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charlieisacastle Ā· 2 hours
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im still working on the nimona video essay btw. editing is just hard šŸ˜­
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charlieisacastle Ā· 2 hours
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no dude you just wouldnā€™t get it, our autism4autism nb4nb and switch4switch sex cannot be outmatched
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charlieisacastle Ā· 3 hours
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cause baby, you weren't the first or the last or the worst. and ive got to fill the blanks in the past with a verse. we could sit around and cry, but frankly you're not worth it anymore
charlie's new music rec for the broken hearted <3
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charlieisacastle Ā· 4 hours
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how much fun are we having in this timeline folks?
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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Source ~ Neuroclastic
[Image IDs: Ten slides from Neuroclastic. All descriptions from Neuroclastic.
All images have a black background with candy-colored rainbow text and graphics
Slide 1: image features a rainbow silhouette with a brain full of talk bubbles that have insults in them. Insults include crybaby, sensitive, freak, weirdo, suck up, snowflake, idiot, stupid, loser, boring, try hard, histrionic, gross, etc.
From the silhouette is a talk bubble that reads, "This is not my voice"
Image is titled, "On Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Codependency, & Identity"
Slide 2: Titled "Stages of losing contact with the core self"
There is a 5-point zig zag graph with the following stages
Early Relational trauma: Needs are ignored, punished, or shamed. Authentic expression feels pointless or even dangerous.
Rejections accumulate: As authentic attempts to meet needs fail, the rejections begin to wall off access to core self Masks form: Person survives by experimenting with various masks as reactions to volatile or unresponsive people. Core self is further distanced: Masks shield Core Self from abuse, scorn, & neglect, but the person becomes a mirror of others
Codependency: Only the reactive masks have access to others, so a person's existence is defined by the behavior, moods, & acceptance of others.
Slide 3: Titled "Formation of Identity Masks"
An animated character with rainbow coloured hair peeks over a brick wall, each brick containing different words and symbols, while some bricks remain empty. Text above the character reads: "Identity masks are worn to shape the behavior of others. Even if an identity is true to the Core Self, masks make a person seem more or less:
[Words and symbols in bricks]
Popular, amused emojil, fun, smart, heart eyes emoji, educated, disabled, oppressed, dedicated, social, sad emoji, neuroclastic, angry, magical, religious, fashionable, heart icon, normal, stable, mature, political, angry symbol, responsible, smirking emoji, rich, independent, sad emoji, fit, brave, seductive, masculine, heartbreak icon, qualified, vulnerable, skilled.
Slide 4: Titled "Disconnection from our Core Self"
Text below reads: Eventually, we lose contact with our Core Self so that no identity feels real. Identities become more like outfits to put on & wear in different settings the same way we change clothes.
Different bubbles each read:
We mask as someone new in every situation & context
Who we are in the moment depends on the moods & behaviors of people around us
We do not realize that others are not also wearing identities as clothing
We have learned that boundaries get us in trouble, so we don't set them
We are then shocked & feel rejected when others set boundaries
We think people who know themselves are performing and boundaries are rude
Slide 5: Titled "Identities as masks are Identity Cages"
A circle has various bullets emanating from it, each occupying its own oval.
Text within circle reads: RSD is a disconnect from your Core
Self & identity
Bullets are numbered below:
We think our masks are identities, so rejection of masks feels like loss of self
We shop for & borrow other people's identities like they are others flattering clothes
We have perfectionism & are hypercritical of ourselves & others
Because masks are fragile like clothing, mistakes feel like a torn or ruined self
Relationships feel fleeting & fall into toxic patterns of codependency
Slide 6: Titled "Markers of Codependency"
Different shapes with similarly shaped wiggly lines arranged in a 2x3 arrangement, outline different markers of codependency, as follows:
Obsessive about others' and & own behavior Sees, own & others' worth as conditional
Tries hard to be needed & to fix others because love feels like a reward for good behavior
Falls in love quickly, but also can immediately hate someone others to feel worthy
Feels empathetic because identity masks rely on others' emotions for minor offenses
Needs a lot of reassurance, attention, & validation from others to feel worthy
Slide 7: Titled "relationships and Codependency"
4 rectangles, each with different representative graphics and unique titles, leading to the one after them.
The first is titled "Dangerous Relationships" with a one character confidently speaking to/advising a seemingly downcast character.
Text reads: Often exploited by people who see them as an easy target because they are afraid to set boundaries or say "no"
The second is titled "Martyrdom and Resentment" with an uncertain looking character holding an unbalanced balance scale.
Text reads: Taking a passive role of servitude & giving too much, then feeling like a martyr when others do not reciprocate
The third is titled "Other-directed life" with a signpost, one sign reading @NeuroClastic while the other remains blank.
Text reads: Goals, feelings, & desires are responses to others & not reflections of own identity or needs
The fourth is titled "Chaos & Drama" with one character with their finger up, walking away from a confused looking character.
Text reads: Criticizes & blames self or others for minor problems, harshly judges self & others, & manipulates to make self the victim
Slide 8: Titled "Reconnecting To The Core Self"
A circle is divided in quadrants, each describing ways to reconnect with one's Core Self.
The first quadrant is titled: Locating the Core Self The Core Self is not lost, just disconnected. It is the internal voice asking, "Who am I?" and the source of grief beneath the masks. Try to focus on that voice and connecting with your Core Self..
The second quadrant is titled: Dropping the Masks Identity is the whole tree - the roots, trunk, leaves, and fruit. Masks are the parasitic vines of unhealthy relationships and trauma. Begin to remove the vines one at a time when it's safe to do so.
The third quadrant is titled: Losing Value Judgements Dissociating from the Core Self means a person sees the behavior as identity, then strives to be perfect and push others to never make mistakes. You are not your behavior.
The fourth quadrant is titled: Learn to Set Boundaries Boundaries are more effective than masks at protecting the Core Self and prevent you from focusing externally to depend on others to meet your needs and maintain your autonomy.
Slide 9: Various stone shapes containing text are linked by a curving line. The topmost stone reads: Claiming Your Identity
Other stones follow, respectively reading:
No one tells you who you are. You tell them who you are. Who you are does not depend on others.
Know that you do not have to accept harm for the comfort of others.
Ask yourself, "Am I doing this because I want to do it, or because I am afraid of rejection?"
Take small risks, gradually, that allow you to be who you are & build the courage to be disliked.
Work on discovering your Core Self without an audience until you know what you love & who you are.
Slide 10: A comparison between Co-dependence and Interdependence.
The co-dependence pointers remain on a black background, whereas the inter-dependence pointers are enclosed in pencil shaped boxes, which in turn are placed against a rainbow coloured background.
The co-dependence pointers read:
I never develop my own passions or refine my skills because I am living for others
I am jealous & resentful of other people's joy, success, & material possessions
I do not make decisions without people-pleasing & say "yes" when I want to say "no"
I cannot make mistakes because other people will reject, hurt, & abandon me
I become like the people around me & agree with them to fit in & avoid conflict
I manage relationships by controlling or submitting, giving too much or taking too much
The inter-dependence pointers read:
I take the time I need to discover my passions & develop my skills to be fulfilling to me
I do not need to win or be cenetred in order to find value in experiences
I set boundaries & decline to participate if something feels wrong to me
Mistakes are a healthy part of growth & an opportunity to learn & evolve
I do not lose my values or reduce myself to be accepted & don't need others to approve
I give & receive in mutual ways that benefit both me & the people in my life
End ID]
Further Reading from Neuroclastic:
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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"Squires are more trouble than they're worth, aren't they?"
"She grows on you."
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Finally bought Nimona, read it twice and watched the movie. Needless to say I'm obsessed with these two.
Should be drawing more comic pages but
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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I took the day off to draw a comic about something that Iā€™ve never really discussed with anyone before - at least not all of it. I donā€™t know why I felt the need to do this NOW - this was about three years ago, my sophomore year of college. And I use the term ā€œcomicā€ loosely because itā€™s really just a series of scribbled pictures - I may try to clean it up at some point. And itā€™s pretty long so itā€™s under a cut.
If you remember my Holy Ghost comic, it took place at about the same time as this.
I should say there are probably some trigger warnings for self-harm, suicide, and (maybe) eating disorders under there - itā€™s not as bad as it sounds I promise, but be warned.
Keep reading
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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Aaaaaaand NIMONA IS LIVE! Five new pages are up on my shiny new site, brought to you by the wonderful Stephen Warren, who set it all up for me! The next update will be on Thursday, and updates will be every Tuesday and Thursday after that.
Click here to read from the beginning!
Click here to read the new pages!
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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Iā€™m thinking of making this the cover for when the Nimona comic goes live, which will hopefully be soon - I spent all day scripting pages. It turns out I love scripting pages!
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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(click for big) My comic final is DUNZO. Here is the first page/sneak peek - there are 12 pages total, but my plan is to turn this into a webcomic and take this story through to the end, so the rest of the pages will be coming later. For now, you can read Nimonaā€™s first and second appearances, if you havenā€™t yet.Ā 
Stick around for FANCY KNIGHT FIGHTS, SHAPESHIFTING, EXPLOSIONS, and MORE!
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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I have been working on this comic ever since I woke up this morning. Look at this wolf I drew.
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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Oh man I got my Hawkeye stuff in the mail today, you guys.Ā 
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Yeah so I have to put the purple chest piece on at some point but I donā€™t know how to do that yet. Also maybe I need a bow. Iā€™ll probably just get a dollar store plastic bow because it will be funny.
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I also look a bit like Jeremy Renner from certain angles. Not sure how to feel about that.Ā 
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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I use my Photobooth for two things, mainly: taking pictures of my hair, and documenting long sleepless nights of art-making. I give you: Finals Face, a Compilation. Puffy eyes, greasy hair, sallow skin and all. This is the face of desperation, of hopelessness, the face of a person whose only thought is WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? or maybe SHUT UP BIRDS I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT THE SUN IS RISING.
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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A comic that I made for my Jr. Illustration final!Ā Click here to view the whole thing at full size.
Referencing Shark Mystique, etc.
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charlieisacastle Ā· 5 hours
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Some character designs with someā€¦atypical color choices? I guess. I donā€™t know whatā€™s going on in that area.
This is Nimona and her supervillain friend (He doesnā€™t have a name yet, Iā€™m working on that).Ā Nimona is his sidekick/squire, theyā€™re like the Batman and Robin of slightly Medieval villains, but sheā€™s actually way more evil than him. He does what he does to make a point, and he doesnā€™t really want anyone get hurt - Nimona just gets a kick out of destroying stuff.
Iā€™m going to attempt to make a two page comic with them? Weā€™ll see how this goes.
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charlieisacastle Ā· 6 hours
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I just kind of really like drawing both of these dudes.
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charlieisacastle Ā· 6 hours
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Okay, Iā€™ve spent way too much of this evening color sliding, especially when the comic will likely just be black and white. Leaving it like this for now.
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