(Screenshot for those who don't have an Instagram account):

I wanted to share this suicidal ideation thermometer here because it helped me better understand and define my own suicidal thoughts, which in turn made it easier to bring them up to my therapist.

I am really proud to be in the blue area of this thermometer now, instead of in the red one like I used to be!

Venting irl and accidentally saying something too suicidal

Fun fact: people with ADHD actually love sitting around with absolutely nothing to occupy them, they've just been taught to think that they hate it. No really, I'm saying this as someone who has rampant ADHD myself, sitting down and doing nothing actually rocks so hard.

The issue is, it's something that we have to do ourselves, on our own terms. Because yes, I would absolutely rather start chewing off a random limb rather than sit and wait for someone or take a trip longer than two minutes without my MP3 player or a book. That is torture, and it should be banned.

In contrast, realizing that my brain's spinning a bit too hard and fast, taking a step back, turning off my computer/tablet/phone, getting myself all comfy-cozy in a nice chair or on my bed and letting my brain just spin for awhile? That's great! It gives me a chance to properly process everything that's going on in my head without any extra stimulus vying for attention until everything slows down enough that I can go back to what I was doing.

It's not about trying to 'become still' or 'let my head empty' or an 'I have nothing to do' situation. It's an active choice that allows my brain to regain a level of equilibrium and what is, for me, a normal speed of thought and mental activity while in a comfortable setting. 10/10, highly recommended, your brain wants to go so this is how you let it safely run around off the leash for a bit!

“Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what you deserve. and don’t settle for less.”

— Tony Gaskins

Olivia Laing, The Lonely City

I keep thinking about this scene

Not only because it's the only time we have seen Carmy flirting his ass off. But because...that smile? man, he is just looking at her, kneading the flour, and it gives him this resemblance to a ship moving with the waves. Like her voice is making him dance. He just looks so content, doing the thing that is most natural to him, cooking, but also, because he is next to her, he has not a single worry in his mind. I don't think I have seen him this relaxed since the show started. Moments like this probably are so rare for Carmen. Also, the lighting? The sun resembles the type of sun they get in the table scene, it's a hard light that doesn't bother them, it's purposefully intense and comforting, just like them. There is no music, just the sound of her voice and his hands working, as it's just a scene of them talking about something that is exposition but is not like crazy in terms of foreshadowing (with this show you don't really know), and yet, the scene is so slow, its almost impossible to think that the show that made the to-go orders nightmare in one take, can also produce this, not to mention that a guy that made that scene, will also do this scene. People have mentioned how there are no clocks in scenes with Syd and Carmy talking like this, with them, the time stops, the worries stop, the trauma (the beast) goes back inside, it doesn't have a reason to fight.

I miss the way I viewed the world before I knew too much about it

I thought I had been surviving, and yet, what I was really doing was hanging by a string, loosely holding myself from collapsing. I was always on the verge, and I could feel that friction in my soul.

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

“I feel myself shutting down, closing off, like I should tell people: “No, we dont use this heart anymore. Its too fragile”.”

— Courtney C. Stevens