golden hue in his eyes stand out even more. You commit the image to memory.

“The bracelet, when I touched it earlier,” he starts explaining, but when he sees you just as dishevelled as him, he decides he can’t be bothered right now. “It’s called psychometry, I’ll explain it to you later.”

With an impatient grunt, he just picks you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist.

“Right now there are more pressing matters,” he mumbles into your shoulder.

You realise you’re being carried towards the door that’s always been closed every time you come over. When you both approach, they slide open with a hiss and you’re met with his bedroom, as you’ve always speculated that’s what lies behind it.

Letting you fall backwards onto his large bed rather unceremoniously, he starts climbing on top of you, but before putting any weight on you, he stops and looks down at you with a serious face.

“Last chance to back out,” he offers.

You can’t help at chuckle, and grin up at him.

“As if.”

Your hands shoot up to hold him by the collar. You have no idea where the confidence even comes from at this point.

“I want you, Cal,” you say breathlessly, and that’s all it takes for him to be on top of and all over you again. Let’s just say pancakes and tea aren't the only treats you’ll be getting today.

— — —

A/N 2: inq!cal has a sweet tooth, honk if you agree

A/N 3: where my palitos de la selva gang at B)

~~~~~

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