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Roleplay Partner(s) Needed
Hey! I’m 24 years old and I’ve been role playing since I was 11! I’m a descriptive writer, usually including 4-5 paragraphs. I do prefer longer responses but I’m flexible! I can write in 1st or 3rd person, I have no preference! I will only rp with people 18+ but ideally 21+ :)
I’m not very picky about plots! I’m good with most ideas but of course I’ll let you know if something bothers me, but again, I’m pretty flexible.
I’ve mostly role played 1D and 5Sos but I’m good with OC’s and other fandoms:
-bts
-ahs
-twisted series
-the summer i turned pretty
-my life with the walter boys
-PTV, BMTH
-just ask!
I love doing doubles and I’m good with mxf, mxm, and fxm but my plot will be mxf
DM me if interested! Here is my telegram as well :) @seamarinaa
#1d roleplay#roleplay partner finder#1d rp#roleplay partner ad#5sos roleplay#5sos rp#bookblr#booktok#twisted series#oc
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“I want nothing. I just want the emptiness to mean something.”
— Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories (via wordsnquotes)
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“I feel like a dead blue sea – can’t feel any more.”
— Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Ethel Smyth c. January 1935 (via woolfdaily)
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The Night We Met
•Take me back to the night we met•
I will start our story off with the night that we met. A month ago I graduated with my Associate’s at a trade school for ultrasound. I decided to go back to the same school to receive my bachelor’s. I had 6 months of externship so I haven’t been at school for 7 months. During those 7 months, you joined the same school, but for information technology. It was my second or third day back at school and it was break time. I didn’t know many people in my class since most of my bachelor’s class was composed of people from other cycles in the associate’s program. The bachelor’s class was a night class from 5:45pm-10:45pm. Most people go to a conventional college so to compare it to something, it was like a small highschool but for grown ups. We took one class a day for 5 hours and had two small breaks and a bigger lunch break.
It was time for my lunch break and I made a cup of noodles, also having some snacks I brought from home. I sat at a table by myself, eating and looking at my phone. I was never the person to start a conversation or invite myself to sit somewhere. If anyone knew me, they would say that I’m shy and introverted. The thought of even saying hi to someone new makes me so anxious. One of my teachers talks to me for a second, just talking academics and such. Soon after a woman said “Excuse me”. I brought my head up and saw a young woman sitting with another younger woman and two men. You were one of the two men.
“Do you want to sit with us?” she kindly asks me.
I feel my cheeks turn dark red already, my whole face heating up and my armpits tingling with sweat. “Sure” I swallow the lump in my throat and grab my food, walking over and sitting in between you and the younger girl. I glance at the people in front of me. They introduce themselves. The girl who invited me over was Jessie. She looked about thirty, Hispanic with black hair, big brown eyes, and several tattoos. The younger girl next to me was Cassandra, she looked around my age. She was skinny, also Hispanic with lighter skin, very slender and a face full of make up. The older man was Gabriel, he looked about thirty as well and had a heavier build. He has lighter skin, some facial hair, and a kind smile. And then there was you. You were right next to me. You had darker skin which I loved. You had tattoos, the one I noticed first was the cross on your neck. You had a dark green jacket on and a hat which covered your facial features but I was able to make out most of your face. I thought you were attractive which automatically made me nervous. New people already make my heart race, but attractive people make my head scramble. The impression you gave me was a bad boy. You had this attitude of that you don’t care, you control life around you, and you’re just enjoying life one day at a time. With every person I met or saw, I always got a vibe from them and I can make a story for them already in my head. Often times I’m right about some of the things I can guess about them. I already knew you were a trouble maker. I was wrong for thinking that because you caused more than trouble in my life. But that’s when I first met you, Leo.
“Are you new?” Asks Jessie.
“Oh no” I shake my head, knowing that they would be asking questions about me which I was fine with but I hated the pressure of first impressions. Going with the flow of conversations was never something I was good at doing. I always felt dumb in those kind of situations. I was much more comfortable with just being there and observing. But that is also kind of strange, since I hate the feeling of being left out or overlooked. I wanted to be heard but I was too afraid to speak. See my problem? “I’ve been going to school here for almost 2 years. I was at my externship for my associates and I’m back for my bachelor’s so I haven’t physically been here at the campus in a while.” They all nod their heads, understanding the situation.
“Well we all thought that you were new since you were sitting alone” Jessie explains the reasoning of her sudden invite. She wanted to make me feel comfortable and not so alone. Looking back, I really appreciate that. Not many people are brave or have the heart to do something like that, especially a stranger they have only seen for 2 minutes. She wanted to welcome me and make sure that I can at least see some familiar faces while I’m here.
Jessie asked for my name.
“Luna” I say. My heart is still beating so fast. I hate new encounters, they give me so much anxiety. What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m weird?
“Lane?” Questions Gabe.
“No, Luna” Jessie says with a Mexican accent. Gabe nods and understands this time. This happens often, as my name isn’t very common. I have gotten used to it over the years. An uncommon name that just so happens to sound like other, very common names. “Right?” Jessie confirms with me.
I nod my head and smile softly. “Yeah that’s it” I say.
“I’m Jessie”
“I’m Gabe”
“I’m Cassandra”
“I’m Leo” You say. These words can still echo in my head all day. I wish I could go back in time and listen to them all over again. Little did I know, you would be the biggest part of my life in just a few months.
“Do you live around here?” Jessie asks me. I didn’t think much of this question, but knowing what I know now this question answers a lot of questions about me.
“No I live kind of far. I live in Laguna. It's about 45 minutes away” I say. They all nod their heads, but unsure about the area. “It’s more down south and close to the beach” I explain further and they all seem to have a better understanding of where I’m from…..and who I am.
“We’re all from around here” Says Jessie, but Gabriel interjects and says he lives in one city over.
For better understanding for anyone reading, the area the school is in is in a heavily Hispanic populated area. Where I live does have many hispanics as well, but there are many other groups too. It has more diversity and a higher caucasian population than where they live and grew up. Also their area has been called “ghetto” and “poor”. I don’t like to use those words, but they are the words you, Leo, would describe the area you live in. But to put all honesty and no sugar-coating, I grew up in a nice area with privileges you and the other people who grew up in the area you live in. You often call me “rich”. But I didn’t feel rich, there were many people much more wealthy than me. But in comparison, I would see why you would call me that. I grew up in safe neighborhoods and good schools. You grew up with gangs and underfunded schools. Okay, moving on from that.
I don’t really remember where they conversation went after that. I’m sure we talked about what we’re going to school for. I can remember parts of the conversation.
I remember they talked about being Mexican. Gabriel made a joke about looking white since his skin was lighter. I used my ‘oh so great’ social skills to relate to the conversation. “It’s okay I understand, I’m only half Mexican. People think I’m white all the time” I say, which is true. My mom is from Mexico and my dad is American.
“Oh really, do you speak Spanish?” Gabe asks.
“Uh well…. I’m good and listening and understanding. And I can read and write very well, but I’m not good at speaking” I admit…..which is true. I’m not sure why my mom never did a better job at teaching me to speak when I was growing up but there’s not much I can do now.
“So we can’t talk shit about you?” You joke and laugh.
“No you can’t!” I say in a sassy voice which surprised all of us. I just met you and you’re already annoying me.
“Oooooooo” They all say and laugh, you laugh too. I can picture it now. You smile with your mouth open and teeth showing. Your eyes scrunch up into their own smile but you can still see them twinkle with joy. Seeing you smile and laugh has to be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I wish I can see it all the time.
The conversation went here and there. I could tell you and your friends were very different from me. You guys were all so relaxed and easy going and good at keeping conversations going. I was too nervous to speak much and I wish I could be able to talk back so easily like that.
It was time for me to go back to class so I got up and dismissed myself. They all said goodbye and I threw my trash away and went back to class. I still felt nervous. I still felt my heart beating fast. I knew I didn’t embarrass myself but my anxiety got me overthinking the entire situation.
That was when we first met. I’ve brought up this interaction with you before and you say you don’t really remember. I thought that was crazy because that happens to me often. I always remember the first interactions I have with people, but they never remember. Maybe I don’t make that strong of an impression. Maybe first time interactions just stick to my memory. If someone told me back then that you were my person I would laugh in their face. I never thought you were my person but you are. Little did I know that you would change my world, and I would change yours.
This is the start of our beautiful and tragic love story. So stick around and see just now twisted my world came to be. And Leo, if you’re reading this, I am not lying. Everything I say here is the truth. I am not entirely sure why I am writing this. I don’t have any other inspiration but you. You have consumed my mind and you will live there forever. I can’t keep you in my mind. You need to come out. I need to see you on paper. I want to bring you to life with my writing. I will tell everyone just how it is. I will keep you, your friends, and your family anonymous. Keep reading if you like. Maybe you’ll like it.
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“people go but how they left always stays”
— Rupi Kaur; milk and honey
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Last night I kissed you and said good bye
But we didn’t say I love you
I wanted so badly to run to you and embrace you like I can never let you go and tell you everything I love about you
Would you believe me?
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I feel myself beginning to love you instead of just need you. I don’t think I have ever loved anyone in my life, not really—just needed them, wanted them to love me to possess me—to become such a part of someone that I could lose my frightened self… Now, I am learning—very slowly, with lots of backing and filling, but still learning… I find myself occasionally loving you not because I need you, or want your love, and feel in love—but rather an objective welling within my heart that comes from the sometimes whole person… whatever it is, I give it to you with no strings attached—
Anne Sexton, From A Self-Portrait in Letters
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Lori Gottlieb
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“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”
— Sylvia Plath
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I’m also looking for the person I used to be, so stop asking where she went. She left me so quickly I didn’t see where she went either
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I want someone to look at me like I’m the sun, moon, and stars all in one
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I don’t know why, but every once in a while you find your way into my dreams. You’re just there, doing whatever it is that people do in dreams. It’s not even a romantic thing, it’s just that you won’t leave my subconscious.
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I wonder how it feels to have someone fall head over heels for you
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“It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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