Self portraits made by dementia patients at the nursing home I work at.

One of the hardest parts of being the caregiver of your spouse is finding the balance between those two roles. How do you fulfill the role of wife and also be a full time caregiver without blurring the lines? You don’t. You can’t. It’s impossible. Does this interfere with intimacy at all? Yes. Does it make it impossible to be intimate? No. It’s tough for me personally to keep the spark sometimes because cognitively, due to the PPMS progressing so fast, Josh is not able to think too deeply. He had a very surface level grasp on most topics and gets confused easily. His processing speed is very slow and it takes a lot of repeating for him to finally comprehend what I say, often times. This makes it difficult for me to feel connected because I am someone who thrives off of deep conversations. Something we used to be able to have. I’ve learned to accept what I cannot change though, and find the deeper conversations in my friendships, and be grateful for everything else I share with him. MS is a bitch… but you can do what you can to live with it and find the good in every day.

String art! We used yarn to “paint” today in the memory care unit I work in. It was a hit!

Ask someone with dementia to draw themselves and you’ll be surprised what you get. Here are 5 self portraits from different residents at work.

Newspaper art

Josh (my husband) started using a walker recently. Before that he was using a cane. Our 10 year anniversary was this past weekend and we had pictures taken in NYC in front of a horse and carriage. Josh posted a picture with his walker in it for the first time on Facebook and an acquaintance of his commented something that needs to be discussed. He said that Josh needs to stop selling himself short by using assistance to walk and that he’s stronger than that. This is not only ignorant but hurtful. No one knows what someone else is going through and not everyone with MS has the same level of symptoms. It is not safe for him personally to walk without assistance, such as a cane or walker at this point due to falls and extremely poor balance. I could definitely go on forever about MS awareness but in a nutshell, no two people are alike. Don’t tell someone who is trying to better their quality of life to stop selling themself short. In fact, maybe ask why they’re using it instead if you (clearly) don’t know.

At work we did spiderwebs and googly eyed spiders yesterday. The residents had a blast. Recreation therapy is VITAL to life at all ages but ESPECIALLY to people with dementia.

My husband trying to explain what “five foot one” looks like.

Hey there! New here! I’m a memory care wellness specialist in a nursing home in the dementia unit specifically, who works in the recreation department. I also have a husband who lives with PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis)which has induced a form of early dementia. By early, I mean he is about to turn 39, next month. Basically, if I’m not taking care of him at home- I’m taking care of people just like him if not worse, at work. My blog is going to take you along my journey as a dual caregiver and help to demystify dementia a bit from someone who spends an awful lot of time with people who have the disease.