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asexual-cat-furry · 3 days

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The brainrot won. It's human scp time

Just a cute lil couple photo with your local gay people. Dyo DEFINITELY isn't sitting on the Doctor's lap to look taller no sir-ee

Also behold your local tough guy. He totally is NOT a supportive father of one and DOESN'T push his roomate's wheelchair when it runs out of battery. He has no heart and eats nails for breakfast.

Cute lil family photo time :) these people are rich enough to buy a country. (Dyo is off doing.... Whatever it is they do unsupervised and forgot to show up, hance was not included)

Man i love human scps you've got:

Body paint enthusiast and influencer that apparently was NOT joking about making neckbreaking asmr

Old ass war veteran with untreated ptsd

Homeless teenager (please dear gods someone be nice to this mans this beast wtf has the world done to this critter)

And an actual baby

Y'all thought you could escape the spankoflex a d Dr.Hamm/049 version of Jay lmao you were so incorrect and you will never escape them

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asexual-cat-furry · 3 days

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OF COURSE THE EXACT SESSION I REDESIGN MY CHARACTER AND HER LORE TO FIT INTO THE WORLD ENDS IN TEN MINUTES WITH A TPK

#rpg #risus #campaign taking place in #warhammer 40k #I had different outfits down and everything :(#and it all happened because one of my teammates got triggerhappy with two huge cannons aimed at us and shot a guy in the hand even though we #begged him not to #I also rolled 1 trying to dodge so I guess that didn't help #tpk #total party kill

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asexual-cat-furry · 4 days

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oh to one day live in a world that doesn't hinge on the whims of the united states of fucking america.

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asexual-cat-furry · 10 days

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The Contendings of Horus and Set (and homosexuality in Ancient Egypt)

(The image is the Chester Beatty Papyrus I, written in hieratic, containing the mentioned story)

In my last post I (affectionately) called Set "the Gay Uncle of the Egyptian Pantheon" and promised to elaborate more on it in another post.

(CW: sexuality talk, bits of violence and- lettuce. No strong language)

First, a "little" foreword on homosexuality in Ancient Egypt: this is a very complicated subject as I gathered since, well- we don't know very much about it. The few accounts that survived are either disputed or offer little information on the general attitude towards same-sex relationship outside the single case.

It's also difficult to talk about heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality in ancient times at all since the way we know them is a relatively modern concept (the word homosexuality is first attested in 1868 on a letter to Karl Heinrich Ulrichs by Karl-Maria Kertbeny) and before christianity became mainstream the biggest concerns were at best pointed towards the practices (mostly, Taking It™).

For everything else, relationships were just relationships.

The best known example of a same-sex couple were these guys, since it's likely the earliest recorded in history:

They're Khnumhotep (ẖnm.w-ḥtp(.w)) and Niankhkhnum (nj-ꜥnḫ-ẖnm.w), two royal servants and confidants who had the prestigious task to be the king's head manicurists. In their mastaba tomb in Saqqara are depicted in poses traditionally reserved for couples - like holding hands, embracing and kissing.

However, both of them had wives (Khenut and Khentikawes) and 6 children each.

Ancient Egyptians were very passionate about fertility - which is understandable considering how easily people could die any day for any reason back then. The more children you had and the more the chances that at least one of them survived to adulthood and could carry on jobs and duties.

So as long as you were a (re)productive member of society, it wasn't a big deal that you enjoyed / preferred the company of an individual of your same sex.

The big deal was, as I mentioned, Taking It™ for two main reasons:

Power dynamics. Assuming an active role during the intercourse meant at the same time asserting your dominance and/or humiliating the person on the receiving end of it

Something that I understood as "guy takes up the role of a woman during the intercourse but with none of her reproductive power" which considering how massively important being fertile was to them... well. Makes it a practice as sterile as the desert

And guess who was the god of deserts? our guy Set

(and also storm, disorder and violence to be precise)

His name was written either stš, swtḫ, swtj or stẖ depending on the time period (the Greeks just went with Seth)

He also loved eating this particular vegetable a normal amount (keep it in mind, we'll need that later):

Set was one of the children of Geb (the god of the Earth) and Nut (goddess of the sky) along with Osiris, Isis and Nephthys - who he was married to.

Osiris was king at the time and upheld the rule of ma'at (ideal natural order, fundamental concept of AE culture) along with Isis, his wife-sister.

At some point Set murdered Osiris, tore his body into pieces and scattered them all around Egypt. Reasons for this act may have been:

Osiris kicked him

Osiris had an affair with Nephthys

Isis and Nephthys in the form of either a falcon or a kite searched for all pieces and with the help of Anubis put them all together in what is considered the first mummy in Egyptian tradition. Isis uses her wings to briefly fan new life in Osiris' body and the two conceive a child, Horus.

Osiris' resurrection was not permanent and after his time was out he became ruler of the Duat (the realm of the dead), while Isis raises Horus in secret until he was old enough to come back to challenge Set for his throne.

The dispute took the form of a series of competitions (like racing with boats or fighting each other in the form of hippopotami) and legal judgement before the assembled council of gods, the Ennead.

During one of the competitions Isis tried to help her son while he was locked in combat with Set but accidentally spears Horus - he got FURIOUS and beheaded his mother. Then tried to fix it by sticking on the body a head of a cow. No one will ever notice, amright? (This gives the mythological origin of the cow horn headdress Isis sometimes is depicted wearing)

Horus repeatedly defeats Set in the various competitions and is largely favoured by the the other gods, but the head of the Ennead was Geb and Geb liked Set so they were stuck in this limbo situation of tie for years.

and then - brace yourself. Now it comes the key moment of this story.

Set and Horus have sex.

I'm serious

The details of this obviously varied from account to account (as most of myths in Ancient Egypt, it was almost expected to have different variations of it depending on the time period and place)

According to one account, it was deliberately only to humiliate him

According to another, he genuinely wanted to bang his nephew other than the act of dominance / humiliation thing, he didn't take no as an answer and got him drunk

According to another one again it was consensual, Horus agreed on condition that Set would've given him part of his strength (my fave)

But Horus was a smart birb and he either caught Set's seed with his hands (don't ask me how) or removed it in secret, so to make Set believe the act was successful. Horus tells his mom about what happened and the morning after they plan something.

Horus wanks on some lettuce and Isis serves it to a clueless Set.

Who eats it all.

The next time the Ennead were called to judgement, Set mentions having laid with Horus as a mean to demonstrate he has asserted his dominance over him so he had the right to claim the throne for himself. Horus disagrees. Geb verifies who of the two had the other's seed in his body and-

Set did.

Horus thus won the dispute

They eventually reconcile with each other and shared the lands to rule (which might have been fertile lands of the Nile to Horus and foreign deserts to Set, or one had the land and the other the sky, or the two traditional halves of the country). With this reconciliation, the dualities they represent are also reconciled into a united whole restoring order after the conflict.

(according to other accounts Geb played the bitch and gave sole reign to Horus, to other much later when Egypt was a bit in a bad place Set was utterly defeated, exiled and/or destroyed)

Funny thing is that Set actually got pregnant from the tainted lettuce and gave birth to either:

A golden disk on his forehead

Thot

Thot's moon disk (in versions where Thot is present during the dispute)

Well ancient Egyptian mythology sure is something huh

#...okay #imagine if this was in #the kane chronicles #ancient egypt #ancient egyptian lore #ancient egyptian mythology #mythology #contendings of horus and set #moon knight #set #seth #horus #osiris #q tag #sexuality #ancient egyptian sexuality #homosexuality

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asexual-cat-furry · 16 days

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This minecraft short comic called "A strange Coast" made by Ian Flynn I believe, I found in a book from my library I work has to be one of the most beautiful and respectful takes on the game.

It understands minecraft so perfectly and doesn't treat it as childishly as the other stories in it did.

And all that within 10 pages and no word spoken.

#minecraft #comics #fan art

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asexual-cat-furry · 18 days

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at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

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asexual-cat-furry · 18 days

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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

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asexual-cat-furry · 18 days

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Imagine the language and dialect exchange in the mercs

Imagine Engie, Soldier and Scout comparing americanisms and ending up in a fistfight over what to call this thing

(Engie calls it a crawfish, Soldier calls it a crawdad and Scout calls it a crayfish like a heathen)

#tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier #tf2 scout #tf2 engie #it's a crawdad btw #or crawfish #crayfish just sounds bad

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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In case no one told you growing up

Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.

If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)

Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.

You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)

Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.

Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.

To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.

Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.

Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.

If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.

Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.

After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.

Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.

Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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TF2 nationality headcanons

(I think of RED and BLU as separate characters, who might just happen to look/act alike)

RED Scout - american (Boston, MA) (his ma has irish ancestry, from Galway - I saw this headcanon somewhere and I love it)

BLU Scout - filipino-american (NYC)

RED Soldier - american obv (Atkins, AR) (I know that he's supposed to be from the midwest but I don't care. I headcanon that his dad is from Idaho and his mom is from Ohio. Also I think he's like 25% native or something because I think it'd be funny/interesting if he's not 100% White American™)

BLU Soldier - american obv (somewhere in Virginia) (he was raised by eagles in the Appalachian wilderness, so he barely speaks coherent english)

RED Pyro - chinese (somewhere in the south, but spent most of their childhood homeless in Shanghai) (they never told anyone and it's unlikely they ever will. The only people who know are Pauling and the Spies, but none of them will tell) (I know it's a popular headcanon but I never really saw them as mexican, sorry)

BLU Pyro - irish (Dublin) (their muffled voice is made harder to decipher due to their hardcore irish accent. BLU Demo can understand it best)

RED Demoman - scottish (Ullapool) (literally canon)

BLU Demoman - scottish (Glasgow)

RED Heavy - russian (somewhere in far eastern Siberia) (his family doesn't look white, especially Zhanna, so I think they're probably some kind of siberian people)

BLU Heavy - ??? (swedish? belarusian? idk man)

RED Engie - american (Bee Cave, TX) (I hc the Conaghers as a whole to be a mix of white & latino, so the Engies speak spanish as a second language and often just switch to it to exchange praise/insults/advice without others noticing)

BLU Engie - american (Bee Cave, TX) (RED Engie's cousin although doesn't have the Conagher surname actually)

RED Medic - german obv (Stuttgart) (jewish, although his family probably converted to christianity many years ago and either way they're not particularly religious, Medic is actually the "most religious" of his immediate family but that's just because he knows Satan exists)

BLU Medic - british-greek

RED Sniper - new zealander, half-māori (born in Auckland, raised near-ish to Perth)

BLU Sniper - australian, half-aboriginal (somewhere in the outback in Queensland) (the half-aboriginal thing is also a headcanon I saw somewhere and happily adopted)

RED Spy & BLU Spy - french (Paris) (they're twins)

Edit: Dang it I forgot the tags

#constructive criticism very appreciated!#also if I said something offensive I am terribly sorry #if I did pls tell me so I can fix it #tf2 #tf2 red team #tf2 blu team #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #also both pyros go by any pronouns!#tf2 headcanons

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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TF2 needs an exclusive "Heavy!" call for Medic. Where did my Heavy go. You are giant and loud but I cannot find you. I hear gunfire but see no smoke. I am a lost little german boy in a cave full of Enemie Teamen who want to murdern die Mediken gott hilf mir

#tf2 #red oktoberfest

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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Week One hundred-sixteen, The Mercs As ...

CONSTELLATIONS

(Suggestion credit: anonymous)

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #the mercs as #constellations #astronomy #saxton hale could be hercules #because he's big and beats up animals #miss pauling could be ursa minor #because she's small but important #the administator could be cassiopeia #because she's easily recognisable and a bitch

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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Ideas for weird griffins*, and also names for each one:

Genyornis/Smilodon (Pleistocene Pal)

Anurognathus/Juramaia (Funky Prehistoric Fella)

Pigeon/Fox (Bin Raider)

Chicken/Cow (Delicious)

Dodo/Dikdik (Paradoxical)

Hercules Beetle/Rhinoceros (Charger)

Bumblebee/Sheep (Fluffball)

Duck/Beaver (Platypusn't)

Vulture/Hyena (Scavenger)

Raven/Horse (Nightmare)

Dove/Horse (Majestic Steed)

Stag Beetle/Elk (Forest King)

Crow/Gorilla (Crowrilla)

Robin/Red Squirrel (Woodland Critter)

Parrot/Chameleon (Disguise Master)

Mosquito/Water Deer (Vampiric)

Fly/Rat (Pest)

Quetzalcoatlus/Supersaurus (Prehistoric Demon)

Emperor Penguin/Polar Bear (Cold Fusion)

Flying Fish/St. Andrew's Cross Spider (Loophole King)

Rhinoceros Beetle/Tortoise (Flying Fortress)

Wasp/Wolf (Pack Swarmer)

Superb Bird of Paradise/Echidna (What)

*my definition of what makes something a griffin is if it has the head, wings, front legs and upper-body texture of any winged creature (flighted or otherwise) and the body-shape, temperament, lower-body texture and (optionally) identifying features of any quadruped.

#griffins #mythology

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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reblog to give the person you rb’d this from a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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Please help me report this shop. Please do not buy from them. They have stolen my art and are trying to make money off of it.

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asexual-cat-furry · 1 month

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