CW: mentions of recovery, deteriorating mental health, gaining weight, starving motivation, anorexia.
okay, so i took a little (long) break because i had sm going on. i was basically put into forced recovery and i’ve gained about ten pounds. i’ve never been so upset in my life.
working so hard for something only to have it taken away from you literally sucks. but over these past few weeks i’ve had a lot happen in my personal life aside from anorexia too.
i think i’m ready to come back to it, i’ve never felt as comforted as i have with ana, and i just have mo desire to get better. like at all.
on top of being out of that situation, i got a new boyfriend. this one is sm better, he’s very sweet and isn’t abusive (like the last one was). i was thinking about how in my last relationship my bf DID help me lose weight bc we would get into so many arguments.
I was actually worried that this one wouldn’t make me want to lose my appetite—like that was an actual concern. but luckily for me, he’s very skinny. and he skips meals like all the time.
I don’t want him to do that, but i’d be lying if i said that wasn’t motivation for me to get back to it.
I’m not trying to seem like a terrible person, but these are just my thoughts.
thank you! :)
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why is the thought of being kept out of school bc i’m so sick motivating me sm? lol
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when i’m craving something, i just think about what it tastes like. i really concentrate on that.
and then i remember what it feels like if i eat too much of it. that uncomfortable feeling. then i think about the guilt afterwards.
helps me tons.
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i hope you guys know i literally love you all.
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just fit into size zero shorts! you literally don’t know how happy i am. let’s make it a 000 next time?
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hot take: i’d rather eat one tasty high cal meal a day (within my limit), rather than a bunch of gross low cal ones.
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Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.
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ana induced headaches are always so bittersweet..
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reminder: it only takes 10 pounds to drop a size!
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always buy the cutest clothes a few sizes too small. it’ll be your best motivation.
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