chaiwritespoetry - Tumblr blog

chaiwritespoetry · 16 days

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It's so depressing to be a fat person in a thin centric world Because like, I will never fit certain aesthetics

I will never be some people's idea of pretty, I probably will never feel pretty

And people will always try to shove you into a tiny box of their making Lazy, unathletic, weak, glutton, unhealthy, unimportant, worthless

And it doesn't matter how many people prove to them fat does not always equal one of those boxes Because fat is something heavily connected to genetics, and can be caused by medication or a condition

And what's even worse is when it's your own doctors who try to shove you into a box And don't even bother to give you a chance or even look at you before doing it

I will always have to pick and choose what I can take with a doctor They're not fatphobic? Perfect maybe I'll get a suggestion other than a diet or exercise

Maybe they won't contribute to my eating disorder I've had basically my whole life Maybe I might actually get help for some root problems that can cause weight gain or retainment

And they just make it worse, the lack of medical care leads to us becoming actually unhealthy And then we die prematurely because we weren't worth helping because of the size of our body

You're restricted from so much because the entire world is built on this idolized concept of looking like a child And while there are fat children that's not what people are looking for

And of course that in and of itself is a whole other issue Like why are we idolizing looking like children that's so fucking gross

But that's not the point I've rambled upon topics I didn’t mean to delve into I meant to dive down the fact that I'll never fit certain things I ache to be

I want people to see me and be met with confusion Not because I'm fat but because I look like I'm a fairytale character

I want people to pause and ask "are they human?" I want to look ethereal and whimsical

I want to be what children see and makes them believe magic is real Just in my everyday life

I want to be able to wear a flowy medieval men's shirt and some silly pants Have long unnaturally colored slightly curly hair

With big stompy boots that announces every step And so much jewelry I jingle across the space I'm in

But because I'm 5'3.75 and in a mid to plus size body If I wore that people would stare at me with hatred for daring to take up space

And it wouldn't even be a thought across their mind that I'd look ethereal It would be ew why the fuck would they wear that in public

I would have videos taken of me without my permission and posted to tiktok And the entire video would be about how we need to bring shame back

But if a skinny person went out and did that? "Oh my god I think I just saw a fairy in walmart!"

I want to just exist and not be ridiculed for things largely out of my control I want to be able to be celebrated along with everyone else

I want to be able to take up space without people recoiling in disgust I want to not be hated for the fact that I exist in a bigger body than what they deem ideal

#fat #fat life #living while fat #ethereal #whimsical #fairy #pirate #life #poetry #social commentary #vent poem #vent poetry #queer #ftm #mlm

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