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xiu21chen99 · 4 years

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“Say No to This” (hisoillu headcanon/imagine)

day 2: disguises for #hisoilluweek by @illumizoldycks

(hc, the first time illu gets jealous)

where Illumi comes home in a pin-morphed disguise to see how Hisoka would react to someone else coming home to him.

Illumi was on his way back to his and Hisoka’s shared apartment in Yorkshin when the idea dawned on him

It was a random thought, one that made his stomach feel queasy for unknown reasons- how would his supposed fiance react if someone else came home?

He knew this silly prenup situation was an act of business and not love, but still, he was curious to see how loyal Hisoka could be. After all, he hasn’t brought anyone into their apartment ever since he gave Illumi his engagement ring.

But to what extent will the magician be able to hold out to?

Illumi stopped at the border of Yorkshin, grabbing a few pins from his coat pocket.

Who should he turn into? It should definitely be someone who’s had experience with Hisoka, someone who’s ravished his fiance in ways he has yet to do.

And someone who wished to kill him, of course, because Hisoka would never settle for anyone less.

He thought back to the Ryodan- Lucilfer, maybe? But Hisoka’s lost all fondness for him when he killed him.That only left...

Illumi sighed and punctured his back and chest, losing a few inches of height and gaining, well, womanly features on his front. He pressed a few into his scalp, willing his dark straight locks into spiky pink.

He bought an outfit from the first shop he saw, and walked back to his destination.

It was quite chilly tonight, and these shorts did little to help.

He skipped reception and went straight to the elevator, to the top floor where their suite awaited. Hisoka would be asleep, he always slept early to “avoid eyebags” as if he couldn’t cover it up with Texture Surprise.

Illumi procured one of his needles and a string of thread which he also bought from that boutique, and infused some nen into both of them to imitate his disguise’s power.

The elevator doors opened, and he stepped out into the long hallway where only one door stood at the end of it. The whole floor was theirs.

He unlocked their apartment door and closed it silently. With careful steps, he tiptoed into their shared bedroom, where Hisoka lied face down, shirtless in the sheets, fast asleep.

Illumi walked closer, and when he reached the foot of the bed he jumped at his fiance’s back, making his nen-infused thread glow as he pressed it against Hisoka’s neck.

“What the-” Hisoka started, but only coughed when Illumi pressed the thread closer.

Illumi showed the side of his face, lit by the moonlight bleeding from their balcony, and smirked lightly for effect.

“Machi? What the hell-”

“This is for my friends, you stupid fucking clown,” Illumi said in his morphed voice, wrapping the thin thread tighter around the man’s neck, and for a moment he thought Hisoka wouldn’t fight him, wouldn’t fight Machi.

And that brought a bitter taste in Illumi’s tongue, knowing his fiance will succumb to the spider he portrayed.

But then a card flew in, one that boomerang’d in the air and snapped Illumi’s thread.

He fell back, momentarily losing his balance but that was enough for Hisoka to flip over and take him pin him to the bed by the hands. “Where the fuck did you even get that card?!” Illumi asked, mimicking Machi’s tone and speech near perfectly.

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Hisoka winked, and Illumi felt the familiar stickiness of Bungee Gum wrap around his arms. No Machi would certainly not back down just yet.

Illumi pulled his legs back and thrashed them around, trying to land a kick somewhere but Hisoka pillowed them between his thighs, then in Bungee Gum. He groaned in that distinctly annoyed way Machi always did.

“Let me go you asshole-”

“Hush now, Machi. We don’t want security to check in on us like this, do we?” Hisoka squeezed his waist, his now thinned down waist.

“So,” the clown started, “how’d you find me?”

“You’re stupid if you think I’m going to answer that.”

“Feisty Machi, gosh how I missed you,” Hisoka sighed, plopping down next to him, “everything’s been so boring, y’know? I’ve never pegged myself as the domestic type, but moving to an apartment in a busy city, having a fiance who works non-stop. Can you blame a guy for being restless?”

Ouch.

“I don’t care about your marriage problems, just get this sticky thing off of me!”

Hisoka craned his neck to look at him- no, at Machi- with something akin to fondness, “I really did miss your fire.”

“Hisoka, I swear I will rip your head off if you don’t get this shit off of me-”

Then Hisoka was kissing him. No, kissing Machi.

They’ve only kissed twice before, once years before when they were still young. The other, a formality when Hisoka gave him the ring. Neither of those felt like this, felt like Hisoka wanted to breathe in all of the oxygen out of his lungs.

Before Illumi could lose his logical thinking, he bit him, bit the tongue that prodded his lips to open. Because that’s what Machi would do, she would never indulge Hisoka, right?

The clown had the audacity to moan as he pulled back, straddling (his) Machi’s narrow hips, “does this remind you of anything, dear?”

Hisoka patted his hair, Machi’s hair, as if in thought. Illumi snapped his neck to the side, away from the gentle hand- he’s never that gentle with him, either

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he answered, fake-gagging at the kiss. Illumi would pat himself on the back for doing such a convincing act.

“Come on, Mach, two years ago? At Heaven’s Arena? You’re seriously going to make me spell it out?” Hisoka’s boxers rid up as he pressed his weight on his hips, Machi’s hips.

“Shut up!” Illumi turned to the side, gazed out the window where the city slept. Something rearranged his insides, pooled deep in his stomach and pulled lightly at his heartstrings. Two years ago? That was some time after they took the Hunter’s Exams.

He felt Hisoka snuggle into his neck, Machi’s neck, felt wet kisses and sharp canines bite into his skin. “Come on, I pressed you against the window.”

Hisoka’s hands slid up his newly bought shirt, then under to the bralette he was made to buy as well. Illumi struggled in his hands, because Machi would have refused this, right?

Right?

“Played with your hair,” Hisoka whispered into his ear, then bit the lobe of it. Illumi yelped, surprised. Then squealed, disgusted. He could only hope his act was still convincing.

He got a card, from somewhere, and used it to rip Illumi’s shirt in half. Hisoka hummed, pleased to see his exposed chest- well, Machi’s

“Held you by the waist like this,” Hisoka continued, fingers caressing his skin in gentle strokes that Illumi felt himself shudder, his fingers settled on his- Machi’s- bare waist.

“Then I asked you if you wanted to spend the night with me.”

Illumi felt sick now but he refused to meet Hisoka’s searching eyes.

Hisoka moved his hands to his back, towards the slightly sunken spine Illumi guessed Machi would have.

He felt one hand leave his torso, and then fingers trapped his chin and made him turn to the despicable man on top of him. Hisoka was smirking, he looked so smug Illumi wanted to punch him.

Hisoka dived in to kiss him, full lips and tongue and moans and- fuck, Illumi let himself kiss back.

“Then you said,” Hisoka sighed as they separated, breathless. A hand was in his hair now, playing with his scalp while the other traced slow circles at the base of his spine.

Illumi bit back the sighs at both the slow ministrations. If he was going to be trapped here under Hisoka while disguised as Machi then he should just make the most of it.

“Then you said no.”

Huh?

Illumi blinked to hide the fact that his eyes were blown wide open. Well, that wasn’t what he expected.

“I said no then, I’m saying it again now. Get the fuck off of me!”

Hisoka’s hands stop, press into his skin slowly. Illumi struggled around the groping hands, feigning disgust when he knew deep down he just wanted to be held like this.

Then, Illumi felt it. And Hisoka did too.

Illumi froze, as Hisoka’s hands settle over the exposed pin heads on his skin.

Hisoka smiled, pearly canines shown and all as he looked down at him.

Did he know?

Illumi tensed, feeling calloused fingers circle around his pins. There were three lined up on his back that gave him the illusion of breasts and subsequently lost him a few inches of height, while four settled on top of his head, that changed his hair and facial features and voice, hidden in the pink bush.

“Love, did you honestly think I wouldn’t have picked up what you were doing?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Illumi wriggled away, tried to anyways. Stupid Bungee Gum, stupid Hisoka.

In a flash, Hisoka pulled all seven pins out. Illumi grunted from the sudden pull, mentally unprepared for the physical changes his body went through.

“You should warn me next time,”

“Love, you attacked me. Now let’s hear the reason,” Hisoka threw the pins to the side, some splintering his wooden bedside table and others scratching their tiled floor,

“Release me, first?”

“Hmm, no.”

Illumi sighed, avoiding his fiance’s gaze, “I was curious how you’d react...”

“React to what?” Hisoka encouraged. Illumi glanced over, just a quick snap of his neck before going back to the balcony.

“To having someone else come home to you.”

Hisoka chuckled over him, “oh darling.” He felt Bungee Gum evaporate from his wrists. With his hands free, Illumi covered his face with them, feeling the burn of embarrassment hit his cheeks. He felt his bone structure morph back to normal.

“I’m set to marry you because you’re the only one I want to even share a home with,” Hisoka reached over, pulling his hands away. Illumi didn’t fight, too tired to do so. “You don’t need the guise of someone else, I’ll only await for your return, only enjoy your presence in our home,”

Illumi leaned up, finally able to kiss Hisoka with his own lips, savoring the taste of his fiance.

The Bungee Gum on his leg faded too, then Hisoka was pulling him over and down, settling Illumi over him.

Hisoka still kissed him like he wanted to ravish him, like he wanted to drain all the oxygen out of Illumi’s lungs so he was the only thing Illumi could breathe in, still held him gently, as if he weren’t a cold blooded assassin, as if he were someone precious enough to be held with care.

They part, breathless. Illumi leaned, his forehead pressed tenderly against Hisoka’s as they try to catch their breath.

“Was all of that, true?” Illumi asked, still panting.

“Of course, love, I’m marrying you, aren’t I?” Hisoka chuckled between breaths.

“No, I meant about Machi, did you-”

“Well, it was half true.”

Illumi frowned, but Hisoka gave the space between his scrunched eyebrows a peck, and he didn’t feel all too... jealous? anymore.

“I didn’t touch her, she’d have punched me and left me with a severed arm if I did. I only asked her to dinner, and that was before the incident in this very city we’re living in,” Hisoka explained, brushing away the fallen strands of his hair away, black hair not pink. His hair, not Machi’s.

“Would you rather I-”

“I’d rather you stay like this, my lovely Illumi Zoldyck.”

Illumi snorted but he felt his skin tingle at his fiance’s words.

They meet again, lips on lips, hungry for more.

Later, that night under the sheets, the naked pair embraced each other, lazily spent. Hisoka had his arm around Illumi’s shoulders while Illumi hugged his fiance by the waist, fingers fiddling with the terrain of scarred skin.

“You know,” Illumi broke the peaceful silence, “I can’t comprehend Machi’s choice, on how she said no to this- no to you.”

“But...?”

“But I’m glad,” he sighed, tilting his head up from its place on Hisoka’s chest, receiving Hisoka’s eyes that stared at him lovingly, “I’m glad she refused, because you’re mine.”

“I am, love, as you are mine.”

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