"I'm straight" "I'm gay" ok??? well I'M Nephi, born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in m

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WHERE is our promised BoM Tumblr Sexyman Tournament 😡

Well we'll have to discuss it to pick who should go against who but have this to tide you over

Edit: I'm an idiot and mixed up Mormon and Moroni 😔 the saddest of times

hey about your boyfriend. yeah, he prayed unto the Lord, and a pillar of fire came and dwelt upon a rock before him, and he saw and heard much and the things which he saw and heard caused him to quake exceedingly. now he's fleeing into the wilderness and constructing a boat after the manner the Lord hath revealed, with which to cross the great waters unto a land of promise. no, we cannot convince him to return unto his own house. sorry

:\

Look as long as you post the Arnold Freiberg paintings somewhere I don't care who wins.

Only the SEXIEST of men

I was going to recommend Emer as another obscure candidate for the sexyman poll in honor of someone in my old ward basing a talk around the guy (there are like six verses about Emer in total), but while looking him up, I discovered his son Coriantum, who got remarried at 102 and then spent the next 40 years having kids, so I'm recommending Coriantum on the grounds that he's got to have had *some* sex appeal to pull that off.

oh what a baller guy. respect

i nominate Shiz (guy who got his head chopped off, did a push up and then died) for the not-yet real bom sexyman polls. not only is this bit incredibly funny to me, it also has mortal combat, which is pretty hot

AW MAN WE LOVE OL' STRUGGLED-FOR-BREATH SHIZ

Ammon has always been the hottest Book of Mormon sexy man to me not because of the many supposed multiple amputations he caused but because one time his love as a missionary made him so happy (while his blood sugar was low) that he fainted (into Alma's arms, I imagine)

I love a sensitive teacherly type......who tends sheep and respects women and the indigenous populations?? HE'S CUTE OK HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT JUICE EVERY MORNING but forgets the muffin so he doesn't faint from excitement

Also it's my theory that he just disarmed everyone of of their weapons Jedi style and that freaked everyone out while he was just chillin full of the power of God

reblog to remind ammon to eat her morning muffin so she doesn't faint from excitement when she wins the sexymormon tournament!!!

I'm nominating the daughter of Lamoni (the one whose hand in marriage he offered to Ammon) for the BoM Tumblr Sexyman poll. I just feel like she was an absolute knockout. Probably did elaborate braids with fragrant flowers and vines woven through them, finger-painted stunning artworks with inks made from the brightest berries, and was buff as h*ck. She was also a Lumberjack Lesbian™ and, although not marrying Ammon, became his best friend in wlw/mlm solidarity. I fell in love with her while typing this ask. help.

this is so specific that it has to be actually about somebody in your life and i think that you should probably text them. just a thought

No one ever brings him up because he’s in the depths of Alma HOWEVER Pahoran will always be a sexy man to me, i love a high priest writing silly letters as he's getting deposed.

nobody talks about pahoran??? bestie. bestie this is very much a pahoran stan account, i have a comic about him somewhere. he's our babygirl. he's our sweetheart. i was literally reading that chapter and giggling and sighing like an 80s teen with a crush just the other day

I gotta nominate Gideon. Almost kills King Noah, keeps Limhi’s people safe while they were being held hostage by the Lamanites all those years, then was the one to suggest the plan that freed the entire people.

And when they’re finally free he just. Retires. So he can teach Sunday School for the rest of his life.

(Until he gets beaten to death by Nehor for telling him to shut up and stop spreading false doctrine. But at least they named a city after him. And a valley, I’m pretty sure.)

gideon the nephite should win this future contest so tumblr can atone for gideon the ninth not winning the sexywoman contest

This is Nephi 'Large In Stature' son of Lehi erasure

Campaigning heats up for our nonexistent election

Oh man, having to choose between "Javelin Man" Teancum and "He Doth Not Stink" Lamoni? I'm already stressing about this contest

I'm making it worse for you. We can't have just two of em to stress over. We gotta start campaigning like it's the election.

Here to nominate Teancum for the tournament. We love ourselves a skrunkly assassin

Honestly Teancum has been such a huge fave since I was a child that when the tournament inevitably eventually comes around I will be so upset if he doesnt do well

weeping and wailing and gnashing my teeth that i yet can't cheer for Abishsweep on the sexyman poll tournament.

YET