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crazypigeonlady · 2 years

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The other side of Kyle

!Warning! This story is about gay pigeons! Pigeon homophobia will not be accepted!

As storys about Kyle start usually, this story begins also with Kyle being completly high on Quappen. What this story makes so special is that Kyle doesn´t hurt anybody while he is on Quappen. So if you are here for the normal aggresive and inapropiate Kyle, you won´t find him here today.

After Kyle ate his normal potion of Larrys Quappen, he flew to Hans-Jürgen. His flying-style was uncontrolled, swaying, titubating. It´s a deep dark night when Kyle finaly arrives at Hans-Jürgens nest.

Kyle (babbling): “HAAAAAAN! HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN! HAN-JÜGEN! Wage ub!”

H-J (half asleep): “It´s still dark, let me sleep.”

Kyle: “Wage ub, I meed to tell you soming.”

H-J (slowly awakening): “Kyle? What is it about?”

Kyle: “I need to well you soming.”

H-J: “And what?”

Kyle: “I´m sowy”

H-J: “About what?”

Kyle: “Ewerything”

H-J: “And what is everything?”

Kyle: “The fie and your caw wecently ... and thad I aways agwue.”

H-J: “Why are you sorry about that?”

Kyle: “Becaws I rewi wike you and I don´t wike awuwing wid you.”

H-J: “Wait a second. Where is the Kyle I know? Arguing is your life and I love to provoke you.”

Kyle: “No ... agwuing is nod my life.”

H-J: “So? What is it then?”

Kyle: “You”

There were a couple of secondes silence that felt like houres in which Hans-Jürgen stared at Kyle and thought about how much of that was true.

Finaly he asked:

H-J: “Are you serious about that?”

Kyle: “Absoludly”

H-J: “You were by Larry wasn´t you?”

Kyle: “How do you know?”

H-J: “Every time you ate some of his Quappen you get so emotional and start talking like this. But this time you ate a little bit more as usual, don´t you?”

Kyle: “No”

H-J: “No?”

Kyle: “I don´t ade more wan the ower tims and I´m nod emonial, I´m wust twelling the truth. Larry´s Quabn just loosd my beak.”

H-J: “Is this true?”

Kyle: “Yes”

H-J: “Than I think it´s time for you to go to bed an close your eyes.”

Kyle: “You god a subwise for me?”

H-J: “Yes, I got one for you, so lay down and close them.”

Kyle: “Okwey.”

While Hans-Jürgen acts as if he is searching for Kyles suprise, Kyle gets sleepier and sleepier until he fall asleep, overwhelmed from the fading Quappen in his circulation. Hans-Jürgen who know exactly this would happen, because it happend a couple of times before, comes silently back to Kyle, checks if he really is asleep - he is - and puts a blanket over him so Kyle doesn´t freeze in the night.

H-J: “Have a good night Kyle.”

#writeblr #creative writing #short story #inaccurate pigeons #pigeon story #pigeons #dont judge me #gay pigeons

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crazypigeonlady · 2 years

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Poor happy Percival

One evening Hans-Jürgen, Sascha and Norbert are sitting at the marketplace. They are hoping to catch some left overs from the nearby restaurants. But to be honest they are all waiting for Mike dropping some fries, because Mike eats like a pig. It´s thursday and because of that it is not unusuall that Kyle isn´t with the other ones. Normaly on a thursday evening Kyle is watching the ducks gaggle and waggel group from a high ash, while they are swimming the toadpond around. Often Kyle flys unrecognised above them, changes his voice to a high one so that the ducks think he is one of them, and says something like: “Did you hear it? Edna, the giant goose, has eaten one of her babys”. The ducks, all in chaos of course, started to discuss this meanwhile Kyle is laughing his ass of.

But this time Kyle isn´t watching the ducks. On the way his attention fell onto Larry who just layed his eggs. Worst time ever because Kyle promptly changed his direction and swooped down to him. Larry was to shocked to realise what was about to happen as Kyle already ate his precious eggs. The effect started immediately. Forgotten were the ducks and the jokes he wanted to play. Instead Kyle flew directly to the market place where the other were, because he had a great Idea.

The others recognised him pretty fast because he flew like a falling piece of paper - slow and from one side to another. When Kyle tried to explain his plan to his friends, they didn’t understand. Just a few brocken word’s reached their ears besides his mumbling. The words they understood were Zoo, Percival and Idea, which couldn’t be very hopeful.

For your understanding you need to know, that Percival is a old peacock who lives in the zoo in the next bigger town. A few weeks ago he lost his wive. It was a natural death which was long ago clear that it would happen. But Percival was still in bitter grief, undastandable of course.

So when the others heard Percivals name they already knew that this wouldn’t end great and that they needed to stop Kyle. They tried to talk to Kyle and redirect him away from the zoo, but he didn’t listen. Or can’t because of the many Quappen he ate.

When they arrived, they found Percival next to the little pond in his cherish, where he used to rest with his loved one, starring in the green water. Kyle went straight to him, the others were forgotten, and began to ask Percival Questions. To be exactly, he started to ask Percival one type of question again and again.

Where is your wife Perc? Where did she went? Is she in the water you are starring? Where is she? Did she left you? Found she a better one? …

This goes on and one till Percival explode. He began screaming and picking at Kyle and ren after him when Kyle tried to escape. Normally Kyle would easily shake Percival of, but normally he wouldn’t have eaten so many Quappen. Tho they went for each other for a couple of minutes. The others couldn’t do much about that unless they would risk to get hurt between the fronts.

The fight endet suddenly while the two were in the sky, still fighting, when they came to close to the electric fence and Percival touched it in an inattentive moment. Percival fell to the ground, still shaking from the remaining electricity in his body, and he didn’t wake up until the next morning.

The others tried to wake him up, but nothing helped, not the cold water that they threw in his face, not Saschas scream and of curse not Kyles slap. They put him back in his bed and flew away because there was nothing left that they could do.

On the next day they flew back to him, Kyle very sorry for what he had done, also he couldn’t remember, but the other told him enough. They all hoped that Percival was good and awake.

They hoped right. As they arrived Percival was happily duckling around. Giggeling on everything he saw. The confusion was marked bright in the pigeons face. They hoped indeed that Percival was better but they didn´t expect this. They expected something like Percival sitting next to his pond again, but not this drastically change in his emotions. The confusion grow even bigger when they started talking to Percival. He didn´t knew who they are or who he was or what happend yesterday or the days befor. He woke up with nothing on his mind. Percival even forgott his wife and the loss he struggeld with. Turns out that the only damage the electric fence did to Percival was that he lost his memory and the ability to keep new ones. After that everything someone told him or he did, he completly forgott in a couple of minutes. Someone might say that this is really sad and Kyle is an asshole for what he did to Percival. The second one is right, Kyle is an asshole, but Percivals live is also better because of it, he is no longer sad but always happy about everything he sees. The four Troublemakers keept visitig him, they feel guilty about what happend, and Percival is always excited when he sees them.

#writerblr #writers of tumblr #creative writing #pigeon story #short story #inaccurate pigeons #i have nothing better to do #dont judge me #peacock #sad peacock #happy peacock #Quappen warning

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crazypigeonlady · 2 years

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My car, the inspiration for shitapocalypse

#pigeons #dirty car #inspiration #shitapocalypse #own story #hate my life

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crazypigeonlady · 2 years

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Shitapokalypse

Kyle has his favourite spot for when he is having a shit. It’s a big tree with many leaf’s in the summer and it’s standing next to the parking lot from the train station. So the other birds don’t go to this spot very often because it’s loud and no food is available there. But for Kyle it’s the perfect place to take a nice shit on his own. The people don’t care, exactly, they don’t even recognise that a bird is there because it is only Kyle and one bird can’t make that much poop to be recognisable.

So you would think. But Kyle is a special pigeon with a special problem. Quappen. Kyle love to eat these small baby’s from Larry the frog. But his stomach doesn’t like them. So every time Kyle eats Larry’s Quappen, which happens two ore three times a month because Larry doesn’t have the charakter to stop Kyle, Kyle needs to take a huge shit. That wasn’t a problem for the people who park at the train station as long as it happens ony these few times. They wondered how a bird can shit this much or if there were unusual many birds around, but they toke it as it was and didn’t think much about it.

This goes on and on for years, until Kyle escalated one week. It started because of Larry who layed much more Quappen as he usually did. This led Kyle to eat much more Quappen as he usually did on every day in that Week. Kyles reason for that was that Quappen aren’t as delicious when they are older than a couple of days. Tho in this special week, Kyle toke also every day a hughe shit on his favourite poop tree. Which now was recognised by the citizens and they didn’t like these change of behaviour. As a revenge, they cut the trees around that parking lot. This again made Kyle angry and as revenge he started to shit all over every parking care there. At this moment all went out of control. The people cut more and more trees which made every bird angry so the birds started to shit all over the town, tho the people cut more trees and this goes on and on for a few weeks. At the end nobody really knew why this dispute even started, but everybody was sure that the other was the one who started it.

This would go on until forever, if one kid, little Susi, didn’t plant a tree in her garden, as a school biology project. The birds saw it as a sign for freedom and stopped pooping on the stuff from the citizens. The citizens on the other hand recognised pretty fast that the bird’s no longer ruin ther property with their disgusting shit and started to see the destroyed landscape. So, because the birds were no longer a problem, they focused on the nature problem and started planting many trees again.

Now, everything looks just as it looks before that time, which everybody knows as the shitapocalypse and Kyle can shit on his favourite spot again in freedom,

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #creative writing #own story #pigeon story #inaccurate pigeons #dont judge me #pigeon #short story

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crazypigeonlady · 2 years

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The Frie-Fight

Kyle is flying downtown, as he is always doing on a Saturday morning, in hopes that he can find something to eat because the humans there tend to disregard theirs. He is flying over the human heads, as he sees a lost frie lying on the ground. Exited he dive full speed to the delicious snack, sure he will be the first one there, because nobody else could have seen it before him. But at the same time as Kyles feet touch the ground Hans-Jürgen aims for it. They see each other and there eyes starting a intense fight about who will get the frie. Who will win?

Kyle: “If you eat this frie, I swear, for the rest of your life you won´t get happy again.”

H-J takes a step to the frie.

H-J: “Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, why talking like that you won´t do anything to me. You got a big mouth with nothing behing.”

Kyle: “Hans-Jürgen I dare you, don´t go a step further. Not even a single one. I am serious about that.”

H-J: “And what if I do so?”

H-J goes another step to the frie.

Kyle with a slightly frustrated face: “Just ask Norbert, his babies are still picking out the shit I threw at them two months ago “

Because he heard his name, Norbert flies to the two fighting pigeons.

Norbert: “What is this about? What should he ask me Kyle?”

Kyle: “He should ask you what happen, if you make me angry”

Norbert: “Oh no, don´t do that Hans-Jürgen, that´s not worth as long as it is not about a life-or-death decision.”

H-J: “But it is about life or death! My babies need some food!”

Kyle: “First of all, we all know you don’t have any babies! And second, there is plenty of other food for your imaginary babies.”

H-J: “Why don´t you then take the plenty of other food and let me have this frie?”

Sascha flies to them, as he heard the word frie so often.

Sascha: “Did I heard frie? I know a great joke about fries.”

Kyle: “Shut the fuck up Sascha your jokes are so fricking bad, every time I hear one I need to throw up.”

Sascha: “No, no. This time it is a really good one.”

Norbert: “I don´t think it´s the right moment for a joke Sascha.”

Sascha: “Have you ever seen a frie run threw the forest?”

…

Sascha: “No?”

…

Sascha: “There you see how fast they can run. It´s funny isn´t it?”

Kyle: “That´s enough. If anyone just breaths out loud I will pick one of his claws of!”

H-J: “So, you see I really think that this frie belongs to me, I saw it first.”

Kyle getting really angry and starting to curr.

Norbert: “Run Hans-Jürgen, run!”

Kyle: “YOU ARE DEAD HANS-JÜRGEN! I WILL KILL YOU!”

Hans-Jürgen flies screeming away from the other closely followed by a furious Kyle, who is picking for Hans-Jürgens claw.

Norbert: “That was so clear, Hans-Jürgen knows exactly how Kyle ticks and still he provokes him every time.”

Sascha: “That´s just how there are, always arguing like an old married couple until Kyle explode.”

A couple of minutes pass bye and Kyle and Hans-Jürgen are coming back. Hans-Jürgen with a claw lesser and Kyle with a pleased smile. The first thing Kyle does after his feet hit the ground, he eats the frie with a satisfied face.

Kyle: “So, now hopefully everybody knows that EVERY frie belongs to me!”

H-J: “I think the next frie belongs to me, because you just ate this one.”

Kyle: “Do you want to lose another claw?”

Norbert: “Don´t you two dare to start another argument right after the last one. Kyle you aren´t supposed to eat every claw from Hans-Jürgen. He needs them on his own! And Hans-Jürgen don´t provoke Kyle every time, it hurts my nerves.”

Kyle: “That´s none of your business Norbert or do you want that I go to your babies again?”

H-J: “Don´t threat him, he doesn´t want you some bad and it´s not good for your blood pressure either! Youn know what the Owl said Kyle.”

Kyle: “You can´t tell me what to do! None of you!”

Karen, the pigeons who always sits on the rooftop of the town hall: “BE QUIET!”

Kyle, H-J, Sascha, Norbert: „Shut your beak Karen!”

#writeblr #writing #writers of tumblr #pigeon #creative writing #inaccurate pigeons #short story #pigeon story #I have nothing better to do #own story #dont judge me

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