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14sadie · 2 years

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I love you

I keep on telling myself that I still love you. Everyday I am messaging you that I still love you the same way I have been in love with you before. That I will love you forever.

But I realised, do I still love you? Do I really love you? Right now at this moment do I still love you? Or I am just blinded by my mind? I am only telling you I love you but how? Why? You are not even doing anything for me to make me love you. And that’s when it hits me, I love you from our memories before, I love you for all the good things you have done for me in the past, I love you because the memories of you loving me still lingers in my head. You see I only love you because of the past. Your memories are much stronger than it is the present. That is why I love you. I Love the old you. I love our relationship before. But now? I don’t know. You do not give me reasons now to love you at present.

Why would I love someone who does not give me enough reasons to love them back? Tell me?

You too are telling me that you love me. Maybe you only love the past me. Me too am not giving you enough reasons to love me back. I kept my distance with you. Because all I am feeing when I am with you is constant pain. I am no longer happy.

Yes, I am happy before when I am with you. You gave me all the reasons to be happy but that was before.

I need to live in the present. Not the past. I need to live and feel now, not our memories of the past.

#broken #brokenhearted #lgbtq #sad and alone #sad thoughts #moving on #cheated on #i love you #i still love you

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14sadie · 2 years

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For the first time after a few months of having bad dreams and nightmares, mostly consists of my ex leaving me or other things that my ex is in it.

I dreamt of someone else.

I dreamt of someone, an old flame.

A part of me feels like it was a betrayal for my feelings with my ex.

I am not sure if it is normal that I am already thinking about someone else in my subconscious.

It has been 2 months since I knew I was cheated on. I am still in the process of healing.

#betrayal #brokenhearted #lgbtq #broken #old flame #dreamingwithabrokenheart #selfhealing #selfbetrayal #sad and alone #sad thoughts

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14sadie · 2 years

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Here comes again the sleepless nights.

The waking up every 2 and 3 am

The crushing pain in my chest

The pounding my head.

Staring blankly in the wilderness.

Loving the moon

#sleepless nights #brokenhearted #broken #alone #sad and alone #left behind #cheated on #lgbtq

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14sadie · 2 years

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Today will be the last time I will tell you I love you.

#lgbtq #lonely #depressed #brokenhearted #broken #loveandmisery

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14sadie · 2 years

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Death

I feel like dying…

Well ever since I came into this world I have felt it multiple times but I did not have the courage to do it.

Life’s circumstances changed my perception so either I move forward or be swallowed up with my thoughts

For years it never came to mind but now it comes back like an old friend waving it’s hand and waiting to welcome me.

Why do I have to struggle in this life when I can end this and be free.

Are there any strings left attached? I do not think so. The only reason I am holding on is because of you. But you let me go.

#sad thoughts

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14sadie · 2 years

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I didnt know this love would be self destructive

If I can just numb all this pain.

What will happen?

Stop being jealous

Stop

#lgbtlove #sad qutoes #heart been broke so many times

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