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crying-over-dead-wizards · 2 years

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i dont have any friends who would be in this fandom so i had to come here for an opinion,,, i wrote this around 2 am but now im not really sure if its worth continuing/posting. could i please get an honest opinion ?

it hurt. it really hurt. regulus doesn’t think he had ever experienced such pain, not even when his mother used the cruciatus curse to discipline him.

his throat felt like it was bleeding, his lungs were on fire. hundreds and hundreds of hands grabbed him and prevented him from breaking through the now messy surface of the lake in the hope of one last breath.

he wanted to scream, he wanted to yell for help, but the moment he parted his lips he was forced to swallow water until his blood and insides were replaced with that dirty liquid. regulus wasn’t made for pain. his parents put him through the hell of pain and he learned, he had to learn how to act like nothing’s happening to him, how to hide the smallest signs of being in pain, but that doesn’t mean that he got used to it.

he never, ever did. the only thing that made him survive all that was the presence of his brother. even when the pain was unbearable, even when it felt like hot iron was burning him inside and out, the knowledge that he can cry in his brother’s embrace after their mother was finished with them gave him a weird sense of comfort.

but then sirius left. the comfort he had taken for granted disappeared overnight. he has been fighting against the ideology his parents were standing by for so long and now it was forced onto him with twice as much force as it was before; he broke under the weight of it.

he was forced to join the death eaters and stand by voldemort, to help him with his cause. for months he thought this was the end, he can’t change a thing, he was going to die as a loyal subject of the dark lord. up till he found out how voldemort tries to escape from death.

from then on he felt like he got another chance from someone above to redeem his sins. he didn’t care about anything, only to find the location of the horcrux he was so eager to destroy. and he did. despite everything he managed to do something heroic in the last hours of his eighteen years.

he felt his consciousness slip away as he was dragged deeper and deeper towards the bottom. as strange as it might sound but he didn't feel regret. he was dying, maybe he had already died but he knew that he would do it again and again until his sacrifice wasn't paying out.

before darkness fell over him he saw something flash over the water. he closed his eyes calmly while imagining james’ face. peacefulness rushed over him as the last thing he saw was the face of the most important person in his life.

#regulus black #james potter #jegulus fic #angst #regulus deserved to live !!

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