It's hard to feel good when you're witnessing the whole world going to shit & a system trying to desperately bring you back within its shackles. I feel everything so deeply & intensely and that definitely doesn't help.. but we'll endure and fight until we can free ourselves from this prison we've been rotting in for too long.
I'm tired...I'm exhausted... My soul feels exhausted all the time no matter what I feed it. Over this quarantine I've been finding myself folding onto myself like a cocoon that closes itself out of fear of being damaged. People come out rejoicing at the fact of socializing and getting together and I find myself not wanting to do anything with it, I find it draining, exhausting to maintain and I'd rather stay with the self I've created over the past months in harmony and stillness.
Ich bin schon viele Male gestorben, doch der Tod war nur vorübergehend. Genauso wie mein Augenblick, der verdorben, verwittert, verblichen nicht ist. Die noch dunkle Sonne erlischt, verführt von der Unschuld der Freuden
Wtf is this? You spend half of your time if not more to try to be comfortable with yourself and live through the day and the other half trying to figure out what the fuck you're gonna do with it....ummm no thank you I want out please! Can someone like take me away or idk abduct me I'd happily be taken, I promise I won't make a fuss or struggle about it, I'll just give into it....
Note to self: Your neighbors do not find it amusing when you put on your renaissance outfit and roll your wheelbarrow through the street calling, “Bring out your dead!” at 7a.m.
“The rule for all terrors is to head straight into them. When you are sailing in a storm, you don’t let a wave hit your boat on the side. You go bow into the wave and ride it. So in the same way, old folklore says, this is an old wives tale with a lot of truth in it, whenever you meet a ghost don’t run away, because the ghost will capture the substance of your fear and materialise itself out of your own substance and will kill you eventually, because it will take over all your own vitality. So then, whenever confronted with a ghost, walk straight into it and it will disappear. So in the same way, when people stir up the depths of the unconscious and are confronted with their own monsters….when you get that sense of terror, go right at it, don’t run away. Explore, feel the fear as completely as you can feel it. Head straight into it and just it so happens that these things give you the opportunity to go into some of your very, very most closely kept skeletons and the result of that is invariably beneficial.”