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Mort was one of the first Terry Pratchett books that I ever read, in the early '90s, and it definitely gave me an appetite for reading more of them. I had a significant other (reader I married them) who at the time owned these five: Sourcery, The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, and Mort. I was a little meh on the fantasy genre but I would pretty much read anything that wasn't nailed down, and these books (especially the last two) grabbed me.
The thing that I loved the most, well the thing that I actually loved the most was the humor. But it was almost as good how Sir Terry could twist a familiar concept around and make you look at it a new way.
Mort can move absentmindedly through walls and drink neat widowmaker soberly not because he is turning into a ghost, but because he is becoming dangerously real.
-- Terry Pratchett, Mort
I mean of course if you imagine that there are ghosts, you can imagine that ghosts can walk through walls. Because ghosts aren't really there, not in the same way as the walls. But what if walls aren't the realest thing possible? What if it's a continuum? What if you can keep moving along the reality axis and become so real that walls look unsubstantial compared to you? Why did I never think of this??
It takes a particular kind of genius to find a way of looking at something that is, at the same time, startlingly original and completely obvious. That's Terry Pratchett.
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Quotes from Mort:
He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe. Which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. The Creator had a lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it understandable hadn't been one of them.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
Even the hot meat pie man had stopped crying his wares and, with no regard for personal safety, was eating one.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
(proto-C.M.O.T. Dibbler)
"Well, ----me," he said. "A ----ing wizard. I hate ----ing wizards!"
"You shouldn't ---- them, then," muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
(Old joke but not quite so old at the time)
(This expurgated writing style didn't carry over to any later books, I think)
"We give him trouble, you see. Priests don't, so he likes priests."
"He's never said," said Mort.
"Ah. They're always telling folk how much better it's going to be when they're dead. We tell them it could be pretty good right here if only they'd put their minds to it."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
(Also partly the message of Good Omens, per Neil Gaiman)
With royal self-control, Keli said, "This is the fourth floor. It's a lady's bedroom. You'd be amazed how many horses we don't get up here."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
SLEEP? SLEEP? I NEVER SLEEP. I'M WOSSNAME, PROVERBIAL FOR IT.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
Terry Pratchett, Mort
"Sodomy non sapiens," said Albert under his breath.
"What does that mean?"
"Means I'm buggered if I know."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
"You can help?" said Mort.
"No," said Ysabell. She blew her nose.
"What do you mean, no?" growled Albert. "This is too important for any flighty--"
"I mean," said Ysabell, in razor tones, "that I can do them and you can help."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
YOU WILL DO AS YOU ARE TOLD.
"I will not."
YOU'RE MAKING THIS VERY DIFFICULT.
"Good."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
(Death vs. teenager)
(I love when Death says normal-person things in the DEATH voice, like especially when he's talking to the little kids in Hogfather)
"Is it a pearl?" he said.
THE PRESSURE OF THIS REALITY KEEPS IT COMPRESSED. THERE MAY COME A TIME WHEN THE UNIVERSE ENDS AND REALITY DIES, AND THEN THIS ONE WILL EXPLODE AND... WHO KNOWS? KEEP IT SAFE. IT'S A FUTURE AS WELL AS A PRESENT. Death put his skull on one side. IT'S A SMALL THING, he added. YOU COULD HAVE HAD ETERNITY.
"I know," said Mort. "I've been very lucky."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
(Unfired Chekov's gun of the series? I don't remember this ever coming up again)
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Finally got around to watching Young Royals season 3, and I really for real bought into the fakeout that they were going to stay broken up. It was sad, but I actually agreed that it was the mature and sensible thing to do. There were going to be some virtually insurmountable hurdles if they stayed together, and Wilhelm being the crown prince was only part of it.
Now he's not that, but he's still part of the royal family and will still be under scrutiny by them, and so will Simon. Simon still won't be able to be himself on social media or attend public demonstrations and protests and things. People are going to blame Simon if/when they don't like August as king! Even if Wilhelm and Simon decamp Harry-and-Meghan style, then they'll have to deal with the scary obsessive window-breaking people without a support system, and anyway I don't think that Wilhelm would do that to his mother. I'm sorry, they're adorable and so good together, but I give them six months.
Big kudos to Sara though, for choosing herself. I was slightly hoping that she would get back together with August because she was so good for him! But. He was not good for her, and it's amazing that she recognized that and had the strength to let him go. August has a hard road ahead of him for many reasons, I hope he gets the help he needs.
#young royals#yr s3#yr s3 spoilers#wilmon#yes i realize these are fictional people#but that eating disorder reference that they just casually slid in there#we knew he exercises obsessively but i thought that was mainly an anxiety coping mechanism#anyway
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Drawing an unexpected line between Granny Aching and Death: Two beings who can't be anything other than exactly what they are, but who vaguely worry that they don't quite fit what their grandchildren want or need them to be.
Death, with the bony knees and the all-black garden and the logically-constructed tire swing. Granny Aching, with the boots and the pipe and the not looking like a china shepherdess.
Neither of them able to be the sort of typical doting grandparents who play and cuddle, but both finding their own quiet ways to connect.
Both of them loved and respected by their grandchildren but not knowing it, because the lack of communication goes the other way too.
These awkward family dynamics that are so real and beautifully imperfect.
#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett#discworld#tiffany aching#granny aching#susan sto helit#granddad death#the wee free men#soul music
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Some quotes I like from Johnny and the Dead. I'll again recommend the Johnny Maxwell trilogy for any Terry Pratchett fans, it's a bit dated, and lacks witches and wizards, and takes place on a boring spherical planet, but still there's good stuff.
And the sky above it was a glorious blue, which was pretty unusual for Blackbury, where most of the time the sky was that odd, soapy color you'd get if you lived in a Tupperware box.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"My greatest trick involved getting out of a locked sack underwater while wearing twenty feet of chain and three pairs of handcuffs."
"Gosh, how often did you do that?" said Johnny.
"Nearly once," said Mr. Vicenti.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
Wobbler was banned from the computers because of an incident involving a library terminal, the telephone connection to the main computer, another telephone line to the computer at East Slate Air Base ten miles away, another telephone line to a much bigger computer under a mountain somewhere in America, and almost World War Three. At least that's what Wobbler said. The Assistant Information Officers said it was because he got chocolate in the keyboard.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
There was a feeling, like-- --like on an airplane when it's about to land, and his ears went "pop." But it was happening with his brain, instead.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"It's wrong to think that the past is something that's just gone. It's still there. It's just that you've gone past. If you drive through a town, it's still there in the rearview mirror. Time is a road, but it doesn't roll up behind you. Things aren't over just because they're past."
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit. Gravity is easy-peasy by comparison."
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
Time passes everywhere. But days and nights are little local things that happen only to people who stay in one place. If you go fast enough, you can overtake the clock...
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"I believe it's very hard to have fun in Iceland without fish being involved in some way."
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
Making a fuss about cards and heavy metal and going on about Dungeons and Dragons stuff because it's got demon gods in it is like guarding the door when it is really coming up through the floorboards.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"Anyway, there's four of us, after all."
"That just means something bad can happen four times," said Wobbler.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
"Did I see them waving?" said Mrs. Liberty.
"And particling, I shouldn't wonder," said the Alderman.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
Johnny blinked. And looked around at the world. It was, not to put too fine a point on it, wonderful. Which wasn't the same as nice. It wasn't even the same as good. But it was full of... stuff. You'd never get to the end of it. It was always springing new things on you...
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
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He said to people: you’re free. And they said hooray, and then he showed them what freedom costs and they called him a tyrant and, as soon as he’d been betrayed, they milled around a bit like barn-bred chickens who’ve seen the big world outside for the first time, and then they went back into the warm and shut the door—
— Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay
It’s May 25th and I’m reading the wrong book (not that it’s ever wrong to read any Discworld book at any time, of course). But anyway, in support of truth, justice, freedom, reasonably-priced love, and a hard-boiled egg, here’s the best quote I’ve come across so far today.
#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett#the glorious 25th of may#feet of clay#sam vimes#stoneface vimes#discworld
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It's interesting re-reading Sir Terry Pratchett's books in a random order, because there are connections that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. I read Johnny and the Dead immediately after The Wee Free Men, and these two passages struck me in a similar way:
And what there was about the Queen's voice was this: It said, in a friendly, understanding way, that she was right and you were wrong. And this wasn't your fault, exactly. It was probably the fault of your parents, or your food, or something so terrible that you've completely forgotten about it. It wasn't your fault, the Queen understood, because you were a nice person. It was just such a terrible thing that all these bad influences had made you make the wrong choices.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
The words would fill up the hall until they were higher than people's heads. They were smooth, soothing words. Soon they'd close over the top of all the trilbies and woolly hats, and everyone would be sitting there like sea anemones. They'd come here with things to say, even if they didn't know how to say them. The thing was to keep your head down. But if you did keep your head down, you'd drown in other people's words.
-- Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
Both of them describe dealing with an adversary who is smooth-talking, articulate, eloquent; someone who is apt to win the argument by saying things perfectly and making you look stupid and silly and wrong, no matter how right you actually are. Someone who can even make you question whether you are right.
I feel this in my bones because in pretty much any situation, no matter how much I believe in my own opinion I can never coherently explain it to anyone else, if they don't already agree with me. I stammer, and get confused, and can't find the right word, and lose the thread, and give up. It doesn't matter, I think.
Of course the stakes are a lot higher for Tiffany and Johnny in these books. And of course (spoiler, but not really) they find the strength, and the words, to not be overridden and out-talked and silenced and gaslighted (gaslit?), but to push back and say what they need to say.
I wonder if Terry Pratchett drew on his own experience with having a speech impediment, here. I imagine that there were a lot of occasions in his early life where people talked over him, didn't take him seriously, didn't let him finish what he was saying. And, well. We all know that as it turned out he was extremely worth listening to.
Just because someone has difficulty speaking doesn't mean that they don't have something worthwhile to say. Be patient.
Just because someone is eloquent and well-spoken doesn't mean that they're telling the truth or have your best interests at heart. Practice critical thinking.
And most importantly your opinion matters, and you should express it, however imperfectly.
#terry pratchett#terry pratchett gnu#discworld#tiffany aching#johnny maxwell#the wee free men#johnny and the dead
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I think that the Tiffany Aching books, for all of the crazy Nac Mac Feegle antics, have at least as much that hits hard and makes you think as the main Discworld series. It's crazy that these are children's books, except really it's wonderful that there are children's books like this.
"Ye ken how to be strong, do ye?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Good. D'ye ken how to be weak? Can ye bow to the gale, can ye bend to the storm?"
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
"We dinna mourn like ye do, ye ken. We mourn for them that has tae stay behind."
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
(Actually in large part that's what we mourn for too)
"Ye'll find the way if ye tak' yer time. Just don't stamp yer foot and expect the world to do yer biddin'."
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
"Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices."
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
She wasn't being brave or noble or kind. She was doing this because it had to be done, because there was no way that she could not do it.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
I've been given something for a while, and the price of it is that I have to give it back.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
He just looked like someone who'd been frightened for so long, it had become part of his life, like freckles.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
But you had to start small, like oak trees.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
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Tiffany Aching being a mood.
"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it."
"No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
She tried to pretend she hadn't thought that, but she was treacherously good at spotting when she was lying. That's the trouble with a brain--it thinks more than you sometimes want it to.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
My talents are an instinct for making cheese and not running around panicking when things go wrong. Oh, and I've got a toad.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
She was going to commit an act of extreme bravery and no one would ever know if it all went wrong. That was frightening, but also... annoying.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
Bonus quote from the fictional (I hope) Diseases of the Sheep:
"Cloggets are a trembling of the greebs in boggets," she read, "which can lead to inflammation of the lower pasks. If untreated, it may lead to the more serious condition of Sloke. Recommended treatment is the daily dosing with turpentine until there is no longer either any trembling, or turpentine, or sheep."
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
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"Fairyland" in The Wee Free Men being a video game:
The trees here, though, were different. She had a strong feeling that they were blobs, and were growing the roots and twigs and other details as she got closer, as if they were thinking, "Quick, someone's coming! Look real!" It was like being in a painting where the artist hadn't bothered much with the things in the distance, but quickly rushed in a bit of realness anywhere you were looking.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
(It appears to be called frustrum culling: adding more or less detail depending on the where the player is looking)
The masked people at the party paid her no attention either. And that's because they're background people, she thought, just like the background trees.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
(NPCs)
#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett#discworld#tiffany aching#the wee free men#just thought it was interesting
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ATTENTION TO ALL GOOD OMENS, LOCKWOOD AND CO, MARAUDERS, SUPERNATURAL, AND UMBRELLA ACADEMY FANS
If you still haven’t watched Dead Boy Detectives, I think you absolutely should watch the entire thing since the show embodies the all of these shows in one. It’s literally about two ghost ‘friends’ solving other people’s death because their deaths were never solved, it has the angst and so many laughs too.
And I know some people may be afraid about the show being canceled, but the only way to prevent a show from being cancelled is by actually watching it. Completion rates is how Netflix renews things, so please complete the show in its entirety. There is a mass watching event/watch party for old and new viewers from this Friday to Sunday, starting at 1pm EASTERN. Please join and help out.
If I haven’t convinced you, at least tell a friend about it who may seem interested in the show.
End the cancellation streak, allow queer/ya shows to have more than one season. Queer teens and just teens in general deserve more shows, the same shows we got.
#good omens#lockwood and co#marauders#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#neil gaiman#lgbtq#netflix#lgbtqia#ofmd#renew dead boy detectives#payneland#crystal palace#interview with the vampire#the sandman universe#niko sasaki#dead gay detectives#fandom#fanfic#jenny the butcher#stranger things#queer#supernatural#<- prev tags#also i think#julie and the phantoms
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Holy hell, I wasn't expecting to find a rebuttal to Thornton Wilder's Our Town in a (supposedly) children's book with a 9-year-old protagonist.
No human could live like this. You could spend a day looking at a flower to see how wonderful it is, and that wouldn't get the milking done. No wonder we dream our way through our lives. To be awake, and see it all as it really is... no one could stand that for long.
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
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Happy Good Omens bookiversary! Here is my copy of the paperback, purchased in 1992. I don’t see this cover around much these days.
It’s in pretty good shape considering how old and often-read and well-loved it is! I’ve never dropped it in parsnip soup so there is that.
#good omens book#good omens book anniversary#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#terry pratchett gnu#thank you neil and terry#parsnip soup#good omens
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(via https://cap-that.com)
You think maybe Aziraphale calls Crowley “nice” and “kind” specifically to get this reaction?
#maybe subconsciously but#he keeps doing it#and he doesn’t look surprised#or upset#good omens#aziracrow
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This was one of Tiffany's first memories: of being held by her mother at the window one frosty night in early spring, with a million brilliant stars glinting over the mountains and, on the darkness of the downs, the one yellow star in the constellation of Granny Aching zigzagging through the night. She wouldn't go to bed while a lamb was lost, however bad the weather....
-- Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
Just. The imagery. The cadence. The alliteration. This is a middle grade book but Sir Terry didn't write down to his audience.
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Reasonable reactions to other people’s headcanons imo:
I love that headcanon, scooch over now it’s mine too
I love that headcanon, I can’t say I entirely believe it but I’ll definitely vacation there good job
That headcanon isn’t for me but I love it for you, enjoy
I don’t see why there should be any other options?
#okay maybe it’s weird to be like i believe this one imaginary thing but this other equally imaginary thing is a bridge too far#but on the other hand idc#fandoms#headcanons#people are different
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Roundup of my favorite quotes from Men at Arms. (There are so many. This is after editing it down by at least half.)
And then her gaze met that of a small, non-descript mongrel dog watching her very intently from under a cart. In fact non-descript was not what it was. It was very easy to descript. It looked like halitosis with a wet nose.
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Angua picked out the bottle and looked at the label. "C. M. O. T. Dibbler's Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew," she read. "He's going to die! It says, 'One hundred and fifty percent proof'!"
"Nah, that's just old Dibbler's advertising," said Nobby. "It ain't got no proof. Just circumstantial evidence."
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian's opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be.
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Someone thumped at the door.
"That's probably an angry mob right now," said Nobby.
Carrot opened the door. "It's not an angry mob," he announced.
"Ook."
"It's an orangutan carrying a stunned dwarf followed by a troll. But he is quite angry, if that's any help."
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
"[H]as there been, in your opinion, an irreparable breakdown of law and order in the city?"
"They turned over Throat Dibbler's barrow and made him eat two of his own sausages-inna-bun!"
"Oh, I say!" said Colon.
"Without mustard!"
"I think we can call that a Yes," said Carrot.
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration. He'd seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he'd never seen anyone bluff with no cards.
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
"This your club with a nail in it. You will eat it. You will sleep on it! When Detritus say Jump, you say... what color!"
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
"Clothing has never been what you might call a thingy of dog wossname." Gaspode scratched his ear. "Two metasyntactic variables there. Sorry."
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
"As I was a-walking along Lower Broadway,
The recruiting party came picking up people by their ankles and saying they were going to volunteer to join the Watch unless they wanted their goohuloog heads kicked in,
So I went via Peach Pie Street and Holofernes instead,
Singing: Too-ra-li, etc."
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
Despite his deep distrust of magic, he quite liked the wizards. They didn't cause trouble. At least, they didn't cause his kind of trouble. True, occasionally they fractured the time/space continuum or took the canoe of reality too close to the white waters of chaos, but they never broke the actual law.
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
"Would he accept?"
"Is the High Priest an Offlian? Does a dragon explode in the woods?"
-- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
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