chrismisslikeswissmiss
ChrisMissLikeSwissMiss
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umedicalbank12
Untitled
chancanan
Chancanan.chan/can
ruoyuart
Art for the Art God!
wenqint
and they were soulmates!
wheeknow
yeah, wheeknow.
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Me: needs to pee. Goes to bathroom.
Therapist: calls.
Me: Feck. Holds it for 20 minutes standing in my bathroom trying to sound normal and not at all like I’m about to wet myself.
Therapist: hangs up.
Me: aahhh
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Vampire bats, despite the name, are not, in fact, vampires. Instead they are their only natural predators. Like fruit bats.
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He was born in a few week’s ago those are his baby photos
Been in Norway for a few weeks, here are some photos from my trip!
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So you haven’t seen me yet
Saw beams of light in the sky. Investigating further.
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Just thinking about de-s, like, defenestration, de-domestication, depression, deterioration, delusion, deez nuts, deformation, deodorization, deprivation, despair, destruction. Denial. Deterrence.
Lots of de-s.
Basically how do I get people out of my house without the D
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But what could it be? Perhaps a friend -or dare I say, a lover?
why don't you have any checkmarks?
Because that is false authority. I have real authority which is to say I am loud and asshole.
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Me, to the crimes against humanity police: look, I never said it would be good, I just said I’d try it.
Cop: ma’am, you’re the one who called us.
Me:I am about to commit an atrocity. *drinks iced milk*
Cops: …
Me, now holding my wrists out to be cuffed: it’s just cold milk. Take me away boys!
Spontaneous lung explosions are often due to a lack of crisp, refreshing water. You have been warned.
why does this look like a glass of water from a dream
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That’s not a whale that’s a Little Guy, an absolute Smol Bean, just a handful of Friend, an all around Round Boi, a Lil’ Pocket Buddy, just a-
I learned how to make whales!!!
#Bebe Thing#a Lil’ Man#Just a 4in Unit of Good Thing#a Bestie#a Mint Green Cuddle Machine#it probably sounds like ‘benben’ or ‘blem’#just a smol lil’ dude#a cute little booper#put a hackysack in it and throw it at passer by#a kindness grenade#and it that doesn’t work#an actual grenade#rock cozie#just doing his best
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‘Live fast, die young’ has got to one of the dumbest concepts ever. I’d rather ‘live slow, die old’ like, who be out there speed running life? If it’s a competition to see who can unalive first/the fastest you’ve already lost. Slow down, take in the amazing graphics, judge character design, enjoy the silly and-not-so-silly side quests, games are meant to be fun and the game of life is no exception.
It’s not pvp, it’s co-op. Open world sandbox with optional quests and storylines and (literally) all the classes to choose from. Life’s too short to make it shorter.
#yes#even wizard#don’t be a coward#build a tower like the magic bitch you are#change your name to KingSlayer99#it’s okay if all you do is farm potatoes#or role play family life#or murder your neighbor by building walls around them with no door#wait no-
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6/10
Better than I can do as far as realism but not very compelling or emotion provoking and compared to todays standards I’m being generous.
Okay really, rate the mona lisa out of 10
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Ur mom
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we’re rational creatures. We’re not rational creatures, we’re emotional beings.
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I didn’t read into the air at first and I was completely willing to accept you were playing with your pika
Pika is a slang for dick in Brazil
I am pumping my fist into the air rn
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Hey, tumblr, listen. When I am on my “following” page I just want to see the shit I follow. If I wanted recs I’d go to my “for you” page. Stop showing me shit “based on my likes” because I am much more likely to reject it if it’s unsolicited and honestly you don’t know shit about my shitty taste if you think I’d like that shit.
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Turns out technology was actually magic all along. You’re still burned as a witch, not for the phone but because you’re dressed like a-
The Time Machine was backwards traveling only, and now your stuck in the Medieval Times. You pull out your phone, expecting it to be nonfunctional, but instead find it to be working fine, and the date on the Home Screen reading “October 12th, 952”.
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Maybe don’t? Last time someone tried that they killed a gorilla.
If I ran a zoo, i would allow my guests to hang out with the animals, I think it would generate a lot of interest in my zoo.
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