cooltf2facts
Cool Team Fortress 2 Facts!
Some true facts about your favorite Mercenaries!
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A mysterious puzzle box has showed up at the base. It has incomprehensible writing on it and a slot that looks to be a keyhole. No one knows how to open it, but Pyro has been kicking it around like a tin can.
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Walks into spy’s room in the middle of the night
Steals his cigarettes, replaces his wine with jarate and takes his fancy suits
‘Until next time’-🦴
Uh-oh! Bad decision! Spy is now rapidly approaching your location.
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-zap!-
Solider you now have a burger that can never run out!
If take a bite it will regenerate!
-Wizard anon
Soldier examines the burger cautiously, before taking an experimental bite. When the burger regenerates, he gasps out loud. “Oh! My god…”
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In his camper, Sniper suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat. He recalls that he once was a werewolf…is he still a werewolf? He doesn’t remember, oddly enough. His concern fades away, though, and he ends up watching nature documentaries on the TV.
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-walks past medic carrying one of Archimedes’s feathers-
Bonjour doctor!
-waves and walks back to mouse hole-
-French rat
Medic stops his current project and watches the rat in bewilderment. Finally, he looks to Archimedes. “Did you give that rat one of your feathers?”
Archimedes doesn’t seem to be listening, as he’s more focused on the corn chips he’s munching.
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#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 spy#tf2 sniper#tf2 scout#tf2 engineer#tf2 demoman#tf2 soldier#tf2 heavy#tf2 pyro#tf2 facts#polls
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Hey, Heavy, how was the kiełbasa & pickles? It was locally sourced, so you know it's authentic Polish kiełbasa!
Also, Lutz, how are the tots doing? With Leo & Elise living at the base, I was wondering how many different languages besides English they've managed to pick up. You know, I may be a fellow merc but I know a thing or two about psychology, & kiddies are like little language sponges when they're still toddlers!
Also, do they have cute lil German accents?
Should I start signing off somehow... Uh... Oh!
🇵🇱🗡anon
“Oh, so lovely,” Heavy nods in appreciation. “Is always good, delicious and good to eat…thank you,”
Medic laughs. “The children are doing just fine! They speak both German and English fluently — they do have accents, but Leo’s accent is stronger. They have picked up on some languages, though…” he turns to look at Heavy. “Sometimes I hear them speak Russian,”
Heavy can’t help but grin. “Oh…yes…”
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Heavy, have you ever tried to cover Medic's eyes when he's angry to see if he calms down like birds do?
“No…?” Heavy pauses, thinking about that. “Have not tried this…but I could…”
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Soldier says he’s been having good days lately, but tonight he’s been laying in bed and talking incessantly about how much he wants a cheeseburger. Perhaps it’s just a mood…
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Scout wants to start a podcast. Spy claims he has a plan in place to stop him from doing so…
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-sneaks into van through the little space in the window-
What a very smelly van…!
-slowly drags sniper’s coffee mug out of the van-
Goodbye!
-French rat
“Hey!” Sniper snaps, scrabbling out of his bed and running to the window. “Get back here with that! How did you get past my traps!?”
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Recently, Spy set up Miss Pauling on a blind date with an acquaintance of his named Anastasia. Pauling just returned from the date, and she claims that this woman was apparently raised by feral dogs and has a habit of barking randomly. She also said that Anastasia kept asking to roleplay as “sad little servant men” with her. When asked if she would go out with Anastasia again, Pauling replied, “Sure.”
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Hehe~
[ruby flitters about while chirping a bit in response to the owl]
i am smol cause am a robin! You are very big! Like a...BIG BROTHER! PI~YO!
[her tiny beak and talons aid her in climbing up to where sir hootsalot is and cozied up next to his side] - ruby the robin
Big brother? Sir Hootsalot looks surprised at that response, looking down at Ruby with his large eyes. Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s…big brother before…
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Engi! I have a question for you!
Lowes or Home Depot
“Home Depot,” Engineer answers with zero hesitation. “No offense, but I don’t like being in Lowe’s…the vibe there is just wrong. And I ain’t one to care about vibes, usually!”
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Hello, Heavy! *gives Heavy some kiełbasa & pickles* from one Slavic merc to another, enjoy these!
Heavy hums in delight, sitting up and accepting the gifts. “Oh, so perfect…thank you! Delicious…I bring you homemade soup later,”
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*'Is he gay or European' starts playing in the background*
Medic gives a look. “Hm? And so what if i am? Why can’t a German doctor such as myself be bisexual in peace?”
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Today, Scout got a new radio with an alarm clock built into it. All was well and good, until he apparently tinkered with it too much and, somehow, accidentally set 12 different alarms for different times of the day. Engineer is working with the radio to undo this, but he genuinely has no idea how Scout managed to unintentionally set that many alarms.
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