Tumgik
crying-shewrote · 2 years
Text
The Holiday Arrangement
Andy Barber x Reader
Author's note: Starting yet another series after I've been neglecting the others for weeks Masterlists Summary: When co-parenting during the holidays becomes difficult to navigate, Y/n brings a proposal to her ex-husband, Andy; spend Christmas together- for the sake of their daughter. Their already complicated arrangement becomes even more messy new memories dredge up buried feelings.
Chapter 1
Chapter Summary: Y/n and Andy's daughter, Grace, wants things back to the way they used to be before the divorce and even if they can't admit it, her parents may want the same thing. Warnings: Angst.
Tumblr media
“But I want Christmas to be the way it was before.”
Y/n sighed, soothingly rubbing Grace’s arm as she tucked her close. “Bunny,” she breathed as her lips fell into a deep frown, “I know its tough now that everything’s changing, but its not all bad. You get to decorate two trees and get to open presents twice; how cool is that?” 
“But I don’t want everything to change,” her five year old bemoaned, and Y/n could feel her tears saturating the thick fabric of her sweater. When Grace pulled away from her embrace a little, her big, stormy blue eyes- which looked much like her father’s- were glassy and red rimmed, and it broke Y/n’s heart. The divorce had been tough on her and Andy, but it had been significantly worse for their young daughter, who simply couldn’t fathom why her parents weren’t together anymore.
“Doesn’t daddy love me anymore?” The question came out of nowhere and ripped Y/n away from her thoughts
“Of course he does!” Y/n gasped. That must have been the hardest thing to explain to Grace about the spilt; the rest could easily go over a five year old’s head and she and Andy had done their best to maintain a co-parenting relationship that was grounded in civility but there was no easy way to explain why a moving truck had come and taken all of her father’s things away, or why she could only spend half the week with him a his new place, a townhouse about twenty minutes away. “Bunny,” Y/n shifted so she could take her daughter’s small face in her hands, “Your daddy loves you more than anything else in the whole world.” 
“Then why won’t he come home?” She sniffled, clumsily wiping salty tears off her cheek with the back of her small hand.  
“Well,” Y/n paused, trying to explain it the way the stack of parenting books on her nightstand had suggested, “Daddy doesn’t live here anymore. He has a new house, remember? And sometimes you’re gonna be there with him, and sometimes you’re gonna be here with me.”
“But its not fair!” Suddenly, Grace pulled herself away from Y/n’s touch, “This is all your fault!” She fumed as a fresh wave of tears rained down on her full cheeks. 
Her daughter’s words stung, but she knew that they were just the product of frustration and hurt. “Gracey,” Y/n stood as Grace stomped away from the sofa and towards the stairs.  
“I want daddy!” She fumed, little stomps finally taking her to the top of the steps, while Y/n lingered at the bottom, hand grasping the wooden railing.  
“I-” Y/n had just put one foot on the first step, when the doorbell rang, the sound traveling through the house and beckoned her to the front door. His timing was stellar; she rolled her eyes at the thought. At least he’d be able to get Grace to settle down a bit. Grace had been a daddy’s girl from the minute she could recognize the sound of his voice- months before she was even born- possibly another reason why she was taking their separation so hard. 
With a huff of irrational irritation, Y/n trekked to the front door, yanking it open when she reached it. While she adored that Andy had been the best father a little girl could ask for, it did sometimes annoy her that he always got to be the one that swooped on hard days like a hero while she was always the bad guy; the one who made her eat the vegetables, the one who made her put her favorite blanket in the wash after she'd been playing with it all day, the one who split the family up. “You’re early,” she greeted with a grumble, trying to ignore what the sight of him still did to her.   
That little ember in the center of her chest that burned a little brighter whenever they were in the same room.   
“Nice to see you too,” Andy licked his lips, “Can I come in? Its fucking cold out here,” he scoffed with a little, dry chuckle, though, when her annoyance didn’t let up, Andy added, “But I’m good with freezing too.” 
Y/n’s expression softened and she shook her head. Pulling the door open a bit wider, she gestured for him to come in, retreating down the hallway as he stepped inside. “Uh…Gracey’s upstairs,” she rubbed her sweater clad forearm as she finally admitted, “She’s having a bit of a meltdown.”  
They’d both paused near at the breakfast bar, which was, at the moment, littered with bagged and boxed up Christmas decorations. Y/n had planned on putting up some of it during the three and a half days that Grace would be gone, while things like ornaments for the tree alone with some other things would wait for when she returned, so they could do it together. “Did something happen?” He furrowed his brows while absently picking at the edge of a blue tinted bag that held a wreath for the front door. 
Y/n shrugged, “No….yes…she’s upset about you not being here,” he bent his head, an unconscious gesture prompted by guilt, “She doesn’t understand what’s going on,” Y/n swallowed thickly as she blinked back moisture, “She says its my fault.”  
“Its not,” Andy reassured sympathetically, reaching out to touch her forearm, “You know that, right?” 
“Yeah, yeah,” Y/n fibbed with a nod. Truthfully, sometimes it did feel like her fault; she was the one that initiated the divorce proceedings in the first place. Andy had begged her to work with him on fixing things, arguing that they loved each other, but in the end, Y/n had been the one to put her foot down and insist that love wasn’t enough anymore. She remained steadfast in the belief that relationships- and marriages, by extension- couldn’t survive on just love. Honesty, trust and emotional availability was important too;  
You couldn’t just love someone, you had to let them get close enough so they’d know you did- not freeze them out.
“She’s upstairs,” Y/n stepped away from his touch, and awkwardly, Andy retracted his hand and stuffed it in the pocket of his dark jeans, “She wants you, so maybe you should….”
“Yeah, of course,” Andy nodded, brushing past her to get to the stairs, though, pausing when he noted a box of string lights and garland that were usually fitted to the roof and around the windows, “I can put those up for you, if you want,” he gestured to the box.  
“No its okay,” Y/n waved dismissively, “I’ve already got someone coming over tomorrow to do it.” It was in fact and outright lie; there was no one coming over, Y/n hadn’t even thought about how she’d get them up, it wasn’t like she had any interest in getting up there herself. “But thanks.” 
Andy’s hopeful expression fell, but he didn’t protest, instead continuing towards the stairs and adding as he did; “Alright well….if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” 
“Mhm,” their eyes met briefly, and for a moment, she considered telling him the truth. But then he turned his face away and carried on up the stairs, leaving Y/n to head back towards the kitchen and making a mental note to ask her friends if they knew anyone that could do it in such short notice. 
Not really knowing what to do with herself, Y/n tried to busy her hands by ‘organizing’ some of the decorations in the boxes and storage bins, a pretty useless feat considering they'd been organized before she’d put them away after last Christmas. Still, she carried on, coordinating figurines and ornaments based on different themes. Y/n was just about to transfer a Santa Claus figure decked off in blue and silver when two pairs of footsteps ended in two familiar figures pausing at the landing. Andy with Grace's pink, princess print bag in hand and her daughter, with tear stained cheeks and her favorite stuffed toy clutched close to her chest. 
"Do you have something to say to mommy?" Andy encouraged, affectionately touching the top of Grace's head.  
After a moment of shuffling her feet, clad in bright shoes that Andy must have put on for her before heading downstairs, Grace approached. Y/n moved around from behind the counter and dropped to her knees so she and their little one were at eye level, just as they were within six inches of each other. "I'm sorry, mommy," Grace mumbled meekly, "I didn't mean to yell at you." 
"I know, Bunny. Sometimes its hard not to when we're feeling big things, huh?" Y/n frowned, reaching out to brush a few strands away from Grace's cheek and she nodded stiffly, "Can I have a hug?" Grace nodded again, before diving towards her chest and throwing her arms around Y/n's neck. In return, Y/n flattened her palms against Grace's back, holding her in a tight hug. 
They stayed like that for a moment, until Y/n realized that she was cutting into Andy's time with Grace. "I'm sure your daddy has a lot planned for this afternoon," Y/n sniffled softly as she pulled away. She'd never admit it, but she missed being a family; she still loved Andy and a very small part of her still wished they could have worked things out- that he could have let her in.  
"Uh, yeah," Andy cleared his throat, "I don't have any decorations," which was understandable since he'd only moved out just before they'd started proceedings, about ten months earlier, "So we're gonna go shopping, at the Christmas village," the one they used to go to together every year since Grace was born, she'd planned on taking her the next week, but knew that it wouldn't have been the same without Andy. Presumably noting the falter in her expression, Andy hastily offered, "Do you wanna come with? We can wait for you to get ready."
Before Y/n could respond, Grace's face lit up and she jumped excitedly, "Please come mommy." Her big eyes were alight and her cute smile was broad, and when Y/n caught Andy's eyes, she thought there was something in them, something that resembled a little spark of hope. She didn't want to disappoint them. 
But she couldn't stand to confuse Grace either. Seeing them together, pretending to be a perfect family only to separate again by the evening- especially so soon  after the divorce- couldn't be good for her.
"You know," Y/n sighed, glancing at the disarray; boxes cluttering the counter and dining table, huge bags on the floor and an undecorated tree in the living room, "I have a lot to do here," which she could probably get done the next day, "And I have some work that I've gotta send to the office, maybe next time."  
"Please mommy," Grace pouted. 
It broke Y/n's heart to turn her daughter down but it felt like it would be the right decision in the long run, "Not today Bunny," she walked over to Grace, who was standing close to Andy's side, "But I promise we'll do something fun when you get back, alright."  
"Fine," Grace grumbled, averting her gaze, and when Y/n bent to peck her forehead, she pulled away and stomped off, that time in the direction of the door.   
"This could have waited, and you know it," Andy hissed venomously, clenching his jaw as he turned away to catch up with Grace. 
"Andy-"   
"I don't have time for this," he huffed, shaking his head, before pausing for a few seconds, "You know, I know you’ve got your issues with me, but she shouldn't suffer because of that."  
"That's not what this is," she followed him down the hall, catching a glimpse of Grace standing at the door, waiting for Andy.   
"Yeah?" Andy scoffed, helping Grace into her puffer coat, "Well that's what it feels like," he said, before pulling the door open and taking Grace's hand as they headed out. 
Tumblr media
After strapping Grace into her car seat, Andy piled into the driver’s side with a sigh. It was obvious that she was upset about Y/n declining to join them at the Christmas village, and admittedly, he was hurt too- his hurt usually had a way of coming off as anger, and judging by the way Grace had reacted, it was an inherited trait. Andy hadn’t meant to be so harsh with Y/n, but he couldn’t help but feel like she was putting their problems above what Grace wanted and it stung. Their daughter should always come first. 
Of course, Andy would never, ever even think that Y/n was a bad mother, if anything, he sometimes thought that she was the better parent. She was the patient one, the nurturing one, the one that had read all the parenting books she could put her hands on; Y/n was an excellent mother and it wasn’t a secret that she made him a better father. But she was also mad at him, for reasons he couldn’t quite understand, or maybe ones he never tried to; the papers had cited irreconcilable differences, her lawyer had called him distant and emotionally unavailable. 
Andy happened to think he was plenty available, emotionally and otherwise. Though something in the back of his mind did sometimes protest that he should have tried harder, maybe he should have agreed to counseling, like she wanted.   
As he turned onto the main road, Andy glanced into the rear view mirror, catching Grace’s evident despondence as she played with the floppy ear of her stuffed bear. Hoping to cheer her up, he tapped a few icons on the car’s music system and scrolled through a couple playlists until he found one they’d made together the last time he’d had Grace; a collection of Christmas songs that she liked. “Come on, kiddo,” he tapped his fingers against the wheel in time with the Andy Williams tune, “You love this one.”   
Grace didn’t answer, instead turning to look out the window.  Not knowing how else to engage her, at least while driving, Andy started singing along; loudly and off key. “It’s the holiday season, and Santa Claus is coming round!” When he checked the mirror again, Andy caught her fighting a grin, “Really gonna make me sing alone, huh?” He teased before continuing, “Alright. It’s the holiday season and Santa Claus has got a toy for-”
“Every good girl and good little boy! Santa’s a great big bundle o’joy!” When Grace finally joined in, dancing excitedly in her seat, Andy grinned broadly.   
Thankfully, her cheerful mood lasted for the rest of the ride to the park, where the fair had been set up. Even after he’d backed his Audi into a spot between a red jeep and a black station wagon, Grace kept singing and he waited until Frosty the Snowman was finished before shutting off the engine and getting out. “Alright,” Andy began, undoing the buckles of her car seat, “What do you wanna do first? Decorations or feed the reindeer?” 
“Umm,” Grace hummed as Andy set her on the ground, fixing her hat before shutting the door and taking her hand, “Feed the reindeer!” She beamed, all traces of her former upset completely evaporated.  
“Great choice, Bunny,” Andy chuckled, leading her towards the entrance. Just ahead of them, was a young family; a toddler and an older kid about Grace’s age accompanied by a young couple. They looked sweet and happy, and reminded Andy of the kind of life he’d wanted with Y/n; before their marriage had taken a turn for the worst, they’d been talking about having another baby- they could have been that family.  
But they weren’t.  
The reminder was enough to have his shoulders slumping and his expression falling; he still wanted that with Y/n, even if they were divorced. With a well hidden frown, Andy held onto Grace’s hand and led her past the security while trying to shake off the fact that he wasn’t yet over his ex. 
490 notes · View notes
crying-shewrote · 2 years
Text
anti-hero
Tumblr media
I'll make a summary when I'm fully awake and not sleep deprived.
"I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming For the last time"
Taylor swift
pairing: bale!Bruce Wayne x Original Female Character
Word count: 831 words
Chapter 1
“Begin Again"⠀
⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ‿෴🦇෴‿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My eyes begin to hurt as I continue to strain them. I pull my left sleeve up to look at the time on my Casio watch, 5:23 AM. I didn’t feel safe and certainly couldn’t go to sleep with the possibility of anything happening. We had been on the road for more than ten straight hours with one being a sitting duck on this boat. All because of a fucking letter. 
I wrap Martha's blanket around her tighter. Her stuffed pet dog, Luna, is suffocating between her arms and chest. She stirs and moves closer to my own chest. Her thick brown hair is braided into pigtails and is messy from moving so much. 
I watch the family in front of us begin to wake their teenagers up because the ferry would arrive in Gotham in twenty minutes. I groan mentally as I remember the small child on me and her hatred of waking up early. Martha had been sleeping when I carried her into the waitng area. 
I was about to nudge her when an announcement goes through the speaker, “Ladies and gentlemen, our trip has ended. We hope you enjoy your stay if you’re visiting and if you’re a Gothamite, welcome home.” The loudness of the speakers was enough to ensure anyone who had been sleeping was now wide awake.
“Mommy no!” Marth’as voice is laced with sleepiness. She grabs one end of the blanket and wraps it around her head. Then she moves her legs to be closer to the back of the seat. For nearly an hour she slept with her upper body on me, and her legs dangeling on hard plastic chairs. It’s a miracle she didn’t awake before because of her particularness when it comes to being comfortable.
“Martha, you have to get up.” She shakes her head. Stubborn as her parents. I shake her tiny seven year-old body playfully, “Pumpkin, if you don’t get up you’re going to miss looking at the river.” As if these were the magic words, she rises like a zombie all perked up. “Where mamí, where is it?”
The mother in front of us laughs along with her husband. Clearly, both of them had been watching the entire interaction. Martha is folding her blanket and hands it to me and waits impatiently for me to place it in my duffle bag. My cheecks slightly redden and nod to the couple as we start making our way to outside. 
“Wait!" The husband stops us and I step protectively in front of Martha. He points to her, “Is this your first time in Gotham?” My offspring tilts her head in confusion, which I don’t blame her because she can barely rmeember our home address. “Yes," I answer for her.
The middle-aged man hands a quarter to her, “Everybody that comes to Gotham for the first time gets a chance to wish. You take this and throw it at the river.” Two workers start advising that those with cars to head to the deck. I thank the man and Martha shyly says "Thank you too." She starts speeding up as the crowd gathers at the exit.
“Mattie slow down.” I catch up to her and hear her mumbling. We get close to the edge of the deck. She tries to step closer to the rail, I stop her quickly. “Nope!"
“Why not?” I cross my arms, “It’s too close, you could fall.”
Martha’s eyes become glossy and I almost give into her act, “But I have to make a wish mommy!”
“I can throw it for you and you can make your wish.” She shifts her glance from me to the river. After contemplating for a second, she agrees and gives me the coin not before whispering her wish very quietly. “Now you have to kiss it for the wish to come true. 
I gasp, “He did not say that.” Martha giggles. I airkiss it and throw it far. Well, I tried to at least. My throw has never been that good. “Let's go munchkin.” I spot our forest green car as we walk. I help her get into her seat after I accomodate my bag in the trunk. 
Mattie asks me for some music as people "nicely" ask me to move. I turn to 95.1 and a Shawn Mendes song erupts in the car. The vehicle from behind honks and I step on the gas softly to increase my speed. 
Six minutes later, we’re back on the road and I see Gotham for the first time in eight years. I stop by a drive-thru to get breakfast and order chicken bisuits, hashbrown patties, orange juice, and a coffee.  
I enter his address on GPS, my brain not remembering that well how to get there. My fingers slightly tremble as I click on the start button.
“Make a left on Wellington Street and then proceed to go stragiht for three miles.”
12 miles until I reached my destination. I had about 18 minutes to collect myself.
A/N: ch. 2 will be posted sometime this week. Will try to post every week, which day? idk
4 notes · View notes
crying-shewrote · 2 years
Text
lover of mine by 5sos
Firsts things first, I know, I KNOW that I'm late to the party when it comes to this song. It was released in 2020, and it makes me sad I didn't really see any hype on it. or if im being honest, it was probably because my feed on any social media isn't filled with a lot of the band, even though I love a lot of their music.
So how did this beautful track appear on my cellular device? Through Spotify and its radio (playlist developed based on other songs that are similar to the artist either by genre and other listening habits on listerners including yourself).
The vibes this track gave:
tvd types of dances like when caroline was dancing with klaus or the miss mystic fall competition dances. The whole your-hand-touching-their-hand
forbidden love but they and your last chance of being together is a last dance
I don't know how to else explain so I'm going to do it by gifs and my favorite lyrics
trope of the guy losing the girl once and his mission is to never do it again
like that scene of kate and anthony dancing
"Dance around the living room Lose me in the sight of you"
Tumblr media
"I'll never give you away 'Cause I've already made that mistake"
Tumblr media
"All my regrets And things you can't forget Light them all up Kiss them goodbye"
Tumblr media
"Take all of me Deep to where your secrets hide Where we've been a thousand times"
Tumblr media
"If my name never fell off your lips again I know it'd be such a shame"
and then how it sounds?!?! umm amazing. luke and calum *chefs kisses* but also ashton and michael. like everythings sounds so good especially the guitar and drums
I've replayed this song like a bajillion times. send help :')
Tumblr media
1 note · View note