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Wove Therapy
A psychotherapy practice in NYC that specializes in providing intersectional, compassionate care for all.
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The Intersection of Spirituality and Mental Health
In the pursuit of holistic well-being, the intersection of spirituality and mental health can be both profound and multifaceted. Across various cultural landscapes, people find solace, purpose, and resilience through their spiritual beliefs and practices. When taking a Western approach to psychotherapy, many clinicians overlook this intersection. However, for many individuals within BIPOC and religious communities, spirituality can enhance the therapeutic experience.
Spirituality is the search for meaning, purpose, and connection to something greater than oneself. While spirituality may include religion, it doesn't necessarily have to. Spirituality is an expression of the transcendent ways to fulfill human potential and is a synonym for constructs such as hope, meaning, wholeness, and harmony (Salicru, 2022). Understanding spirituality is crucial to appreciating its impact on mental health across cultures.
The Role of Spirituality in Mental Health:
Studies have shown that individuals with a strong sense of spiritual well-being tend to experience better mental health outcomes and greater overall well-being (Saad et al., 2022). Spiritual practices such as prayer, forgiveness, gratitude, and contemplation have been linked to biological and psychological changes that promote mental and emotional resilience. Additionally, spiritual beliefs and practices can provide a sense of calm in times of stress or adversity, offering a sense of meaning, purpose, and connection to something greater than oneself (Saad et al., 2022).
Spirituality can also play a role in mental health through:
Coping Mechanisms: In times of adversity, individuals often turn to their spiritual beliefs as a source of comfort and resilience. Practices such as prayer, meditation, and rituals offer a structured way to manage stress and anxiety.
Community Support: Many spiritual traditions emphasize communal ties, providing a support network that can be invaluable during challenging times. Participation in religious or spiritual communities facilitates a sense of belonging and social connection, essential for mental well-being.
Meaning and Purpose: Spirituality often provides a framework for understanding life's purpose and finding meaning in both joyous and difficult experiences. A strong sense of purpose can contribute to a positive outlook and greater emotional stability.
Integrating Spirituality in Psychotherapy:
Integrating spirituality into therapy can be a powerful tool for addressing clients’ holistic needs, encompassing emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions. By incorporating spiritual beliefs, practices, and values into therapy sessions, therapists can provide a more comprehensive approach to healing and growth. This approach recognizes the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit and acknowledges the importance of addressing spiritual concerns in the therapeutic process.
Spirituality can be utilized within the therapy setting by exploring clients' spiritual beliefs and values. Therapists can facilitate conversations about spirituality by employing a spiritual intake at the start of therapy, which asks questions about a client’s religious traditions and spirituality growing up. For example, a therapist may ask their client during intake, “how were spiritual beliefs and values expressed in your family? To what degree does that background influence how you view things today? Would you like to integrate spirituality and religion into clinical care as we work toward your goals?” (Abrams, 2023). Therapists should create a safe and nonjudgmental space for clients to discuss these religious and spiritual backgrounds, the role of spirituality in their lives, and any existential questions or struggles they may be experiencing.
Therapists can incorporate spiritual practices such as mindfulness meditation, guided imagery, or prayer into therapy sessions to help clients cultivate inner peace, resilience, and self-awareness. Therapists can also ask their clients to reflect on particular aspects of their religious or spiritual traditions that cultivate hope and resilience. For example, many members of religious communities find inspiration from historical religious figures that faced adversity and hardship throughout their lives. Therapists may also encourage clients to reconnect with a religious or spiritual community that has previously provided support (Abrams, 2023). These practices can serve as valuable tools for managing stress, anxiety, and depression and for promoting emotional healing and personal growth.
Therapists must also consider their biases around religion and spirituality (Abrams, 2023) and approach the topic of spirituality with sensitivity, respect, and cultural humility. This includes being mindful of clients' diverse spiritual beliefs and backgrounds, avoiding imposing their own beliefs onto clients, and ensuring that clients feel empowered to explore and express their spirituality in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them (Abrams, 2023).
Spirituality and mental health are intertwined for many people by providing a framework for understanding and navigating life's challenges. Acknowledging spirituality within the therapeutic setting can be helpful for people who find spirituality important in their lives. Ultimately, acknowledging different spiritual and cultural practices in therapy can enhance the therapeutic relationship and facilitate a more inclusive approach to well-being.
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Internal Family Systems and Parts Work
It is part of colloquial language to describe the experience of “internal conflict” or to distinguish between a part of oneself which wants one thing while a separate part of oneself wants another. Internal Family Systems (IFS) takes this a step further and questions which parts of you are in conflict and why does each part want what it wants? And instead of identifying a good part and a bad part, or an angelic side and a devilish side, or a unified self with sick, damaged, shameful rogue parts which need to be fixed, IFS “conceives of every human being as a system of protective and wounded inner parts led by a core Self” (IFS Institute).
So what is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems is a non-pathologizing, evidence-based practice developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, who began his career as a systemic family therapist and an academic. In working with individual clients, Schwartz found that people consist of various parts, or sub-personalities, which people often recognize and reference within themselves. By tuning into the relationships amongst parts within individuals, he recognized that these relationships are organized in similar patterns to those he saw within the families he counseled. By the IFS Model, a person is an ecosystem of relatively discrete minds. Each part is designed with specific qualities to play a valuable role within each person and has the best of intentions in carrying out this role. However, life experiences force these parts out of their roles, reorganizing the system in unhealthy ways. Thus, inner parts become wounded and protective.
When these parts feel safe and seen, Schwartz found that his clients experienced the emergence of one’s core Self, characterized by the 8 C’s: confidence, calm, compassion, courage, creativity, clarity, curiosity, and connectedness. IFS operates with the belief that this confident, compassionate, whole person is at the core of every individual, and one’s core Self knows how to heal and cannot be damaged. Accessing and healing the protective and wounded inner parts of oneself and freeing them from their forced roles is the goal of IFS. This is done through helping one access their Self, and through that Self, creating inner and outer connection and understanding and healing their parts.
So what are “parts”?
Parts make up the multiple sub-personalities, or families, within a person’s mental system. Wounded parts are often associated with painful emotions like anger and shame, which leads to their protective role of keeping one’s self from experiencing the painful feelings of these parts.
Parts often play 3 common roles:
Exiles - hold hurt, shame, fear, and other difficult emotions from early experiences. Exiles are the youngest, most vulnerable parts of a person, one’s “inner child”. They have often experienced trauma, and the burden of holding these emotions keeps this inner child frozen in time. Exiles may begin as joyful and playful parts, but they are often highly sensitive and prone to being hurt.
Managers - aim to keep exiles hidden and contained separate from conscious awareness in order to avoid distress and pain. Managers take on the protective role of controlling people’s surroundings and managing emotions and tasks to continue navigating daily life. It is the voice people most often hear, looking out for one’s day-to-day safety and proactively protecting one from feeling any pain or rejection. Managers are attentive to following rules and keeping up appearances to align with what is considered socially acceptable. This can appear as perfectionism, people-pleasing, care-taking, overthinking, and self-criticism.
Firefighters - activated when exiles produce overwhelming, painful, or threatening emotions that get past managers. The goal of firefighters is to inhibit these emotions by any means necessary. Firefighters are similarly protective of the most vulnerable parts of oneself, but they tend to be reactive and informed by pain which leads to a different approach than managers. Firefighters may show protective action through alcohol and drug use, binging, cutting, or lashing out at other people.
Sub-personalities are often in conflict with each other and with one’s core Self. For example, managers and firefighters especially tend to be at odds. Part of oneself may want meaningful connection while another part of oneself fears rejection and wants to hold back. This conflict, called polarization, creates feelings of stuckness, overwhelm, and being torn in different directions.
IFS focuses on re-harmonizing parts that are in conflict with one another and empowering the Self to lead in all parts of life. When someone is able to access and operate through their Self, their parts may be liberated from the extreme roles they have been forced into, and trust in one’s Self can be restored. Much like within families or groups of people and their parts, by acknowledging and caring for one’s inner parts, a sense of belonging and connection is fostered. This is important in fostering an environment in which one’s inner parts realize they do not have to be completely alone or solely responsible for taking care of oneself. Being in communication with various parts of oneself comes with varying levels of difficulty, but with patience and tenderness, parts can eventually take on healthier roles. Inner critics can become cheerleaders or a source of safe advisory, exhausted caretakers can help set boundaries, and rageful parts can help discern what or who is safe.
So what does IFS Therapy look like?
IFS Therapy involves working with a therapist to help identify and understand the parts within oneself. By acknowledging difficult emotions and caring for wounded parts with the 8 C’s of one’s Self, one’s parts are released from being trapped in extreme roles. Underlying problems may be addressed and healthy conflict management can be learned. Therapists may utilize various techniques to help clients identify and connect with their parts such as relaxation exercises, visualization, journaling, and documenting relationships between various parts of oneself and their core Self. IFS Therapy can be useful in working with families, couples, and individuals experiencing various mental health conditions (e.g. depression, anxiety, phobias, panic, physical health conditions, trauma, substance use, general functioning and wellbeing, etc.).
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Building Trust in Relationships
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Whether with a partner, friend, or family member, trust creates intimacy, security, and mutual respect. However, developing and maintaining trust, especially after it has been broken, requires deliberate effort and commitment.
Why Trust is Important
Establishing trust in relationships is important for developing positivity and reducing conflict. Trust enables openness and generosity, increasing one’s ability to forgive their partner for their flaws and build confidence in their loyalty. Even in the face of disappointment, trust encourages partners to give one another the benefit of the doubt and recognize the goodness in the other. Trust enhances closeness and safety within the relationship, creating a solid foundation for mutual reliance, comfort, care, and support (Gupta, 2023). Consider the following tips if you struggle to build trust in your relationships.
Open Communication: Effective and clear communication is critical to building trust. According to the Gottman Institute, openly sharing thoughts, feelings, and concerns lays the groundwork for understanding and empathy. Encourage transparency by actively listening to your partner without judgment. Validating their emotions and experiences creates an environment where both parties feel heard and respected (Carter, n.d.).Consider the "soft start-up" approach, initiating conversations with kindness and respect. By articulating your needs and boundaries calmly, you set the stage for constructive dialogue and problem-solving. Remember, communication isn't just about speaking—it's about actively engaging and empathizing with your partner's perspective.
Consistency and Reliability: Reliability leads to trust. Consistently following through on commitments and promises demonstrates that you are dependable. Reliability also reassures people of your dedication and sincerity in the relationship. Small acts of reliability reinforce trustworthiness, whether it's showing up on time for dates or fulfilling household responsibilities (Gupta, 2023).Prioritize consistency in both words and actions (Carter, n.d.). Be honest about your capabilities and limitations, avoiding overcommitment or false promises. Honoring your commitments instills confidence in your partner, fostering a sense of security and predictability in the relationship.
Vulnerability and Empathy: True intimacy flourishes when partners embrace vulnerability and empathy. By authentically sharing your thoughts and feelings, you can create further intimacy and trust within the relationship. Vulnerability involves disclosing fears, insecurities, and past experiences, leading to deeper emotional connections.Practice empathy by actively understanding and validating your partner's emotions. Empathetic listening involves tuning into your partner's perspective without judgment and offering support and validation. Demonstrating empathy creates a safe space for open dialogue and emotional intimacy, strengthening the bonds of trust and understanding.
Conflict Resolution Skills: Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. However, the way couples navigate disagreements significantly impacts trust and intimacy. It is important to focus on assertively expressing your feelings and needs, avoiding blame and criticism.Practice active listening during conflicts, seeking to understand your partner's viewpoint empathetically (Gupta, 2023). Collaboratively brainstorm solutions and compromises, prioritizing mutual respect and understanding. By resolving conflicts peacefully, couples reinforce trust and respect, increasing resilience in the relationship.
Trust is the foundation of a fulfilling and lasting relationship, but it takes work to create it. Building trust is an ongoing process that requires both partners' patience, empathy, and commitment. By nurturing trust, couples lay the groundwork for a resilient and fulfilling relationship journey.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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The Gut-Brain Connection
Did you know that humans have two brains? Well, not actually, but the gastrointestinal (GI) tract is lined with 100 million nerve cells, making up the gut’s own independent nervous system called the enteric nervous system (ENS). This is why the human gut is often referred to as the “second brain”. You may have been told at some point to listen to your gut or felt butterflies in your stomach or felt your insides twist into knots. Or perhaps you have felt something in your gut before it came to the forefront of your mind. These are all examples of the gut-brain connection, and there is a reason these idioms are so prevalent.
The ENS relies on the same neurons and neurotransmitters as the central nervous system (CNS, consisting of the brain and spinal cord), which helps with communication and interconnection between these systems. One example of this direct communication between the brain and the gut can be seen when one’s fight-or-flight response is activated due to extreme stress in which digestion slows or comes to a halt temporarily such that all of one’s internal energy is channeled towards facing the perceived threat. In less stressful situations, the digestive process may slow or be disrupted, causing abdominal pain or other symptoms of functional GI disorders.
The relationship between environmental or psychological stress and gastrointestinal distress is complex and bidirectional. Each type of stress can activate and exacerbate GI symptoms and vice versa. Stress is especially impactful on gastrointestinal function. Common stress-related GI symptoms include heartburn, indigestion, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, and associated lower abdominal pain. These symptoms are not solely psychological or “made up” in one’s head. Pain and other bowel symptoms result from the combination of psychological and physical factors which lead to actual changes in the physiology of the gut. For example, stress, depression, anxiety, etc. may affect movement and contractions of the GI tract.
It is well-acknowledged that psychological stressors can impact one’s gut, but more recent evidence continues to emerge showing that one’s gut also impacts one’s brain.
The Gut Microbiota
Some sources mention that, within the gut, bacteria outnumber human cells 10:1. Other sources refer to that information as a myth and mention there is too much variability to ascribe this information as universal truth. Either way, it is factual that one’s gut is teeming with these single-celled organisms. The diverse community of microorganisms living within the gut is called the gut microbiota. Research continues to accumulate through a multitude of studies which illuminate how the gut microbiota is connected to the brain.
Gut bacteria produce hundreds of neurochemicals that are involved in the brain’s regulation of basic physiological and mental processes such as learning, memory, and mood. Further, the gut produces and interacts with many of the same neurotransmitters as the brain, such as serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). In fact, the gut produces over 90% of the body’s serotonin, the “happy hormone” strongly associated with mood stability, sleep, and appetite. The presence of various strains of bacteria have been associated with significant increase in activity of brain regions involved in emotion, attention, sensation, and empathy (in addition to memory and processing complex information).
It is clear that the brain and the gut are intimately connected, communicating via signals back and forth between each other. Evidence has emerged which suggests that imbalances in the gut microbiota can disrupt this communication, leading to mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and potentially neurodevelopmental conditions. For example, studies have revealed patients with GI disorders like irritable bowel syndrome and ulcerative colitis to have higher rates of depression and anxiety than healthy control groups.
Intersectionality
Functional GI disorders affect 35% to 70% of people at some point in life, women more often than men (Harvard Health, 2019). Health disparities which disproportionately affect one or more ethnic and racial minority groups also exist when looking at certain digestive issues and diseases, some of which can heighten the risk of cancers (e.g. H. pylori–related gastritis and gastric cancer, inflammatory bowel disease and colon cancer, pancreatitis and pancreatic cancer, and cirrhosis and liver cancer) (Singh et al., 2022). Sexual and gender minorities are also at increased risk for digestive health issues, especially QTBIPOC (Vélez et al., 2022). The gut’s sensitivity to stress and the Minority Stress Theory may help to explain some of these disparities, along with discrimination within currently existing health care systems. Gaining understanding and focusing more attention on the brain-gut connection is thus part of the movement for collective liberation, impacting all minority individuals.
Ways to Promote a Healthier Gut-Brain Connection
Add probiotic foods to your diet: Early studies suggest certain probiotic strains to influence brain function, reduce stress, and improve mood. Although there is much more to discover, a healthy gut microbiome generally contains a diverse mix of bacteria as well as certain key beneficial species such as Bifidobacteria.
Eat more plant foods: Prebiotic fiber acts as fuel for the good bacteria in the gut and can typically be found in plant foods such as asparagus, onions, berries, bananas, and oats. Consuming a diverse array of plant foods rich in prebiotic fiber helps one’s unique gut environment thrive and diversify, supporting research which indicates there is no one-size-fit-all combination of bacteria for a healthy gut microbiome.
Consume less “junk” foods: studies show that highly processed foods that are low in fiber and high in additives (i.e. sugar, salt, artificial ingredients) promote “bad” microbes associated with inflammation, heart disease, and poor metabolic health. Be cognizant of a balanced diet, paying particular attention to frequent consumption of soft drinks, white bread and pasta, processed meats, and packaged snacks (e.g. cookie packs, bags of chips, candy bars, etc.).
Exercise and stay hydrated: Clinical studies have revealed higher levels of physical activity and cardiorespiratory fitness to be positively associated with markers of good gut health such as bacterial diversity and quantity of beneficial species present. Research also supports stress reduction in movement which feels good for one’s body. Staying hydrated promotes optimal gut health, aiding in digestion and the elimination of waste, all of which is directly related to one’s mental health and wellbeing.
Manage stress levels: Although stress may be a non-negotiable part of life that cannot be totally eliminated, there are ways to help manage one’s stress. Exercise, meditation, and mindfulness are all examples of stress-management practices. Consider working with a therapist to help tune in to and identify roots of stressors and explore stress-reduction strategies that feel right for you.
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The Impact of Ramadan on Mental Health
As the holy month of Ramadan approaches, Muslims worldwide eagerly anticipate a period of spiritual reflection, self-discipline, and community engagement. During Ramadan, Muslims fast from dawn to sunset as a foundational pillar of their religion and an act of spiritual reflection. While the primary focus is on fasting, prayer, and acts of kindness, the benefits of Ramadan extend beyond religious observance. Research shows that observing Ramadan can have a positive impact on mental health (Choudhury, 2023).
Cultivation of Mindfulness:
Ramadan encourages Muslims to engage in heightened mindfulness. Fasting can foster a deeper connection with the present moment and help individuals become more aware of their mind and body, promoting self-awareness and a focus on spiritual and mental well-being. During this holy month, Muslims are encouraged to disengage from distractions such as social media and entertainment and engage in self-reflection and prayer, further facilitating mindfulness.
Mindfulness practices have been associated with reduced stress and improved mental health. Being mindful makes it easier to savor the pleasures in life as they occur, enhances engagement in activities, and creates a greater capacity to deal with adverse events. By focusing on the here and now, many people who practice mindfulness find that they are less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past, are less preoccupied with concerns about success and self-esteem, and are better able to form deep connections with others (Harvard Health, 2024).
Spiritual Reflection and Emotional Resilience:
Rituals such as prayer, reflection, and reading of the Quran during Ramadan provide observers with the opportunity for spiritual introspection. This process aids in developing emotional resilience, or one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations, allowing individuals to better cope with life's challenges. People with a higher degree of emotional resilience can handle the stresses of everyday life more effectively and handle crises more easily. A solid spiritual foundation, linked to emotional resilience, contributes to improved mental health outcomes (Scott, 2020).
Sense of Community and Social Support:
During Ramadan, communities come together for prayer, iftar (breaking fast) gatherings, and charitable activities. The sense of belonging and shared purpose during this month creates a supportive social environment. Social connectedness has been linked to positive mental health outcomes, including reduced risk of depression, and increased overall well-being (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2023).
Enhanced Self-Discipline and Control:
The act of fasting instills a sense of discipline and self-control. Increased self-discipline positively correlates with mental well-being, promoting a sense of achievement and empowerment. Self-control can also positively impact mental health by promoting self-esteem and increasing confidence in one's ability to manage impulses and urges (Choudhury, 2023).
Gratitude:
Ramadan encourages gratitude for the blessings in life, fostering a positive mindset. By abstaining from food and drink, observers of Ramadan gain a greater appreciation for day-to-day aspects of life, such as access to food and water, shelter, and health. The practice of expressing gratitude has been linked to improved mental health outcomes. Gratitude leads to enhanced life satisfaction and decreased depression and is a protective factor against stress (Choudhury, 2023).
Ramadan can have a profound impact on mental health. From cultivating mindfulness to enhancing self-discipline, this sacred month offers a holistic approach to well-being. As individuals engage in worship, reflection, and charity during Ramadan, they simultaneously nourish their mental health, enhancing their spiritual and psychological well-being.
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ADHD or/and Trauma?
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder involving symptoms such as difficulty focusing, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. It impacts children and adults alike. As of 2024, over 5 million U.S. children (approximately 8.7% of children in the U.S. ages 3-17) are currently diagnosed with ADHD. In adults worldwide, approximately 366.3 million (6.8%) have symptomatic ADHD and have been diagnosed with ADHD, regardless of age of onset. The research is ongoing, but possible causes of ADHD include genetics, injuries to the brain, use of substances (e.g. alcohol) during pregnancy, and low birth weight.
Adult ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) has been receiving a lot of attention on social media and amongst queer and neuro-atypical communities. In general, ADHD has long been a somewhat controversial and often stigmatized topic involving race, gender, and income disparities, although diagnoses can also bring validation and understanding to a person’s schema, both self- and world-. It can also foster a sense of community for neurodivergent folk. The topic of ADHD-diagnosis is commonly paired with discourse on medication and can feel like an opportunity to stop living life on “hard-mode”. However, a topic often overlooked and left out of ADHD conversations amidst misdiagnoses and comorbidities is the intricate overlap of ADHD symptoms with trauma-related symptoms pertaining to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or complex trauma. It is important to accurately diagnose these symptoms in order for those to receive the best care and avoid further harm and health complications.
ADHD and Trauma
Studies have indicated childhood trauma or ACEs, adverse childhood experiences (e.g. abuse, violence, neglect, poverty, witnessing violence, etc.), as a significant marker for developing ADHD later in life. Evidence has also shown that children with ADHD who have a disturbing experience are four times as likely to develop PTSD than kids without ADHD. Additionally, it is likely that those with ADHD experience more severe trauma symptoms than kids without ADHD. Causes of ADHD are still not fully known, but it is clear that early life stress can impact the shape of a child’s brain. Further, stress can disrupt brain development as well as how the brain regulates thoughts, actions, and feelings. Brain imaging has revealed ADHD and PTSD to be associated with similar irregularities in brain functioning, which could explain the increased risk. Regarding diagnoses, those being evaluated for ADHD should also be screened for PTSD and vice versa.
“Venn Diagram” of ADHD and Trauma-related Symptoms
Both ADHD and Trauma may include the following symptoms:
Being distracted, inattentive, or spaceyChildren who have experienced trauma may be mentally elsewhere, re-experiencing, remembering, or attempting to process traumatic events, which can appear as an inattentive type of ADHD.
Hyperactivity or hyperarousal, being fidgety or restlessChildren who have experienced trauma or have been exposed to repeated trauma are hypersensitive to signs of danger or threat. Stress hormones course throughout their body, making it difficult to sit still, be calm, or pay attention, similar to symptoms of ADHD.
Impulsivity and oppositional behaviorKids who have experienced trauma tend to have a more negative worldview and perceive people as a threat/hostile/someone who assumes negative intentions towards them. Their fight or flight system is activated and firing even in the absence of danger. This may cause kids to act out in similar ways that may be seen in kids with ADHD.
Difficulty completing tasks, being organized, planning, managing emotionsExecutive functioning is commonly challenging for those who have experienced trauma. The brain region responsible for executive functioning tasks is most affected by ACEs and is also associated with ADHD symptoms.
Trauma symptoms (not typically associated with ADHD)
Physiological symptoms: headaches, racing heartbeat, digestive issues, etc.
Emotional responses: fear, sadness, anger, denial, shame, confusion, etc.
Intrusive, disturbing thoughts
Nightmares and flashbacks in response to the traumatic event
Avoidance of things which may be a reminder of the traumatic experience: avoiding going home or getting in a car, lingering in school hallways
ADHD symptoms (not typically associated with trauma)
Interrupting others in conversation
Excessive talkativeness
The Cycle
The nature of ADHD and trauma symptoms is often cyclical:
Children experience symptoms of ADHD such as hyperactivity or impulsivity. This leads to getting into trouble more so than children without ADHD symptoms. Stressful events ensue, i.e. being reprimanded, violence, punishment, accidents which involve physical harm. These stressful events may register as trauma. Trauma symptoms emerge and exacerbate ADHD symptoms. Cycle repeats.
Alternative cycle:
Children experience a traumatic event which leads to an inability to regulate or make sense of their emotions. Trauma symptoms manifest as or exacerbate common ADHD symptoms, i.e. lack of focus, disruptiveness, impulsivity. See cycle above.
Intersectionality
These cycles can be especially dangerous for some children and have lasting effects into adulthood. Kids who are most at risk of ADHD diagnoses and various types of trauma are those in communities where there is a high level of violence. Additionally, poverty is associated with high levels of trauma, fewer education resources, and overburdened teachers. It has been known that students of color are more likely to be treated as behavior problems than white students, which has historically led to misdiagnoses. Further, BIPOC students are more likely to be referred and suspended for disciplinary reasons than their white peers, and there is a higher likelihood of them experiencing traumatic events, e.g., racial trauma, poverty, community violence, police violence.
Thorough and accurate evaluation and diagnoses of ADHD and PTSD or complex trauma is extremely important. Consequences of misdiagnosis or undiagnosis/unrecognition can be experienced throughout life in various aspects of life, such as: in relationships with others, how one sees the world, how one views themself or their future, difficulty managing thoughts and feelings, exacerbation of existing symptoms, etc. It is imperative that those with ADHD and/or trauma-related symptoms receive appropriate care. Some ADHD medications may increase the level of hypervigilant anxiety often felt by those who have experienced trauma. As a general rule of thumb, people should always consider the full picture of a person’s background and experiences and recognize possible comorbidities when it comes to diagnoses and medication. Speaking with a therapist may be particularly helpful in processing and elucidating pertinent information related to ADHD and trauma.
Check out some of the resources of ADHD or/and Trauma here.
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Why Making and Keeping Friends Becomes More Difficult as we Age
My mother once told me that we have different friendships throughout the different seasons of our lives. As I grow older, I have found this message increasingly true. From childhood to adolescence to adulthood, our social circles evolve alongside us. But at a certain point, making friends becomes more difficult. You may or may not be surprised to learn that, according to research, after the age of 25, most adult friendships start to dwindle (Gordon, 2023). Why do cultivating friendships and making new friends as an adult feel more challenging?
The Ease of Making Friends at School
Within the confines of school, making friends often feels effortless. From elementary school to middle school to high school, children spend approximately six hours a day in the classroom learning together. This shared experience affords students time and space to connect and form friendships. Extracurricular activities, clubs, and sports also allow children to bond through mutual interests.
Making friends feels much easier when we’re afforded the time and space to do so, and college offers this unique experience as well. Living together in dorms, sharing classes, and participating in late-night study sessions create a fertile ground for lasting connections. But once school ends and we step into the professional world, often tasked with new independence and responsibilities, forming connections no longer comes as easy.
Entering Adulthood
Our lives change once we enter adulthood. Life gets busier when we take on new responsibilities, such as entering the workforce, committing to a relationship, moving, or having children. These life changes can hinder us from meeting new people and maintaining friendships. These barriers are often exacerbated by larger systemic issues.
How Capitalism Interferes in Our Relationships
Capitalism is primarily focused on the pursuit of profit and individual success. While capitalism itself doesn't inherently prevent people from maintaining friendships, certain aspects of the system can contribute to challenges in forming and sustaining social connections. In a capitalist society, the emphasis on productivity and economic success often leads to long working hours and busy schedules. Many adults are pressured to work multiple jobs or face increased job demands, leaving them with limited time for socializing and maintaining friendships.
Additionally, the pursuit of success in a capitalist society can result in a poor work-life balance. People may find themselves dedicating more time to their careers at the expense of personal relationships, including friendships. The result of a society that places emphasis on productivity and achievement is a large group of people who feel burnt out, overworked, and too tired to do anything once their workday ends.
The Absence of a “Third Place”
With increasing work demands and home responsibilities, most people have lost their “third place” by adulthood. The term “third place” originates from a 1989 book, The Great Good Place, by sociologist Ray Oldenberg. He characterized the first place as home, the second place as work, and the third place as virtually any other location. He considered third place locations as ones that facilitate social interaction outside of the people you live or work with and encourage "public relaxation." Third places tend to foster light and pleasant conversation and are free from expectations of productivity (Liddy, 2023).
Third places are essential in helping us build individual and collective identities outside the home and the workplace. Fantasy football leagues, book clubs, and intramural sports can all function as third places (Liddy, 2023). These spaces facilitate friendship based on common interests.
Why Friendships Matter
Friendship is important not just for our mental health but also our physical health. According to research, friendships can have benefits such as better immune functioning, decreased risk of disease, illness, and injury, increased longevity, reduced stress, and speedier recovery when sick (Gordon, 2023). The significance of friendship for overall well-being should not be dismissed.
How to Make Friends
Although there are systemic barriers to making friends in adulthood, meeting new people is not impossible. One way to make friends is to create a third place, close to home or the workplace. Consider your interests, hobbies, and lifestyle. What clubs or classes could you participate in that would bring you joy and facilitate connection?
When it comes to making friends as an adult, it's important to be positive and proactive. Be open to new experiences, saying yes, and trying new things (Gordon, 2023). Although it can be scary initially, pushing yourself to talk to new people is a great way to form new connections.
Nurture Existing Friendships
Making new friends is fun, but it is equally important to nurture our existing relationships. Although our lives can be demanding, catching up with old friends reinforces those bonds and contributes to a well-rounded social life. Remember to focus on quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. Cultivate relationships with individuals who uplift and inspire you. Meaningful connections require time and effort, so invest in those who reciprocate your energy.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Myth-Busting Couples Therapy
As a therapist, I’m reminded on almost a daily basis that relationships are complicated and often challenging to navigate. When people from different walks of life come together to form a partnership, conflict is inevitable. Sometimes, couples therapy can provide the guidance and support needed to strengthen our bonds. Unfortunately, couples therapy is often surrounded by myths that discourage people from seeking help. Let's debunk some of these common misconceptions and destigmatize couples therapy.
Myth #1: Only Troubled Relationships Need Therapy
Many people mistakenly believe that couples only attend therapy as a last-ditch effort to save their relationship. However, in one study, only 14 percent of couples started therapy to figure out whether they could save the relationship or whether they should part ways (Parker, 2019). Couples may attend therapy for a myriad of reasons. In fact, the same study found that 46 percent of couples wanted to handle conflict better, 30 percent wanted to restore their bond, and 25 percent felt they were doing well and just wanted to enhance some part of their union (Parker, 2019).
Couples therapy can be a proactive and positive step for any couple, regardless of the severity of their issues. It can help enhance communication skills, deepen emotional intimacy, and provide tools for navigating challenges together. Therapy is a resource for growth, not just a last resort.
Myth #2: Couples Therapy Is Only for Married Couples
Couples therapy is not exclusive to married couples. It can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship, including those who are dating, engaged, or in long-term partnerships. The goal is to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and create a healthier connection, regardless of legal marital status.
Myth #3: Therapists Take Sides
A skilled couples therapist is neutral and impartial. Their role is not to take sides but to facilitate open communication and guide both partners toward understanding each other's perspectives. The goal is to promote mutual understanding and resolution rather than assigning blame.
It is also important for couples to have a warm and supportive therapeutic relationship with their therapist, not only for their personal well-being but also for improving their relationship. Studies indicate that when couples establish a deeper rapport with their therapist, it correlates with enhancements in their romantic bond (Parker, 2019). Developing this type of therapeutic relationship can only happen when a therapist is neutral and supportive of all parties involved.
Myth #4: Couples Therapy Is Only for Big Problems
Couples therapy is not limited to resolving significant crises. It can address many concerns, from communication issues and lack of intimacy to daily stressors and future planning. Therapy can also act as a preventative tool for addressing minor concerns before they escalate into more significant challenges down the road.
Myth #5: Therapy Is a Sign of Failure
Starting couples therapy does not mean that you have failed as a couple. Due to social stigma, it’s common for couples to experience a sense of inadequacy or shame (Parker, 2019). However, another way to see it is as a brave and proactive step toward building a healthier relationship. Couples therapy demonstrates a commitment to personal and relational growth. Just as people seek professional help for personal development, couples can benefit from therapy to strengthen their connection and navigate challenges more effectively. Instead of viewing couples therapy as a failure, consider it an important step to creating a successful relationship.
Couples therapy is a valuable resource that can benefit relationships at any stage. While it may not be for everyone, it is crucial to destigmatize couples therapy for those who might benefit from it. Taking the step toward therapy is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the strength and commitment to building a fulfilling and resilient partnership.
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“I’m an empath”..?
Within this writer’s past week, the topic of empathy has been brought up multiple times in various contexts. In one situation, people who declare themself an empath were in question. “People who say they’re an empath are actually the least empathetic people - they take on other people’s emotions and make it all about themselves and how much they are suffering,” says one amongst a general air of agreement. On a different day, someone expresses that they are trying to become a more empathetic person, feeling as though they lack empathy and inquiring about how to gain empathy. Further recent discussions have involved empathy leading to burnout that can feel like paralysis and having to look away from atrocities of the world, while others uphold empathy as paramount to collective liberation and encourage the perseverance and embracing of whatever feelings come up in seeing these atrocities. Empathy can be a skill and, like many skills, it can be used as a weapon. So is it good or bad to be an empath? What space should one hold or make for empathy? Should energy be put into fostering, managing, or dampening empathy?
What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand a person from their frame of reference rather than one’s own. Researchers distinguish between affective (emotional) empathy and cognitive empathy. Emotional empathy involves sensations and feelings in response to others’ emotions and consists of three separate components:
feeling the same emotion as another person,
feeling distress in response to perceiving another person’s plight,
feeling compassion for another person.
Cognitive empathy involves the ability to identify and understand another person’s emotions and accurately perceive what is going on in their mind. Studies suggest that autistic folk have a difficult time empathisizing in this way. Another category of empathy has also been defined as somatic empathy, which involves a physical reaction to what someone else is experiencing (i.e. experiencing nausea or sweaty palms upon seeing someone who is nervous).
Neural mechanisms and theories of empathy
Mirroring the mind
Recent research has identified specific areas of the brain and neural pathways involved in empathy. Not only is the visual cortex activated in witnessing another’s experience, but one’s actions, sensations, and emotions are activated as though they are executing their actions and experiencing their feelings firsthand. Parts of the brain in the medial prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-level thinking, also show overlap in activation in other-focused and self-focused thoughts and judgments. Mirror neurons may explain this overlap in the neural networks activated in vicarious and first-hand experiences of action, pain, or affect.
Theory of Mind
Alternatively, Theory of Mind posits that humans can use cognitive thought processes to predict or explain others’ actions. In this theory, one develops rules on human behavior and understands what another person is thinking or feeling based on these rules. A study involving psychopathic individuals showed reduced vicarious activation in comparison to neurotypical peers when passively witnessing pain but a rise in activation to baseline levels when asked to attempt to empathize with the person in the video. This provides evidence that individuals’ abilities to empathize may be about the same, but one’s propensity to empathize may differ. Most likely, many processes are involved in empathy which may be activated amidst various circumstances, including automatic, emotional responses and learned conceptual reasoning.
Pain systems
Studies on animals have shown regions of the brain associated specifically with socially triggered fear, separate from fear of their own pain. It has been found that rats are more likely to freeze after witnessing another rat receive an electric shock if they themselves had experienced an electric shock in the past. Empathy has also been shown to be positively correlated with pain, with more or less self-experienced pain corresponding to one’s empathy for another’s pain. The linkage between pain and empathy shows how one represents another person’s pain within their own pain systems.
Evolutionary adaptations
Human brains are hard-wired to respond to other’s suffering and human survival depends on mutual aid, which acts of mutual aid have been noted in the earliest reports of tribal behavior. Empathy can promote connection between people and can be seen throughout the animal kingdom in raising the young and responding to babies’ needs. As an evolutionary development, affective empathy most easily and commonly occurs among members of the same “tribe”. Empathy is greatest between those who look or act alike, those who have suffered similarly, or those who share a common goal. Affective empathy thus creates biases and automatic fear responses which have proven to be harmful and problematic. With the absence of affective empathy, cognitive empathy is important in combatting biases pertaining to, for example, racial, ethnic, or religious differences. Having empathy does not always lead to helping others, but it is salient in practicing compassionate care and action.
Cultivating empathy
It was previously thought that empathy is a trait one is born with and cannot be taught. Although studies have revealed a genetic base to empathy, research has also shown that empathy can be trained.
Empathy as good or evil?
Empathy is a powerful predictor and motivator in prosocial behavior such as forgiveness, volunteering, and helping others, and it is further negatively associated with opposite behaviors like aggression and bullying. Empathy can benefit society, individuals, and relationships and allow people to pause before judging or acting in favor of harmful biases.
Empathy can also be draining and at times lead to burnout or physiological health consequences. Empathy can be blinding, misleading, and used to intentionally cloud one’s judgement (often used in political campaigns). Biases in empathy can promote antagonism and aggression as well as numbness to mass suffering.
To be the “right” kind of empath…
When cultivating empathy, it is important to cultivate the right kind of empathy. Below is a list of ways to help one get started on this journey:
Be willing to grow - being open to empathizing more can lead to increased empathy through intention alone.
Expose yourself to differences - immerse yourself amongst unfamiliar perspectives in order to expand your own.
Read fiction - practice empathy in safe spaces through stories and fictional characters.
Identify common ground - focus on similarities and expand your concept of who is included in your ingroup(s).
Understand your blocks and ask questions - question your assumptions and work towards learning what you do not know and unlearning what you thought you knew.
Work with a therapist - empathy involves an understanding of and relating to emotions and experiences, which stems from a connection with one’s own feelings. Many factors can inhibit this self-connection and ability or willingness to relate to others in this way. A therapist can help provide a nonjudgmental space to explore these factors and feelings and help foster empathy in a way that makes sense to you.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Reclaiming Anger from White Supremacy
Anger is an elemental human emotion tied to basic survival much like happiness, sadness, and fear and can be defined as “an emotional response to an external or internal event perceived as a threat, violation, or injustice” (Berkeley UHS). This emotion often comes up when something feels wrong or someone feels like they have been wronged by someone or something. It can be characterized by a wide range of feelings including frustration, irritation, and betrayal - anger can be further dissected into underlying feelings as seen through the feelings wheel.
Evolutionary purpose
It has been widely theorized that anger has evolutionary origins and is an adaptive response. Anger has served as a form of protection, to defend against threats, compete for resources, and enforce social norms. It is associated with the fight or flight response of the sympathetic nervous system. In this primitive response, the adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones (i.e. adrenaline, testosterone), preparing humans to fight. Meanwhile in another region of the brain, the prefrontal cortex (PFC) is responsible for decision-making and reasoning, inputting context and keeping one’s primal instincts in check such that one does not respond to anger every time with confrontation or combat.
Anger, race, and white supremacy
Anger is often depicted as a negative emotion and has historically been denounced as worthless and a source of evil. For BIPOC, anger has been criminalized. Black bodies have been systemically targeted and disproportionately subjected to police brutality and violence within the carceral system and by the general population at large, as highlighted by the Black Lives Matter movement. Society has been taught to fear dark skin, imperialist and colonialist powers continuing to fund and enforce these narratives which weaponize black and brown peoples’ anger. Meanwhile, Asian communities have been pitted against other people of color, used as the image of how minority individuals should behave, an act of white supremacy manifested through harmful stereotypes and the model minority myth. In this gendered and racial discrimination, the Asian diaspora has been reduced to stereotypes, invisibilized and silenced, women seen as docile and submissive, men seen as immasculine, and all deemed hard-working and compliant (never angry) with little representation or room for movement outside of these boxes. These white supremacist narratives intentionally create resentment amongst Black and Asian folk, both inwardly and outwardly, fueling anger and punishing them for their anger simultaneously.
These racist representations have additive consequences and further show the collective struggle against white supremacy. Limiting peoples’ range of emotional expression is an act of dehumanization and racism, and it often leads to violence against BIPOC communities and attempt to further silence these communities who protest in anger and solidarity. White supremacy is the name behind BIPOC being turned against each other and put in danger, being seen as physical threats, animals, and inconsequential objects.
Consequences of continual or unmanaged anger
Prolonged anger can lead to adverse physical and mental health outcomes. Physiological and biological changes occur to people’s bodies when they are angry. Heart rate and blood pressure become elevated and hormones such as adrenaline and noradrenaline are released. Tensing of muscles also occurs within the body. Frequently putting one’s body through these changes, i.e. by experiencing anger often, can lead to long-term medical conditions and complications such as: high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, insomnia, substance abuse, gastric ulcers, bowel disease, and diabetes (Ohwovoriole, 2023).
Displaced anger
Depending on an individual’s tolerance for expressing and holding space for certain emotions, anger can mask less tolerable emotions or be masked over by more tolerable emotions. Anger may displace uncomfortable emotions such as fear, sadness, helplessness, or despair. It is well-supported in literature that, especially in men, depression may be concealed and masked as anger (Berkeley UHS). Anger may also be a result of other psychological or physiological conditions such as unresolved trauma, substance abuse, or injury to the brain. Alternatively, when anger feels less tolerable, a person’s anger may manifest as chronic fatigue, sadness, helplessness, rationalization, blame, or cynicism. The displacement of emotions involving anger often occurs subconsciously and can go unnoticed without intentionally tuning in to one’s emotions.
Beneficial Purposes of Anger
Protection: Anger allows us to recognize threats and protect ourselves against aggression.
A source of energy: Anger gives us strength and activates our bodies to fight. This energy can serve to propel movements, create change, further goals, and spark creative solutions.
Motivation: Anger can serve as an indicator of injustice. It often arises when we are denied rights, disrespected, and exploited. Anger motivates us to find solutions to problems and focus on putting an end to injustices.
A source of empowerment: Anger, as opposed to desensitization, helplessness, or despair, allows us to continue focusing on our ability to change the situation. It empowers us to work towards a desirable future and take action.
Increases cooperation/solidarity: A common theme which stirs people to feel angry often brings people together in solidarity to fight for the common good. Collective anger indicates to others that it is important to listen to us and also signals that something is not right and we need to come together to find a better way.
Final Thoughts
Anger, although primitive in nature, has turned into a complex emotion intertwined with racial, social, and cultural implications. It has many beneficial usages, and it can be quite harmful. It can be motivating and freeing and also stifling and destructive. It is important to tune into how one’s relationship with anger may be manifesting in and influencing various aspects of life, including but not limited to interpersonal relationships, career, mental and physical health, and connection to self.
In understanding one’s own anger, it becomes possible to harness anger in community and in solidarity and has the potential to empower and sustain movements towards collective liberation.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions
As the last week in January quickly approaches, I find myself wondering what happened to my New Year's resolutions. Four weeks into the new year, I have already abandoned the lofty goals I set for myself. If you're anything like me, you've also made ambitious promises to yourself fueled by a burst of motivation and the allure of a fresh start. Every year, we pledge to hit the gym regularly, eat healthier, learn a new skill, or finally conquer that ever-growing reading list. But as the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, it's not uncommon for those resolutions to fade into the background. So, why do we continue to set New Year's resolutions, and why do they end up as fleeting aspirations rather than concrete changes?
Why Do We Make New Year’s Resolutions?
For many of us, the start of a new year symbolizes a clean slate and an opportunity to leave behind the shortcomings of the past. This symbolic fresh start is a powerful motivator, fueling the desire for positive change. New Year's resolutions provide a structured framework for people to channel this desire.
Societal norms and cultural traditions also influence our desire to create resolutions. The shared experience of setting goals for the coming year offers a sense of camaraderie and collective motivation. However, the drive to make resolutions for the year doesn't always stem from friendly competition among friends and family; companies also know that New Year's resolutions create potential revenue. Ever wonder why gyms are at full capacity the first week of January? Health and fitness companies use this time to advertise their latest products, services, diets, and workout plans. According to a Forbes Health/OnePoll survey conducted in October of 2023, 61.7% of respondents felt pressured to set a New Year’s resolution (Vinney, 2024). And so, while some people set New Year’s resolutions, others are sucked into them.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail
Despite good intentions, our resolutions often fail. In fact, studies show that over 90% of New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned within just a few months (Vinney, 2024). Here are four reasons resolutions often fail:
Unrealistic Expectations: One of the primary reasons we often cannot stick to resolutions is that we set unrealistic expectations. The enthusiasm of the new year can lead people to aim too high, setting unattainable goals within an unrealistic timeframe. This sets the stage for disappointment and diminished motivation. Instead, meet yourself where you're at and set smaller, more attainable goals.
Lack of Concrete Planning: Setting a resolution without a concrete plan prevents us from following through on our goals. Many overlook the importance of breaking down larger goals into manageable steps, making it challenging to stay on track. A lack of strategic planning can contribute to feelings of overwhelm and frustration. Instead, be specific about the goals you want to achieve, plan how to achieve them, and implement a timeline to execute steps toward those goals (Chan, 2024).
Failure to Address Underlying Issues: Often, resolutions focus on external changes without addressing the underlying issues hindering personal growth. Ignoring the root causes can lead to repeated cycles of setting the same resolutions year after year, with little success. It is important to reflect on why setting a particular goal is important to you and what has prevented you from changing in the past.
Lack of Social Support: The journey towards achieving resolutions can be challenging, and having a support system is crucial. Without a network of friends, family, or mentors to provide encouragement and guidance, people may struggle to stay motivated when faced with obstacles. Humans are social creatures, and the best way to stay consistent with goal setting is to find a buddy that will empower you and keep you motivated.
Ultimately, you don’t have to set New Year's resolutions if you don’t want to. In the grand scheme of things, New Years is an arbitrary date, and you can decide to make changes at any time of year! After reading this article, you may have decided to let go of the expectations and pressure of the new year. However, if you want to create sustainable change, consider setting realistic goals, creating detailed plans, addressing underlying issues, and building a supportive network. Remember that change is not easy or quick, and achieving your resolutions may take time—stay patient and meet yourself where you’re at.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Somatic Therapy
The phrase “the body keeps the score” has become well-known since Dr. van der Kolk’s bestselling book on trauma and healing. Meaning traumatic (i.e. psychologically overwhelming) experiences are held not just in the mind but also reside in the body, somatic therapy is based on this belief. Somatic therapy combines psychotherapy and physical therapy with mindfulness to address the mind-body connection and promote holistic healing.
What is Somatic Therapy?
Somatic therapy is a form of body-centered therapy, the definition of somatic meaning “of or related to the body”. It equally focuses on the body and the mind, while psychotherapy (talk therapy) traditionally focuses distinctly on mind processes. Somatic therapy may be a good option for those who find themselves at a road block in psychotherapy - the body being a largely untapped resource for key insights related to mental health struggles.
One’s body is essential to having experiences and emotions. Somatic therapy operates on the theory that unprocessed and unresolved experiences and emotions can become “trapped” in the body and have negative impacts on one’s physical and emotional wellbeing. The goal of somatic therapy is to access these trapped experiences and emotions and help free the client from these obstacles which are preventing them from living their lives fully.
Somatic therapy emphasizes self-regulation, helping clients develop resources within themselves to navigate out of fight/flight/freeze responses and feel in control of their thoughts and behaviors. While psychotherapy may be ineffective and painful in addressing certain memories and experiences and potentially bring up stimuli which activates a trauma response by automatically seizing one’s limbic system, somatic therapy intentionally engages the limbic system as well as the autonomic nervous system thus promoting self-regulation.
Through a combination of mindfulness, talk therapy, and physical therapy, a somatic therapist may assist a client in tuning into physical sensations associated with difficult emotions or in focusing on one’s body while retrieving and accessing a memory of a traumatic experience. By increasing one’s awareness of the mind-body connection, one can tap into trapped feelings of anger, frustration, tension, etc. held within the body, and release them, gaining more control over one’s life and wellbeing.
Somatic Therapy Techniques and Practices
1. Breathwork - involves intentional breathing practices as a tool for self-regulation. By physically breathing and mentally focusing on one’s breath, the mind-body connection is strengthened. By becoming more aware of one’s body, familiarity and insight is cultivated within one’s nervous system and emotions.
2. Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) - uses bilateral (left-right) physical stimulation to diminish the intensity and emotion of a traumatic memory. In an EMDR session, rhythmic bilateral stimulation (i.e. eye movements, audio tones, physical taps) is present as a client recalls a traumatic memory. The client may be prompted to check in with their body to identify physiological sensations they are experiencing along with the emotions that may be trapped within those sensations. The intention of EMDR is to change how the traumatic memory is stored in the brain.
3. Brainspotting - identifies points in a client’s field of vision (i.e. brainspots) that are associated with trauma stored deep in their brain. These points are where one’s eyes naturally focus on when physical discomfort associated with trauma is strongest. Brainspots may be identified by the client (“the inside window”), by the therapist watching the client’s eyes (“the outside window”), or by recognizing a spot previously fixated on (“gazespotting”). Once identified, the client focuses on that location while reliving/recalling a traumatic memory to a therapist. Now that the client is in a safe environment, the goal of brainspotting is to allow the client to fully process the traumatic event, identifying sensations and emotions. The intention of brainspotting is to desensitize one’s associations with trauma by lessening one’s traumatic association to that brainspot.
4. Hakomi Therapy - relies on deep and sustained mindfulness from both client and clinician. The client focuses on tuning into and understanding their emotions while the therapist attenuates towards the client’s physicality and physiological responses (e.g. body posture, gestures) which are believed to uncover unconscious memories and associations.
Who/what is somatic therapy for?
Somatic therapy can be helpful for those experiencing the following:
Trauma/PTSD
Stress
Anxiety
Depression
Grief
Addiction
Eating disorders
Mood disorders
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Chronic pain
Digestive disorders
Sexual dysfunction
Ultimately anyone can benefit from tuning into what one’s body may be communicating to them and how it may be associated with one’s mental health and wellbeing. Somatic therapy requires an awareness of physiological sensations, recognizing physiological cues and symptoms. It is important to not only be in touch with sensations involved with dysregulated feelings but also those involved with feelings of safety and calmness, facilitating access to a safe base to center oneself whenever needed.
There is currently no accreditation for somatic therapy. Somatic therapy can be integrated into various psychotherapy and counseling practices as well as individual and group settings. If you are new to somatic therapy and interested in engaging with somatic therapy practices, talk to your current therapist about incorporating somatic exercises into your sessions. If you are in search of a therapist, think about what you would like to focus on in relation to your mental health, and look for a therapist that specializes in both somatic therapy and the area of mental health you would like to address. Your feelings of safety and comfort are of utmost importance in these practices. Although somatic therapy has not yet become a mainstream therapeutic modality, it has existed for centuries in forms such as yoga and mediation, and benefits have been widely documented within literature.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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Going No Contact with a Parent: What to Expect and How Culture Plays a Role
It seems like more and more these days, we hear about adult children going “no contact” with one or both of their parents. This decision is often deeply challenging and emotionally charged. A common misconception is that going no contact with a “toxic” parent stems from a place of anger or impulsivity. Instead, making this decision is often an act of self-preservation after several attempts to make the relationship work (Goldman, 2021). Whether it is due to abuse, unresolved conflicts, or the need for personal growth, going no contact can be both liberating and complicated.
Why People Choose to Go No Contact
Going no contact involves cutting off communication and interaction with a parent. This decision is not taken lightly, as it can have significant emotional implications. It is a boundary-setting measure that individuals may choose when faced with ongoing toxicity, abuse, or a history of unresolved issues that hinder their well-being.
People decide to go no contact for a variety of reasons. It may be a means of protecting one's mental health, establishing boundaries, or breaking free from a cycle of abuse. Some find that their parent cannot provide the relationship they need. Others feel that interactions with their parent undermines their self-esteem, self-respect, choices, decisions, and relationships with others (Goldman, 2021). Ultimately, the decision to go no contact is deeply personal and reflects an individual's need for self-preservation and personal growth.
What to Expect
Like anything else, there are benefits and consequences to going no contact with a parent. What you can expect largely depends on the relationship dynamic between you, the parent in question, and other family members (Goldman, 2021). Nonetheless, emotions are bound to run high when contemplating or implementing this decision. Guilt, sadness, anger, and relief are common feelings that individuals may experience.
The decision to go no contact may also impact your relationship with other family members. Not everyone may support or understand your decision. As a result, it is important to consider how the decision to go no contact may lead to fallout in your other relationships.
Cultural Considerations
While going no contact may be an empowering choice for some, it is essential to recognize that cultural factors can significantly impact its feasibility. In certain cultures, severing ties with a parent contradicts deeply ingrained values such as filial piety, respect for elders, and family unity. In cultures where family bonds are considered sacred and essential, the idea of going no contact might be met with resistance and judgment.
Family reputation and societal expectations can create significant barriers, making it more challenging for individuals to break away from toxic relationships. Navigating cultural stigma and cultural expectations can make the decision to go no contact even more complex. If these cultural values are important to you, going no contact may not be the best solution.
Alternative Solutions
Dealing with a toxic parent and making the decision to go no contact requires a delicate balance between honoring cultural values and prioritizing personal well-being. If you think you need a change to protect your mental health but don’t want to cut off your parents completely, there are alternative solutions. Some people choose to cut off contact for a period and then revisit the decision later. This solution affords them time to focus on their mental health and learn skills for navigating complex relationships before allowing their parent back into their lives (Goldman, 2021).
Rather than going completely silent, some people may also choose to have limited contact with a parent. Limited contact could mean seeing a parent on certain occasions or limiting interaction to phone calls. Setting boundaries or creating distance without completely cutting ties may be more culturally acceptable for some.
Seeking Support and Understanding
Regardless of cultural considerations, individuals contemplating going no contact should seek support and understanding. Friends, therapists, and support groups can offer a safe space to discuss emotions, fears, and potential strategies. Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can be particularly beneficial.
Deciding to go no contact with a parent is a complex and deeply personal choice. While it can be relieving for some, the feasibility of this decision can be influenced by cultural factors. Balancing cultural expectations with the need for personal well-being is a delicate process, and seeking support is crucial in navigating the emotional challenges that come with such a decision. Ultimately, the journey toward healing and self-discovery is unique for everyone, and finding a path that aligns with both personal and cultural values is key.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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A Deeper Look at Resilience
Resilience is defined as the ability to cope with and recover from difficulties. Many factors contribute to resilience, and an individual's perception of the world, availability and quality of social resources, and specific coping skills may enhance their resiliency (APA, 2022). Anyone can develop resilience, but for Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color (BIPOC), resilience often takes on unique dimensions shaped by cultural backgrounds, historical contexts, and systemic challenges. While BIPOC communities are unique in their own experiences, they collectively share adversity in the exposure to discrimination (Martinez et al., 2021). Therefore, a deeper understanding of BIPOC experiences is needed for the full context of the meaning of resilience.
In an article about redefining resilience among BIPOC communities, Gustavo Molinar (2020) asks us to consider how some people have no choice but to be resilient. This resilience is an act of resistance and survival (Molinar, 2020), which becomes a coping mechanism against discrimination or any other discrimination-related stress (Martinez et al., 2021). Understanding the deeper meaning of resilience among BIPOC communities is essential when implementing resilience strategies for mental health.
Implementing Resilience
Among BIPOC communities, generations of trauma, systemic racism, and cultural barriers have shaped the concept of resilience. We must acknowledge and center the narratives and history of BIPOC community members when discussing resilience strategies. This means learning the histories of BIPOC communities, reading books by BIPOC authors, and focusing on the strengths and values of various BIPOC groups. Learning about the history of BIPOC communities or extended support groups can help overcome failures, challenges, and trauma (Molinar, 2020). The following practices may help in supporting resilience among BIPOC individuals.
Community Support:
Community support is a cornerstone of resilience, and BIPOC communities often exemplify this principle. A collective sense of responsibility, also known as the "it takes a village" approach, is nurtured over generations for many BIPOC communities (Abdullah, 2023). Whether through extended families, cultural organizations, or grassroots movements, the sense of community can provide a vital support network. Building and nurturing these connections fosters a resilient spirit that thrives on collective strength.
Self-Care and Healing Practices:
Cultivating resilience requires intentional self-care and healing practices. BIPOC individuals may find strength in traditional healing methods, mindfulness rooted in cultural traditions, and embracing holistic approaches to well-being. Self-care and healing practices may also include counseling. BIPOC may find it particularly important to seek support from therapists who align with and affirm their intersecting identities (Molinar, 2020).
Self-care may also include connection with nature, artistic expression, and storytelling. In many Indigenous cultures and other BIPOC communities, individuals share a profound spiritual connection with nature. This connection offers a sense of comfort, and leaning into it can help build resilience (Abdullah, 2023).
Artistic expression is another strong mechanism of resilience in BIPOC communities. Art, music, dance, and other cultural traditions often serve as therapeutic outlets to express emotions, tell stories, and seek comfort. Storytelling also fosters resilience by passing lessons, values, histories, and experiences from generation to generation. Storytelling can be therapeutic and foster connection among the people telling stories (Abdullah, 2023). Engaging in self-care and authentic healing practices such as these are profound methods of building resilience.
Addressing Systemic Barriers:
Resilience isn't just about bouncing back from adversity; it's also about dismantling the barriers that create adversity in the first place. BIPOC individuals often navigate systemic challenges that affect mental health. Resilience involves advocacy, allyship, and creating spaces that promote equity and justice.
Final Thoughts on Resilience
BIPOC communities must be centered in conversations about resilience. By understanding the historical roots of resiliency among various BIPOC communities, we can better understand how to implement resilience strategies. Resilience is not just a response to adversity; it's a transformative journey that empowers individuals to thrive despite their challenges. As we embrace diversity in the conversation about resilience, we move towards a more inclusive understanding of what it means to navigate life's complexities with strength.
Check out some of the resources of Resiliencehere.
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Roots of Racial Fetishization: Colonialism, Imperialism, Racism
What is (racial) fetishization?
Fetishization is the act or thought of making someone an object of desire based on some aspect of their identity. Racial fetishization is thus the act or thought of making a certain race or ethnicity the object of desire. People typically associate desire with sexual desire and fail to recognize that fetishization can expand past desiring someone sexually, such as desiring a person to do something or act in a certain way. This is especially important to grasp as these desires contribute to biases, and combined with the objectifying of humans involved in fetishization, often leads to race- and gender- based violence. Fetishization has been dismissed as inconsequential and affirmative at times, but the following article will describe how fetishization indeed perpetuates and is rooted in racism originating from settler colonialism and its serious negative impact on the health and wellbeing of those who are fetishized.
On racism, misogyny, and colonialism
The roots of fetishization can be traced back to colonizers treating BIPOC as “curiosities”. For example, Black bodies were eroticized by European colonizers upon entering the New World, and when Europeans invaded different African countries, the fascination and fetishization of African women was frequent. As Africans were put on display to attract tourists in Europe, this dehumanization was conducive in justifying the enslavement and abuse of Black people at the time (Asare, 2021). To this day, the hypersexualization of Black bodies continues as a pervasive trope through popular media and people’s unchecked biases, and the systemic violence against Black people continues.
The fetishization of East and Southeast Asian women has become popularly known as “yellow fever.” Since the 18th and 19th century, a time of imperialism and fantasizing Orientalism, as Western powers became increasingly intrigued with the East and Euro-Americans became obsessed with Chinoiserie, the imitation of Chinese motifs and techniques in Western art, Asian female bodies were seen as ornamental objects. Combined with being stereotyped as docile and submissive, and the “model minority” myth in which Asians are seen as more obedient and successful than others, as well as being seen as “perpetual foreigners,” Asian women continue to be seen as fantasized, exotic objects and to be subjects of harmful fetishization.
The US military occupation and wars in Asian countries have also played a large role in the fetishization of Asian women. Many local people turned to sex work during the war, and the Western perception of local Asian peoples as hypersexualized commodities has become normalized. Historically, Southeast Asian countries have particularly been subjected to colonization, violence, and imperialism from Western countries (e.g. the Vietnam War, Indochina Conflict, Philippine-American War, etc.) where women were raped, sexually assaulted, and impregnated by white soldiers (Hong, 2021). The colonization of female bodies in these countries has also added to the harmful fetishization of Southeast Asian women in the present day.
At the intersection of this historical racial, gendered violence committed by Western colonial forces is the deeply disturbed perpetuated concept of Asian women as disposable, replaceable, conquestable. As Sara Li writes for an article in Cosmopolitan after the Atlanta shooting, “When Asian women are eroticized on a mass scale and deprived of their humanity, it puts them at risk on a systemic level.” The dehumanization and objectification of BIPOC as seen throughout history has created so much violence, and this violence continues to exist every day.
Fetishization within racial and sexual minority spaces
Fetishization does not just occur towards women of color, and it also exists within nonwhite and queer spaces. Black and brown men and Asian men distinctively experience being fetishized in uniquely upsetting ways, as well as other folk within queer communities. Fetishization within ethnic and sexual minorities is still rooted in colonialism and is largely influenced by European beauty standards. This may look like colorism, texturism, and featurism, as minorities with certain physical traits are seen as more valuable than those with, for example, darker skin, more textured hair, and a flatter nose. Outside of dating scenes, this type of fetishization can also be seen in how people view their children. Within queer spaces, POC continue to be tokenized/exoticized, perhaps with “less problematic language.” In these scenarios, those subjected to fetishization from those they share community with may experience additional layers of experiences which contribute towards mental health struggles.
Consequences to health and wellbeing
A common theme of being subject of fetishization is feeling othered, by nature being seen as different and not belonging. It can contribute towards feelings of isolation and inhibit the development of one’s sense of self, at times feeling that it is easier and safer to act in ways which agree with biases in alignment with the fetishization. The constant questioning of how one is being perceived, having historical evidence to doubt that they are being valued for the person they are and instead being seen as certain traits or fulfilling a fantasy, can affect one’s sense of self-worth and self esteem. Unrecognition of fetishization may lead to the internalization of biases and racism by the perpetrators and also by those who are being fetishisized, leading towards self-hatred or negative self image. All of these internal conflicts and being the subject of discrimination is associated with greater levels of anxiety, depression, and sleep issues than those who do not have these experiences (Park, 2021).
Racial fetishization can also contribute towards physiological symptoms. Findings linking racial and sexual objectification with Asian American women’s health issues in areas related to trauma symptomatology, body image concerns, and disordered eating were reported by the American Psychological Association (APA). Further, racial trauma, unlike traditional forms of trauma and PTSD, is more likely to occur vicariously (see blog post on vicarious trauma) (Nguyen, 2022). It is further inseparable from the larger socio-political landscapes we live in, the resolution of racial trauma thus residing in systems of the world rather than within oneself or one’s more immediate environment. This lack of control and potentially lower sense of agency may further contribute towards distress and mental and physical health symptoms.
Conclusion
The fetishization of BIPOC communities is deeply rooted in colonialism, imperialism, and racism. It is important to recognize the history and the palpable harm that is involved in racial fetishization which has occurred in the past and continues to manifest as violence to this day. The impact on one’s mental health and wellbeing as well as the impact racial fetishization has on BIPOC communities at large is real, and that acknowledgment is essential in collective healing and moving away from violence and towards solidarity.
Check out some of the resources of Racial Fetishizationhere.
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Fostering Trauma-Informed Care for BIPOC Communities
Trauma-informed care is an essential aspect of mental health counseling, especially when it comes to serving the diverse needs of BIPOC communities. Trauma-informed care seeks to acknowledge the role trauma plays in people's lives and the impact it has on their health and well-being. The work of trauma-informed care requires a nuanced understanding of how trauma impacts the lives and care of patients and aims to address the root causes of trauma that can impact generations (Richards, 2021). Therefore, adopting a trauma-informed approach also requires a commitment to understanding and addressing the unique challenges faced by BIPOC communities.
Understanding Trauma
Trauma comes in various forms, and its impact can be profound and lasting. For BIPOC individuals, historical and systemic traumas, such as colonization, slavery, and racism, have deeply affected their collective psyche. Acknowledging this historical context is crucial in providing adequate care that respects the depth and complexity of their experiences. Racism is trauma and should be treated as such in any comprehensive trauma-informed care framework (Richards, 2021).
What Trauma-Informed Care Looks Like:
Fostering a Safe Space: Creating a safe and welcoming environment is foundational to trauma-informed care (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2019). For BIPOC individuals who may have historically faced discrimination or mistreatment within healthcare systems, ensuring a safe space is vital. Some ways to foster trust include allowing clients to define safety for themselves and respecting their boundaries, providing clear information on therapeutic treatment, ensuring transparency in all decision-making, and prioritizing informed consent (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2019).
Cultural Humility: Cultural humility requires an ongoing commitment to learning about, respecting, and responding to the unique needs of individuals from diverse backgrounds. A trauma-informed approach must embed principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion to deliberately move past cultural stereotypes and biases and ensure access to services that address the specific needs of individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2019). Therapists and healthcare providers must be willing to engage in ongoing self-reflection and education on diversity. By integrating cultural humility into care practices, mental healthcare providers can build stronger connections and foster a more inclusive healing environment.
Empowerment and Collaboration: Trauma-informed care empowers individuals to actively participate in their healing process. This collaborative approach respects the autonomy and agency of BIPOC individuals. By involving clients in decision-making processes and acknowledging their resilience, therapists and other healthcare providers can foster a sense of empowerment that contributes to the healing journey (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2019).
Addressing Historical Trauma: Recognizing the impact of historical traumas on BIPOC communities is essential for providing effective care. Acknowledging this history without retraumatizing individuals requires sensitivity and a commitment to healing. Incorporating culturally informed therapeutic techniques can help address both the immediate and intergenerational effects of historical trauma.
Realizing Trauma-Informed Care: In practical terms, trauma-informed care for BIPOC individuals involves a shift in perspective and a commitment to actively dismantling the barriers that have previously stood in the way of effective treatment. Leaders and providers within the mental healthcare system must continue to engage in bias training and education on racial equity and trauma. Building organizational knowledge of race, racial trauma, and the impact of racism on health care delivery for patients is an essential first step to fostering trauma-informed care for BIPOC communities (National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 2019).
Trauma-informed care requires recognition of the interconnectedness between personal experiences and broader systemic issues. Incorporating cultural humility, continuous self-reflection, and training on the historical context of trauma can help mental healthcare professionals better understand and respond to the unique needs of BIPOC individuals. By embracing the principles of safety, cultural competence, empowerment, and historical awareness, mental healthcare providers can contribute to a more compassionate and inclusive healing journey for all.
To learn more about trauma, see our blog posts on vicarious trauma, adverse childhood experiences, intergenerational trauma, and Racial Trauma.
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Thanksgiving
November is often a time filled with reflection and introspection and includes the national holiday of Thanksgiving*. During this time, a seemingly inescapable spotlight is shown on gratitude. Gratitude is the quality of being thankful and is a way for people to acknowledge and appreciate the goodness in their lives. Gratitude is generally seen as a positive emotion and has been shown to be linked to myriad mental, social, and physical health benefits. However, not everyone feels positively towards the star of the show. A variety of sentiments, not just positive ones, can come up during this holiday including sadness, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and grief to name a few. Especially when the world feels like it is on fire, gratitude may be felt with the accompaniment of guilt, shame, despair, etc. The following article will address the psychology and neurobiology of gratitude as well as offer tips in managing Thanksgiving Blues and cultivating gratitude, considering the potential complex emotions that may come with this day.
*Although some may regard this holiday as Thanksgiving, the author would also like to acknowledge this holiday as The National Day of Mourning in remembrance and recognition of the land theft, genocide, and poverty that Native Americans have faced since European settlers arrived 400 years ago. It is essential to the liberation of the historically oppressed and in forming a better, more just future to acknowledge the true history behind Thanksgiving.
Here are a few sources to begin learning.
The Psychology of Gratitude
Much of the robust research on the psychological effects of gratitude has been conducted within the field of positive psychology. Findings have shown that those who consciously recognize and are intentional about feeling gratitude experience various mental, physical, and social health benefits. Weekly journaling about gratitude has been associated with increased optimism and having a more positive outlook on one’s own life. Additionally, a study has shown that in comparison to those who wrote about sources of aggravation, participants journaling about gratitude were found to exercise more and have fewer visits to doctors. Other research has investigated how being grateful can improve relationships. In one such study involving couples, results showed not only more positive feelings towards one’s partner, but also more comfortability in expressing concerns about their relationship for those who took time to express gratitude for their partner. Outside of romantic relationships, studies have shown increased employee motivation and work efforts upon expressed gratitude from managers and company leaders. Research suggests that gratitude has deep roots in human evolution and continues to manifest in our brains and DNA as well as in child development (more information on this and the evolutionary origin of gratitude can be found here).
In all, gratitude contributes towards people focusing on and appreciating what they have in the present, and it often allows one to recognize sources of goodness coming into their life from outside of themselves. Being thankful may assist in connecting individuals to other humans, nature, and/or causes and powers greater than themselves and lead towards a cycle of giving and receiving thanks, empathy, and compassion.
Gratitude and the Brain
Studies from neuroscience have provided evidence of gratitude as an intrinsic component of the human experience as specific brain areas and neural mechanisms likely involved in experiencing and expressing gratitude have been identified. Relevant identified areas include the right anterior temporal cortex and the right inferior temporal gyrus. Neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin, crucial in experiencing positive emotions, have also been positively associated with expressing and receiving gratitude. The hippocampus and amygdala, the two main regions regulating emotions, memory, and bodily functioning, and parts of the limbic system which is responsible for all emotional experiences, are also activated with feelings of gratitude. Further, studies have shown better sleep and decreased stress in those who actively practice feeling gratitude, most likely connected to activation of hypothalamic regulation and reduction in cortisol levels.
Neural responses to gratitude include not only increasing positive emotions but also managing negative emotions (e.g. guilt, shame, violence) and reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. This may be helpful to note not just in fostering gratitude but also in experiencing Thanksgiving Blues.
Tips on Handling Thanksgiving
Managing Thanksgiving Blues
Tune into what you are feeling and give yourself permission to feel less advertised emotions. Practice accepting your feelings and notice how you may be able to prioritize self care. Be mindful of triggers that may contribute towards negative emotions and think about healthy coping strategies preemptively (e.g. setting boundaries, planning your exit from events ahead of time, create plans you can look forward to, etc.).
Reframe expectations. Create your own vision of what Thanksgiving looks like for you outside of what is depicted in mainstream media. By moving away from unrealistic expectations, one may find more space to move around in and find comfort in real life experiences. You can create your own meaning behind the holiday or leave meaning and value out of Thanksgiving in totality.
Be open to receiving gratitude from others. If you are spending the holiday with others and do not feel inclined to give thanks or express gratitude, consider remaining open to others’ expression of gratitude towards you. Receiving gratitude has been shown to increase heart rate and immune system and raise levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin - “feel-good” hormones.
Ways to Cultivate Gratitude
Keep a gratitude journal.
Be mindful of and intentional in regularly thinking about what you appreciate within and outside of yourself.
Express your gratitude towards others.
Conclusion
Thanksgiving can be served with many sides of complex emotions. Here is a reminder that there is room to experience multiple complex emotions at once, even if they feel opposing towards each other. Be mindful of the past and own your agency in creating your present and future. Speaking with a therapist may be helpful in sorting through these feelings and acknowledging your wants and needs in a nonjudgmental and supportive space. In addition, they can assist in providing space to reflect on, name, and foster feelings of gratitude or otherwise which may be coming up along with the holiday.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
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